46 Reviews Found

Review #1, by hogwartsdearest 

7th October 2009:
when i first saw that this story in the lists for so many dobby's i was skeptical, i mean a pre hogwarts story about merope gaunt? but i was completely wrong! this story is absolutely fantastic. i am totally addicted... i havent been able to do any work today because i have been reading this story

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Review #2, by rosie_sirius93 

21st January 2009:
wow!!! He liked her and she still gave him the potion??!! I love how you've made them friends, it is a great idea rather than her forcing him to have the potion or giving it to him by stealth. But its just going to make it even more sad later on! I really like your Tom, he actually seems sweeter than I imagined and now I hope he goes with Merope!

Author's Response: She had to be sure that he would fall in love with her :) The only way to do that was to use the potion. I'm happy that you liked the way I brought them together. I didn't like the idea that Dumbledore suggested in the book - that Merope just came up to Tom and offered him a drink on a hot day. It seems out of character for her and I don't think she'd have the guts to approach him like that. Thanks so much for the review!

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Review #3, by sazel_c 

27th October 2008:
Oh man, this so can not end happily...

Author's Response: Haha I so agree with you :( This is not going to end well!

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Review #4, by savagebeginnings 

25th October 2008:
Hello again! I don't know if I said it before, but I really like the friendship that you have between Merope and Tom. It's such a perfect way to set this chapter up! I had always wondered how she would have given him the love potion. Honestly, when I read the book, I figured that she kind of snuck around and slipped it to him. It never occurred to me that she might have befriended him. Definitely a unique way to look at things.

I really like the changes that you've made in Tom. I don't quite know the right words to express how you've described him, but he's become one of my favorite characters in this! Cecilia is starting to get on my nerves though. Never really liked people who scoff at other less fortunate than themselves. It's just mean. Overall, I love the development of the plot in this chapter!

Author's Response: Oh thanks dear, I'm glad you like Tom and Merope's friendship. I think it makes it a lot more tragic and poignant, setting it up for the end since we know that he discovers the love potion - with them being friends beforehand, Merope's love potion will seem even more like a betrayal of his trust.

In the book, I think Dumbledore suggested that Merope offered Tom a drink on a hot day. To me, that seems kind of out there. Merope is a shy, sheltered girl and Tom is her hero. Imagine the shy little schoolgirl who has a crush on an older boy - would she have the courage to strike up a random conversation with him, completely out of the blue? I just didn't agree with that and didn't like the idea of timid Merope going out there and handing him a water bottle, you know? So I tried building it up a different way.

Aw, thank you, I'm glad you like Tom! I like him too - I sympathize with his character and I refuse to write him as a villain. His son is enough of a villain! Cecilia is definitely an all-out snob; she's just been raised that way.

Thanks for your review, hun!

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Review #5, by Tor Petty 

21st October 2008:
Ohh... So MEROPE is the rude one because she 'intruded' into their little trash flinging conversation? Haha. I love how you portray Cecilia. So blissfully unaware and conceited. I would like to see Rose and Havering get together, though. That'd be nice.

Although I know how the story goes, I wish Bethe hadn't given the blessing. So sad.

Great ending to a chapter, also! Wonderful, wonderful. I love this story.

Author's Response: Hey again, Tor :) Yes, Cecilia is a spoiled brat and very snobby. If she and Merope were American and in a high school, they would probably be the snotty cheerleader and the quiet, artsy girl with a sensitive soul. LOL. Thanks for the review!

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Review #6, by long_live_luna_bellatrix 

20th October 2008:
Hey, it's me, long_live_luna_bellatrix from the forums.

I was actually reading this when the site crashed, so I picked up reading where I left off. It is very, very good. Your descriptions make it sound as if you live in Tom's time, in a Manor as large as his. It makes for a very enjoyable read. I am dragged in every time I return for another chapter.

Everything was great here: flow is flowing perfectly, your plot remains amazing, grammar excellent, characters stunning. Way to go! This is a beautifully written story, definite 10/10!

Author's Response: Hello my dear! :) Thanks so much for responding to my request! I was so excited when I saw your thread open, there don't seem to be very many open slots in that section - guess everyone is so busy or already overloaded with requests!

I'm so glad you enjoyed reading this :) And thanks for saying that about the flow, that's the main thing I was worried about - I often switch between characters but I try my best to keep the storylines fluid. Thanks so much for reviewing!

