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14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by celticbard 

28th December 2008:
And so it starts...just as Draco put it! ^_^ Wow, what an amazing chapter, Teresa. I'm literally sitting on the edge of my seat. There were so many fantastic elements, Astoria and Draco's guilt, the Weasley/Potter siege of Malfoy Manor, Nyah's daring escape and to top it all off, a fabulous cliffhanger.

How fitting it was for Ginny to be the one to find Nyah. After all her years of feeling responsible for her loss, she was finally the one to save her daughter. I nearly had tears in my eyes when Nyah pulled away the Invisibility Cloak ;)

Also, I wanted to commend you for writing Hermione/Ron and Harry/Ginny so convincingly. After reading DH, I honestly couldn't picture them married as adults, but you have managed to make their relationships real, genuine and caring.

And I have to say, both Draco and Astoria have my complete sympathy. It seems as though they are victims themselves. I do hope the Weasley/Potter crew can help them somehow.

I only noticed two minor errors in this chapter. They are as follows.

"The burns are more intense this time and the saave isn't taking out the redness and streaking, not to mention the pain he's in,"
This should be, salve

The two women set out for the fireplace in the entrance area, preparing to floo to the Malfoy Manor as Healer Sabinsky stayed close, reminded them that getting Nyah to St. Mungo's was a priority.
This should be, as Healer Sabinsky stayed close, reminding them that...

This was a wonderful chapter, Teresa, one of my favorites. Please feel free to drop by my queue and request again. Happy holidays!

Best,
celticbard

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Review #2, by Unwritten Curse 

29th November 2008:
I didn't find a single grammar mistake in this chapter. -cheers- Great work! This was one of my favorites. Everything flowed and nothing seemed forced or rushed. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. Wow! And now I can't wait for an update. How is Nyah going to help Ginny? What's going to happen now that they are both out in the open, exposed? And where did they take Harry? Can Astoria and Hermione come to their rescue? I'm so anxious to see what happens!

You build suspense like a pro. It's incredible to read. (: I really don't know what else to say except congratulations on such a great story, and I'm sure you can write an equally great ending (which I'm looking forward to reading). Don't worry too much about it. It'll just come to you, either as you are writing it, or shortly beforehand. You'll have an epiphany, and suddenly, it'll all just flow. I have faith in you. (: Oh, and an easy 10/10 for this chapter.

... And that's it for the reviews I had already left for you. Only two more chapters? Wow, I'm so tempted to just read them now. Stupid finals! ):

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Review #3, by Ignatz 

13th November 2008:
I was going to offer reviews at the end of each chapter, but I couldn't stop reading. This is very good stuff. The premise is believable, the plotting is tight, and the characters are all well elaborated. All in all, a thriller worthy of Faye Kellerman! Several hundred out of ten for you!

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Review #4, by JLHufflepuff 

26th October 2008:
The first section is so suspenseful in my mind. I get the sense that they need to hurry because time is running out. I love that you have everyone in character. Harry is busily plotting the rescue – I mean, what else would he be doing. Ginny is worrying about her daughter, feeling guilty, and coping by joking around with George. And having mentioned George, I LOVE your portrayal of him using humor to try to comfort and calm everyone during this situation of tension. The joke about the Ferret Grease was just perfect! Also, while waiting for this chapter, the fact that Molly had “used” Veritaserum kind of started to bother me, so I’m glad that you revealed that she never actually used it on her family! J

A few small things from this section: the parents who love her – should be “parents who loved her.” There was so much about Nyah that she didn’t know, and she may never have the chance to find out. – should be “might never have the chance to find out.”

The scene in the hospital when Astoria appears while Hermione is there is sooo – dramatic. I sense her worry and frustration about what is happening with Draco and sense that she is quite trapped. I like the way you’ve developed her character. Again, tension building …. ARG!! Must continue reading!

The interactions between Lucius and Nyah and Draco just pierce my heart. Seriously. I can feel the cruelty dripping from all of Lucius’s actions, his determination to do away with her. Does it have something to do with him wanting to ultimately defeat something about Harry? I also feel so bad for Draco, who is so trapped and seemingly powerless yet also very remorseful and guilty about what has happened. I really hope that he has some kind of heroic role in this story…. Oooh…. Now I have a bad sense of foreboding about what happens to him, actually ….. And – the connection of the similarity between Lucius’s eyes and Catherine Stewart’s eyes – is that just talking about the expression in them, or am I picking up on a family relationship….? Just one question – was Voldemort’s wand really ivory? I can’t remember.

