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57 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Ivypool 

14th September 2011:
So detailed! It's fantastic!

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Review #2, by HereLiesDobby 

15th August 2009:
this is absolutely one of the best stories i've read yet! i, too, have wondered about Merope's past...so little is really said about her in the books. You've done an amazing job creating her life! and i especially love the Trelawney insert in the story...especially since Professor Trelawney makes the prophecy about Voldemort later in her life.ah, i LOVE how it all fits together!

Author's Response: Thank you so, so much! :) Merope is a very interesting character. I think Voldemort's an intriguing villain but what makes a villain's story is how he/she got to be that way. Voldie's parents played a big part in his fate and it was a wonderful experience to explore that. Glad you liked how Trelawney fits into the big picture too! Her storyline is tied to Voldemort's for sure.

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Review #3, by whacked 

31st May 2009:
i don't have much to say on your writing, coz its excellent. great grammar, very readable tc etc. but the characters seem a little OOC. merope is too confident, and Tom not arrogant enough. but i suppose its what's you need to make thsi tory work. good job. 10/10!

Author's Response: Thanks!! I've been writing for quite some time so I've been tuning up the spelling and grammar for years. :)

Thanks for your CC on Merope and Tom's characters! You're right, I've taken a lot of liberty with the way they are written. The fact that they are such incredibly minor characters (they showed up for one chapter and each had, like, what? Three lines apiece) was something I took advantage of. I made them into what I wanted them to be for the story.


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Review #4, by rosie_sirius93 

21st January 2009:
Very clever! Having Bethe being a Trelawney and the whole idea of the violin bringing them together is so sweet!! I think you are doing a fantastic job of making them fall in love, not too quickly and including the last part about Tom not wanting to see Cecilia is clever! You are a fantastic author, going to add you to my favs! So glad I clicked on the founders teasers for something different!
10/10
;D

Author's Response: You're sweet, Rosie, thank you :) I'm just really glad that you like this story! I'm also very glad that not only did you try reading this minor character story, you also gave the Founders one-shots a try. Thanks for the review!

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Review #5, by sazel_c 

27th October 2008:
Oooo, it's geting close. I can't wait to see someone's view of the love potion in way more detail than JK ever gave us.

Author's Response: I hope you like my ideas about the love potion! I remember wishing we could hear more about Merope's story in the books. Thanks for your review!!

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Review #6, by savagebeginnings 

25th October 2008:
Hi again! Oh what's this I see? Tom is intrigued by Merope. How fun! Merope is such an interesting character. The way you write her is so interesting and shows a very in depth side to her that no one really tries to see. And all the drama with her family makes me want to sympathize with her! I also loved the pride in Merope that is starting to show through.

Your father was a Trelawney, an ancient wizarding family." - Oh ho! Suddenly the last name makes sense to me!

I really like the history that you've set up for Bethe. I don't know why, but I have a feeling that it will affect Bethe's and Merope's friendship. Again, not much to critique with this. There were no glaring mistakes and it was a smooth read. Overall, an excellent chapter!

Author's Response: Tom is definitely become more interested in Merope. She's just so different from all the other girls he knows and that's very attractive to someone who has been around the same type of woman all his life. There is definitely a lot of drama surrounding Merope's family (more on that later on) and pride is a strong characteristic of the Gaunts.

Yep, Bethe is a Trelawney! And the last name being changed was due to a smudge on a letter :)

Glad you like the history! And Bethe will certainly affect Merope's story; I've tried to make all of the minor characters relate somehow to the bigger story of Tom and Merope's romance. Thanks so much for the review!


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Review #7, by Tor Petty 

14th October 2008:
Wow. How very romantic - especially for one of the least romantic pairings in HP history. Perhaps we don't give this couple enough credit! Especially after this story, I'm thoroughly impressed, and I can't wait to read more. :)

Author's Response: Really? :) I think Tom and Merope are awfully romantic even in canon ... the rich boy and the poor girl, running away to get married, breaking up when he discovered that she had loved him enough to use a potion on him. Glad you like the romance in this story though and I hope you'll enjoy the rest! Thank you for all of your reviews :)

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Review #8, by granpa harry 

1st June 2008:
excellent, I didn't think of syball at all.

