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13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Georgia Weasley 

27th February 2009:
You have Petunia written so on spot. She is so snotty, but a little jealousy and curiosity overrule her superior attitude every time. Snape's background with her is very interesting. It leaves you to wonder if he really was trying to get close to Lily again, or if he honestly liked Tuney's company. I'm betting on the former, rather than the latter. The little details you add, like the argument with the ticket inspector and Petunia's dishwashing, make this story so good. Well done!

Author's Response: Thanks so much, Shanon. I'm glad you liked Petunia in this chapter. I think I got some funny idea before DH from something that JKR said that there was more to her than meets the eye, but I guess she was referring to them living in the same location or that she thought of something in those lines but decided to live it alone after all. I see her just like that snotty but very curious and fairly jealous of just about anyone. I would say that yes, probably Snape just wanted to get closer to Lily. I could imagine Petunia as a pretty lonely teenager also. She would have friends at school, no doubt, but maybe not very close ones.

I thought the ticket scene would add a little humour and gave me the opportunity to get the Apparition test out of the way, somehow.

I'm so pleased you are enjoying my story! x


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Review #2, by celticbard 

17th January 2009:
Hi morgana!
I'm here to review your fic as requested. ^_^ This was a great Hermione-centric chapter. You did a fantastic job showing the inner-workings of her curious and deductive mind. I do think she would make a great investigative journalist or maybe some kind of wizard P.I.

Mrs. Dursley was another great addition to this installment. You revealed bits of her childhood at a slow, tantalizing pace-I had no trouble sensing her reluctance. So Snape and she went out several times? Wow! I wonder how Mr. Durlsey would react to such news ;)

And yay for Harry and Ron! They passed their apparation tests. I remember taking my driver's exam-it was horrid!

I noticed a few minor errors in this chapter. They are as follows.

After all we have done for him, all these years, and look how is treating us!
This should be, how he is treating us

"Your lot seems to think he's some kind of hero, but I'll tell you what, he is a complete coward and an ungrateful nephew is there ever was one," Petunia stated dryly.
This should be, if there ever was one

"I have started to take lessons but haven't got a licence yet.
Typo! ^_^ This should be, license

"Very well, the Royal Victoria then, I'll take me over an hour to get there.
This should be, it'll take me

She took out a notebook and begun to scribble a few key words.
This should be, and began

Petunia looked extremely uncomfortable and kept playing with a bunch of keys that she still have in her hands.
This should be, that she still had

"Very well, he lived no far from us, although in a very different part of town, if you get my point. His family were odd, to say the least.
This should be, he lived not far

"Something went wrong between them about two years of so before she finished school.
This should be, two years or so

Hermione frown at this comment, as if she wasn't following.
This should be, frowned

Well, how would you feel if someone you knew when you were little turned up in the news or something, having became a terrorist
This should be, having become

She wanted the Mrs. Dursley to come to her own conclusion.
This should be, wanted Mrs. Dursley

Mr. Granger frown feeling confused and was about to offer to pay their fare until it down on him also that, no, they could not have come from any train.
This should be, Mr. Granger frowned, feeling confused and was about to offer to pay their fare until it dawned on him

Once in the car, Ron and Harry announced, with a great sense of elation, that they have both just passed the dreaded Apparition test, that very day.
This should be, that they had

The second piece of news, Hermione heard from their friends was that Tonks are Remus were about to be married.
This should be, Tonks and Remus

After a long conversation, in which Harry kept on apologising for Hermione having troubled Mr. Granger with his problems, it agreed that buying an apartment might be a solution.
This should be, it was agreed

She know stared at Harry as if asking him to continue.
This should be, She now

Please feel free to request again if you'd like another review, morgana. Have a great weekend!

Best,
celticbard

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Review #3, by SpringTime 

15th November 2008:
good chapter and Petunia's reactions are more in character. I am so excited by this Gringots break in, cant wait to see how you pull it off.

There are a couple of typo's that you might want to go back and re edit.

It's too bad that Harry wasnt able to see the double crossing Percy in his vision (though of course that would make it to easy).

Funny how they are also going to the room of requirement, will they find the diadem?

Author's Response: I'm so pleased that you found Petunia more in character here.

