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31 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore 

7th July 2014:
Hello again!

I really liked the way that you included the fact that Sirius had run away from home over the holidays in this story. It's something that's important to incorporate but often forgotten, I think. It makes sense there would be a lot of gossip about it if Sirius is such a popular boy at school, and besides that, he comes from a big and well-known wizarding family, so the news is bound to travel fast. I'm glad that it clearly affected him, though, and he was struggling to deal with what had happened, because I don't think leaving home at that age could fail to affect someone.

It's nice for Lily to have someone like Lance as a distraction at the moment, because we know that Lily and James won't get together till seventh year and James clearly isn't mature enough for her yet. But it must be hard being her boyfriend if you're threatened with curses and jinxes from her other admirers constantly! I liked the slight return to normality with all of the OWLs and Laura dealing with her sister, but the prank by the Marauders was a fun distraction for them. Elvira's so horrible! She was so mean to Laura just for asking for advice and not liking what she heard! I hope Laura doesn't take it to heart, and I'm glad Remus was there to tell her not to listen to her!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Yes, Remus is a good person, isn't he? If he ever managed to get over the whole lycantrhopy thing he would have been quite a catch, I think. Poor Tonks, she would have been so frustrated with him I imagine. But I digress. Glad you enjoyed this! I agree with you that Sirius leaving home would have been a huge topic of conversation around the school, particularly if he was as popular as JKR indicated. And yes, I agree that at that age it couldn't fail to affect him somehow. I've seen fics where he's celebrating, but I do think that rejection from his family would have been hard to bear, even if he didn't like them all that much. I think it's later in the text - it's hard to have the person who gave you life say she wishes she didn't.

cheers, Mel


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Review #2, by DancingMooncalf 

1st January 2013:
I really like this story, because it is so honest!
I can hardly stop reading. Nice work!

Author's Response: Thank you! I did try to make it realistic. So pleased you're enjoying it. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #3, by Gracie 

29th December 2012:
Cute, I meant cute:-p

Author's Response: No worries. I think I read it as that anyway. :)

thanks, Mel


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Review #4, by Gracie 

29th December 2012:
D'aAaAaAaW this is cuts and interesting :-)

Author's Response: Thank you! Glad you're enjoying it. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #5, by Lillylover22 

29th February 2012:
Remus is so nice 9/10 : )

Author's Response: He is, isn't he? I'm rather fond of him myself.

cheers, Mel


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Review #6, by singer123 

12th December 2011:
Aww.. You're SO right!!
You've made Laura like a really normal person!
Not someone seemingly unattainable like Lily and James.
Finally someone who isn't the most gorgeous person in the world and has countless suitors drooling over them...

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I tried to make Laura as normal as possible, and therefore relatable for my readers. There didn't seem to be many stories like that out there, but it seemed much more realistic. Glad you appreciate it!

cheers, Mel


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Review #7, by classicblack 

4th October 2011:
"Rabbit from hell" Haha his furry little problem, I actually laughed out loud! I actually sort of like the idea of Laura and Remus a bit more than Laura and Sirius, but you're the author so you know best. I'd like to see her play Quidditch. I know it already said that she a bad player, but still. Laura + a broom looks right. Anyway, well done!
Until next chapter,
classicblack

Author's Response: Lol. I had a lot of fun with the "furry little problem" scenario, as my main OCs truly had to believe there was a rabbit in order to make this story fit what Remus told Harry in the books. Glad you liked it!

And you're not alone, a few people at this point liked the idea of Laura and Remus. And at this point of the story, you might have a point. But really I see them as being too similar in character for it to work very well. And that's all I'm saying there. :)

And Quidditch? Sorry. Not going to happen. She can't stay on her broom if she's holding a Quaffle, and she knows it. But thanks for the vote of confidence. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #8, by Debra20 

18th August 2011:
Oh! Sirius running away from home. Sadly, I think this is the first of many turning points in his life that will gradually turn him into what we know later on. I loved how his decision of abandoning his family produced noticeable changes in his appearance and demeanour, even if they didn't last long. As much as he was at war with his family for some time, running away and turning your back on them forever isn't an easy thing.

