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15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Georgia Weasley 

3rd February 2009:
Oh, I really like your Percy Weasley. Or let me rephrase that, you've written him very well. I don't like him at all, but I do feel a little sorry for him. He's deluded and stupid, but he's now put himself in a very tight position. Nothing good can come from messing about with the Dark Lord. Whatever he promises can't be enough. And he won't follow through, anyway. The comment about Harry's weakness of the flesh, and Bellatrix's reaction was fantastic. Finally, Hermione taking a belt to get her courage up! The way you have the characters in canon, but maturing and growing, reacting to their new situations, is really good. Great one, Vic.

Author's Response: Oh, this has made my day. Percy well... there will be more developments and he is playing a dangerous game indeed.

Voldy hopes to be able to exploit the connection between Harry and Ginny (and he has possessed them both) which will strengthen when they actually become lovers physically but of course this is again a double edged sword for all concern because it will also mean that Ginny and Harry will be able to see into him. Bella yeah, I was convinced all the way that she really had a huge crush on Voldy (even when people thought I was mad). I leave it open as to whether it was ever consumated but not for her not wanting it.

Hermione well, she has decided that something has to be done and Harry is very stubborn so sometimes there is no point in passing things through him first.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it. x


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Review #2, by celticbard 

21st December 2008:
Hi morgana!
I'm here to review your fic as per your request. ^_^ This was another enjoyable chapter. I really loved Hermione's chat with her dad. In the books, Rowling seemed to mention her parents as little as possible, although I always thought it would be curious to see how a pair of muggles would deal with a teenaged witch for a daughter ;) Hermione's father seems like a sensible man timid, perhaps, but kind and thoughtful. He actually reminds me of my dad a lot, hehe.

And Percy...wow, what a shock! I mean, I knew he was a bit of a twit, more than a little rule-obsessed, but evil? Wow! Part of me really hopes that he is acting as a double agent for the Order or the Ministry. I guess I'm a sucker for neat, happy endings-I'd love to see him reconcile with his family. But I suppose his ambition got the better of him. Poor Mrs. Weasley-I can't imagine how heartbroken she'll be.

I only noticed a few mistakes in this chapter. They are as follows.


almost failing to note how near he must had been to him...
This should be, how near he must have been

Encircling it was a ditch so deep that could very well connect with the entrails of the Earth.
This should be, that it could (very nice line, btw!)

Within minutes, they arrived to what appeared to be the Great Hall.
This should be, they arrived in what

"Yes, my Lord, but...but, he said in a low voice, I'm not Secret Keeper. I cannot reveal that..."
This should be, "Yes, my Lord, but...but," he said in a low voice, "I'm not Secret Keeper. I cannot reveal that..."

trying to instil some fear into him
This should be, instill

"Ok, let's start with the weakest. Who would that be, young fellow?"
This is just my opinion, but I can't see Voldemort saying "ok" ^_^

although he wondered very much what her daughter's plans were
This should be, what his daughter's


Another good chapter, morgana. Feel free to drop by my queue and request again. Happy holidays!

Best,
celticbard

Author's Response: Thanks so much sweetheart. I'll go and fix the errors very soon but I have a friend with me at the moment, so I don't want to spend too much time online tonight.

I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. Yes, I always thought that I wanted to know more about Hermione's family. Percy, well, I will keep you guessing. In terms of happy endings, well some pretty bad things will happen at the end of this story although it's not all tragedy, there will definitely be hope for the future but the price that has to be paid is very high indeed!

Thanks so much. I just love your reviews and I'm very grateful for your beta-like work. x


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Review #3, by SpringTime 

15th November 2008:
I have never been much of a fan of Percy, and you have made me detest him even more. silly boy is going to get himself killed I am afraid.
Wonder what Hermione will find out from Petunia? Her conversation with her dad was a bit off, just the way that she was talking about Harry and his money, I am not sure how to fix it, but just changing some of the wording around might help a bit.
Sorry that this review isn't longer, but it is a good chapter and I didn't hav much to say. :)

Author's Response: Percy... well, there will be certain twists and you might have guessed something here but I can't tell you too much.

Now, the conversation between Hermione and her dad was something I wrote in part to show a bit more about her family life and in part because of Harry's flat. I tend to be a bit obsessed with legal accuracy and I realised that Harry is still one year underage in the Muggle world, so someone has to be brought into the equation for him to actually buy a property.

I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter overall though. Thanks so much, again.


