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31 Reviews Found

Review #1, by twitchy_pigeons 

7th February 2015:
I just have to say that I love love love your portrayal of James, Sirius, Snape, and Lily, and the dynamics between them and all the other characters. So many people go to the extremes with their personalities. You've painted them as humans, not polarizations of their known traits. And of course, James and his stance toward the Dark Arts was perfect. I would take J. Potter for protector any day of the week. :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I worked really hard on their characterisations (well, all except James, who seemed to leap from my pen fully formed) to try to get their mannerisms etc right, so I'm really pleased you agree with my interpretation. Thanks for the review!

cheers Mel


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Review #2, by nott theodore 

7th July 2014:
This was a great chapter! I'd kind of forgotten about this incident that's mentioned in canon - it's so brief - that I didn't expect it to appear in this story, but I really liked your version of events. To me it felt really believable and plausible, and it's a good explanation of what might have happened when something in canon is so briefly mentioned.

I felt so, so sorry for Mary here since she didn't know what was going on at all, and I think it got the horror of the war and the Imperius Curse across; she would have blindly led the first years into the Forest and not have known at all that she was leading them to their deaths until it was far too late, and that would be terrible on her conscience. You wrote her under the curse brilliantly (I've not mentioned her accent before now but well done on writing that too, and being consistent with it!). I'm just glad Laura was there to stop her and make sure she got help!

I think that James was right to be angry and I think his outburst in this chapter felt natural and in character for him. Dumbledore's clearly letting students get away with a lot right now because he doesn't want them to leave and join the Death Eaters, but I hope the punishment is severe! I'm glad everyone rallied round to look after Laura at the end, too - we saw quite a sweet side to James!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hey, if we knew about it, I tried to include it in this story. I've even added extra bits I picked up from re-reading the books in the new revised version - just a comment here, an aside there, but since we know so little from that era, I thought it would be silly not to use it. The hard thing was working out what Mulciber had tried to do, as clearly he wasn't successful from Lily's wording. But yeah, poor Mary. That would have been horrible.

I really liked James this chapter and I'm glad you did too. WE know he hated the Dark Arts so this would really bring that out, I would think. And yes, he does have a sweet (and protective) side. Glad that came out!

cheers Mel


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Review #3, by Ann Morton 

14th February 2013:
wonderful chapter, better than some of J.K. Rowlings!

Author's Response: Really? What an amazing compliment. Thank you so much!! :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #4, by Olga 

30th December 2012:
I love the way you portrayed Jeames in this chapter!

Author's Response: Aw, thanks! I love James in this one too. James is actually the character I developed least, because he emerged fully-formed when I started writing him. And I love him dearly, as this chapter shows I think. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #5, by Lillylover22 

29th February 2012:
Poor mary. I love that james looked after laura 9/10 : )

Author's Response: Oh, I love James in this. He's just so - James, I guess. Glad you liked it!
cheers, Mel


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Review #6, by singer123 

12th December 2011:
I think Lily's getting interested in James...
What James did for Laura was so kind..!
I hope Lily's realizes THAT!

Author's Response: Yeah, I think Lily was actually interested in James for a lot longer than a lot of people seem to think, but was just waiting for him to grow up a bit. This was my way of trying to show that. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #7, by classicblack 

12th October 2011:
You're just doing a brilliant job of sticking to cannon, and I like how you include all those minor details about this time that we tend to forget about. As soon as it was revealed Mary was Imperiused, my brain click and I was like "oh! I completely forgot about that!". I think you're developement of James, and really all the characters so far is brilliant. Another well done chapter!
Until next chapter,
classicblack

Author's Response: Thanks again! I admit it took me a little while to work out what Mulciber could have tried to do to Mary, but this seemed to work okay. Also very pleased that you like my version of James - he just appeared fully formed on the screen but this chapter really showed him at his best, I think. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #8, by alicia and anne 

5th August 2011:
Who would use an unforgivable curse on Mary?! Those pesky Slytherins!!
Is Mulciber a death eater? his name sounds quite familiar?
James is cute looking after Laura. His outburst was very good. It's nice to see Laura having a friendship with James, it's not too often I read about James being anything other then a joker 24/7 or obsessed with Lily 24/7, I really like the way that you've written him.

alicia and anne
Slytherin

Author's Response: Ah,poor Mary. It was canon - that something happened to her, anyway - so I had to include it, and I liked the opportunity to show a bit of James the Hero, which was always in there but which he hadn't really grown into yet. At least, the way I see him that is. Amazingly enough he just kind of appeared on the page fully-formed without me even thinking about him, so I just let my fingers go and that's what came out of his mouth. Don't you just love it when that happens?

cheers, Mel


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Review #9, by girly1393 

5th June 2011:
Wizard God, those terrible Slytherins!