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Review #7, by Misty_Rey 

7th May 2008:
Aaw Jules, you don't have to have another chapter dedicated to me! This is like the second one you know ^_-. But I'm flattered and honoured, thank you!

The first paragraph was absolutely lovely. The descriptions were smooth and you used simple words to paint a picture in the reader's mind. It's one of my favourite things about your story really, not having to decipher thick paragraphs just to grasp the describing of something or other. You keep paragraphs at a reasonable length and the sentences not too short and yet not too long and babbling. It's a good style to have so stick to it ;). I also really liked the description of Merope from Cecilia's point of view. It was a fair assessment of her appearance and wasn't completely 'black' or 'white'. You thankfully avoided "Euw, she's hideous!" and "Oh, she's gorgeous!". I at first thought Cecilia was being maybe a bit too generous in her description of Merope's looks but after rereading it, I changed my mind and thought that was a fairly reasonable description. The narration is great as well! My favourite part was Rose's bitterness about Cecilia and John. It really hit home for me and the terms used were unique in that I have yet to come across them in other stories. Can I say that your vocabulary in this particular chapter was very impressive? Words like 'genteel' and 'gainsaid'... Woah, very appropriate for the time period ^_^. Which brings me to my next observation. The dialogue was absolutely brilliant! You pulled off the 'old period' way of talking and language incredibly well, I really did feel like I was reading a real period-type novel. It really did feel like something from Austen or Dickens, wonderful job!

Oh wow... The scene between Merope and Bethe was intense! There were just so many things right about this. Bethe's stern warning and explanation about the impossibility of bottling true love, Merope's deluded expectations... All amazingly written and beautiful. But I was especially happy to see that Merope's insanity and instability were incorporated. If I'm not mistaken, I have mentioned in previous reviews that I would've like to see more of her lunacy portrayed so I was very glad to see that shades of it were finally revealed =D.

Your characterization in this chapter was particularly remarkable. Cecilia's attitude and behaviour was believable and typical of her class. From one aspect, she comes across as a snooty, pretty, rich and all-around archetypal petty lady. But it's this normality about her that also makes her relatable and keeps her from being over-the-top. Rose was also a nice addition as the resentful, bratty younger sister. Oh, and the scene where Tom meets Cecilia and Rose in Bethe's shop, I actually felt the urge to slap him, he was so full of himself, thinking that everybody loved him and dropped at his feet =P. A thoroughly unpleasant man. I don't like him but I do like how you write and portray him. The fact that he snuck out of the party to meet Merope was odd but at least it was alluded to him enjoying her company and more in the sense of 'friendship' and 'companionship' than anything else so it was slightly believable. The dinner party was also very interesting; I really liked reading the short tidbits describing each very minor character that spoke. It was reminiscent of reading an actual novel. The various hints dropped here and there were clever ;), I managed to catch I think all of them. John Havering's drunken ramblings were entertaining to read.

Aah, the locket. Very creepy and suspenseful that part was. Though brief, I can't help but think it made a significant impact. The note by Bethe attached to the potion was subtlety poignant and struck a chord with me. To think that if Bethe wasn't so nice and resisted harder... Ah well, then there wouldn't have been a HP story aye? ;).

Brilliant job, Jules, one of your best chapters to date! A well-deserved 10/10.


Author's Response: Mistyyy! I'm so glad you're back :D I saw the length of these two monster reviews and I just knew they were from you, you sweetheart. Yay and you enjoyed these two chapters, which is amazing praise coming from you. :)

Yeah I didn't want to go overboard regarding the description of Merope. It wouldn't be realistic to have Cecilia barf at her appearance (she has seen her before, riding past the cottage with Tom) and it also wouldn't be realistic to have her be like "Wow she's gorgeous!" Because let's put it frankly, she's not supposed to be. She doesn't really have any reason to be kind or polite to Merope either, you know? It's the weird crazy girl who lives in your boyfriend's village, you wouldn't really go out on a limb to chat with her - at least that's the way I would think of it.

Hee hee - glad you liked the vocabulary. :D And I'm even happier that you liked the pivotal scene between Bethe and Merope; it's the turning point of the story. This whole story is about decisions, and it is then that Merope makes a choice and can't really ever take it back after that. She's the most normal Gaunt (at least she is in my story) and I do remember you saying you wished she'd be a little crazier, but since Marvolo and Morfin are already so over-the-top, I wanted Merope's insanity to be a little bit more subtle. She has shades of childish dependence and faith in everything she reads, an unhealthy obsession with things that she can't have (and people), and a pretty ruthless way about her when she sees a means to an end. She's passive-aggressive and when the going gets tough, she'll cop out completely as you'll see later on. Merope has problems for sure.

