17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by BellatrixisFred 

1st January 2013:
I'll admit, a lot of the time your plot confuses me. Lily sort of came out of nowhere into the story and there are other little inconsistencies which for other stories are enough to make me look for another. But I know I'm going to finish this story because it's hilarious. Nellie is great, she's just so funny. I'm enjoying the randomness and hilarity. Also the Regulus backstory is very original and that dynamic interests me. But I mostly reviewed to applaud you on the creation of Nellie (and Izzie, she's good too).

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Review #2, by AnnaAlloy 

28th December 2011:
Oi, Nellie got herself into some deep crud. I think the chapter was beautifully written, and very descriptive. And I loved everything that had happened. You make the story very, well real. And that'll go a long way.

Author's Response: Haha, yes, she really had. And I'm glad you think that :) I love description :) Wow! You're too nice! Thanks so much for saying that, it's made my day! Thanks so much for the review and I hope you have a wonderful day! xxx

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Review #3, by Secret Santa *hands you a candy cane* 

27th December 2011:
Hey! This is your Secret Santa here, sorry if my reviews are getting short but I'm crunched for time and I really want to finish reading this and try to review the Human Factor. I'll try my hardest to give you as many reviews as I can! :D

Once again you're really showing the flaws in Nellie and the fact that she's not just this upbeat girl that makes ridiculous comments, she's childish sure but she has other sides to her. She said Sirius has layers? She really needs to take a good look at herself too. Nellie being 'unNellie' is what i enjoyed in this chapter. I like how she knows what she's doing is wrong (going after Lucas) but she does it anyway because she's a teenager and because she's hurt. I can recall so many times I have seen girls do the same thing because a boy has hurt them (go after their best friend? Sure! Hopefully that'll cause a fight...because that's healthy). Above all I think this story is something plenty of the younger girls that join the site should read because in a way you're teaching us (or them) lessons that I think they could learn from.

Toodles! :D

Author's Response: Heya :) Don't worry about it :) Im just so glad that you like my story, the reviews are a bonus.

Yes :) I try to show all the different sides to my characters slowly. Haha, yes :) She doesn't realize that about herself due to confidence problems. Yes! I thought it was realistic as we all make mistakes when we are hurt and do the wrong thing. Aw! Thanks that is a huge compliment! I'm so glad you think that as it is a lovely thing to hear and means a lot to me.

Thanks so much for the review and I hope you have a great day! Xxx

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Review #4, by Rexy 

30th October 2011:
Lucas why him ah i swear if there isn't major izze Remus coverage I'm gonna starting hurling rainbows I swear Im capable of such things :D

Author's Response: Haha, that made me giggle :) There is development on the Izzie/Remus front in later chapters :) And you'll discover the deal with Lucas later on ;) Thanks so much for the review, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story and I hope you have a great day! xxx

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Review #5, by foreverfleur 

29th August 2011:
I hate Sarah. Lucus is trouble. Sirius is still cute.

And, I love that Nellie has named her eyes.

Looking forward to the next chapters. Great job again.

Author's Response: Haha! You've summed up the characters pretty nicely. And thanks, I'm glad you like that about her character. I'm so glad you liked this chapter! I hope you enjoy the rest of the chapters! Thanks so much for the review.


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Review #6, by girly1393 

19th March 2011:
Oh Nellie, sometimes I wish you could see clearly.

Although I truly adore Nellie, I do believe Izzie is my favorite character. She's blunt and harsh and forgiving, which are things my best friend loves about me. (Okay, I'm biased :D)

Bravo to you

Author's Response: So do i, but aren't all our vision's cloudy sometimes?

I'm so glad you like Nellie. I love Izzie too! I'm more like Izzie too than Nellie! Izzie is just so fun to write! I love writing her! She just makes me laugh how she say anything and not care.

Thanks so much! I hope you enjoy the next chapter! I'll try to update soon & thanks for reading!

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Review #7, by Lillylover22 

11th March 2011:
i wonder what lucas did to sirius to make him hate him so much? i agree with izzy's speech. 9/10 =]

Author's Response: Hmm, you'll find out in future chapters ;) Yes, I agree with Izzie's speech too! Thanks for the review, I hope you like the next chapter and I'll try to write the next chapter soon. x

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Review #8, by Ignorance 

5th September 2010:
Things have suddenly got so much more complicated eh?
Ooooh can't wait to read the next chapter :)
10/10 :)

Author's Response: Oh yes, they have ;) which means a lot of fun :D
I hope you enjoy it.

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Review #9, by CessZ 

16th August 2010:
I Love Nellie and Sirius to pieces but what they are doing is uttery wrong!! *sob*
I'm really curious as to what happened between Sirius and Lucas though. *thinks about different possibilities*

Well thinking doesn't help...going off to the next chapter for info...hope its there!!


Author's Response: I know :( Silly people. Hehe. You'll find out eventually ;) I hope you enjoy the next chapter. xxx

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Review #10, by katebabelovesharrypotter 

25th July 2010:
I hate when Nellie's sad. She's so sweet; she doesn't deserve it.