I hate them. I really do; I agree with James. I know they're fictional characters, but they make me so goddamn mad!

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: Well, this was a scene that came from canon (kind of) so it had to be in there. But yes, terrible people with no thought about others. I'm really proud of James in this chapter, he comes across as such a leader and so passionate about this cause, which fits what we do know about him from JKR. Thanks!

cheers, Mel


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Review #10, by Ali 

11th April 2011:
This story's great! Oh, poor Mary :(

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review!

Yes, poor Mary. However, I had to come up with SOMETHING for Mulciber to have tried to do to her (as per Lily in The Prince's Tale, DH) and this was the best I could think of. Very pleased that you think I managed to pull it off okay, so thank you!

cheers, Mel


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Review #11, by JayJay 

5th April 2011:
Aw, James is so cute! I love him!! I really want Lily to just fess up and date him already! They're perfect for each other! And I also really want Laura and Mary to become bff's with Lily, Charlotte, and Martha. =)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review!

Yes, I'm rather fond of James in this chapter. Somehow he seemed to erupt fully-formed from my fingers as I typed, meaning that I didn't have to work on his characterisation at all,he wrote himself. And I was really pleased with how he turned out, so I'm glad that others like him too. As for Lily, well we know that they didn't get together till seventh year so he's got a bit of waiting to do there.

cheers, Mel


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Review #12, by theelderwand 

19th August 2010:
Wow!

Taking me a while to comport my thoughts here.

Mel, that was simply an amazing chapter, a great plot development/twist. Never saw it coming. The idea of taking the first years to see acromantulas: diabolically clever. Excellent bit of writing.

James the Hero. I was so hoping, under the right circumstances, we'd get to see that side of him. Echoes of Harry here. This whole chapter was just...superb. Running out of adjectives.

I never realized that Mary Macdonald was a canon character, had completely forgotten about that mention of what Mulciber did to Mary via "The Prince's Tale." good eye for detail that.

I must keep going here.

Eldy.

P.S. Dumbles, Flitwick, McG, Poppy, everyone's perfectly JKR.

Author's Response: This chapter was actually a really hard one to get right because of the way Lily worded it in DH - "what Mulciber TRIED to do to Mary Macdonald" - which means that he wasn't very successful. It had to be evil, though, and with the knowledge that at least one of the Mulcibers was good at this curse I thought this might be a decent way of trying to address it. I'm very pleased that you think it fits because it's one part of this story I'm still a bit unsure about.

I am proud of James in this chapter, though. I think I've said before that he just erupted as a fully formed character from my fingers when I was writing this and some of his comments took even me by surprise, but they were just so much in the character I wanted him to have - so perfect for the 16yo James - that I kept them in there. There is a lot of him in Harry, I think, and we just needed the right circumstances for that to come out.

Thanks too for your compliments re my characterisation - Dumbledore in particular is hard to get right and I've had some mixed feedback so I'm glad that it hit the right spot for you at least. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #13, by In The Shadows I Dwell 

17th August 2010:
James's outburst fit his character wonderfully! I must admit, I had completely forgotten about the line which spoke of Mary and Mulciber. Perhaps that's why the name seemed so awfully familiar when I first read it. Once again it's the details that have me completely in love with this story, and it's the finest ones like the tie in with Mulciber being quite good at the Imperius curse that really add that element of life to this fic, one again the writing is flawless, making it one of those rare and brilliant fics to read! Well done! *off to read the next chapter!*

Author's Response: Hi again!

I must confess to being extremely proud of my characterisation of James in this chapter - though I don't know how much credit I can actually take, because James just seemed to erupt onto the page as a fully-formed character and all I had to do was stage-manage him. In any case this side of him was bursting to get out into the narrative, and what better way than with the Mary/Mulciber incident (which, by the way, you are by no means the first person to have forgotten about). Thanks again!

cheers, Mel


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Review #14, by Capella Black 

14th August 2010:
Loved James in this chapter - he really fits with how I've always imagined James to be - outwardly arrogant and irritating, but deep down quite caring and principled. Definitely in character, and a nice way of Lily getting to see this without it being all about her.

