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35 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Becca 

8th December 2016:
I'm actually reading this through a second time, I really enjoy your story telling! I think that this chapter and the last highlight one of my favorite things: Bea and Laura's relationship. My older sister and I have one that's suuuper similar, and it made things difficult for me in high school when I had to break through being "the second coming." But I love the moments between them where it's obvious that even if Laura sometimes resents Bea for what she puts her through, the two of them are still sisters and Laura does love her a lot. The sister bond breaks through the stigma of Cauldwell, and I really appreciate the way you recognized that in this story. :)

Author's Response: You know, I used to know someone who was in that situation too - a close friend in primary school had a Bea, though it was a brother, not a sister. I suspect I subconsciously based Bea on that relationship. My friend had to change schools to end the "sister of" stigma, but Laura didn't have that luxury. I agree, though, that the sibling bond does overcome the social ostracising the younger sibling has - despite the bad press, that person is still their brotehr/sister, and that comes through. I'm very glad you think I captured that because I was certainly aiming to. Thanks for the comment!
cheers Mel


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Review #2, by nott theodore 

7th July 2014:
Hello!

Yay, so the beginning of this chapter was the quote from the story that's in the summary, so I was expecting it to have been a dare to ask her. I felt really sorry for Laura when he admitted it though, because nobody wants to be told they're the least likely person that someone would ask to dance at the Ball, other than a Slytherin. It's unfair that she's got that reputation because of Bea, really.

I liked the section with Bea and the fact that we got to learn more about her in this chapter because it helped me to understand why it's so difficult for Laura to deal with her sister and go to the same school. Bea's reactions are certainly not the easiest to have to live with and I do feel sorry for Laura having to deal with them and calm her down - you'd think that the others in the school would have learnt not to mess with Bea by now, even if she is strange, because she's clearly great at magic!

The part when Elvira came and interrogated Laura about the dance with Sirius really made me laugh because that girl is paranoid and a little bit crazy, she's so obsessive over someone she doesn't even know properly. And Lily's got a boyfriend! I wonder how both James and Snape will take this... The final section about the holidays was interesting to read as well because we got to know more about Laura's home life and the fact that being stuck in two worlds is difficult. I like the fact she's part Welsh and you've incorporated the rugby that she supports, since it's so important in Wales!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: You know, when I first posted this story I didn't have that quote as the summary until after this chapter had been validated, so it wouldn't be a spoiler. Now it's been up for a while, though, I guess it's unavoidable that some people who haven't read it will get to this point and say, "Ah, of course." And yes, it's unfair that she gets the reputation because of Bea, but that's actually important to both her journey and also the relationship between my main pair. Now you've read it all I'm sure you see what i mean there. :D

As for Elvira, I love that girl. She's such a nutcase in that one way it's hilarious. I particularly liked the bit about her hyperventilating on the train. :) And yeah, Wales and rugby do go together, don't they? I kind of had to include that, given her half blood status.

thanks for the review!!

cheers Mel


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Review #3, by Lillylover22 

29th February 2012:
I resent that wales beat australia in rugby!! Haha. Poor laura 9/10 : )

Author's Response: Lol. I take it you're an Australian then? Well, I'm sorry, but all the rugby results in this are historically accurate, so if you check the records you'll see that Wales did indeed beat Australia just before Christmas in 1975. If it went the other way around I would certainly have had the narrative reflect that. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #4, by singer123 

12th December 2011:
For a dare??
That's embarrassing.

Author's Response: Yes, it was a dare. Why else would he even talk to her? The way things are at that school, there's no other reason she would attract his attention. And unfortunately this is rather common for boys of this age, I'm afraid to say. Oh well.

cheers, Mel


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Review #5, by classicblack 

3rd October 2011:
I love the Sirius fan club! They're so hilarious! Good job on this chapter anyway. Christmas with the family can be a bit dull, but you managed to pull it off.
Until next chapter,
classicblack

Author's Response: I'm so pleased you like the fan club - I too think they're hilarious, and so much fun to write! And yes, I understand that Christmas with the family can be a little dry, so thanks for saying that I didn't bore the pants off you. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #6, by Debra20 

18th August 2011:
Mel, you have so many things going on in a chapter that I found it hard to remember to comment on certain parts that draw my attention if I don't write them separately (that is a praise by the way :P).

