12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by girly1393 

10th May 2011:
I wish such hard feelings wouldn't exist between the Order. I know it's natural with the war, but it's just disappointing.

Bravo to you.

 Report Review

Review #2, by spangles 

14th February 2010:
Poor Sirius!! I feel so bad for him, but at least he makes it clear to Moody he's able to protect himself. Superb job againnn. (: 10/10

Author's Response: Yeah, Sirius isn't used to the way the public views his family - he's been sheltered from that by Hogwarts for the last 7 years! He has definitely proven to Moody that he is a capable wizard, you're right.

 Report Review

Review #3, by Casey 

21st January 2010:
You could seriously feel the anticipation and excitement before they went in there. I guess they must have felt really tiny compared to everyone else, like the new people in school. Although I think its pretty cool that you had a headquarters at Hog's Head, I reckon they would have spent alot of time there during the days before they were properly prepared or rather knew what they were doing. I wasn't surprised about Moody going off either, he would have probably been such (well I know hes going to be such a twat towards them) .

And Moody is just picking on Sirius like a bully although in some way, Sirius picked on others and I guess now he knows what it feels like, although he probably would never see it that way. And I was surprised that they didn't know those spells, I always thought they would try to get to know as much as possible.

Author's Response: This is one of my favourite chapters :D I think they were definitely a little nervous lol. Peter was probably downright terrified. For some reason, because Aberforth was in the Order, the Hog's Head seemed like a good place to me. I couldn't picture Aberforth having any other job as a member of the Order except to keep an eye on the goings on in his bar, and to supply them a place to have their meetings. Dumbledore obviously trusted the place enough to hold his job interviews there, after all.

I will probably have them move to a new location soon, however.

Sirius definitely knows how it feels now, though you're right, that's really at the back of his mind. He's only thinking about himself right now. And if you are talking about the spells Sirius used at the end, he already knew those. But other spells, like the rope one that James was doing, they didn't know. I figure there must be SO many spells that you can't possibly learn them ALL in school - and the Marauders didn't go through school like Harry did, with somebody after his life specifically. You could be right, but I always figured they were just normal students who didn't go out of their way to learn any extra defensive spells.

 Report Review

Review #4, by InvisibleWitch19 

24th September 2009:
That's mean; Sirius and Remus didn't have to be treated that way. Well, a werewolf and a Black, what the heck, of course they won't be accepted so quickly. I love how Dumbledore trusted in them and tried to stick up to them in order to be accepted by the Order.

I'm glad you included Frank and Alice as good friends of the Marauders and Lily because most fics just make them extra people or distant friends. Frank's reaction to Lily and James together was funny; after so many years of James trying to get Lily, he finally did it!

And the Longbottom wedding is next chapter, right? Yeah, I see the title. Well, not now but I saw it when I viewed the story and yeah- you know what I mean.

Keep up the good work!! :)


Author's Response: I don't think they should be treated that way either, but the Order doesn't know them as well as we do ;) They will win the group over in the end, though. I really enjoyed writing Dumbledore here, so I'm glad you liked his part in this!

Sometimes I see Frank and Alice as being really close to the Marauders - i.e. Frank being a roommate and Alice is Lily's BFF. I don't mind when people do that, but sometimes I think it's a little unlikely that half the kids in Harry's class had parents that are exactly the same age. I liked making them in a different year, but still on friendly terms. I would imagine James and Frank might be on the Quidditch team together or something, and of course as you now know, Peter dated Alice.

Thank you for reviewing! You've done a lot of reading so far!

 Report Review

Review #5, by Dellacqua 

10th July 2009:
Hello! I am back, sorry once again for there being a delay between this and my last few reviews I’ve attempting to motivate myself to write more chapters of my fic! Thankyou so much for your reviews by the way, I promise whole-heartedly I will respond to them tonight, *sighs* I am always so behind! I’m really excited to read this chapter, I’ve been looking forward to it.

