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14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by celticbard 

2nd March 2009:
Hi morgana!
I'm here to review your fic as requested ^_^ Poor Mrs. Weasley! I just wanted to reach out and hug her. The news of Percy's betrayal was such a shock and I suppose it was only natural for her to react with such anger and sorrow. I'm glad she has Harry, Hermione and the rest of her children for comfort. I am, however, anxious to see what Percy does. Will he approach his mother and will she rebuff him completely? You've set up a fascinating conflict here.

I also really enjoyed Malfoy's appearance in this chapter. His hesitancy is both realistic and intriguing. I do feel sorry for him, even though I'm not entirely certain he deserves my pity yet. Harry has quite a challenge ahead of him, though, if he wishes to find out more about Narcissa's death. Something tells me Draco will be quite reluctant to disclose the little he knows.

I only noticed a few minor errors in this chapter. They are as follows.

"Harry has been more of a brother to me that Percy all these years
This should be, to me than Percy

She went up to Harry and gave him a hug, one of her usual ones but, this time. Thick tears were covering her face.
This should be one sentence, I think...one of her usual ones, but this time, thick tears...

Yes, he was related to the bride and her parents have tried to help him after his mother died but still,
This should be, parents had tried

James and Sirius would have been so happy for him if they could see him now, which such a lovely bride!
This should be, see him now, with such a lovely bride!

As always, please feel free to drop by queue and request another review. I'd love to continue reading. Have a great week!

Best,
celticbard

Author's Response: Thanks so much once again. You are so good and throrough. Poor Molly indeed! She's in complete denial and the only thing that saved Harry from more of her temper was the fact that he had a very narrow escape healthwise. Molly truly does love Harry as one of her own, or almost, but there will be various instances in this story when she is truly mad at him. Of course, here it's not Harry's fault but he is the bearer of very bad news. As you saw in a previous chapter, Percy "has" to contact Molly. Now, I have something out of my sleeve here too, and someone may make the first move before he does.

Draco, well, Harry needs to find out what Voldy is actually doing as he seems to have found a way of killing/making people sick from a distance, which is a rather worrying new skill. Draco has a request of his own to make of Harry, which will bring back into the story an OC that you have seen a couple of times before.

I'm so pleased that you are enjoying my silly multi-layer plots. Thanks sooo much! x


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Review #2, by SpringTime 

15th November 2008:
When Molly is about to leave the Granger house there is an owl that taps on the window, I think a little bit more narrative would be good here to show that she opened the letter, and then she should say that it was Arthur wondering where she was.
I wonder what Harry realized while watching the TV. Good way to bring in some more mystery.
I am also glad that Arthur and Moody are aware enough to not want to trust Percy :)
Bad Percy! :)

Author's Response: Poor Molly just doesn't want to believe that one of her own kids can be a traitor. The rest of the Order are a lot more cautions though.

Now, what Harry sees will give him an idea in terms of breaking into Gringotts. A clue was planted before in the message from Charlie.

Good point too about getting Molly to open the message.


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Review #3, by Shellee 

20th April 2008:
Even though I love Molly Weasley, I am glad she isn't my mother. She's too nice and a bit too motherly. Always thinking about her children and even others! Of course it would be so hard on her to know Percy was working with Voldemort. I don't really think that any mother would really want to know that, or hear that. Even though, their ties had been rather severed before. I'm glad that Mr. Granger has ways to get Harry better, would be very bad if he didn't! Then they could finally attend the party. Eeh! Oh and that uhm geographical thinger, it's like the thing where Voldemort is at, isn't it? Dammit I have trouble with getting this review out, I keep getting distracted and forgetthing things. Hmm, hopefully Draco can help some more, I love Draco!

Author's Response: I see what you mean about Molly. She's lovely but a bit overwhealming. She reacts very badly to Harry for being the messanger but at least Ron and Ginny stick out for him and Molly sees sense in the end. Now, she is not going to accept in a hurry that her son is a traitor and that could make the whole Order very vulnerable.

Draco will play a part too in a few chapters time but it won't be a huge one until later on. I can sense a Draco fan here! lol


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Review #4, by Gords7015 

24th March 2008:
So Harry is starting to recover! Good! I liked the fact that Malfoy was not really thrilled to be at the wedding, and I'm curious as to what it was the Mr. Granger recorded on the TV for Harry! Otherwise, a really good chapter, especially Mrs. Weasley's reaction about Percy. I totally expected him to show up at the wedding!

