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13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by celticbard 

27th May 2009:
Hi morgana!
I'm here to review, as requested. ^_^ Ah, this chapter brought me back to when I first read The Sorcerer's Stone so many years ago. To me, it contained that same sense of wonderment and magic that makes Rowling's books so enjoyable. I think you did an excellent job in portraying Father Mckenna's surprise at suddenly discovering the wizarding world. He seems like a very down-to-earth guy and I'm already thoroughly enjoying his interaction with Harry and Draco. Also, I think it would be quite unique if he, a Muggle priest, managed to solve the magical quandary Draco is facing.

The entire tone of this fic, the meshing of magic and religion, along with the exploration of spirituality has been entirely refreshing. I love the fact that you're trying to answer some deeper questions here. It truly adds depth to the fic.

I noticed several typos in this chapter as I read through, but honestly, they're easily remedied. ^_^ I find it helpful to read my chapters out loud. You'd be surprised how many typos you pick up. ;) I've also heard that reading a chapter backwards can help a writer spot errors, but I've never tried it myself.

As always, I really enjoyed this installment, morgana. Please feel free to stop by my thread and request another review. I hope you have a good week! Take care!

Best,
celticbard

Author's Response: Oh, thanks so much.

I guess now that you mention, it was a bit like when Harry discovered the magical world. I remembering commenting with someone that it was hard to imagine what it would be like to discover something like that existed.

I'm really glad that you think that mixing the worlds of magic works in this fic, especially since it is really the main theme.

I must check this again for typos. I'll try your tip about reading aloud.

Thanks so much!


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Review #2, by SpringTime 

16th November 2008:
Very nice chapter. Loved the little bit with Moody's room, made me laugh. I also thought it was a muzing how he became Molly. You had him play her so well. And of coarse I liked the apearance of Luna (she is one of my favorite characters, though I havee a horrible time trying to write her). There were a couple of typo's and some grammatical errors, but nothing huge.
Good chapter. :) Sorry that these are so much shorter, but I am finding less to comment on (which is a good thing).

Author's Response: Oh, I was convinced that I have replied to this review already. It seems that my reply crashed or something. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. I thought it would make an amusing scene. Luna, well, I really wanted to show Father Sean as much as I could of the wizarding world and well Luna makes a nice addition to it. Yes, I find her a little hard to write too. Now, Harry becoming Molly, well her hairs were available as well as her clothes since they are all staying at Grimmauld Place and Harry knows her well enough to play her role. I'll have a look at this chapter again for typos. Thanks so much.

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Review #3, by AriesGirl40 

21st May 2008:
another great chapter

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading the whole story so far! Cheers!



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Review #4, by Gords7015 

17th May 2008:
Hi! Thanks for inviting me back, and sorry it took so long. I was on Cape Cod for a few days (it was a senior college trip), but I'm back now prepping for graduation...

Anyway, this was a neat chapter to read. It was funny that you had Harry transform into Molly (you'd think he might be uncomfortable being a woman)... But the line about becoming Ginny was excellent...

Otherwise, the chapter was really well done. I think that showing Fr. Sean around was a cool idea, and the image of Draco kinda following was funny...

I worry that Harry is going to end up in some weird place with the trunk idea, but hopefully it works. Please invite me back once you've got your next chapter up!

Good work!!

Author's Response: I hope you had a nice time in Cape Code.

Yes, there were some comical elements to this chapter. My intention was to try to lighten up a bit because the main theme in this chapter is a rather serious and possibly controversial one.

I don't think Harry would feel very comfortable as a woman, but her hairs were easily obtainable and they knew she was not going to turn up herself in Diagon Alley. I could have used Arthur but he was supposed to be at the Ministry so people would have wondered what he was doing in Diagon Alley and the same was for a few other characters. Also, this gives Ginny and idea that you will see put in practice later on...

Yes, poor Father Sean ended up a bit shocked by their world, but I guess, wouldn't we all? lol

Harry and the vanishing cabinet, well, yes something may go slightly wrong...

Thanks so much again! x


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Review #5, by Aurora Dawn 

13th May 2008:
Finally here as promised.


Draco and Harry still have their moments -- again they put me in mind of Snape and Sirius only I think they're trying harder. Draco is such a little snot. He's been around horrible people all his life that he still just doesn't understand niceness. He's totally out of his league.

I love the part where they're trying to get into Moody's room. It put me in mind of Sir Cadogan and all his crazy passwords in POA. Pretty typical of paranoid Mad Eye...but who can blame him for being paranoid?

