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15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Sushmita 

10th November 2016:
Ur attention to detail is great, but the story has been a drag so far. I hope the pace picks up after this or I might have to give up on this story.

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Review #2, by girly1393 

10th May 2011:
So they're still going through Auror training, even though they're not Aurors? Man, that'd kind of stink.

Bravo to you.

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Review #3, by Arek 

20th March 2010:
Great story! The twins make me think if Fred and George. Once again, great story!
10/10
Cheers,
Arek

Author's Response: hehe thanks. I suppose I do write Gideon and Fabian with Fred and George in mind - although Fabian is quite a lot more serious than Gideon (and his nephews). Thanks for the review, I am glad you're enjoying it!

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Review #4, by spangles 

14th February 2010:
The signs the Order used to note that people had been there- particularily the spiders web- were brillant. I absolutely love this story, no wonder it won two Dobbys. (:

Author's Response: Thanks! I had a lot of fun writing that scene initially, with teaching them to track. Now I've just been trying to brainstorm a time for them to use that information so it doesn't look pointless. Anyway, I need to rewrite that section - when I reread it, it seems juvenile, ugh!

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Review #5, by Casey 

21st January 2010:
I felt happy for Peter for a brief second. The wedding was beautiful although you can tell they're all half-scared in case something might happen. James's mother's banter about the shoes reminded of my bff's mother and me, its the exact same way. Lol. I thought Remus's father was named John? :S Or are they both called John then.

I do like James's father though, he seems like a nice person, you know, someone who you can count on in dark times.

Author's Response: Glad you were happy for Peter, I really don't think he was that bad of a person (though I'm struggling to find room for him in my fic). Weddings are so hard to write without making them boring lol. I am glad you enjoyed this one, and you're right, they're definitely watching their backs.

The shoe banter, it's funny it reminds you of yourself. I wrote that thinking of my mother in law shouting at my husband to take his shoes off. She is a cleaning nut lol. I always took mine off, and he never took his off, and she would have a cow.

James's father is like a rock. He's really smart and really rigid about some things, but he's got a lot of experience under his belt.


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Review #6, by InvisibleWitch19 

24th September 2009:
This was an excellent chapter. Haha, I LOLed when Sirius read his tea. Divination makes me laugh and I don't know why. Anyway, I like how you made Peter as Alice's ex-boyfriend and that he couldn't go to the wedding because of that. Well, he had a valid reason, right? The wedding was cool and it was funny when they were with Gideon and Fabian; it makes Fred and George really show they're related to them, being Molly's brothers, I think.

I'm still contemplating about James and Lily's wedding but I do believe the small wedding because of Voldemort thing is quite reasonable. I also liked it when James and Sirius went to the Potters. It really showed how they are like parents to the two friends and I laughed at the shoes thing.

The part when Gideon and Fabian went to the Marauders early in the morning was funny. At first, I thought Sirius was almost dead for sure when suddenly, the two brothers revealed that they weren't Death Eaters. Haha, I was so surprised then. I'm wondering what Dumbledore has in store for the Marauders, as the twins had said at the end of the chapter...

Keep up the brilliant work with the awesome chapters!!

-Bree-

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked this chapter! I was initially dreading it because I don't do well with writing formal events such as weddings, but once I decided to do a different take on it (focus on the audience - the Prewetts - more than the bride and groom) it was surprisingly fun to do.

Divination is pretty much a big waste of time. However, I feel that the Black family might embrace everything to do with magic, being pureblood, and I figured it might be habit for Sirius even if he finds it all to be ridiculous. I wanted to give Peter something... that would make him appear "wanted" and not like a big loser. So here is his school girlfriend, and he did quite well for himself considering she was 2 years older! I'm hoping this will also give a small push into his betrayal.

I think a small wedding will be great for James and Lily. On the one hand, James loves being the centre of attention and I could see them with a huge wedding. But realistically, given the times, I think it really does need to be kept small. I really enjoyed writing the Potter family and exploring and characterising James's parents. I'm glad you could see their acceptance of Sirius. They definitely consider him their son.

I was hoping to give readers a small scare there with G and F :) I'm glad it worked haha. There's not a whole lot in store for them aside from their training and everything, but that isn't exactly going to involve pleasant things.

Thank you for this beautiful review.