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Review #4, by Shellee 

20th April 2008:
I was nearly in shock. Actually, I am slightly shocked, still, but before it was even worse. First, I thought that it was obvious that the Ministry was going about with Voldemort and I was about to go "Ha!" and slap Umbridge once more, until I read the words "Mr. Weasley." Shocker there, me thinking "What the hell is Arthur doing there?" but then I read on and saw it was Percy, took a deep relieved breath and frowned again. What is up with that boy? Such ambition, this isn't very good. I want to shake him up, Voldemort isn't the way to go! I wonder how Voldemort knows about Harry and Ginny, though. Having Percy go back to his family angers me, but as he himself said, it wouldn't be easy. I hope they figure him out before it's too late.
Hermione shouldn't blame herself like that. It wasn't her fault her mother died. I'm sure that her father understands that, otherwise he most probably wouldn't be too happy to see his daughter. I'm very happy that they can still talk rather normally. I still don't fully understand how Harry could go and buy something with all of his money. I'm not good with all those finance kind of business, I know how to pay my bills. =p Lovely that they came up with such a solution, I hope it works out well.
Next chapter, on the way.

Author's Response: Ah, I'm so pleased to hear that you fall for my trap! Ok, I left the identity unknown until almost the end to create a bit of mystery and then I decided to call him "Mr. Weasley" so that the first thoughts into the reader's mind would be that it was Arthur. That would have shocked me too. I'm now trying to work out who the encounter Molly/Percy will go and well...

Hermione is the responsible type so she is being a bit like Harry as in "everything is my fault" but she won't stay in that mood for ever, she is too sensible for that and more pragmatic.

Now, the flat; ok, the goblins gave Harry a credit card. How this theoretically works is that what he spends in the Muggle world gets deducted from his vault at Gringotts, since Umbridge has frozen this, the goblins have decided to send him an owl asking for the card back but have suggested "off the record" that he ignores this and carries on spending and when Umbridge does find out, the goblins will tell her that they have to take the money because they were out of pocket because of Harry's "unauthorised" use of the card. So in essence Harry is using his own money fraudulently. The main thing is to try to get as much as possible into the Muggle world before Umbridge finds out what he is doing because she has not jurisdiction in the Muggle world.

Ah, by the way, Umbridge will get her commeupance, I forgot to say earlier and in a really crude way! She should think more carefully about the species she is attacking.

Ah, bills! *laughs* If you are good at paying those you can pay mine as well! lol

Thanks so much again! x


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Review #5, by punk poet 

5th April 2008:
i reaaly like the percy angle, i think it's good that a doesn't seem loyal to umbridge.

Author's Response: Percy, well, I think it's safe to say that he has his own agenda. Wow, you have read and reviewed so much, you have almost caught up.

I'm very, very grateful for this!


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Review #6, by Gords7015 

24th March 2008:
This was another good chapter. I liked that I could see the grief that must have been overtaking Mr. Granger. I'm curious, as she was killed in the wizarding world, I think you ought to explain whatever cover story that must have existed for the muggle world. I mean, I could totally see the police suspecting foul play like in the Riddle case and suspecting Mr. Granger. These questions need to be answered! Otherwise, a really good chapter, and I just got this evil idea of Harry buying the Ministry and holding that property over the head of Umbridge!

Author's Response: Very well spotted because I was wondering myself but taking into consideration that victims of the AK look pretty normal I would put it down to heart failure. Will Granger knows the truth of course, as Hermione does. I thought I let Hermione show her grief now and again in bits and bobs because she is so logical and also so kind to others, obviously she is extremely sad and on occasion she breaks down a bit but it the main, she just carries on. I have actually met people in real life to react like this.

Now, no Harry is immensely weathy but he cannot do that. He's virtualy heading one faction and the Ministry is on the hands of the other one...

Thanks so much again, it means so much to me!


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Review #7, by AnnaKay 

18th March 2008:
Well thank goodness for connections I would say. Will is very smart to see that and try to help Harry out. I would say taht Hermione took a big step there because she was almost going behind Harrys back but doing it for his good. It is a good way to spend the money, getting the flat. If he agrees to it, it would be a good place to have "school". It would be out of the way, not very well know and just an overall good place.

I always thought that Percy was somebody that would do anything for power, including becoming a DE. I am worried about the wand though. Harry is going to have to figure something out about that, and quickly.

Author's Response: Well, Percy, yes... he's now Umbridge's Personal Assistant, so he has managed to rise quite a bit above what would be customary for someone his age. He's definitely ambitious. Lily's wand, yes, the matter is getting desperate, so I don't think it's too much of a spoiler to say that breaking into Gringotts is now inevitable.

