23 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Croyance 

6th November 2015:
Hey, just wanted to tell that they did study
Unicorns, Professor Grubbly Plank taught them for
OWLS, while Hagrid was away, and Voldemort killed
more than one unicorn, thats why Hagrid had
decided to investigate the death of unicorns in
the forest.

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Review #2, by converse_rocks345 

7th July 2010:
Awe. What a cute chapter. :)

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Review #3, by BellaFan202 

18th March 2010:
That was REALLY good!

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Review #4, by wendy 

2nd August 2009:
a very interesting story. i do honestly say you write like a true author. im pretty sure if your young and you write like this and you are interested into being an official author you will be a great one. im sure you are good in school papers huh? congrats on your story.

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Review #5, by fatmermaid 

5th May 2009:
Oh my goodness! They are certanly falling in love! I don't know what else to say but WOW!

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Review #6, by Twinsmom 

27th February 2009:
They both opened themselves up to each other here. Luna with words and Rolf with actions. Lovely moment!

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Review #7, by C D johnson 

7th June 2008:
Hello, Its me Craig!

I owe you a massive appology, I'm truly sorry that it has taken me this long to review your story its just school work has really taken over! (1 exam to go and i'll be back writing)

On to the review...

I really loved this chapter, I thought it was stupendious! I am really enjoying the characters of Luna and Rolf, you really do have their characterisation down to a fine art! Can I also just say that I think you have a great vocabulary too.

There are some stunning descriptions in this chapter, so stunning that I had a perfect picture of what was happening in the chapter all the time I was reading it! I LOVED your description of the unicorns "they were so white that they sparkled through the opacity of the night." I think thats the perfect way to describe the unicorns well done!

Luna and Rolf are surely made for one another they are so well suited together! The romance between them seems to be blossoming rapidly!

Keep up the wonderful work! I'm giving you a 10/10 - cause this chapter was fantastically well written. reading on now!

Yours Magically,

Author's Response: Hello Craig!

No need to apologize. I have exams in two weeks and major ones for that matter so I should know all about time management. I missed you though:P

Anyway, thank you so much for the review. You're always so great! Well I try hard with the vocabulary, reading as much as I can to improve it. It's hard when you're not a native speaker but such appreciation is always welcomed:P

The descriptions... well, honestly Craig I know that I'll never ever get bired of hearing/seeing that people enjoy them and that they can imagine pretty well what's going around. I always thought that unicorns make even the snow feel dirty in comparison with them:p I think my Patronus might have been an unicorn... I love them!

I'm glad that you think that Rolf and Luna are made for each other. Humbly, I think they are too... I mean, they complete each other which is exactly what relationships are all about. Where Luna lacks Rolf complies and vice-versa. It's just a matter of time until both realise this:)

My readers are apparently more perceptive than Luna and Rolf are!:))

Thank you so much Craig! You're magical as always...


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Review #8, by Girldetective85 

2nd June 2008:
Congratulations on becoming a TA! :) You deserve it!

I loved this chapter a whole lot. I think description is one of your strongest points and you manage to do it gracefully without going overboard. I really like that you've used this little visit to the unicorns as a way to strengthen the relationship between Rolf and Luna, to show what they each think of the other and how they're changing towards each other. Romances that don't rush are really important to me and I think you've been doing a good job with that - slowly showing how they're becoming more and more to each other without hurrying into anything. One of my favorite parts was when Luna was touching the foal and realizing how much her hands had changed as the years went by - they'd been through everything, including war, and now they're touching something so pure - to me they represented Luna changing as a person and now having gone through a time of trouble and finally finding love. Great job, I think this is your best chapter so far :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

Oh I've been dreaming to become a TA ever since I started using this site. And it's really an honour for me to be given so much credit. Really, for me, it doesn't get better than that.

I'm so happy that you still enjoy my descriptions because I was feeling rather worried that people would find them tiring at some point and boring. I'm a fan of the slow paced romance myself and I always imagined Luna as this type of girl that didn't rush into doing things and would take her time before finally allowing herself to be with Rolf. And he's quite the same, he wants to this properly, to wow her with all the aces he's got up his sleeve... so time is essential for both of them.