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Review #7, by shadowycorner 

23rd July 2009:
I wish I could have all this bound in a book and read it in some warm soft corner of my room, not hunched over the computer. It's so enjoyable, so real and it has the wonderful essence Harry Potter books had when i was reading them. Slowly it shows just why Peter might turn against his friends. These little signs of ignorance and disinterest can realy build up as they progress.

I loved the line you had in your chapter summary, the one where James asked Lily whether she was implying marrying him. It made me laugh and smile and it was just lovely. Even the wedding was lovely. So quiet and small, proving that it's taking place in a dark time, but it was nice that in this dark time some people are still making some happiness in their lives.

I adored Gideon and Fabian in this chapter. I am realy trying to find out more and more about them since they'll play a similiar role in my upcoming novel and this one was great. I always thought they would be like this, hilarious and mischievous, but brave and daring, a little older, guiding the younger members of the Order, so the last scene was perfect. I also really liked the little detail of James not speaking up for Sirius's sake.

A wonderful chapter.

Author's Response: I know. By the time this monster is finished, I'll be wishing it was bound in a book, too. It'll be quite the accomplishment :D I'm glad it has that Harry Potter essence, for nothing is worse when reading fanfic than not being able to recognise the very stories that started it all. I do agree with you about Peter - the little things do build do.

Haha, I chose that line for the summary in the hopes of tricking readers into thinking it James/Lily's wedding. Haha. I'm glad you liked it though, it's fun to have a little playful banter between them after all they've been through in Hogwarts. The wedding was fun to write - I was worried about writing it but Gideon and Fabian made it interesting.

I'm so glad you liked them, I think they are fantastic (not that we know anything about them.) I can't wait to get to write about them more, although I must admit I'm having some trouble trying to tell the Marauders' story and still having room for other Order members as well! The last scenes were fun to write, although I worried they wouldn't be fitting for this chapter. Anyway, James is a great friend, eh??

I certainly appreciate you coming back to read this :D


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Review #8, by Dellacqua 

14th July 2009:
Hello, hello, hello. Iíve [finally] found a small window of time aside from hanging out washing, buying flour and making birthday cakes! So I thought Iíd drop by and review! Iíve finally also been allowed by my angry computer to reply to your reviews!

Well for a start this is the perfect chapter to read right now, as I mentioned Iím currently making a birthday cake so Iím feeling thoroughly in the birthday spirit! I love how you characterise Peter, I think you give him a whole other dimension I never really see Ė there being so few fics that cover any of Peterís perspective. I loved his excitement over finally getting his inheritance and I fully sympathise with his disappointment over the Marauders celebrating without him and being forced to stay with his family, heís been waiting for this moment for so long and now itís ruined.

I think this is easily the first time Iíve ever felt sympathy for Peterís character, but I donít think you can help it seeing all these little factors which keep building up around him and spoiling even the most simple pleasures.

I love the atmosphere in this chapter, that sense of impending dread really and knowing that something back is going to happen you show it really well through the reactions of the Marauderís and Lily as well as your descriptions. I love as well the parallels between this chapter and the beginning of DH, having a wedding, a celebration, in the midst of Voldemortís rise. You wrote that contrast between the emotions really well with everybody wanting to enjoy themselves and be happy about a positive event but still having to have protective spells and only a small gathering to avoid attention.

Iím enjoying how youíre building on Peterís personality by having this past history with Alice, giving little hints as to why he turns against certain people. I think it works really well and it shows gradually how his attitudes Ė and eventually allegiances Ė will change for the worse, avoiding that ďPeter turning evil at the drop of a hatĒ idea so many people use badly.

The wedding was brilliant, I love how you had Gideon and Fabian giving the humour to the scene, it meant you werenít just commentating on the ceremony itself but there was a lot more going on which made it really interesting. Lily and Jamesí wedding talk at the end of that section was great, I especially liked their last bit of dialogue. Itís so reminiscent of the way they were at school.

James and Siriusí interaction with Jamesí parents is absolutely lovely, I really enjoyed that bit because they were all so warm and comfortable with each other. I also like how, as ever, you are keeping so well to canon, not slipping into the whole ďJamesí parents murdered by VoldemortĒ thing. Itís so sad seeing them so frail and elderly, knowing they Ė especially Jamesí father Ė used to be such strong people. I also thought it was sad how John Potter had got so many award, which were never passed down through the family. Those kind of things from your ancestors would have been amazing for Harry to know just a tiny amount of information about his grandparents.

