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49 Reviews Found

Review #1, by emma28 

15th January 2017:
nice chapter. i enjoyed it

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Review #2, by rose4ever 

11th May 2012:
lol that was good>>>this story is addicting!
on to the next one!

janke

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm so happy that you thought it was good and you're liking the story so far, it means a lot to me. Thanks for the wonderful review and I hope you have an awesome day :)

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Review #3, by AnnaAlloy 

26th December 2011:
Hahahah loved it! Having the Marauders in detention with Nellie. And I also love how you actually include Peter and Remus. Most fanfics focuse on the adventures of James and Sirius. And they also make Remus sound all too good. Yes he probably did get in trouble once or twice. I love how you include that. :)

Author's Response: Heya :) I'm glad you liked the chapter. And yes, it wouldn't make sense not to include them and I don't like stories that don't include them. Thanks, I'm glad you like what I'm doing. Thanks so much for the review and I hope you have a wonderful day! Xxx

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Review #4, by CassiePotter 

19th December 2011:
I love the Marauders banter! It's so fun to read, and all of the characters are easy to identify with. I also love how innocent Nellie is. That in particular is something I can relate to from past experiences :) Great chapter! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Heya :) I'm so glad you like the story! I'm also really happy you like the characters, that means a lot to me :) I'm glad you can relate! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story aswell! Thanks so much for the review and I hope you have a great day! Xxx

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Review #5, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

15th December 2011:
"She tried feeding a book to a...drink?" Sirius bit on his lip as he pondered something.

HAHAHA! That and then the whole conversation about snorting really made me giggle. I love Nellie's thoughts and comebacks. I feel like this story is just so carefree. It puts me in a good mood as I read the chapters. I know it gets dark in some places but it really is a breath of fresh air!

Author's Response: Haha, I'm so glad that made you laugh, it means a lot to me as I like it when I make people laugh. It is! it's the sort of story that i write just to put you in a good mood. Thanks! It's just there to make you smile. It's a bit cheesy at times but that's why i like writing it at times. Thanks so much for the review, it's made my day and I hope you have a wonderful day :) xxx

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Review #6, by Rexy 

29th October 2011:
Yaay for friendship , binns I love him cause he's weird. Wanna know why pad foots hair is so big, it's full of secrets (mean girl ref )

Author's Response: Yay! You gotta love friendship. Haha, that's so funny :) Gotta love mean girls. Thanks so much for the review, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story and I hope you have a great day! xxx

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Review #7, by foreverfleur 

24th August 2011:
Another great chapter! Nellie just can't seem to get away from these Maruaders.

I have to say one of my favorite moments what when James asked her--and so pompously--which fan club she belonged to. And she responded with a muggle nursery rhyme. So charming and innocuous, probably how I would have responded in that situation---and yet so revealing. I forget at times that she is of muggle descent and its just this added layer of complexity I can't wait for you to go into.

Also--I really like your characterization of Sirius. Usually he is characterized as this attractive, confident know-it-all type that gets all the ladies and really has no care in the world. I feel like you are really taking the time to peel that facade away even if only subtlety so in these early chapters. I really appreciate that.

Again--looking fwd to the next chapter! Keep up the great work!

Author's Response: Haha, no she can't, but if she could, it wouldn't make much of a story would it? :P

I'm so glad you liked that part. Nellie's 'dumb' moments are always fun to write because she just doesn't think like others so they think she's 'dumb' or something like that. Haha, yep, it comes up later in the chapter :)

Thanks! I've always thought Sirius was more than that so I'm trying to show that through this story. I'm glad you're liking it so far!

I hope you enjoy the rest of the chapters!

xxx


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Review #8, by Chanel 

7th August 2011:
Hey there dear!! I'm hoping to review all of your chapters before I go to sleep tonight, so we'll see how far I actually get! :D I love your writing style, it's very true to how people generally think; with the random outbursts and stories. The tidbit at the very end makes Nellie seem incredibly real, as it shows she has a softer, emotional side. I'm excited to see where that goes, because even the most goofy people have real life problems, so it makes Nellie all the more well rounded. You have a really nice way of tying all of your story bits and pieces together already, and it's only the third chapter! I can't wait to read more!
-Chanel (SlytherinPrincess55) (Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Aw, I'm just so happy that you've been reading my story. That is amazing to me. I'm so glad you like my writing style. Exactly! People can be very random in nature so I tried to show that. Exactly! She's not happy all the time, which gets explored in the later chapters. I'm so glad you think that, it means a lot to me. I hope you enjoy the rest of the chapters!

xxx


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Review #9, by girly1393 

15th March 2011:
I dunno, it was still pretty funny. You said it wouldn't be quite as funny, but I think it's the best so far!