I can imagine now why Sirius would fall in love with Laura, if he ever really does. I can't know this for sure because I haven't finished the story yet. But the way she reacted when she found out that he had asked her to dance only to fulfil a dare James set up (and what a dare! the least likely...hmpf!), really brought out the level of maturity she has. I like how you contrasted her from the other girls at the ball who would probably have started crying or trying to hex him or something. Also, this maturity didn't feel out of place because we know what kind of life she had, always taking care of her sister, from the previous chapters you wrote. A perfectly explained consequence of her family background experiences.

I love how at this point in the story most of the attraction Laura (and Mary) has for Sirius revolves on good looks only. They don't know each other too deeply yet to know what the other is really like, so the shallow impression Laura has of Sirius is very pertinent and common in these cases. When you witness everything someone like Sirius and James does, it's perfectly normal to consider them 'jerks' (quoting Laura :D). Of course, we know he's far from that, or better said not only that, but she doesn't. It's going to be fascinating reading about their mutual discovery.

"Same as with Sarah and Mandy, though in a different way. Not much in common." This phrase here really struck a cord. I think that more than wanting to see Sirius and Laura together, I want to see her befriends Lily, Charlotte and Martha more and more. I love them and it would be a dream come true to see all of them feeling close to each other.

Author's Response: Yes, Laura is old beyond her years in some ways, thanks to Bea and her antics. It really set her up as a character for this story, though,w hich was why I wrote her like that - it wouldn't have worked nearly so well if Bea didn't exist. :)

As for the shallow interpretation of Sirius, well you're spot on in that she hasn't bothered to get to know him (and why would she?) so she goes by outward appearances only. It's totally natural and yet another thing that needs to be overcome during the course of this story.

cheers, Mel


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Review #7, by alicia and anne 

4th August 2011:
Oh James and Sirius! how could you do that! why would they do that as a dare? Poor Laura I feel sorry for her for that.
And also for having to deal with Bea's tantrums as well, she's such a great sister to Bea, I hope Bea realises just how much.
And for dealing with the fan club! they can be so rude and pushy! I can't wait to read more about them.
Once again your writing is incredible and I am really enjoying this story.

alicia and anne
Slytherin

Author's Response: Why would they do that? Well, as I said, they're 15-16 year old boys and it doesn't occur to them that doing something like this is anything other than funny. Until they actually go through with it, of course. Not nice of them, but I think within character and certainly not unusual for boys of that age.

As for Laura, well yes, Bea is certainly a cross to be borne. And of course she doesn't realise how much Laura does for her ... she's totally ignorant of things like that. She doesn't mean ill, she's just inconsiderate. Some people are like that.

cheers, Mel


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Review #8, by girly1393 

5th June 2011:
Poor Laura, but she is exceptionally brave for taking care of Bea all the time. I love Laura, she's so kind and lovely.

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: Yeah, poor Laura. Bea is indeed a burden to her, but she bears it with good grace, simply because she's never known anything different. I am pleased that you like my heroine, though, because if you didn't there's a lot of story left to get through!! *grins*

cheers, Mel


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Review #9, by Corko 

6th May 2011:
GO DOCTOR WHO!! i luv ur story!!! x

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review!

Ah, good old Doctor Who. I was trying to think of UK television show that I knew was being shown in the 1970s and that was the first one I thought of. The fact that it's so popular now is probably just an added bonus :D

Anyway I'm glad you're enjoying the story and I hope you keep reading. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #10, by theelderwand 

19th August 2010:
It always galls me when anyone says that the later teenage years are "the best years of your life." If that turned out to be true, I think I would've found a high powered rifle and a bell tower.(just a figure of speech there, no need to call the cops! siriusly).

