15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Jane_Volturi 

6th August 2009:
Wow, this was most definitley my favourite chpter yet. i love theway you to that whole ancient magic theory from 'Harry Potter And The Philosiphers Stone' and worked on it adding that whole God thing into it. It was a really stange yet original idea and i'm glad you decided to include it. It makes this story more different, more unique in a way.
The characterization was brilliant, everyone was in character, especially Harry. He was unsettled yet determined to carry out the task he would have to face to defeat Lord Voldemort. And i liked that doctor gut and the way you decided to include Ceceliain this as well.
The plot was quite alternate universe in a way, because you're not so much meddling with JK's plot more than adding things to it and making it all your own.
There were one or two slipups with your grammar where you jumbled up your word classes but your Spelling and Punctuation both seemed perfect.
Overall, a really enjoyable chapter to read.

Author's Response: Oh, I'm terribly sorry that it has taken me so long to get to this account and see your review.

I'm so glad you enjoyed my strange take on this chapter. I was convinced after HBP that Lily's wand had played an important part on Harry surviving when he was a baby. Of course, I was wrong but I liked the idea so I decided to write this from that perspective.

I just love mythology so I thought including these elements could be interesting. I feel extremely flattered about this review. Wow!

I'm especially pleased that you like the characterisation. This was my first attempt at writing in first person. Harry is my favourite character so I thought I try writing from his point of view.

It was a very long chapter but I couldn't really reduce it without cutting stuff off. I'm so pleased you really liked it and that it didn't bore you despite the lenght.

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Review #2, by Derek Zischke 

19th May 2009:
This chapter feels like it wants to be three different stories - one about hypnosis, one about Sumer and its gods, and one about Harry's acceptance of his inevitable sacrifice. Those three stories don't have a strong enough thematic link to chain them all together into a single entity, nor do they feel like enough time has been spent on each individually, and so as a result the chapter as a whole feels crowded and disjointed. I'm left wanting further exploration of the idea of hypnotherapy and how other aspects of Mesopotamian mythology map on to the Harry Potter universe - I just want to rip those parts away and let them be stories of their own, and have this story flow cleaner and lighter, free of baggage it doesn't need in order to be told. There's a lot of interesting concepts here, but it feels like most of them are like new trees under the canopy - crowded out and not getting enough light to grow.

Author's Response: Thank for reading and reviewing. I see what you mean in terms of the ideas need more "space" to develop. I think the problem is that as this is a colaboration and only one chapter was allowed per character I tried to explore too many themes. I normally write longish novels so I have more time to expand and explore, so I guess that's where it all gets crowded. I'm also aware of having a tendency to using multiple plots simultaneously. You may be right in that it was too much to mix together.

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Review #3, by Urvi 

29th January 2009:
Wow, that was long long long :)

That was an interesting concept, Harry trying to find out what happened when he was a baby even though I thought he knew everything about it and would want to move on in the future. Nevertheless, you wrote the story wonderfully. The dialogue of the doctor was done nicely, and his methods were interesting. Good job!

Author's Response: Thanks so much. Yes, because one character could only take up one chapter it was a bit of a feat to squeeze in all the information.

This story is pretty AU. I thought of hypnosis and the Pensive before DH. I was a bit disappointed to be honest that Lily didn't acutally used a spell because I always wanted to find out how she did manage to save Harry.

I'm glad you enjoyed this story and the dialogue. This follows very closely what would really happen in age regression hypnosis. I did tons of reading on that.

Thanks so much. x

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Review #4, by jetaway 

21st December 2008:
Hi there, it's jetaway from the forums. I'm so sorry that this review took so long to get to you, but now I'm here! :)

I have to say this was really interesting and quite enjoyable. I really like your writing style. Your use of Sumerian mythology was definitely interesting. Recently, I read the Epic of Gilgamesh so I wasn't entirely lost, but I was slightly confused because in Gilgamesh I believe Inanna was refered to as Ishtar. Perhaps leave a footnote spelling out exactly who the gods/goddesses are?

Excellent story in all!


- Jessica

Author's Response: Hiya,

Sorry I haven't been on this account for ages, with Christmas and everything, real life got just very hectic. My apologies for taking sooo... long especially since I requested the review.

I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter and feel very flattered about your comment re style. Makes my day!

Now, Ishtar and Innana are the same goddess. Innana is the Sumerian name and Ishtar the Akkadian one, so basically the same as the Roman/Greek gods which have different names respectively but same functions so to speak.