Yay you liked my description of Cecilia! Too often characters are lumped into a category. "Oh, she's supposed to be this way" or "Oh, that's not what he's like!" Just because someone is beautiful and happens to be hanging out with Tom Riddle, doesn't mean she's a rich bitchy girl and that's it. I wanted her (and Rose) to be more than a flat supporting character; after all, she is the one who loses Tom.

Tom's a jerk! I'm happy that you see that, because I think people think he's been too nice so far. :) He's full of himself and controlling, and he's got issues of his own too.

I'm thrilled that you liked this chapter Misty! :) Now I'm going on to answer your other ginormous review :D :D

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Review #8, by shadowycorner 

6th May 2008:
I'm really beginning to see Slytherin's imprints in Merope's personality. Her determination, boldness and that little too much desire for love and her way of obtaining it. Also, Slytherin's Locket seems as though it was possessed by some little speck of Slytherin, too, urging Merope with her task, helping her with what would eventually be her downfall. The parallels, facts and your own imaginings in this story are so well-constructed and neat that this work is really becoming quite flawless in most places. Once again I have to stop reading, but yay, two chapters left and I'll catch up! :D You're becoming one of my favorite writers here! Can i ask your name? I mean, it would sound better than 'Hi Girldetective85!' :)


PS: Bethe's friendship with Merope is lovely, and bittersweet in a way that friends and humans make mistakes, intending to help and ending up misleading the hearts.

Author's Response: Good job making that connection! Underneath the timidity and the naivete, Merope is a Slytherin through and through. They'll do anything to get what they want, and good luck to anyone who's in the way. Aha you are the second person to connect Slytherin to the locket - well done. Hold that thought! ;)

Yes the friendship between the two women is an example of what happens when your priorities aren't quite clear. In any relationship, it has to be a two-way thing ... if one friend is just using the other for the time being and will throw her off at the first opportunity, it ain't going to last long. Same with Tom and Merope's "love" - if it's all on one side, it can't be a healthy thing. And in their case, it obviously isn't because she sees the need to drug him in order to have him marry her!

Haha I am so glad you're having a good time reading the story! That is what I strive for and it means so much. :D You can call me Jules! Thanks SO much for all of your reviews so far and I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story! Ch. 10 is cookin' away so you may have 3 chapters to read, depending on how long the lovely queue is. Thanks Elizabeth! *hugs*

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Review #9, by ButterflyRogue 

4th May 2008:
I think this chapter is my favorite so far... Such deep development of characters!! And making Tom infatuated with Merope even before the potion gives more to the tragedy of the story. The events on the party seemed to flow with such ease... I really envy your skill to completley suck me inside the story and make me "see" everything that's going on...

So is this Bethe's role in everything? Making the love potion for Merope?

You really left me a bit at loss of words here... I'm not quite sure what more to say but that it was very, very good!! I'll cut the review short because I just can't wait to resume my reading!!

Author's Response: I think this chapter is one of my personal favorites too, mostly because the love potion was one of the things I looked forward to writing the most. :) You're right, Tom's growing friendship with Merope certainly adds to the tragedy of the story - and if you think about it, it would make a lot more sense for him to be so angry when he discovers what she's been doing to him. It's a lot less hurtful when a stranger betrays you than when a person you considered a friend does it.

Making the potion was one of Bethe's roles, yes, but she was also the one who introduced the idea to Merope in the first place. She also gave Merope the friendship and the prophecy, two main points that propelled and encouraged Merope to pursue Tom more actively.

Thanks! :)

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Review #10, by momotwins 

1st May 2008:
I love love love Cecilia and Rose's (and Tom's) dialogue in this chap, it's perfect. So very aristocratic and Jane Austen-y. Bethe is very prescient in her convo with Merope - and Merope is brilliantly done, I can easily see this happening, and her state of mind as she thinks about the love potion. Wow. Really excellently written. It's so sad, there's such a feeling of inevitability about the wedding and the love potion, where if the wedding had been postponed and she had just waited, maybe he would have...

Author's Response: Cecilia and Rose and Tom are sooo snobby. I had a lot of fun writing their conversation. I could just picture them walking around the village with their noses in the air.

