52 Reviews Found

Review #1, by rosie_sirius93 

21st January 2009:
Another fantastic chapter, I liked the exchange between Merope and Tom, it didn't seem over done or fake at all! Excited to find out more about Bethe parents and I like her name, very original! It sounds so beautiful!

Author's Response: Yes, Tom and Merope finally had an actual conversation! I thought it was about time for that :) And you will certainly find out a lot more about Bethe's whole history as the story continues.

 Report Review

Review #2, by sazel_c 

27th October 2008:
Wow, this is seriously good, I can see little snipits from JK's writing, but most from your origenal ideas. I really like this story. I think you're the only one who's written something like this, at least that I've seen so far. Brilliant job. Thank you for writing it, as I am enjoying reading it.


Author's Response: Yes I wrote everything in my own words but tried to keep it as canon as possible. If you see something that's too close to the books, please feel free to let me know! I'm glad this is the only story you've seen that goes in depth on Merope's story :) Originality was something I strove for when I wrote this. Thanks for your review!

 Report Review

Review #3, by savagebeginnings 

25th October 2008:
Hello again! Oh exciting! We get to see some nice fun drama unfold with Merope and Tom! It was a nice intense scene that I'm sure everyone has been waiting for! And Isabethe. That's such a pretty name! I don't know why, but the name Wilhemina sounds so familiar to me.

Not very much for me to critique in this! Overall, I like it! It gives us a nice look into the interaction between Tom and Merope and gives us some hope that maybe Bethe will finally find out where she's from!

Author's Response: They finally have a conversation! :) I hope everyone was looking forward to this scene, because I know I was excited to write it myself!

Glad you like the name Isabethe - I haven't ever come across anyone with that name but I thought it up one day because Isabelle and Elizabeth are two of my favorite names ever. Actually, I think they are versions of each other from different countries. Pretty names! Wilhemina is a pretty one too ... I'm not sure why it sounds familiar - I know it was a popular English name. Maybe you're thinking of Mina from the Dracula movie? :) I also know someone named Mina.

Glad you liked this chapter and thank you for your review!

 Report Review

Review #4, by Tor Petty 

14th October 2008:
How quaint Riddle and Merope's meeting; I wonder if it were chance, or if he planned it? I was so afraid that the incident with Morfin would cause the law enforcement to erase Riddle's memory of the whole episode and Merope would never get the chance to show him her violin! How sad. I'm glad it happened the way that it did, and they get to meet again.

I can't wait to find out about Bethe's parentage, also!

Author's Response: Tom didn't plan the meeting, it was by chance :) And I'm not sure about the whole law enforcement thing works when it comes to memories, but I would guess that to do the least possible damage, the Ministry would only erase the magical incident from a Muggle's memory.

Thanks again for the review! :)

 Report Review

Review #5, by shadowycorner 

6th May 2008:
Wouldn't Bethe recieve a Hogwarts letter when she was eleven if she is a witch? And even if her adoptive mother would possible dispose of it, wouldn't come another? Or was that only Harry's case? Anyway, this way it's getting even more interesting!! By the way, Isabethe...what a name! I've never heard of it. And it's good how you use the mentioned incidents in JKR's books and turn them into such great scenes.

The scene at the beginning of the chapter was really nice and also sad, especially the naive and misled Merope. It's strange to read something when you already know how it ends. You have this feeling of foreboding and you just wish you could somehow change something. Anytime I read a good Marauders story I insanely want it to change and end up differently. This is a similiar case. And wow about Tom. Not so arrogant, heh.

Still an amazing story. 10/10

Author's Response: Hey Liz! I think what happened with Bethe (I wish I could write all about her in the story and clarify some things) was that she did get a Hogwarts letter at the age of 11, but her guardian (who is a Muggle woman) refused to let her go and played it all off as a joke. Bethe was at that time already kind of "strange," and her guardian didn't want it to get any worse. I think this might have been the same case with Morfin and Merope, who didn't attend Hogwarts (at least not that I know of). The students and their parents are given a choice as to whether they should accept or reject the spot at Hogwarts.

Naive and misled is a great description for her! She's too focused on storybook romances and dreams of escaping her life to see what's in front of her.

It is kind of strange for me too! I'm writing this story and all my readers already know how it ends - Merope stops the potion and dies in childbirth, Tom is murdered by their son, and the boy becomes an evil wizard who haunts Harry Potter for seven years. LOL

Thanks my dear!

