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50 Reviews Found

Review #1, by emma28 

16th January 2017:
I really enjoyed this chapter. I've always been interested in Sirius and regulus after he left home. I feel like while sirius says he hates him, he still cares.
You did this really well

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Review #2, by rose4ever 

11th May 2012:
tun tun tun ( u know that dramatic thing they do in the movies)..totally knew that was going to happen at one point.

janke

Author's Response: Haha, yeah, who could resist it? ;o Lots of fun drama coming your way :) Thanks for the review and I hope you have a great day :)

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Review #3, by alicia and anne 

14th February 2012:
Oh no Sirius and Regulus are arguing!
I prefer Nellie's family motto, and imagining them playing Jena and elbows getting in the way is hilarious :-D
Regulus is defiantly a flapjack! He needs to realise that blood purity isn't everything *sigh*
Oh Sirius and Regulus I want them to hug and get on like brothers but they're divided by their beliefs:-(
Nellie could totally be spy!
Oh no! They're going to fight. Good on Nellie for taking their wands from them! Although bless her for getting them all mixed up hehe.
Nellie, Sirius likes you! Oh if only you could see that.
:-O No Sirius has caught Nellie and Regulus together! This can't be good.
I'm so glad I'm reviewing this story again :-D I've missed reading it! Fantastic chapter!

Author's Response: Hello lovely! And yes! They are fighting :( Haha, yes, Nellie's family motto is the best as they all play jenga! I love jenga! I know :( He does. He will eventually and does feel it now, the things he says are the things he feels he should say but he's not sure whether he actually feels them. And yes! I wish Regulus and Sirius would get on! It would make everything a lot easier! And yes! Sirius catching her stopped her from doing anything stupid! Aw! I'm glad you're back! I love your reviews, they are always awesome! Thanks so much for the review and I hope you have a great day!

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Review #4, by xoFallinginReverse 

29th December 2011:
I don't paticularly enjoy Regulus .
In fact I kinda want to lock him in a banana infested closet .
He is not the nicest tool in the tool box . D:

Author's Response: That he isn't (: He's complicated but I personally have a soft spot for him. Despite his bad decisions, he does care about Nellie. And thanks so much for the review! I hope you have a great day! Xxx

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Review #5, by Secret Santa *hands you a candy cane* 

24th December 2011:
HI! IT'S YOUR SECRET SANTA AND WHAT A CHAPTER THIS WAS! I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT. I AM SHOCKED. MY MOUTH IS OPEN AND I'M SURE A FLY CAN ZOOM RIGHT IN.

I'M SHOCKED.

IT'S A BIT OVERWHELMING REALLY.

The ending was a curve ball I did not expect Sirius to come back and just...well, I didn't expect them to sorta kiss either and it's just so painfully obvious he likes her. I'm just blown away. Nellie is a bit of a minx, isn't she? I'm o-fficially obsessed with this story.

I caught a few mistakes though:


- Nothing was expected off you anymore

'off' should be 'of'


- Or is his time of the month?

I think you're missing a word: Or is this his time of the month?

Other than that it was brilliant. :D

Author's Response: Haha, I loved writing this chapter, it was so much fun to write. And I'm glad you didn't see the ending coming. Yes, it was pretty painful for all of the characters. Yeah, that's Nellie ;) Thanks so much, I'm so glad you like the story! Thanks for pointing those out, I will fix them as soon as possible! Thanks so much for the review and I hope you have a great day! xxx

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Review #6, by katey 

11th December 2011:
jtyhtgrsefasdxtfcyjtutyht stopp ittt, ugh i die.

can i please have both Black brothers fawning over me?!

