25 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LunaTheDeathEater 

17th September 2009:
You know, I think Avrille is already impressing the hell out of Severus =P Haha.

Weee, the chapter of the day! THIS time, maybe I'll manage to read one chapter a day instead of five =P But since I've finshed my workload (which I'm fully capable of handling myself... xP) it wouldn't hurt to read one more chapter, would it? =D

Haha, it's starting to annoy me that every time I read an Avrille-chapter, I think of the girl I play together with in the orchestra xP It's so weird xD xP

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Review #2, by LunaTheDeathEater 

14th July 2009:
Hehe, poor Avrille has no idea what she's done wrong... Those two are gonna scare each other away. Good for me, not good for them and your story ;) =P

Professor Lockhart is funny in a stupid way =P He's so annoying, but at the same time I love reading about him just because he sounds so terrible! =P

Author's Response: As I've said numerous times, Lockhart is a literary gem. He's just too fun to write. I also liked writing him from a slightly more "adult" point of view where I could make him slightly seedy like Lucius (ok, Lucius is VERY seedy...but he's richer, so the seediness level is vastly proportionately increased.)

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Review #3, by Tameka 

26th March 2009:
Great chapter! Snape showed his true colours in this chapter and you did it very well. Good job. Am interested in Snape's version of his little outburst that deeply offended Avrille. :)

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Review #4, by Lolita 

12th March 2009:
Getting pretty good
I can't wait to see what happens next
I love Snape and Avrille!!! lol

Author's Response: Yay! I love them too! But I'm slightly biased :) Sorry that my replies are going to be a little late. I've been having a lot of really fun stuff *sarcasm sarcasm* happening at work lately so when I get home I'm pretty tired. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, though! It looks like you're almost at the end, so I can't wait to here how you like the story as a whole!

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Review #5, by LunaTheDeathEater 

8th March 2009:
Poor Avrille... If she'd just known. Severus has to get himself together soon, if he doesn't want her to be afraid of him! :p

Author's Response: Yes, poor Avrille...but if she knew she's probably be like, "Wha??" cause it wouldn't make sense to her that early on. And I doubt they could have gone that long without getting caught somehow. DOH! But yes, why does he have to be so scary all the time? But somehow, even in the books that just made me want to hug him and squeeze the scary out!

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Review #6, by SpringTime 

11th December 2008:
Another really good chapter. I like how you had her out of that herbology class, I was wondering how you were going to pull this off while still being in canon (although I realize that in later chapters it will be AU).
I also really enjoyed the last meeting with Snape, very believeable, exactly how I think he would react. :)

Author's Response: Thank you! I do have her in a canon class later in the story, so I'm going for more of the approach of "just cause Harry didn't mention her didn't mean that she wasn't there" ;) I guess I do a pretty good job cause a few readers have said that they've re-read "Chamber of Secrets" and felt like Avrille was just around the corner somewhere. I was pretty proud of that. Thank you again for reviewing!

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Review #7, by tyldari_archer 

20th October 2008:
Loving it. Moving on. 10/10 and more.

Author's Response: Yay! Thank you!!

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Review #8, by Georgia Weasley 

18th October 2008:
Oh, Severus, why can't you just be nice for once! I know, I know, because he's SEVERUS. He has to make life difficult for himself. I told you before, the distraction his thumb rubbing the twig caused for Avrille was just a delicious description. Those little details are part of what makes this story so readable. We are right there with Avrille in Snape' office, wishing he would give her one little ounce of praise for her efforts and admiring the way his hair falls forward when he tilts his head down---oh, sorry. I got a little distracted myself! Great job. And don't even get me started on Lockhart! So good!

Author's Response: Like you said, cause if he was nice, he wouldn't be Sevvy-kins! It was hard to make him so pissy in the beginning, but the last thing I wanted to do was to make him OOC. I guess it just makes it better when he starts to get nice later ;) Thank you for the review!!

