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29 Reviews Found

Review #1, by gremlin 

11th September 2010:
I love the way you end your chapters, it invokes curiosity, but not so much it aggrevates you. Although I'm reading your story when I know there's a next chapter, so that might be another reason :)
I also love how mysterious the story is, but not so much that there is tension. Seems to reflect how the characters feel toward each other right now.

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Review #2, by d alice 

14th May 2010:
the development of the romance between luna and rolf is quite believable. i can see the shyness and the interest. and the ending of this chapter is extremely well done! (:

just one critique: you might want to do a bit more indirect characterization. you have a lot of direct (where luna thinks about rolf and where rolf thinks about luna and then they both think about their pasts), and sometimes just inferring is have the fun. ^^

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Review #3, by BellaFan202 

13th March 2010:
Did he call that girl Luna? I'm right, aren't I?

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Review #4, by NessaTelemnar 

3rd August 2009:
I like your story ^^
And I'm so glad you used the image of James McAvoy
in the banners, boy, he is CUTE :D

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Review #5, by Laugharama_llama 

3rd July 2009:
hahaha that was such an alladin moment! :)

okay i'm going to continue reading now lolll

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Review #6, by fatmermaid 

5th May 2009:
Wow! It seems that love is not just being shy at this moment in the story, but flurishing! I can't wait to see what happens!

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Review #7, by whisky 

29th April 2009:
uh, duh, he called her luna. it was like love at first sight between them, right? or like...

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Review #8, by Twinsmom 

27th February 2009:
Subtle but revealing. It was great to see a flaw in Luna. Of course some think she is one big flaw. But, really she is usually so confident in knowing who she is. It was very interesting seeing her anxiety over her journals. Also, I loved when thoughts of her friends set her to rights again. Even if she alwaysknew who she was- it's greater when you have people in your life that know you too and actually like you for it.

Liked how you showed Luna capturing Rolfs attention. I expected him to take a bit longer. But, still there is much more to show with Luna. Can't wait to see what he thinks is important enough to wake her up for.

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Review #9, by nybabydino 

20th October 2008:
lol love the ending, reminded me of my fave movie growing up; Aladdin.

Author's Response: :) I loved that movie too, although I must admit that the scene was not inspired by it. Thank you for the review!

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Review #10, by Meeeeera 

31st May 2008:
Hey!

It's Meera here again :)

Well, my dear, there's not much to say. Your story is very, very good.
You've really gone into depth with the characters, and made them very real people. I'm starting to especially like Gustav- he's quite funny as a character.

Your grammar is also excellent, I didn't see anything that needed fixing, which is really good.

The only thing that I thought was a bit much was the exploration of Luna's thoughts. I can almost hear you gasp, so I'd better explain. While it's beautifully written, there's just so much of it, and in rather large paragraphs, so I don't think it engages the reader as much as the action. I must confess to skim-reading those paragraphs. Maybe you could split them up a little bit, or have Luna express things in different ways?

I think that's about it. Make sure you post in the thread again, and I'll keep reviewing!

- Meera :)

P.S. I'm guessing he called the girl Luna?

Author's Response: Oh thank you so much darling!

I'm really thrilled that my grammar was good, I got a beat just in case for the upcoming chapters so that shouldn't be a problem anymore from the sixth chapter on.

Yes, indeed, I know that sometimes the feelings and the emotions are overwhelming but starting with next chapter there will be more dialogue that will help balance the writing and will make the reading much more pleasant.


Thank you so much and I'll sure come back to your request thread anytime soon.

~Roe

PS. Yes, you'd be terribly right in assuming that he called her Luna, so a cookie for you too:)


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Review #11, by shadowycorner 

29th May 2008:
I loved the ending. It was utterly brilliant. It had this great air of attraction and mystery. I don't really see it as a cliffhanger too much, I think it was a perfect place to cut it (maybe that's because the next chapter is already posted, hehee), but really..that kept me reading with my eyes open wide.