Another thing I appreciated is how you progressed Bea's story and how her actions directly affected Laura. There is a very significant change in terms of the gravity of her actions and the consequences they had for Laura from the beginning of the story until now. I cannot imagine what it must have been for Laura to endure all the pointing, and the whispering about her. You can really feel for her.

I think I grinned all the while I was reading the brief interaction between Remus and Laura. I know that this is a Sirius centred fic, but it's always an incredibly pleasant touch when we get to see more of the other Marauders as well. Especially Lupin who is my favourite of the gang (seconded by Sirius of course :D). How much time did you spend researching the Marauders anyway? I know I am repeating myself over and over again but it's absolutely unbelievable how well you write them. Even in the little fragment that we have read about Lupin, you can just feel him, his personality. He produces the same feelings in me when you write him as when I was reading about him in Jo's work. I think you must be one of the best Marauder authors out there. Without question!

Author's Response: Sirius running away from home was definitely something I needed to cover in this story, and I chose to have it happen at Christmas time in fifth year (all we really had was an age - 16 -at which it occurred). I agree that leaving your family forever wouldn't be something anyone would take lightly, even if you hated them, so that was how I chose to show it, as it was from the eyes of someone who was nowhere near being in the know.

I'm glad you like my version of Remus. He's a lovely character and it was fun using him as a stepping stone, of sorts, to the other Marauders. I did spend a lot of time on research for this story, including looking for speech patterns and mannerisms to use in behaviour and dialogue. In other words, I used as much as I could of what JKR had given us and simply tried to expand on that, rather than giving them characterisations of my own. Thank you! :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #9, by alicia and anne 

4th August 2011:
You really know how to make Hogwarts seem like a real school with the gossiping, needing to know everything about everyone else, and I really feel like i'm in the story with them.
I feel a little sorry for Sirius, and it doesn't suprise me that some fan club members dropped him because he's disinherited. But at least he has his friends around him. I still feel bad for Laura and the way people treat her because of her sister. James and Sirius's prank is hilarious and I loved how they timed how long it'll take for Dumbledore or McGongall to arrive!
Oh Remus was cute telling Laura that! I do love a bit of Remus :-D


alicia and anne
Slytherin

Author's Response: Yes, I remember the gossip at school, and I figured Hogwarts wouldn't be any different. I'm glad it makes you feel a part of the story though, because that means I'm clearly doing something right. Thank you! :)

As for the prank and timing the arrival of the authorties, well I have to say that I"m kind of proud of that one myself. It just flowed from my fingers and felt so right that I just had to keep it. :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #10, by girly1393 

5th June 2011:
Laura, the advice-giving therapist. She's such a genuine person, I love her.

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: Yes, I thought that was a very Laura-ish trait so I had no hesitation in giving it to her. Plus it comes into play later on, which is usually the case with these things because otherwise why introduce the concept at all?

cheers, Mel


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Review #11, by theelderwand 

19th August 2010:
"The boys in turn closed ranks around him and didn't let anyone else get near him."

This was spot on characterization for the Marauders; you said it all right there. Well done.

This had me in stitches:

"Twenty-one seconds for McGonagall or Dumbledore," said Sirius, a broad smile on his face. "That's one of our best results yet."

The whole exchange in the library was brutal. I really do feel for Laura - you've written and developed her exceptionally well. And, Lupin's talk with her was stellar. But the best flourish here has to be what Laura made of it. Very age-appropriate reaction Laura had trying to figure out Remus' motivation.

Yet another solid chapter.

Eldy.

P.S. I'm really having no patience for Laura's sister Bea. I'd reallylike to see Laura give her "what for" and tell her to grow up and stop ruining her life. Ok. I'm emotionally invested now.

Author's Response: Again, I was sick of Marauder stories where Sirius pretty much held a party when he left home. It just didn't strike me as realistic, and I thought what I wrote here was a much more believable interpretation, so it's very reassuring that you agree with me on that. And as we have already discussed it seems I have a reasonable understanding of the way the male mind works so that's very helpful when it comes to story construction. *grins*

And yes, the library exchange was brutal, but again that sort of thing happens between girls that age. Say what you know is bound to be a sore point and you've won the argument. Elvira didn't like what she'd heard so she lashed out with what she knew Laura wouldn't want to hear. I'm glad that you liked Laura's reaction to the Remus discussion, too - like you said, about right for a girl of her age and with her background. At least, that was what I was trying for.