That said, I think you've caught the true corrosive atmosphere of life at this age quite well. Too well, in fact.

While I was truly disgusted by the dare, I can't say it doesn't fit with boys of that age. And, worse yet, from what we do know from canon of the Marauders, unfortunately, its all too believable and in character. Nonetheless, you've captured it here perfectly.

Now this got me:

"It sounded good, I thought. It sounded nice and mature and exactly the sort of thing I should say, and I should think. The trouble was, it wasn't entirely true. I wanted to be popular. I even wanted those people to like me, even if I didn't like them all that much. After all, no one wants to be ignored. However, it just wasn't my lot in life, and I had learned to accept that."

You've created a very compelling OC in Laura - not an easy thing to do. And that previous passage, pretty much sealed me being firmly in her corner and rooting for her through the rest of this tale. That, Mel, is excellent writing.

Eldy

Author's Response: The dare was never supposed to be nice, just the sort of thing that boys that age do, particularly when they're used to getting away with things. This wasn't against any school rules, they were just going to hurt someone's feelings, but as she was someone unimportant anyway what harm was there? At least, that was how I figured they would see it. Glad to see I'm not completely off there!

Of course, it's not good news for our narrator as all it does is reinforce in her that she's always going to be an outsider, as that little monologue you quoted proves. It's nice that it had the effect of getting you on her side, though - I'm not sure if that was an overt intention but I'm not complaining that it happened. :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #11, by In The Shadows I Dwell 

17th August 2010:
Once again, I don't know how many times I'm going to say this, possibly several dozen times more, amazing chapter! It's interesting how magic separates Laura from her Muggle friends despite her Mother's attempts to keep the connection there. What I find to be the most interesting thing is how well she has managed to keep them connected with the Muggle world, I'd imagine that being a rather difficult task! Those spells do also sound rather entertaining. The writing was once again superb and I look forward to reading more!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, the halfblood thing was always going to make for a complicated life. I commend Laura's mum for really making the effort to keep her kids invovled in both worlds, but she really was fighting a losing battle and she knew that. I thought it had to be covered, though, which was why this conversation made the final cut.

As for Bea's spells, well let's just say that's not the last you hear of those. She has her uses, that Beatrice. :D

cheers, Mel


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Review #12, by Capella Black 

14th August 2010:
"I think I can pretty much guarantee that nothing like that will ever happen again" - oh, please let this be dramatic irony, because this bit was just too awesome for words! I particularly liked Sirius' bit ""It killed that cat, you know," he said airily." - even when admitting to being a complete jerk he can still take time to tease. It's worrying how much I am beginning to love him and James, despite their having few truly redeeming characteristics - indeed, all your characters seem more compelling because of their flaws.

Also loved Laura's reaction to everything - slight disappointment at it being all a dare, but still mature enough to deal with it good naturedly. Still, Sirius deserves some kind of payback for this.

Can't wait to see how the next term goes, so...

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, of course that was dramatic irony or, as I thought at the time, my "Pride and Prejudice" moment. And yes, even when he's being a jerk Sirius still takes the time to joke around. It jsut seemed to be such an intrinsic part of his character, if that makes sense. As for him getting some payback - is Laura really that type?

cheers, Mel


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Review #13, by doglover 

10th August 2010:
wow she made up a lot of spells!!!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, Bea was quite a brilliant witch and she and her friends did make up a lot of spells. They were of varying potency and usefulness but she had a lovely time doing it. And Laura had to have SOME benefits of being Bea's sister, didn't she?

cheers, Mel


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Review #14, by Ginnyrocks117 

29th July 2010:
I think she should use some of the spells.
I feel bad for her. Why would he dance with her.
That sucks for her.
Loved it. :P

-Ginnyrocks117

Author's Response: I agree, it was a harsh thing to go through to have him dance with her for that reason. However, Laura's used to that sort of thing by now. It's what her life is full of. Not that this means that she didn't feel humiliated, but that it wasn't completely unexpected.