Luna's thoughts about the diaries were very touching and deep. I liked how you dwelled on her emotions and memories, in that part it really was necessary. At the beginning, I spotted some shaky switch from POV's...you went from Luna's to Rolf much too quickly, maybe the horizontal rule thing to separate it would make things clearer. Also, you know I adore your description with all the lovely, extraordinary words, but sometimes there's too much and the dwelling on emotions, glances, etc. should be reduced in some parts. Your take on nature and scenes are perfect, just keep that...but sometimes you go three paragraphs about the same thing when talking about the characters' thoughts. Sometimes it's better to make certain thigns more subtle. :)

Did Rolf call the girl Luna? That would be funny, heh. The guy's already in it. Which reminds me...you really make him wonderfully alluring. Reading things from his point of view is not as thrilling as when i read it through Luna's eyes. The way she responds to him is amazing.

As for Luna herself, I like your characterisation of her really much, but if I can suggest something...your Luna is more on the serene side and something dynamic to her appearance/dialogue would balance it out a bit more, i think.

Anyway, I still like this SO much. The trip to Scotland will surely be interesting to read about and of course, I can't wait to read where is it that Rolf is taking Luna. Though I'll have to read the next chapter later. You post so fast. :) That's great. Okay, all from me now.

xoxo Liz

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for this wonderful review! As always you manage to surprise me with the detailed feedback and the very onstructive criticism.

I'm so happy that you didn't look at the ending as a cliffhanger, because many people don't like them that much. I, in contrast, like them so much that I couldn't help not to use them in this fic.

I think that dwelling on their emotions and feeling and also impression about one another is really important so I wanted to focus on that more at the beginning of the story. In the following chapters you'll start seeing less of that and more dialogue, particularly in the chapters that have major Luna and Rolf scenes, because they do like to communicate a lot as you will see.

Yes, indeed, he called her Luna. Subconsciently, of course, but he did. I'm really happy that you like my characterization of Luna and I must admit that I tend to make of her more of a dreamer and the serene type of person but I can assure you that as their relationship progresses so will Luna's behaviour. I always saw Luna as this person that likes to reveal herself gradually so I'm more or less attempting to do that.

Thank you again so much for this review. I'm always excited to see what you think of a chapter and I'm looking forward to hearing your opinion regarding the next chapter. I have a gut feeling that you'll like it:)

Hugs from me!


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Review #12, by jkrowling_fan (not logged in) 

27th May 2008:
Congratulations on the popularity of this beautiful story! I knew this would happed! :)

Anyway, what I wanted was my cookie - did Rolf call her "Loony" ?

Author's Response: Thank you so much my dear! Oh, I'm so happy that you stopped by!

Well, you get your cookie anyway, even if you hadn't guessed, which you obviously did. Thank you, you're an amazing person!


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Review #13, by Victoire Weasley 

26th May 2008:
I absolutely love this story! It's so cute, and very well-written too. Oh, and your chapter images are very pretty also lol.

Did Rolf call that girl Luna? That's my guess!

I can't wait for the next chapter! 10/10 =]

Author's Response: Thank you so much!!!!

I think it's a cute and really fluffy story too:D wow, I'm glad that you like the chapter images, I make them myself:)

Yes, indeed, he called that girl Luna. So you get a cookie as well!

Thanks!


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Review #14, by C D johnson 

24th May 2008:
Hello Again!

Firstly, I would like to say that I am so very sorry that I didn't read this sooner as I have had school work to do you see I am in the middle of my GCSE's at this moment in time, although I've only 3 exams left to do!

No on to your review...

I thought that this chapter was simply amazing, I really loved it! Yet again, your writing style seems to bring the story to life, which makes it really interesting to read!

I like the fact that you you used questions in this chapter " Who was she? Were they just as frightened about changing as she was?" This is a really useful techniqe as it made me think!

Luna is really maturing now too, because she didn't take her diaries with her to scottland...I think that was a step away from childhood. But nevertheless she still is the wonderful Luna we all know and love!

I really did love this paragraph I thought it was superbly descriptive "He looked at her from across the scarlet flames of the fire, as she tried to pierce with her eyes the depth of the dark forest that lay ahead of them. She appeared to be lost in thoughts, which was not peculiar of her, but on that precise moment she genuinely seemed to have ceased any contact with her surroundings and instead had traveled in mind somewhere far away, where Gustav’s little chat with his grandfather was not audible, where she could no longer seize his eyes contemplating her in the yellow light provided by the fire." As I read that I got a very clear image in my head especailly of the Scarlet Flames!