Author's Response: Haha yeah just a little tribute to Sybil thrown in there. :)

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Review #9, by morgana67 

12th May 2008:
So, Bethe and Sybil are cousins? I thought she was likely to be related to a canon character but I never guessed the Trelawneys, although you gave us a clue with her surname.

You're doing a wonderful job at portraying a credible story for this unlikely (even if canon) pairing. Very well done.

The only very small thing I notice was the house number. In England we very seldom have streets with over 1000 houses, especially in a rural hamlet and in a line, but this is a very small detail.

Wonderful story so far!

Author's Response: Hi Morgana! *hugs* Thanks for coming just like you promised! I'm supposed to be getting down to "Mysteries Unveiled" this week but I just haven't found the time yet, I promise you'll have something from me within the next few days.

Yep, Bethe and Sybil are cousins. Sybil will come from the branch of the Trelawneys living in Ireland, and we'll get to meet them within a couple chapters I think.

Thank you so much for letting me know that about the house numbers! This is what I mean about being as realistic as possible. Being an ignorant American I don't know these useful things! I've changed it to #13. :D

Thanks!! :)


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Review #10, by shadowycorner 

6th May 2008:
The second half of this chapter was your best yet and with your writing skills I'm sure it's going to get better and better. Honestly, I was trembling when Tom played the violin. And later when he thought about her and compared her to Cecilia, about that willfulness of her...I'm running out of superlatives, clearly I need to check for some synonyms. The way you describe the scene...everything is natural, and romantic, and dark at the same time...I really love your description, because it's not overdone, but stays to the point and describes just enough. And I can't forget to mention the wording and phrases in some places, which sound magical and absolutely enticing like 'She had never been so alone, and yet she had never felt so alive.' But my favorite must be 'the look they exchanged was like the ghost of a kiss, breathless in its nonexistence.'

Elizabeth

PS: Oh my, lol, Bethe is Trelawney's...mother, I assume? Well, that's just totally awesome! Will her background and this storyline influence the main plot except the spoken prophecy? I'm excited!

Author's Response: Yay!! Thank you :) Tom is a very, very confused man. He's torn between duty and attraction - but he doesn't love Merope (they don't really even know each other), it's just a curiosity mixed with a weird kind of pull towards her. It's fate!

Hee hee good guess on Bethe, you're pretty close but no, she's not Sibyl's mother. They'll be cousins - Sibyl will come from the branch of the family in Ireland.

Thank you Elizabeth! :D Glad you're enjoying the story!

- Jules :)


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Review #11, by ButterflyRogue 

4th May 2008:
Very, very good with Bethe being a descendant of Cassandra Trelawney!! I would have never guessed it --- though you gave a clue with that letter, I thought the non-capitalized 'L' was just a typo... Looks like Bethe inherited more talent than poor Sybil, though... ;)
The story of her parents almost reminds a bit of James and Lilly... :D It leaves me curious for more, though... I sense Bethe's background will have some relevance to the unfolding of events around Tom and Merope. Will the two friends part once Bethe predicts the tragic end of Merope's love story?

I loved the role Tom had in Marvolo and Morfin's arrest and the yet another interaction between him and Merope. I also liked Tom's comparing of Merope and Cecilia. It had me wondering --- would he maybe fall in love with her eventually, without the help of the love potion? Would it make things end up differently? I am desperately trying to make excuses because I've really gotten so very fond of Merope... I know it isn't going to happen, but sometimes I just wish you'd go off canon and make a happy ending for her...

"the look they exchanged was like the ghost of a kiss, breathless in its nonexistence." --- this might just be my favorite line so far... Beautifully written, it perfectly sums up the entire relationship between Tom and Merope.