Thanks so, so much Jessica. x

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Review #5, by ButterflyRogue 

7th December 2008:
Wow... Just - wow. I know I've read this chapter several times when I first came to leave a review and now when I'm re-reading it to make up for the comment lost in the crash, I'm completley awe-struck all over again.

You've had me hooked from the very start. I understand this story takes place in your own AU version of DH --- Mysteries Unveiled and it also amazes me on how you've managed to pick up so many little "signs" so cleverly placed in the perivous books. This feels so real to me, you've gotten into Harry's head so well, I almost believed it was actually him telling the story.

The idea of hypnotherapy is very original and you've used it so well here. The disturbing childhood memories of little Harry were really heart-wrenching. :( The Dursleys really were so mean to him!

Also, I very much liked the way you've used Cecilia here. It's almost ironic how she seems to be the one to uncover the key to Voldemort's final destruction. I especially enjoyed the parts with the Sumerian mythology, being a mythology nut myself... :D It's so evident that you've done a great deal of reasearch and it definitely paid off with an amazing result.

The part that really got to me was the final one - the one where Harry realizes he is actually the final Horcrux. Once again, it is shown just how much his friends love and support him, you've shown that throughout the entire chapter.

I think I've mentioned this before, but I never really was much of a Harry-lover. He definitely has admirable characteristics, but there were always other characters I found much more interesting and attention worthy. However, I believe that with this chapter, you've managed to convert me. ;)

I really enjoyed this story, it was an absolute pleasure reading it! Unfortunately, I don't think this review managed to fully express everything that I felt while reading it, the one I left before (the one lost in the crash) was so much better in my opinion... I really should start saving all the good ones... ;)

Thank you so much for writing such an amazing chapter! *hugs*

~Vedrana (Rosie Nymphadora)

Author's Response: Vedrana,

Thanks, so, so much for reviewing this again. It's truly appreciated. Also, it is so encouraging and detailed!

I mentioned before the crash how much I appreciate this, especially since Harry is not your favourite character, although you still like him. It's funny because I did a few HP personality tests for fun and I come up as Harry most of the time, maybe that's why I found it easy to try to get into his head. As you know, this was my first attempt at writing in first person ever but I thought, okay, he's my favourite character, so maybe I can do him.

Your first review was fantastic too but this one is by no means any less detailed. I feel so incredibly flattered.

I love psychology and mythology and I thought in would be interesting to use these elements. Yes, I did a fair amount of research but I throroughly enjoying doing it.

Yes, the Dursleys were very mean to him and it is almost miraculous that he didn't turn out far worse. I'm glad that you think that his friends support shows throughout the story. They know him very well and they know what he is going through, especially towards the end. I was in fact convinced since HBP that he was an accidental Horcrux. I think Dumbledore planted several clues in this direction, even in much earlier books when he tells Harry that he can speak parseltongue because Voldemort, accidentally, transfer a part of him into Harry.

Cecilia for some reason got my imagination before DH, even though we only see her for a very brief moment. She was rich and spoilt once but circumstances change people and she is a very old lady here and a very knowledgeable one. She will feature in my novel-length too. Although the priest doesn't come up here, I thought it would be interesting to have two Muggle advisors of Harry who are a priest and a parapsychologist respectively.

Sumerian mythology is not as well known as other mythologies and I thought it would be interesting to weave this into the plot.

Honestly, your review has certainly made my day!

Hugs x

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Review #6, by FanofCards25 

30th November 2008:
Very good story. Very deep. I never would have thought to look at Harry's final revelation this way. The part with the Sumerian Mythology was a bit hard to follow at times, but for the most part, I got the gist. The story flowed very well and was very intriguing. I may just have to take a look at some of the other stories when my review que goes down. Keep up the good work .. and I would be happy to review anything else for you :)

Author's Response: Sorry, I replied to you earlier but it didn't show, it seems, so I'll do it again.

I'm so flattered by your comments, OMG! Yes, Sumerian mythology is rather obscure, not very well known but I did follow it at least 95%. I took a tiny licence with it (Inanna) in that she was far more a sexual goddess in nature, now the flood etc, I was sort of married to an archaelogist and believe me every civilisation has that! (I gather based on something real, my guess). I mean, ok, the Bible has it (common to Christians, Jews and Muslims) but beyond that it was there before that (the flood!). Believe me I research like possessed!