 Report Review

Review #6, by momotwins 

30th April 2008:
I have a nit to pick on this chap: Would a 1920s-era uneducated (though she now reads literature) witch like Merope use the word "biological"? I'd guess she's say "Then Lawney was your birth parents' name" or "true parents" (I know, not PC now, but it was how they thought back then - one of my g-gparents was adopted and that was the phrase back in the day). Anyway, relatively minor, but it jarred me from the story so I thought I'd mention it. The other nit is that "Lawner" is not capitalized in the letter from Orla Jones.

Poor Merope, she's so young and deluding herself about her crush, as so many 17 year old girls do. You describe her feelings so well, and so beautifully. And wow, a little peek at the hidden Marvolo. I like those, it makes you understand how she could want to name her son for her father, abusive though he was. And I meant to mention it before, but I love all the Morfin-snake references, hehe. The incident with the MLE official was perfect! And again, Bether intrigues me. I'm betting her parents weren't *really* killed in a boating accident.

Author's Response: Oh yes, yes, thanks for pointing that out - I guess I was stuck in 2008 mode when I wrote that because "biological" was probably not a common word. I'll replace it with "true" or "birth," or even "natural." Thanks so much, I hate anachronisms myself so I'll change it pronto!

The capitalization error is there for a reason ;)

Yes Merope is very, very naive, and very desperate as well. It's a really dangerous combination! I know, I was really curious that she had named Voldemort after someone who abused her and gave her such a miserable childhood - it couldn't always have been that way, I thought. But there will be yet another reason why she gives him the name "Marvolo" and I think it might be fitting...

 Report Review

Review #7, by morgana67 

25th April 2008:
I'm now really beginning to despair! This is the third review that crashes on me today!

Anyway, I really enjoyed this chapter. I can't remember if I mentioned before but I think it's clever how you worked out the significance of Merope's name. This detail escaped me completely in canon and it is just so fitting!

I really enjoy Bethe's story and since this is entwined with Merope's story because of the fact that she either made a prediction, or perhaps, she does actually make things happen (my bet goes for the later), so I don't think is irrelevant at all. I actually enjoy both their stories. You're very good at mixing up several people's personal stories.

Now, I really enjoyed the scene with the hexes. Now, the only comment I would made is that I would have thought that Tom would have been less friendly towards Merope, even if she is more educated and confident now, basically because all prejudice tends to die hard and her family are despised by everyone in the village. However, I thought that it was very plausible that he knocked on the door to borrow something he needed.

I imagine that Bethe's ancestry is going to be very relevant. I wonder if the stanged uncle may turn out to be a canon character. I'm not suspecting anyone specifically, though.

You really manage to keep me intrigued...

Author's Response: I'm sorry about your computer problems! I know how frustrating that can be. I've written enormous reviews before only to click the Submit button and realize that the internet has died on me. There's nothing sadder than clicking the Back button and seeing an empty review box where there were at least 200 characters before. *sniffle*

I love Merope's name! It's all due to JKR's genius. I swear, this woman is a gold mine of literary and mythological references that run rampant throughout Harry Potter. I bet if we researched each and every name, there would be some underlying significance that relates to the character. It's amazing the amount of research she has done! Okay back on topic ... yes, I looked up Merope's name and realized that she was named for a star in a constellation. When I looked at the story behind that constellation, I just thought it was so perfect that it had to be mentioned in the story itself. But all credit goes to JKR for naming her.

I'm grateful that you like Bethe and that you feel she is relevant to the plot! I hope to continue writing about her, but mostly the focus has shifted to Tom and Merope. There will be a fair chunk of Bethe in Chapter 10 as she travels to Ireland to meet her family, but farther than that, I need to keep planning.

I agree with you, I think Tom might have been a little bit too friendly - but she does seem relatively polite and normal compared to her crazy father and brother. Her family is feared by everyone in the village but mostly because of the two Gaunt men; not many people know about this girl and I think Tom's curiosity got the better of him regarding his attitude towards her.

Thank you very much for all of your reviews Morgana! :D Good luck with the computer situation! I heard you're getting a new one, so congrats on that!

