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82 Reviews Found

Review #1, by someone___1 

13th November 2012:
Aww!! Good to see Merope has a friend. Bethe seems so sweet! :) I wish I had her as a neighbor.

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Review #2, by georgeandfred 

6th January 2012:
aw! this is really sweet! i love your style of writing:)

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Review #3, by marisalovesharry 

25th September 2010:
Interesting a muggle peeks her interest in potions
GOING TO NEXT CHAPTER

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Review #4, by TA 

16th May 2010:
I'm so amazed. This potter fiction is just GREAT. THe greatest! I love Merope Gaunt thanks to you. I'm french and i like the way you use your words to serve the story JK ROWLING once imagined. Sincerely, i like this story! Thank you very much for writing it.

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Review #5, by _Maya_ 

28th July 2009:
You've reconstructed the time frame amazingly well. But I'm even more dumbfounded by the fact that have changed my frame of mind concerning the Merope. >_

Author's Response: Wow, what a compliment! I'm glad you're enjoying the story and it's great that it has changed your mind about Merope. I like to think she's a much more complicated character than what she appears to be in HBP. Thanks for the review!

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Review #6, by rosie_sirius93 

21st January 2009:
I like Bethe, she seems very sweet and nice to have offered to help Merope out! love the story already, can't wait to keep reading!
10/10
;D

Author's Response: Glad you like the story! :) I like Bethe too and I'm very happy that you like her. She has a big role to play in Merope's story.

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Review #7, by Stag Night 

3rd November 2008:
I had intended to try to review your whole story in the one week when I left the review for the first chapter... but what can I say. I guess I'm lazy.

I actually can't remember Dumbledore saying she was powerful (in response to your response)... but I have only read HBP a couple times. I do agree that it seems unlikely a descendant of SS and the mother of the most powerful wizard ever would be a squib though.

I really do like Beth. I know you were on the fence about her for a while, about having two story lines. I've already read the whole story, so I can say this - I think she's great. I think her research into Merope's past and her dreams add a little suspense to the story and that helps to move things along. It definitely kept my interest, because I ended up being just as curious about things as Beth was. I also loved who she is a descendant of... and who her future relations are, considering who it was that made the prophecy about LV/HP in the first place.

It's always nice to see Merope with a friend. It lifts her spirits, gives her hope and a little bit of a social life. I like that it is Beth who gives her the confidence to find herself and perform the magic she is capable of doing. I like that Beth is in the medicine field ^.^ I think she'd be really good at Potions!

I also wanted to compliment you on the townsfolk... They're so realistic and their gossip is so fun to read. It's so easy to picture - the scene plays out like a movie. I remember being wowed by their conversations the first time I read this story. And it doesn't sound like you struggled to find things for them to talk about at all. It's not forced, it's really good!

So... I do intend to finish reviewing all the chapters :) It just might take me a while :D

Author's Response: Hello dear! Thanks for coming to review :D

I need to go back and read HBP myself, but I recall reading that Dumbledore said something like with Morfin and Marvolo gone, Merope was free to tap into what magic she possessed. I think it makes sense that even though the Gaunts are all intermarried and crazy and whatnot, they would be pretty good wizards if given the chance.

I'm glad you like Bethe :) I was definitely on the fence during my Story Club at eHPF and I actually asked people whether they wanted to see more of her. I decided to keep her in the end, but tried to weave her storyline as closely to Merope's as I could. Unfortunately I didn't have room or time to finish her story in a satisfactory way, but maybe someday I'll revisit that.

I loved writing the townsfolk :) I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone else, so it was fun to tap into that.

Thanks love! Glad you enjoyed the story so far!


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Review #8, by sazel_c 

27th October 2008:
I really like where you're going with this, taking ideas JK only touched on. I congratulate you.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! It's been a lot of fun :)

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Review #9, by savagebeginnings 

25th October 2008:
Hi again! Another great chapter! I really like Bethe Lawney's character so far. She seems like such a good person and I love the fact that she wants to befriend Merope! I did find one little thing though:

the little tree-lined street was filled with people taking the air - This part just sounded a little awkward to me.

Not really much to critique really! I love the life that you've given to the little village of Little Hangleton. Very quaint in appearance. You'd never guess that it was harboring such a dark secret!

Overall, I thought this was another really great chapter, and I just love Bethe!

Author's Response: So grateful that you like Bethe :) She does have a special place in my heart. Thanks for pointing out that awkward sentence! Proofreading my own chapters has shown me that I can be really wordy at times. Sometimes I have an 8000 word chapter that I go back and proofread, and I can cut it down by over 2000 words because I just use so many unnecessary adjectives and descriptions. I'll go back and see what I can do about it!

Glad you like the quiet village of Little Hangleton. I had to imagine it all by myself since we know very little about it, but that was where my imagination went wild and I began creating townspeople, shops, even the layout of the village.

Thanks for your review! :)


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Review #10, by Tor Petty 

14th October 2008:
How sweet. I love Bethe, already. She seems such a kind soul with a good head on her shoulders.