I think Bethe has reasons for worrying about Merope's crush, but she also has a subconscious understanding (probably related to her prophetic ability) that it's not going to turn out all pretty. Too bad Merope is too crazy about him to listen, because she's at the point of no return now...

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Review #11, by Bella_Portia 

24th April 2008:
The use of the diamond, which will make another appearance, was an effective touch.

But it was in this chapter, especially, that I realized how effectively you use dreams to illuminate not only the particular character's subconscious but also the as-yet-unexpressed desires of other characters and the imminent direction of the plot. You did it here with Cecilia's dream.

The relationship between the sisters is nicely done. I like the sort-of rivalry regarding John, as well as the conversation that leads them to discuss a love potion.

Even though Cecilia is described as a vain and arrogant young woman, she somehow comes across as more sensative than that. And so it kind of bothered me that she (and her sister) would talk about Merope in the manner she did, in her presence and possibly within earshot. It also seemed odd that she would feel no shame at being caught in the act. I understand the rationale; yet, given the sympathetic way you'd drawn Cecilia, it seemed a bit out of character for her to be such a jerk.

I didn't understand why Bethe said the hair tonic "was not for sale."

The discussion between Bethe and Merope about the love potion was fascinating -- probably the most interesting part of the chapter. The part that threw me a bit was, while I understood Bethe's hesitation, her sense of doom was so very great. It was as thought she had a premonition of a terrible outcome, except she wasn't letting Merope in on it right then. Of course, she was right; but perhaps a bit more in the way of inner monologue by Bethe would have been helpful, to clarify her words."'I have done all I can to save you. I have warned you repeatedly. Do not blame me when what I have said comes to pass,' Bethe replied gravely. 'Do you acknowledge this?'"

The scene at the Manor, where Tom leaves Cecilia waiting, was outstanding.

But the final brief one, where he takes his glass of potion, unknowingly, was best of all. As I mentioned in the forum, I thought the bit where the locket instructs her in how to administer the love potion was just terrific.

Great chapter with many wonderful elements.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked the significance of Cecilia's dream :) I'm very intrigued by dreams and how they often tell us things about ourselves that we're not conscious of. Cecilia's love for Tom is a lost cause and she'll never be able to find what she wants; she has already realized this but just can't accept it ... yet.

I understand - I've portrayed Cecilia as more of a mature, understanding character, but keep in mind that she is only this way around people of her class. Perhaps she was taking her frustrations about Tom out on Merope, or perhaps she simply doesn't believe that Merope would be intelligent enough or emotional enough to care.

Thanks for the suggestion about Bethe! I think she doesn't really know why her feeling of disaster is so strong; it's her intuition that this relationship is not meant to be. Her common sense is basically telling her that karma will come back for Merope for tricking an innocent person. There's something not quite right about the situation and Bethe feels it instinctively, however willing Merope is to overlook it.

Thank you very much for your insightful review :) It was extremely helpful to hear your opinion!

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Review #12, by _DearMyLove_ 

13th April 2008:
Wow another brilliant chapter. I cannot fault you! No matter how hard I try…no I’m totally joking ^_^ I think what makes this story such a pleasure to read is that you don’t write as though it’s fanfiction. You’ve approached this as a work of fiction first, and a work of fanfiction second, which just makes it a pleasure to read!

I liked the focus on Cecilia in this chapter. Reading this story has sort of made me feel quite sorry for her, despite the way she treats Merope. I can’t help but feel that she wants to be with Tom and will be desperately upset when the story reaches its inevitable conclusion…which makes me sad :’( It was interesting how she and Rose create the idea of a love potion, though. By buying the potion, Cecilia is, in a way, sealing her own fate, which is quite interesting to think about.

Awh, poor Tom! He was trying to be so nice with Cecilia in the village, but he really was getting the wrong end of the stick, wasn’t he? I can just imagine him chatting to Cecilia and Rose happily and them just staring at him. lol XD

Another thing I liked was the locket. I like the way it’s pretending to help Merope, when in actual fact it is condemning her. I have to wonder what would happen if she had stuck to Bethe’s ideas instead of following the locket. Would everything have still worked out the same way? Somehow, I don’t think so.

The only criticism I have about this chapter is its length. That in itself is not a problem, it’s just that it’s a lot longer than the previous chapter which sort of creates an unevenness, if you see what I mean.