I'm in love. with this story :)

Author's Response: Haha, of course you can (: And I'm so happy you like the story. It means a lot to me. Thanks so much for the review, it's made my day. I hope you have a great day! Xxx

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Review #7, by Rexy 

30th October 2011:
Sibling rivalry oh I never read the "next time on the world, biscuits and Sirius black according to Nellie o'neil" btw cause I like surprises and ohmygawd why a cliffy anything but a cliffy * cries hysterically * :D

Author's Response: Gotta love sibling rivalry! And that's okay, some people like that, some people don't :) Haha! Yes, it is :) Thanks so much for the review, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story (and the next chapter) and I hope you have a great day! xxx

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Review #8, by ShadowSparks141 

18th October 2011:
"but I was sure they couldn’t see me, they wasn’t in the best position to see me"
should be ".they /weren't/ in the best.". BTW, since there was "I was sure they couldn't see me", the "to see me" at the end of the sentence seems a little redundant.
" ..too busy in their argument to..."
maybe 'too busy with their argument'? I dunno. Whatever.
"“I’m the idiot? Ha!”"
I believe that only the "I'm" part of that statement should be italicized.
"By his own kind I meant Slytherin’s"
should be /Slytherins/, not Slytherin's. Same goes with any other statement you have in this chapter/story that goes like "Gryffindor's", "Ravenclaw's", "Hufflepuff's", whatever. Please remove the apostrophe.
"Least I think that‘s the most update one"
The most recent one[?] also, /at least/
"“Least I can be myself,”"
/at least/
" ‘O’Neill’s never give up!’ "
another such case as the 'Slytherin's' thing. /O'Neills/
"I knew he was thinking about Sirius words."
This time, an apostrophe is missing. /Sirius's or Sirius'/
"no matter how pure a family tried to say"
tried to /stay/?
"something has always got to make it murky but everything is murky"
It's seems the 'but everything is murky' bit is a little redundant, unless you italicize the 'is' or something.Also please add a comma between "something has always got to make it murky" and "but everything is murky".
"taking notice that it wasn‘t exactly in perfect condition."
I don't think the /perfect/ should be italicized. Whatever.
"Being angry is one of the most exhausting emotion isn’t it?"
Yes,yes it is. Now, it's "one of the most exhausting /emotions/".
"figure everything out a lot of the time."
most of the time[?]
"Sirius stared at Regulus hand for a moment"
Regulus's or Regulus'
"attach a leash onto his emotions"
I believe the saying is 'put a leash on'. Oh, I don't know.
"That was one of Regulus problems too. He didn’t pick up peoples emotions when they were subtle"
Regulus's or Regulus'. people's.
"shocked by Regulus confessions."
Regulus's or Regulus'
" It was horrible"
make the 'i' in "It" lowercase.
'Nothing was expected off you anymore…in fact at home, you don’t even exist.”
/Nothing was expected of you anymore..In fact, at home, you don't even exist./
"You know when I asked you to take me with you, why didn’t you?"
/You know, when I asked you to take me with you, why didn’t you?"
"I couldn’t Regulus"
/I couldn't, Regulus/
"avoiding Regulus gaze. "
Regulus's or Regulus'
"Don’t. You get worse every time I see you. You’re apologizing. Perhaps you really are a scum bag Muggle loving Gryffindor”
/Don’t. You get worse every time I see you. You’re apologizing. Perhaps you really are a Muggle-loving, scum bag Gryffindor./
also, maybe italicize the /apologizing/ part? It's up to you~
"Sirius fists were clenched"
Sirius' or Sirius's.
"lying on that ground "
on the ground
"his was laugh sadistic. "
his laugh was sadistic.
"Why can’t they talk about their feeling like earlier?"
about their feelings
"Regulus didn’t regret his words like he used too"
like he used to
" In fact I think he really did mean them. "
Maybe the italicized word should be /did/, not /mean/. Maybe.
"Sirius composure didn‘t even change"
Sirius's or Sirius'
"“The feelings mutual.” "
The feeling's mutual.
"Sirius and Regulus started circling each other. Each one waiting for the other to make the first move"
/Sirius and Regulus started circling each other, one waiting for the other to make the first move/
"I would of but…"
I would have but...
".that Sirius was hiding behind “Expulso” The table."
/that Sirius was hiding behind.
“Expulso.”
The table.../
"Or is his time of the month?"
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. /Or is it his.?/
"Sirius laughter turned bitter."
Sirius' or Sirius's
"exactly the same shade as Regulus."
Regulus' or Regulus's
“Least you’ve got your feelings out."
at least
“I like you too Sirius, I’m happy we became friends.”
No correction here actually, just a comment: OUCH. /wince
“Nellie what I meant by like is- oh.”
/“Nellie what I meant by 'like' is- oh.” /

That's about it. there were some parts that should have had commas instead of periods, blah blah blah. Didn't bother to correct XD
ANW, awesome story.