I bet it was so awful for Ginny to get stunned a left behind, but I was so happy when Nyah found her.

Now I am dying for more! I can understand why you broke this chapter off, though. I always do that, too… My mind is swirling with the possibilities of what could be happening!! You are a truly amazing writer; never underestimate your tremendous gift. This is wonderful and truly deserves all the praise it has received from everyone.

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Review #5, by ButterflyRogue 

20th October 2008:
Amazing chapter!!! I thoroughly enjoyed it!

"Why couldn't I save her like Lily saved Harry?" --- this was so sad... but Ginny will be there to save her now, won't she? especially now when the two are reunited again.
Nyah's pain, by the way, was so real. Very well written.

And my heart is breaking for Draco as well... I have this dreading feeling he won't end up all that well :( And Astoria and little Scorpius... :( :(
Also, I'm looking forward to the further explanation of Lucius' motives. I'm a bit confused at the moment... :/

I really enjoyed this chapter, as always!

Hugs!

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Review #6, by onestop_hpfan18 

13th October 2008:
I really enjoyed the suspense that you wrote in this chapter. You truly have a talent with writing suspense, almost as good as Mary Higgins Clark; my favorite suspense author. wink.gif

The little parts where Ginny and Nyah were communicating to one another via their thoughts were just as suspenseful and left me on the edge of my seat just waiting for the next scene to unfold. Also, I'm curious as to who that man that Ginny first ran into when she entered the manor. I'm thinking it was Fenrir Greyback because I got a shiver run up my spine... that werewolf gives me the creeps.

I'm so happy that Nyah found Ginny and their together now. But what about Harry? What's going to happen to him? They aren't going to tortore him, are they? Please, please, update soon. I don't think I can bear anymore suspense! 10/10 (:

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Review #7, by morgana67 

12th October 2008:
Ah, you are still leaving us hanging in here bitting our nails!

You are very good at action and at maintaining most of the mystery, whilst revealing a few things.

I'm glad that you have made Draco have a conscience (unless there is another twist, of course). I still don't quite understand where he fits in exactly but I had a feeling from that he might had been a victim of some plot himself

This is getting more and more exciting. Honestly, you were worried about the ending being anticlimatic and it's just so much the opposite (well, I know this is not yet the end). If you maintain this level of tension is going to be really nerve wraking.

I have a feeling that this wand is going to have something to do with the reversal of the spell that was placed on Nyah and that she is just about to cause a huge amount of mayhem. Now, I do fear that someone may die though...

Oh, I just so much want to know more.

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Review #8, by shadowycorner 

12th October 2008:
Imagine how amazing it was when I logged in today after a horrible night of fever and feeling sick and I found an update. My head is spinning now and I could use a hug and some tea, but reading this immediately was so worth it. This chapter had everything. I love how you delved into action and pulled it off brilliantly, with the well-paced narrative, vivid description and the transitions from settings.

She grabbed the cloak from Harry and looked him in the eye. Silent but fierce words were exchanged, unnoticed by the rest of the room. He reached for the cloak, which was now held behind her back and pulled her close. Their eyes never parted as his lips caressed hers gently, a promise exchanged between them. "Together," she whispered, leaning her head to his chest as his arms wrapped around her, "I need to be there for her, you know that, right?"

Beautiful capture of the essence of Harry and Ginny's relationship. And this chapter showed it even more, but this one paragraph really got the breath of mine stuck in my sore throat.

The trio was swept away in a sea of green flames, all hoping that their arrival would go unnoticed by the rest of the house...but you rarely get what you hope for. - This is just a note, but I thought the last line kind of disrupted the narrative. Maybe it would sound better without the foreshadowing?

And another note...when Charlie comes to St. Mungo's and says to Hermione they can't stop the others now...what about the Patronuses? Couldn't they send one?