Anyway, great start to this chapter, I loved the image you painted immediately of the guys in the real Bachelor pad setting and I loved Sirius very knee jerk and sudden reaction at the Patronus; I think it really demonstrates how dangerous times have gotten. By the way I should have said this a while ago but I write this whilst I read in a word doc, hence why it probably seems a bit disjointed! Anyway, I like Sirius’ musings over the end to the current freedom he has, the way he thinks it is so matter of fact. I think it sets him really apart from James and shows that despite Sirius’ deep love and loyalty to James they still are very different characters. As Sirius thinks himself he doesn’t share that same excitement as James. It makes me wonder in a way whether he would have any hard feelings at how everything turned out, whether he would be just a bit angry at Lily and James after they died because James got them involved in the Order.

Oooh the bit about James’ disappointment in Sirius’ lack of enthusiasm is very, very interesting. I wonder then what amde him so keen for Harry to pursue adventures later? Maybe James’ antics grow on him, or maybe he always did like them, it’s just recent times have turned him against it. Especially as it says because he knows exactly what Death Eaters are capable of.

I thought Sirius’ thoughts on expecting to see Voldemort appear at any moment were so good and really reminded me of Harry later on, I’m sure at several points he had that strange irrational fear. I yet again feel so sorry for poor old Remus and his sympathetic sadness at seeing the effect on Hogsmeade, it must have been awful for him to have that same experience years later.

The atmosphere you created in the Hogs Head was brilliant with all of the less than nice drinkers staring at the four boys and then the journey down into a secret hidden room for the meeting. Moody is absolutely perfect! It’s fantastic to see him so nervous and suspicious with his instant interrogation even this early on. Once again your characterisation of Dumbledore is excellent, I especially loved the way he calmly told people to lower their wands whenever they wanted, he is such a serene character even when the boys were in such a bad situation.

Wow I can’t believe Moody’s reaction to Remus being a werewolf! But then it’s only surprising in the climate at the time. It’s great to think that later he accepts Remus completely as a friend and fellow member of the Order. At the same time I once again feel so sorry for Remus (bless him) even in this environment he’s persecuted and mistrusted.

James resting his arm on the back of Sirius’ chair was a great touch, it really showed how the relationship between them isn’t one-sided it is give and take, they are equal in James’ eyes and he gives support when he needs to. Dumbledore’s control over the meeting is brilliant, obviously because of his avoidance of Harry – and Mrs Weasley’s preventions – we never got any Order meetings and I had always wondered what Dumbledore’s leadership would really be like. I really liked your link as well between James and the Prewett brothers giving a window back to James’ childhood when James was only young and worshipped people like them.

Frank and Alice Longbotton are PERFECT, you really are the Queen of Characterisation! They were exactly as I imagined, so welcoming and kind, harmless and sincere with slight reservations but willing to overcome them. I LOVED Frank’s shock over Lily finally dating James, it was a great reference back and reflected those facts we know from information Harry gathered in the HP books. I think the easiness in their conversation also shows that Frank and Alice are also still, really, teenagers. I think because I always think of them as Neville’s parents it’s easy to think of them as adults now they’re in the Order but they’re not, they are just as vulnerable as the Marauders.

I have such sympathy for Sirius, Moody’s treatment is awful but then he believes in “constant vigilance” so he’s going to be wary of the person he obviously perceives would be most likely to betray them in the end. I’m really intrigued to find out what makes Sirius changes Moody’s mind about him as later they obviously work together as well as Moody does with anyone.

Yes! GO SIRIUS! That was a brilliant ending, I loved that. Perfect, perfect, perfect!!

Author's Response: Just so you know, Im leaving out apostrophes because the slashes take up character count! Also I review the same as you. My reviews never seem to make sense afterwards because I jump from one thing to another, but as long as the author knows what im talking about, its all good!

Writing your own is always more important. No worries. As Ive said all along, Im simply glad Ive found somebody to read this (I know the chapters get unbearably long)-take as long as you like. Rofl I went ahead and read 9 and 10 on your story. I decided to wait and review after youve had a chance to respond, but I couldnt stop reading.

Im always surprised people like that first scene in Sirius flat. I cant recall if anything important even happens there, aside from the patronus. I have to reread it just to respond to some of what you said in the review. I never thought that Sirius might be angry with James after his death-it makes sense. Isnt anger one of the steps of grief or something?