Will Granger started very much as a side character but he is now really growing on me. Of course he is a typical Muggle middle-class person so he knows other people in liberal professions and such, yet he hasn't got the pretentions that the Dursleys have. He's in fact a lot more sensible. The flat will be truly breath taking and yes, Harry is going for this and again, anonymity is important.

Thanks so much again, nearly there!


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Review #8, by Aurora Dawn 

7th March 2008:
I left you a review last night and I see that it isn't here. I hate it when it does that. Hopefully I can remember everything I said.

I think it began with...I really like this chapter. The opening paragraphs are darkly magical, creative, and descriptive.

It's very cool how Percy is introduced. It has a shock value to it. Frighteningly, Percy is well characterized here, typically trying to win the favor of an authority figure at whatever the cost. Voldemort no doubt recognizes that and will make ample use of it.

Voldemort is well done here. He's such a sarcastic jerk, and that's exactly how he talks to his Death Eaters.

Very few typos and grammatical errors.

All in all, a very good job.

Author's Response: Thanks for this very encouraging review, very positive indeed. I'm glad you liked it and that I achieved the surprise element. Voldemort, yes, I find him hard to do but the reviews have been positive so far, so maybe I can do him after all (getting vain lol). I really enjoyed writing this scene too.

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Review #9, by Bella_Portia 

15th January 2008:
Arithmancy sign for infinite . . .The password had, at that point, been given, straight to his mind

Description of the gothic ice castle was marvelous. Percy's flight to the highest turret was also extremely well written.

I must admit I was a little confused about where I was. The overall implicit location of the place, and the reference to the Great Hall, made me wonder whether this was an iced-over Hogwarts or another castle altogether. (And if you made it clear earlier in the story, I am sorry.)

The scene between Voldemort and Percy was very well done. I thought it was very much in character, and yet it was a nice surprise to have the Ministry Official be that nasty little climber.

This comment
[center] "On hearing that comment, Bellatrix Lestrange glanced at the Dark Lord timidly, almost as if she were begging his approval. He, however, appeared to ignore her."[/center]
confused me a bit, especially in light of its placement in the discussion of Harry and his 'weakness.'

Overall, this was a very impressive, very well conceived and described scene.

On the scene with Hermione and her dad, I think the scene is a is a [i] little [/i] long, considering the dry nature of the subject matter. Others may react differently; and the scene is interesting in that it introduces us more fully to Hermione's dad and the parents from which she came. But while the description of the house, the mom's care, and [b] especially [/b] the overgrown yard, are really fine, the lengthy description of Harry's financial problems and solutions are not terribly interesting.

The final section about the Petunia plan is interesting, although I must admit I don't see Hermione as the sort of person who would take a shot of whiskey to get her nerve up.

Author's Response: Thanks so much. Believe me I was at a complete lost as to where to put Voldy's HQ, then I saw Snow Queen over Christmas and that was it, ice castle! It took me ages to write that scene, but I'm very pleased that the reviews on it so far had been very positive.

Now, Bella, poor soul! I thought it was clear but then again I wrote them,so maybe not. Well LV makes a derogatory comment re Harry sleeping with Ginny (or possibly doing so), that is when she recoils and look into her Master's eyes for approval, he calls Potter pathetic for giving into that... you get me? Actually I requested this ship (Voldy/Bella) before DH for the ship forum and people thought I was on a trip of sorts! Then Helena-B-C confirmed it and so did JKR, whether it was ever physical it's not known and yes, it is one sided, Bella loves him, he doesn't give a damn (although he screamed in DH when she was killed) but that is their story...

Now, Hermione and her father, yes I thought it may be a tad boring. The thing with Harry's money, well, they will buy a London flat, which Dr Granger suggest but I also felt in DH that I wanted to find out more about them, so maybe this is slightly self-indulgence. Now, I have a legalistic thing about me as you know, when I write, so I worked out that the goblin idea would only work with the help of a Muggle, because under Muggle Law Harry is still under age by one year, but that's just me being pedantic. I know you are an Attorney, we call ourselvelves Solicitors or Barristers here (I'm a Solicitor). Barristers are supposed to be a little higher up, we are more advisors and they are more litigators sort of thing. I know I can get tedious with my obsessiveness about legal accuracy.

Now, Percy, what do you think of him...?