 Report Review

Review #8, by Bella_Portia 

24th April 2008:
First, I like the characterizaton and the idea of Bethe. That said, I'm not sure I'm crazy about making her a witch. I liked her fine as a gifted, compassionate village herbalist. It also seems a little odd that a person might be magical, especially of so powerfully magical a family, and be virtually clueless up to so late an age. (For that matter, Hogwarts has been around since around 900 AD; shouldn't she have gotten an owl?) But I don't want to make an issue of something that it not a big deal. Bethe is a lovely character, witch or not. (And, since I've read ahead, I know you'll do great stuff with her.)

Second, I really liked the scene at the cottage. The violin was a nice touch. But the best part was the lovely way you combined the canon of Mischievious Morfin and his hexes with the detailed world you created. It was very well done, down to the boils, the body-bind, and the appearances of those guys from the MOM.

The meeting with Merope and Tom was delicate and believable. As I mentioned in the "elderlies" forum, I think you make Merope a bit more presentable than she seems to me in canon, but (1) that's just my opinion, after all; and (2) it's your prerogative to tweak the characters a little if you need to.

Third, I have to be one of those dissenters who was not that taken with Bethe's backstory. I kind of feel it might work better as a separate story. But, again, that's a matter of taste.

I still think this was a fine and very entertaining chapter.

Author's Response: That's all right, I understand your feelings on Bethe :) I think people are mostly divided either way; either you want to hear more about her or you don't. But I promise that she is very relevant to the story and that because I'm focusing on Tom/Merope, whenever you see Bethe, it will continue to be relevant to the main story.

She did receive a letter from Hogwarts but her guardian, who is a Muggle, refused to let her go. Probably they passed the whole thing off as a joke and Bethe didn't think too much of it, having been raised to try and be as "normal" as possible.

I'm glad you liked the Morfin scene! It was one of the parts of the story I looked forward to writing. I think fanfiction is a lot like cooking - you have the ingredients and you can put them together anyway you want. I took JKR's recipe and ran with it. I'm glad it turned out well for you! :)

I think she is a little bit more presentable too; less disheveled and more sane. But how much can we know of exactly what she's like from seeing her in one canon scene?

Thanks for your review :)

 Report Review

Review #9, by _DearMyLove_ 

6th April 2008:
Awh another awesome chapter. This is fast becoming one of my favourite stories on HPFF ^_^

I thought there was something about Bethe! So she’s a seer? I love the mystery surrounding her, especially about her parents and the boating accident. I’m inclined to think there’s more to that story than meets the eye…of course that may be complete rubbish…I guess I’m just going to have to carry on reading, aren’t I? Ooh the bit at the end about their last name…does that mean they’re not who she thinks they are? Ah the mysteries…^_^

The bit with Merope and Tom was lovely. I liked the way you set up their meeting. It was entirely believable that he would want to sort out the horse shoe quickly. I think just having him turn up would be too forced. Also when they were just…staring at each other, it was so cute! I love ‘moments’ like that. Although, I’m still wondering whether Tom’s just curious about their life…I find him a bit difficult to fathom at the moment. Not sure whether he’s interested in Merope at all or not. I guess he’s just curious.

And then Morfin attacked! Evil Morfin, destroying their moment…*grumble* It was sort of confusing when the wizards from the Ministry came…everything sort of happened all at once in quick succession, but in a way it was also quite refreshing to have some action after the calm of the rest of the chapter.

Just one teensy thing…I’m not sure about the 1920s, so correct me if I’m wrong, but I found it slightly unbelievable that Bethe could go to an orphanage claiming to be herself and get papers without proper identification. Of course it could just be a rubbish orphanage…lol ^_^

Once again, lovely chapter. This story is a brilliant addition to the archive! ^_^

Author's Response: Yay!! Thanks for coming back :D

Yep there is a great deal about Bethe's background that needs to be fleshed out eventually; I'm trying to find a good balance and explain about who she is without straying too far from the "real" story (Tom/Merope).

I loved writing that scene between Tom and Merope because it was their first scene together where they actually spoke! I honestly hadn't planned on having him come so soon actually, but the idea that Apollo had thrown a shoe just jumped into my head and Tom Riddle came knocking! ;) And you're right, he is just a little curious about them ... he's especially intrigued by Merope who seems relatively normal compared to her weirdo family. The Gaunts are a subject of much speculation in the village and I don't think anyone has seen them so up close in a long time. :)

Boo Morfin! Yeah I think the Ministry just freaked out after detecting his attack and rushed to the scene of the crime. They had to make sure the Muggle was okay and to erase his memory immediately.