Oh and I’ve got to finish with my favourite line:
“A woman always knows when a man looks into her eyes and is thinking of someone else.”
So true! ^_^

Author's Response: Everyone loves that line :) The way I've written Cecilia is that she's not the brightest bulb in the box, but she's not stupid either and she understands that something is changing between her and Tom. She's beginning to feel that she might not get the picture-perfect, fairytale ending that she's always dreamed of having with him.

I'm glad you felt sorry for Cecilia, because that was my object. I want to show these characters not as black and white, but all with their own gray areas. She and Tom (especially Tom in canon, since we know nothing about Cecilia) are supposed to be rich and snobby, but it doesn't always follow that rich and snobby people are cruel and hateful and terrible. Cecilia's redeeming factor is definitely her deep love for Tom, and that will win out over her desire for her own happiness in the end.

The locket certainly has its own sinister agenda. It is indeed helping Merope but it has its own reasons for doing so.

I know the chapter was really long compared to the rest, but this is probably the exact middle of my story as well as the turning point. Everything flowed out and I simply didn't want to chop it up.

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Review #13, by chillychick95 

12th April 2008:
I'm so sorry. But I'll review this one and then leave you to entice me with the next chapter.

Cecilia is probably you best canon character in this story. She's well bred, haughty and has the highest opinon of herself. She fits the persona of a riddle wife too well. She just seems to be so...unobservant. It's taken her this long to realise that Tom is in love with another woman and that she's lost him goodness.

Tom, is probably the most two faced. When he rode by with Cecilia and started talking about the Gaunts infront of their home you would never have guessed that he had any kindnessin him but the way Merope describes him ( even though she is totally and absolutely infatatuated with him) as kind, passive, friendly.

I almost thought the story was moving too fast and I just wanted several paragraphs of just fluff. and then *POOF* I got it! lol. I love Tom reminiscing. He just seemed so pure of heart and perfect.

As for spelling and grammar it was as usual-perfect. And anyway, just post another thread on my review thingy and I'll be happpy to review the next chapter

Author's Response: Hey Chilly! Thanks for saying that about Cecilia. I'm not sure if she was supposed to be this way in canon (she got pretty much 1 line to say in the entire series) but this is how I imagine she would be. The typical snobby rich girl, but I hope you can see that she really loves and cares for Tom and it's killing her that he doesn't return her feelings.

You've hit the nail on the head ... Merope's a little biased when it comes to Tom. ;) He's not a bad guy in my story, but he can be snotty and condescending and a little full of himself. He also has control issues lol, which you will see more and more of.

Thanks so much for your review!

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Review #14, by OneOfTheWeasleys 

4th April 2008:
OH MY GOODNESS! This chapter was amazing and I feel more than honored to have been one of the author's you dedicated it to. I don't know where to begin, I have so many comments I want to make on how spectacular reading this was.

I hated Cecilia from the start but after this chapter, she deserves it. The way she talked to Merope in the beginning made me wish that Merope would just give her a good smack across the face. But Merope is a lady now :D

And they way you wrote the dialouge, can I say that you are ane amazing author. I felt like I was reading an old English book that was on a top one-hundred list of must read literature. You are truly gifted! From your descriptions to how each character acts. JK Rowling owns and created them, but you took them to a level that only JKR herself could do.

Not to mention the ending, I litterally was on the edge of my seat reading it! It was amazing and spectacular. The way Merope changed from a shy, peculiar little girl into a daring and almost greedy woman gave me goosebumps. This has been the best chapter so far!

Fantastic job my dear, you are by far one of the best authors on this website! I'm inspired by you! :D

Lots of Love,

Author's Response: Thanks my dear! :) I was glad to have the opportunity to make a mass dedication. There are so many fabulous authors I look up to here!

Haha I know, Cecilia really is a big snob. Granted most people of that class did look down on poorer people and just make assumptions about them. I sort of wish Merope would have been a little meaner but it would've been out of her character. :D

Wow thank you so much!! You're so kind :D I'm getting spoiled by all of the wonderful comments! I'm really pleased that Merope's character development is working for you. While she's been pushed around and treated horribly, that part of her life is over now - she's ready to move on and finally snatch a chance for happiness (or the closest thing she can have to it).

