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39 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Sushmita 

7th November 2016:
At this point I'm wondering why no one used patronuses to get rid of the dementors? They must have learnt that in Defense against dark arts by now if they're 7th years?

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Review #2, by royaleblack 

22nd December 2013:
Is this story really abandoned? I just can't believe it! It's simply the best Marauders era that I've found, it's exceptional. Please come back and let us know what's happening. If it has been abandoned we at least need to know. It's simply too heartbreaking waiting for an update that will never come. You are brilliant. Life happens, we get it. But this is too incredible to give up on!

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Review #3, by xXxMagicHappensxXx 

13th January 2012:
Wow, just wow. This was written absolutely brilliantly!! I love how you have different POVs too- it really gives everyone a personality, and makes it more understandable about the things they do.

Good work!! xx

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Review #4, by girly1393 

9th May 2011:
You said intense, and I got it. Holy snood.

You wrote this after taking a break? Seriously?!

Bravo to you.

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Review #5, by Rommana 

23rd January 2011:
I read this first chapter awhile ago and then life got really busy so I never had time to review or continue reading the story, but I'm here now and I'm going to read the whole thing and maybe try to review every chapter. Anyways on with the review...

This is possibly one of the best first chapters that I've read in a while.
You had me hooked from the first paragraph. There aren't many stories out there that focus on this
Era and still stay completely canon so I'm really excited to read the rest of this. I liked the way you included Peter and how a lot of this was from his point if view. Lots of stories just exclud him and I'm happy you didn't. As a character I find Peter really interesting and I'm really liking the way you have portrayed him. Because he really is insecure and feels like he doesn't fit in and I'm looking forward to see his journey to the dark side.
If there is one thing that I'm a bit confused about is that what exactly happens after the dementors came? I'm just going to assume dumbledore chased them away because , well, it dumbeldore.
I'm just going to finish this here so I can move on to the next chapter.

- Rommana

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Review #6, by ronnikinschik4ever 

4th June 2010:
Okay, so I have to say... First paragraph, and I'm hooked. That was an amazing intro... =] Okay, back to read the rest of this chapter...Wow. The rest was as amazing as the beginning. My heart was actually racing for a couple of minutes. Great. Can't wait to read more. =]

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you got into it - I've always worried about the first half of chapter 1. Opening with a speech just doesn't seem like a brilliant idea :D

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Review #7, by onestop_hpfan18 

11th March 2010:
Heya, here I am to review as requested! I quite enjoyed this first chapter as you did a marvelous job setting up the atmosphere that this story is to take place, dark and dangerous with Voldemort reigning over the Wizarding world in the first war. Also, the characterisations of each of the characters in this chapter (James, Sirius, Remus, Lily, Dumbledore, and Peter) were very nicely written. I especially enjoyed reading your portrayal of Peter as it really matched the description that I see him as, and I'm looking forward to reading more from his perspective as he slips over to the dark side as I have a feeling that your characterisation of him can only improve more greatly from here. More often Peter often gets overlooked in the Marauders fanfics because not many people like him since he was the one to betray the Potters, and I like that already this story is defying those stories that don't include him nearly enough, if at all, and I look forward to reading more. The level of interest this first chapter peaked, at least for me, is to immediately move forward to read the second chapter to see what happens next (though I'm going to refrain from doing that until after I finish reading a chapter from my business law textbook & finishing the assignment). However, I will read chapters 2 and 3 over the weekend when I get a free moment and then you may request the next three chapters as right now I'm only reading the stories in the my review queue due to being busy at the current moment with classes. Though, to show that I do intend to keep following this story I am going to favorite this because I really do like how you've started it and how it seems to following canon well already in this first chapter (I'm a canon freak, too). Anyway, great job!

Author's Response: hey onestop! Thanks for coming, half the time I request and the person doesn't ever come, which is why I rarely bother anymore :) The atmosphere actually concerns me, because I want this story to appear dark, and in some chapters I don't feel it has been portrayed enough. However, I am thrilled it came across in this chapter :D

Characterisation is really important to me - after all, if it wasn't for my love of these characters, I wouldn't care to write their story. I have found that I really enjoy Peter as a person (as long as I overlook what he did). I'm glad he is matching up with how you pictured him and hope I do him justice in the future - I must admit, though, that his presence is not as common as I would like it to be simply because I'm having trouble finding that balance - but I hope to edit him in more in the future, and once the prophecy is made, there will be a lot more from his POV.

