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13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by girly1393 

10th May 2011:
Go Lily! I'd thought her very flighty and fairly useless in the real world until just now. Although, that is the first thing I feel she's done to contribute to her safety. She is a Muggleborn after all.

Bravo to you.

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Review #2, by spangles 

14th February 2010:
Cliffie! Wow, the Daily Prophet is about as exciting as it can get now, isn't it? Sorry for the short review, I'm impaitent, I just want to find out what happens!! 10/10 of course.

Author's Response: LOL. Impatience is probably a good thing when it comes to fanfiction. At least it is good enough to elicit that in you, so I certainly don't mind :) Short reviews are better than no reviews.

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Review #3, by Casey 

21st January 2010:
Ah I really like Dorcas, its a shame that she dies, it would have been interesting if she survived to see the Second War. I was surprised that they would allow someone to perform Legilimency on them, I would have never let anyone inside of my head. I wonder how Caradoc felt when he saw Sirius's memories and whether it brought a greater understanding to him. I really love the section with Lily, she's almost like how I imagined her. Its great that she was able to notice something was off, I don't think alot of people would have.

Author's Response: I like her, too, and I've been trying to think of a reason for Dumbledore to kill her personally. She must have been rather awesome. As for Legilimency, does that really surprise you? Hmm. I didn't think it was a big deal, it was done to Harry after all, and how can they learn to fight it if they don't get the practise? I think it did bring more understanding to Caradoc, though he never had a problem with Sirius in the first place. It probably just gave him something to think about.

Glad you liked Lily, this was my first time really writing her and trying to get her character, and I still don't know if I like it or not, even all these months later lol.


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Review #4, by Achesre 

10th November 2009:
I love Dorcas Meadowes constant thoughts of wanting to be anywhere but there and yet she still stayed. You really get the sense that she isn't a people person at all but I like her as a character. I wish there were more stories about her out there.

Its also funny how Harry is the name of someone where Lily might work and its her future son's name. Always find it fascinating when someone puts that in there. AND OMG I CANT BELIEVE HER BOSS TRIED TO IMPERIO HER! But it is typical considering its a time of war. :P

Author's Response: Yes! I kind of didn't want her to be a people person, I wanted her to be a tough woman with a huge sense of duty. I see a lot of people characterize her as a fellow student of the Marauders at Hogwarts, or as a lover of Sirius at times. That's okay, but that's not really how I had imagined her when her name was first mentioned. I'm glad you picked up on that, you're hte first to really comment on her.

I feel a little name about putting Harry's name in. So many people do it lol. it's kind of cliche, BUT, I also kind of have a hard time thinking a young couple such as Lily and James would go for such an old fashioned name. You know how young people are, always trying to be hip lol. So I figure he MUST have been named after somebody, who really likes the name Harry, after all? Too many 'hairy' puns, etc.


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Review #5, by InvisibleWitch19 

26th September 2009:
Well, it took me a bit long to read and review the next chapter but I'm here again! And my review is longer than before because I get these sugar rushes that make me ramble on in reviews sometimes...

The start of this chapter was great; I love how it showed the Marauders coping with Order work. The Occlumency part was exciting; I love how James wanted to be first. Too bad for Sirius, though, he didn't enjoy it much. Grimmauld Place really does hold bad memories for him, huh?

It's sad that Lily works at the lying Daily Prophet but seriously, she needs to quit. Yes, I know it's her dream to write or something but I do hope she's alright! Her thoughts at the start of her perspective were nice, too. She's starting to think about marrying James!

And her friend at the paper is named 'Harry'. Is that a simple coincidence? Yes, I know, many people in the world are named Harry but I have a nagging feeling this guy is the reason for the famous Harry Potter's name. And he does not know it yet... LOL.

I like how you really show Voldemort's increasing strength in the wizarding world. The Order working harder, the Prophet hushing things up, and the rest of the magical population getting a bit scared are good signs to show this.

Keep up the brilliant work!! :)

-Bree-

Author's Response: That's okay, it's been a busy couple of days, so it took me a while to respond. Long reviews make me happy :) Sugar rush more!

I am glad you liked this chapter, it is one that I have been unsure of for a long time. I think my issue with it is the sudden POV change, where everything so far has been focused on the Marauders and suddenly its all Lily.