As for Bea's spells, well all I'll say is that they do have a role to play in this little drama.

cheers, Mel


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Review #15, by Twins dancer 

12th July 2010:
I adore you story! I started reading it before it was finished, but then I stopped for some reson, so I'm reading it over to the end. I can't wait to see how you end it! I love how you put that bit about Doctor Who, I love that show. Lovely writing style and good plot so far!

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review!

And welcome back! I'm very pleased that you decided to give this another go. I'm the first to admit that it's a bit slow at the start but I'm told it picks up as you go along so I hope you enjoy it.

cheers, Mel


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Review #16, by PrincessPadfoot 

26th May 2010:
“Seriously, she’s in Ravenclaw. How can someone so smart be so dumb??”

hahahahahaha Best. Line. Ever!!! I totally agree thoguh. Elvira is really really dumb, but that's what makes her fun!!

Bea is really funny. I know you don't mean her to be, but she is. I like the list of jinxes/hexes. Really super funny!!

Okay!! I think I have time for one more chapter!!

On to chapter 7!!!

Author's Response: Hi again!

I'm very pleased you liked that line, I was rather fond of it myself when I first wrote it. And so fitting for Elvira, don't you think?

As for Bea, well you're most welcome to find her funny; a lot of people do. She's an interesting character but she has her role and she plays it admirably. As for the list of hexes, well you have no idea how long it took me to come up with those - I don't feel that my imagination is very good when it comes to that sort of thing so it's fantastic that you liked it so much. Thank you!

cheers, Mel


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Review #17, by Schnatz 

26th April 2010:
Hi again!
Since I've read the sumarry of your fanfiction I was looking forward this scene where Sirius dances with Laura because James' dared him to. In this chapter the moment has finally arrived! And in the context it's even more better! :)
I think, in secret Laura has a little crush on Sirius by now. I am excited when and how they'll converge.
Bye for now, perhaps I'll write the next review this evening,
Schnatz :)

Author's Response: Hi again!

Oh, you're up to that chapter now, are you? I don't like having a quote as the summary unless it comes in reasonably early in the story, so yes, this was where that one pops up. I'm glad you liked the context for it - though I don't think Laura has a thing for Sirius just yet, whether she realises it or not. Give that one some time. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #18, by Clarebear *random chick* 

25th February 2010:
I HAVE BEEN READIN THIS FOR AWHILE NOW AND THINK IT'S AWESOME SO IM GOING TO REVIEW. AUSTRALIA RULES! WHAT RUGBY???
AND SO DOES DOCORT WHO!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks for the review!

Hmm, do I take it you're Australian? There are a few Australians on this site, I've noticed. And I'm sorry but historically, Wales DID hammer Australia in the rugby that weekend so that's why your country got a mention. You're most welcome to ignore that though. :)

Aside from that, I'm so pleased that you like my story so much, that's so flattering. Thank you! *beams*'

cheers, Mel


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Review #19, by mizzxpearl 

17th February 2010:
Hey! I was just rereading some of my favorite parts from your story and saw this one. I really think this chapter should have more reviews, it's my favorite! Well, besides from 'Snowballing' - nothing beats that chapter. ;)

It's so amazing how all your characters have changed so much! (Not charactersations, but the characters themselves) It's nice to go back and read when the times were so different. :D

Author's Response: Hi again! thanks for the review!

Yes, this chapter doesn't have heaps of reviews, but then again when it first came out there weren't a lot of people reading this story so that's to be expected, I think. It was only after the Dobby that things really started to take off with that. Having said that, I too think this is one of the better, stronger chapters, and I'm very fond of it all told.

And thank you for the compliment about characterisation! I thought it was important to show the maturing of my characters, considering they're 15 at the start of this story and 18 at the end of it, and most people change a reasonable amount in that time. So to have you saying I've pulled that off really does make my day.

cheers, Mel


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Review #20, by Ronsgirl29 

10th January 2010:
I'm glad that she got to talk with sirius! but that was a total douchebag thing for him to do and ask her on a dare. It's kind of sad that she feels lonely, i wish her sister could at least be a little normal, that way she could have more friends. I hope she ends up being better friends with lily and them. Great job as usual! 10/10

Author's Response: Hi again!