Once again what can I say but Outstanging work! Well done, a deffinate 10/10 I really can't wait for more!

Magically Yours,

Craig

Author's Response: Oh hello Craig!

Don't worry about being late in reviewing, really! I'm just so thrilled that you're actually reading this so you can take your time, After all, thsi story is going to stick around here for quite a while:D GSCEs? Oh, I've got in June the equivalent of A levels so I know how it is to be busy...

*blushes* I'm so happy that you find this chapter amazing because it really is a decisive one... well this chapter and the next one definitely are, because they both mark the passing. From the sixth chapter on, Rolf will realize that he wants Luna for himself and Luna will know that she feels something for him.

I imagines Luna as a person who ask questions and even to herself, so I thought it would be good to bring that in attention. Indeed, Luna is maturing but in a way she will always be her old self. She will always be lovable and charming in her peculiar sort of way:)

Thank you so much for appreciating that paragraph. I really had a clear image of Rolf spying on her while she contemplates the darkness of the forest. I imagined it as some sort of an incognito stare... she becomes the object of his contemplation, but she doesn't notice it. He is confined by the flames...:) I'm glad I could rend a plausible image with my sentences.

Thank you so much for the rating and for always being such a wonderful reviewer! You guys deserve so much more than just a reply... but for the time being I'll have to settle to that. I can't wait for the queue to open to be able to post the long-awaited sixth chapter.

Hugs:X


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Review #15, by PixiePower 

23rd May 2008:
Hi again!

Sorry for the later review, I was stranded on an island. As funny as I'm sure that sounds, I'm not kidding. I was on camp. And by 'stranded' I mean that the only was of getting back was on a ferry that made me sick. Bleh.

Anyway, another wonderful chapter. The flow was really nice, and I loved Luna's little epiphany of who she wasn't.

The build-up to the next chapter was good, especially the last few paragraphs.

A couple of grammar issues here and there, just a comma left out in a couple of places, but other than that, great work. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Oh, and because I love cookies, I'm guessing that Rolf called that girl something starting with 'L' and ending with 'una'.

xxPixie

Author's Response: Oh hello Pixie!

So you were on camp... dear, I know how it feels like on a ferry. When I was in Malta we had a ferry tour around the island... well, to cut a long story short, for three hours we were stuck on that boat. Dizzy...:)

Thank you so mcuh for the review, I'm so glad that people keep liking this story and that they find it as entertaining as ever.

For the grammar issue, I've got myself a beta for the next chapter so starting from the sixth you won't be seeing any major grammar mistakes:) I'm so thrilled about that...

Well, even if you hadn't guessed(but you obviously did) you would have still got cookies, for being a wonderful person:)

Thanks again!:XXX


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Review #16, by Laci 

23rd May 2008:
he totally called her Luna!! Cant wait to read more!!

Author's Response: Yes, he did...:) You get a cookie as well, as did all my reviewers! Thank you so much!

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Review #17, by Quidditch_Kisses 

22nd May 2008:
Haha, cookies? Well, my guess would have to be Luna (or some variation on the name).

Another wonderfully written chapter (as usual:D), but something has been bothering me slightly. The clothes you dress Luna in seem so...un-Luna-ish. The way you describe them makes them appear classy and stylish, while i've always thought Luna to be more...eclectic. And actually, i've never thought ehr to be someone who is constantly wearing dresses. Why is she wearing a dress to go camping in Scotland?

I know that this is completely trivial, so -really- you should be extrememly proud that this is the only fault i can find in your story! Other than this tiny thing, your story is AWESOME.
Please update soon :) I'm excited for some Luna/Rolf interaction =)

Author's Response: Hello!