You're probably right about the orphanage ... she might have needed some form of identification! I'm not sure how security worked back then and especially at an orphanage. I suppose it was okay just to tell her who Bethe Lawney was; if she had been adopting a child, she would most likely have been required to show credentials or something.

Thanks again hun!

 Report Review

Review #10, by hogwarts_witch 

31st March 2008:
Wow. Another amazing chapter! I would have to say that this is one of the best stories I've read here on HPFF.

Anyway, there were no mistakes such as spelling or anything like that from what I could see. This chapter was fantastic.

My favorite part would have to be the entire scene were Tom and Merope are talking to one another. I loved that! Especially when Morfin attacks; I thought you did an excelent job on that.

Sorry I can't really give you any suggestions on how to make your chapters better but, in my opinion, your story is perfect. It's one of my favorites :)

Author's Response: Thank you SO much :) I have a really big stupid grin on my face. I'm really happy that you're enjoying the story so much! It makes it that much more fun to write, with such a nice supporter :) I was excited to write the Morfin scene; it's been one of the things I looked forward most to writing besides the love potion. But of course he had to do it when Tom and Merope were getting to know each other! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story and thanks so much for your feedback, hun.

 Report Review

Review #11, by Echo95 

25th March 2008:
That was awesome! I never realized that she would go and do that!

Author's Response: Thanks Echo! You mean Merope saving Tom from her crazy brother? :) She does love him - also, she knows that Morfin would probably treat Tom like one of his snakes if left to his own devices.

 Report Review

Review #12, by greylady_Ravenclaw 

24th March 2008:
No! Morfin is so mean. He should just have stayed perched on that roof, and let Merope and Tom have their moment! I can't believe he would abuse Tom that way... well actually I can, but he still shouldn't have. It's a good thing that the locket kind of talks to Merope or she wouldn't have been able to save him like she did.

It's great that Bethe found out a little about her parents and her past. I can't read more of this story. I would read it tonight, but I have to take my contacts out and I'll be blind without them. xD

Oh and just so you can edit this, in the letter Bethe's parent's last name wasn't capitalized. I noticed that when I was reading through it. Another Great chapter! 10/10

Author's Response: Haha he is such a psycho! Of course he wouldn't have let his sister associate with a Muggle so he just had to go and ruin their special moment! He's a twisted, loony sort of weirdo, and he partly attacked Tom because he is a Muggle and partly because he knows that Merope likes him. Morfin likes to hurt people/things that other people care about, much like his father - although Marvolo does have more of a heart than he does.

Aha, the locket ... good thing it's always there to help Merope and give her advice. It has a private agenda all its own for doing so, though...

Haha no problem! I'm really glad that you like the story so much :) Hope you enjoy the rest! (Oh and by the way, I know about that capitalization mistake and it's going to stay there... you'll see ;) Thanks my dear!

 Report Review

Review #13, by marauder_lover 

23rd March 2008:
Ooh, I really liked this chapter. I really like your writing, it's very full, there are no plot holes and it's really interesting to read other than some other stories on here. It's more than just speech, it's description, feeling and action too, and the balance is great and I just wanted to say that cause it's so much more fun to read.

I like that the whole Merope/Tom situation is developing and I'm starting to like Tom's character, he seems nice, which is always good. Merope is coming into herself and I like how you have written it. Plus, the Morfin attack, that's part of cannon right? That's why that bloke goes to see them in the pensive, yes?

I also like the Bethe sub-plot, it's great to read as it has depth and relevance to the story. And I really do want her to find out more about her past, you make the reader care about your characters!

Great chapter, love your writting!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for being so nice :) I put a lot of effort into my writing and I really, really love to do it, so it means a lot that you're enjoying it!

Tom is a good guy but he's got a few drawbacks - he's very sheltered, ignorant and snobby due to his upbringing. He's also a little full of himself. But he isn't evil in my story, that's for sure!

Yep exactly, the Morfin attack was in canon but it was never shown in the books. The only mention of it was when Harry and Dumbledore looked into the Pensieve and saw Bob Ogden visiting the Gaunts, getting ready to warn Morfin of his hearing at the Ministry because he attacked Tom. I've always wondered about that scene and since this is a story about Merope, I thought that night should be shown in full detail here. :)

Well thank you, I'm glad that you care about the characters! :) I don't think there's a better compliment than that. Thank you so much for all of your feedback, I appreciate your opinion a lot! :D

 Report Review

Review #14, by AnnaKay 

19th March 2008:
I like how you split the chapter into two different sections, with the Tom/Merope stuff in the beginning and then Bethe and her look for her parents.