I still like how you're explaining the magic thing :

“Magic is for real, yes,” answered Harry, “but as I said, magic can be used for many other purposes, to heal, to save people’s lives, to make life easier even, just like you have dishwashers, for instance.”

One word of caution though -- be careful bringing Jesus into it. It doesn't bother me because I understand where you're coming from and where you're going with it, but I think if it was me writing this story, I'd be prepared for some occasional complaints from readers. Hopefully not, but you know how sensitive people can be.

Author's Response: Thanks so much. I will review your new chapter as well soon.

Harry is now finally trying to put a stop to the little games between him and Draco, he rather be friends with him hence he says it was better when Draco was prettending they were mates.

Moody and his passwords, I thought I had to add something funny and light to this very deep chapter.

On the controversy re Jesus I think I better put a disclaimer or do something.

My views are basically what I said to Joanne K in my reply:

"Starting with the controversial stuff first, yes, I thought I was perhaps going a bit far. Obviously, the HP world doesn't exist so I didn't see how anyone could in the real Muggle world make the comparison. Yet, Harry has had some rather incomplete religious instruction, so he is trying to understand things in his own mind and he's not even very aware that what he says is that controversial. In my mind, when he says, "does it matter though?" he's thinking on the lines of would it matter whether your pure-blood or Muggle, or Muggle-born, because that's what he knows but I may have to either change this or put a disclaimer here because the last thing I want is to offend anyone. Harry is not voicing my own views here and I thought it was logical for him to make this connection. I didn't see the real danger, just because the HP world doesn't exist but maybe I was being insensitive."

Thanks so much for your review.

Hugs x


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Review #6, by JLHufflepuff 

13th May 2008:
Father McKenna definitely sees almost all the strange things the wizarding world has to offer, from apparition to Luna and her antics! :) That's a lot to be exposed to in one day. One thing I think is very interesting is that you are able to discuss some of the themes that exist in the series and the relationship to Christianity because of the priest's presence in the story.

The only thing I'm not sure about is where the lines are kind of blurry. I don't view the "sorcery" in HP to actually be what real sorcery is, if that makes sense. It's kind of like comparing apples to oranges in my mind. So for Father Sean to be worried about that when encountering Harry and Draco seems a little off for me. However, this is, as I've said before, one place where I differ from what some other Christians believe. I think Father Sean is a good representation of how the average person of faith might react to finding out that magical folk exist! ;) I also think it's realistic that Harry and Draco both expect him to be closed-minded and are surprised that he is quite the opposite! :)

So I can't wait to see how things turn out and how you are going to tie it all together.

Author's Response: I must admit I was very nervous as to whether I was offending practising Christians here, which of course is the last thing I want to do. Thankfully, although people are, quite rightly expressing their reservations, everyone has been very polite so far.

Like yourself, if the HP world existed, I would take that the sorcery referred to in the Bible refers to sorcery to do evil, in other words, what the DEs do.

This chapter was hard to write. It was hard to put myself in the shoes of a Catholic priest, even if he's a tolerant and open minded one. I'm so pleased that you think he comes across realistically.

The idea of bringing Luna into this was just too tempting! I must admit, if this were to happen to me, i.e. wake up one morning in Diagon Alley, I don't know how I would react either!

I hope I haven't offended you, though.

Hugs x


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Review #7, by Joanne K 

13th May 2008:
I loved Father McKenna's introduction to the wizarding world, and it was so like Draco to be totally bored by it all.

I thought Harry and Ginny's interaction was quite cute and couldn't help but laugh - ahhh teenage hormones lol.

I must say I wasn't completely comfortable with Harry's insinuation that Christ may have been a wizard, then again neither was Father McKenna obviously and Harry did well to change the subject.

I look forward to the next chapter.

Author's Response: This chapter was just so hard to write!

Starting with the controversial stuff first, yes, I thought I was perhaps going a bit far. Obviously, the HP world doesn't exist so I didn't see how anyone could in the real Muggle world make the comparison. Yet, Harry has had some rather incomplete religious instruction, so he is trying to understand things in his own mind and he's not even very aware that what he says is that controversial. In my mind, when he says, "does it matter though?" he's thinking on the lines of would it matter whether your pure-blood or Muggle, or Muggle-born, because that's what he knows but I may have to either change this or put a disclaimer here because the last thing I want is to offend anyone. Harry is not voicing my own views here and I thought it was logical for him to make this connection. I didn't see the real danger, just because the HP world doesn't exist but maybe I was being insensitive.