I love your reviews! So, SO glad you're enjoying the story still hun :)

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Review #15, by Renfair 

1st April 2008:
HEY! Now that the silly site is back to normal, I can catch up with Merope and company! Wow, this was a really great chapter because there were a lot of characters with a lot of different emotions and you managed to keep them all separate and believable. I can honestly say that this is probably one of the most original and truly non-fan-like story on this site. The main characters and the town *are* borrowed from Harry Potter, but you can tell that you have drawn much more from period literature and ideas, which makes the story fresh and believable.

I particularly liked this line, "A woman always knows when a man looks into her eyes and is thinking of someone else," and I still think the idea of the locket talking to Merope is hella awesome! In a way I'm kind of glad that I fell out of touch with the story for a little while cause now I have another chapter to go read :) I would have been mad mad mad if I had to wait with that cliffhanger. Off to go see what happens now...should get pretty hot and heavy!

Author's Response: Yay Renny! So glad you're here, but you should be over at EHPF answering all of your fan mail about Avrille! ;)

Thank you very much! I've tried to make it as original as possible. I was even thinking the other day that with brand-new characters, a brand-new town, and different elements to the plotline, this could be a totally non HP related work! So that's kind of fun.

Thanks! I like the locket being sinister and communicative too. There were a lot of people asking me if that was canon (the locket being able to talk) so I went back and made sure that it was my original idea and not JKR's! So I'm glad to say that it wasn't stolen from her or anything. :)

Thanks a million babe! I love your reviews!

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Review #16, by Echo95 

25th March 2008:
NO! I didn't want him to drink the potion! He loved her anyway! jeez, she should have listened to Bethe!

Author's Response: Haha sorry! :) Just a clarification - Tom did NOT love Merope before taking the potion. In order to make him think that he loved her, the potion was necessary. Thanks for your review.

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Review #17, by greylady_Ravenclaw 

24th March 2008:
Wow, this was really long. I was afraid I was going to get distracted, but I didn't. This story holds people's attentions well. I feel sorry for Cecilia because Tom is slowly distancing himself from her, but he is drifting toward Merope, so its okay.

Cecilia is so jealous, its funny. I can't wait to see if the gossips say anything about her buying a love potion. Just imagine who all would find out. xD

Bethe is such a good friend. She doesn't want anything bad to happen to Merope, but she just won't listen. Its sad because we all know how this ends except for Merope. Even Bethe has a feeling that it is going to end badly.

He drank it! Finally, Merope is going to get her wish. Tom is going to be hers. Great Job! 10/10

Author's Response: I know, I'm sorry it was so long! I considered splitting it into two shorter chapters but then I was like, whatever and just threw it all out there. I think it's kind of ironic because this 7000+ word chapter took me the shortest amount of time to write. The editing took forever though :)

I haven't forgotten the gossips! They're going to come back into the story several times since they play a big role in the whole "scandal" that plays out and what happens afterward. :)

I feel bad for Bethe too - I guess she wanted Merope to be happy, which is why she made the love potion, but she just can't forgive herself because she has a feeling that it's done Merope more harm than good. And she's right, too.

Yes he drank it! :) Finally!

Thanks for another lovely review :D

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Review #18, by marauder_lover 

24th March 2008:
=o Wow! That was amazing! I really loved it, I love how they are so close but Merope choses to use the potion anyway! Ahh! This was really well written, and really just awesome.You really do have this time period down, it just fits.

Ok, i would leave a longer review, but I want to know what happens so :P Be back in a minute!

Author's Response: You made it through a huge long chapter, good for you!! :D I'm glad you liked it! Yes, Merope is digging her own grave, isn't she? Maybe if she had been a little patient and just gone on with the friendship, things may have happened (although that's not a guarantee; I believe that Tom would have eventually talked himself into marrying Cecilia and forgetting Merope, who is beneath him). But the combination of Bethe's prophecy and Merope's desperation for love is setting things in motion.

Thanks again! So glad you're enjoying this :)

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Review #19, by Gryffindor Witch 

20th March 2008:
Oh poor Rose! Will she ever have the man she loves? And Cecilia, her heart is breaking. Did tom ever love her? I love this story!10/10

Author's Response: God I know ... now it's not Merope and Cecilia over Tom, it's Rose and Cecilia over John! There simply aren't enough men to go around in this town. :P I think yes, Tom did love Cecilia in his way but it was more of like a kind and fond love for someone he's grown up with and has been expected to marry for a long time. There wasn't much passion in it, plus she never played very hard to get or offered him much of a challenge so I feel that he got kind of bored near the end. Poor Cecilia never stood a chance against Merope who offered him something new and different and mysterious.