Poor Mary! I'd forgotten all about this little bit of canon, so this came as a surprise. However, your description of someone under a poorly performed imperius was perfect, leading to me realising what was going on just as Laura did. Good thing too, as the idea you came up with for what Mulciber wanted her to do was both canontastic and utterly awful. Again, backing up and rounding out canon perfectly, with enough uniqueness to keep the story compelling at the same time.

Great chapter, off to read more!

Author's Response: Hi again!

I'm quite chuffed with how James turned out in this chapter myself. For some reason, James just wrote himself in this story - I never sat down and thought, "I'm going to characterise him this way," I just wrote and he came out fully formed. And in a scene like this he really does show his best side, as you noticed. Someone else described it as James the Hero and I would tend to agree - Harry had to get it from somewhere, and from what we know of James it seems likely that he would have thought and behaved in this way. At least, I think it does.

As for poor Mary, well it was really hard coming up with someting that Mulciber could have done unsuccessfully, and this was the best I could do. It felt weak at the time but people seem to like it (thank you!) so I must have done better than I'd thought. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #15, by doglover 

11th August 2010:
i love how james acted!!!

Author's Response: I'm actually really proud of James in this chapter. For some reason I never really needed to write James' character, it was like he came to me fully formed and as such wrote himself. This was I thought a really important side of him to show, though - James the leader, James the warrior for light over dark, James the protector. We know he had it in him, it just needed something like this to bring it to the surface.

cheers, Mel


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Review #16, by ericajen 

27th July 2010:
I was wondering when I would be seeing the dark magic Mulciber tried on Mary, since I knew it was canon and you are sticking as closely as possible to it. I liked the way it was done. Laura's concern for her friend was really realistic and even sad, since it was such a horrible situation in the first place.

Author's Response: Yes, here's the Mary/Mulciber thing. This was one of the main reasons I started this fic in fifth year - just about all the canon we have from this era is in fifth year so it seemed a shame not to use what I could. I really liked James in this chapter, actually - he kind of wrote himself in this story and I really like how he turned out. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #17, by Twins dancer 

13th July 2010:
You are absolutely amazing! I would never be able to remember all that, and I've read Deathly Hallows atleast five times. You continue to captivate me with your skill and plot!

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review!

Ah, don't give me too much credit, I just wrote down everything that we had in the canon from that era and tried to use them in this story. I just read DH with more of an eye for this sort of thing than you must have, that's all. *grins* I'm very pleased you're continuing to enjoy this. Thank you!

cheers, Mel


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Review #18, by hermionetwin44 

6th July 2010:
this is really good!!! i like how you tied in the facts from the books.
luv it! 9/10

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review!

I"m glad you appreciate these canon inclusions - I figured that as we have so little canon from the Marauder era it seemed a shame not to use as much of it as I possibly could. Hence, chapters like this one. Very pleased you liked it!

cheers, Mel


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Review #19, by Helena 

21st March 2010:
So, I started reading your story today, because my cousin told me it was good, but I didn't expect it to be THAT good ;)
Seriously this is awesome, it's one of the best fanfictions I ever read! I'm so looking forward to Laura/Sirius stuff I'm all shaking ;)
Keep on writing :)

And btw I loved the way James looked after Laura that afternoon, so sweet :)

Author's Response: Hi Helena! Thanks for the review! I do love getting reviews from new people ... actually, I love all reviews, but you know what I mean. :D

And I'd also like to thank your cousin for recommending my story - it's fantastic to get word of mouth readers like that. *beams* I will warn you, though, that the Laura/Sirius stuff starts a fair way in - I structured this story more as a coming of age story than a traditional romance which means that there's a big focus on character development.

As for this chapter, yes I liked James in it, too! James is a character who has just come really easily to me, I rarely plan his scenes before writing them because they come out so well without my planning them.

thanks again, Mel


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Review #20, by lily/scorpius rox 

1st March 2010:
where's sirius/lauren because besides being a very interesting rendition of the marauder's 5th year this doesn't seem to be going anywhere and what's with you and the word tidy

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks for the review!

Yes, I know this story is a little slow at the start, and I actually had an author note in there that explained why I structured it the way I did, but that got deleted when I did my early chapter re-writes. Basically, I structured this as a coming of age story rather than a romance, so the romance part starts later than usual. I also began this in fifth year because (a) I wanted to show character development from then onwards, and (b) most of the canon that we do have from this era is from fifth year and I wanted to include that. We know how the canon characters behaved then, I wanted to show their maturing from that to how I saw them as seventh years. So the story covers the last three years of their schooling, not just fifth year. Therefore,if it doesn't seem to be going anywhere, that's why.