Yes, I have to add some comedy to a chapter which is well, potentially deep and controversial. Harry's hormones, yes... but although he doesn't know it yet, when they actually become lovers, it's going to get dangerous because their minds will meet, not just their bodies and well, with the connection Voldy has with both of them... my advice to Harry would be to take a cold shower!

I may owl you on the whole controversial issue though.

But thanks so much for your sincere review and I hope I haven't offended you.

Hugs x


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Review #8, by Bella_Portia 

13th May 2008:
As I said in my PM, I thought this was a really strong and entertaining chapter.

I enjoyed that first scene with the priest.
Where Father Sean says that stuff about the II Vatican Council, I did think that was a bit OOC/pretentious for such a down-to-earth guy.
And Harry: where he says, "as per Jesus' teachings" -- the "as per" struck me as really well, the sort of thing a lawyer might say but no normal person ever would.
"like Jesus taught" maybe? (Otherwise, it's a really good paragraph that touches on major themes in HP.)

"Satan himself had been behind it." -- this seemed a bit simplistic for a pretty bright and open-minded guy. I kinda thought the reference to Black Magic made the point.

"blacklisted them . . ." That must be a British expression. In the U.S., to blacklist someone means to shut them out, usually from employment. "Hit list" is what we might say, but I don't think it has a verb form. "Set them down for killing . . ."

Without taking the room to cite in detail, I liked the reference to Wiccan belief. And it underscores that Sean is pretty open minded.

This is a really nice scene, and it has a beautiful ending with the priest sort of won over and giving the boys a hug. My major criticism of the end was that you moved it on so abruptly. It would not have been the worst thing in the world if you’d let them have their moment of reconciliation. It’s a big moment.

IN THE CHURCH:
just plainly lying to me -- "just plain lying"
"jump through loops." -- is this what you Brits do? We say "Jump through hoops."

Overall, I liked this scene. The dialogue felt natural and dynamic; you could easily hear the boys' voices.

BACK WITH THE PRIEST:
I loved this scene. The part where Draco couldn't suppress a little giggle was just so perfect and in character with the tense but absurd situation. The priest's reaction, Harry's importuning, all worked really well.

GRIMMAULD PLACE
". . .I think a lot of the problem with him is front, actually." -- I like it a lot when characters are actually perceptive. This little insight into Draco -- your Draco -- was excellent. And it makes Harry seem empathetic and smart.

"'Have you lost the plot?'” -- I could not tell whether this was a Brit expression or a typo. (We lose our minds or, sometimes, our marbles.)

They had to think and fast. (Comma after think.)

Moody's questions were very interesting. I have got to ask you, in a PM, why you chose the questions you did, because it was not clear to me how Moody would know the answers were valid, truthful or correct (or whatever the criterion was).

BACK AT THE PRIEST'S HOUSE
The scene where Harry transforms into Molly was great. With Draco laughing and Sean begging forgiveness, it was a lovely comic scene that had nice bits for everyone.

DIAGON ALLEY
"He must admit the odour of the place was rather poignant." Did you mean "pungent"?

"'Harry wasn't sure what he had blurted out that Fleur had been pregant [pregnant]. . . ("why" he had blurted out . . .?). . . been more of a shock.'" My reaction was that only the most revolting bluenose could hear this story and give a thought to the fact that the bride was pregnant out of wedlock. You've presented Fr. Sean as more humane and open-minded than that. I don't think it would cross his mind, even though he is /i> a priest.

At least she wasn’t murdered,” Harry commented as they past Quidditch Quality Suplies. [Supplies]
Since you are moving from a heavy, heavy topic to a rather light one, perhaps a bit more transition is in order.

I do think the priest would have overcome his prejudice and been entranced by QQS. I mean -- flying brooms. Football on flying brooms! How could anyone not love that?

"'Yes, He did, but, Harry, miracles aren't common, . . .thinking on the lines that Jesus was like your kind, are you?'" -- depending on how deeply you want to get into Fr. Sean's head, this goes to the essence of what scares him about these two boys: namely, are the miracles that form the core of his religious faith merely equivalent to the magic of wizards. Because if it is, how do Jesus and the saints fit into this world?

This is a wonderful and thoroughly enjoyable chapter. I really had a good time reading it. I like the thought that you put into it, and I really like the interaction between Harry and Draco. I also think your OC is excellent.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the wonderful review and for making so many points and spotting errors etc.

I'll go trough the errors/comments first:

1. The reference to II V Council. I'll try to think of another way, but I'll have to think on this one.

2. Harry's speach, yes, I'm subconsciously probably trying to turn him into a lawyer(ha, ha!) poor kid. I have now changed this to "as in the Bible".