Thanks for your reviews hun! :)

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Review #20, by AnnaKay 

19th March 2008:
It seems to me that Merope is willing to do whatever it takes to have Tom. I wonder if she is being too selfish, but then I remember what she went throught and think that maybe she has a right to feel this way, even if it is not right.

Bethe has to be feeling bad for Merope's addiction to Tom though. It seems that she really started it all, and she is helping out with the potion and all of that jazz.

Author's Response: You're definitely right, Merope is extremely selfish because the love potion is for her own benefit and no one else's. She has her reasons for wanting even fake love, but she doesn't take the time to think things through and imagine what might happen to him or even to herself, or the people who care about them. I wanted her to be a very dreamy, idealistic teenage girl who doesn't really have a strong grip on reality.

Once again you've hit the mark! I'll go into further depth on Bethe's feelings within the next few chapters. :) Thanks for another nice review!

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Review #21, by chiQs09 

7th March 2008:
Hi! Wow, finally weekend! Now I finally have all the time in the world to review your wonderful chapter... Here we go...

Wooah... Now I remember again WHY I added you to my favourite authors list! I really love your description and your amazing writing style, I envy you... *sighs*

"I have little faith in them. There are herbs rumored to grant the power of love, but if there is one thing I know on this green earth, it is that love cannot be purchased in a bottle. Infatuation, yes. Obsession, yes; lust, yes. But binding another to yourself in such a way is only deception. True love is impossible to drink." - I don't know why, but I LOVE this paragraph. :D

"Please come so that we might finalize the wedding plans. I would also be honored to have you both attend my little dinner party on Saturday evening," (...) - Had this been written on a note? Why did you put it in quotation marks as if someone had said it? It's a bit confusing...

Hmm... if only Rose hadn't joked about the love potion, then Cecilia wouldn't even have thought about that 'evil' idea of 'poisoning' Tom with 'false love'. Maybe it was some sort of 'unconscious act' because she noticed Cecilia's mourning and her fear of maybe losing Tom's affection.
I like the scene in the apothecary when they saw Tom and Merope talking in front of the bookstore. And Tom lying straight to his fiancées' face! hehe His financée is really insecure...
A woman always knows when a man looks into her eyes and is thinking of someone else. - I LOVE this line!!!

I like the way you wrote this chapter. We can see and feel through each main character's perpective. I like Merope's POV the most... And here again happened that one fatal thing: This time Bethe 'mentioned' the love potion, passing Rose and Cecilia's idea to Merope, which is to 'poison' Tom with 'false love'. Poor guy! Everyone loves him! Everyone WANTS him!! I have a feeling that Merope is just going to ruin everything Tom and her already built up, which is the friendship and the affections they share. Tom obviously lkies (or loves?) her, but she doesn't seem to notice; she only thinks he's just being friendly to her...
What will happen if Cecilia gives him that rejuvenating tonic even though he already drank the love potion from Merope? Poor, poor guy, pumped up with 'drugs'. Hehe

Author's Response: Hi sweetie! HAHA I love this review, it made me laugh so much. :) And look how long and enthusiastic it is! Thank you so much for the compliment, I'm really envious of YOUR writing style so I guess we're even! :D

Yep that was a note sent from Mrs. Riddle to Rose and Cecilia. Sorry it was confusing! I didn't want to make a huge page break and italicize everything because it was such a short little message, but I might go back and do that if it's kind of confusing. :)

Actually Cecilia was buying that love potion for Rose to use on John; knowing how Rose felt about him, she was trying to help. The love potion wasn't for Tom at all, but Bethe mistakenly assumed that it was.

Yeah poor Cecilia is really insecure, but for a good reason! Now she knows how Merope felt at the beginning of the story...

Glad you liked the changing POVs. And exactly, Bethe was totally giving the idea to Merope by accident. HAHAHA I laughed so hard at this: "Poor guy! Everyone loves him! Everyone WANTS him!!" It's so true.

Thanks for this amazing review hun, it was so enjoyable to read and I'm super glad that you liked the chapter! Yay :)

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Review #22, by Gords7015 

3rd March 2008:
Ahhh, and so it really begins. I have to say that I wish she hadn't used the potion. It makes it that more tragic that Tom was already falling for her. Of course, she couldn't know that, but still...

