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75 Reviews Found

Review #1, by silver ink 

28th March 2010:
I'm mesmerized. That's all I have to say. Easily one of the better fanfics I've ever read, and this is only chapter 3. 10/10 :)

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Review #2, by _Maya_ 

29th July 2009:
This story is so beautifully written I can't believe it's your first. The juxtaposition of Bethe's happiness in living completely oblivious to her magical powers and Merope's early misery from believing herself a Squib is brilliant! I predict that the differences between the two will eventually seperate the two. Guess I'll just have to keep reading to find out. ;)

Author's Response: Thank you very much! It was my first fanfic and I know it's rusty but I'm so grateful that you're enjoying it. I hope you'll keep on reading and enjoy the rest! :)

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Review #3, by rosie_sirius93 

21st January 2009:
Another great chapter! I liked the change in Merope because Bethe is helping her. Is Bethe a witch? Or can she just make predictions? I thought that your prophecy was perfect, it was interesting but not overdone or unbelievable!
10/10
;D

Author's Response: Mmmhmmm I'm glad you're picking up on the fact that Bethe's a little ... different. As for the prophecy, I tried to follow along the lines of the ones that were in the books. Glad you didn't think it was too overdone or overdramatic!

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Review #4, by sazel_c 

27th October 2008:
Wow, I really like this. I'm really keen to see how you've written this. I wrote a one shot called our last hours in my collection named hate, trust and love, feel free to check it out. It's a scene between Merope and Tom Riddle SR.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like this story so far :) Thanks for the review!

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Review #5, by savagebeginnings 

25th October 2008:
Hello again! Well this is interesting! I had a feeling that Bethe had some magical qualities when I read that she made potions, and I was right! I'm really loving the friendship that's developed between Merope and Bethe. It shows so much about Merope. How she's such an intricate character! And Bethe brings out so much more in Merope. They really are a great combination!

I didn't see any glaring grammar or spelling mistakes so that made this a much easier read. And overall, I really like where this is going!

Author's Response: Good guess on Bethe! She's definitely got magical qualities - I think it's why she and Merope click, and also why she is so successful at what she does. I'm glad you like the friendship that has built up between the two women, because it will become very important as the story continues on.

I try to be really careful about spelling and grammar! I don't like reading stories that are full of errors, so I try to proofread mine as carefully as possible. Thanks for your review!


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Review #6, by Tor Petty 

14th October 2008:
Oh my gosh. This is developing quite nicely!

Can I make a prediction? Lawney... the prophecy... it seems an awful lot like Trelawney, doesn't it? Don't answer. I'm just musing...

Author's Response: Good guess! You probably know by now since I see more reviews from you :) Thanks for the review!

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Review #7, by ButterflyRogue 

4th May 2008:
The descriptions of Merope's fantasies are so beautiful... So real... The parallel with Romeo and Juliet was very well placed!
And it seems as if Merope just needed some encouragement!
Well done on Marvolo's narrow minded comments! He is really the way I have imagined him to be. You've made me feel the tiniest bit sorry for him... And you've also made me want to know more about Merope's parents!! Any chance for you to "explore" up the family tree some more? ;)
So, Bethe is a Seer? Interesting... She will be very relevant to the plot, I presume --- not only as Merope's encouragement and mentor. I know I've said this before, but you've given such depth to the events preceding Voldemort's birth! I can't wait to find out how is everything going to tie together in the end!

Author's Response: Haha yes, Merope is very influenced by melodramatic romantic works like "Romeo and Juliet," whose theme of star-crossed lovers will be somewhat similar in Merope's own story.

I don't really feel bad for Morfin, but I guess it's not his fault he's crazy and narrow-minded. He has been raised that way, and the Gaunts have been intermarrying for generations, which keeps the insanity in the family.

Yes, I will be exploring the family tree a bit more, especially with regard to Merope's father and mother and their little backstory. It's actually going to have a ton of significance in the way that Merope's own story turns out.

And yep, you've guessed it - Bethe is very relevant and you'll see her importance as you go on.

I can't wait to find out how everything ties together too! I've got all the pieces, I just have to make them all end well together. :)


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Review #8, by momotwins 

30th April 2008:
Ooooh Bethe is very interesting. How did she get missed by Hogwarts if she has magic? I like how you portrayed her having the vision, you can see why Sibyl Trelawney thought she must have dozed off when she made hers! Great work again on this chappie :) Merope changed so fast I thought Bethe might be casting confidence spells on her or something. I'm interested to see what makes her revert back to the abused and beaten down state that Bob Ogden finds her in.