The scene with James and Sirius telling the Potterís about joining the Order was absolutely perfect, their reactions are just as I imagined them and their characterisation is spot on in my eyes. I enjoyed the way you set it up with James and Sirius both being there, it did feel exactly as if they were brothers; Sirius was Mr and Mrs Potterís son as much as James was.
Ooh things are hotting up! Their first Order mission with Fabian and Gideon, this should be excellent :) I like how youíve portrayed the twins, theyíre just a bit of humour amongst the danger and fear in the air Ė much like their...nephews(?) later.

That was a really great end to the chapter, I really enjoyed their little adventure! I canít wait to see what Dumbledore has in store for them now!

Author's Response: I have to admit... I love Peter to death. I dont know why, and I never liked him until I started writing him. I think theres something in him that is in all of us. Fear, perhaps, that the other Marauders dont show. Of rejection, or being left out, or never being good enough. Plus his sarcastic comments are a lot of fun. Im glad you felt sympathy, because it means you are relating to him too.

Im glad you can see some parallels with DH. DH is a great inspiration for this fic - JKR did a great job with the atmosphere as well. Im trying to make this a bit different from what she did, but Ive been hoping that underlying fear is still there.

I think Alice is a kind enough person to see past Peters looks and really give him a chance. As he is shadowed by his friends, shes probably the only girl who ever really gave hima chance. I think itd have been a hard blow to lose her to Frank, and as you said, it might make his decisions in the future a bit easier to understand.

I hate writing weddings. So boring! I dont understand why people love them so much, because I cant stand them. Im glad you enjoyed the antics of G and F and found they made things more interesting. Some people get disappointed when theyre cheated out of a wedding scene, but I liked it better this way. And a little G and F characterisation gets slipped in too.

Lily and James at the end was a blast to write.

I LOVE the Potters. Theyre loosley based on my husbands grandparents (especially John). Hes always like \\\"I bet Im the most handome guy youve ever seen. What are you doing with him?\\\" And then he breaks my hand and gives me a dirty look, which I gracefully return before he smiles again. Im really glad you enjoyed them. I wish I could fit in more time for them.

And I agree, Sirius is their son too. its never occurred to me to have him treated as just a guest - hes always been equal to James in that house. I dont think theyd leave him out of any family business.

The last bit was a new edition, as Ive said, Im trying to get the Order members more involved in the story. glad you liked it!





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Review #9, by Moonylupin 

4th June 2009:
They're still reading tea leaves... stupid Divination. That was an interesting little detail that you added in about Alice being Peter's girlfriend at one point, I wouldn't blame him for not wanting to go to the wedding (even though he did have an excuse). I have Peter's birthday in August as well, probably making him the youngest of his class too. I felt happy for him that he could finally move out, but then at the same time knowing this just brings him closer to betraying his friends. The wedding sounded nice and it was funny to have them sitting with Gideon and Fabian, who are just like Fred and George, cracking jokes at everything. The idea of a small wedding because of Voldemort made a lot of sense. I wonder if Lily and James will end up having the big wedding Lily wants. Sirius and James's interaction with the Potters was great. It makes sense that Sirius would remember doing the little things like taking his shoes off and James wouldn't. Sirius had been a guest there first before becoming family, he would probably try harder to remember those things. I loved James putting his shoes on the counter. Poor Mrs. Potter, I think her feelings were well placed, but she'll understand why they're doing it, I hope. Excellent chapter!

Author's Response: hehe. Well, plus Sirius was brought up in such an extreme pureblood family that I feel like he'd have always been raised to embrace all parts of the magical world. I think he might have been reading tea leaves by private tudor as a young boy or something, even before Hogwarts. But at any rate, it's just a habit he has to check them every time he has tea. Why not, when they are right there?

I liked having Alice be Peter's girlfriend. For one, I want Peter to have dated in school too. And a plus for him, he actually snagged a girl two years older than him in Alice ^.^ And Alice seems like the sweet kind of girl that wouldn't be really judgemental or anything just because he's not as cool as his friends. I'll tell you a secret, too, I liked it for the future. The prophecy was also about the Longbottoms and I think that and his past with them could be the straw that broke the camel's back, so to say. Just one more thing to convince him to go to Voldemort. I've got the entire betrayal planned and I'm so far away from writing it! But I'm looking forward to it, and I don't think it's going to be like anyone ever imagined.