This story is really well thought out! 10/10

Author's Response: I like Bethe, too :) Everyone needs a friend like her, most especially Merope. Thanks for the review!

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Review #11, by JuicyJuice 

3rd June 2008:
I've been meaning to read this story for ages--I'm so happy to see the Merope/Tom thing explored. It's probably one of the most fascinating relationships in the books, and so far you are doing a great job!

Sorry this is so short, but I have to run. I just wanted to let you know so far so good, and I will certainly be back to read the rest!

Author's Response: Hey! I love your penname by the way, it's making me thirsty :P Thank you very much for reading my story and I'm happy that you think I'm doing okay! I agree with you, Tom/Merope is a relationship that fascinates me because it plays with the idea of messing with love, and what can happen as a result. Love is a major, major theme in the Potter books, and it's interesting that while Harry was created by love and saved by love, our buddy Voldie wasn't so lucky, coming into the world without love and never quite understanding it.

Thanks for your review and I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story if you decide to continue on! :)


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Review #12, by granpa harry 

30th May 2008:
I am hoping to read more later.

I like all the 'herb lore' you have included.

Author's Response: Well thanks :) I like herb lore too, and I had fun looking up some of those ingredients that Bethe mentioned. Hope you enjoy the rest of the story if you decide to keep reading!

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Review #13, by ButterflyRogue 

4th May 2008:
I have already fallen in love with Bethe!! She is amazing!
And also, your way of writing almost makes me think I'm in the 1920's myself. You've really captured that time period very good --- the manner of speaking, the customs of the people living in such a small place like Little Hangleton, absolutely everything.
It's very interesting that Merope has interest in herbs and making potions. Almost as if you're foreshadowing the known turn of events (which you probably are...) :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much, I'm glad you like my OC :) I really enjoy writing this time period, although sometimes I think I might lapse into dialogue/manners that are too old-fashioned for the 20's, but I think it fits better in this setting. I picture Little Hangleton as a very quaint, old-fashioned place, although I'm not sure how accurate that is for the central Northern region of England at that time. I'm glad you liked it though! :)

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Review #14, by shadowycorner 

3rd May 2008:
Aw, I love Bethe. I ahve to give you props for describing the setting and the age, in which this story takes place so fantastically. Your characters all seem natural and lovely, like the gossiping ladies. You find those in every village and it was enjoyable reading that scene. I have absolutely nothing to criticise about this story, not that I'd like to.

I'm just one of those who either loves or dislikes a story, and I am definitely really enjoyign this one. Adding it to my favorites and I will read the rest of the chapters later this weekend. You have a great story on your hands. :)

Author's Response: Oh thank you very, very much :) My writing often has an old-fashioned style to it (which must be because I love period work) so this was a nice time period to work with. I'm happy that you liked Bethe and the gossipers too! I can clearly picture the way I want this village to look in my head, and I definitely got inspiration from my visit to the English countryside a few years ago. It's so peaceful and rustic, yet small enough for everyone to know everyone else and be in each other's business. :D

Thank you so much for your kind words, and I really hope you enjoy the rest of the story! :) :)


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Review #15, by momotwins 

30th April 2008:
Oh poor Merope with her house-elf-ish clothes :( She really is pathetic, you can see why Bethe wants to take her under her wing a bit. I don't know whether it's mentioned by other reviewers, but I like that you list your non-canon additions to the story in your A/N, that's quite nice. I'm compulsive about canon though :) Another excellently written chapter. Bethe is an interesting character, how do you pronounce her name - is the e silent or is it Beth-ee? Is she a witch or just a wise-woman-in-training type? I guess that will come out later so I'll keep reading :)

Author's Response: HAHA now that you mention it, they are rather like a house-elf's clothes, aren't they? Oh thank you, I'm really compulsive about things that are and are not canon also. People were getting confused and asking me whether certain characters or plot elements (such as the snake locket being able to talk) were in JKR's books, and whether I had come up with Merope's name (which I hadn't). It's all there for clarification! :)

Bethe is pronounced "Beth-a." And yes, whether she is a witch or simply a very educated Muggle will come out later in the story (as you've already discovered by now!). Thanks again!


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Review #16, by morgana67 

19th April 2008:
I really like Bethe as a character. I actually remember a local pharmacist that was a bit like her, really kind and knowledgeable. I wonder whether she is actually a witch, she seems to know her Herbology well. The village gossips are very true to life as well. I wonder how this friendship may alter the course of Merope's story and I'm intigued.

Now, why does Marvolo only go to the pub once a month and only on the first day? I thought he liked a drink! but I'm sure this will be explained.

Author's Response: Hi Morgana! Thank you very much :) Bethe is actually a combination of people for me, friends and family who are wise and supportive. She is a very skilled healer! This friendship is extremely important to my plot and you will see how everything plays out in the end! Good question about Marvolo ... what he does is take a monthly trip to the pub, buy as much firewhisky as he can bring home and that will last him a month, and just stay home and drink. He doesn't like being around the Muggles more than necessary :)

Thanks for your review!!