James, always the leader, would definitely want to go first!!! I'm glad you noticed. And I'm also glad you liked the Occlumency part, I'm trying to include as much info and little scenes as possible so as to keep things realistic. My fear is that these might sometimes be boring, so it's nice to hear that you found this one enjoyable :)

You'll find out what happens to Lily in the next chapter, but really, if you were attacked by your boss, would you stick around?? Haha. I think going to the Longbottom wedding really brought out a lot of those thoughts on marriage, and I'm glad you liked it.

Originally his name was Henry. I don't know, I am still thinking of changing it back to Henry. I personally don't like the name Harry, and I figure James and Lily at that age wouldn't like it much either. I don't know anyone at age 20 who would name a child Harry, you know? So part of me thinks that there must have been a reason for the name, that he was named after somebody as so many others in fandom have done before. So you are right there. Unfortunately, this Harry won't be making another appearance. But for what it was worth, he was Lily's first and closest friend (outside of James and the Marauders) once she broke it off with Snape, and she never saw him again but it was he who warned her (and saved her, in a way), I think she's the type to want to honour his memory even if he'll never know.

I do work hard to show the darkness outside of the Marauders' little circle :) I'm glad you like it, I've been trying to make things dark!


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Review #6, by shadowycorner 

24th July 2009:
I knew it! And I'm so pleased that Lily is capable of protecting herself. The entire sequence at the Daily Prophet office was very well-written, to the point, interesting and it had Harry. i like Harry and I like his name and I'm wondering he'll kick the bucket one way or another by the time this novel will be over, and that makes me a little sad.

One was Sirius Black, who was the only one who wanted nothing from her, but understood her better than she understood herself. That's such a wonderful explanation of the connection Sirius and Lily must've had.

I also liked the beginning with Dorcas Meadows. I love how you pull all these members of the Order into the stories, along with other names, Edgar Bones and I can't wait for the appearance of Marlene McKinnon because she along with Edgar and Dorcas are, for an unknown reason, my favorite Order members (I might be just biased, having them in my own story)...the way these Order members teach them things is probably exactly the way it really happened. Naturally they couldn't just be excellent at Order work after just getting out of school.

This story seems to me to be really amazing in all ways.

Author's Response: Of course she can :D I'm trying to make the fact that she was good at Charms actually be useful for something in this story! I'm glad you enjoyed the Daily Prophet parts, I felt a little out of my element as I usually just stick to the Marauders. Harry's a lot of fun, though you really don't see him other than this. You'll have to wait to see about him "kicking the bucket" though.

I loved Sirius and Lily, I think they could have been really great friends. If she could be such good friends with somebody like Snape, I think Sirius would be right up her alley. I'm glad you think so too and enjoyed that line.

I've been making a real effort to include the Order members in this story. It tickles me each time somebody mentions them because it was hard work to get them in here! I don't yet have much going for Edgar (I'll be working on him though in future chapters) and... well, I feel quite bad for what I've done to Marlene now that you said that. I didn't know you had a Marauder era story that included these Order members - now I'm going to have to check it out along with Memory Dust. I am so slow! Between validating and reading a few other stories and watching the forums and I have a child... gah! I will get there, I promise.

Thank you for understanding their training process, I've felt so torn because I feel like the story progresses too slowly, but that stuff had to happen!

That last line is simply wonderful. I've really been hoping that people can take as much out of reading it as I've put into writing it. Thanks so much for the wonderful review.


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Review #7, by Dellacqua 

14th July 2009:
I have returned! Great start to this chapter, I love the way you keep the reader up to date with everything I feel exactly if I know their every thought feeling as well as everything that is going on around them. I can feel the boysí frustration over not being given anything solid to do yet, not having their hero moment, but itís fantastic to see the Order being so successful thus far. Once again Iím a bit teary thinking about how all of the members of the Order will eventually end up, itís so sad to think of their futures when they all have so much energy and life in them fighting for their cause.

I loved how James volunteered first, thatís just him all over Ė so eager to succeed at everything he does and lead the others in that success. I canít imagine ever doing anything like clearing my mind, Iím really awful at it I always think of something every time, not once have I ever been able to find any inner calm!