But really, I loved this. I'm glad how the veritaserum thing ended. After all, it would be a nasty infilitration into her kids' privacy had she been really using it. But the way it wrapped up and all the things Molly said...it was gorgeous. Those words uttered, by Arthur's side, at the brink of another battle, their love and fears resonating through the air. This is what I love most...you have the characters so perfect. Each one of them. They're real and they're amazing, and they have their flaws, but they make one believe in all that is still good, like love, the power of family and things like that. Now see what that one paragraph's done to me? It was strong, perhaps even because of its subtlety. "Exactly once - tonight. It's rather like an umbrella...you hope you don't need it, but it's there just in case you do. Some of the best weapons are the ones left unused. Besides," she said lightly, pulling away to pour the tea, "You lot gave away secrets all on your own, with no magic or potions pushing it along." I mean, really...

The St. Mungo's part...I have to take my hat off for that brilliant piece of description. I mean, the way you described the library was pure awesomness, what with Hermione's reaction to it. I could smell the scent of the parchment, see the dust settling and feel the knowledge waiting to be discovered. Once again a little thing, but proving you don't only get the characters right, you also know how to write and you do it ridiculously well.

Draco caught me completely off guard. Astoria did too, but the part when Draco says to Nyah...soon enough, it made me shiver. I just felt for him so much. When he first came into the story I hated him, and I love how more there is to him. Now I really see his plan and the way Nyah's capture was, for him, inevitable. It tugged at my heart that now he wants to help her somehow and I'm wondering what will he do next. As for Lucius, you get it all down fromt the hiss in his voice to the malice lingering in his eyes. He's horrible and I hate him. Which means, great job.

Now the ending gave me shivers just as well. I'm still in such an awe how you come up with these scenes that all tie up to each other. It's just such powerful unpredictability of life and the power of a moment...Nyah was so strong in this chapter and I am really, really proud of her. I'm running out of things to say again and it seems I will be only able to ramble feverishly from now on. I need to take my medicine anyway, so...Teresa, this was amazing, packed with action and I almost despise you for leaving me hanging AGAIN! Lol, I also like how the story's getting longer and longer. But I have to say I'm rather looking forward to the ending and hopefully it will be the reunion of Nyah with her family. Oh and did I say how much I love Hermione's role in this? I mean, yeah...Harry and Ginny are Nyah's parents, but the way she cares about this little girl and it was she who brought her into this world and believed in her...I love that. These two characters have a beautiful, heart-wrenching connection. And that's all. Teresa I can't wait for the next chapter and I don't want to rush you or anything, but I really hope you update soon. Don't let any Blast Ended Skanks upset you!

Elizabeth

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Review #9, by chiQs09_II 

12th October 2008:
Don't be mad when I didn't read and review this earlier, but I wanted to wait for the story to finish before I read it! Now I couldn't resist... *sigh*

I love it, as usual. All characters are so canon!!! Amazing! And thank you for making the-love-of-my-life-Draco a good guy! :) *fangirl*
How awesome this chapter is!
I knew Ginny had been hit by the first stunning spell because nothing came when Harry waited for her attack. How lucky Ginny was, though, when her daughter found her! :)
I thought at first, when Nyah went to that room, that she would stumble over Lord Voldy or something, but no, the dark corridor just lead her to her mom!

I was wondering about something:
How powerful is Lucius that even Draco and Astoria can't do anything against him?
Where's Narcissa? Did I miss something? Or is this the first time you've mentioned her disappearance?
And most important question:
Where's Scorpius? hehe

Love the chapter... please update son.
~Mitch

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Review #10, by Girldetective85 

12th October 2008:
I can't believe I didn't even notice when you updated!!! :( Just goes to show you how out of it I've been and I really apologize. I read this chapter three times just now, and it got better every time I did. I also picked up a lot more each time I read, since there was so much information to absorb and I didn't want to miss any of it since I was going along with the action! So we've come to the showdown at Malfoy Manor! I was really anticipating this and I'm so glad that you had Ginny go along with Harry, since she is a woman who would definitely not sit at home and wait for the menfolk. But I'm getting ahead of myself...

I loved the scene at the Burrow when everyone was getting ready for action. Everybody's characterization is still pitch-perfect for me. I love that Hermione had conjured up a chalkboard for people to write on and make lists and draw timelines; that is SO Hermione. Ginny's banter with her brother was wonderful, as was the scene between Arthur and Molly - this family is just so amazing and close-knit, I feel like they're real people that I know. I'm really, really hoping that Nyah gets out of all of this okay because it's going to be like heaven for her, living with these people after escaping the Stewarts.