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Review #10, by JLHufflepuff 

10th January 2008:
I like the way you set up the first part - starting off describing the surroundings and not allowing us to know who the man is ... So Percy is a complete traitor? !!! I somehow believe that he might end up regretting his decision, maybe because he didn't want to take the Dark Mark... And I agree that out of all of the Molly is the weakest in relation to Percy because she would obviously want to reestablish contact with him no matter what. Also, it's kind of a new twist that Hermione is becoming really interested in Harry's finances and is enlisting her father's help... I'm not exactly clear on what she's contacting Petunia for (to sign for any property Harry might buy?) ... I'm interested to see how their little meeting goes. .. Also, I think this chapter has a great title as there were two Rendezvous in it! :)

Author's Response: Thanks again. Percy, well... I can't tell you much more! Yes, I didn't want the reader to know straight away who the man from the Ministry was. Now, he may be working on his own or under Umbridge's orders... Of course, Molly is very vulnerable to him and it will probably become pitiful to see how much she loves her children no matter what they may be.

Now, there is another hint of things to come in that Voldy seems to be getting interested in the Harry/Ginny relationship, bearing in mind that he has a connection with both (her dream about the potion). However, this will be a double edged sword for all concerned and the closer they get phsycally the more connected.

Hermione, well, I thought it was about time that she went to see her father. Also, yes, Harry is in a bit of a mess money-wise because of Umbridge's schemes. The result of this is that they will buy a London appartment which will be their base for their quest (the trio's), Ginny will join in later and Molly won't be happy about that at all as you can well imagine. She will calm down eventually though.

The reason for Hermione to call Petunia, no, sorry if I didn't spell it out clearly enough. What Hermione wants to find out is how much Petunia knows about Snape! In chapter 7, after she gets rescued she says some very strange things (coming from her) like that Snape is not on the side of the Death Eaters and that she knew him well when they were younger (I would say via Lily but she has admited to having gone out with him, as in to the cinema or something - I'm not making a ship out of these two!). Also, Harry is still wondering what happened really between him and his mum but he won't talk to his aunt at the moment because he's got into his head that her and Snape staged the kidnapping business as a trap and Hermione thinks that Petunia maybe whatever but she is just not a Death Eater and wants Harry to come to his senses!

Thanks so much again x


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Review #11, by Joanne K 

5th January 2008:
Wow! the opening of this chapter was simply brilliant! It just drew me in, the imagery was fantastic. I just loved your descriptions. And Percy! What the? He's evil? I think we may have another Snape on our hands, because now I am wondering who his true allegiances are really with.

The pace slowed with Hermione and her father, but this was okay and it was nice to meet Will Granger. Although I must say from this point on I noticed quite a few grammar, spelling and structural errors, something I am not really used to in your writing. I am guessing you most likely did not proof read as thoroughly as you usually do?

As with Harry smoking, I felt that Hermione taking a shot of alcohol was quite out of character for her, it seems more like something Ron would do. Although you did say it was uncharacteristic, I still don't think she would do it, even if it was for courage. Maybe it's just because I relate to Hermione a lot, and it is something I would never have done at her age. I am intrigued about her coming conversation with Petunia and how it will turn out. I guess I'll just have to wait for the next chapter. :)

Author's Response: I'm glad you like the beginning. At one point I did have no idea what I could use as Voldy's Headquarters and then, ok, after probably watching too much Christmas TV, I thought, right, ice castle!

Percy... ah, that's is another question and all I can say is that you're really perceptive because, in a way, I planted clues in both directions but, I'm afraid I can tell you just yet because I would spoil it for you. Also, bear in mind that Umbridge may be involved.

Yes, I was wondering if the second part is not a bit boring, actually. I guess this story reflects both the war and the conundrums they are facing mixed with daily life. I thought I had not really dealt very much with Hermione's reaction to her mother's death (well apart from in chapter 12 when she breaks down a bit), because there was so much stuff going on anyway in other respects. Yes, I thought her father could come into it somehow. They obviously need to outsmart the Ministry with regard to Harry's money and this will take us to the next part of the story, when they leave Grimmauld Place and the trio go to live in a London appartment that Harry buys, which will become their base. The last thing that Harry wants whilst hunting down Horcruxes is to draw attention to himself, so living in a Muggle area will give him more privacy so to speak.

I must definitely proof-read this for errors, thanks for pointing this out. Now, Hermione and the brandy, yes, very out of character indeed. What I was trying to show is that they are all beginning to lose their grip a little. Of course, I don't turn her into an alcoholic or anything but maybe I'm overdoing this, i.e. all of them acting in strange ways like this. Maybe I can use something else to show that she is nervous about having to persuade Petunia to talk to her, and about Snape, of all people! Hopefully, it will not take me as long to update as it did with this chapter.

Thanks so much for following this story and reviewing the lot.