Author's Response: She didn't get missed by Hogwarts; my thinking is that she received a letter and a visit from one of the professors, but wasn't allowed to go by her Muggle guardian. I think they might have passed it all off as a joke and Bethe's guardian was especially eager to do so because the little girl was already so ... odd. :)

Hahaha no confidence spells! Just friendship. It makes a world of difference to Merope when she realizes that someone at least cares for her.

Thank you!


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Review #9, by celticbard 

29th April 2008:
Ah, I finally have the time to read the next chapter of this story! You reeled me in with the first two and I've been dying to continue.

I really loved the subtle change in Merope's attitude. It seems like she is finally, truly growing up and learning to think for herself. And I certainly think she is capable of great independence and daring-qualities that her son would later inherit.

I also thought the prophecy was a nice touch. It was not at all overdone but appropriate, believable.

Anyway, I truly enjoyed this chapter, girldetective and I cannot wait to read the rest of this fic.

Best,
celticbard

Author's Response: Thanks celticbard! :) I'm happy that you've caught on to Voldemort's qualities in his mother; I've tried to keep them in mind and instill them in his parents and I think you'll see more of him in Tom and Merope as we go on. Glad the prophecy wasn't too overdone for you! Thanks for your review :)

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Review #10, by morgana67 

25th April 2008:
This is getting extremely interesting. So Bethe has powers to see the future, or the present perhaps. I had an incline before that she may be a witch.

I love the way you describe the scenes, Marvolo, Morphin etc what they do and so forth. Now, I remember you mentioned before that some people thought your language was a bit too old for the period. I don't really think it's the language but perhaps the mention of ballrooms etc. It sounded a bit more like the 19th century to me. Well, there were flappers etc in London but this is the countryside so, I'm not too sure here but, mind you, I'm not an expert on this either.

I always thought, like you, that there was more to Merope than it met the eye, that she could do magic better if she gained confidence.

I love how you are making her read romantic novels. This is very good in a way but also, I'm beginning to fear that that is going to put fancy ideas into her head because, sadly, we do now what the end will be.

Very nicely written again.

Lovely story!

Author's Response: I know, I think I'm pushing the time period a little too far ... there should be flappers and gangsters but I just wanted a kind of idyllic countryside village/town that's stuck in the old ways and might be a bit more traditional than people in the city. Might be a stretch though :D

I know, you had a wonderful guess that Bethe was a witch :) Turned out right! And yes, I'm afraid Merope is going down the Don Quixote route - getting too many ideas from books!

Thanks Morgana :)


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Review #11, by Chappe 

13th April 2008:
Ah, a hint of a fluff chapter lingers! This was a well crafted chapter, Girldetective. It was simple, clean, illustrious in detail, and provided just enough perspective to each of your story's settings that I was comfortable as a reader.

The only little, eensy, weensy flaw was this--

*"Everything was a lie!" she had shouted, taking off her wedding band and throwing it at Marvolo. "This isn't real, none of it! It's all just a sham, a hideous farce!" The next day she and all of her possessions disappeared. That was the day Marvolo began to drink."

The transition from memory to dialogue was a bit rough for me here. It was an automatic JUMP before building gradually into it and having Merope's intense emotions spill here. It still had a good flow, however. My heart just jumped a bit when I read her sudden reaction after the calm memory that came before it.

This piece was very, very well written, Girldetective. I see such potential in a writer in you that it scares me that JK Rowling herself doesn't leave you little reviews crying for you to write more xD (No seriously

Author's Response: Yeah it was a bit fluffy! :) Some readers were telling me that the story was moving too fast, without giving enough time for the characters' thoughts and feelings, and I really wanted to expand on Merope's past a bit.

The transition was too rough? Thanks for telling me! :) Just to clarify though, that entire segment is Merope's memory and the woman speaking in that paragraph is her mother, so Merope's still thinking to herself.

Wow thanks so much for your kind words :) I really don't know what JK Rowling would think about this story, but I'd die a happy woman if I knew an author like her had ever even read anything of mine. She might be offended since I'm taking a lot of liberties with her characters but I hope I've at least done Merope's story a little justice. :) Thanks for all your reviews Chappe!