Gringott's well, it will not be an easy task. I did guess that this would be important in DH but only because I saw the cover of the children's British edition just before I started this story, so I was sort of an educated guess, although the reason for the breaking is different here. Harry is primarily trying to recover Lily's wand.

Harry, as you now know, will finally see that it was Percy but he has to force himself to see this and he does pay a price for that.

Now, the diadem is not one of the Horcruxes here but well, yes, there is some clue in the Room of Requirement but it points towards a different object.


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Review #4, by Shellee 

20th April 2008:
Pfft, Petunia should be a bit more grateful towards them. I think she should be a bit more understanding too. How much problems doesn't Harry have lately and things to think about. I'm glad she decided to meet up with Hermione. After all, she should know that magic could do some things, why would she be scared to be overheard? Ah well. There isn't much that Petunia has said that we don't know yet, really.
Lovely that they passed for their Apparation test! I thought that instantly, to be honest. I'm very glad they all had fun. Tonks and Lupin getting married, whoopie! Harry shouldn't get mad really, he knows Hermione and he judges too quickly, I think. Ah, they seem to get busy by now, hmm? Break in at Gringotts, go to Hogwarts, .. I get now, that the appartment they will be in later on and that Harry is buying is probably where they will stay through their 7th year? Lovely!
To the next one!

Author's Response: Petunia can be a funny character. I have actually come across people a bit like her in real life. She sees herself as always right and forever as the victim. Ok, Harry is being a bit paranoid but yes, he's juggling too many conundrums at once.

She doesn't fear being overheard because of danger but because of what her acquaintances may think if they realise that she is talking, not even to a witch, but to a friend of her suposedly criminally incurable nephew and so forth. It's all about reputation and keeping up appearances. Now, she does add something in terms of how much she knew Snape and what she said Snape told her when she was kidnapped kind of proves that Snape is still on the Order's side.

Ha, ha, you have seen the apartement's picture now. Ok, it's a quite striking building but London is a big place so you probably haven't come across it in real life. It's actually in the South Bank of the Thames. Yes, that will be their main base. Ok, Molly is not going to allow Ginny to join them properly since she is still underage, but she may very well find a way anyhow. There will be more shouting from Molly, that's for sure!

Thanks so much again!


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Review #5, by Gords7015 

24th March 2008:
Another good chapter. I believe that Hermoine is portrayed very well here, and it was a good transitional chapter. I feel like you've spread out the story quite a bit, and have a lot of transition, but the action is really excellent when you have those scenes, so I can't wait for more of those!

Good chapter

Author's Response: I know, I'm taking my time here. The next batte type scene will be called "Dungeons and Dragons" for obvious reasons. I love psycholoy and that's why this is kind of slow but there will be action. Actually, I drafted my ending before DH and I believe it's more upsetting... I hope you stick with me so long because I'm nowhere near there yet!

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Review #6, by AnnaKay 

18th March 2008:
Good chapter. It was a really good conversation that Hermione had with Harry's Aunt. Thank goodness Petunia was willing to listen and also talk. It seems to me that Harry is going to have to get over his problems with his Aunt and his fears and trust her. I still believe that the flat is a very good idea. It just seems like it could be helpful.

I have one question, where did Ginny come from. You never explained how she got there, she just evenutally showed up? It is just a little bit confusing.

Author's Response: Ok, starting with Ginny showing, up. Well, Mr. Granger told Hermione to invite Harry, "her boyfriend" and Harry's girl, so the three of them arrived at the station. Ok, the boys had apparated, so she side-Apparated with one of them. Maybe I should put an extra sentence there to explain it a bit better. Well spotted!

Petunia and Harry, yes, Harry's stubborness is going to have to give way sooner or later. The basic message here is perhaps he need for unity. The fact that someone has been mean to you (Draco or Petunia) doesn't mean that they're intrinsically evil. Wonderful observation on your part.



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Review #7, by Aurora Dawn 

7th March 2008:
Hello again,

You have really improved your characterization of Petunia since the last time I saw her in this story. She's more reluctant to help, sharper tongued, more paranoid, and sarcastic. She sounds a lot like Rowling's Petunia.