Author's Response: Haha you guys are so sharp! Pretty much everyone has picked up on that capitalization error and called me out on it, which is fantastic. I think it's a wonderful compliment that you're all paying close attention to the story. One of the things I admire about JKR's writing is her attention to detail, and it's one of the skills that I strive for. The littlest details that she throws in randomly can become incredibly significant - I'm hoping that she comes out with a mystery story next because it's the hallmark of a fantastic suspense writer. But anyway, back on topic ... I've been experimenting with adding in these details here and there, and that "L" is one of them. Good eye!

And that's a great guess - Bethe's love for Merope combined with her prophetic ability will not come to a happy ending, especially when Merope's obsession gets the better of her. Nothing is going to end happily in this story, I'm afraid...

Haha sorry!! :( I won't be going off canon, but I think I can safely promise you (and the other lovely readers who are rooting for Tom and Merope) that you will like the two little epilogues that I have planned for the very end of this story. Merope's ending is not a happy one but I don't see why I can't end it on a somewhat good note...

Thanks for another terrific review!! :)


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Review #12, by momotwins 

1st May 2008:
Dude! Totally did not see the Trelawney thing coming. There you go then, not a nit ;) Dang you're good. I wish I had a rich relative to leave me a big ol' house hehe. Ah the great resisting arrest scene, I like the spin you put on it to fit the story better, well done. You made it your own while still keeping to the original. I like that Merope has a bit of the Slytherin-Gaunt pride, like her son, beaten down though she's been, that's a good touch. I like how Tom sees Cecilia in a new light now, too.

Great line:
"the look they exchanged was like the ghost of a kiss, breathless in its nonexistence." Absolutely beautiful!

Author's Response: Hee hee :D I think only one or two people have guessed early on that Bethe was a Trelawney, so you're in good company! I'm really glad most readers didn't guess it - what fun would it be if everyone saw a plot twist coming a mile away? :P

Oh me too, I would gladly welcome a phone call any day about some filthy rich ancestor who had just died and could I please fly to Bermuda and accept the ten billion dollar beach house?

Merope has definitely got some pride! You don't live eighteen years in the same house as Marvolo Gaunt and not have the Slytherin heritage pounded into your head every day.

Thanks for yet another lovely review :D :D


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Review #13, by Bella_Portia 

24th April 2008:
I thoroughly enjoyed the scene at the cottage (again!) with the Magical Law Enforcement cops and the rest of the gang. In essence, I thought the way you took the canon scene and made it your own was terrific. Merope is a very wilful young woman who wants what she wants. Tom, on the other hand, is drifting, susceptible to being pulled along by people --women -- who are stonger-willed than he is.

The scene at the end, the bit that showed an introspective side of Tom -- that was excellent and, I thought, important to show his inner motives.

Author's Response: Thanks! It was really fun to imagine Marvolo and Morfin's arrest. The Bob Ogden visit remained the same but I thought he would take personal offense to being insulted/attacked and make sure to come back with a whole coterie of cops. :D

Yes I'm afraid I'm guilty of making Tom seem a little wishy-washy and indecisive in contrast to my strong female characters. I guess he doesn't really know what he wants, having been mummy and daddy's little boy all his life.

Thanks for another review! :)


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Review #14, by _DearMyLove_ 

10th April 2008:
GAH! So Bethe’s a Trelawney??? And the letter! GAH! Oh that is clever…that is so, so clever…wow…I’m speechless. That was such a good idea! And now she’s got that manor house as well! Oh and the parallels between Bethe’s parents and Tom and Merope…again don’t know if you intended it but it’s definitely there. The arrogant son who calms down and follows his heart. And Tom and Merope! I loved the bit with the violin, especially ‘the look they exchanged was like the ghost of a kiss, breathless in its non-existence.’ Your writing is like poetry, it’s so beautiful.

Ok now for some ordered reviewing instead of ramblings! It could just be because I’ve had to go a while between reading chapters, but I got a bit confused with who the people Bethe were meeting were. The old woman was the person who gave Bethe up for adoption, right? Oh and the people in the Trelawney family that you mentioned, like Cilian Trelawney, you made them all up? That’s quite an imagination you have! Lol, makes my feeble attempts at creating OCs pale in comparison!