You've quite nailed that moment because to me it represented kind of the same thing. She has been through so much but it is at that time that she truly understands just how big and important it was, and just how big of a toll had those two years taken on her. It's another crossroads for Luna but also for Rolf, in a way.

Thank you so much for this really wonderful review!


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Review #9, by Quidditch_Kisses 

31st May 2008:
The detail of this chapter was amazing! I could picture each little thing happening inmy head like a movie - from the way luna stepped throught he pond to Rolf'shidden bewilderedness at Luna's revelations. It was just incredible. And also, this chapter flowed so well and was written with such a lightness - like a hand grazing the surface of a pond, actually.
Terrific chapter! And congrats on becoming Trusted :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much!!!

I'm so glad that you could picture everything in your mind because that's what I actually wanted: for the reader to be able to envision eveything. Such a sweet metaphor you've made with the hand grazing over the surface:D

Thank you so much for congratulating me, as it's such an achievement for me, really.

As you might have noticed the seventh chapter is already posted in honour of that:D



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Review #10, by evie_doherty 

30th May 2008:
1. trusted author?! *does a happy dance* congratulations! felicitations! that is so awesome but then... not so awesome because it means really really really regular updates, and i didn't even know this had been updated when i checked and saw that there was a chapter 7 also *sighs* oh dear, i feel i will become very behind, and will have to catch up when im supposed to be studying. all your fault!!! hehe.

2. this chapter was so nice! it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, that Rolf is sharing something with Luna (and vice versa) and something so wonderful as unicorns. it was a perfect idea.

3. have you read atonement by ian mcewan? because at the beginning he writes about Briony and her writing style and how she uses all these odd synonyms for words, like hieroglyph instead of sign blah blah blah... your writing style reminds me of that in some ways, you use some of the most odd words for things, but it fits so well! i love it! it adds this layer of eccentricity to the story that really works considering we are writing about luna... like 'narcotized the habitual vividness' --> they're words no-one but you could string together and make work!!

4. one tiny bit of criticism if i may... you need just a tad more dialogue to break up all your description. i know before i said that i love your description (and i do, i really do) but it is so powerful that it gets to be a little too much sometimes when its just paragraphs and paragraphs one after the other... even if you had just a few more segments of dialogue than in this chapter to break up the things it would be nice, because it would allow me to focus more on your beautiful writing and the story (Which is coming along just fine, =])

5. so all in all, a very good chapter, very good indeed. i thorouughly enjoyed it, and now am on to read the next, considering that you are a trusted author now and are updating at the speed of light!

evie. XXX

Author's Response: Hello my magical friend! Aww I missed you so much:)

Yes, I'm a trusted author*does the happy dance as well* Well, I'm going to update about every time that my beta finishes doing the final touches on the respective chapters so it won't be that fast. I updated this time at the speed of light(like you said) because I had already got those chapters corrected. From now on it's going to take the regular flow:D

Thank you so much for everything you've said and it's such a long and cute review*melts down* I have read Atonement and it's my favourite novel nowadays because the resemblance between Briony and I is... increcible. Not that I would lie in order to hurt people:)) but I'm dreamy as well and I make up stories about the people around me all the time. Like that bit at the foutain when she imagined the conversation between Robbie and Cecile, well I do that too:)) But I'm just weird like that...:P

I really wanted the writing to be a bit eccentric because... well, I can't really say why but you'll see later:) I'm going to explain it all when the time comes. I'm honoured that you think my story is turning out good because I'm such a fan of your work and I look up to you in a way... blabbing ok:)) but you're really one of the best authors and it's so really nice of you to write these thing.