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Review #9, by celticbard 

20th May 2008:
Renny, I'm absolutely in love with your fic! It's so wonderfully original, not to mention the prose is peppered with amusing little details and anecdotes. It's clear that you have thoroughly immersed yourself in Arville/Severus' world. Their back-stories and characteristics are perfectly fleshed out, I feel as though I am reading canon. Arville is an amazing OC, so full of life, determination and grit. I really felt for her during this last chapter, after Snape scolds her for restocking his supply cabinet. And yet, her ability to pick herself up and carry on is so refreshing.

Snape is likewise well-written. I really feel as though you are exploring his intricacies more thoroughly than Rowling ever did. He has a complex personality in this fic which is still in-tune with his character.

Needless to say, I'm thoroughly enchanted by this story. Excellent writing. I simply cannot wait to read the rest!

Best,
celticbard

Author's Response: Oh yay! I'm so happy you like it! Now do you see why I'm just dying to write some sort of TDoON/Consumed cross-over? I would just love to see Avrille and Freddy be BFF's! (and, yes, I used that teeny-bopper phrase on purpose to be all ironical and such.) Something about your story sort of reminds me of my own and my own writing style, so I think that's why I was so drawn into yours from the very first chapter and also why I am sooooo psyched to be your beta! Anyway, glad you like Avrille and don't think she's a Mary-Sue. People take to her different ways, so sometimes I get worried. Thanks so much for the review! *huggles and huggles!*

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Review #10, by Shellee 

1st May 2008:
It's nice to see her so helpful already. Mending the Whomping Willow. Of course, that tart of a Lockheart had to come along, hmm. Why did he come, if he wasn't going to do anything at all? Then again, it's rather obvious and just like him. I'm happy taht every professor seems to be so considerate about her not being able to do magic, it's nice. In a way, she already seems like she's at a new home.
It's not that nice that she had to miss her breakfast, but it was some necessary. I guess that certainly didn't help making up her mind about Harry.
I am wondering why Snape would be something with the twigs, though, of course it's for potions, but I haven't come across one that needed it, I think.
Poor thing, she doesn't need to feel so bad, he's just being an hormonal grouchy teenager, he loves her, really!

Author's Response: Hehehe...yeah, I like that scene where Lockhart just stands there like an idiot. I added him because in the "real" CoS book, Sprout shows up to Harry's class (the one that Avrille was supposed to observe), quite annoyed and with Lockhart in tow. :) And as for the twigs, that's just a little detail I made up. Since that seems like a sort of magical tree, I just figured there had to be a potion somewhere that could use some magic tree twigs! And Severus is such a grouchy little teenager...hehehe...oh the angst!

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Review #11, by gryffindorseeker 

18th April 2008:
C'mon Snapey! What was that about? That was very thoughtful of Avrille, so why the stroppiness? Well, Avrille, you show him what great apprenticing is all about. And maybe you'll fall in love along the way.

Very good chapter again. I want to smack Lockhart, but that means you're writing him well. And I totally agree about the mandrakes...I understand they were an important plot device for CoS, but isn't it dangerous to let 12-year-olds handle them?

I'm liking this story more than I thought I would...I hope that isn't a mean thing to say. I mean, I thought this was a hardcore romance story, sort of like Twilight. But it's so much better than that! There's humor and it's well written and well characterized. So yay Renny!

Author's Response: I know I know, he's so freaking cranky! But that's just his defense mechanism, I think. I also thought the mandrakes were a bit odd in CoS...I mean, why did it take until the end of the year to restore all of the petrified students? Wouldn't St. Mungos have a Mandrake Draught on hand? Oh well, I did my best to explain it in my own story...

And I totally understand about you not being sure if you'd like it...it's really hard to adequately summarize a long story like this in 600 words. It *is* primarily a love story, but it's a love story of two very intelligent, sarcastic people. So hopefully you'll find lots of other funny parts ;) And thank you SO MUCH for saying it's better than those "Twilight"-esque stories. Yay for me too!


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Review #12, by AnnaKay 

27th March 2008:
Well now she really is determined. It is so his character to freak when somebody was trying to help him out. I can see easily how he would react to that.

That poor Whomping Willow. It must have really been damaged bad. Again I like how you are weaving the two stories together. They fit really well together. Good Job!