Author's Response: Well, now I'm flattered! If you continue giving me this reviews my head is going to swell *laughs*. No, honestly, I'm glad you think I have Petunia right in this chapter. For some reason, I could picture her in my head in the shopping mall with Hermione. Well, you have almost caught up now. I look forward to more of your story too. x

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Review #8, by JLHufflepuff 

23rd February 2008:
I liked the way you switched point of view between Hermione and Petunia during their conversation. I think it worked well and that they were both very in character. It's understandable why Petunia would be reluctant to talk about having been friendly (and sort of dated) Snape. Now I'm getting nervous about the Gringott's break in as well as poor Remus, especially since I'm remember some questions over at the forums... *pouts* poor Remy.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review. I'm very pleased you enjoyed the conversation. Now the difficulty will be persuading Harry that Snape may not be a foe after all.

Gringotts, well, I think they are going to have to get the apartment first because once they break in they are going to have to hide somehow. Remus, well, I think you already know that he is not going to have a very good time. I like him a lot too, actually.


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Review #9, by kara101 

26th January 2008:
This is Hermione G from the forum review thread, as I said I would a while ago. Alright so sorry it took me long. I have really fallen behind on my thread. This was a really long chapter. Really long. It was also very imortant, we got alot of juice on Petunia. I think to perhaps make it a little less boring I would stop after the conversation ends. Then put the rest of that in the next chapter. Information like that needed to be said so there is nothing really you can do to change that. Well, not much to say on this. I still love the story. Update soon and same as always let me know when you update.

Kara

Author's Response: Thanks so much again. Yes, this chapter perhpas went on a bit too long. I just got so carried away with Hermione and Petunia. I'll think about your suggestion too.

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Review #10, by Bella_Portia 

24th January 2008:
The first section, consisting of the two conversations (telephone and in person) between Hermione and Petunia, were excellent. I was fascinated to see how the revelations would come out. And, as I mentioned in PM, I thought the dialogue was very true.

The one thing that occurred to me on a rereading was that -- when Petunia was confronted with having "gone out" with Snape, I would have liked more elaboration as to why she took such offense. I mean, was she angry because Hermione had become privy to such personal information, or was there some other reason for her reaction. If her reaction was, "Vernon can't ever know that!" (because she fears it would have devalued her so horribly in his eyes if he thought she had gone so far as to date one of "those" people), it would be interesting to read more of her inner processes.

But overall, I liked this part very much.

On the visit with Harry, Ron and Ginny, I was a bit surprised, as I expected that this would be the debriefing about the Petunia conversation. It kind of went off on an unexpected direction. In truth, I would like to have had the door closed on Petunia and her revelations a little more (by having Hermione discuss it with Harry et al.) before going on. So my reaction to the final section is that it did seem a bit more transitional than I expected.

I really liked the idea about the werewolf legislation. Very logical and consistent with both canon and Umbridge's character. Poor Remus!

Author's Response: As I already said, I'm so, so glad you like the first part of this chapter! Now, Petunia, you are righth on all three levels! yes, she fancied him, yes mainly she fancied him because her witch and popular sister could have him any time and, yes, she is frightened of Vernon, physically and monetarily. She only went out with Snape (if you can call that going out) because he wanted Lily. Now, Vernon was never the love of her life either (surprise, surprise!) but he was steady and reasonably wealthy, best she could do with a low self-steem (well, me never but that's me!). Yes, I try to convey that Petunia is scare of Vernon. She has already tried to befriend Harry a bit, even if she is a snob quiet truly. Now, he doesn't wan't Sevvy killed. She will help and Vernon will leave her and good riddance! Snape survives my story but leaves very much in solitary confinment. He will meet a soul mate who has done the same but when I proposed the idea, (for a sequel) every one jump at mty jugular, so, we shall see...

By the way thank you about the tip about the movie. When I tried to reply it said the codes were wrong or something. I'm actually having this idea of saving up, a fund or something for seeing the premier of the last movie here in England. We may meet JKR come'on! (I will donate what I can, I'd just love it, with us from the forums, and to meet, can put people up in my house, 2 hrs train from London, if it is summer more than 10 with sleeping bags, what do yous say? Sorry to be daft but I've got so much comfort from the forums that it's only fair that I give something back. Ok, I'm not JKR so I can buy plane fares for all etc (as much as I would like too) but, I mean we still have time to try and save for something for our hobbie. Obviously, I know you well, so you can stay in my house no worries! Fancy that?