I'm really pleased to hear that it has peaked your interest, as that is my greatest fear with this. Being so long, it has a lot going against it as far as keeping people interested, and that has been my greatest concern. There is no rush to continue reading if you don't have time, but I'm really glad that you seem to be enjoying it so far.

Thanks so much for the excellent input!


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Review #8, by jadelouise 

11th March 2010:
Hiya, I've decided only to review this first chapter, simply through lack of time to read all the chapters and then review the latest one aswell!

Anyway, I really enjoyed the first few chapters of this story, I think it's really interesting how you have described the upcoming war because it's an aspect that is not really spoken about in the books. So I think that you have really started the plot of well.

I liked the characterisation in this story of James and Peter. With your version of Peter we can really begin to understand why he took the path that he did in his life, and as we know very little about him too, I think you described it perfectly how he just wants to fit in, but he is also particularly bitter too.

The only thing I would say is that I didn't like how Sirus was very much James' shadow, and followed him around everywhere. I imagine that although the pair were very close, Sirus would still have his own mind and wouldn't just become a auror because that is what James wanted to do. However, I can see where you are coming from with your version of Sirus.

I think this is a really great start to the story and the mystery will definately keep people reading on! Great job.

Author's Response: hey, I am glad you came :) And thats okay, I definitely don't expect people to read more than one chapter, they are pretty long to have to sit through.

I'm happy that you enjoyed what you read - and I agree about the war being so interesting. Aside from not being in the books, it's also covered very little in fanfiction!

I have learned whilst writing this that I really enjoy Peter. There is something about him that I can relate to, and I think other people can too (but probably afraid to admit it). Perhaps not the traitorous part of him, but the other parts. He's been fun to portray, and I'm thrilled that you liked his characterisation.

As for Sirius, I'm glad you can see where I'm coming from even if you don't agree with it. I guess we all view the characters a little differently :) I don't see Sirius as having much else aside from his friends - he doesn't strike me as the type to be raring to go to start a career, so I didn't think he'd care so long as he was with his friends. I guess I could see him wanting to battle the Dark Arts because of his past, but at the same time, I could see him shying away from it because of his past as well.

Thank you for your input! Given how absolutely long this thing is turning out to be, that is my biggest concern - keeping people interested!


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Review #9, by AnnaKay 

10th March 2010:
I can see why you won a couple of Dobby awards. The first chapter starting out was really great.

You have a good hook too... You told me that I only had to review a little bit, but I love it, and have to keep going and see how it goes.

I think how you have your characters is amazing. They seem just like they are, like they should be. I could see this happening, and I love it!

Author's Response: Glad you liked it :D I'm always worried about the first chapter not having enough to make people want to keep reading - considering how long this story is, it probably already has a lot going against it as far as gaining new readers :)

And I love the characters to death, it always makes me happy to hear somebody likes how they are portrayed here!

Thanks for the excellent review!


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Review #10, by yourebeautiful 

23rd February 2010:
Firstly, before I read anything, the quote in your banner is amazing!
I have filed it away in my quote file :)

Secondly, I love your formatting, and the note in the beginning. :) And how you formatted your title and the first sentence.

(Aside: You may find me an annoying reviewer. I review from the beginning to the end of the chapter pointing out my favourite parts. :) )

Inkling. That was my word last week :) It has actually made my day that you've used it.

When you describe how close the seventh year class was, I'[m immensely jealous. I don't think my graduating class will be like that, ever.

I love the way you write. Not only do you show very well, but you also tell.

The feast scene was written wonderfully and I teared up when they realized that that was good-bye.

Because you, I'm now going to treasure the last months with my friends even more. :) Thank you.

Author's Response: lol. I am glad you like the quote. It's from a Switchfoot song. Formatting! Nobody has ever complimented me on that before, but I'll take it! A few people have told me they liked the AN, which is always surprising, because... well, it's an AN! And probably the longest one in history, at that!

I find no reviewers annoying! And Inkling just seems like such a Dumbledore-ish word. I am glad that you have taken such pleasure from it!

I figure the classes in Hogwarts were much smaller than the typical public school classes... I spent many years of my education in private schools, so my classes were small. My high school would take an annual 3 day retreat every September, which was always fun and awesome. Then for 11th and 12th grade, I switched to the much larger public schools - which was entirely different, but no less enjoyable. Nonetheless, I can see the closeness of smaller numbers (especially in a place like Hogwarts, having spent 7 years together), and look upon it with fondness.