I'm so glad you enjoyed this by the way and thanks so much for reviewing. x

Thank you also for becoming intrigued about my writing generally, same goes, I'll love to review some of your stuff too! x

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Review #7, by zEthHPfrEaK 

28th November 2008:
Hello! This is zEthHPfrEaK from the forms (I'm FINALLY reviewing =D)
Oh my gosh! This is a great story! Your very good at manipulating our emotions... :)
Hah, torturing your readers by leaving us on the edge there, huh? * shakes head * How could you? j/k
Well, your pretty good at writing! Definitely! :)
Your excellent at putting us readers in suspense! I STILL have no idea what Harry is gonna do... l0l
But, if we WERE supposed to know what Harry was gonna do at the end (Which I don't think we were, but just in case), then, well, it wasn't really clear... at all. Which is why I assumed that we're supposed to finish reading not knowing what is gonna happen to him. Well, this gave me something to think about, huh? VERY interesting chapter!
One other thing that I thought was great: When Harry was talking about what he saw/felt/experienced(you get it, right?), he didn't have as great word selection as you did. Instead he was average at choosing which words to use, which is great!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review. I feel really flattered actually and I'm really pleased that you enjoyed this.

Yes, the ending was supposed to be open. He knows he is a Horcrux and that maybe the only way to defeat Voldemort has to involve his own death but he doesn't know for a fact what will happen although in his own mind he has the feeling that he would probably die (hence he tries to say good bye but cannot get himself to do so, for fear that his friends would stop him). I wanted to leave his final fate untold and let the reader decide if he survives or not.

Also, yes, I tried to make him sound a lot more casual when he is talking to the therapist, especially when he is viewing things from the perspective of a child. When he is narrating, he is about 18 but of course then when is under trance is regressed back to being much younger. I'm glad that the change in style showed there.

Thanks so much for this lovely review!

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Review #8, by Dilys Derwent 

21st November 2008:
hey it's Dilys from the forums sorry i have taken a while to review.

wow. that was really good. i didn't know anything about hypnosis or Sumerian gods and myths. it was really interesting and i actually felt like i had learnt something by the end of it. the end did feel slightly rushed though, considering how long you took on the beginning half. but i can understand that there wasn't much else to write. only a couple of errors i noticed:

'I have never even heard of this happening before.' even was in italics where heard should of been or none at all.

'was this just I wanting to believe that?' me not I.

and that is it. tiny things i know but there is nothing wrong with this story, which i am very pleased about because i enjoyed reading it so much. well done!
Dilys :)

Author's Response: Oh, thanks so much. Don't worry at all about having taken your time.

Thanks for pointing out the errors, the first one is a typo sort of thing, I wasn't meant to be in italics. The second one, I did like you did at first, and I believe one of my betas corrected me. I'll check that to be sure, thanks for pointing it out.

I'm really, really glad you enjoyed it. I have now read and about to review your one-shot "Alone," which I realise is a bit on the same theme and by the way, I thoroughly enjoyed.

I now I gave the ending less word-space (is there such a word?). Basically, because I wrote this for a collaboration I couldn't really go much beyond 10,000 and I could only do one chapter, otherwise, I think this would have been done at least over two chapters. I agree the ending seems a little rush but, in a way, I wanted for the pace to be faster at the end because what he discovers is just so damn terrible. I hope I did capture Harry's feelings though.

I did a huge amount of research for this piece and I'm very, very pleased that you enjoyed it! I'm so glad you really liked it!

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Review #9, by Labby 

16th October 2008:
Yay, I absolutely loved this story! I loved how you kind of taught me as the story went along... about the psychology and about the myths. Those parts are extremely interesting and kept me captivated in the story.. your research certainly paid off here. From the beginning of the story, you really suck me into it, and it doesn't feel like such a long story at all.. I think I've said that before, but it really doesn't. I love the psychology involved with Dr. Riley and I like what Harry learns from the sessions. It'd be horrible to hear about dying, but he takes it pretty well.. like you'd expect him to. At least it gives him some more warning than he had in the book, to prepare and to say his goodbyes. I love how this story worked out.. I loved all of the characters (the addition of Cecilia was nice) and I thought you just did an excellent job with this!

Author's Response: Oh, my Lord|! I've done it again today! I red Kelly's and your reviews at the same time and I had now responded to part of yours on hers!!! (senility setting on!).

That aside, thanks so much my babe for re-reviewing this. Funnily enough, I've been reading a book written by psychologist on HP and it blew my mind. Apparently, I knew some of what I was doing! (* in awe*)!!! I'll owl you on psycyhology and England later.

Now, to me, having a psychology student come up with this makes me feel like a goddess, honestly! I could cry! I only made a humble attempt at trying to work out what it would be like, after all.