Good chapter, it was interesting, expecially using the curses and counter-curses.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm going to be switching viewpoints very frequently through this story; it works for some readers and doesn't for others. Glad you liked it because I love doing it :) The curses that Morfin used were canon, but the counter-curses were my own creations. I think I'll put something in my author's note about that, now you've reminded me! Thanks :)

 Report Review

Review #15, by Gords7015 

3rd March 2008:
Wow, another great story. I like how you've taken the shards that we get from the books about Tom and Merope and really expanded it and made it so much more full and vivid. Of course, there still is the issue of the practical manner of why Bethe never got her letter (JKR has said that owls can find anyone and therefore she ought to have been invited to Hogwarts). Maybe her adopted parents didn't let her.

Anyway, good chapter and nice work!

Author's Response: Hello again! :)

Thank you very much for your kind words. It's been a joy to put my own spin on this very minor character and her story, and I'm excited that you've enjoyed reading it!

I'll try to be clearer about Bethe and her Hogwarts letter - what I imagine is that her adoptive mother received the owl and got a visit from Dumbledore or McGonagall (whoever visits Muggle parents), and decided to refuse to send Bethe to school. Her mother was already very nervous when Bethe began to display her "unique" talents at a young age and wanted to have nothing to do with anything odd or extraordinary. I'll try to clarify that and add something explanatory.

Thank you very much! :D

 Report Review

Review #16, by luvdraco87 

29th February 2008:
Another chap and another great read.

I really loved it,

Author's Response: Glad you loved it, thank you Constance :)

 Report Review

Review #17, by CharmedOne 

17th February 2008:
Again, a great chapter - although in the letter from Orla, I noticed a grammar mistake - you didn't put a capital L for Lawney, but that can easily be fixed. I really like the scene where Tom was attacked, I've always been curious about that scene - and I'm impressed how you're really sitcking to canon by showing this part of Merope's life, and even the date of the letter is right. The only thing I'm not sure about is how Bethe obtained her records from the orphanage so quickly, I thought it was very difficult to obtain those types of things - but it might have been different in the early 1900's - I'm not sure. Still great - onto the next chapter!

Author's Response: Woo-hoo! Thanks for all of these reviews, it's so wonderful to hear that you're enjoying my story! :)

Good catch on that grammar mistake. You readers sure keep me on my toes! I'm not going to change it though. :D No, no, I'm not being mean and stubborn ... there is a valid reason, just keep on reading and you'll see. ;)

I know! I have been curious about that scene too! I wasn't even planning for Morfin to attack Tom just then; I just had Tom come to the Gaunts' house and miraculously it just popped out of my head and onto the computer screen. :D I do like the way it turned out, so I'm glad that you like it too!

Yep I am a stickler for canon, everything has to fit - characters, dates, dialogue, births and deaths. If things don't fit, it's just not realistic, you know? I took a leaf from JKR's book in this one - for a woman with an immense imagination full of the tiniest details, she sure fit them all together well and with few mistakes!

Mmm you're right about the orphanage documents ... I think today, it would definitely be a lot harder to get information without first giving some kind of proof of identity. Back then, it may have been different ... not sure, I will look this one up.

Thank you Charmed! I haven't forgotten about that owl about posting my story, I'll send one to you right now. :)

 Report Review

Review #18, by Rebekka 

14th February 2008:
You are evil, you know that. I almost commented on the _l_ on the letter... and then you say it's supposed to be that way, and there's been other things. I read very carefully for some odd reason, and I see easily these inconsistencies... yet, I haven't been able to find any while reading this. Every time I think I find one, you use it. You'll explain it some way, and I can only say... wow, I didn't see that coming. *laughs* It's marvelous to be able to read a story like that. You never waver. Never.

I've printed every chapter out, reading on my lunch break, reading while in the bus, reading in the toilet (yes, sorry about that mental image)... I love your words, and you never bore me. I just can't stop wanting more. I adore Merope... and I somehow feel for her and Tom, although I still think Tom isn't good enough for her. And I feel so sad because I know it's not going to be pretty. But can it be? For a short moment? I think he would have fallen in love with her on his own. I don't know why Merope chooses to use the potion. Maybe because she's afraid that it could never be real. I don't know. I must read on to find out.