I am afraid the quality of my writing dwindles after this first chapter, which I think I may have perfected. After this chapter, I am simply interested in getting the story out! I hope you continue to enjoy it, however, and edits in the future will hopefully bring the rest up to par!

I am glad that this story has given you the realisation that perhaps there is not a lot of time left to be young :) I hope you enjoy the rest of your school year :D


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Review #11, by spangles 

13th February 2010:
WOW. I just want to say this is the most fantastic first chapter EVER. (: First off, I loved your little author note at the top. I'm completly estatic I found this because there are NO stories out there that actually focus on the war. It's all "Sirius shags a girl" or "James wants Lily but Lily hates James." You've given all the characters a diffrent spin than I've seen in other stories and I really like that. Most of the time Sirius just cracks jokes and acts like he's two years old but you've given him a more mature and broding side. I like it. GREAT first chapter!! 10/10

Author's Response: Spangles - you are insane. In a good way, but you are! I got up this morning and saw that my review count had jumped quite a bit. I was like, wha?? and then I saw all these reviews from you. At first, I thought "that's a lot of reviewing..." and then it dawned on me that that is an INSANE amount of reading, all in one night??

BUT you are currently my hero after doing it. I am going to start responding, but I might not get it all done in one sitting, so hang tight!

I've had a few people so far tell me that the AN drew them in. LOL! Who knew? I thought people mostly ignored AN's. There were a few things I felt I had to warn people about. Seems like people EXPECT romance in these things. I'm glad the AN has such an impact. And the things you are saying about how other stories are written is part of the reason I wanted to write this in the first place. It must have been an incredible time as far as the war itself is concerned AND the Order AND how their friendships must have grown and shattered... Nobody has done it justice, so I set out to try.

Thanks for this review (and all the others - I am still in shock)


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Review #12, by gred_and_forge09 

8th February 2010:
I have been a big fan of your works for quite a while now, but I never seem to express my thoughts in a review that would be appropriate, so I have remained a silent reader for many a month (I think I reviewed your long story under the penname of Bibbs once, but I might be wrong). I never realised that you had come back as Stag Night - I was delighted! Anyway, I've decided to start reading this fanfic, and I will try and review as much as possible.

I really thought Dumbledore's speech was excellently written - you truly made his character come to life on the page. The cutting between his thoughts and his words was seamless.

Peter changing his attitude to look the same way as his friends made me laugh - I've always felt sorry for poor Wormtail; he's always seemed the outcast in the group :(, and too many people write him out of their stories. And now he is going to feel as if Lily is replacing him in their group!

Poor Remus, as well! Going through seven years of school "trying to fit in studying and homework when he was lying ill and broken in the hospital wing". And only three of his friends ever knew!

Sirius is so childish, as usual. The photo shoot was well written, and all the characters showed their differing personalities, laughing and joking.

And then, bam! Everything turns dark! I presume the rest of the story will be similar to the last section of this chapter - it's so unfair that none of them get to carry on being teenagers :(.

Anyway, that's enough from me. Hopeless review that probably makes no sense :). Ah, well.

gred_and_forge09

P.S There wouldn't be the teeniest, tiniest chance that your old stories would happen to be accessible somewhere, would there? I know the answer is almost certainly no, but I might as well ask anyway.

Author's Response: I do recognise your name, actually :) You probably did review when I was Bibbs. And no, none of my old stuff is accessible. I deleted it all - and while I don't miss my big novel, I really do miss the one shots and regret it now! BUT I do like this story much better than my old stuff, and I'm probably my worst critic, so that's saying something.

I'm so glad you liked the speech - I have always stressed that a speech would scare people off right away. Speeches are usually boring, and I wondered if it was a smart way to begin the story.

Poor Peter, I feel sorry for him too. I try not to make him an outcast - I try to at least make him likeable - unfortunately, I still don't write him much because I just don't have the space or ideas for him when it's not his POV. But he will definitely have a large role to play later on :) And he won't feel too replaced for a while, Lily tends to grow on people XD Still, I think he's the one a lot of people can relate to the most, even though they probably hate to admit that.