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Review #12, by Potter_fan 

10th April 2008:
I loved it. it was simply perfect. It looks like you've done a lot of research and hard work while writing this fic...I think it's a brilliant piece of fanfiction. It's almost like I'm reading somehting out of JKR's ...or some very experienced author's work. I wish I had all of this in a book form so I could snuggle up with it in my bed xD It's sort of uncomfortable sitting and reading it on screen, lol.

Oh and I also like your idea of including a chapter-related quote in every chapter.

I didnt know Merope was pronounced as "Me-ro-pee"...I like "Meh-rope" better!

You seem like a professional! Ths fic's so full of reality and thrills and...is just plain awesome. 10/10

Author's Response: Hey hey! lol Thanks for yet another kind review, and thank you for saying that about my research. :) I have worked extremely hard on this story to make it as authentic and engaging as possible and it's pretty much become a part of me now, which sounds kind of weird but is true. I've put so much into it and I really feel like Merope and I are kindred spirits, that I almost know her inside and out. It'll be very painful for me when the story is over! :( (I can't even imagine how JKR felt when she finished Harry Potter.)

Haha I wish you had it in book form too, snuggling in bed with a book is my favorite thing to do. You can always print it out if you like - one honest reviewer actually told me that she printed out all of my chapters and read them on the bus, at work, and on the toilet! *dies laughing* I love that girl. Anyway yeah, that's def an option for you. ;)

And yes, Merope is three syllables ... I would have thought it was just "Meh-rope" too but remember Greek names like Penelope, Hermione, Daphne, Persephone all have that last "E" sound. I didn't like the name at first but it's growing on me. :)

Thank you very, very much. I hope you enjoy the rest if you decide to keep reading and I just appreciate your feedback so much.


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Review #13, by _DearMyLove_ 

30th March 2008:
So Bethe’s a seer? Wow, interesting…but she doesn’t know she’s a witch? Ooh that’s awesome!

Once again, I can’t find anything wrong with this chapter. You’ve got a sort of Austen-esque style to your writing, which goes really well with the time period you’re writing about. It just flows so well and I can tell every little detail, every back story, has been very carefully planned out.

I especially liked the flashbacks to Merope’s life when Mrs Gaunt still lived with them. It’s quite…odd…to think of the Gaunts being a happy family, but it’s odd in a nice way! :D I saw this sentence:
But why did she remember another Christmas when the cottage was dark and cold, when she and her brother huddled together in a corner and watched their parents screaming at each other.
I was wondering if it should have a question mark at the end, because it begins with ‘why’ indicating that it is a question…but I don’t really know ^_^

Oh and this bit was so funny!
"Animals don't have blood, only humans do! That's just the potion that makes them live, put there by the great wizard in the sky. You know, he's an ancestor of ours, he is."
It really showed how completely stupid Marvolo is…and I loved the ancestor bit! That man is so obsessed with family connections! :D

Really, really amazing chapter. It didn’t move too fast or too slow and revealed just enough to make it interesting, and was basically perfect. I really cannot say how much I’m enjoying this story! :D :D
xxx

Author's Response: Hi again! :) Bethe has been adopted and raised as a Muggle by a Muggle mother, so she doesn't have any knowledge whatsoever about anything else. She only knows that compared to other girls, she's a little ... unusual.

Thanks so much! I'm a big fan of Jane Austen and it's a big compliment to hear that my writing is reminiscent of hers although I think you're really too nice. :D I have spent a lot of time in planning out each and every chapter before I write it - I had up to Chapter 8 or 9 planned when I first started. I think it helps to make a more cohesive kind of story when you know where you're going and exactly what's going to happen when.

Oh yes, a question mark is necessary! I'll be sure to add that in :) And I think you're only the second person who mentioned anything about Marvolo's little speech right there. I wanted to show his insane delusions of grandeur and excessive pride in his family's heritage.

Thanks so much! Glad you're enjoying it still!


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Review #14, by Bella_Portia 

30th March 2008:
Another excellent, imaginative chapter. I like that you have done a real backstory on Marvolo and the former Mrs. Gaunt, and I like where you are going with Bethe. (A Seer, no?)
This is been good reading.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm very glad that you're enjoying it. There will be much more on Merope's parents and how it will affect her later on. :)

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Review #15, by marauder_lover 

23rd March 2008:
Wow, this is hsaping out nicely, I like how it is forming out into a story. I really like the character of Bethe and her prophecy makes her character even more interesting. I like that in some fan fictions OC's are seers and they are a complete Mary Sue. However, Bethe has substance and is a properly formed character, and it's really refreshing to read.

