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16 Reviews Found

Review #1, by jtz 

29th May 2015:
love the story, thank you

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Review #2, by The Wizard of Potterland 

29th October 2011:
It was perfectly lovely. I think it really described Percy well.

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Review #3, by Jane_Volturi 

5th August 2009:
Wow, this was very different to what i normally read, usually i wouldn't touch a Percy fanfiction but your choice of chapter title just grasped my attention straight away. It was the perfect description of Percy's situation. Anyway, i'll get to th review now.
Characterization:
Percy: Very in character, you showed another side to him, you showed the struggle inside his head, the difficulty of swallowing his pride or remaining too pompous. and you made it realistic, i could really beleive this was coming from Percy's point of view. I even felt sorry for him.
Aberforth: Definitley in character, especially the line where he snapped at Percy 'are you a Weasley or not?' that part was gold. Good job with him.
Plot: This plot woves so well into the book, it was like a missing part if you get what i mean, very intriguing and very well written.
Flow: This flowed really well, nothing stuck out as odd or out of topic. It was all brilliantly composed and i loved it.
Grammar: This was really good as well, there were times when you jumbled your word classes up but i think you got away with those hiccups just about :)
Spelling: That seemed perfect, at least i disn't stumble across anything.
Punctuation: Perfect, this was spot on.
Descriptive Language: This was spot on as well, your description weren't too heavy, but there was enough detail in there to ensure i had a crystal clear image in my head. I could really reale to Percy and i could understand his thoughts and emotions without any difficulty.
Overall, a very unusual yet original idea for a first chapter. Brilliantly done, a definite 10/10
Katie

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Review #4, by Princess Of Hugs 

7th March 2009:
Aw! *Using a box of tissues to stave the flow of tears* How adorable!

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Review #5, by George Whitman 

6th February 2009:
Finally some justice for Percy's character! I have always been intrigued by Percy's character in the Harry Potter series, someone who is obviously a smart person yet often acts as a punching bag for his family members because his short wit. This story adds long overdue tidbits into Percy's life. The story of redemption is always a essential, because we all make mistakes. We all need to hear it sometimes and if done correctly, it can truly inspire. Momotwins, you've done it again. Well done!

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Review #6, by Natures Nobility 

17th December 2008:
this is brilliant
you deserve your prize

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Review #7, by Pookha 

23rd November 2008:
Hmm, I thought I had already reviewed this. Maybe it was lost in the server crash.

I thought this was a brilliant portrait of Percy, torn between his own ambition and his loyalty to family and to what's right. Your portrayal of his angst is very well-done without ever devolving into hand-wringing, cliched melodrama.

I like Aberforth mentoring him a bit, offering advice that he might have taken at one point to reconcile with Albus.

I've been trying to write Percy's POV and failing, so I understand the challenge of this and I appreciate the hard work that went into it, getting into the mind of a character that has redeeming qualities, but you have to look deeper to find them.

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Review #8, by ButterflyRogue 

30th October 2008:
First of all, I absolutely must mention the wonderfully detailed beginning. The exquisite description of Percy's surroundings simply pulls a reader right into the story, I was hooked from the very first sentence. Just by managing to compose such an amazing beginning, makes you an amazing author already... :)

The depth of your comparisons is also amazing. You draw a very vivid parallel with his surroundings and the memories such scenery evokes. It's almost like reading poetry!

Your characterization of Percy is just perfect! You've definitely given him an entirely new dimension. He's a complex character nobody gives a second thought to, I never really cared much for him myself, but this story definitely changed my perspective on him.
You've shown Percy's struggles very well. It must have been so hard for him to swallow his pride and admit his mistake. You've shown different layers of his character and defined him better than he had been defined in the actual books, especially in the scene with the mirror, when he hopes to be just as his father - something that he, at first, wanted to deny. Percy is such an underestimated character, most authors simply ignore his existence, but you've characterized him so fully and so realistically, I could practically see him as a whole person stepping out of the boundaries of HP books and fanfiction.
The reason for his frequent visits to Hogsmeade - to look at Hogwarts and remember his glorious days as a Prefect, Head Boy and a star student - was a very nice touch. It shows exactly how far had his ambition driven him and how deep his remorse in fact was.

I also liked the introduction of Aberforth as a sort of an adviser and the person who called for him when the actual fight started to take place. I like Aberforth very much for some reason so it's no wonder I liked him here as well... :D

Some of my favorite parts:
"He kept going to work, because he did not know what else to do. Arthur Weasley came in to work every day with his head held high, saw the evil around him and stood against it. He spoke harshly to those he saw committing injustices, even though it put him at personal risk. He stood strong for Dumbledore's memory, and continued to press for Muggle rights in the face of a government that did not even see Muggle-born witches and wizards as human. Percy was proud of his father, and ashamed to be his son because he did not believe he could be as good and brave a man as his father was." - this is such a good description of both Arthur and Percy. It's almost ironic how much it brings them together and drives them even further apart at the same time.

