12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by knicoles 

26th July 2013:
Nailed Tonks. Great interaction between Kerri and Tonks especially the intro to living as room mates, seems like Tonks setting things on fire'll be the norm, haha.

Yay Remus. Again, well done on nailing the character traits on the head. I liked the interplay, no over the top we-fell-in-love-at-first-sight crap. I know this is a Remus-Tonks ship, but I liked how he was introduced to the story and the non-canon character.

 Report Review

Review #2, by Coy 

19th November 2010:
Wow! What a great, mature writing style! To be honest the beginning is confusing but once I got used to the format of journal entries and figured out what time period this was set in, everything fell into place nicely. I am excited to find out what the world of Harry Potter is like, outside of Hogwarts. Awesome job!

Author's Response: Thanks.

I'm one of a handful of non-teenage writers around here. (I'm thirty now, but I was twenty-six when I started writing this series) So that would probably account for a "mature writing style."

I believe that I've had other people have difficulty with the beginning of the story too. Too many odd relationships I suppose. Other than those odd relationships, I've tried to adhere to canon as much as possible. I'm really not fond of non-canon stories and had never written one until I started this.

When I began this story I knew that the first two installments would take place largely away from Hogwarts and the canon characters. So I had to focus on coming up with strong original characters and new locations for the setting. It was fun expanding Rowling's world and people seem to have liked my original characters. The only difficulty now is that I'm writing year 4 which takes place at Hogwarts so I have too many characters to juggle. I thought that I would look forward to the action moving to Hogwarts where I could play with the canon characters more, but I'm actually so used to my original ones that I almost wish I hadn't had to move Kerri to Hogwarts at all.

Thanks for the review.

 Report Review

Review #3, by funkynat 

25th November 2009:
thats really cool and original. And intelligent.

Author's Response: Thanks.

The workhouse is strongly based on a factory where I used to work in real life.

 Report Review

Review #4, by Molly 

23rd October 2009:
I. love. Remus. Lupin.

Author's Response: I know -- so do I. He's my number one favorite character, followed by Snape. That's why they have such central roles here.

 Report Review

Review #5, by mercurialxsmile 

20th August 2009:
Aww. I could really grow to love this girl ^_^

Author's Response: Thank you.

 Report Review

Review #6, by ChoS_sista_gurl 

12th November 2008:
UGHH Fenrir Greyback. What a disgusting creature. I've thought he was gross since his fascination with Hermione in HPDH. Plus, he infected Bill, right? I didn't remember that he was the one who bit Remus, but now I hate him all the more!

Haha. Now that I'm done ranting about Greyback, I have to say that I really like your idea of a workhouse. It's sort of a wizarding version of a mass-production factory, or even a sweatshop. I've never heard of anything like it in HP, but of course the wizarding world would have its own share of these hidden horrors. And it's really reflective of society to have the vampires, werewolves, and other "unwanted" peoples working there as well. Even poor Remus, who's as smart--and smarter!--than most Hogwarts graduates. Moony is one of my favorite characters, if you haven't noticed. He's second only to Pad (who also serves as my muse in his spare time) =]

Anyway, I'd love to read more Remus, but I have another long story waiting in my review thread. I hope you found my comments helpful, although I know I tend to go off on random tangents sometimes. Good luck!


Author's Response: Yes, he was Remus's attacker. It's in HBP somewhere during the Christmas part.

I hate Fenrir more than any other character, including Voldemort. The weird thing is that I've begun developing him in the sequel is that I've found that I love writing him. It's just so much fun for some reason.

The workhouse was based upon a factory where I used to work which was one of the most horrible places you can imagine. No werewovles, vampires, etc, but there were a lot of unwanted people there who had hit rock bottom and recieved no respect at all from their employers.

And of course the struggle for equality is another major theme in this story.

Thank you so much for all of your reviews.

 Report Review

Review #7, by Shellee 

14th May 2008:
Honestly, it's an honest mistake to put foil in the microwave if you're not familiar with it. Aw, yes, I see Tonks as a party person all the way. That house in all seems about as big as my place. I love it though, it doesn't have to be big, I just hope when I move, I'll have a bit of room to move around, which I don't have at the moment. Hehe.
Well, good that she already has a job. She'll earn money quicker and such. Ah, I knew it would be our lovely Remus. He's such a sweetheart! Working hard, the poor dear. At least he has her help now, hm. Urgh, Fenrir, I wouldn't like to work with him either. Poor Remus. They seem to get along wonderfully already =)

Author's Response: "Sweetheart" seems to be the word everyone uses to describe Remus. He is-- and that's why we all love him. Probably Kerri has picked up on that herself already. He and she really do hit it off right from the start.

 Report Review

Review #8, by JLHufflepuff 

10th May 2008:
I like seeing Kerri and Tonks interacting. It seems they have a nice little arrangement with plenty of Tonks-nonsense to keep things interesting.

OKAY, so this is my favorite chapter so far. Something about the forlorn situation or the way you portray his character (both, probably) makes me feel weak-kneed toward your Remus... Well, I'm sitting, but you get the point. Seriously, my heart melts for him more than the other Remus stories I've read so far. I think you've characterized him perfectly. I feel so sorry for him, but the way he acts doesn't invite sympathy. He's just dealing with the situation of his life. It's awful that he has to work in such a rough place, but at least he's doing it. I like the way Kerri told him about the equal rights in America and such... And that law against apparition! IHH!

Also, I really like the way you're establishing the werewolf coven and everything. I'm surprised that Remus is so casual about Greyback. He's just icky; you have him down perfectly, too (especially with the sharpened teeth!).

Author's Response: That's one of the major things I admire about Remus. He has a really tough life but he makes the best of things. Unlike Snape, he hasn't let it turn him bitter and hateful. I really wish I could be more like that.

