10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Harry and Ginny 

10th January 2010:
great start 4 the 1st chapter.^_^


Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: Thanks ;)


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Review #2, by Groundswell 

24th March 2009:
I think it was a very good first chapter.
I like that you take on several point of views, or scenes, not only following one person. It gives it a good view of what's going on everywhere int he entire story. And you seem to fit so much into one chapter, it's pretty impressive. (I'd never have been able to do so)
And being a huge canon follower, I have two things that're bothering me here. First, James Potter was a chaser, JKR have said so even though it says otherwise in the film. And second, I couldn't help to notice the line about Snape becoming Potionsmaster right after graduation. Looking it up, I found that he doesn't become so before another few years.
I'm a bit surprised that Sirius seems to change so fast. I mean, first he's extremely mad at Lily and later they're best buds, doing homework together.
Good first chapter. I really like it!

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Review #3, by rachm34 

11th December 2008:
Wowww! This was a really good thought out chapter and I honestly have no cc for it. I'm sorry about that! I really like your knack and ability at how you are able to write the details they are beautiful. I am very glad that you also incorporated a flashbakc in your writing. They can be amazing literary tools and help us understand the past of your character more. Great beginning

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Review #4, by Dollmage 

13th June 2008:
Very good. Well written and well thought out

Author's Response: Thank you,

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Review #5, by rosai_gryffindor 

31st May 2008:
hummm... what to say?

lol! :D

no, this is extremely brilliant, this is why i'm not sure how to go about reviewing! simply because it is so intense and angsty! i thought you wrote it very well, with loads of emotion and vivid descriptions, i really felt as if i were there! and i like for a change how mean and snappy lily is, i think a lot of the time shes too nice and 'i hate james potter but secretly i dont'. in this story, you bring across the impression nicely that she really does hate him in a very heartless and selfish way, and that his now ill condition is bringing her down to earth and shocking her with the truth of the matter; that james is a human being like everyone else, and has feelings that can be hurt and hopes that can be crushed!

you also wrote the urgency of the situation brilliantly, and sirius' character hit me as being quite strong and true. that flashback was also a nice touch, it wasnt too long or too short, and gave us a good insight to how things were with james and lily!

so, great start! apart from the few grammar mistakes and typos this was wonderful!

will be back to review part two in a bit!

Rose :)

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Review #6, by Iced_Cherriez 

31st May 2008:
Okay, that was a good chapter and I am really liking where this story is going - I am all for the James' angst - it is, after all, what my own newest story is all about.
One thing though - I think you seem to use exclaimation marks a little too much. You should only use them if a character is shouting something or exclaiming something loudly or excitedly. I noticed in Madam Pomfrey's conversation there were some unwanted exclaimamation marks that made it rather difficult to read and almost comic - and I am certain you didn't really want that response.
Well done! keep up the good work,

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Review #7, by hayley 

20th May 2008:
i loved it sooo
much you are such a good writer
I love the title too.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Stay tuned for more!

Hugs, Lily

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Review #8, by Miss Haggan 

18th May 2008:
ohh very good poor James hope he gets better.

Author's Response: Well, that would be telling, wouldn't it now? *grins slyly*

Hugs, Lily M.E Potter

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Review #9, by CardboardBoxesTakeUs 

17th May 2008:
That is such a good story!!! I feel terrible for James, everything is going badly. I love your character Alice, she reminds me of the character Alice from Twilight. Great job, can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! That you feel terrible for James was the general idea, so it's good to know I achieved my goal. I'm not familiar with Twilight though, I wrote Alice how I imagine any true friend would have acted in that situation.

Thanks for the beauztiful review,
Lily Marie Evans Potter

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Review #10, by C D johnson 

16th May 2008:
Hi Lils!

This is ansolutley fantastic, I think its brillaint =) You have done a wonderful job. All the characters were in perfect characterisation, you really have shown them at their best!

I really do love your writing style you know, the style in which you write flows smoothly and it really seems to make your story come to life!

A deffinate 10/10!!!

Update soon!

Yours Magically,

Author's Response: Hi Craig,
You are amazing, you know that? this is the second time you're first to review one of my stories! As to updating, the story is completely written and I will submit the next part as soon as my current one-shot, "Love Lessons" gets validated! The queue is eleven days at the moment, how lousy is that?

Cheers, Lily

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