The next chapters will have more dialogue to balance the writing and I sure hope you'll find them entertaining:)


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Review #11, by shadowycorner 

30th May 2008:
Aww, I was mentioned. So sweet of you. :) Now onto the review. Your gut was right, Roberta (do you have a shorter nickname?), I enjoyed this chapter very much. The intensity between Luna and Rolf was explosive. It's nice to read that Rolf has fallen in love with Luna and it doesn't even feel like rushed or anything, because some people fall in love without warning and any reasons. All the romantic thoughts oh my! But the Unicorns...that was very, very nice and lovely. Oh if only I could be taken to see unicorns by a green-eyed Rolf with the face of James McAvoy.ahem.

He said 'fear' and she understood it, because she felt it as well; it was the fear of growing, of losing oneself in everyday. Rolf spoke of 'change' and she knew what he had intended. Change frightened her because it meant that she would no longer be herself, that he would no longer be himself by the time the sun would cast the moon away from the sky and take its rightful place.

I loved this paragraph. It explained the concept of this chapter, i.e. the change and growing, perfectly. And through the writing one can really see this in Luna especially. She's still Luna, but she's different, no longer a schoolgirl. I like how you're making the transitions of her slowly becoming a woman.

Yay, a Trusted Auhor status. Congratulations. Now you'll be posting like mad and I'll keep falling behind. :D But at least we'll even get to read that other story of yours soon, for which I'm really excited. I like that you really try. Your heart is in the writing and that's incredibly important. Wonderful job, hun.


Author's Response: Hello Elizabeth! Can I call you Liz?

Anyway, of course you were mentioned. You're one of the msot dedicated readers I've got so you completely earned this. You may call me Roe, as a short form of Roberta if you want to.

I'm so glad that you liked this chapter and indeed, I must admit that it was sort of romantic... with the unicorns and all:X I'm relieved that you think that Rolf falling in love with Luna is not rushed at all because I definitely see him just doing that. I imagined it to happen out of the blue, without him even realizing that it happened. It just hit him!:)) Poor guy!

Yes, James McAvoy is a love... I wish he'd take out on a walk in the forest at night... but gosh, I'd kiss if I were Luna:))

I've been told before that this paragraph was nice and I must say that it's among my favourites as well. It's essential that people get a better look at how not only Luna is steadily maturing, but also how Rolf is handling this. I'm really happy that the transition is slow:)

Thank you so much for congratulating me. It was by far one of the best things that have ever happened to me on this site and I'm incredibly honoured by the status. I won't be posting like mad though because I'll be rather busy with school(I have my graduation exam the next month) and my chapters have to go through a beta so expect one every four days so to speak. But it all depends. For example, today I posted the next chapter called Jealousy but the 8th one won't be coming that soon, most unfortunately:(

Indeed, I've put so much heart into writing this that it's really nice to see that people like this story so much.

Thank you again dear for the lovely review and I invite you to take a look at the next one:D


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Review #12, by PixiePower 

29th May 2008:
I get a dedication! Thank you my dear, it's a pleasure to review the story.

Well, what a lot of Rolf and Luna action. I love the idea of the unicorns, something pure to really get Rolf and Luna's relationship going. The gradual build up was excellent, and I really liked how even though we saw Luna's true feelings about the war, it wasn't a big hysterical breakdown like in so many stories. So well done in that regard.

I really wanted them to kiss, but I know it's coming so I can hold out.

Sorry for the relatively short review, but I have an essay to get back to and I really don't want to fail it.

Anyway, excellent writing and I can't wait for the next chapter. And thank you again for the dedication.

Much love,

Author's Response: Hello!

Well, yes of course you get a dedication... You see? I told you we'd get some action in this chapter. It's like I promised it would be, right? Anyway, thank you so much for the praise and for taking the time to review. I feel like I have the ebst reviewers in the world!

Oh, they will have their kiss of that I can assure. Initially I wanted them to kiss in this scene but then it seemed a bit hasty, so I've postponed it. But it's soon... very soon!

Oh don't worry about writing a short review... *looks again at it* it's not short, btw! Good luck with your essay and I'm sure you will not fail it...

Thank you again and much much much love from me as well.