Gosh, I love your words. There are a few authors on this site who can do this to me. You are one of them. You lure me in every time, making me want more. I love every word, every paragraph, every chapter... This is just one truly amazing story. Oh, and in my earlier review, I didn't mean it was a bad thing that Merope learned magic quickly. I thought it was very logical... and I found it very interesting that you chose to use that... It's hard to explain but I believe in the power of good will. If you show mercy to people (I'm not religious, by the way), they seem to grow to their true height. ^_^ That's why I was very intreguied by it. ^_^ Thank you for writing this amazing story. It's truly unique.

Author's Response: *sinister laugh* I love my details! I'm super anal about every little detail being right and fitting with everything else. Good eye for picking up on the "mistake" - I think only you and one other eagle-eyed reader have found that "error." :) Or at least you guys are the only ones who mentioned it to me.

HAHAHA that's ok, I read things on the toilet too only you are brave enough to admit it right up front like that. :D I'm glad Merope could keep you company even in the bathroom HAHA. I'm so proud and pleased that you printed the story out and have enjoyed reading it enough to bring it with you!

Can it be happy for just one moment? Hmmm ... I could be evil and say something like "maybe, I don't know" but I won't! I'll say this instead: every life has one moment of pure happiness; the more blessed the life, the more moments there are. ;)

I completely agree with you on that, I think there's a lot to be said for friendship. I know there have been times in my life when friends helped me pull through some tough spots. I don't think it's too far-fetched to assume that the same thing happened for Merope, and I'm glad you agree with me! :) :) I love your reviews, they make me smile and brighten my day! And there's another one to read, oooh... thank you sweetie!

 Report Review

Review #19, by Urvi 

14th January 2008:
Wow, that was my favorite chapter so far.

Author's Response: Haha awesome! I'm so glad! :)

 Report Review

Review #20, by subtle_plan 

8th January 2008:

I don't know what to say: It was brilliant as usual.

Oh, but I found a typo! Took a good bit of searching, but Tom says "I rode to Great Hangleton today to have it rehaired" at one spot :P Haha, I knew no one was flawless. But you're writing is as good as: the flow is perfect and the plot in magnificent. I love your style of writing, and I love the way the dialogues are less modern day and actually portrays the time Merope and Tom are living in.

Amazing job, as usual.


Author's Response: Hello again! I'm sorry to be slow but I just can't figure out what the typo is in that sentence you pointed out. Tom was talking about getting the violin bow rehaired - as in, putting new horsehair onto it. Did you think I meant to write "repaired"? :) Maybe I should change that, I'm not even sure about "rehaired" being a word, I just always used it for years. Hmmm... thanks for letting me know!

I appreciate the review once again, you're so darn nice! I'm getting spoiled! :P

 Report Review

Review #21, by pandadude 

8th January 2008:
-- reviewing as promised --

I adore your story *adds to favorites* :D

It's well written and this ship is surprisingly cute and enjoyable. There were no problems that I had with your chapters except maybe that it seemed to move very fast from Tom hating Merope to him talking to her. :P

Otherwise that small thing, well written thoroughly enjoyable!
Good job!

Author's Response: Hey! :) Thanks so much for coming by and for favoriting!! I'm sorry it moved too fast for you, but I just wanted to point out that Tom never hated Merope - he didn't even notice her before. He doesn't even really hate her father and brother, he considers them beneath him, you know? But I'm glad you liked it! Thanks! :)

 Report Review

Review #22, by Breakaway615 

6th January 2008:
That was such a lovely chapter! I especially loved the ending when Bethe went back to her orphanage to find out more information about her parents. I would think that Orla Jones would be dead, as she said she was old in her letter, so Bethe probably could not find out anything from her. Perhaps someone else knows something?

I loved the whole scene with Tom and Merope. I truly wished that Morfin hadn't jumped it--that was quite frightening, actually. But I did like the wizard that treated Tom. He was kind of funny. :)

I noticed one thing in this chapter that I would like to correct (I think this has been the only thing I've found in all I have read! Well done!):

"Five days prior to this letter, the late Alfred and Wilhemina lawney lost their lives in a tragic boating accident."

'Lawney' should be capitalized! That's all! :)

Excellent job! I look forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hello again! Well thanks! Glad you're enjoying the Bethe subplot, and about Orla, Bethe is going to that village to see whether she is alive or not. And to answer your question yes, Orla does have descendants so they would definitely be able to tell Bethe about her past should Orla be unable to.