Author's Response: Ah, what's happened to Harry is pretty important too, not so much as the unicorn thogh, but nearly... Well, the TV show will come into play too, not in the next chapter but shortly afterwards...

Percy, well, poor Molly...

Thanks so, sooo much!


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Review #5, by AnnaKay 

18th March 2008:
So Harry is finally starting to use those ample brains that he has up there in his head. It was an ingenious idea about the flat in London. Poor Mrs. Weasley having one of her sons become a traitor. Thank goodness though they got to tell her before she got any owl from Percy. Otherwise I don't think she would restrain herself.

Ah, they got married. I knew that it was going to have to be a secret wedding and it was fun! Thank goodness Harry got better and had the brain wave to record that show.

Author's Response: Well, I must say, I'm a 100% certain that you know why Harry wants the recording for! Molly, yes poor thing indeed. That's in a way worse than one of her kids dying, this is just plainly unbearable! She believes them, deep down but she is in complete denial. She even went as far as having a right go at Harry, and when he was clearly very ill. She has been warned, but still, her love for her children surpasses everything so she is still in danger of blabbing a bit.

Yes, of course they had to be married in secret but I thought I make them look really good, even if in a Muggle way. I could really picture them and I thought she had to had her hair matching her dress. I could not really see Tonks in a full blown wedding gown though.

Thanks again, ever so much!


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Review #6, by Aurora Dawn 

9th March 2008:
Here I am, all caught up.

I like seeing things from Mrs. Weasley's point of view. You have to feel sorry for her. She's confused by what she's being told, unable to believe Percy capable. She keeps grasping at straws, trying to come up with another explanation. She doesn't really believe it, does she?

Her initial reaction to the news is very typical of Mrs. Weasley -- she has been known to pitch some serious tantrums now and then. Usually not at Harry though, which goes to show how hard this is hitting her.

On the other hand, it does seem to me that she pushes Harry a little hard in the very beginning before he actually tells her. Usually I think she'd be telling the others to go away so Harry could sleep. "Yes, Harry dear, I know You-Know-Who is peeking in your bedroom window, but you aren't well and you really do need sleep. Don't worry about it. I'll call the Order and we'll take care of it for you."

I had to laugh. What were you thinking putting Tonks in heels? I can just see those wedding pictures...mud all down her front where she tripped and fell face first on the ground. I'd like to have seen that wedding.

Author's Response: Ah, you have finally caught up. I'll just have to try to write some more soon. I have about 1/3 of my next chapter. I have reviewed your latest chapter too.

Molly, bless her. Yes, one has to feel sorry for her. She can't even afford to try to look at this rationally. Yes, it is true that she normally has a go at her kids or husband, not usually at Harry. I guess they have lived together for a while now and in a way they are closer, so "familiarity breeds contempt" but poor Harry is also the bearer or bad news, a bit of the "kill the messanger" principle. She realises soon enough that she's gone too far though. You may have a point that she presses him too much given that he looks very ill. What I thought is that she is very worried about the possibility that someone may be in immediate danger there and then, she remembers the snake bite episode and she is not completely aware of how very ill Harry is. She knows he is not well, of course, but she doesn't know the details when she is urging him to speak.

Tonks in heels, yeah. She's essentially a "tomboy" but I thought she try to make an effort for her wedding. However, I could not imagine her in a full wedding gown. I thought her hair had to be platinum blonde to match the outfit. I wanted a very low key wedding because he is being persecuted. Yes, I was a bit disappointed in DH because we did not see any of their wedding at all. I thought I go mid-way and give it just a tiny bit of coverage. I thought the Registry Office was a realistic option, given the circumstances and of course, saves me from putting her in a full wedding dress.

I'm so please you have been following and reviewing the whole of the story!

Thanks so much!


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Review #7, by AriesGirl40 

4th March 2008:
Hope Perfect Percy the Prat is just doing something stupid to help the cause. Don't like the thought of a weasley trader. Harry Draco team? sounds interesting. Happy writing.

Author's Response: Well, I can't reveal what he is up to just yet or it would spoil it. Harry and Draco well, they need each other for information etc but they are not the bestest friends ever. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing.