Anyway, glad you liked the other characters, and it does get dark! I hope that the majority of the story stays dark - alas, I think I've failed a little at that, but as I always tell people - it's still a WIP. I'll likely be back to edit currently posted chapters to make things more to my liking. It's hard to perfect it when it's not complete, and I'm too busy concentrating on other issues with it plotwise to focus on writing it dark and scary!

I thought it was a great review, don't be so hard on yourself! I am glad you found me again.


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Review #13, by Awokened 

26th January 2010:
A great story. You have BIG potential to write, and great ideas, and a generally fluent style. But try to be "direct", and show instead of tell .Ex:
"he felt the urge to warn them"
Told directly, it'd turn into: "I have to tell warn them" Enter his thoughts, your reader will to.
And, when you're talking about Dumbledore, try to be more specific : where was he? what was he doing? (Needing to warn them? He's probably wondering in his room or office, angry, hitting things, maybe just sitting, grabbing his head between his hands.
Your story is still excellent though. Make me need to read more. 10/10 without a doubt. You'll be a wonderful writer. =)

Author's Response: Hi Awokened, thanks for coming to review! And also, thank you for your advise - I could always use a fresh opinion on things.

I can see what you mean about Dumbledore - in the first part, right? I definitely think showing him pacing around his office in thought would bring a lot more to the scene - you are right. When I get a chance, I will try to edit something in right there.

Thanks for your generous rating and comments - if you do continue the story, feel free to leave advise, should you have any on future chapters!


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Review #14, by Casey 

21st January 2010:
Heya! lol, I hope you are ready to hear my ramblings about the story and hopefully they don't bore you to death about everything I have to say.

I really loved Dumbledore's speech, it was a tad bit morbid but hey, look at the times they are living in. Can't exactly act like a happy bunny all the time now can we? I love the intro with the Marauders too, you didn't describe them as something more than human as one can see their faults slipping through with their words and stuff. And the flow from something so cheerful to something dark and mysterious is really great.

Author's Response: I was really surprised yesterday morning when I woke up to find so many new reviews waiting for me! Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to respond until now. So here goes :D

I'm thrilled you liked Dumbledore's speech - I always find such things boring, especially in writing, but graduation is kind of a big deal and I didn't want to leave it out when they don't really get anything else but a feast. So in other words, I always worry that opening up with a speech will drive people away, and I'm glad that it didn't for you.

I think this chapter is my best overall as far as descriptions go. I'm glad you enjoyed the Marauders - and as for the sudden change in atmosphere, I was hoping it would leave off with people wanting more!


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Review #15, by Megan 

16th January 2010:
WOW!!! bloody brilliant! Just from reading your authors note i praise you for going off the beaten path, and thus far this story is excellently written, Kudos.

Author's Response: Thank you! I definitely haven't seen many stories like this one, so I'm glad people can appreciate it for what it is, even if it doesn't involve the romance that seems to dominate fanfiction :) Thanks for the review, and the compliments, I hope you continue to enjoy!

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Review #16, by whacked 

14th January 2010:
I don't know why, but i ahd been avoiding this story for a while. Boy am I glad I checked it out! This is really in canon! Peter is jealous and admiring at the same time, Sirius is arrogant, moody and vain, Remus is shy and considerate, and James is James!! But you already know that. This is a really fantastic opening. It catches attention, and it leaves the reader in suspense.

although it was more in a rugged, boyish way than Sirius
- I just wanted to point out that this was the only flaw in your use of language :( Rugged and Boyish are quite contradictory adjectives. So I don't see how James could simulatneously look manly and cute.

But really, simply excellent.

10/10. And I really mean it.

Author's Response: aww! Avoiding it? Oh :(

But I'm glad you checked it out also, because it's always nice to overcome somebody's doubts about it :) I really wanted it to be as canon as possible - I, personally, have only seen a handful of fics that really truly cover the war and not some other event that simply happened in the same time frame. And most of those I've seen about the war were written ages ago, before we had some of the facts that we have now. Also, I'm thrilled that the opening captured your attention! I know that's super important in a first chapter, and I've been worried that starting off with a boring old speech was a bad idea.

You're right about my mistake, of course. I think I was trying to say two different things at once... like his face wasn't as soft and beautiful as Sirius's, and... well, I don't know. I'll go change it *blush*

Thank you for the review, and for giving it a chance :)


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Review #17, by Rose Wilts 

4th January 2010:
Can I just say, your authors note made me love this story already? :) Hahah, honestly it did. I was so excited to start reading. It' so refreshing to read a story that ISN'T romance- even though I'm guilty of pretty much only writing romance.