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Review #13, by bring_back_sirius 

29th May 2008:
wonderful chapter! what a great idea to go see unicorns, rolf was clever to think of that. he's so in love now!!!
i really like the way you wrote luna in this chapter (and in the whole story, pretty much), shes very much herself, yet grown-up. cant wait to read the next chapter.
p.s. what does 'coup do foudre' mean? my french is a little rusty...

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

Indeed, I thought that the bit with the unicorns was appropriate for both of them and particularly for Luna. Rolf is just trying to dazzle her a bit...

Coup de foudre means love at first sight:) for them it was love at first sight because in this chapter they really got a better glimpse of how the other really is. Luna as this very strong person and Rolf as a king and gentle man.

Thank you again so much!

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Review #14, by Laci 

28th May 2008:
Congrats on the trusted author! Good chappie! Thanks for the update... everything is detailed so perfectly!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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Review #15, by queen_luna 

28th May 2008:
Hello again!

I think I tell you in every review that your descriptions are amazing, so I won't elaborate on that :)

I am glad to see a lot more action and dialogue in this chapter. Rolf is falling in L O V E with Luna, lol! I loved it! And the unicorns were a nice touch.

I really don't have much to say, except great job and can't wait till the next chapter!!! When's Rolf going to kiss her? :P


Author's Response: Hello!!!

Thank you so much for reviewing. As always you have really nice things to say that make my day. And yes, Rolf is most certainly falling in love with Luna and so is she. Now, a kiss, well I can tell you that it's very soon!


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Review #16, by loolupe 

28th May 2008:
This is such a beautiful story. I love your Rolf and Luna is perfect, as is his perception of her. Great job.

Author's Response: Thank you very very very very much! I'm always happy to get praise for my two main characters!

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Review #17, by Susie Foo 

28th May 2008:
Fabulous as always! I cannot wait for more!

Author's Response: Thank you Susie! I'll probably update these days, no more than 3 days, I promise you!

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Review #18, by ButterflyRogue 

28th May 2008:
First of all, I'd like to congratulate you on becoming a Trusted Author!! Good for you!! *and it means no more waiting for the newest chapter to be validated so good for me too... :P*

As for the chapter... beautiful!! I absolutely loved both Luna's and Rolf's thoughts on their surroundings, themselves and each other... Very well developed, very well written. Their interaction is so light and natural - they truly complement each other well. The scene with the unicorns was absolutely amazing! Let's face it, what can be more romantic than that? ;)

However, I'm confused over one thing... At the very beginning, you mentioned them leaving as Gustav exited his tent --- did he see them go? Will he try and get them in trouble? It might have been a product of my stressed mind, though, the heat here is practically unbearable...

Anyhow, wonderful chapter! I can't wait for more... ^^

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

I'm so happy that their interaction was natural and light, because I really wanted it to preserve a slow pace, to be slumberous in a way and be some sort of... well, a winding road if you get what I mean.

Indeed, unicorns are really romantic and I hoped that the reader will think of it as that too.

Answering your question, well, yes, Gustav did see someone leaving but since he had already noticed that Rolf's bed was empty he assumed that it was only him. So he didn't actually see Luna...:) The heat? wow, you should know that in Romania is so hot as well...

Thank you so much!!!!

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Review #19, by HP_aficionado 

28th May 2008:
I haven't logged in, but having favourited this, I want to congratulate you on an utterly compelling and delightful story. This story is like a breath of fresh air, the novelty is particularly noteworthy.

I LOVE the character Rolf Scamander(or rather, your version of Rolf). And putting James McAvoy in the chapter images and banner is a stroke of brilliance, I can SO imagine Rolf to look as dreamy and dishy as James McAvoy, and it is always more exciting to have a dreamboat falling for a girl who is kind of out in left field.

All right, will stop gushing now and will critique the "character" Rolf. Reiterating, he is quite an interesting character, with just the right amount of insouciance, individuality and mystique which make him so...desirable. lol...He also has this sense of goodness about him, he's not exactly perfect, and his lifestyle is flamboyant, but yet he isn't irredeemably spoilt or arrogant...And he is so likeable and that works REALLY well for the story.