It's kind of the same thing in relation to how he handles Fenrir. They're stuck there in close proximity to each other so there's no point in complaining about it.

I have big plans to develop Fenrir's character for the sequel. I want to get into why he is like he is and give him at least one child. (Fenrir with a child -- that's really scary). In the meantime, he's mostly just a royal pain throughout this story. He likes to stir trouble and he always knows just how to press Remus's buttons. If anyone can pull Remus out of his reserve, it's Fenrir. Right now Fenrir isn't quite as crazy as he is when we see him in the sixth book, but I'm looking forward to portraying his downward spiral.

Tonks too is very important. She and Kerri will be best friends through the entire story. I also have plans to develop her and I do intend to stick with the canon so far as giving her a child named Teddy during that seventh year.....he'll just have a different last name.

Thanks for reviewing. Glad to see you're still with me.

 Report Review

Review #9, by ButterflyRogue 

9th April 2008:
Finally here... :) I like the idea of a workhouse, very interesting... And very logical too - giving a chance to vampires, werewolves and such to earn some money, they need to live from something after all...

Ah... I want a five pound bag of chocolate frogs...

I also like that you brought Fenrir into the story as well. It is bound to tense the situation a bit... And I don't think I have to mention how much I love Remus... :D

Great chapter!!

Author's Response: Kerri will meet a lot of friends (and some enemies) at the workhouse. It also gives her a chance to see the horrendous conditions that some factions of the magical society have to live in.

I'm sure chocolate frogs are nice, but have you ever had Lindor Truffles? I'd like a five pound bag of THOSE !

Fenrir is here off and on through this story, mostly just being a thorn in the side. He's not quite as nuts now as he will be by the time he goes after Bill Weasley, but he's well on his way. Sometimes he's actually kind of fun for me to play with as a writer....he's entertaining at least.

Thank you again for reviewing.

 Report Review

Review #10, by Bella_Portia 

8th March 2008:
This was a more involved and information-packed chapter than the previous ones. I enjoyed the narrative, including the descriptions of the workhouse and its personnel (including old friends like Fenrir). (BTW: I am curious as to why you call it a workhouse? Why not a factory, which is what it apparently is? a "workhouse" suggests a social institution of the Dickens era).

I did think that this was the first installment that might have benefitted from review by a Beta. I ran across occasional errors that were just a tiny bit distracting (e.g., "you two sweetie" instead of "you too, sweetie" and "wizard's only" instead of "wizards-only".)

But, all in all, this was a pretty engrossing chapter.

Author's Response: Yes, I know it has that Dickens connotation. I chose to call it that on purpose. It's a place for society's rejects, like werewolves, vampires, etc, and the people forced to work there have no rights. It isn't meant to be a pleasant place and I wanted to add to that feeling by referring to it as a workhouse.

Hopefully the things you named are the worst mistakes I've made. You're the first person to point out typos in this chapter....I should probably go back and fix them.

Thank you very much.

 Report Review

Review #11, by morgana67 

16th February 2008:
The conversation between Remus and Kerri was a real treat. I love their interaction. The scene with Tonks and the microwave very canon as well and Oh, my God! Fenrir in charge! (God help us all!). Also, very like the Ministry to pass very discriminatory Laws. Something like that happens in my story too, only probably a little worse.

I only spotted one error which is that you said himself rather than herself when Kerri replies to Remus' question about Snape. I really like how he is pleased for him to have a decent job, even if his friends and him didn't get on at school. Remus is just such a wonderful character!

Author's Response: I think Remus and Kerri are much more suited for each other than Remus and Tonks. They both have their inner demons to fight and understand one another. Also, where she has a temper and a slightly wild streak, he's very mild and easy going. I think they absolutely complete one another.

I absolutely love Tonks and have so much fun with her. She keeps Kerri very busy keeping her out of trouble and gradually becomes very fond of some of the Muggle appliances.

Fenrir at this point is not as crazy as he is when we meet him in HBP but he's gradually getting there. Kerri really has no respect for him yet because she hasn't seen him at his worst. I'm planning to do that scene in the early part of the second year.

Remus is an absolute sweet heart and that's why I love him. He isn't the type to hold petty grudges and he really does just try to get along with everyone. How can anyone NOT like Remus?

And thanks for catching that...I'll have to go back and fix it some time. If that's the worst thing you could find, then that's pretty good, I think.

Thanks so much for your reviews !

 Report Review

Review #12, by Richter Vans 

1st February 2008:
Good chapter, I liked to know about the work they do in there, is interesting, XD, But Fenrir working there? OoO.. That was a shoker!! XD, and I dont think that Lupin knew about Fenrir was his attacker or did he? How can he do nothing, XD.

The restrictions about warewolfs and other half breeds is interesting, I always though about them.

The house and the room you describe is too small, but is ok, BUT!! they are witches for the love of merlin... Tonks would have bewitched the room to make it bigger in no time. :P...

Kerri didnt used her car in this chapp, She could have give a lift to Remus in furter chapps I hope, XD.

Author's Response: Yes --- Fenrir is there. And yes, according to canon, Remus did know Fenrir was his attacker. Now he's sort of stuck there having to deal with him every day.

Fenrir isn't as crazy now as he will be a few years from now, but he's getting there. Kerri doesn't respect him as much as she should because she hasn't seen him in action yet. Eventually, she will, but probably not until next year.

I suppose they could make the place bigger,but as an author, you have to limit your use of magic somewhere.

Eventually she and Remus will use that car to take a job together in the Muggle world and make a bit more money.Eventually, Kerri is going to gradually begin encouraging the werewolves to start working Muggle jobs so they can make better money. The job she eventually gets with Remus will be the start of that.

Thanks for reviewing !

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login
Add a Review