I liked the way you re-wrote the bit with Ogden, although my one tiny criticism would be that it felt a little rushed right at the end. I would have liked to hear a little bit more about Merope’s reaction to what was going on. She seemed a little out of place if you see what I mean. But then I basically forgot about all that with the violin bit! Ah, classic romance right there. Brilliant, absolutely perfect. And I guess the potion will be given to Tom during one of his trips to play the violin. I always wondered how he was given the potion in the first place, considering it seemed that they were both so different and led such different lives. I kind of feel sorry for Cecilia though, but oh well, Merope’s the one for Tom! :D

Found a typo, just to let you know: "I've seen it there many times. "Don't look at it, dearest." – you have stray speech marks in the middle :P

Brilliant chapter, as always. You have real talent, m’dear! Oooh I always forget to ask, but I've just remembered. Where do the pictures for your banner and chapter images come from? Are they from a certain period drama or something? They just fit so well! :)
x

Author's Response: Haha yes, Bethe's connected to the HP universe through her own mysterious ways. Eventually I'll connect her with the Professor Trelawney at Hogwarts in Harry's school days.

Yes, the old woman was the one who brought Bethe to the orphanage. She has always felt guilty about doing so (because of her great friendship with Bethe's grandmother) but was not able to care for a baby at her age. And yes, everyone mentioned (with the exception of Cassandra Trelawney herself) was created by me ... I'll have to go back and clarify that bit.

Yeah I think I did rush through that scene a bit, I'll go back and check it out. And yep, Merope's mother's violin - that's going to play an integral role later on in the story of her parents, which will in turn be important to Merope's story.

Haha after having written about Cecilia I feel sorry for her too. Canon Cecilia didn't have that much to do or say for herself, so I never felt sorry for her until I really looked at her situation and brought it out in full dramatic fashion - she is the spurned lover after all. We never knew if she was engaged to Tom or not (that was also my doing for more drama) but she must have meant something to him until he found Merope.

Thanks for the heads up on the typo! And the pictures aren't just from one period drama, but from several different ones. It was a lot of hard work hunting those pictures down so I'm glad they seem to fit. :)

Thanks for your review.


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Review #15, by Echo95 

25th March 2008:
this was a really, really good chapter. You write very well!

Author's Response: Thanks, glad you liked it!

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Review #16, by greylady_Ravenclaw 

24th March 2008:
Since I tried to correct the capitalization in the last chapter, I had no idea that Bethe was a Trelawney. I dropped my coke on my computer when I read that. xD This story has lots of twists! It's so exciting!

Finally, Morfin and Marlovo are gone! Now Merope can have a moment with Tom and she did! Poor Cecilia, Merope is gonna steal her man. Cecilia doesn't deserve him anyways, her name and heritage may not be common, but her mind is. (I hope that makes sense...)

I was so surprised when Tom offered Merope a job. I thought she would take it, but she didn't! And she bought herself some more time with Tom. She's really smart even though her dad didn't want her to be. I never would have believed that Tom would think about Merope the way he does. I thought he would always think of her as a peasant and common, but he thinks of her as an equal! Well, kinda, I've confused myself now. xD Great Job! 10/10

Author's Response: HAHA! Good for you, for spotting that though. I think only two or three other people have noticed it and commented on it, and I tried to reply as vaguely as possible and not offend any of them ("no way! I'm not changing that error!") LOL. :D Oh plot twists, how I love them - get ready for more as the story goes on. :)

I absolutely agree with you about Cecilia, she's nothing very special which is why Merope stands out compared to her, in spite of how beautiful and wealthy Cecilia is. Tom has noticed, I promise you!

Tom offered her a job mainly because he feels sorry for her - probably the first time he has ever sympathized with a commoner. That's how much of an impression she has made upon him; also, he isn't the evil guy that he was speculated to be in canon (at least not in my story). He's brighter than most people take him for, and he has picked up on the fact that there is more to Merope than meets the eye.

Thanks hun! :)


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Review #17, by marauder_lover 

24th March 2008:
I had no idea about Bethe! It didn't even cross my mind.. ooh you're good! I really liked that whole bit with her at the begining though as it was reall y well written and it was awesome to find out more about her, lucky her for inheriting a huge house!