Bravo to you.

Author's Response: I always worry that chapters aren't funny. But I'm glad that you thought it was okay.

Thank you and thanks for the review :) It means a lot to me. I hope you enjoy the next chapter.
xxx


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Review #10, by Lillylover22 

9th March 2011:
did nellie and regulus have a thing? 9/10 =]

Author's Response: Maybe ;) You'll have to read the next chapter to find out. I hope you like the next chapter too =D Thanks for the review, I'll try to update soon. xxx

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Review #11, by SearchingForLuna 

2nd January 2011:
Oh, them silly Marauders. :P

FAVORITE QUOTE TIME!!!

The fact that Fire Whiskey was an owl made the concept of trying to feed it a book so much easier to grasp.

I don't know why it's my favorite quote... it just made me laugh for some reason...?

Eh. Good chappie :) 10/10 Onward! Only... um... well, I'm not good at math so I'll just leave it at onward.

Author's Response: They are silly!

I'm so glad you liked that line! Firewhiskey is a cool owl :D

Thanks! Yay! I hope you enjoy the rest of the chapters!

xxx


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Review #12, by Ignorance 

1st September 2010:
As per usual it is making me laugh, i can tell you have a good sence of humour.
Absoltely bloomin' amazing!
10/10 :)

Author's Response: If you like my humour, then i can tell you too, have an awesome sense of humour ;)
Thank you so much! You're amazing.
x


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Review #13, by CessZ 

15th August 2010:
Detention with Maruders?? Sounds like MAJOR FUN!
*drools over Sirius*
An Owl named Fire Whiskey??? You can't get funnier than that!!
Well now tht "Coming soon" part is beckoning me to stop writing and jus read ahead...so my last fe words:
Good Job...Keep Up The Good Work!!

~CessZ

Author's Response: Hehe, yes, I think it would be.

*joins in with drooling.*

Haha, I thought the name was perfect :)

haha, i'm glad you enjoy the coming soon part!

thank you so much, you're far too kind to me.


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Review #14, by liza_potter 

12th August 2010:
Yes, Nellie sure isn't the usual person. It's a good kind of odd though.

The Marauders' characterization is much better. I really liked the entire conversation with Sirius and James, and how they play off each other for laughs. I think you should work a little more on Remus and Peter. It's very easy to make the two of them slip into the background.

I don't think any typos were made in this chapter. So great job with that!

I have to comment on the flow. The flow of this story is different, usually broken by some random thought or rambling. While I think it may get tiring for some readers after a while, I feel it's very much in character with Nellie.

I liked reading this. It was funny and unique, which is always refreshing. There are some little errors here and there, but none are so obvious. Feel free to re-request.

-Liza

Author's Response: Yes! I'm glad you found it good kind of odd.

Yes! I think that too. I try to give them as much speech as possible, but it's hard when you've got 7/6 characters together and you want to make each one speak. But I'm working on that and I'm trying to have a balance.

Thank you!

Thank you! I worry about it, but I'm glad you think it's very much in character with Nellie.

Thank you and I'll probably will, because your reviews are awesome! And very helpful.

x


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Review #15, by melian 

6th August 2010:
Can I just say, I ADORE how you used Eeny Meeny Miny Moe to pick a Marauder? That's hilarous. And I love how she called her owl Fire Whisky, that really appeals to me too. I also liked the reference to Geminio as a way of hanging onto their wands - it's a really innovative use of a spell that I would never have thought of. Nice one!

This has been a really fun read. Can you please review more podcasts so I have an excuse to go on? :)

cheers, Mel

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it! And I like to give my own pets different names so I thought why couldn't Nellie to that too.

Thanks! I had to trail through the spells archive for a while before I found something that fitted.

I'll try to :) I really will ;)

Thanks for the amazing review.


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Review #16, by katebabelovesharrypotter 

25th July 2010:
I love their big secrets. Snorting is awesome! I snort...

Author's Response: I snort too, it's cause we're cool ;)

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Review #17, by moonbaby11 

23rd July 2010:
Oh, you just have to love the Marauders. And when they're with Nellie? Oh, it's hilarious.

I like yor characterization of Nellie. She's so... different, in a cool way! ;) I liked how the Marauders stole the wands back to clean the trophies, and hwo Nellie says it's an 'organized mess'.

Great chapter, can't wait to read the next one! ;)

Author's Response: I'm so glad you think that.

I'm so glad you like Nellie, because I worry cause she carries the story. So if people don't like her, they usually don't like the story either. At least I find that in my experience.

Thank you, I'm glad you those parts.

Thanks for the amazing reviews! You've put a huge smile of my face.