In any event, a couple of things. First off, you have very few grammer issues that I can spot. You either are good at that sort of thing or have a good beta. Secondly, you have a nice manner of shifting perspectives from one character to another. I think that you've made this story your own, and it does reflect quite well upon the author. Please keep it up, and know that you'll go far in the literary world if you choose to continue! -Gords7015

Author's Response: I know, I know ... it's a tragic story that may have ended differently, who knows? Life is like that - make a choice and it's permanent, and so are the repercussions. If everyone had a Time Turner things would be much easier, but we wouldn't appreciate living life as much because everyone would have it good.

I do not use a beta, actually; I've just been a stickler for grammar and spelling since I was young. :) Glad you liked the shifting perspectives! I love writing stories in that fashion; sticking to one character only can get monotonous and it's nice to see what is happening to everyone else that's been introduced.

Gords, I appreciate your reviews so very much; I never dreamed you would be leaving me so many, and all of them in-depth and insightful! It means a lot to me that you've enjoyed the story and taken valuable time out to give me feedback. Thank you very, very much. :)

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Review #23, by birdie01 

2nd March 2008:
Okay so at the beginning of this story everything was absolutely wonderful. I do not normally read this type of story but I found it very interesting. Your vocabulary was great and your amount of detail was as well. But around chapter three I found that the pace of the story slowed down immensely so you may want to check that out. But hey, that's only one persons opinion. But around chapter five the story picked back up and once again it was engaging and highly interesting.

Overall I think that this story has amazing potential and the plot seems fantastic. haha. I hope that you aren't affended at all. I would really hate to hurt your feelings. So...great job and keep up the amazing work.

Author's Response: Oh no way, I'm not offended at all! :) I ask for reviews because I want people's honest opinions ... if I wanted people to just tell me they liked my story and say nice things only, well... I have all of my friends and family for that. :P

I think I agree with you that I slowed down plot-wise, although in a way I rushed too (most reviewers say that I rushed) so I guess it's some strange combination of both but the pace is definitely off. I'll look over it again for sure. :) Thanks so much birdie, I really appreciate your opinion and I'm glad you thought the story has potential!

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Review #24, by luvdraco87 

29th February 2008:
Cool, I really liked this chap.
Great Chap,

Author's Response: Thanks again Constance. Glad you liked the story :)

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Review #25, by severus_lover 

29th February 2008:
Whee updates =] I've been so busy that i forget to keep a tab on this one.

I loved that you started out with a glimpse into Cecilia's mind and her thoughts and we certainly got a glimpse of her haughty side in her encounter with Merope. I felt her doubt and suspicions ^_^ I loved it and Rose's subtle jealousy eh could that possibly come into play. I loved the way you incorporated the love potion! That was brilliantly done and better than if Merope just woken up one day and said ' You know what, I think I'll give Tom...a love potion *evil cackle*' lol, nicely done ;) I liked this line:

"I am glad!" cried Merope. "Let her suspect! Let her break off the engagement and set him free, for that is all he longs for!"

For some reason. Maybe the fire in her words ^_^ and this part was especially beautiful:

For she understood that there is no going back when autumn becomes winter. There is no return to the sky for the rain that falls, no restoration of the breath that leaves the body. Such is the nature of love that a choice once made cannot easily be undone, and Merope had chosen.

Everyone laughed politely, in the manner of people humoring a wayward child or an intoxicated person. In John's case it was the latter

This made me laugh, need I say more? :P. I just simply adore your writing style and language. The flow and dialogue. Perfect. I like how Tom is slowly drawn to Merope and he finally drinks the love potion, yay! I cant wait till the next chappie. 10/10 as aways


Author's Response: Hi Kay!! :) Don't worry about it, I'm glad that you came back for more!

Cecilia is definitely suspecting something, and she doesn't like it one bit! Good catch on Rose's jealousy - not many people have mentioned that, but it should be clear that she's a little resentful toward her sister however much they love each other. It's not easy for her to have a beautiful sister that everyone falls in love with, for sure.

I'm happy that you liked the way I brought in the love potion! :) I also don't think that it was a snap decision for her, like "Hmm I have a crush on this guy, let's make a love potion and force it down his throat" ... it took time and deliberation, and she had to have been encouraged somewhat by the way he acted towards her. :D

Hahaha poor John ... number one, the potion that Bethe gave Cecilia was not a love potion, and number two, it wasn't supposed to be all dumped into his glass. lol Rose got a little carried away there.

Thanks so much for the great review Kay! I'm excited that you still like it!

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