Author's Response: Heya! You're amazing! Seriously. Thank you so much! I have been meaning to edit this story for a while because these chapters were wrote 4 years ago so they need fixing. This is so helpful! Thank you so much for doing this, I hope you're liking the story so far. I hope you have a great day!

xxx


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Review #9, by foreverfleur 

27th August 2011:
While I still remember--I forgot to mention in my previous review for chapter nine--I lovedd the backstory you gave to Sirius's pet name 'Snuffles.' You have flawlessly woven Nellie into JKR's storyline. Nice job.

Ok onto this chapter then--to see the dynamic between the two brothers from your point of view was really refreshing. I always pegged them to be opposites--and by that I mean not at all connected, not even when they were younger. I like your version better, much better. To see Sirius really distressed over his blood family was something I never got to see with JKR's picture of him and it was a dimension I rather liked. It added a depth to him that I think is often missed or overlooked particularly when his running away to the Potters is commonly romanticized.

But gahhh--I didn't realize you would reveal RAB and Nell's relationship to him and so son. I guess I'm happy about it because at least she and Sirius didn't really start something only to have this little fact blow the entire thing up.. but now I'm really nervous as to how this whole thing is going to progress.. because I want nothing more than for Sirius to end up with Nellie.

Anyways .. moral of that ramble .. you're a master of suspense. Great work!

Author's Response: Aw! You think? Thank you so much! That's very kind of you to say.

Thanks! I love exploring their relationship. It's one of my favourite things to do! I think they are opposites in some respect, but not in others as they came from the same place. I mean, as much as I pretend I'm not like my family, I actually am. Haha. I thought it would be realistic as Sirius does generally love his brother and Regulus does love him back, they just don't really like each other because they've chosen very different paths.

hehe! I can't wait for you to read the next chapters, you'll see how much this past relationship effects them. I'm so glad you want them to end up together though. It means a lot to me!

Thank you so much for the review! And I hope you enjoy the all the other chapters!

xxx


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Review #10, by Chanel 

8th August 2011:
>:| Stupid Regulus. I love him, but I hate him. Gross. I am so angry with his stupidity. I know Sirius and Nellie will end up together, but it's so frustrating! You've characterized them all so perfectly, it's almost sickening. Haha! Like they all mesh and grind so perfectly that it makes for such an interesting plot. Your writing style is changing throughout the story, which isn't a bad thing, it was just something I noticed. It doesn't bother me though. It kinda fits with the idea that the story is getting somewhat darker/more angsty. Great job!
-Chanel (SlytherinPrincess55) (Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Regulus is annoying, I admit, but I cannot help but have a small soft spot for him. I'm so glad you like the way they've been characterized. Thanks! I guess they do! Haha, I've never thought of it that way. Yeah, the style does change because I've been writing this story for four years so my writing has grown over years. Haha, it does get darker because that's the way the Marauders story goes. Thanks so much for the nice review! xxx

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Review #11, by girly1393 

16th March 2011:
Bad stuff is going to go down now...

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: Yes, it is ;) Bad stuff is going down.

Thank you and thanks for the review :) It means a lot to me. I hope you enjoy the next chapter.
xxx


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Review #12, by Lillylover22 

9th March 2011:
everytime i say this is the last chapter i will read tonight. you make the chapter so damn interesting i have to read on!! 9/10 =]

Author's Response: Really? That's such a compliment! It makes me so happy :) I hope you like the next chapter too =D Thanks for the review, I'll try to update soon.

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Review #13, by SearchingForLuna 

3rd January 2011:
Well DANG. Way to leave a cliffhanger... :P

I just adore how Nellie's insults all involve food, such as:

He’s so stupid sometimes. What a flapjack.

^funneh.

Errr I can't review much for this chappie cause I'm too busy slavering for the next one. 10/10 :)

Author's Response: I do love cliffhangers ;) They're fun.