"But somehow nothing had gone right after he'd left home, and the person he'd tried to be had never been real, and the person he became instead was not someone he would ever wish to be. He had cut himself off at the knees, destroyed the very roots that would have steadied him through the storms, and now he was alone, without an anchor in a sea of evil." - so beautifully said...

Amazing job! It was such a pleasure reading this beautifully crafted story...

~Vedrana (Rosie Nymphadora at eHPF)

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Review #9, by Bella_Portia 

26th October 2008:
This was such a wonderful beginning.

Percy is such an unsympathetic character, one does not usually think about what it would have been like for him to cut himself off from the family that would have been his support system from birth. It is hard to imagine a closer family than the Weasleys. You absolutely got at the agony of loneliness that terrible Percy would have endured. A prat, yes; but a suffering prat.

The scene with Aberforth was really well done, as giving Perc that catalyst to do what he knew he had to do; and the reconciliations scene was written beautifully. It was a pleasure to read it again.

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Review #10, by JLHufflepuff 

26th October 2008:
In reading this a second time, I started thinking about how titling this chapter "Prodigal" is just awesome. When you think of the actual story of the prodigal son, you think of someone who was totally rebellious and depraved. Percy, though he diverged from the norm of his family, was actually the one who walked the straight and narrow - so much so that he lost sight of what was important. I love the way you develop his emotions and lead him to Aberforth and to the Battle of Hogwarts where he reunites with his family... *tears*

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Review #11, by Labby 

16th October 2008:
Wow, what a perfect way to begin the collab! I just loved this story. I really loved that it was Aberforth that helped Percy through the times. Those two characters both seemed to have been pretty alone, yet at the most lonely of all times, they came together and got to share at least some moments. And I'm glad Aberforth gave that push for Percy to do what he did. I'm sure it was incredibly difficult for him to go back to his family after he did, but he showed some true Gryffindor bravery there. I really think you showed a really good side to Percy's character... I enjoyed this a lot!

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Review #12, by Girldetective85 

15th October 2008:
Megan, honestly if you wrote a phone book, I would read it cover to cover. I get blown away every time I read your work. Please get published. I'll buy everything you write even if it's a haiku on a Hallmark coffee mug. I did cry the first time I read this (big surprise) so it wasn't anything new when I got the whole tingly-nose, misty-eyed feeling upon reading this again. Percy is one of those characters that people love to hate (he's right up there with Umbridge and surprisingly, Cho Chang) but I never felt much of anything for him. This piece brought him vividly before my eyes and I began to think - yes, he really did suffer too, didn't he? He did something wrong and then he manned-up and went home and confessed it to his family. What could be more Weasley than that? The opening scene where he stood alone on the bridge contemplating his life was incredibly moving and poignant. This is a boy who has all the Weasley pride and has recently acquired a little common sense - that's one heck of a difficult combination. A weaker person would probably have hidden forever, but Percy summoned the strength (with a nudge in the right direction) to admit his wrong. Love the scene where he looked into the mirror and saw his father, something he used to hate but now something he cherishes. Sheer brilliance - I can't praise this piece enough. 10/10

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Review #13, by evil little devil 

9th October 2008:
I can't believe you just made me cry over Percy of all people. I never ever liked him one bit and you just made me cry. Your description was flawless, absolutely stunning to read. You wrote it so beautifully, I absolutely adore it!

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Review #14, by Georgia Weasley 

9th October 2008:
You know that this chapter just moved me to tears, and over PERCY. He's the Weasley I would have been happy to offer as the token death in the Battle. He was the idiot we loved to laugh at and hate. But here you go, making him all human and stuff, and I can't hate him anymore. I actually feel sorry for the pompous idiot! I still would rather have my Freddy back, but I wouldn't offer Percy up on a silver platter anymore. The connection you built between him and Arthur was so beautiful. When you wrote that he 'craved' his father's acceptance, I could feel exactly what you meant. Brilliant.

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Review #15, by long_live_luna_bellatrix 

4th October 2008:
So I had to leave a review for this, when I saw you lost so many. It's no surprise it won the Dobby! I love this chapter so much. It really gives you a look on Percy you never saw before. I read this and almost cried. It was that sweet.
So, great job, this was awesome, and this is the reason this is on my favorites!

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Review #16, by Ron_Hermione_Forever_246 

3rd October 2008:
Well, I don't really remember anything I said last time, but I'll do my best!

I LOVE all the imagery in it. It is completely fitting for both Percy and the story as a whole. The darkness and emptiness of Percy's life is reflected in the mood of the story. I really feel for Percy in a lot of ways, and your story only made this feeling stronger. You managed to humanize him. In the books (aside from DH) all we really see is someone who strives to do his best and be the best - he rarely shows emotion - and so this was a real treat to read.

My favorite line was, "and the twins looked as if they did not feel 'fool' quite covered the enormity of his own stupidity". That really made me chuckle. I love that Fred was the first to accept him back, because I always saw the twins as treating Percy the worst. Mrs. Weasley hugging her son was absolutely adorable, but I really loved when Arthur hugged him. "He was home at last" is such a perfect way to end it.

Congrats on a great beginning to the collab!!

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