As for the word "tidy", well that's a Welsh thing. It's a word used a lot by Welsh people so that's just me being consistent with my narrator's background.

If you do choose to read on I hope you enjoy it, but please be patient as like I said the Sirius thing takes a while to take hold.

cheers, Mel


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Review #21, by Ronsgirl29 

11th January 2010:
wow you're the queen of details! i didn't even realize Mary Macdonald was a girl mentioned in the books by Lily. Very impressive! I liked this chapter alot, James was actually acting like a gentleman and there was a good bit of drama! 10/10

Author's Response: Hi again!

Ah, yes, canon references. I just feel that for the marauder era we have so little actual canon to go on that it would have been silly of me not to use every little bit I could. So I scoured the books and the Lexicon looking for any references that I could use, and I think I used all of them. So yes, Mary Macdonald was definitely referred to in Deathly Hallows when Lily was admonishing Snape about his choice of friends.

Glad you liked this chapter, I'm actually quite proud of how I characterised James in it so its' great to have other people appreciate that too.

cheers, Mel


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Review #22, by ochalke5 

4th January 2010:
Remus was out because of the Full moon, no? Well it was a really good chapter. And hopefully now that James has talked and "protected" Laura all day that maybe she'll hang around them more. I really liked this chapter. It was by far my favorite. I really like this story. And this chapter... amazing. Great work Mel.
10/10
natalie

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, that's exactly why Remus wasn't around. From Lily's quotes in Deathly Hallows it sounded like what Mulciber did and the werewolf prank happened pretty much one on top of the other, so yes, this was full moon time. I took Remus out of classes in the time leading up to the full moon on the assumption that there would need to be some preparations made before his transformation.

As for the rest of this chapter, I'm actually really proud of how I wrote James in it. As so often happens my fingers just ran off by themselves and came out with some of his lines, but they fit so well, exactly how I pictured James to be. As to whether Laura will start hanging out with them more now ... well, to tell you that would be a spoiler, wouldn't it? And I don't do spoilers. Sorry!

cheers, Mel


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Review #23, by make you want it 

29th October 2009:
I liked this chapter a lot, James was very sweet and I'm glad to see he's is maturing and his character is developing from the arrogant prankster into someone who acutly cares about something. Also glad to see the begining of more interaction between Laura and the boys.
All in all a very good chapter.

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, James was pretty sweet there wasn't he? I have tried to get the characters maturing at a believable rate and we know James was always most forthright about the Dark Arts so it seemed to fit.

cheers, Mel


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Review #24, by pinaygrl3123 

11th October 2009:
Whoaa. Why would anyone do that to Mary! Not poor, sweet Mary! I love Mary! I swear she's like my favorite! And MAN! You did your reasearch, well! Haha. I love that. I'm glad they were able to catch on quickly about her having in. Subtle about the other person in the Hospital Wing, I barely even thought of Remus being back there. Haha. James was amazing, I love his fierce belief against the dark arts. Something Harry undoubtedly inherits, it's uncanny how similarly passionate they are about that. I hope Mary's just fine! Ahh, I love this storyyy. And I got my acceptance letter to college! So this is a good dayyy. Woot!

Author's Response: Hi again! :D

Yes, poor Mary. Though I did have to have something happen to her, as per Lily's line from Deathly Hallows, so this was it.

And I too liked James and his little outbursts. I always saw him as really forthright and fervent in his hatred for the Dark Arts (it was highlighted so many times in the canon that I thought it would have to be obvious) so this was how that panned out for me.

Oh, and congrats on getting into college! Well done :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #25, by MYHEART BELONGS TO WOOD 

9th October 2009:
WOW! Another great chapter. James is really very suprisngly protective and concerned. It is frustrating how Laura flips everything as being not true or always looking at the negative side. Melian you so deserve the dobby award for most addicting story!

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! *beams*

Yes, James has his heart in the right place. I think he'd get worked up about anyone being cursed like that, but I did like the protective side - that surprised even me as I was writing it, but I kept it there because it seemed right for him.

And yes, Laura misinterprets so many things. She thinks she's clued in but she's way out with so much of it. Though that does make her fun to write! *evil grin*

thanks for the review!
Mel


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