Sorry for the ramble on Peter.

I can't wait to write more of Gideon and Fabian, but probably won't get to until I start getting into full fledged wars involving all of the Order. Or when the story is done, it would be nice to go back through these early chapters and edit some extras in that I didn't include the first time. I'm trying to include everything I can think of, which is overwhelming, and I forget some of the small things that could happen.

I don't think I'm going to give them a big wedding. Although I'm sure a lot of their former classmates would go, I think they'd want to keep it more personal. It is a war, after all, and by that time I think they'd both be feeling particularly close to loved ones and not care so much about (in James's case) popularity or being the center of attention, etc.

I love writing James's parents - this is the first chapter they appear in, I think, and they were a lot of fun. I feel bad for Mrs Potter too - in your story Mr Potter is a healer, but in mine he was an Auror, and she's already lived a lifetime of worry, and now her son and adopted son are going in.

Anyway, I think I've blabbed quite enough. I still have more to say about your review XD But I should cut it short before I scare you away.



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Review #10, by rachm34 

28th January 2009:
Sirius seemed so uncomfortable about the wedding and I really like that. I feel as that captures him perfectly in character. I feel maybe he thinks almost that he is loosing James a bit as a marauder. I don't know if that's how you want your readers to get that. Or not... haha.

Wonderful chapter again!

Author's Response: Yep! It's definitely a characterization thing for Sirius. Mostly I had intended him to hate it because he grew up dressing nice and acting formal and things like that. But I really like your idea that weddings aren't really his thing because he sees James slipping away. I have to admit the thought hadn't occurred to me, but I really like it, and I'm glad it occurred to you while reading this.

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Review #11, by Labby 

25th January 2009:
I love Sirius's uncomfortableness at the wedding.. it seems so like him. All of the characterization of the Marauders is great.. I especially love how you subtly show how Peter's most assuradly the fourth Marauder the last of the group like by having James say he can't remember Peter's address. The Potter parents seem really nice and I'm glad you made them like that. And it's sad that they're getting old, but it's obvious how much they love James and even Sirius, crying about their possible danger. If they only knew. Great chapter!

Author's Response: I can't really see Sirius enjoying such formal things after the way he grew up! I'm glad you agree that it's not like him. I love doing characterization, thanks so much for the compliment.

I do try to make sure Peter is included in this story (he shows up a little more in my more recent chapters, though) and at the same time, show that he does feel left out all the same. But as you said, it's subtle, and his friends don't notice.

I love writing James's parents :) I'm glad you enjoyed them. It will be a sad day when they die, I don't like them getting old (and neither does James lol) but I guess they've got to go before James and Lily do (or else I'd think they'd want visitation, at least, with Harry).


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Review #12, by the__5th__marauder 

27th November 2008:
Poor Mrs Potter, she's such a lovely lady and she's terrified of losing her boys.

I found the bit when Lily was talking about weddings amusing, especially when she asked James what he thought.

Mr Potter's handshakes were fun too. Basically I really loved James family. =]

Is there going to be a chapter when Lily meets James' parents as well?

Nice chapter, the writing was great.

Author's Response: Yes she is! I can't say I'd blame her for the way she reacted. I'm really glad you liked James's family. I based them a little on my inlaws! It's a lot of fun. I hope they came off as elderly but proud ^.^ I do intend to have Lily meeting James's parents, but I'm having trouble finding a good place to work it in. However, with the holidays coming up (both in real time and in the story...) I think there will definitely be some more interaction with their families.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #13, by BellaPotter017 

24th November 2008:
aww so sweet :) weddings are great. I hope your story includes Lily and James' :D

Author's Response: Now why would I include Frank and Alice's but not Lily and James's! Of course I'll include theirs :D I've planned for it a few months ahead in the story... I think the timing right now is around late Sept/Oct 1978.

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Review #14, by auror_snape 

24th November 2008:
James' parents die sometime between the summer of 1978 and the fall of 1981, before James and Lily die themselves. The HP Lexicon says it was a wizarding illness. I hope that helps you in some way.

Author's Response: Thanks for the help. I haven't decided exactly when I'll have them die... I'm thinking late 79 to early 80.

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Review #15, by flamingolover 

24th November 2008:
YAY!!! i love it!!! great chapter, and I love the way you write!!! Please update soon!

Author's Response: thank you! I'm glad you liked it. It was a fun chapter, I like introducing James's family.

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