3. Thanks for pointing out the simplistic reference. I have now removed this sentence.

4. You're right about blacklisted, we do use it in the context of employment too. I'll change them to "he went after them".

Yes, I thought I needed to tie up how some of these elements are often found in "various" Muggle doctrines.

The scene ending abruptly, I will try and see how I can improve this. Feel free to pm any ideas in this regard if you have any.

6. I've change plainly to "plain". Now losing the plot is a British sland expression, yes.

7. It's jump through hoopes, of course. That was just a typo. Now fixed.

8. to think, and fast; comma now added.

I'm so please you like the interaction between Harry and Draco and Father Sean's characterisation. This is making my day!

9. Pungent is the correct worse. Sometimes I don't know how my brain wanders around...

10. Moody's questions; I will have to explain this better. My thought is that as long as Harry was telling the truth, it would work even if Moody didn't know the answers but I may have to modify this. I put it there partly for comic relief.

11. I agree with you about the Fleur thing, hence he ignores the fact but I may reword this later.

12. I'll try to think of a way of doing the transition.

13. I thought he was quite in awe and almost in favour but I'll re-read the brooms scene again and see what I can do.

14. This topic is quite controversial but let's see how this is received.

I have to go now but this review was wonderful and ever so helpful! x



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Review #9, by Labby 

12th May 2008:
Another great chapter as always! I love how you're combining the Muggle and wizarding world a bit here and how you're continuing to use McKenna. He's such an interesting character and it's nice to see him surprised by the knowledge of the wizarding world, but just taking everything in. I love how Draco and Harry and working together here too. Who knew. Hehe.. Harry changed into Molly? I wonder why he chose her. I also liked the part where Moody questioned Harry. It seemed so realistic that he wanted to know what Harry was up to and he did it through the questioning. Anyways, I liked this chapter a lot and I'm looking forward to more as always!

Author's Response: Thanks so much again. I must say I would be shocked myself to discovered their world had I not read Harry Potter! The priest has his concerns about all this sorcery but he is rather an inquisitive person, so his curiosity is sort of winning here.

Harry turns into Molly because her hairs were easily obtainable from her hairbrush and because he knows that she is not likely to go to Diagon Alley that day, so she's not likely to find her spitting image there, also because of the back-up story of her squib Irish cousin. Now, when she gets the hairs, Ginny does have an idea...but I don't think it's guessable yet.

Draco and Harry waste too much energy at times engaged in power games and Harry is beginning to tire of this.

Moody's questions, yeah, sneaky... but I thought I add a bit of humor here.

Thanks so much and I'm so glad that you liked it!


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Review #10, by Shellee 

12th May 2008:
I'm sorry that this review is probably going to suck. I've read through it in a few parts and I loved it. I love how Sean is. It's all so much to take in, yet he listens and decides to help them. It probably is very difficult to tell him too, like that. Hehe, he's turned into Molly, mahaha, that's good! I hope Harry gets everywhere alright and he finds Snape's book. And that Sean and Draco don't get into trouble somehow. Lovers it!

Author's Response: Of course your review doesn't suck. In fact it's most encoraging. Yes, the situation must seen so unbelievable to a Muggle that it was hard to describe. I'm so pleased that you like it.

Thanks so much for your review.


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Review #11, by Snitchsista 

11th May 2008:
Lol, good stuff Morgana! I think it's really cool. I liked the conversations with Harry and Draco. They fit for your story. :) Wicked stuff!

Author's Response: First of all my apologies because what you saw posted is only a part of my chapter. The formatting went crazy and it wouldn't let me post the whole thing, so you may want to go back and read the rest. Sorry about that!

I'm so glad you like my Harry -v- Draco. They are going to have to try to be civilised to one another if they are to colaborate.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! x


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Review #12, by punk poet 

11th May 2008:
another good chapter. i like the connection to the bible in this story very good but i dont think its called Borgin & Burgess aint it Borgin & Burkes

Author's Response: First of all my apologies because what you saw posted is only a part of my chapter. The formatting went crazy and it wouldn't let me post the whole thing, so you may want to go back and read the rest. Sorry about that!

I've changed the name of the shop, you were absolutely right. Thanks so much for following this very long story and for your reviews.


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Review #13, by hanoverpretz01 

10th May 2008:
haha
really funny
and moodys questioning was hilarious

Author's Response: First of all my apologies because what you saw posted is only a part of my chapter. The formatting went crazy and it wouldn't let me post the whole thing, so you may want to go back and read the rest. Sorry about that!

I'm glad you're still enjoying this and thanks so much for reviewing!


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