cheers, Mel


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Review #12, by In The Shadows I Dwell 

17th August 2010:
Interesting, Remus was always the smart one so his words should be taken into account. Laura too seems to be quite intelligent despite her actually stating Lily to be the smartest. I find that Laura's insight into the world around her is something greater than many others seem to suspect. She also has her fair share of problems, I could scarcely imagine having to look out for an older sibling as she does, yet she does it without complaint, to me she is a very strong character and by extension very real and human in a sense. Your writing style has brought each and every one of these characters to life so amazingly! I must continue!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, Laura has a brain of her own but, as the younger sister of an acknowledged genius, she's always going to downplay her own accompllishments because, compared to Bea, she's the dumb one. So, she thinks she's the dumb one compared to Lily, too, because that's the only reality she knows. Harsh, but true.

I am pleased though that you think she's very human and real because that was another thing I was going for - a relatable, real main character. Again, not all that common in a lot of fanfics and something worth striving for, I thought. Thank you! *beams*

cheers, Mel


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Review #13, by Capella Black 

14th August 2010:
Awww, Remus is so lovely. And, of course, 100% right - Elvira was clearly only upset because Laura pointed out that her biggest flaw was self inflicted. Still, the comment would make anyone feel like dirt, and I really felt for Laura in the situation.

I absolutely adored Sirius and James' prank, and their resulting attitude - timing to see how long the authorities took to get there as a mark of how good the prank was. They really need taking down a peg or too, and this all makes Lily's canon attitude a lot more understandable - how could anyone date someone so self-centred and arrogant?

Nice working in of the Sirius moving in with James plot line - a really interesting description of how they might have reacted to that set of events.

Finally, love the Elvira mentioned how perceptive Laura is, as that is one of her move endearing characteristics so far - that she notices and ponders over what other characters are doing, not in a nosy way, but simply in a non-egocentric way. Love that.

On to chapter 8!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, good old Elvira. She's a lot of fun to write, if I am to be honest with you, and yes, she reacted badly because she was told a few home truths. Sadly, far too many people are like that.

I was pretty proud of myself when I came up with the stopwatches to monitor prank reaction times, so I'm glad it's come off well. It just seemed to be something that they would do - and yes, it does help explain why Lily behaved like she did in the Snape's Worst Memory scene.

As for Sirius moving out of home, well I never thought it would be something he would make a big song and dance about. When you think about it, he was a 16 year old boy whose home life had simply become untenable - not an event that most people would want to draw attention to. I'm glad you liked my take on that.

cheers, Mel


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Review #14, by doglover 

10th August 2010:
aaawww remus is so nice :)

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, Remus is a sweetheart, and kinda mature for his age as well. But he said what Laura needed to hear just then so it was good that he was in the vicinity. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #15, by Ginnyrocks117 

29th July 2010:
Why do people have to be mean to her.
For one she can't pick her sister.
And if she didn't want to know the truth why ask??
I loved it!

-Ginnyrocks117

Author's Response: Unfortunately, this is one of the realities of school and teenaged life. Kids are cruel and will pick on someone for any number of things they dont' have any say over. Laura is just an example of that.

As for the scene in the library, well Elvira thought Laura would tell her what she wanted to hear. As you can tell, Elvira's not much of a judge of character sometimes.

cheers, Mel


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Review #16, by ericajen 

27th July 2010:
What I really liked about this chapter was finally getting to see some more insight into Laura's emotions. We already knew some things, like how her sister can really embarrass or that what happened with Sirius was mildly humiliating for her, but this is really her first expression of her feelings. I found that very nice(:

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, that probably is something that came out more here. I'm not sure why it didn't previously and maybe that's something I neeed to look at. In any case I'm glad it was coming out here because it's important as we go along so it's good if I was getting it even vaguely right.

cheers, Mel


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Review #17, by PrincessPadfoot 

27th May 2010:
Okay so I'm getting the hang of Mary's accent (finally!) I'm beginng to appreciate it more too. It must have been difficult for you to write like that for all of these chapters.

Aww Remus was really sweet to Laura. Elvira was just a meany poopy head. Laura only told her the truth and she had to go and say nasty things about her.

So sad...

On to chapter 8!!! (aren't you proud of me?!?! 3 chapters in one day!!)

