6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Jane_Volturi 

6th August 2009:
Wow, i think this has got to be perhaps my most favourite chapter of this fantastic collaboration. I mean, the thought and effort that must have gone into this chapter, it was truly brilliant.
Firstly, the characterization was perfect. We'll start with the young Aberforth. He always gave off the impression that he was hot-tempered and ever so slightly arrogant, you really reflected that off of his character through you writing in a way that i could place myself in that secene without knowing any better and be positive the person speaking was Aberforth. The way he reacted to his sister's death was so realistic and beleivable, i felt so sorry for him in particular. Gellert just treated him like he was Albus's stupid little brother, and albus was too blinded with affection towards Gellert that he didn't realise how far apart he was drawing from his younger brother. I'm surprised it actaully took his sister's death for him to realise. You showed his realization so well through your writing, how quickly his mind had changed thorugh that moment. And Gellert, you showed perfectly the divide between him and Albus; and how power hungry he really was.
The plot was fantastic, despite the fact this was JK's original idea you carried this scene of perfectly, i couldn't have done a better job myself, this has got to truly be the best chapter yet of this collaboration, it really has to be.
The Spelling, grammar and Punctuation were all perfect and your writing was phenomenal, i really envy your writing style actually. Well done, this chapter was brilliant. Without a doubt the best one yet.

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Review #2, by ButterflyRogue 

9th December 2008:
Wow! This was a great chapter!! I really enjoyed the insight in Dumbledore's mind, you wrote him amazingly well.
Usually people see him as a man capable of doing the impossible because of his sheer awesomeness in the books, but you really showed a vulnerable side of him - a moment in his life when he witnessed the death of his little sister without doing anything to prevent the tragedy to happen. This is something he blamed himself for throughout his life and definitely a defining moment for him - the moment he finally realized Gellert was not doing the right thing.

The little elements of humor here and there were very well placed, giving the whole chapter a sense of irony, almost like trying to give it a feeling of an everyday situation --- because to someone emotionally detached from the family, it isn't the slightest bit unusual to have people dying every day. However, to the two brothers, it was the end of the world as they knew it --- Aberforth had lost the only person who never judged or rejected him and Albus had, aside from his sister, lost his faith in the man he loved and admired above everyone else.

This sentence was probably one of my favorites since it described the somewhat strained, yet still loving in a way, relationship between the two brothers: "Neither Albus nor Aberforth would realise for many years that they had not lost everything on this warm summer night, but that would not be until they reconciled and discovered that they had had each other all along."

The emotional turmoil in him was written so well. The shock, the sadness, despair, anger, disappointment, his loss of confidence in Gellert, all of these emotions flowed into one another flawlessly and succeeded in painting a perfect image of a turning point of Albus' youth and the moment that pointed him towards becoming the awesome guy we've met through JKR's books.

Congratulations!! This was an amazing piece of writing and an absolute pleasure to read.

~Vedrana (Rosie Nymphadora at eHPF)

Author's Response: Thank you! Dumbledore is probably my favorite character, and I think I love him in the same way many people love Snape - we erroneously see him as one thing through most of the books when he is actually tremendously flawed. So I wanted to do some kind of justice to his character. ^_^

For better or worse, I can't help but throw in a bit of humor in everything I write. xD But I'm glad you picked up on the irony and almost banality of the scene, because that was exactly what I was going for. Ariana's death was an accident and accidents don't happen in a grandiose fashion, they happen when you least expect them to. The final Al v. Gellert battle would have to be written in a more spectacular fashion, but I've always envisioned this scene in simpler terms.

I like that quote too. =) There's tragedy in the fact that Albus & Aberforth were estranged for so long, and I think people sometimes forget about that.

It's really difficult for me to write emotionally-charged stuff, particularly angst, (because I'm so darn emotionally shallow =P) so I'm glad you found Al's inner turmoil to be believable.

Thank you so much for this flattering and kind review! I'm just glad you enjoyed this chapter. =D


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Review #3, by Labby 

16th October 2008:
Yes, this certainly seemed like a powerful point in Dumbledore's life.. Ariana's death and the events that unfold afterwards... I really liked this moment. It was nice to see Dumbledore realizing the evilness of his friend and how he didn't even stop to consider his feelings on Ariana's death. Aberforth seemed like an entirely strong character in this story.. I liked his speech to Grindlewald a lot. It seems as if maybe Albus listened to that speech and was able to see his mistakes because of that. The two brothers really did have each other.. it's a shame they never were that close. I enjoyed your portrayal of Albus's story a lot!

Author's Response: Thanks! I really love examining the struggle between Albus and Aberforth - they were both so proud and self-absorbed for most of their lives that they never realized that they'd be stronger if they worked together and transcended their egos. Most of this is conjecture, I suppose, but it's how I interpret this branch of canon. =) Thank you so much for reviewing!


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Review #4, by Girldetective85 

16th October 2008:
As I said before, I'm so excited for your Dumbledore story! This chapter was brilliant. I STILL haven't read "We Gryffies," I swear I'm going to read it before the review-a-thon is over, but I can really see why you are such a wonderful and respected author just from reading this piece. The scene is so emotionally charged and you've done it so well, but I can also see subtle touches of humor which makes your work so original! I'm impressed that you can do that effortlessly without the story turning out half-hearted or cynical. Although I love the way you portray Albus (the wronged, tragic older brother) and Gellert (who is positively chilling) my favorite character here is Aberforth. He's so complex - I've always kind of gravitated towards the underdog and he just seems exactly that to me, always in the shadow of Albus, the one who has to take care of Ariana and the one who doesn't get all the glory. This was really well-written. 10/10

Author's Response: Thanks so much! Haha, "respected author" is probably not what people think of me after reading We Gryffies. xD Anyway, thank you - I very much enjoyed working with these characters, particularly in such an intense and emotionally raw happenstance. I love Aberforth myself - I didn't make him as complex here as I could have, but hopefully I can do him a bit more justice when I FINALLY write my Dumblewald fic. Thank you so much for your extremely flattering review, and I'm glad you enjoyed this mini fic!


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Review #5, by evil little devil 

10th October 2008:
This was brilliant! I've always wanted to read a story about Dumbledore, Ariana and Grindlewald. You wrote this amazingly, the description was amazing and you really captured Albus's emotions.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! Someday, in the distant future when I actually have free time, I want to write an entire Dumblewald novella, so hopefully I'll return to this era. ^_^ Thank you so much for your kind words!


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Review #6, by long_live_luna_bellatrix 

4th October 2008:
I saw this chapter had no reviews, and I had to intervene. This was a really well written chapter. It really showed Albus's feelings well. I think it was an accurate description of what happened the day Ariana died.

GREAT JOB! This was so good!

Author's Response: Aww, thank you! ^_^ I'm glad you enjoyed it - I quite liked writing it, in an emotionally draining way, lol. But Dumbledore is my favorite character so it's all good.

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