Oh but Luna's clothes are quirky, very colourful and as you'll see later on she does have a slight tendency of wearing clothes that apparently don't match. I've always envisioned Luna as a feminine person so I really wanted her to stand out by wearing not dresses, but really feminine clothes. I imagined her mother as being that type of person so I assumed that Luna would have liked to gain that habit as well. She's not wearing dresses as in very modern and really fancy ones. But rather funny and childish in a way... I'm not sure if you managed to understand a thing of my rambling:))

Anyway, I'm really proud of the fact that you haven't really found any major correction and I'm just... honoured that my story is liked by so many people. Your review is actually the 97th and when I'll reach 100 I'll probably die of happiness:)) I think that's every author's heaven:))

Ok this review was major rambling on my behalf. In fact what I really wanted to tell was Thank you!


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Review #18, by jkrowling_fan 

22nd May 2008:
What girl? What girl? *scrolls up to A/N*

OK, i got one interesting thing in thing chapter : why Rolf suddenly lost interest in all magical creatures at the age of thirteen? It is all certainly very curious, very curious indeed...

Ah, the mush, the chick-flick-iness of this awesome story! I had this stupis goofy grin on my face while I was reading the latter half of the story; I guess it's the Rolfuna syndrome that's affecting us all >.<

I really love making this face >.< Isn't it cuuute? Isn't it? *holds dagger to throat*

You ARE honestly about the Rolf/Luna interaction in the nxt chapter, aren't you? Because I've been waiting for it for like centuries...mignight, MOONlight, luna in white dress, holding hands... *sighs*

'm on a holiday now and the internet speed is like ... *pukes*
... so, i'll keep this short; i juz hope it posts! >.

Author's Response: Oh hello my dear!

That girl that Rolf had gone to the party with and lated mistaken her name... Surely it's there at the beginning of Rolf's point of view.

Oh it's curious indeed but a part of the answer should be provided in the second chapter when Rolf returns to his room. It's the fear of stepping in his grandfather's shoes. It's the fear of failing that had pushed Rolf into denying any contact with the world. He did not his interest, he had however learnt that he has some goals he had to achieve which he is afraid of not achieving.

Oh, I wasn't aware that there's a Rolf-Luna syndrome getting at people around the site. But anyway, I hear that the symptoms are really nice to bear with...

Oh it's really cute, I love you(well I love you all the time, but all the more) when you make faces like this and say funny things that make me roll down and laugh.

I am being honest, I swear... There's a long Luna/Rolf interaction and I must admit that you've nailed part of the chapter really well. You seem to have read my mind there...

Thank you so much for this review! It's just plain great!


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Review #19, by dianap00 

21st May 2008:
*squee*
I love this story.
Rolf is unfeasibly interesting and Luna is more earnest than I ever could've imagined.
It just so happens that I did not miss the radish moment: "the radish earring that still resting in his pocket"; which is too cute to fathom.
Musing!Luna is perfect... I like how you balance her out with some quirks. Gustav is a gem in that he's ridiculous and the fact that Mrs. Scamander knows makes me smile.

She trusts him. =).
Love it.

Cheers!

lol. He called the random girl 'Luna' didn't he... xD. I love it...

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

I'm so glad that you like this story so far. In fact I'm so pleased with the response I've got so far that I can't snap out of this too good to be true phase!

Indeed, Rolf is an interesting guy and Luna, well, there's no need to tell what makes Luna brilliant. She's just Luna! He keeps that earring there hoping that he'll find the right time to give it to her but in a way he is reluctant to do that. He wants to have a connection with her so he keeps the earring in his pocket. Cute... I think so too!

Gustav, yes, he's quite the character! I'm glad that people find him ridiculously funny. And Mrs. Scamander understands more than she lets people know...

Indeed, she trusts Rolf!

Thanks so much for the awesome review! I can't wait for the queue to open again to post the sixth chapter, which I assure you it's very... romantic;D


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Review #20, by obviously394- not logged in 

21st May 2008:
Gorgeous graphic as always- I think this is my favorite yet :)

Once again, lovely chapter. I didn't mind the lack of action/dialogue so much, I guess I'm just used to it. I love the way you ended this.

And there's no way he didn't say Luna ... cookies for me!

Amazing chapter, shame the queue's closed- I want chapter six!