Hmm, well, yes, I guess it was a "total douchebag" thing for him to do, but then again he's a 16 year old boy who's just having a bit of fun with his mates. I tried to get the impression across though that until he actually told her about the dare (on her guess, of course, he wouldn't have mentioned it otherwise), he hadn't realised the effect his actions could have on other people.

As for Laura, well that's her life and she's come to terms with that fact. However, Bea does graduate at the end of Laura's fifth year so that might open up some opportunities for her, so to speak.

cheers, Mel


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Review #21, by ochalke5 

3rd January 2010:
Well, that was interesting wasn't it? I still feel like even though Sirius said it was a dare... i feel like it was something different to him... perhaps a reason for him to talk to her... or maybe it gives him a reason to keep talking to her. Whatever the reason it has provked a lot of question. Great chatper. Top work, mate.
10/10
Natalie

Author's Response: Hi again!

Ah, the dance. I hate to disappoint you but it was in fact a dare - Sirius was being quite genuine there. And his remorse was genuine, as well - he was realising that their pranks could actually impact other people, which he'd been a bit self-obsessed to realise before.

Anyway I'm really pleased that you liked the chapter and I hope you continue to read my story. :)

cheers, Mel


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Review #22, by WeCunningFolksUseAnyMeans 

3rd January 2010:
lovee iitt :) great story so far. loved the ball!!

Author's Response: Hi there! Great to see you again!

First of all I'd like to apologise for moving chapters around on you when you were in the middle of reading them, but as I think I said when you started reviewing I wasn't happy with the early chapters so they had a bit of a rehash in the interim.

Anyway. Glad you liked the ball! I was rather keen on that scene myself (which you probably guessed considering I used a quote from it as my story summary). Now all I have to do is hope you continue to enjoy what's to come.

cheers, Mel


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Review #23, by make you want it 

29th October 2009:
I must say I am glad you didn't put Lilly in the green. Everyone puts Lilly in a green dress if theres a ball.

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, the green dress on Lily does seem just a little bit too cliched, doesn't it? I wanted to avoid that - the ball itself is enough of a cliche without putting Lily in something "the exact same colour as her eyes", as it always seems to be. I'm glad you picked that up!

cheers, Mel


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Review #24, by MYHEART BELONGS TO WOOD 

7th October 2009:
I still dont understand why she would be the last person Sirius would dance with. I am not seeing her as that horrible. I still dont think she realizes how pretty she is. Maybe I a missing something? Another good chapter!

Author's Response: Okay, the ball. The least likely thing is nothing to do with Laura and everything to do with Beatrice. She's tainted by association. And James and Sirius have never really seen her as her own person, only as Beatrice Cauldwell's sister, so that's why she was chosen. So yeah, nothing to do with her being horrible or anything (because she's not) but because of who her sister is. I did try to get that out but it mustn't have been clear enough. *shakes head at herself*

Thanks for persevering though!

cheers, Mel


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Review #25, by pinaygrl3123 

25th September 2009:
Oh, I never thought the moment from the summary would show up in this chapter. I was expecting when they were in their seventh year or something. Ha. But yeah, for a bit I forgot that Bea existed, you know. Oops. But that's fine.. I would hate to always be associated with a brother or sister. But that was a pretty interesting dance with Sirius and Laura.. definitely something that could be the start of something, can't wait to see this all play outt. :) :) :)

Author's Response: Ah, I'm rather fond of this chapter. And I didn't want to put a quote in the summary until the chapter it was from was up, so this wasn't my initial summary but it does seem to be an effective one. But yeah, Bea is a pretty big influence in Laura's life right now, and like you she's not that keen on that as a concept. However there's not much she can do about it and she's never known any different so she just deals with it.

I'm glad you liked the dance and I hope you keep on enjoying the way the story plays out.

cheers, Mel


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