Yess, mine involve food cause i'm always hungry. always.

Haha, I hope you enjoy it & thank you so much for the review.

xxx


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Review #14, by Ignorance 

4th September 2010:
:O:O:O
Oh dear i think Nellie is in a tad of a pickle :S
i love how you interpreted Regulus and sirius's relationship, hit the nail on the head in my opinion.
Yet you still managed to add some humor in there (YAY!)
10/10

Author's Response: Yep she is :(
Aw? Really? Thank you so much! Their relationship just has so much depth and I love messing around with it.
and thanks, I'm glad you thought that :D
hope you enjoy the next chapter :)


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Review #15, by CessZ 

15th August 2010:
This was an amazing chapter...I never knew egulus was SO deep...I always thught him to a shallow Slytherin snob (i like the alliteration!)
Also Sirius getting hurt *sob*
*I'm pretty much obssessed with him*
Just an error I spotted:
"they wasn’t"
it should be they weren't

Can't wait to read more

~CessZ

Author's Response: Hehe, yep he is ;)
*joins in with sobs*
Haha.
Thanks a lot, I'll change that
I hope you enjoy the rest of the chapters :)
xxx


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Review #16, by katebabelovesharrypotter 

25th July 2010:
I just have to say that while I will always love Sirius more... Based on the chapter image he's hotter then Regulus and I can see the attraction of both brothers.

Author's Response: Yes! I agree! I'm glad you can see that & I'm glad you like the chapter images :D

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Review #17, by Myriad 

14th July 2010:
“Regulus growled, “I’d rather be hated for something I am than loved for something I’m not.” Regulus quoted.” This needs a comma between ‘I am’ and ‘than’ so it should read ‘I’d rather be hated for something I am, then loved for something I’m not’.

I like that Sirius is confronting his brother. A lot of authors tend to skip over or ignore the fact that the two are brothers and do/did live together. Obviously there’s going to be some unresolved anger there and it’s good that you’re acknowledging that.

Oh no! And just when Sirius was about to tell her he like likes her and everything. Stupid Regulus ruins everything. I hope they’re able to talk things over. I hope Sirius doesn’t jump to conclusions, but he’s a boy so he probably will. Ah! I’m a sucker for drama.

You still need to watch your tenses, your sentence structure and your grammar. Particularly comma and apostrophe placement.

Plot and story line wise this is really good. I love everything about it but the mistakes lol.

Good job!

Author's Response: I changed that.

Yes! I feel that with a story like this, that involves them both, this confrontation was unavoidable. Sirius brother was a huge part of him life. But he almost never crops up in most stories I read. I wanted this story to be different. Plus, I love Regulus character and I wanted Sirius to have that conflict in his life. He just wouldn't forget him, they may hate each other but they were still brothers after everything.

I love drama too ;) It's all good. It keeps the conflict going. Plus it'd be far too easy if everything came together in chapter ten ;)

Thank you so much.


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Review #18, by TallestTower 

11th July 2010:
OH MY UNCLE MERLIN'S FRILLY KNICKERS!
*Jumps up and down in a mixture of excitement, horror and hapiness*

That was the BEST ending! (Hmm, I seem to be a fan of the capitals today!) Ahh, if you could have seen my face. Wow, I want to write a coherent review but right now I'm in a somewhat gleeful shock mode...! Deep breaths Helen, Deep breaths. Whew.

Sirius and Regulus' fight was great. They were so angry at each other, but at the same time you could tell they were family and that they cared about each other. Sirius was so adorable, and I actually felt sorry for Regulus. At the beginning of the chapter I thought "That's it, I hate him!" And then towards the end of the fight I couldn't help but think how troubled he was. I love that you chose to use Regulus as a main character in your story, he is actually a very complex character and it must have been really hard for him to be left behind and have all the weight of his crazy pureblood family crushing down on him. So I feel bad for Reggie now :( But at the same time, Sirius was so lovely.

I'm glad Nellie intervened! Haha. I can just imagine her popping up from the desk.

“Where did you come from?” :D

She might have used Expelliahmooose (I can't spell, so I'm not even going to try) instead of accio though.