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Review #18, by Myriad 

14th July 2010:
I like the occasional sidetrack in the narrative (like the one about the dragons). This mirrors Nellie’s personality well, just make sure you don’t use it too often because it can get a bit tedious on the reader. You just have to mess around with it a bit and try to find that happy medium.

I find it a bit unlikely that they would be serving detention with Binns. If he gave them detention he’d be far more likely to hand it off to Filch who would have had them clean the trophy room. I also think that, given what we know of his character from the books, it’d be a bit unlikely that he would even notice anything going on in his class enough to give a detention in the first place. I think you’re portraying him more as a living person than a ghost. Just changing it to a different teacher would make far more sense.

“You see, Slytherin and Gryffindor have never gotten on. It started back with the founders of this school. I don’t know what happened; I skipped that chapter.” Brilliant, I love this line!

“Every thought about not getting a detention?” ‘ever’ instead of ‘every’

“Never.” Sirius replied, “Detentions are our way of life.” ‘a’ instead of ‘our’ might read better.

You have very good pacing throughout all the chapters so far, but the flow is interrupted quite often by the grammar, sentence structure and tense mistakes.

“The fact that Fire Whiskey was an owl made the concept of trying to feed it a book so much easier to grasp.” This part here is just stating the obvious which makes it redundant and unnecessary.

I love that James stole the wands back, that’s classic Marauder behavior. Good job there.

I also like how you circled back to the biscuits from the first chapter. This really helps to link the chapters in more ways than the characters and continued plot. Little details like this are great.

“They don’t know his dirty secret...” James joined in the joke. “Perhaps they’ll join mine after they know your secret…” This reads funny as well. I think if you dropped the ‘they don’t know his dirty secret’ bit and reworded the second part it would work much better. I do like James’ scheming to get a larger fan base though, and the fact that the fan girls actually mean something to The Marauders.

Another good chapter, the writing seems to be getting stronger as you get into the swing of the plot and the characters. Overall you’re doing a good job and this is shaping up to be an interesting and fun story. Just watch out for the tensing, grammar, and fragments. These are things that can really turn a reader off.

Author's Response: I totally understand, I'm trying. If you carry on reading, I think I've got a good mixture, but that's just me. Probably the later chapters, as this was written in 2007. It's one of my earliest works, thus wanting reviews to improve on it and you're really helping with that.

Now that you think about it, it does make sense. But my reasoning was, that maybe Binn's was a bit different, 10 years before Harry got there? He might not have been, but I guess it does make sense for him to pass it on. I'll ponder it some more.

Thank you! I'm glad you like that line. It didn't seem to me that Nellie would read that book :D

Ah! Fixed those typos.
Okay! I'll try to focus on that when I go through it.

Thank you! I'm glad your liking things that are happening.

Yes! Biscuits pop up a lot in the story. I like to keep things consistent with the characters as that is a huge pet peeve of mine. I like my characters to make sense, if they say they hate something, they're still going to hate it five chapters down the line. I'm always checking this story to see if I have things that are right. If you see anything that contradicts anything a character has said before, without good reason, please point it out!

Oups! I mean his, not yours. Because it seems like he's talking to Nellie, not Sirius and He's talking to Sirius. So I understand what your saying. And Thank you! I'm glad you like that. Fan clubs get a mixed reception.

Thank you, I'm glad you think that. Writing this story gets easier as the characters come more to life. Thank you! And don't worry! I will.


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Review #19, by alicia and anne 

8th July 2010:
I didn't mention before but I'm loving the chapter images, I think Juno Temple (was that her name?) suits Nellie very well.

She just can't seem to escape the marauders, I can just imagine them pushing their presence onto unsuspecting people and making them talk to them.
I like how you show the hidden characteristics of the marauders and that they have more to them then the laughs and pranks. They seem insecure and quite often people don't show that in their stories, you do it subtly and very well. I think you're writing the marauders down to a T. They are so cute though, especially when they think that Nellie is trying to trap them in a spell.
Their fan clubs are funny, I want Sirius's dirty secret to come out in the open!
Fantastic chapter! I love it!

Author's Response: Thanks! We're up to 15 now. I just need to find the perfect Peter, it's so hard :( But yes, I agree she just is the perfect Nellie! Her hair and everything!

Yes! She can't! Yes. That's totally them, but they probably don't realize that about themselves. Thanks! I just thought that they essence, they are normal people too. Thank you so much! That's a huge compliment.

Haha :P It might... ;)

Thank you so much lovely.


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Review #20, by TallestTower 

15th June 2010:
I loved the ending! :D

I have to say, I think the head popping up from the chicken bit made Nellie quite possibly my all time favourite fanfiction character haha! She's so brilliant. It's even funnier because I know I have thoughts like that...!