Hugs x


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Review #12, by Celticfaerie13 

5th January 2008:
I think you have something really interesting on your hands. I think the plot is really original and I'm impressed with how you've made this story and it's characters your own.

I'm really enjoying the Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione relationships as well as the love/hate relationship between Malfoy and Harry. There are times when that is just comical. I'm looking forward to more chapters!

Author's Response: Wow, you've read the lot in one go! Now, I'm impressed! I only requested a review like one hour ago! I don't think I can even read JKR that fast, goodness!

By the way, I took the liberty to check your profile when I requested (normally do this because my story in places is not for the faint hearted, say Narcissa's death) and you say you're spiritual. I'm too but I'm basically inter-religion. I started life as a Catholic, have knowledge of Wicca and friends from all sorts, like Jewish, Muslim you name it! I may owl you because you sound very interesting and if you like my religious take on this (undoubtedly the power of love (Jesus) and do no harm (Wicca) and the fact that if someone tries to do you in in the Pagan world and you love them, they cannot touch you) (not my saying, just as the legend goes! lol) well, I was certainly interested in what you said in your profile but, I'm not preaching, more like trying to entertain on this site.

Anyhow, may the force be with you! x


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Review #13, by kara101 

4th January 2008:
I am back again. First off, again when you post the next chapter you may post on my thread again. The beginning was a bit confusing. I, too had a thought that perhaps Percy would go to work for the dark lord so I think that is was a smart idea. In this story, I love how you include lots of muggle things and ideas, really creative and makes the story more interesting to read. My only suggestion would be perhaps to add more description, you can always have more. Write more and update soon!

Hermione G
(Kara)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review. Now, I made the beginning ambiguous on purpose because I wanted the reader to be a bit shocked when Voldemort calls him eventually by his surname. Up to that point the Ministry man could have been anyone. The Mr. Weasley thing well, I thought some people may even think Arthur had gone bad or something (but of course Arthur wouldn't do a thing like that). Yes, I thought that that might have happen in canon but then again, is he working on its own, on the Ministry's orders? Well, I cannot disclose that just yet but there will be twists.

The Muggle stuff, yes I like mixing both worlds, although some people had said in threads etc that they hate the trio using computers etc. I can actually personally see Hermione taking advantage of all that is available, whether is magical or technological and of course Harry was brought up as a Muggle too. It will be interesting to get Ron to follow suit though.

Also, you say that I could use more description, you mean in the Hermione/Dad scene or in the Voldemort one. I thought I described the castle quite a bit but owl me if you want to give me a more detail indication as to this.

Again, thanks so much x


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Review #14, by Sully11 

4th January 2008:
great chapter!! I can't wait to see what they do with Harry's money or how Percy and Voldemort work out in later chapters. I have fixed my story up and just submitted chapter 7 so it should be up shortly if you want to check it out. I really appreciate the reviews. Update Soon!! ~Sully11~ 10/10

Author's Response: Thanks so much. Yes, I'll definitely review your story too! Harry has a bit of a problem with Umbridge after his money. I think it's safe to say, I don't reckon it's too much of an spoiler, that he will buy a London appartment and that will be their base to hunt horcruxes. A bit more comfortable than the camping in canon but that doesn't mean that they are in for a smooth ride. Obviously, he is not famous in the Muggle world so he can come and go much more unnoticed.

Of course, the Voldemort/Percy interaction will be, well, interesting... Now, do you reckon he is working on Umbridge orders or on his own? There will be more on this later.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing the lot! x


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Review #15, by Labby 

3rd January 2008:
Interesting chapter, I'm glad to see an update! I'm not sure I remember much about reading about Percy, so that's kind of annoying, the fact that he's siding with Voldemort. I wonder what's going to happen with his plotting.

I'm not quite sure I like how Hermione's getting her father involved. That's going to make it more dangerous for him. He seems like a nice guy though. And I can't wait to see what happens.

Great chapter once again and I can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: No, you are right, this is the first time that Percy shows up in this story. Now, remember that there could be twists anywhere or they may not be, I can't tell you yet, but if he could be dangerous if he is truly a DE because Molly would never turning him down and the wand, well Harry & Co better get to move!

Hermione's father, yes, I wanted him to be a nice guy. She doesn't want him in danger of course but she doesn't know what else to do about Umbridge preventing Harry from accessing his money so she is coming up with Muggle schemes. Where this will lead will be to Harry buying a London appartment which will become the trio's base and, yes, I realised that under English Law, he is still a minor for another year so I had to concoct some device to make this possible (I have a thing for legal accuracy since this is my degree in real life) lol.

I will try to update sooner than the last time. Sorry about taking so long...


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