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Review #11, by Labby 

21st January 2008:
Another great chapter! It's so nice reading an alternative version of the story after the book has already been published. It's interesting how you chose to keep some things in canon and some things not in canon. I like it.

I liked the first part a lot, with Hermione and Petunia. I did like that you kept the Snape/Lily living near each other in it. I thought that part worked well and you made it really interesting. I really like how Hermione went to talk to Petunia to find out everything. I thought Petunia should have had a bigger role in DHs.

Yay, Remus and Tonks are getting married! I think their relationship is one of the most adorable things. That stinks about the werewolf hunting, but it definitely makes sense.

I'm really interested to read about the breaking in to Gringotts scene. I remember you posting about that because at that time I was interested in how to fight out dragons too. I'm definitely curious to see what you actually do with it. I can't wait to read it.

Great job with this chapter and I'm definitely looking forward to reading more!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your lovely review and for following this. Yes, obviously some people enjoy reading alternatives to DH. I'm trying to keep things as I always intended, but there were points I hadn't declared myself for or against when DH came out and some of them I'm keeping canon, like Snape/Lily living nearby. Yes, I also wanted to see more of Petunia. I was also under the impression that JKR had said that she had her own secrets (I guess that would have been wanting to go to Hogwarts, though).

Yes, Remus and Tonks will be pretty canon here. People wanted Teddy, so she will have him but I cannot reveal whether the parents survive or not etc. Well, Remus better watch out for a while because I would not go trusting Umbridge!

Gringotts, well, that's my next nightmare. I have a slight idea that may help Harry but they have so much against them. I'm trying to make it realistic and I'm finding it really hard!

Thanks so much for all your support. x


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Review #12, by hanoverpretz01 

19th January 2008:
great chapter
nice twist

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it!

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Review #13, by Joanne K 

19th January 2008:
Oooh interesting chapter. You were definitely right about your prediction of Snape and Lily knowing each other growing up, that was one thing I never predicted (though I suspected that Snape was in love with Lily). I can't believe you had Snape and Petunia together! That definitely sheds an interesting light upon Petunia. Now I want to know more about what happened between them, and also between Lily and Snape (or is it the same as DH?). I hope we get to find out more.

Yay! Remus and Tonks getting married. And of course Umbridge would make a law about werewolves, that's just the kind of evil thing she would do. I loved the reference to the Potions book and its location - nice tie in.

I did notice a couple of minor spelling/typing errors and missing punctuation marks in this chapter, nothing a little proof-reading wouldn't fix though. I guess you were just anxious to get the chapter posted. ;)

I'm so glad I noticed this chapter was up. I can't wait for the next one. :)

Author's Response: Ah, first of all, I was so fed up with this having been writing this chapter for ages that I posted it without ever re-reading the last part! (the one at the station and at Hermione's house). I intended to amend it from my account there and then and then the front door bell rang. I didn't expect anyone to find the chapter that quickly. I have now edited this but I will re-read it again because, surely I will still find the odd error.

Now, I did predict that Snape had a thing for Lily but not that they knew each other as kids (I have taken this directly from DH). You know, it's so difficult to fill in the gaps after DH! I mean I sticking to my own deaths etc and what I thought about some of the Horcruxes (or even guessed) but the rest is just so hard, in terms of whether to stick to canon or depart from it. In a thread I started it seemed that people prefer if I sticked to canon on this one. As I have a lot of ground to cover still and I'm unsure as to whether the Snape/Petunia thing etc, I think I'll owl you and tell you what I had in mind.

Remus and Tonks have to get married and quick because in canon they do so sometime in the summer off stage, as if were. I'm now almost in September and I wanted Teddy to be born at the same time as in canon, so she has to be pregnant now. I may however, make her not know that she is yet, so as for it not to be the prime reason for the wedding. Now, Umbridge, yes, attacking Harry's wealth is not the only thing on her agenda! lol and yes, now they have two main urgent things to do, get the wand and get the book, plus buying the appartment and reinstating the DA, so they are in for a busy time.

I haven't even begun the next chapter, but, yes, I will let you know. At least, I'm now a trusted author so I don't have to queue which is good because I was thinking I was going to lose my readers out of posting not so frequently.

Hugs x and thanks so much


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