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Review #8, by Snitchsista 

3rd March 2008:
This story is going so well! This is brilliant. The end part with Harry and Draco is perfect. I'm glad you want to check out my new story. I have tried so much to keep everyone in character. Anyway, it'll be up soon- and I'll owl you- when it is. Amazing work, Morgana! I know what you mean about working hard, I'm editing mine for a third time. Speak soon! x

Author's Response: Yes, definitely let me know. So you are up to date with this story now. I'm glad you like Harry and Draco. I hope D is realistic because I have changed him a bit but of course his circumstances are different so... wait and see. Yes, I have edited this story a few times too. I't great to hear from you and definitely let me know when your new story is up. x

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Review #9, by luvdraco87 

29th February 2008:
Okay, I decided to leave one review for all the chapters. Here is goes.. To tell you the truth I was afraid i wasn't going to like this story because I never actually read outside of Dramione bounds, well I have but not much. But your story proved me wrong. I loved it. I'm glad I decided to read it. It was very interesting, unlike anything I have ever read before. Again, I loved this story,

Constance
20/10
P.S. sorry you had to wait so long for me to reveiw it.

Author's Response: Wow, what a positive review. I'm glad that you enjoyed it even if it's not your usual type of story.

Don't worry at all about having taken some time. It's a very long story and only about half way through. I hope you continue to enjoy it when I post some more.

Thanks so much.


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Review #10, by Labby 

29th February 2008:
I know you were worried about Molly being out of character for this chapter, but I really don't think she was. It seemed like a usual reaction that she had. She's been worried about Percy for awhile and I don't think she's even been able to accept that he left them. It just seems like a first reaction of hers would not to accept it. Percy is her real child and as much as she loves Harry, I think she'd want to defend Percy more. I think it also makes sense that she takes back what she says a bit later.

So I'm wondering what Harry saw on the TV? It was an archeology show? Hmm.. I can't wait to find out - that'll be interesting. I love that Remus and Tonks are married now. Yay - I love those two. It's kind of nice to see them a bit more now because even though we heard about it in DHs, we didn't really see them together or get much from them accept in the end. I'm glad we get to know. So great chapter once again and I can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your lovely review. So, you think Molly is in character after all. I wanted her to go mad at Harry for Ron and Ginny to come up in his favour. Now, the TV show, I thought I had been obvious, but no, this is good, well the clue is "treasure". I know you'll figure out pretty soon which creatures like treasure... Remus and Tonks are very sweet, I agree. There will be a big story line with mainly him later on...

Thanks so much.


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Review #11, by Joanne K 

28th February 2008:
oooh! I wonder if Malfoy will help him!

I actually like the way you wove Draco into the reception scene, it shows how much he is becoming part of Grimmauld Place.

I'm not sure about Molly's characterisation in this chapter, but then again it's hard to know how she would react. Definitely she would defend Percy tooth and nail, but it was more her reaction to Harry I was unsure about, but I guess in the end Percy is her son and Harry is only really her 'adopted' son. And she does soften in the end, after her initial reaction. So all in all I think you handled it well. (Did I just contradict myself?)

I liked your reference to the Muggle TV show, as you know I also used this device in my own plot to help the trio make a significant connection/discovery. I am interested to find out what Harry saw that he can use to help him. I guess I will soon find out!

I picked up on only two typos this chapter:

"The first think Molly did" - should be "thing"

"Harry sighted. Why had he not thought about this before!" - should be "Harry sighed".

So I am sitting on the edge of my seat in anticipation awaiting the next chapter! Can't wait to see where this goes. :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much again. Now, having Draco at Grimmauld Place is awkward for everyone. The trio are about to move out soon though. I think it would eventually drive Harry mad to live with Draco plus they need privacy.

Molly, yes, maybe she went too mad at poor Harry. She obviously still cares very much for him, but Harry hurt her, even if he didn't have a choice. I did ponder a lot about her characterisation here.

The TV programme well, the clue is "treasure" really. Which creatures like treasure? and Harry insisted on having the thing recorded, so he will use the actual DVD not just the idea...

The typos, yes, thanks for pointing that out. I'll go and fix them. My fingers are too quick sometimes.

Draco is still very secretive and very protective of his family business but obviously the dark side is not going to hep him, so only the Order can.

Thanks so much again.


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Review #12, by hanoverpretz01 

28th February 2008:
oh
go harry!
yay!
update soon!