~obviously

Author's Response: Thank you!

It's my favourite graphic so far but I think there are better ones coming. A bit of bragging in here, I must admit:D

I'm relieved that you got accustomed to my wryting style, but the next chapter should be a refresh because it's got more dialogue than the usual.

Cookies for you as well! All my reviewers get them!

Yes, I know, I'm a bit sad that the queue is closed too, but what can we do about it? just wait, I guess.

Thank you so much for the review!*hands in the cookie jar*


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Review #21, by queen_luna 

21st May 2008:
I just love your chapters. They are so long and descriptive, it's great.

I have a comment to make about your use of the word "snigger" for Luna. I don't think Luna sniggers...she laughs dreamily :)

Oh my gosh, I love the last scene with Rolf and Luna! He definitely likes her. Update soon, can't wait to see what he shows her!

~queen_luna

Author's Response: Oh thank you queen luna for returning on the fifth chapter!

Oh, yes indeed snigger... Thanks for pointing that one out. I'm so happy you like the story, although I'm afraid I can't update as soon as I did before because the queue is closed. It's going to take a week, I guess till I get the chapter posted.

Yes, Rolf really likes her... and he's going to show her a secret of his. But I can't reveal what's about.:D

Thanks!


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Review #22, by Collylocks 

21st May 2008:
I like your story very much. It's nice to have a focus on Luna. :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I think it was about time someone wrote a story about these two:X

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Review #23, by jewlzbird 

21st May 2008:
Ooooh, me likes! Update soon! :)

Author's Response: I'm so happy you like it! Well I would have submitted the chapter for validation if the queue hadn't been closed:( but it is and therefore no updates until June,1st. Thanks!

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Review #24, by SusieFoo 

21st May 2008:
Wonderful yet again! Yay for the queue being speedy this week! Woo hoo!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and leaving a review!

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Review #25, by Jacqueline Noir 

21st May 2008:
Cookies?Really? I love cookies. Now let's see... Lyra? Uhm.. no uh! Linda... possibly but not? Luna? LUNA? Oh, my, I think she is! Where are the cookies?:))
Now, about his wonderful chapter... Let me tell you that (almost)any other author would have bore me to death with so much description, but Luna is quite fascinating to write and you are one talented writer. I actually enjoyed reading her thoughts, it sort of reminded me of myself: I use to sit for hours and just think... Her way of feeling love for her friends it's unique.
Rolf. Yes, good one. And James McAvoy portrays him perfectly in your fic. His face, his pictures are perfect to the way you described him. A round of a applause for your good idea of choosing him.
But what I liked the best about the this chapter was the end. I never expected that scene... Rolf kneeling beside her bed and waking her up in the middle of the night. This stir something in me and I was amazed to see the interaction between them.
Very good chapter, honey, I like this story more and more and it's such a shame that you'll have to wait until the queue reopens to post the next chapter*sobs*. I vote for uptowngirlinlove as a trusted auhtor!

Author's Response: Oh, thanks love for stopping by and leaving such a lengthy review!

Yes, you get your cookies for getting the name right. Anyway, I made it too obvious... probably because I want all my reviewers to get cookies as they are always so cute and wonderful.

I'm glad that I'm not boring you:) one of my major concerns was that I might actually bore my readers with descriptions but people have told me so far that it's the strong point of the story so that can only make me happy and relieved. Yes, Luna it's quite an interesting character, both to read and to write. I just love her to bits and she makes such a nice couple with Rolf, don't you think?

James McAvoy*sighs* he really is the perfect Rolf. That's exactly how I thought Rolf would look like from the very minute I heard JK's testimony on Luna's post-Hogwarts life. I think it's quite a good pick as well.

I'm glad that I managed to surprise you with the final scene. I was rather hoping it would cause the same suprise as it caused Luna, because certainly it was the last thing she expected to happen: to see Rolf in her tent in the middle of the night asking her to join him in an adventure. That's hardly the thing anyone expects Rolf to do, yet he does it.

Yes, I know, I'm sad that I can't post either but it should go by fast. At least I hope it will. Next chapter will be really exciting, I can assure you.

Hugs:X


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