I love the idea of this and I think it's fantastic how you're writing about the dynamics between friends and the changes war brings out in people. I wrote a one-shot about Lily and James during the war, but it was definitely nothing of this magnitude! Hahah, so I'm definitely excited to be reading on.

Such a good first chapter! I particularly admired your characterisation of dumbledore. I don't think I've ever read him written well in fan fiction. Or maybe I just don't read enough? And I'm so glad you included Peter. Fantastic characterisation :)

Oh gosh, I'm sure you've heard this all a thousand times before. But I'm sure you deserve to hear it again.

Laura

Author's Response: I'm so glad! I wanted people to know what to expect going into this story (some people are die hard romance fans, and some arent). If people are tired of reading about Lily's best friend who is pg with Sirius's baby and who is tragically killed in the war, then I wanted to let them know they've come to the right spot. It's such a long story, I feel like people NEED to know what its going to be like before they make that commitment.

I really like writing about friendship. I'm not sure why, even, because I don't have particularly awesome friends (they are nice, but nothing like the bond the Marauders have). But I think its one of the most remarkable relationships ever to be so intimate with other people and not have to be dating them :P As for writing about the war, it's just not something I've seen done overly much, and the few times I have seen it, the stories are really old (Forever Alive) and, I'm sorry to say, not very well written. So I just wanted to bring something more massive and more detailed to the fanfiction world :)

I used to hate writing Dumbledore, but now I quite like him. He's fun, and I hope my characterisation of him stays steady throughout. I've come to really like Peter, I think we can all relate to him even if we'd rather die than admit it. Unfortunately, he's taken a backseat in the story currently, but he has a pretty big role to play soon and will be making a comeback :)

Thank you so much for the wonderful review! I haven't heard it THAT many times yet, and I still love when people review for me :D After all, if I didn't want to hear people's thoughts, I'd just write this for me and save it on my computer and not bother posting at all!


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Review #18, by Jessiiicax0x0 

21st October 2009:
You're a great writer! This seems a great base for a story, and I cant wait to read more.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I think this first chapter is one of the best. I'm thrilled you like it, and hope the rest of it is as enjoyable :)

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Review #19, by mac kauffman 

5th October 2009:
you are sooo talented i loved this chapter!! cant wait to read the next!

Author's Response: Thank you, i rather think that this one is the best of the lot.

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Review #20, by rhubarbpie 

24th September 2009:
oh my gosh, i know you probably get like a hundred reviews every day, but if i hadn't been listening to a happy song or been in a more emotional mood, your first chapter would have made me cry.

your writing is beautiful. :)

Author's Response: no, actually, I don't :D In fact, this story was in a big slump up until I won a Dobby.

I must say, I am surprised if the first chapter almost made you cry! What was it, the speech? I am always happy when my story can bring out some sort of emotion in people, so it's not a bad thing.

Thank you so much for the lovely compliment :)


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Review #21, by InvisibleWitch19 

23rd September 2009:
Hey!! You might not know me or you may have heard of me vaguely but I'm here because this story seems really awesome. I saw this story before and thought it was another of those cliched Marauder fics but when I heard it got two awards, I decided to give it a shot. I'm happy to say that it really isn't like just another Marauder story! :)

The first thing I said when I finished reading was "WOW". I really liked the start of this chapter. Dumbledore's speech was so real and true, it was as if he really wanted to make the readers shudder on purpose. Other stories with the seventh years' graduations in it have it all happy and exciting but this one is just plain realistic. I love that.

The last part was even creepier. The words you write just pop out of the screen and make me feel exactly what the characters are feeling. That's a really awesome talent that any author should have. I love the way you write. This story really does deserve not one, but TWO Dobby awards, and that's saying something.

Brilliant story, keep up the good work!

-Bree-

Author's Response: Yes, I have seen you around :) I must say that these Dobby awards have brought me quite a bit of traffic recently, and it has been excellent. I'm really glad the story won them! And I'm also glad you decided to give it a chance, because one of the biggest things I've enjoyed about writing this story is trying NOT to make it a cliche'd Marauder fic. I don't like OC's, and if I wanted to write about them I'd write an original story. I do have one OC so far (a werewolf) but I think you might like him, and he's only in for a portion.