Author's Response: Yeah, I always felt sorry for the poor tree, too. Maybe the fact that I listen to the wrock band, "The Whomping Willows" has something to do with that XD I worked really really hard to fit my fic seamlessly into CoS, so I'm glad you think it fits! Thank you a bunch!

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Review #13, by KaraBlack 

24th March 2008:
Yay! it wasn't something rash! (For a second I thought she was going to try and poison harry...) but then I realized how out of character that would be.

I haven't read Chamber of Secrets in a while, but you have rekindled my HATE for Lockhart. Seriously, I. Can't. Stand. Him. (fury within every word).

He's so...bothersome! lol, but its funny at the same time! loved the chapter and i can't wait to see how she will 'impress the hell out of him' :) 10/10

Author's Response: Yup, Lockhart is probably one of the most annoying characters ever created. I was amazed that Harry didn't just punch him in the eye in the book...but I guess he *would* have gotten in trouble for knocking out a teacher! I always sort of wondered if Dumbledore knew Lockhart was a total fraud when he hired him. I mean, hiring a man possessed by Voldemort one year, then Lockhart the next year...could he REALLY not find anyone better? Oh well, we'll never know how Dumbledore's mind truly worked I guess. Thank you for leaving a review for each chapter so far! I was not expecting it at all! XD

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Review #14, by Bella_Portia 

11th February 2008:
I loved the details about the mandrakes and how Prof. Sprout intended to use them with the different level classes. That showed how much thought you had put into the details of this story, and it adds so much enjoyment for the reader!

Same with the doctoring of the Whomping Willow. The detail that Prof. Sprout left the lower branches for Avrille in tactful consideration of her inability to levitate was a nice character touch.
And speaking of nice character touches, Gilderoy standing around talking, not lending a hand and worrying about getting ointment on himself – that’s our boy, all right.
The detail that Ollivander might use the WW wood for wands was a detail of that world that you invented (as far as I know) but that seemed very appropriate.


Miracle Re-grow – great name!

Author's Response: Thanks! I did all of those mandrake details to basically answer a question I always wondered: Why did it take the WHOLE school year to get the petrified students healed? I figured it needed an explanation so I thought of one :)

Oh Lockhart, how I love writing you even though I hate you so much!


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Review #15, by morgana67 

10th February 2008:
Poor Arville, not a very good day, first Lockhart and now Sevvy being rude to her again! Well, of course she doesn't realise yet why he is being like that. Silly Sev! I feel like screaming at him to stop pretending.

The feelings come across really well here.

Author's Response: Silly Sev indeed! Boys are so dumb around girls they like, huh? But he has a very good reason for wanting to push her away, besides the fact that he's just grouchy in general. You'll see why later, and all of this will make more sense.

Thank you for ALL of your lovely reviews!


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Review #16, by Girldetective85 

3rd February 2008:
Aw Snape is such a grouch. No wonder he never had a real girlfriend! Poor Avrille was just trying to help out. I think the descriptions of Lockhart in this chapter were impeccable. I just couldn't stop laughing whenever he showed up, especially when he nanced out the door to the Whomping Willow and when he checked out the bottle and thought about how badly it would stain his turquoise robes. Hilarious! I also like, once again, how you are filling in the missing moments from Chamber of Secrets and adding in a completely new character to see them. It's really cool. I enjoyed your version of their healing the Whomping Willow, although I think Avrille might have a hard time freezing that tree without any spells, pressing the knot has always been such a scary-sounding trial! I enjoyed this chapter as always! Next!

Author's Response: Tee hee! Severus is such a grumpy Gus! The reason he is extra cranky, though, is cause he doesn't want Avrille doing nice things for him. It would be easier on him if she was a horrible little apprentice who could make him pissed off so he wouldn't love her.

Ah Lockhart...always so much fun to write...I kind of left him out of the last 1/3 of the story, which is too bad. He really didn't have a purpose in it though. Oh well. I'm actually re-reading CoS right now and it's funny to get to these scenes because in my mind Avrille's just hanging out there in the background XD


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Review #17, by TheQueenofAttolia 

31st January 2008:
Great job. The Whomping Willow scene explains both why Harry saw Professors Sprout and Lockhart talking on their way to the greenhouses when he was going to class and why, if you are going for consistency with the books, Avrille wouldn't have been mentioned or noticed by the Gryffindors or Hufflepuffs.

