7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Sue Clover 

29th December 2014:
You know, I like your format. At first it was a bit weird, because I don't normally record dialogue in journal entries, but I'm used to reading stories with dialogue in them and it reads like a story, so even though it's supposed to be all written things I feel like I'm actually there.

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Review #2, by knicoles 

26th July 2013:
I like that she's becoming closer to the band mates and the description of how she and Basil just click musically. I like seeing that Basil and Augustus are hovering around not only to help but protect her.

I like the scenes between Remus and Kerri where confidences are given but it's clear that both are naturally wanting to fight becoming closer as such, that they're reserved still.

"Adams raised his eyebrows. It hit me that aggressive outbursts might not be the best way to convince him that I wasn’t a werewolf. I forced myself to calm down and tried to remember how Severus handles himself when he gets angry. Calm….cold….silkily vicious."
This paragraph stood out to me, b/c I was quite the hot headed person growing up. I've calmed down since, but this is what I'd like to become. I like how it struck her while in the moment that she was detracting from her own argument...and that she had to be more like her brother...more cunning.

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Review #3, by funkynat 

26th November 2009:
lovely last chapters. Loved the confrontation with the security agent and would enjoy to see lockhart pay for his arrogance.

Author's Response: Remus does have words with Lockhart at the very end.

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Review #4, by Shellee 

21st May 2008:
Furking hell. Dementors, urgh, must be horrible. I'm glad that their concert went well, though. Seems like she really loves playing and singing. Those three little girls just seemed the cutest. I have a little inkling that Remus is doing a slightly bit more than just protect her and keep an eye on her. Fenrir gives me the shudders, I'd wish he'd die. Good thing they had their patronuses to try and keep some of them safe. They did a very good job, and then they healed as much as they could, they're dolls!
Urgh, urgh, urgh! It's horrible how werewolves are treated. I get that people like Fenrir need to be watched out for, but sweet little fluffy wolves like Remus don't need to be looked after! He's like a cuddlebear or something. Urgh and then Lockhart, what a furking turd. The furking dunderhead alright! Oh, I do hope he gets what he's got coming to him.

Author's Response: Does anyone like Fenrir? Not that I know of. Mostly he's just a pain in this story, but I have lots of plans for his development in the sequel.

Lockhart is a total jerk. I'm going to have fun with him later on too.

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Review #5, by Bella_Portia 

14th March 2008:
I don't know where to start with this.
First, the letters were outstanding, as always. The letter to Severus, in which Kerri/you describe the discoveries of TR, was the first story in which I remember someone trying to reconstruct Tom's intellectual prowess. It was marvelously inventive and seemed to have taken a lot of thought. The "I make my K just like him" was an incongruously homey touch, very clever.

I really liked the letter to Charlie, as well. It broke up the Journal as a device for narrating the events of her workday and interaction with Remus, while also adding a level of intimacy (since she was communicating to her friend).

And the letter to Hagrid! The very accurate observation about her brother's teaching style that she would would not say to him directly (although Severus surely needs to hear it; you describe his presence as a teacher with perfect accuracy). The little bit about the bowtruckles and the grindylow gave a vivid little picture of the hazards of the forbidden forest.

Getting on to the Journal:
Your description of fear, when the dementors were about to make their appearance, was beautiful. So was the wringing of the neck (I took that to be the move) of the dementor, with the accompanying description of the return of warmth and everything -- just a great sequence, very frightening.

The story about the horse was a bit out in left field -- I never would have associated that patronus with that character -- but I liked it. (I'm guessing that the author, like Lupin, is a horse lover. As an aside: I have always wondered why no horse patronus ever appears in canon.)

The sequence in the library, where you describe the conversation about werewolf legislation, is very well thought out, detailed and impressive.
I also liked the scene with Adams.
Wonderful job with a very ambitious chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you so much. You're going to give me a very big head with all these glowing reviews.

Okay, the letter to Snape. Part of the motive in playing up Voldemort's intelligence is to play up Kerri's as well. She takes after him a great deal, whether she wants to admit it or not. Also, those documents have a double purpose in this story. They are very significant later, as is her particular discovery that there are similarities between her handwriting and Voldemort's. That's the part I'm currently writing, and it leads to Kerri and Snape having a huge fight over conflicting theories about what's going on with Quirrel. That was a fun scene to write. They're really horrible when they start going for each other's throats, but funny at the same time.

I'm glad that the letters to and from Charlie don't seem like filler to you. One person has suggested that to me.

I worked very hard on the dementor part. I wanted the fear that the characters feel to really translate over to the reader. I've gotten a few complements on it so I must have achieved my purpose.

Remus's patronus. For the most part, the patronuses that I choose have characteristics traditionally associated with them that also fit the characters they belong to. From a book I have on folklore, the horse is associated with, power, freedom, stamina, friendship, and faithfulness. These are traits that I thought fit Remus as well.

Remus is faithful, a good friend, and very strong willed. For the 'powerful' part, I've always felt that he was powerful as a wizard, if not up to Dumbledore's standard. (But who is?). As for the 'freedom' part, poor Remus has been fettered by his illness all his life, both by the government and by society. Nevertheless, he's free from bitterness, anger, and fear; so I felt that the trait of freedom fit him as well.

So actually, I'm not a horse lover myself, although I am an animal lover in general. If I was able to portray the love of horses that strongly in Remus, then I must have done a very good job of doing it realistically. Honestly, I don't know much about horses at all.

The library -- campus security sequence was originally a separate chapter. I tacked it on when the dementor chapter was rejected on the grounds that more than 1/3 of the chapter consisted of letters, which is against the rules. Consequently, I usually feel like I ought to apologize for the length of the resulting combined chapter. I'm glad that you liked it enough that it didn't bore you.

Again, thank you so much !

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Review #6, by morgana67 

25th February 2008:
Very action packed chapter and all that unfairness, goodness. It seems that the Ministry in your story is as bad as in mine (and I have Umbridge as Minister!).

I remember your thread about chapter lengths and ok, this is a fairly long one but I'm beginning to have the same problem myself. Maybe you could split it in two, with a cliffhanger at the concert but maybe that is just a matter of personal opinion.

Lockhart, well, I could strangle him! I hope he gets his comeuppance or are you going to follow canon and let Harry erase his memory?

Nearly there and I look forward to your next chapter which I believe is in the queue too.

Author's Response: This one is the one that's long because I had to combine two chapters because of the 1/3 - 2/3 rule on letters and narrations. I hated to have to do it, but...

Well, Lockhart will go to Hogwarts just like in canon, but there is a reason why he left town and went there in the first place. He'll sort of be ordered to leave or else, some time around early May. Actually, I'm probably going to be writing that chapter within the week. It's also the chapter where I finally put Kerri and Remus together so I'm really looking forward to it.

And yes -- the next chapter is waiting for validation. Which reminds me, I should go check and see if it's been rejected. I'm absolutely paranoid about rejections with this story because of the number I've had.

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Review #7, by Bella 15 

3rd February 2008:
sorry i havent written any reveiws on any of the other chapters. i really really like this story and am going to add it to my favorites. you know you should really have her tell remus that her father is tom riddle. but if u dont want anybody to find out you can have her like do it in code or something. i dont know anywyas keep writting

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I'm glad to know that you're enjoying my story.

Eventually she will tell Remus, but I don't plan for him to know until the next year. After Hagrid gets arrested during the Chamber of Secrets mess, she's really going to start to fall apart because she thinks of him as a father figure. In that time of vunerability, that's when I plan to have her break down and tell Remus.

Don't worry, I'll keep writing -- thanks so much for your encouragment.

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