I think Sirius has seen a lot of things that James never has, given the difference in their upbringings. Ignorance is bliss, and James has no idea. Theyre all still children, but Ive always thought James was overprotected, sheltered in a wonderful life of being spoiled rotten and never seeing anything terrible. Hed probaby hear stories from his father (who is a retired auror in this fic) and regard it more as superhero type of stuff than real danger, you know? Sirius has seen terrible things. That said, I think Sirius has always enjoyed trouble and a bit of danger, but at the same time I think he knows how bad things are. Perhaps his wishing Harry would have been more daring was simply his disappointment. I think he really did regard Harry as James at times, and he knows James would have done it. Quite a wake up call when Harry had a more leve head on his shoulders than his old best mate did.

I dont know, really. Despite what we know of canon, I cant see them being overly reckless.

Moody was so much fun to write. hey, paranoid people are awesome, apparently. I didnt think Id enjoy him as much as I did. Dumbledore was also tons of fun to write in this chapter; Im glad you commented on him specifically. I was quite proud of the line about the Orders warm welcome.

Ah, the arm on the chair. I dont know why Im always including those silly little things. Actions speak louder than words, maybe? They mean something, anyway, and Im glad you can see that. I hated writing the actual meeting, and I feel like I rushed it. I will probably come back to it one day and fix it.

Frank is so much fun. I picture them as one of those big, friendly, sports oriented funny guys. I dont know why. And Alice is the supersweet wife thats always beaming. They could have been the perfect family.

Anyway. Ive exceeded the length even without apostrophes. Ill PM you the full response.

 Report Review

Review #6, by Moonylupin 

1st June 2009:
Ha, James was transfiguring the walls in Sirius's flat. Maybe it should stay the color of the Chudley Cannons, they may win a game that way. Again, I loved Sirius's paranoia when the patronus came into his house. Sirius had a good point, it doesn't seem too hard to be too paranoid in those days.

That was quite the reception they received. I've actually only seen two stories in which Remus received a poor welcome because he was a werewolf and I loved the way you did it. In my fic, they haven't even figured it out yet, though they're about to in the coming chapters. And Sirius, of course, they wouldn't take to him right away, but it's great that Dumbledore showed his faith in them so everyone would know they could be trusted.

Frank and Alice! Frank's reaction to James going out with Lily was awesome. I guess after years of him trying and failing to get her, it must have been a shock to find out he'd done it. So I guess the Longbottom wedding is in the next chapter. Should be fun to read. Great chapter!

Author's Response: Hehe. I try to think of fun things for them to do - I really doubt they used things like televisions, being wizards. And you can only play so many games of chess and exploding snap. I'm glad you liked his paranoia. Sometimes I worry that I have Sirius too worried about things, considering how reckless he was in school. But I also think he feels uncomfortably close to this war, considering his family and relatives as DE's, etc.

Wow! I am surprised you have seen stories where Remus received a poor welcome. I thought I was being really brilliant when I thought that up. haha, guess its hard to come up with anything original anymore. I can't wait until I get to the "after school" parts in your fic.

Yep, you're right, it is their wedding next. You must haven noticed the chapter title :) I'm glad you liked Frank's reaction, I think he'd have been really surprised lol. Plus he's 2 years older than James and Lily (I noticed he's the same age in your fic) so he wouldn't have known up until now anyway.

Thanks for reviewing :) I will be back to review another chapter or two on yours in a bit.

 Report Review

Review #7, by spaghettiemandolino 

21st February 2009:
sorry I haven't reviewed in a while...
Moody reaction surprised me a bit, cos I didn't expect it, I think i had in mind the second order of the phoenix where everyone was getting on fine. It was interesting to see how difficult was for remus and sirius to get accepted.
Another thing i loved was the beginning:it was a great picture of the four friends. Oh, and the fact that they are spending so much time together in Sirius's flat, i already love that place, it must be really confortable and ...a kind of happy refuge from the terrors of the war.

Author's Response: that's all right! I haven't actually been around very much myself :)

I know Moody's reaction would have been unexpected. I was kind of trying to think a little differently. He wasn't even Mad Eye back then! I figured things might have been much different, and we know how paranoid Moody is, and I figured he might act this way.