Luna, um...I feel she's slightly OOC, for the canon Luna is FAR more eccentric and mental, but then maybe the war has infused some sobreity in her. Though I must applaud you for bringing out her essense really well, she is carefree, impregnable to criticism and those aspects of Luna are brought out impeccably.

Also, this fic spectacularly captures the post war reconstruction. It also casts light on the families who weren't active participants in the war. Two aspects fanfic writers hardly touch upon.

Having said that, I also do have a few...opinions. I wouldn't call it criticism, for it certainly isn't criticism, just a few thoughts...

Firstly, the descriptions...They are lovely and very vivid, phrases and sentences such as

the moon followed each and every one of their steps with such jealousy and outright disappointment

Change frightened her because it meant that she would no longer be herself, that he would no longer be himself by the time the sun would cast the moon away from the sky and take its rightful place

His heart started pounding faster; his lungs had long ceased functioning properly. He stared at her over and over again without even bothering to blink, afraid that he might lose something relevant, like a smile

The aforementioned are fantastic, but the fic can also use some dialogue. I'll digress for sometime and then get to the point I'm trying to make...

What is very salient is that the writer should know the USP of their story and should exploit it consummately. This story is about Luna, who is a rather quirky and eccentric character, and a bloke called Rolf Scamander, who is completely open to one's imagination for we know zilch about him. So what people expect is a sweet romantic story interspersed with regular bouts of madness and eccentricity (for the story is centred around Luna).

I'm by no means saying that you should pander to your readership by dishing out what you think they will like rather than what you enjoy writing, but that you must be informed that long descriptions (however well-written they might be) can get tedious after sometime.

You're definitely investing a lot of time and dedication in writing this fic, but as a reader, when I read this, I only skim through the lines. That is to say, my eyes latch on the words, and my brain processes the words, but I don't really READ every single word, if you know what I mean. As often as not, I read an entire paragraph at one go, and then I move on to the next. So my mind has a lot of information to process.

But in the case of dialogue, as the sentences containing the speech are relatively shorter, it is easier for the reader to take the words in and thereby the process of reading becomes less arduous and more enjoyable.

For instance, in the previous chapter, Luna reminisces about her friends. Don't you think, it would have been more absorbing had Luna told Rolf all about her friends and how much she misses them and how much they mean to her? Rolf would then get more complete perspective of Luna.

As readers, we are in a very convenient position, for we get to read the POV's of both Luna and Rolf, but they are not privy to each other's thoughts. So unless they interact enough, how can they convince themselves that they are in love?

What I'm trying to say is that there could be more interaction between Luna and Rolf, and less musings.

Please do not be affronted, for the aforesaid were just my personal opinions and not criticism. As I say in all my reviews, this opinion is not the universal opinion, and you can discard it if you wish, because for all we know, I might be the only person who feels so.

So best of luck with your story.


Author's Response: Firstly, let me tell you Thank you for writing such a long and detailed and balanced review for my story. I know that it must have taken lots of your time and I really really appreciate it. It's by far one of the best reviews I've ever got since I started using this site. It's just equally balanced between praise and CC, which I must insist on being requisite for me.

I'm happy that you like Rolf, because I've genuinely thought of him as being the man you describe in your review. He's not perfect, but he seeks to attain a balance of his own. He can be pretty intense sometimes when defending his independence and therefore he can hurt people, without even realising it. But he''s also kind and warm and prone to love people and to be loved. He''s just your average young man in search of an identity. And I think that's why people are drawn to him; because they can relate to him. Or at least, I hope I've managed to do so.

Indeed, when thinking this story out, I wanted Luna to be more mature but still preserve that oddness of her. I wanted her to be less eccentric but surely, not to change dramatically like I've seen in other fics. Sometimes when that eccentricity is preserved Luna tends to look like a crazy person which is not what she's about. I wanted people to see just how delightful and complex she is. I'm honoured that you think that I brought up good those aspects of Luna.