I feel so sorry for Sirius, regardless of where he is in his life now memories of the past must plague him. I can only imagine how awful it must have been for him to return to Grimmauld Place all those years later. I think you created Siriusí bitterness so well, I can see so clearly how your Sirius led to J.Kís Sirius Ė desperate to escape from Grimmauld Place and fight after being cooped up like an animal for so long. It must have not only been being unable to help but also being stuck in that palce which held so many awful memories for him.

I LOVE that youíve put in some Lily perspective, I was thinking just as I was reading the start of this story what Lily was doing and how she was getting on at the Prophet so itís great to see first hand. That was such a beautiful little section I really enjoyed it, the innocence of Lilyís wedding thoughts interspersed with the hate she has for the paper and how her dream has been spoiled. But Iím glad sheís staying there, I think youíre exactly right to keep her there. For some reason I just feel like she would stick with it and try to change things from the inside rather than quite and be left with nothing.

SHEíS GOT A BEST FRIEND CALLED HARRY. Coincidence?. :D I hope not. Thatís brilliant, if that was your intention to imply maybe she and James named baby Harry after him then that was a lovely idea, I really like it!

I love how youíre showing not just the effect of Voldemort on the world as a whole but also on the smaller more personal things like work/businesses. I feel so sorry for Lily having had so many dreams when she left Hogwarts which have to be on hold in the current atmosphere. Things are obviously going the same way as during the second war Ė nothing being printed of any actual importance just general rubbish to cover up what is really going on. Itís great to get an insight on that process which obviously we didnít get in the HP series.

Oh blimey this is getting tense! All of the employees becoming so rigid and robotic, then Harry becoming the same! BLIMEY, Ok as you may have guessed I just finished the chapter. BRILLIANT END, Iíve blatantly got to read the next one now. Iím so glad Lily gets to use the talent sheís got and learned from Hogwarts even in such a shoddy job. I canít wait to see what happens next!

Author's Response: I definitely know how you feel about the Order members. Now that the story is getting into 1979 (ch19) the deaths are going to be starting soon. Im not looking forward to writing it at all!.

Yep, James goes first! As you said, hes such a leader :D I cant imagine clearing my mind either. Fail. Id be sitting there stressing about how bad it was going to be or how personal the thoughts would get and wouldnt be able to concentrate on not concentrating at all.

Poor Sirius! I feel so bad for him in Grimmauld. His life must have been unimaginable. Not only spendng all that time in Azkaban, but after losing the only family hes ever had as well. I dont know what he even had to live for; he couldnt have felt like he was doing Harry any good when he was trapped in his parents house.

Yes, I\\\'ve been meaning Lily to be in this story for a good part as well, but with all the Order stuff, I havent had much time for her. As you now know, shes joined the Order in the next chapter, so you should be seeing her a decent bit more now because she is actually a part of things.

Rofl. Ive always hated the name Harry, and I figured there was no way in hell a young couple would name a child Harry unless he was named after somebody. But I didnt want to do the usual Mr Potters name is Harry thing. Or Mr Evans is Harry. I wanted something a little different.

This Harry is (aside from James) Lilys closest friend after losing Snape. I never really got into it, but perhaps through edits that can be more clear in the future. But I think hed have been very dear to her for being her friend and hers alone (not James friends.) She never really sees him again after this, but she never forgets him. It is his warning that saved her here.

Yay, you liked it! This was one chapter I was worried about possible being too out there for people to enjoy. Ive been worried about it fitting in.


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Review #8, by Moonylupin 

6th June 2009:
Good, Lily knew what was coming! I knew it when Harry first mentioned that Liandra woman and then he came out acting all funny. Speaking of Harry, I've got an idea about why Lily has a friend named Harry... he seems sweet. Oh Lily's already planning her wedding, James needs to get with the times and realize it's almost time to pop the question. I can't wait to read when they get married. I loved how you put in that she would plan her own wedding when she was younger, but the groom had no face until now. Something about that just struck me for some reason. So, as for the Daily Prophet boss, I guess he's employed by the lovely Voldemort? Otherwise I can't see why he would be putting his employees under the Imperius Curse. And, just thought of this now, Lily hates Rita Skeeter! Can't blame her, she'd really hate the woman if she was able to see what Rita wrote about her future son. Excellent chapter!

Author's Response: Lily's a smart girl :) Originally Harry's name was Henry. But then i went ahead and decided to give him Harry's name. I have a hard time seeing two twenty year old new parents naming their child a name such as Harry. I figure they must have named him for somebody! A lot of people do.