The fan girl thing was very funny too :D This story just makes me smile and grin and laugh like a loon. And it's got such a great plot too, I really want to know what happens with Regulus. The time set makes it very interesting, as well being pure comedy gold! Thank you for posting =)

Author's Response: Nellie snorts :)

Haha! Thank you! I think everyone has strange thoughts, Nellie just doesn't have many normal ones xD

Yay! I'm so glad that it does! Thanks so much for all the compliments; I'm grinning like a loon! Reggie comes up in the next one :)

Thanks for the review!


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Review #21, by Clover 

31st March 2010:
I love this story I have read it over and over and over as many times as I possibly could. I am thinking about writing a story. You wouldn't mind if I used part of your title right? It would be called The world, Buiscuts, and Remus Lupin, according to Audra Finkle. If you don't want me to I can change the title. You are just my fav author and I really love your stories. and it would mean so much to me if when I finally get it posted if you could check it out and give your opinion. If you don't want me to use that title I will change it, it wont be a prob. :]

Author's Response: Yeah, that's fine. Just say where you got the inspiration from ;) Haha, if you would.

You so should write a story! Aw really? Thank you so much. And sure, I'll happily take a look at it.

Tis fine. Have a great day and thank you so much. I'm struggling to write the next chapter and to read stuff like this really helps.

Thank you :)


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Review #22, by AllThingsMagical 

19th February 2010:
Hey again :)

The thing I liked most about this chapter was the fact the marauders were so well prepared for detentions. The way they made sure they still had their wands and the way they plan out roughly how long they need to take before going back to Binns. It was pretty smart the way they had it all worked out.

I also enjoyed the Fire Whiskey related comments. That was very well done. An interesting name for an owl though. The snorting comments too were well done. There was a nice symmetry in the fact both Sirius and Nellie snort. I'm surprised she had trouble picking a club when I think she would choose Sirius although perhaps not admit it to him.

I did have a couple of questions to ask. Firstly why were the marauders in detention? And secondly did the marauders actually know Nellie prior to your story?

There were a few things I thought I'd mention for you to think about. You've chosen a very typical punishment - I've read this in quite a few other stories as well as COS. So my point was, don't be afraid to branch out and experiment. I don't understand why all of the marauders have suddenly started liking Nellie. I'm assuming this is a Nellie/Sirius story and it seems a little strange that they all suddenly started being her friend - I always imagined them to be friends mainly with each other and then each have their own sort of friends. Does that make sense, I think I waffled? The other thing I was a little unsure of was the fan clubs. I think it's a little too much.

This was generally a good chapter and quite insightful in terms of the marauders. :)

Author's Response: First of all. I have to apologize for a late reply. My aunt died and I've taken it rather hard. I just wanted to say so you don't think I'm ungrateful or anything. I really do appreciate all your reviews are doing for me. They are wonderful and thought provoking.

Yes, I thought they would get quite a bit of detentions, so it would make sense for them to be used to everything.

I know, but I name my pets unusual things, so it probably comes from that. My original name for the owl...was owl, but then firewhiskey popped into my head and seemed perfect.

Nellie doesn't know Sirius that well at the moment and she's still a little bitter over the fact that they got her in detention. It was also to show that Nellie sees them as equals.

First question, I've never thought about it, but I imagined a prank in class or something along the lines of that.

They knew of her existence, but didn't fully know her. Of course they knew her a little bit, cause she's on the quidditch team, but didn't talk to her much. They never really inquired about her life too much.

I know, it is quite typical, but I couldn't think of anything else. It's quite sad really, when I eventually rewrite the story, I'll probably change it. But thank you. I will keep that in mind, to branch out and experiment.

It's not that they super like her at the moment; she's a source of amusement. It's like they are more aware of her now. They answer her questions, because she asked them and they have no need to lie. But I'm going to think about that more.

Don't worry, it make perfect sense.

I know, It's quite a typical thing, I'm thinking about changing it. I might do, I might not. I'm in half of minds at the moment, but thank you for your opinion.

Thanks for the thought provoking review and taking your time to check out my story. It's much appreciated.

- Keely
xxx


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Review #23, by NerdyPoop 

14th January 2010:
aww, pretty cool chapter! Nellie is so likeable and she's so not Mary Sue, I love her!
Your writing is cool, it just flows brilliantly till I finish the chapter and don't even realise it!
Very nice, and one of my favourite stories on HPFF

Author's Response: Thank you so much. That's real kind of you :) I'm glad you like Nellie. thanks for the review!

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Review #24, by hp4eva786 

11th January 2010:
"i only walked into her" love nellie

Author's Response: thank you so much :D

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Review #25, by olivia 

18th January 2009:
sirius snorts! hahaha!
i luv this story =)

Author's Response: haha, i'm so happy that you like my story (:
x


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