The other part of the chapter though! Wow! It was written brilliantly! It flowed so nicely from cannon to your original thoughts, it was seemless. I also really like the relationship between Merope and Tom. I really like that she isn't a wallflower and a wimp that she could have turned out to be with a father and brother like hers, her strength is endearing, and I really like the progression their relationship has took.

Ahh! It's a great story, well done!

Author's Response: Hee hee that part just came at me from out of nowhere, I hadn't even planned on having her inherit Cassandra's old house. :) I'm thrilled that you like Tom/Merope! From the beginning I had to build up their relationship as realistically as I could; I really wanted to get them together right away but I knew that it wouldn't be believable. Finally they have gone from noticing each other to actually having a conversation. Yay!

I think Merope's biggest problem is her father and brother. If they weren't around all the time to abuse and degrade her, she might have come into her own much sooner.

Thanks for another terrific review :)


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Review #18, by AnnaKay 

19th March 2008:
Well I always knew that her family is a bunch of good for nothing pain in the butts. Here they go showing how true that was. She is now alone. I think she will do great without her brother or father there to keep her under their thumb.

Maybe the violin is the one thing that changes everything. It would seem to me that way. I wonder what is going to happen, and if it is going to happen soon.

Author's Response: Hahaha I know! I think she will like the freedom very much, now that Marvolo and Morfin are both in jail. Marvolo won't be back for another six months as we know in canon (so March or so) and a lot can and will happen in that time period. ;)

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Review #19, by Gords7015 

3rd March 2008:
Soo, great chapter. I was surprised to see who Bethe was descended from, although of course, now it makes sense. I wonder if you could explain the boating accident. I think that sounds a bit suspicious (maybe a jealous action on behalf of the brother), who knows but it deserves to be fleshed out. Other than that, its a great chapter. I liked the arresting scene, and you cover Tom's dilemma very well! I have to say, I never thought I'd see his point of view. I almost don't want there to be a love potion, because if there is, then it makes what they already have lose its luster. Despite that, I'm now in it until the end!

Please keep it up!

Author's Response: Gords! Thank you for coming back! :)

The boating accident ... you know what? I wasn't planning on going into much depth on that but I think I will. Bethe will get in touch with her family within the next few chapters for sure, so there may be some more explanation on that. :)

Ooh good you liked the arresting scene? Besides the love potion, that little scene was something I had been dying to write since starting this story. I'd always wanted to know exactly how Morfin attacked Tom and then what happened when the Ministry officials (led by an understandably angry Bob Ogden) returned to throw the Gaunt men into jail. I'm thinking about possibly including a scene from Morfin Gaunt's POV in Azkaban, so keep an eye out for that!

I completely understand your misgivings about the love potion, and you are not the only person who has told me that! :D Unfortunately I'm supremely anal-retentive about sticking to canon so if JKR mentioned a love potion (which wasn't even used for certain, now I think about it; it was just a guess of Dumbledore's), there will be a love potion. If canon Merope died alone and unloved, Merope in this story will die alone and unloved. But rest assured I will always put my own spin on things. ;)

Thank you Gords! These are amazing reviews!


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Review #20, by luvdraco87 

29th February 2008:
Another great chap. Really loved it,

Constance
10/10

Author's Response: Thank you :)

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Review #21, by Harry_Potter_Mom 

25th February 2008:
This is an amazing story ... I should have left a review for each chapter!

My absolute favorite phrase ... "And when his eyes met Merope's, the look they exchanged was like the ghost of a kiss, breathless in its nonexistence." Perfection.

I can't wait to see where this is going. I feel terrible for Tom right now - having to choose between duty and love. Again, before reading this story ... I was sure I wouldn't like Tom, but you've cast a light on him that casts him completely differently. Thank you for sharing your vision with us.

And yes :) I guessed correctly about Bethe, but I too was confused about her last name - nicely done!

On to the next chapter!

Teresa

Author's Response: Hi again Teresa :D I'm glad you came back!