I'm glad you like Sirius's flat! It is definitely becoming the place to hang out, and I'm happy you are settling into it as well ^.^

 Report Review

Review #8, by rachm34 

28th January 2009:
I like that you made Remus a bit more open about his condition in this. I feel as if he would tell others as he matured with age.

I also am enjoying the fact that you added a little bit of Peter and Alice. I think it's nice that someone other than the marauders have found a Friend in Peter. A lot of writers leave him, empty without other friends and seem to forget about him in their stories.I feel as if J.K. Rowling wouldn't have created him if he was like that.

I love your descriptions. Seriously they are like out of this world great. The second part of this chapter when you opened it up with the descriptions of Hogsmeade at Night i said "Wow," out loud and i was like. You really can write! Great job!


Author's Response: Poor Remus. I honestly don't think he really wanted anyone else to know about it, but obviously, Moody recognized him for what he was instantly, and at that point there was no hiding it! But he will definitely be a little more open about it now that so many people know.

I liked Peter and Alice too. I think Alice is a really kind person and she seems like the type to give somebody like Peter a chance. I really don't think he was such a bad guy until the very end, so we are in the same mind there.

I'm still thrilled you love my descriptions :) They're kind of tough to deal with.

 Report Review

Review #9, by Labby 

25th January 2009:
Woah, I never thought of a Peter/Alice thing, but that's interesting. I like it.. that she was actually one of the nice people for him. Great introduction to the Order! Again it shows the slightness of how Voldemort's creating his power of people, giving them the fear. Moody and the other Order members didn't accept Remus and Sirius in, attacking them at first, and Sirius was ready to attack the Patronus. Should be interesting from here.. great chapter!

Author's Response: Alice always seemed like such a kind-hearted person, I think she'd give anyone a chance. I don't know. The pairing wasn't really premeditated, the idea came to me while writing and I liked it, so I used it :) I think it might be able to play a minor role later, one more thing to possibly push Peter over the edge. I haven't really decided.

I did have a lot of fun introducing them to the Order! I hadn't planned it to go the way it did, but once I started writing it just came out this way, and I was really happy with it.

 Report Review

Review #10, by auror_snape 

24th November 2008:
Uh-oh, Hagrid's interested! Time to make like a banana and split! And I know I read this before, but poor Peter! And I still think Lily should be brought into the Order. Her position at the paper makes her a highly desireable spy for Dumbledore, or James.

Author's Response: Yep! Hagrid would never let him leave. And yeah, I feel bad for Peter too. I was hoping it would give him just one more reason to do what he did. Don't worry, Lily will come into the Order soon!

 Report Review

Review #11, by BellaPotter017 

17th November 2008:
YEAH!! I am so excited!!! this is going really great!

Author's Response: :D I'm glad you're excited. I was excited when I wrote this chapter because i felt like I was finally getting somewhere. It was a little frustrating that it took me seven chapters to get them into the Order!!! But when i look at each chapter individually, I think all of them are completely necessary.

 Report Review

Review #12, by the__5th__marauder 

17th November 2008:
I feel sorry for Remus and Sirius, if it was me I'd be pretty angry of the immediate reactions they give.

I love picking up on the little bits in your story that show just how close Sirius and James are, the one for this chapter was when James left to see Lily, and he ruffled Sirius' hair when he walked past him and Sirius just mutter 'careful' in reply, without taking his eyes off the paper.

And I liked the bit of how excited Hagrid got at the news Remus was a werewolf, I remembered that bit from the chapter last time because I liked it so much.

I think we're getting closer to some new chapters, still a few to go but its getting there and I can't wait.

Author's Response: Yeah! poor guys. even though it was a little unfair to them, I really liked the idea when I thought of it. As the others (aside from Frank and Alice) don't know them personally, I don't think they would react any other way. I was so proud of myself for that one ^.^

I love James and Sirius. They're a lot of fun to write... imo, they have the best relationship in the entire series - people don't have to be romantic to be close, two friends could be soulmates too. Well, thats what I think. So I'm glad you enjoy those little parts, because I try to make them close, but not all over each other. It's not slash, after all ^.^

Poor Hagrid. And you're right, almost done. I had left off on chapter 12, so probably at the end of December I'll be working on new stuff. I try to post a chapter a week, so it's taking a long time. I want to give people a chance to read it though.

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login
Add a Review