Honestly, I was impressed about this before the server crash, and I'm massively so still! x

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Review #10, by Girldetective85 

16th October 2008:
Hi Victoria! This is one of my favorite chapters in the collab, no contest. I've read through it several times and each time, I find something else that I missed. The amount of research you must have put into this story is mind-blowing - I'm so impressed by the clarity of all the facts woven together into this narrative. It's an enormously long chapter but I found myself reading from beginning to end and not realizing how quickly it went! The description of Harry seeing the therapist was awesome. The way they ran through each memory and Harry's reactions to every unlocked scene from his past gave me chills. It takes one brave guy to agree to do this - after all, most of his memories are frightening and unhappy - which Harry is. I'm a huge fan of mythology and the way you wove in Sumerian beliefs was fascinating. I'm going to have to look those gods up. I also like the way you incorporated Voldemort's personal beliefs into the story - it makes sense that he would have such self-entitlement and delusions of grandeur. This was an awesome story. 10/10

Author's Response: Sorry Kelly, babe! This is trying my patience and I have as much as Harry! Argg!!! Not you but my replies going into a black hole or something.

I feel so flatter that it is untrue! You read this several times? In awe! *head sweals to Lockhart's proportions!*

Yes, Harry's memories weren't pleasant but he copes somehow. I'm reading something on that which I hadn't when I wrote this and wow! yeah, definitely! Poor kid!

Now, the summerian mythology, well, 90% is, to my understanding, accurate, but I have taken a little poetic licence here, not huge but for instance Inanna. Harry would be mortified to hear that she was in fact a very sexual and, at times, devious character. Okay, I did not lie in order to fit my plot but I put a spin on things. She is less sympathetict than she appears here (Inanna) but nothing as such is completely made up!

Hugs x

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Review #11, by LadyBookworm 

11th October 2008:
Hey morgana67! This is LadyBookworm from the HPFF Forums. You requested a review from me, so here I am. :P Before I begin to review this though, I'd like to apologize for the incredibly long delay. I've been rather busy lately so I wasn't able to read and review all your wonderful stories. Everything is back to normal now, though. :)

With that being said, I'd like to start by complimenting your amazing chapter pic. It's very eye-catching and beautiful. :) I'd also like to thank you for giving me the opportunity to read this amazing story. Had you not posted in my review thread, chance is that I wouldn't have had the pleasure of reading this. The plot is amazing. I have read many post-battle stories but this is by far the best I have read yet. I love the fact that it is so long; I love reading incredibly long chapters (strange, I know.. :P). The characters were all in character, especially Harry, with whom you've done a wonderful job. I'm impressed. :)

I find the fact that a Muggle is aware of the wizarding world a very unique idea. Your description and dialogue was flawless. I couldn't take my eyes off of the computer screen for a good fifteen minutes and that's saying something. You have captured my attention in many ways. I could feel what the character was feeling, see what he was seeing, etc. That's quite the accomplishment. :) I'm rather surprised at the lack of reviews, though. Surely people have noticed this amazing chapter. :)

I didn't notice any spelling/grammer/punctuation mistakes but, then again, I was much too absorbed in the story to pay any attention to that kind of thing. I'm not a fan of pointing out every single mistake that the writer has comminted; I'm not even good at that. :P

All in all, I loved it and will definately keep an eye out for more of your stories. Feel free to post in my review thread if you have any other stories you want me to look at. :)



Author's Response: Don't worry about the wait and also my apologies for the delay in replying but there was a problem with this account caused by the server's crash.

The wonderful chapter image is the work of Nevillesoulmate and yes, she did an awesome job!

I can't believe that this is your favourite post Hogwarts story. Wow!!! I always thought that some Muggles would know about their world and maybe able to help. Interesting point because Cecilia found out about magic for herself and then she became a professional parapsychologist. Maybe there could be a reason why her memory wasn't modified, although at that stage Voldemort didn't know what she saw (at the Riddle's mansion). Maybe Dumbledore sense that she could be helpful to Harry at some stage.

Harry, well, he is my sweetheart, so I'm glad you liked his characterisation and that you got into his character so much. I think I did too but as I said I love Harry and I identify with him a bit.

Thanks so much for your offer to read and review some more. I do have two one-shots and a novel length which is already very long and in progress but thanks for the offer, I will drop by your review thread.

Your review was wonderfully encouraging and also very detailed.

Thanks so much!

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Review #12, by CoyotegurlNikki 

11th October 2008:
I've finally finished reading and I absolutely loved it. I'm in awe over the length. A little over 10,000 words and the story did not lose my interest once.