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, I'm told that Mary's accent gets easier to understand the more you read it, so I'm glad you're getting the hang of it. And it might have been difficult to write, but to be honest I don't remember! It was so long ago. But yes, it does help make it feel more authentic, I think. :)

I love your description of Elvira, too - that has to be the best I've read I think. She's just immature in a lot of ways.

And yes, I'm very proud of you for reading 3 chapters in one day. Well done! And have a lovely time away too :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #18, by Schnatz 

27th April 2010:
Hi Mel,
I've had Uni till evening and so today I couldn't read as much as I wanted to. But the one chapter I've read was great. First and Foremost I liked the conversation between Remus and Laura (at this point I want to say that I find Elvira dislikable. I've already found her dislikable the first time you've written about her but in this chapter she was especially dislikable. Do you know what I mean? I think my sentence was a little bit dizzying :P) Back to the conversation between Remus and Laura - hach, Remus is so cute! :)
Oh, and what you wrote about 'I shouldn't overthink your plot' ... I didn't mean that like I overthink it in a way you do it in a school lesson where you have to analyse and interpret the text. I meant that I can overthink what I've translated before. Do you know what I mean? I don't know how I can discribe it in a better way, sorry! >.<
I'm looking forward to read the next chapters,
Love, Schnatz

P.S.: May I ask how old you are? And where you come from? I'm just interested.

Author's Response: Hi Schnatz! Thanks for reviewing again!

Now, I want you to know that I haven't been ignoring you and I have read the other review you've left, but I loaded up a new chapter the other day so I've been busy with a lot of other review responses. I write them in the order that the reviews came in so if it takes me a little while to get to your next one, please don't be disheartened. The response is coming, it can sometimes just take a few days.

Right. This chapter. I'm glad you liked the little conversation between Remus and Laura - I quite enjoyed writing their talks throughout the story. As for Elvira, well she's definitely of a type and you are most welcome to dislike her. She has her own role to play in this story though so be warned, you will see a bit of her.

And I think I know what you mean about overthinking what you've translated so I won't panic. Like I implied before, this story is intended to be a fun read more than a literary piece and so I'm very pleased you're not going to deconstruct it ... I don't think it could stand up to too much scrutiny. ;-)

cheers, Mel

PS Ah, the two questions I don't like to answer!! I'm in my 30s, I admit that, and unfortunately closer to 40 than to 30, but I don't like being much more specific than that. As for where I'm from, well not the UK or the US, but again, beyond that I'm a bit cagey. Sorry! The closest I will go is admitting to being from what used to be called the colonies, or what is now the British Commonwealth. I just really value my anonymity and so don't like revealing too much that could identify me. :)


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Review #19, by always_dreaming 

24th March 2010:
well now i'm a little confused. i just had to recheck the story relationships and whatnot on the overview. you aren't setting up for some unrequited remus/laura thing, are you? those always make me so sad (ha probably cause my life story is basically one unrequited crush after another).
i won't lie, i've had a hard time getting into the story. but i keep hearing great things about it and seeing it come up in my searches. this is maybe the fourth time i've tried reading it, and its sad! poor laura, has to live in the shadow of her sister's ugly reputation, has to live in the shadow of her beautiful dorm mates. at least she gets to live at hogwarts! i'm so jealous of that :/ (i'm a huge dork... don't judge!)
okay that was a huge ramble, but the gist of my feelings are positive towards the story, don't get me wrong! i think its just the long beginning that's holding me back. i don't know, and i think i'm starting to ramble again so i'll just stop now!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks for the review!

Yes, I know this story takes a long time to get into. I have actually just put a revised author note in ch1 which explains that I've structured this as a coming of age story more than a traditional romance, and as such it focuses more on character development than the lovey-dovey. Or, at least, for the most part it does. And yes, the beginning is sad in its way, but it really establishes the starting point for my main character. I was a bit sick of Sirius/OC stories where the girl is breathtakingly beautiful and/or massively popular so I wanted something a bit different. You may be pleased to learn however that since Bea is leaving Hogwarts after Laura's fifth year, she's got the last two years of school to get away from that stigma at least.