I like Astoria a lot, but I'm kind of wondering what her deal is. Knowing what kind of man her husband is, and what mind of person her father-in-law is, and going against them, I wonder what's in it for her to help Hermione? Perhaps she wants to protect Scorpius, but wouldn't they be better served just running away together from Malfoy Manor? Her father-in-law wouldn't go looking for her since he's so busy with the whole Nyah business. I wonder why she is involving herself since she understands how dangerous it is, and has a child herself...

It seems like Draco has a heart, though, since he felt guilty about Nyah having been kept away from her family for so long. Poor little girl sad.gif I love that she kind of sassed Lucius back, saying that Voldemort wasn't so great since he got killed. She's got Ginny's spunk, that's for sure.

I can't believe the story is almost over. This chapter was definitely one of my favorites and I cannot wait to see how it all plays out. GREAT JOB as always! :)

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Review #11, by Bella_Portia 

11th October 2008:
I have a confession. Some time ago, around the time this chapter was first posted, there was some discussion of whether people would like the ending, or not. So I didn't know what to expect. With that in mind, I read this chapter thinking -- I don't know why, but I got the idea -- that it was, in fact, the final chapter. So, as a conclusion of the entire story, I didn't know quite what to make of it; and I deferred leaving a review, intending to return.

It was, perhaps, just as well, because anything I wrote would have been ill-conceived AND the computer would have eaten it.

I enjoyed returning to this story, which I found engrossing; and I thought this was a great, moving, and action-packed chapter. In fact, so much happens, I couldn't stop reading.
I liked the way the plot moved from the Burrow to St. Mungos to assorted locations at Malfoy Manor.

You had an enormous cast of characters just within this one chapter, and you gave each of them their moment.

But, as always, Nyah was the emotional center of the story, and the "Nyah" scenes were the strongest, the most involving, the most heartfelt (or so it surely feels to me as a reader). This is not to detract from the other sequences -- they are very well done. But this is Nyah's story.

I like the way you use Draco and Mrs. Draco as sympathetic characters. It was particularly interesting the way you showed the difference between father (ie, Lucius) and son through Nyah's POV. The whole "Malfoy" subplot adds a bit of interest. I'm kind of curious how it will work out for Draco and Astoria.

Thank you for a very entertaining chapter.

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Review #12, by Hermione Clone 

10th October 2008:
Oooh! I can't wait for the next chapter!

They probably should have waited for Hermione, but then Nyah might not have run into Ginny. I wonder if the stunner was wearing off, and that was why she could move a little.

Draco's actions were very interesting. I'm glad that he's going to try to help Nyah. I assume he was the one to leave the door unlocked. I think he actually wanted Nyah to know that it was her father who had defeated Voldemort. Maybe he thought it would make her feel better.

I hope Harry and the others will be alright!

I wonder where Hermione, Charlie, and Astoria are? I hope they don't get caught and are able to help.

Great Chapter!!!

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Review #13, by Labby 

9th October 2008:
Yay, I'm coming to rereview this story! Hopefully, I'll get back to it soon, but at least I've got this one review right away. I enjoyed this chapter. I'm getting sad that there are only two left. I don't think I'm quite ready to leave Nyah behind.

I enjoyed all of the action in this chapter. I think you did a great job at portraying that and setting up all of the plans and getting Harry captured. Hmm.. what will become of that now that Nyah's found Ginny? I love that part at the end where Nyah finds her. Nyah has to come in and save the day now, doesn't she? Like father, like daughter I guess. This poor child has gone through so much.. you just feel for her. I hope that her ending is good. I hope that they'll be able to fix everything up. I just love those happy endings and Nyah hasn't had much time with her parents at all now. Of course, once they found her, they lost her again. Nothing in Harry's life can be easy.

Now I'm especially interested in what's going on with Astoria and even Draco. Does Astoria not know the plan exactly or is she just against what's going on? Or is she being a traitor and leading Hermione and Charlie on to danger? I guess that's something else that we'll find out. Draco even seems to be a little less cruel here, caring a bit about Nyah. What's that all about? He's not going to turn up being good, is it? Or maybe he just has a bit of a heart. Anyways, that's all more that I'm interested in finding out. Great job and I'm looking forward to more as usual!

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Review #14, by Mistress 

8th October 2008:
Wow, this chapter was great. I love the kiss between Harry and Ginny. I can just picture it. Really beautiful writing. You are very talented. On to the next chapter!

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