The use of hypnotherapy was original and at first I wondered how it would fit with Harry but you've done an amazing job at making it flow. Seeing things from Harry in first person was also interesting, nice choice.

My favorite part was the very last paragraph. It was sad knowing the emotions Harry was struggling with and as always he does the noble thing. Great work!!


Author's Response: Thanks so much Nikki,

I'm so pleased that you liked it so much despite this chapter's length. I was a bit worried that its sheer size would put people off but I had a lot of plot to cover so, hard as I tried I couldn't condense this much more without it not making any sense.

This is the first time I have written in first person and it was a bit of a challenge, especially taking into account that he also speaks from the POV of a child at different ages.

I'm glad that you found the last paragraph powerful. Yes, he is brave and has to do the right thing but he is also sad and scared, otherwise he would be hardly human. Also, he is young, so he hasn't reach the level of acceptance that Dumbledore did when he faced death. It's kind of sad in my mind because had it not been for him being a Horcrux and for Voldemort's threat over the world, he could have been very happy at that stage; he has great friends a loving girlfriend and tons of money so his life could have been a pretty happy one.

Of course, I don't actually disclose the outcome of his encounter with Voldy and whether or not he does in fact survive.

Thanks so, so much!

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Review #13, by Joanne K 

10th October 2008:
Oh wow! I finally found the time to read this and I am left speechless! I think this is definitely your best writing to date. It was just so powerful. The detail you poured into this was phenomenal. And I'm not just talking about the research you did on the psychology and age regression and the Sumerian Gods, but also the detail of Harry's feelings, thoughts and emotions.

On a technical side, I loved that this was written in first person, it was so different to your novel, but I felt as a reader I could really get inside Harry's head. You did such a brilliant job of channeling his character and his voice. I did notice one or two minor spelling errors, but I was so engrossed in the story, I barely even noticed them.

I'm wondering if this has a lot of bearing on your novel, as it seems to relate quite a bit to your story line, but I guess I'll have to wait to find out!

Really fantastic job on this, Vicky. It really blew me away.

Author's Response: Wow, I feel so flattered. I think this is probably my favourite piece out of what I have written so far. I love Harry and I thought it would be interesting to write this in first person, and this was my first attempt at this. I made life a bit complicated for myself insofar as I had to put myself in his shoes at 18, 7, 5 and fifteen months. I'm glad that his voice came across well, that was one of my main worries, to be honest. Perhpas he is a little formal but in canon he doesn't get to be the narrator so I thought an 18 year old could easily narrate in that way.

I'll have to re-read this again and see if I can stop the errors. I never manage to spot them all no matter how I try.

Now, as for my novel. Well, the idea of using age regression is something I had in mind even prior to DH, and also the idea of using Cecilia in this capacity, so yes there will be strong similarities. As for Harry being a Horcrux well, I would ruin it for you if I told you but you have probably guessed anyway. The final encounter between Harry and Voldy will be trigger by something slightly different so there are certain differences. I just couldn't complicate the plot any more in one chapter (even if a huge chapter!) Of course in this story the ending is left open. It is suggested that Harry may die but it isn't definite.

Thanks so much babe! x

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Review #14, by evil little devil 

9th October 2008:
You did a great job with this :) I've never really like reading about Harry in fanfiction, but this was good. I could tell you'd done your research with it. The idea of child regression was great! It was really interesting seeing all those old memories from when he was little.

Author's Response: I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this even though you don't normally like Harry in fanfic. He's my favourite character and I thought I give this a go. Yes, I did a fair amount of research because I wanted the therapy elements to feel very real and for Harry's account from the POV of a child of different ages, to be age appropriate. I had the idea of using age regression quite a while back and I thought it could make sense. Primarily, he just wants to find out what Lily did but evidently the guy still have issues regarding his parents' deaths and the way he was treated by the Dursleys. I also wanted to take the opportunity to delve into his life as a child.

Thanks so much! I'm so glad you liked it.

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Review #15, by long_live_luna_bellatrix 

4th October 2008:
I saw this chapter had no reviews, and I had to come change that. I've read more of the chapters now, and this one remains my all time favorite. Thanks so much for requesting this on my review thread! It was so much fun to read. It obviously took a lot of research to make, and I appriciate that. It makes the story so amazing.

SO GREAT JOB! this is a definite 50/10

Author's Response: Wow, what a wonderfully encouraging review. I'm sorry I could not reply earlier but there was a problem with this account due to the server problem, which has only now been fixed.

Your comments made me feel really flattered indeed. Yes, I did a lot of research for this story but I love both psychology and mythology, so it was a pleasure in a way.

Thanks so, so much!

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