I hadn't thought about the graduation as being realistic before. It just felt like Dumbledore should say something, so he did. Now that I think about it, I suppose you are right, it is usually a big massive party, isn't it? Anyway, I'm thrilled you liked his speech - I was really iffy on whether it would be a good idea or not to bore readers with a speech right off the bat.

I totally intended the last part to be a bit dark in the hopes to make people want to keep reading :) I'm glad you could get into the story so much, and I love the phrase "pop out of the screen". Thank you so much for the wonderful review, I'm really excited to have another reader!


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Review #22, by Candide Lee 

20th September 2009:
Wow! This is great! It's very much like how JKR writes!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm happy you like it and that I've done JKR justice (given they are her characters... unfortunately...) :P

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Review #23, by WitnesstoitAll 

6th September 2009:
wowee!! I stumbled upon this story and was pulled in by the authour's note in the beginning.

It is increasingly difficult to find a realistic marauders fic and I think you have done just that. This is a wonderful introduction to what I believe is going to be a canontastic fic complete with no OC (so excited about this!) and the growing dread of the wizarding world at war.

I love the insecurity within Peter. It is portrayed wonderfully!! I also love that Lily hasn't always hung around the marauders. It was so real that she only began hanging out with them once her and James began dating.

I'm incredibly anxious to read on, and plan on doing so once some school work gets accomplished. This is story is going to be my new project!! expect more reviews...
-witness

Author's Response: Wow, at least author's notes are good for something, eh? :D I'm glad you decided to read.

Part of the reason why I started writing this story was because of my own difficulties in finding realistic Marauder fics. Nearly ever Marauder fic I find, with the exception of one shots, is all about OC's dating certain Marauders. Even the ones after Hogwarts usually have Lily, Alice and an OC dating Sirius pregnant all at the same time, until the OC is tragically killed and Sirius is left heartbroken... I don't know. They are all the same. I'm glad you think this story is realistic, considering the reason it exists :D And I'm glad you can appreciate no OC's.

Actually, I have a minor confession that, so far, there is an OC. But it's a male and he's only around for a short time. His name is Ulfric, I hope you like him!

Peter is such a great character. I really have come to like him and appreciate him as I've written this story. I'm glad you liked his insecurity, I was hoping it would work well. I definitely don't think Lily would have ever hung out with the Marauders til she had reason to.

Anyway, good luck with your school work! I definitely hope to see you back, and I pray that none of the chapters disappoint.


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Review #24, by Memory_Dust 

3rd September 2009:
OMG! great story. i cant wait to read on!!!

Author's Response: Thank you! I hope you continue to enjoy it!

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Review #25, by Blissbug 

9th August 2009:
Hi Bibbs, here I am at last for your review! I'm trying to get through my list so I'm just gonna leave this first one, then come back for the second a bit later, kay?

I don't read a lot of Marauder fiction, finding it typical and unimaginative. This story though, as I read along was a very pleasant surprise. I found your pacing just enough to keep me interested, your narrative voice distinctive enough to keep me curious and your character development smooth enough to keep me guessing.

I mostly love though the POV of Peter. He's a great unsung character, as it were and to pick him as the POV for this one last feast, this jumping off spot for the rest of these people's lives, I love it! Brilliant move because you've used him to create tension, sympathy and mystery.

I also love the briefness of character description. I know that seems an odd thing to say, but I really noticed how, not only were your physical character descriptions limited, but also that the details you did pick were spot on and very effective. I also really appreciated how you used dialogue, reaction and environment to do a lot of characterizing for you ;)

Over all an interesting read. Promise to come back for chapter two!

8/10

BB

Author's Response: Hooray! Thanks for coming by, I know you are busy :)

Most people hate Marauder fanfic, which really sucks because I think its the most fantastic era and its like... everyone else has ruined it!! Those of us who actually try hard without cliche's and pairing have a hard time getting readers these days! I am glad the chapter was solid enough to keep you interested - being the very first chapter, that's pretty important, eh?

I love Peter - I feel so sorry for him and I've got a great reason planned for his betrayal, so that hopefully people can understand him and not hate him so much. I'm glad you enjoyed his POV - I was so wary of using his right off the bat instead of a more popular character's. I don't want to send people away screaming, but his seemed to work best for introductions.

I hate decriptions so much. I do try to limit it and I'm glad you appreciated that. Some people want more and some people want less.

I definitely hope you find time to get back for chapter 2, but if not, no big deal. Thanks for giving it a shot :) Your review was a joy to read and respond to.


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