Lily is in the wedding mood after going to Frank and Alice's! I've tried to make Lily the typical 18 year old - just at that age when they start feeling the pull to get married and have children, despite being young. She's spent a lot of time as an 8 year old dreaming of her wedding, and now 10 years later she's anxious for it to come! She's so in love :)

You'll find out (I hope you can tell, because its not outright said) what's up with the boss in the next chapter. If you can't, that's all right, because it will come into play again in the future and you'll know for sure then (though its a long way off).

I'm glad you liked this chapter, it was one I was always a little more unsure of (probably because it suddenly gets away from the story so far and focuses on Lily). Thank you for the fantastic review :)


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Review #9, by rachm34 

28th January 2009:
ohhh I love the little bit about Harry! I can't wait to read on. This probably is one of my favourite chapters of them all! You are doing a really great job with this story!

Author's Response: Well, that makes me happy! I hated this chapter for a long time, and it has gone through a lot of edits already! It's the first real 'action' chapter (even though the action is minimal) and the first chapter where anything dark happens to any of them. I really stressed over this one!

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Review #10, by Labby 

27th January 2009:
Good thing Lily was prepared. Voldemort has most definitely taken over there. I love the introduction of Harry.. getting a bit of foreshadowing just knowing his name, as I assume that's an inspiration for Lily. Poor guy, but at least he was able to warn Lily before going in to see the guy. Great chapter!

Author's Response: Yes, Voldemort is trying to do his work on the news sources!

Originally that oc's name was Henry, but (even though it's a little cliche) I decided to change it to Harry. He's already proved his worth to Lily, as his warnings are practically what saved her, and I think she'd want to honor him a little in the future. Plus, he's been her first real friend, apart from the Marauders.

I know its soppy... lol. :P I couldn't resist.


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Review #11, by SunnyRae 

4th December 2008:
Dun dun duuun!

Lily should get out of there, leave like James did. I mean who would blame her, or question her when she tells others why she quit was because her boss was too controlling? XP Perfectly understandable, right?

Eagerly waiting chapter 10!!
Sunny

Author's Response: Well of course you know she's going to! she was in the Order too! :D I can't comment much on this chapter because it comes into play later on in the story. But I'm glad you liked it (ugh, it still needs to be edited!) and the next 3 are already written, so.. just trying to space them out! expect an update in a few days!

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Review #12, by the__5th__marauder 

1st December 2008:
I love the cliff hanger in this chapter. You've built it up very well, Lily might be paranoid wondering how James is but readers are paranoid about whats going to happen to Lily


Lily pulled her wand out and, hating herself for it, cast a nonverbal Muffliato around them. Sheíd never been fond of the spell the Marauders had used in school to chat through classes - even her old friend, Severus Snape, used it when conversing with his fellow Voldemort lovers. But in times like these, one could never be too safe, and in spite of herself Lily had to admit the spell was a useful one.


I was just reading the seventh book last night and Hermione uses the Muffliato spell when she has said how much she hates it in the sixth book. But she agrees times have changed and it was something really useful.

I know its a small similarity to pick up on and the only reason I did was because I've just read that part of the book and I was wondering if you picture Lily to be a bit like Hermione ?

It's just that you described Lily as having exactly the same view about the muffliato spell as Hermione did when it was used in class.


Getting closer to new chapters ! ! 10/10

Author's Response: Glad you liked it, I still need to edit this one. I'm afraid that, since I havent had to write anything while I was reposting this story, I've allowed myself to become lazy :P

I suppose I do picture her to be like Hermione, but not intentionally. It's hard not to - she obviously follows rules, judging by how she stuck up for Snape, by how she hates James's rule breaking and bullying, and the fact that she became Head Girl. At the same time... this is the girl that Petunia said came home with frog spawn in her pockets. She DID marry James, she obviously likes to have fun too. And, once she loosened up, so did Hermione. But I didn't intentionally do the muffliato thing to mimick Hermione, in fact, I wasn't even aware of that ^.^ I just figured Lily wouldnt like any spell that allowed the Marauders to carry on during classes unnoticed.


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Review #13, by auror_snape 

30th November 2008:
Yikes! She came within a hair of being a statistic!

Author's Response: yep, and hopefully this will work in my favor in the future chapters ^.^

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