What I liked about this chapter was even though it was very dramatic, I thought the characters were still in character. Considering they are still young, I thought their dialogue was really fitting and I especially loved the characterization of Sirius in this chapter. Aww Sirius, my heart melted for him.

He was so sweet... and then he was reaching out to Nellie and then got crushed... and waah I just want to give him a big old hug.

Perfect cliff hanger ending :D
I think this is one of my favourite chapters so far. Really great! *Grins like a mad person* Although I have to say, I miss the marauders! *Accio James*

Thank you for posting!

Author's Response: Wo! :D

Capitals are good! And thanks! I couldn't resist ending it like that.

I'm so glad you liked the fight! I wanted them to fight, but not about Nellie, so I thought I'd chuck in some Death Eater love :D I know, I'm the same with Regulus, one minute you want to kill him, the next give him a cuddle.
I thought that was totally Nellie, just like going woah, and they're like, we didn't even notice you were in the room.

That's true, It never did cross my mind, but I wanted them in her hands, and that might disarm them, but I thought it might go flying and like Regulus would just go over and pick up his wand. I think that's my reasoning. I don't know whether that's canon cause I get mixed up from fanon, canon and the movies.

Thank you! I'm glad you thought everything was realistic.

I know, poor Sirius :(

I know, I miss them too, but it would be weird for them to pop up and go 'yo'! Not that I think people said yo in the 70's. Haha. But they're back, like next chapter i think for lots of lovelyness ;)

Thanks for the amazing review, you never fail to make me smile.


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Review #19, by HP FanFic Lover 

1st November 2009:
Sirius walked in when Nellie and Regulus were about to kiss!

Ughh, I want Regulus to be banished from the world!
BANISHED!

[=

Drama...!

Author's Response: banished eh?
he might not be so bad as you think...
;)


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Review #20, by vampire girl 1944 

9th July 2009:
GASP!!!
OH NO!!! OH NO!!! OH NO!!! OH NO!!! OH NO!!! OH NO!!! OH NO!!! OH NO!!! OH NO!!! OH NO!!! OH NO!!! OH NO!!! OH NO!!! OH NO!!! OH NO!!! OH NO!!! OH NO!!! OH NO!!! OH NO!!! OH NO!!! OH NO!!! OH NO!!!
THIS ISNT GOOD!!!
(obviously)
AH!!!
IM SO NERVOUS NOW!!!
how can nellie and sirius ever restore their relationship after this I ask you!!!???
well i guess ud probly know seeing as ur the author...
anwho!
ONTO THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!
btw-this is a fantastic story!!! I LOVE IT!!!
KEEP UPDATING!!!

~VAMPIRE GIRL 1944~

Author's Response: and it only goes downhill from here =O
or not.
to be honest, i may be the author, but things change so much when I'm rewriting, I've had to change my plans over ten times because new ideas pop into my head.

thank you. x


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Review #21, by lollipop_marauderette 

30th May 2008:
oh great.. this will turn out lovely. but that was a kick butt chapter

ROCK N ROLL

Author's Response: aw really? Thank you so much, i'm so glad you thought that. xx

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Review #22, by Ali Weasly 

29th May 2008:
Is regulus going to like RAPE Nellie??? Will he get that desperate?!

Author's Response: I don't think so, he loves her, in his weird way, he doesn't try to purposly try and hurt her (:

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Review #23, by JSB 073 

26th May 2008:
Scary argument... But then again-Whoa. She took what Sirius said the wrong way, huh? He likes her... he like likes her! And she's just friends. And Regulus just keeps coming back. He's getting pretty annoying.

Author's Response: I know. Haha, you made me giggle, Regulus is quite fustrating.

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Review #24, by magicked_ 

6th April 2008:
uh oh o_o
nicely written. i would write more, but i wanna see what happens :P

Author's Response: haha, thank you :]

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Review #25, by Wanda Lufanda 

31st January 2008:
Nellie why can't you understand what Sirius is thinking? Geez. You know nothing! ps- I ♥ U!

Author's Response: haha, you're right, she doesn't know much. xxx

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