I like how you write Merope and her progress with the reading and the defiance to her family, that she is finally getting. I really liek the development, it would have bigged me if she had become more educated and she was just the same.

I really like your writing style, it's really interesting and captivating to read. I'm off to read more!

Author's Response: Hello hello! :) Thanks a ton! I'm glad Bethe doesn't seem like a Mary Sue to you. She's just very kind and cares about other people, and she has always wondered about that poor girl who is kept closeted away on Gaunt's Hill by her not-so-nice father and weirdo brother. :) I'm so happy that she is properly formed to you and I hope she continues to be that way!

Yes Merope is certainly making some progress in her education and confidence, aided by her new friend - maybe it will help in other aspects of her life too. ;) Thanks so much!! I'm super happy that you like it so far! :)


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Review #16, by greylady_Ravenclaw 

23rd March 2008:
Bethe is a seer?! This is such a great story. This chapter was well written and the plot is moving along at a good steady pace. I'm adding this to my favorites. 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you very much! :) I'm thrilled that you like the story so far. Yep I thought since Merope and Tom live in a village in canon, that I would flesh it out a bit with OCs who also live there and may be affected or play some role in their story. Little Hangleton is a whole world unto itself! I appreciate your reviews so much! :)

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Review #17, by AnnaKay 

19th March 2008:
Well what a funny thing. No wonder Bethe thinks she is strange. She is a witch and does not know it. That might explain why she is so good with ingredients, herbs and the like. Maybe in her blood is an aptitude for potions. That would be really funny.

It seems that Merope is changing very quickly. Just goes to show how a little kindness can go a long, long way.

Author's Response: Good thinking!! I won't say much more until you read the next few chapters but you're on the right track. I completely agree that a little kindness goes a long way - I wanted to show that she is so desperate for any kind of love or friendship at all that she can blossom rapidly. Bethe is her first friend ever :( Although it's not surprising because the Gaunts keep to themselves and none of the villagers want to have anything to do with them anyway...

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Review #18, by queen_luna 

18th March 2008:
Oh wow! Great chapter. Very, very well-written. I love Bethe's character. That's saying something, since I'm usually very critical of Oc's. And she's a Seer?! Didn't see that coming. :) Good job!

Author's Response: Oh that makes me feel good then! :) I'm glad that you like her. Thanks so much for another sweet review :)

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Review #19, by Echo95 

16th March 2008:
Hi! It's me again. Another great chapter. I like the fact that Merope is actually smart, and the little twist that Bethe is a witch! I'm sorry for the short reveiw, but it's so good there isn't much to say!

Author's Response: In the books, Morfin comes off as definitely insane and stupid but I always thought his sister seemed a bit different. She was cowed by her father of course but I think there might have been more to her than what was obvious. I like imagining that she had some talent but was just bullied by Marvolo too much.

Thanks a billion! I'm thrilled that you liked the story. :)


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Review #20, by hogwarts_witch 

11th March 2008:
This was yet another wonderful chapter. I really enjoy reading this story!

But first of all, I would just like to point out to you one small mistake that I found:
"Merope walked quickly over to the stove and to hide the triumph in her face."
-Personally I think that this sentence would sound better if you reworded it a little differently. Maybe you could try and make it something like this 'Merope walked quickly over to the stove in order to hide the triumph in her face.'
But, you don't have to change it. This was just my opinion :)

Anyway, besides that one small thing, the chapter was absolutely perfect. You're a wonderful writer! 10/10

Author's Response: Oh wow is that what I wrote? That sentence doesn't sound good at all! Thanks so much for pointing that out to me ... I thought I had caught everything on my last editing go-around but I guess not! :) I'll fix it very soon. Ah thank you so much, I'm thrilled that you've been enjoying it so far! I hope you like the rest if you decide to go on. Thanks for all of your reviews! :)

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Review #21, by Gords7015 

3rd March 2008:
Yet another good chapter! I like how you've shown Merope's growth, how she can now do magic, and how she is opening up. It seems as though Bethe is a witch, but maybe who who chose not to go to Hogwarts? Or one who never recieved a letter? Good chapter, in any event!