Author's Response: I'm glad you feel that way. But Nellie being sad adds some interesting plot twists a long the way ;)

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Review #11, by Myriad 

15th July 2010:
“It did bounce off your head nicely though.” I remarked, “Though, I have to agree. We’ve come so far in our unlikely friendship.” Try not to use ‘though’ so close to each other. It makes the sentence read weird. I think you should drop the first one.

I think you should try to use the character’s names less in the dialogue as well. The way you’ve written it sounds very formal. Sirius and Nellie are close enough friends that they wouldn’t talk like that. Try listening in on a conversation once. Pay attention to the way the people talk, how often they address each other by name, how formal the dialogue is, and what kinds of things make it formal or informal. The best way to get good at writing dialogue is to eavesdrop on conversations.

“Sirius replied, looking straightforward and not at me.” Straight and forward should be separated here. That’s not the correct use of the word.

“See, sometimes they don’t mount to much.” Amount to much

I love this chapter! Izzie’s such a good friend, and Sirius is such a fish finger, and the rest of them just don’t get it.

I like to take notes as I read so I don’t forget the things I want to comment on, but I read this one all the way through without writing anything down because I was pretty much captivated. I had to go back through and read it again.

You do still have some issues with tenses and grammar and wording in a few places, but they were fewer so the chapter flowed so much better which I think was a huge part of the reason I got so caught up in it. You have not written a single chapter that doesn’t have the potential to do this, it’s just the mistakes that are messing you up.

Excellent chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks for pointing that out for me. I never noticed I used them so close together. It's okay when you say it aloud, but to read it, it doesn't seemed right. I've changed it.

That is good advice and I shall try it out. I didn't realized I used the characters name a lot, but you're right. I can see it now that you've pointed it out. So I'm off to go and earwig on other people's conversations ;)

I put a space in there & I changed the other one.

Thank you! And yes, you pretty just summed them all up!

Really? Wow. Thank you! That is a huge compliment. I'm glad you're liking the story so far.

Thank you! I know that and I'm going to try and work on it really hard.

Thanks for the amazing review!

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Review #12, by anyakneesxoxo 

11th June 2010:
I'm rereading this.and my heart just broke, all over again.

Author's Response: Wow. You're rereading? That's amazing!

And I'm sorry :( Things will get better eventually :)

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Review #13, by HP FanFic Lover 

1st November 2009:
There was a reason for her revenge...!

I would've agreed with Nellie in decisions, but I'm reckless, and immature, so...

Oh, I love Izzie!
She's so... THE BEST!
I wish my BFFFL was like that!

...But my best freaking friends for life are cowardly, jerks.
They're sorta Slytherin.

Whereas, I should've either been Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, or Hufflepuff.

I'm so modest, aren't I?

Okay, off topic, I feel so sorry for Nellie!

Author's Response: Of course there was. Haha, Nellie is too. So am I really...

Izzie is awesome.
ohh not so awesome :(

haha, quite a lot of choices. i have a feeling i would have ended up in hufflepuff :(


me too :(

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Review #14, by vampire girl 1944 

10th July 2009:
now im crying!!!



Author's Response: silly boys eh ;(

thank you x

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Review #15, by Spiffy_Griffy 

24th June 2009:
Wow, after reading the end of this chapter, I don't feel like pointing out the funny parts. But don't worry, they were there :D Also, I just reminded myself of a song by Sara Bareilles called Gravity. This is a bit late, but I think it really captures Nellie's feelings toward Regulus from the first few chapters. Hopefully you can listen to it once! Now I'm off to read the next chapter!

Author's Response: It's a bit sad :(
i love her, esp love song & fairytale, i think it is.

Thanks a lot. I will give it a listen.

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Review #16, by dianap00 

22nd January 2009:
Wonderfully petty, perhaps?
Nah. Just plain old petty.
Not that there is anything wrong with that. To be honest, I like that she decided to do something. No one ever does anything. Usually there is just a whole lot of moping.
How can he be upset when he choose Sarah, I know I read this chapter before but for some sodding reason I hoped that he'd just tell her that he is mad for her in that classroom or when they got back to the common room. But he didn't. And that isn't Nellie's fault.
I love Izzie. She is such a perfect specimen as a best friend. What a ridiculously awesome kid. She makes Remus blush with a look. 'Nuff said.

Author's Response: I always thought that people can be walked over, pushed around and such until they break and Nellie broke. Pushed around too much.
Sirius has reasons. I can't wait until everything is revealed. Sometimes it makes me sad that it's Nellies story and that would make it weird to change povs.

I'm so glad you love Izzie, I've become quite fond of her too. i try to balance out her character by being who she is but also a good friend.

thank you so much.

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Review #17, by The Golden Trio 

5th October 2008:
Oh, the drama! Why did Sirius pick Sarah anyway? I bet she blackmailed him or something. ;-) Poor Nellykins. She needs to get happy.

xoxo TGT

Author's Response: That will all be revealed in the future ;D

Yeah, she does. Won't happen for awhile though, I'm getting to like Lucas xD

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