It's almost agonizing watching Severus and Avrille irritating each other when we know they both have feelings for each other!

Author's Response: Well I was definitely going with consistency with the books, so you got it on the money :D

It is quite awful, isn't it? XD But I love writing sexual tension, so had a lot of fun with this part of the story. Woot! Thanks for the review!


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Review #18, by slytherensangel26 

30th January 2008:
you go girl! lol :0)

Author's Response: It's funny because you're reading it as I'm replying to your reviews. Funny how that happens sometimes...but I'm off to a forum now. I'll make sure to check back later if you read more! Thanks for reviewing every chapter!!

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Review #19, by evil little devil 

16th January 2008:
Wonderful! Lockhart again - you know I think I'd prefer to meet Voldemort than him. I love the way you describe Avrille's thoughts. They're so detailed it's almost like I'm there. She's so focused on whatever she's doing.

And you're still writing the characters so amazingly well. You seem to be very good at being inside the head of a character and understanding everything about them - at least the way you write them make's it seem like that. Brilliant.

I love his coldness towards her - he doesn't want her to know he's practically in love with her.

I was just wondering about one thing - since Avrille's studying to be a teacher, obviously one day she's most likely to become one. Wouldn't it be a bit dangerous to have a Potions or Herbology teacher who couldn't do magic? And most people probably doubt she'll get her magic back so I was wondering why the Ministry would allow it. What if there was a some small accident likea cauldron tipping over and the substance was about to poor onto a student - wouldn't it be a bit dangerous to have a teacher who couldn't stop that? What if the potion wasn't allowed to touch human flesh?

Keep up the good work - brilliant story.

Author's Response: "Lockhart again - you know I think I'd prefer to meet Voldemort than him" --Ha HA! I think I actually agree with you. Lockhart = *shiver*

I've been thinking about your question, which was a GREAT one, and I'm really not sure what would have happened had this whole thing ended without her having her magic and such in regards to her teaching. I think since she could *teach* the subject personally she could receive certification, but she probably would have had a harder time finding an actual job. I guess the only answer I can give you is that it's a story so I don't have a good answer XD Sorry! If you end up reading all the way to the end, you'll find out why this is no longer an issue for Avrille, for two different reasons. Thank you for the great questions, though!


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Review #20, by Breakaway615 

8th January 2008:
Even though the last chapter was short, I still liked it a lot. I love Severus so much--and you write him so well!

And I adored this chapter. I thought Lockhart was an annoying liar, which is always exciting. He was so ridiculous.

"I started slightly at his question since I had been strangely mesmerized by the way his thumb had been caressing the twig’s smooth bark." That line totally made me love Snape even more. It just sounded so... nice. Like, I can't explain it. But I know what I'm thinking.

Except, then you had to ruin my moment when Snape was having his hissy fit over Avrille's restocking of the student store. That killed everything. :D

Anyways, great job! I'm loving this fic so far!

Author's Response: Hahaha...hissy fit! Great description...loving it so much! Yeah, well, you know Snape, "When something unnerves me I get pissy!" I do also love that line about this thumb...I don't know why...I just think she'd be subconsciously thinking about something else at that moment, even if she didn't realize it yet :D

Lockhart is just the most awesome prat in the history of fiction. I made him out to be slightly seedy as well, cause um...I felt like it. I can't believe how many reviews you wrote! *squee!* I'm trying my best to write coherently here cause I just got home from work, but must finish reading these before I go to bed!!


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Review #21, by JLHufflepuff 

5th January 2008:
I've mentioned this before, but I just love how you go into detail about whatever subject Avrille happens to be working with at the moment. The way you record her thoughts about potting mandrakes is just ... interesting. It makes it sound like a real experience...