Author's Response: You are exactly right, that's precisely what I had imagined for Bethe. Since magical children (or their parents) are given a choice whether or not to pursue a wizarding education, I thought it would make sense for Bethe's Muggle guardian to choose a non-magical life for her. Unfortunately magic can't be stamped out of a child that easily, as you will see later on...

I'm really happy that you like Merope's growth; it is one of the biggest plot points in this story. I think she needed confidence and a little self-esteem before she would even begin to consider using a love potion, or even talking to Tom. It would not be feasible to just have it happen right out of the blue.

Thank you Gords!


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Review #22, by luvdraco87 

29th February 2008:
I loved this chap. It was really great.

Constance
10/10

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

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Review #23, by CharmedOne 

17th February 2008:
Again, great characters, dialogue, sentence structure - it's a joy to read this story. I'm sorry I can't write longer reviews, but it's hard to write long ones when there's nothing to criticise! The character of Marvolo is done exceptionally well, and I think you've really laid out the story nicely. With a small picture, then a quote - also, I really like how when Bethe had the prophecy, the reader didn't know what was happening because it was all from Bethe's point of view. That is something that is really effective, which most fanfic authors don't do - it really helps build the suspense in the story

Author's Response: Oh don't worry, I love reading your reviews! :) I don't mind short ones when they're so nice and encouraging. Thanks, I like the story layout too! When I read a story, I always like to "see" what the characters look like, so I stuck in those chapter images for visual readers like me. Also to prettify the chapter :D :D I love quotations, and there are so many wonderful ones out there that it's been difficult to choose just one for each chapter.

Glad you liked the prophecy! Yes I wanted it to be slightly confusing and to be "What in the world just happened?!" Because that is what Merope and Bethe would be thinking at the moment. I love suspense! :)


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Review #24, by Harry_Potter_Mom 

15th February 2008:
This is an amazing story thus far! I'm shocked that it's your first (I'm writing my first as well, but I must say, yours is far better!)

I never even thought about Merope, but through your eyes ... wow!

And Bethe (interesting spelling) - Great OC character!

The details are nicely done - just enough to where we can picture what is happening, but not crammed down our throats.

I'm adding this to my favorites as I can't finish the rest right now, but I'll be back! :)

Again, great job!

Teresa

Author's Response: Hi Teresa!! Thanks for coming by! :)

It is indeed my first fanfiction, but I would be lying if I told you this were my first attempt at writing ... it isn't. I've been writing stories for quite a long time so I've been able to channel that experience into Harry Potter. Gotta love combining two things I enjoy! :)

I agree with you, Merope always seems to be stuck at the back of the closet, doesn't she? One of the things I love most about writing this story is exploring a part of Harry Potter that not many people have explored, and expanding it fully. Merope struck a chord with me the first time I read HBP, and I wanted to write a full novel about her as a tribute. After all, she is Voldemort's mother!

Thanks for your nice review, and for favoriting my story! I'm glad I could entertain you, and please take your time! I really hope you enjoy the rest. :)


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Review #25, by Kira 

15th February 2008:
Oh boy! I smell a seer!!! Gosh that's why she's considerd odd huh? So interesting! So perfect! I LOVE this story! I don't normally gush like this, normally I keep my head and try to offer good, concrete information but here I cannot help myself. I ADORE this story. Everything about it. The reading of Romeo and Juliet, how learning has sparked a new fire within Merope, a curiosity about Bethe. Oh gosh! My favorite thing was how you explained the prophecy (is it alright to call it a prophecy) from Bethe's point of view. How she didn't remember anything and how it almost seemed that no time had passed when really minutes had. I think that is a true mark of the creative, and insightful writer you are. You're wonderful, and I am having the best time reading this...I guess my philosophy paper will have to wait...Happy day!

Author's Response: Hahaha you smell correctly!! ;) Oh thank you so much, I promise you that you can gush as much as you like and I won't mind so much. ;) I'm thrilled that you adore this story! I didn't even imagine that I would have anyone adoring this story when I wrote it, and I'm just amazed and grateful about that. :)

Of course you can call it a prophecy, because that is exactly what it is! :) A prophecy is something that MAY come true, while a prediction is more set in stone, you know? So Bethe's prophecy would only come true if people took action and made sure it came true.

Anyway thanks for having a good time reading! I've really enjoyed reading your wonderful reviews, they've totally made my day. :D Good luck on your paper! :)


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