Yeah haha I didn't want them rushing into anything yet, so that sentence was as close as I wanted it to get to an actual kiss. Glad you liked it :)

Tom is in quite the quandary but he doesn't love Merope; he is just attracted and feels a connection to her at this point. I'm happy that you've been able to see him in a different light; he's definitely just a human being, after all. :)

Good job on your shrewd guess about Bethe! :) The last name was a little tricky though.

Thank you for another great review!


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Review #22, by Rebekka 

14th February 2008:
OH MY GOD, I love this. I love Tom and Merope. I don't know what to say, because I'm so excited and sad and terrified and wistful and... just please please please make it somehow, someway hopeful. I know that it's a terribly sad story that will end badly, but still... something hopeful. And you do that. You've already done it so many times. Every time I think everything is going to go wrong, you somehow save the day and things work out... and then there's always something looming over them, threatening to destroy everything. Gosh, this is so good. I cannot even begin to tell you how much I love this story. This is amazing. One of the best. I do hope you'll update soon, because I only have one chapter left. Thank you so very much for writing this story. It's truly wonderful. Perfect. Rare. Just something very special.

Author's Response: Thank you so very much for reading this story! I can't tell you how excited I am that you enjoy my work this much. It just makes me very happy to be able to write something that you have fun reading!

I have had the ending scene of this story pictured as clearly as a bell in my head for a long time now. Obviously I can't promise you a happy ending, since we know what happens to Merope in canon and I'm sticking to it, but I can safely say that I think you will not mind the final scene. :)

I appreciate all of your reviews so, so much, thanks for humoring me and going along with my story. Your encouragement means a lot and you're a sweetheart for leaving such kind and positive feedback. I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story just as much, I'm currently working on a brand new story that should be finished this weekend (if I have enough motivation!) but I will begin Chapter 8 very shortly. I have the story planned out through at least Chapter 12 so it should flow out easily for quite a while! :D Thanks darling!


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Review #23, by OneOfTheWeasleys 

14th January 2008:
I can't believe I never noticed you updated! I've been waiting forever when the whole time it was here!! AHHH! Great chapter! It was so captivating and I love how everything is coming out now. The Trelawney part was amazing, a little rushed, but still so good! Grr, I wish Tom would stop being so...so.TOM! haha I love this story so much and I can't wait to read more!

Great chapter dear! 10/10 as always :D

Author's Response: Hello dear! Haha that's okay, I've been completely forgetting my favorite stories list and I haven't been checking to see which ones are updated, so it's likely that I've missed one or two of your updates as well. Gotta check on that asap...

Thanks very much! Sorry you found that part rushed, I didn't want to play out Bethe's story any longer than I already had, since I'm switching the focus onto Tom and Merope. Hahaha Tom can't be anything but Tom, unfortunately - maybe he'll wake up soon. ;)

Thank you so much darling!! I'm thrilled that you're still enjoying it! You need to remind me about your story, the reviews thread is the best place to do that! Have a good week :)


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Review #24, by Urvi 

14th January 2008:
I cant' wait for the next chapter. This story is coming along very nicely. Please update sooN!

Author's Response: Well thank you so much, I will be updating very shortly! I'm working on Chapter 7 as we speak. :)

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Review #25, by Erratic Amethyst 

13th January 2008:
Haha! That is so awesome about Bethe!! I knew it from the beginning... And gosh, I can't say poor Merope enough...but i guess she is finally getting things into business. I also can't wait to see what will happen when Cecilia gets more involved. :) Your writing, once again, is very beautiful, and this was an excellent chapter! I loved every word of it and I can't wait until you continue. :)
FAVES!!! Update soon!

Deepest love,

~Erratic~ (I only hope one day my stories will be as endearing as yours.) ;)

Author's Response: Aww you're sweet, thank you for that nice compliment. :) :) You guessed about Bethe? Good for you! I know, but things will be looking up for Merope slightly from now on. And the next chapter will begin from Cecilia's POV, so you will certainly see more of her. Thank you darling! So honored that you like it! :D

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