Author's Response: I take that you enjoy it then? Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'll update as soon as I can but I haven't started my next chapter yet, so it maybe a few days.

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Review #13, by Bella_Portia 

27th February 2008:
You dropped the hammer on poor Molly! And I think you handled her reaction thoughtfully and effectively. The dramatic crux of the story is the breaking of the news to Molly and her reaction. Even the extreme anger toward Harry is justifiable -- after all, Percy (the git!) is her baby; Harry will never be on the same footing. ("And it was me here thinking of you as one of my own!")

Where Molly says -- “That’s why you are like this now, isn’t it?” Mrs. Weasley said in an angry tone" -- it was unclear to me how Molly would have drawn this inference.

I'm sure you know, because you wanted to get this up and to your eager (and grateful:) ) readership, that there are typographical errors. The only one I will point out is this:
" a fury he knew he was about to be the recipient of."
-- normally, I try not to be the grammar Nazi, but you need this to be too strong a sentence to end it with a preposition, which gives it a weak ending.

Is the Wolfbane potion in the Potions book? Its a really hard potion; I always thought it was beyond typical NEWT level.

More Draco! More more more.

Author's Response: Yes, I could feel Harry's angst as he was trying to break the news, and the others' well, frighten feeling (if there is such a word!). Yes, when I started the thread, I seriously considered your views on this, since you are a mother to adult children. I think you put yourself in Molly's shoes for me and I'm just so grateful for the insight.

Now, Molly was angry with Harry at first, like Hermione, but risking his health for the sake of information. She made the connection because he told her he forced reliving the incident.

No, I don't mind you pointing grammar errors to me at all, on the contrary, I'm very grateful.

Now, the potion, well, yes it's beyond their level... and Draco well, Harry has been scared out of his wits by Mr Granger, he knows he would have died, so...

I'm so grateful for the prompt response. I wrote the Draco bit with you in mind. I guess this is a rare priviledge that we have in fanfic. In real life, say if I was JKR, I might have to conduct a weekly poll!

Ah, I gave a fairly detailed response to Jessie, so you may found more details in that one but it got that long that I have to chop it and e-mail her a bit on H's father! Hence I'm not repeating the whole lot, only reason, so that it doesn't get disallowed as it did before.

Thanks so much! x You guys make my day!


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Review #14, by JLHufflepuff 

27th February 2008:
You asked about whether Molly was in character on the forums, and I think she really is for the most part. I thought she reacted a bit too strongly (looking at Harry almost with hatred?) when he told her, but it was for a very brief moment.. Everything else about her characterization was great. I mean, any mother would be upset about this, and Molly is, well, Molly.

I like the Remus/Tonks after-wedding party and am glad that Harry got to go. Will Granger certainly is understanding and open-minded to venture back into the wizarding world after what happened to his family before.

I'm a bit skeptical about Harry going to get the Wolfsbane potion as a wedding present for Remus, but Harry often does unpredictable things for those he cares about .. so it's in character.

Anyway, I'm glad to see another chapter... You're writing this fast! :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing and so soon! Now, you are spot on on the hatred remark. I'm taking that out. I thing she should anger but no hatred. What I was trying to deal with was how see would initially view Harry-v- Percy. Percy is her natural son and I think there maybe something inbuilt there, that before she thinks things through she would come on the side of her actual son, in contrast to Ron's and Ginny's reactions. They are sibblings to Percy and I think sometimes is possible to prefer a true, true friend to a sibbling, with a mother I just don't know whether that can be the case. Of course, it can turn out that your sibbling is also your best friend but that's not the case here, obviously. I wanted Ron's loyalty to Harry to show in an extreme way. Mind you, most of the Weasleys, a bit like Harry, engage mouth first and then think about whether they have hurt someone's feelings. Ron and Ginny love their mother and care about Percy but Ron is up the end of his tether with him. Also Ginny fights her man's cause pretty ferociously.

I think I might have rushed the wedding party a little. I may add a bit more about Mr and Mrs Tonks and I have a possible funny idea about Molly having made very hot samosas (Patil twins recipe) by mistake.

What did you make out of the treasury program bit. I'm sure it's obvious where Harry's mind is going.

Sorry I have probably almost psycho-analysed my characters here! and as always, thanks so, so much, especially since you are that terribly busy!

Rest of the review by pm on the forum in a minute! It was too long, I'm afraid.


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