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10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by celticbard 

18th March 2009:
Hi Teresa!
Here I am with your review. Wow, I can't believe I haven't left feedback since December. Geez! That's a long time. How could I have possibly let this fantastic story go for so long? I'm very sorry for the delay.

So, to be honest, I'm more or less speechless when it comes to this chapter. To put it simply, this installment is phenomenal. The depth of emotion and character development is fantastic. And your imagery!!! I felt like I was standing in Malfoy Manor myself ^_^

I can't believe what a horrible villain Lucius turned out to be. Ugh. He definitely deserved what he got. And Draco and Astoria.wow. I could read a story just about them. You've created such a believable family unit.

I actually got teary-eyed when Ginny was finally able to see Nyah. The reunion was so bittersweet! Now I can only hope Nyah survives her rebelling magic.

I only noticed one minor error in this chapter.

The distinct "crack" of the house elf disapparating jolted Hermione from her own thoughts and she turned to the empty space Mitzi once stood.
This should be, where Mitzi once stood


Please feel free to drop by my thread again and request another review. I love this story! I hope you have a great week!

Best,
celticbard

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Review #2, by Unwritten Curse 

25th January 2009:
I'm finally here to finish your story. I almost don't want to read these last few chapters, because then I'll be done. :( All good things must come to and end...

'sobbing at her Mistresses feet' - should be Mistress's
'peeked from around her Mistresses' - same here
'whispers Mitzi' - should be whispered
'I donítí blame you - extra apostrophe
'spilling salty tears on the young girlís' - incomplete

... but at the vivid description from Greyback of paying a visit to the seaside this very evening to find a dark-skinned little girl playing alone by the shore in the moonlight, Georgeís laughter froze. - Oh wow. That sentence really struck me. Wow. I had to stop and gape at it for a bit. So much emotion, and chilling, too.

Teresa, can you send me a copy of your novel when you publish it? (: To put it simply, you rock! This chapter was outstanding, breathtaking, and so many other adjectives that I can't seem to find right now because I'm just in awe. Wow. Everything was just put together so wonderful... it all felt so real that I literally got chills. The werewolves, the Death Eaters torturing Ron and George, poor Nyah losing control, and then that ending! I'm going crazy here. Who did the spell hit!?

I wanted to quote so much during this chapter, just to tell you how amazing your wording was but 1) it would have been way too long of a review, and 2) I was too enthralled to stop reading for too long. Just know that you have such control over your words, and I am impressed beyond words. Beautiful chapter. 10/10, and I'd give you more if it was possible. Ah, I don't want this to be over.

Author's Response: Hi! Wow - what an amazing review! Thank you!!!

And there's lots of little mistakes here-and-there in this one (oops). :D Thanks for pointing them out! I'll be fixing them asap!

I'm SO glad you appreciated the Greyback scene! It was really powerful to 'go there' in myself and write like that... I actually got goosebumps when I wrote it! So I'm THRILLED that the emotion translated to you! It's very encouraging!

Gee... who did the spell hit? You know I can't tell you that yet! lol And when/if I publish a book of mine, you will most definately get a copy! :D

I didn't want the story to end either, but with every beginning there must be an ending... but with an ending, a new beginning can make an appearance... *wink*

Thank you for making it all the way through the story! I can't tell you how much it means that you've supported it this long!!! HUGS! :D


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Review #3, by Scribbler 

8th November 2008:
Up untill now, I haven't left one single comment, and the sole reason for that is simply beccause I didn't want to stop reading for even a minute. This is very very well written indeed. But here I feel for the first time that you actually rushed things a bit. You built up all this emotion for this confrontation in the library, and then, without really painting the scenery as good as you usually have done, it's all over in a few sentences that really doesn't give you a fair chance to actually comprehend the order of events. When all this effort har been put in to create this great story, the last 30 lines just feel overly rushed. Everything else, brilliant!!

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Review #4, by Labby 

16th October 2008:
I really like getting to re-read this and see some of the details I missed over and seeing it from the perspective of already knowing what's going on. Like I understand the comment now about why Astoria ruined the plan and I really like Draco's role in this. He's not my favorite character, but he's really honorable here. He does stand up against his father, and helps them all out. I like that a lot. I love the action and the adventure and just the mystery of this whole story. The way Harry and Ginny and everyone else fights for Nyah is so nice and it's just a beautiful story. Excellent chapter!