Aww.. I was just as disappointed as Avrille that I didn't get to observe the kids repotting the mandrakes ... Tending to the whomping willow just isn't as interesting - especially with Lockheart mumbling on ... He is such a caricature-ish character, so I always think the random adventures you have him describing are funny...

I also think it's cute/fitting that Avrille is so obsessed with Snape .. I can see that at this point it's infatuation/nervousness due to his credentials and imposing demeanor, not to mention that he's her superior and she needs to also please him with her work..

The scene in his office was just amazing. I can tell you are a Snape obsessee because even I am starting to think Snape is darkly sexy in this fic! hehe... I think this is mainly from the way you imply so much more under the surface with him... It leaves me all jumpy and wanting to know more about it...

I think it's sweet that Avrille restocked his classroom store for him. It was very thoughtful, and I think that it somehow affect Snape as well. It's my observance that men tend to like it when women are thoughtful with doing things for them since women usually expect THEM to do things like that. Anyway, I think you implied earlier that his coldness toward her is because he does feel some small something toward her and doesn't want to encourage it in any way... To me, the way he acted over her act of kindness seems like another example of that. I can't wait to read his perspective on this situation...

Author's Response: The reason I didn't really have Avrille go into the actual Herbology class is because I wanted to keep it as canon as possible, yet flesh out parts that JKR didn't go into as much. Like in CoS you read that Professor Sprout was a little late for class, and Lockhart was tailing her after "showing" her how to doctor a Whomping Willow. Well, now if you read the book again you can just assume that JKR forgot to put Avrille in :D Does that make sense? My point is that I wanted the insertion of her character to be as seamless as possible.

Oh yay, you're starting to catch the "Why the hell do I find Snape so SEXY?!" bug! It comes on slowly, but when it hits you: BAM! You'll find yourself writing fan fics about him...and, FYI, I like it be known that MY Severus has impeccable hygiene, thank you very much. He's just still insanely cranky and unpleasant.

"his coldness toward her is because he does feel some small something toward her..." --Um, yeah...that's putting it mildly...but I'm sure you can tell by now that he's pretty smitten. But you're definitely right in assuming that he is acting slightly more cold to her than he would, say, a male apprentice. However it's only a matter of time...*maniacal author laugh!!*


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Review #22, by nana_banana_xx3 

1st January 2008:
Well, I suppose you were right - her plan was that big of a deal, but still... I can't even imagine being reprimanded by Professor Snape. He would make me so very nervous! I liked your characterization of Professor Sprout, and Lockheart was marvelous per usual. Keep up the lovely work. :)

Author's Response: Thanks! I think I probably would have burst into tears if Professor Snape had said that to me. He's *so mean!* But, of course, we know why he's extra cranky :)

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Review #23, by Hermionesclass101 

31st December 2007:
I like how you had Lockhart do nothing, as that is what he probably did anyway. I also like how irritated Severus is at the mention of the damage and how confused she is by his coldness. I like the last line, because it seems like just the type of thing she would say. I liked this chapter a lot, and I still have 6 chapters to go, so 10/10

~Katie

Author's Response: Again and again, thank you a million times for your reviews! It was so tempting to make Severus nicer to her in the beginning, but knew that wouldn't be nearly as interesting. Therefore I forced myself to make him as unpleasant as general politeness would allow :) I also wanted Avrille to be a really strong character, and I figured that only a constant pushing from her would make Severus eventually loosen up. Oh well, since you're still reading you can tell me later how well I do on this...

I just added your pen-name to my favorites so I can check out some of YOUR stories the second I have some free time! I have a queue in my reviewing thread, so I *should* do those first, but I think I can fit one or two of yours in there! XD


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Review #24, by Oksanna88 

5th December 2007:
Another great chapter! Update soon! I wish I could write something more interesting, but I have no criticisms.

Author's Response: Thanks a bunch! Don't worry about not having anything interesting to write. The simple fact that you wrote something and that you like the story is enough for me!
~Renfair


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Review #25, by MrsSeverus 

3rd December 2007:
wow, i can't wait for more. i love how fast you update.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm actually going to upload a new chapter right now. The faster that HPFF validates me, the faster you'll get to read them :D

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