I did see a lack of fics that spoke about families and people that were not involved in the war, so I really wanted to write something about this thing.
I'm thrilled that you added some of your opinions in the review. I'm always excited to hear what my readers think that the story could need in order to get better. Dialogue... indeed, it could use more and I can promise you that the following chapters are more open to that part. There will be more dialogues and more action, to call it like that. I really wanted to set the background, both physical and emotional, and so I had to resort to descriptions but having done that already, I hope that the next chapter attains the balance between narration and dialogue.
Again, thank you so very much for writing such an honest and wonderful review. I'm still dazzled by it and I must say that reading this has been just indescribable.
Anyway, another "thanks" for taking the time to read and review my story and a big bear hug goes out to you.

uptowngirlinlove/lucretia neva

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Review #20, by cat 

28th May 2008:
oh my god!! sniff sniff that was so cute pls update soon

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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Review #21, by obviously394 not logged in 

28th May 2008:
Ah, the chapter you've had me waiting for! I loved it, of course. Lovely dialogue, amazing description, perfect characterization. You had my heart rate up quite a bit in there. And ... I gues I don't have any CC for you. Congrats on becoming a Trusted Author :) Oh, and thanks for mentioning me!


Author's Response: Hi!

Yes, indeed, this is really the chapter you've been waiting for. I'm so thrilled that you liked it, because as you might have noticed is really a determinant point in their lives. This event will unleash all there is to unleash.

Thank you so much for leaving a review, congratulating me and for being the wonderful person you are:)


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Review #22, by momto2beauties 

28th May 2008:
what a lovely story. I do so enjoy Luna. You've got a good handle on her, I think.

Keep up the good work.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I enjoy Luna because she's just absolutely brilliant:)


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Review #23, by Jacqueline Noir 

28th May 2008:
First of all... what does the title means? I know it's a French expression but...
Then thank you for thanking me for my reviews(wow, that sounded intelligent). Anyway, sweetie, back to this chapter, which, by the way was wonderful. Although I have a little suggestion to make. It would be nice if the next chapter will have some more action in it. Until now it was perfect, you had the right amount of description and action, but I think now it's the time to introduce some action. I know you delayed their first kiss to intrigue the readers, but I really hope to see in the next chapter. You have such wonderful ideas...
And unicorns... It reminded me of a fairytale. I think that we, all the romantic peoples, dream to see an unicorn... I liked the interaction between Luna and the unicorn, and the description of Rolf's secret place... I can't wait to see what else he has in mind.
What surprised me was the fact that Luna had the courage to confess a little of what she's been through during the war and about her mother... Rolf's reaction reminded me a little bit of Ron(men always have problems in recognizing that they too have feelings;) ).
I say it again:your descriptions are fabulous.
Congratulations for this chapter, and for becoming a Trusted Author(Oh, I have foreseen this;)!

Author's Response: Oh dear beloved friend!

Thank you so much for stopping by to review, I know that you're busy and I really appreciate your taking time to write this very long and sweet review.

Oh, I'm afraid the next chapter won't have the long awaited kiss but it will have some sort of Rolf-Gustav showdown. It's going to be funny, I guess and rather entertaining. The 8th one, however, promises some action as you said you wanted so given my new status it shouldn't take long... I'll have to wait for my beta to take a look at it and tell me what needs to be changed and point out my grammar errors.

Unicorns... well it started out with my desire to see them and I imagined it to be some sort of a magical moment... I'm really glad you liked it and that to you it all seemed like a fairytale. Oh, he has quite a few things on his mine with which to dazzle Luna. We'll see all these aces he's got up his sleeve, in a series of three chapters that are to follow soon. I hope you'll like them.

Luna always said the things she thought. She was always honest and wasn't afraid of saying "yeah, it hurt me". She was always like that to me, ever since she confessed her mother's death to Harry and from that moment on I looked at Luna as a very sincere person, that makes people feel uncomfortable around her because of that.

And yes, Rolf is just completely unaware of his own feelings and the way Luna steadily begins to take over his mind. There's a bit of Ron's unawareness in there!

Thank you so much dear and I hope you get to be a trusted author soon too:)


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