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Review #5, by chiQs09 

15th October 2008:
Hiya Teresa, here I am, re-reviewing. :)
I love the scene very much when Charlie and Hermione had that little conversation in the corridor. At least they know now that Astoria isn't really bad and that because of her, Lucius' evil plan isn't going well. I'm glad to read that Draco is such a wonderful person, marrying Astoria even though his father was against the marriage. :) And now he's helping his former "enemies" to escape from the Manor. :)

Poor Scorpius. I'm still curious about Lucius' plan and why he's risking his own grandson's life so that his silly plan with the Dark Lord can be fulfilled. ^__^ I think you just needed to create an villian in your story, because Lucius would never do anything harm to his own family, I mean frighten them, or whatever...

I love this chapter! :D

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Review #6, by Girldetective85 

13th October 2008:
Good for Draco! I remember feeling so much more respect for him in this story than I ever did. You've written him really well - from that arrogant, strutting kid at school he has definitely matured into a man of understanding. I can really see how much he loves Astoria and Scorpius and how much he had been struggling with the looming threat of his father all his life. The way you wrote Lucius (and all of the other villains, like Fenrir) was absolutely chilling. He's absolutely ruthless and evil, bent on fulfilling the last wishes of his master and bringing Potter down. I thought it was sheer genius when he began to blame Harry for leaving Nyah to suffer and be abused in a Muggle household, bringing to mind Harry's own unhappy childhood - this manipulation is a hallmark of the Death Eater rule. Lucius is THE quintessential Death Eater and you've written him beautifully.

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Review #7, by Bella_Portia 

12th October 2008:
This was a very cinematic, very action-packed chapter. There is less emotional content, more things happening.

The pacing is amazingly fast. And, as always, the best scenes are the (brief) ones with Nyah and Ginnie. I also liked the little scene with Mitzi the house elf, Charlie, Astoria and Hermione.

I don't think I've had much to criticize. But I will make a suggestion -- take it as you will. I would not mind if this chapter were split. If I had my druthers, it would be slowed down, so you could take more time with the many important events. The moment where Nyah passes her father the wand practically cries out for more exposition. If it were a movie, it would be a major moment -- it changes the trajectory of the scene. Similarly, parricide is huge; ofter doing in his father, I thought Draco deserved more of a moment.

And poor old Lucius seems to have gone completely round the bend. The more time spend explaining why he is so nuts, the better. (Yes, you do that in the next chapter. But he seems to be threading a very thin line -- somewhat like Bellatrix. More exposition of his character would be welcome.)

Don't get me wrong -- this was a very quick moving, compulsively readable chapter.

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Review #8, by Hermione Clone 

10th October 2008:
Oh. My. God!

I almost thought Harry was dead! Wow, you wrote that really well! I'm much happier that it was Lucius that fell, I have to admit.

Speaking of Lucius, I really like how you've characterized him. He's just so...insane it's so fun to read. Wow, talking to a painting of Voldemort-that was great! And the band of werewolves...*shudder* And poor Scorpius! Somehow, the title "Dark Lord" just doesn't suit him. I hope he'll be doing alright now.

I think it's so interesting how Draco is acting. I never would have seen this coming, since he was acting so much like typical Draco in the earlier chapters. I'm glad that, even if he has his own reasons, he's doing the right thing.

Ooh, that whole torture thing was nasty, but it really fit. You did a real good job at describing it enough so you could picture it well, but not so much that it became gruesome and gory and yucky.

Oh, I hope Nyah is going to be alright! At least they'll be able to get her out of there now (I hope).

Great chapter (and story)!!!

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Review #9, by JLHufflepuff 

8th October 2008:
I love the way you reveal the aspects of the relationship between Draco and Astoria - the way she kind of foiled Lucius's plan. Speaking of Lucius, the way he talks to his "master" is so creepy and so perfect for the story. I both love and hate the way he treats the captives. It's very chilling and adds to the sense of dark mystery and suspense. One thing that stands out to me this time is the way the family love that the Potters and Weasleys share just glimmers with hope even though very dark, dramatic, mysterious happenings are surrounding them at the moment.

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Review #10, by Mistress 

8th October 2008:
Wow, what an end to this chapter. It was amazing--especially Astoria. I loved Scorpius here--crying out for his father. So crazy. I loved it!

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