As for the Morfin jumping off the roof, that's how I imagined that he attacked Tom! It was never specifically stated how in the book, but I imagined him spying on the "hateful Muggle" and then just going crazy and sending spells everywhere, the hexes and jinxes that Marvolo sees fit to teach him.

As for the capital letter ... I know about that error. ;) Good eye!!

Thanks so much! :)

 Report Review

Review #23, by chocolatesoccerballs 

3rd January 2008:
This was good as it felt like the main part of the story has begun to take off. There was one point there when you mention the orphanage though you call it by a different name "I have to go back to that orphanage in Oberline." everywhere else you call it Haymouth. I am not sure if that is correct or not, but to me it seamed that the name had changed for an unknown reason. Other than that, another great chapter

Author's Response: I agree with you, things are beginning to happen! When I write a story, I think of the game of dominos - I set everything up first: plot, characters, situation, settings, and then once everything is in position, that's when the action starts to happen. A lot of people don't like this style, they like the action to happen right away, but I love having a richer background with elements here and there and then later on, it'll be like "Whoa! I remember that back in Chapter 1, so THAT was what it was for!"

Thanks so much for pointing that mistake out! I think I meant to name the orphanage Oberline, and then have it set in a city called Haymouth, but I messed up and got confused myself. Sorry about that, I'll fix it! :)

 Report Review

Review #24, by severus_lover 

2nd January 2008:
^_^ well im speechless. this story is absolutely addicting!!! im begining to wonder who Bethe's parents are. Morphin is quite the little psycho aint he lol.Merope is a tad bit foward to me lol imean i inda see her as extemely shy and even though she's changin i would still see her avaoiding eye contact and blushin and such but thats jus me. Dont know what else to say except CHAPTER 6 HEREI COME lol

Author's Response: Thank you dear! You will find out about Bethe's parentage in the last chapter, and it will explain a bit about her background and who she is. Morfin is totally insane, he's so fun to write but at the same time I'm excited to get rid of him! lol

Oh okay, thanks for pointing that out! She's definitely gaining a lot more confidence but I'll be sure to keep her from being way too bold. It's just that she knows that she and Tom are destined to be together, so she feels like she knows him well already and that's why she's so forward with him. Thanks!

 Report Review

Review #25, by Renfair 

27th December 2007:
Awesome chapter again! There were a few things that I specifically liked:
-"It was like music rolling off his tongue, the three syllables like a flowing triplet in the middle of a half-forgotten song..." (this line is really beautiful. I also didn't know the story behind Merope's name (did you make that up or was it perhaps in the Lexicon?) so that was really cool too.)
I LOVED this:
'"You are the Muggle, then?"
Tom looked up at him blankly. "I beg your pardon?" he said haughtily.
"Excellent."' (That cracked me up for some reason.)

The exchange between Merope and Tom is really sweet, and Merope's unwavering hope that Tom will fall in love with her is just too sad for words. Morfin's attack was brilliantly written, very fast paced and action packed.

This is something I noticed because it's a bit of a coincidence with my own fan fic: (Bethe says) "I used to think that I caused these things to happen." I seriously have almost the exact same line in my own story, because my OC had prophetic dreams as a child. I guess great minds think alike!

As always, 10/10. Awesome story!!

Author's Response: Hahaha I laughed while writing that part too! I liked my Ministry officials, I always picture them as these jolly little men with a kind of dry sense of humor. They don't exactly look down on Muggles, they just kind of have this benevolent, amused, affectionate attitude towards them.

Oh thank you for the compliment on that line! And to answer your question - nope, I did not make up the story behind Merope's name. Merope is an actual part of Greek mythology; she was the dimmest star in a constellation because she married a mortal instead of a god. That's why JKR gave her character the name Merope, because she has a parallel storyline - except of course, Merope Gaunt marries a Muggle instead of a wizard. The names she chooses for her characters are really, really clever. (Going off topic but apparently, the name "Harry" means commander and the name "Ronald" means advisor to the king. How weird is that? And it would be even weirder if she hadn't planned it!)

Whoa! That's one crazy coincidence! Well we're definitely on the same story-writing wavelength, I guess! :D Sounds like a great story, I hope it's the one you put in my request thread!

Thanks again for another great review! :)

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login
Add a Review
<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>