And good on you for checking the relationships on the story summary! Lots of people just don't think to do that. I had a lot of reviewers ask about Remus this chapter and, while I don't want to give anything away, those ships should give you an indication of how far that is likely to go. Put another way, he's a nice guy. He likes to help. Now, draw your own conclusions! *evil grin*

I'd also like to thank you for giving this story more than one go. (And I'd like to thank whoever has been saying nice things about it!) I fully understand how you might get frustrated at the long intro, so to speak, but if you're willing to give it another chance then I'm very grateful for that. Oh, and there's no way I'd judge you for wanting to live at Hogwarts - I think that a part of all of us does, otherwise why would we be on this site?

So, again, thanks for persevering, and if you do read all the way through (and I'll understand if you don't, it's very long) I do hope you start to enjoy it more.

cheers, Mel


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Review #20, by WeCunningFolksUseAnyMeans 

20th January 2010:
loveee it! the slide was hilairous, and as for james "Growing up" i love howw you showed that he is willing to let her be happy, (well at least for now) so many other fanfics show james constantly jumping down her throat and not leaving her alone! the fact that he is "laying low" for a while shows what a great guy he realy is. love the story :) yayay < 3

Author's Response: Hi again! Thanks for the review!

You know, it's funny responding to reviews for these early chapters because I really have to think about what was in them. It's just been so long since I posted them, you know? But I'm glad you liked it. I had all sorts of trouble thinking up Marauder pranks but the conversation around the slide just came to me as I was typing, comparing stats and the like, so it's great that you appreciate that. As for James, well let's just say that my take on the whole James/Lily relationship doesn't have that much in common with the usual fanfic interpretation. If you keep on reading you'll see what I mean. Now, I just have to hope you like it! *grins*

cheers, Mel


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Review #21, by Ronsgirl29 

10th January 2010:
aww that was really sweet of Remus, I like how you write his character as well! you have a talent for characterization! oh and that elvira girl is just a nasty piece of work isnt she!? 10/10

Author's Response: Hi again!

I'm really pleased that you like my characterisations because I put a lot of work into them. (Not sure if I've mentioned this to you before or not ... review responses can run into each other in my head, if you know what I mean.) But yeah, characterisation is important to me and I did a lot of work on the canon characters, so to have you writing something like that makes my day. *beams*

As for Elvira, well yes, she's very much of a type. She does however have a role to play in this little drama so you'll see her popping up a few more times.

cheers, Mel


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Review #22, by jameslily1313 

7th January 2010:
what a wonderful chappie!!! it was quite incredibly awesome, and ill continue soon, right after a take a nice looonnnggg sleep. congrats on being so awesomely addictive!!! 10/10!!! xP

Author's Response: HI again!

Well, I see you are slowly making your way through the story, which is good news ... you haven't tired of it yet! Yay! And I'm very pleased that you liked this chapter - I'm testing my memory a bit as to what's in it but from memory it's a reasonably strong one :)

I hope you keep on reading and keep enjoying it.

cheers, Mel


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Review #23, by ochalke5 

3rd January 2010:
I really like this story and Remus is such a nice guy. IT's a great story and i cannot wait to see what happens next.
10/10
Natalie

Author's Response: Hi Natalie!

Yeah, Remus is a sweetie, isn't he? I like that about him. He's good at saying the right thing when it's something that doesn't concern him directly.

cheers, Mel


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Review #24, by saffy 

19th November 2009:
"You could never actually link James to any of these events as he was nowhere to be seen at the time"

prehaps he was using the invisibltiy cloak, ah i love your stroy eben when your to busy to update the other chapters are so well written you can just re read them :)

Author's Response: Hi Saffy!

You know, you're always able to bring a smile to my face. Thank you! :D Yes, that's exactly what James was doing, hiding underneath the Cloak. There was a reason I wrote "nowhere to be seen" as opposed to "nowhere near Lance". So, well picked up!

cheers, Mel


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Review #25, by MYHEART BELONGS TO WOOD 

9th October 2009:
WOW. I so did not see that one coming. Remus and Laura? I thought the Marauder in question was Sirius. I like how you keep the reader on thier toes! Good Chapter

Author's Response: Hi again!

You're not the first person to reach those conclusions about Remus and my lips are sealed about that. You'll just have to read on. Sorry! *evil grin*

Glad you're still enjoying the story though.

cheers, Mel


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