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Review #17, by celticbard 

17th April 2008:
You have a wonderful way with characters. Bethe's introduction was seamless and already, I can tell she's going to be a well-rounded, interesting OC. I also particularly enjoyed the description of Little Hangleton. I can just picture the sunny, cobblestone streets and little shops.

Merope's tentative relationship with Bethe has me thinking. Will it be Bethe who brews the love potion Merope uses on Tom Riddle? Hmm, I'm simply full of questions!

I only noticed a few rough sentences in this chapter that you would perhaps consider reworking. They are as follows.

“She smoothed her basket pointedly, hoping they would realize she had herbs to collect and hadn't the inclination to hear more gossip.”
I'm not sure Bethe could actually "smooth" her basket. She could smooth the cloth covering it or tap the wicker side, though.

"They seemed rather unpleasant people."
I think this should be, "They seemed like rather unpleasant people."

"She wondered what misery lay in the past that so desperately had to be forgotten with drink and anger."
This sentence read a little awkward to me. Perhaps you would consider rewording it as, "She wondered what misery lay in Gaunt's past that he so desperately tried to forget it with drink and anger."

""Why then I'll teach you, if you like," Bethe exclaimed."
You need an exclamation point here, I believe.

Again, I really enjoyed this chapter and I cannot wait to read the rest. Good luck!

Best,
celticbard

Author's Response: Thank you so much for pointing out these sentences!! I'm definitely going back over and polishing them up. I guess this is what comes of being complacent and not having a beta *blush*

I'm really glad you think my OC is well-rounded! My main purpose for Bethe when I first started writing the story was simply as a plot device (to get Merope's story rolling) but I have developed a lot of affection for her and created a whole story behind her.

I like Little Hangleton too! I was lucky enough to spend two weeks in England and France with my family just before I finished college, and I was definitely influenced by the beautiful little country villages that we got to see, the less-modern ones that is. I wish there were places like that here in the US...

Thank you so much for your very helpful review :)


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Review #18, by Chappe 

13th April 2008:
"These are my own original ideas."
^Original ideas indeed, my dear. And again--No flaws to be seen =D

I'm so thrilled that Merope has gained both a friend as well as a tutor

Author's Response: Haha thank you! I wanted to specify in each chapter which were canon ideas and which were my original thoughts, since people were getting a little confused and asked for clarification.

Thanks for saying that about Bethe - her friendship is going to be pretty important to Merope and how it helps the story unfold. Everything happens for a reason...


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Review #19, by Potter_fan 

10th April 2008:
Wow! Another fantastic chapter :D

Ok I loved it, i dont even know why you asked for reviews, lol, but I'm glad you did.

Ok so here's what i liked about it--

- No grammar or punctuation mistakes
- You're so original and creative! I loved how you told us about everything happening in the village from bethe's point of view.
- Liked the characterisation of the Mrs Shephard and Mrs Johnson, they're so nicely portrayed as typical gossipy women :D
- Here's a small thing though (just for the sake of some critisicism...) There's a line in there saying ""Until tomorrow," she murmured, looking affectionately at the handpainted sign that read Lawney Medicine Shoppe." You should write the name of the shoppe within single inverted commas.

Besides that I simply loved the fic. The pace was fast and it was really enjoyable to read it. Awesome work :) You're a very good writer!

10/10

Author's Response: Haha thanks for coming back again! I ask for reviews because it's always nice to hear some brand-new, unbiased opinions from people who don't know me and haven't been exposed to my work before. I find I get some great honest feedback that way and it really helps me out to hear a variety of opinions. :)

You're probably right about the single quotes around the shop name - I'll check it out and fix it up. :) Thank you so very much!


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Review #20, by _DearMyLove_ 

29th March 2008:
Awh that’s so sweet! I really like Bethe, you’ve already developed her character so well. Your character development in general is wonderful, and I like the minor characters you include, who don’t necessarily add to the plot but just make the whole world you’ve created more real. For example, Mrs Johnson and Mrs Shepherd were such a great addition. Oh, and I know it’s such a small thing, but I really like the way you had them mention other people in their conversation, such as Alice Everett. Less talented authors would have them go straight to talking about the Riddles, but adding details like that just makes it a wonderful read. ^_^

I did wonder how Merope had managed to get out of the house without her father or brother stopping her. Last chapter Morfin followed her, so it seemed a slight contradiction that she would be able to get away and talk to Bethe without being detected.

Quite a few of the points Bethe brought up about the Gaunts were quite interesting. I completely agree about the way they were isolated from the rest of the village leading to their inevitable reclusive existance. It makes Merope’s situation so much worse and I really feel for her. And your description of her when she met Bethe was so sad! I hope Bethe helps her, I really do. Ah, I’m acting like this story is real! ^_^

I’m really, really enjoying this story so far. You’re a fantastic author, and your writing just makes the story come alive. I’m really eager to read on! ^_^
xxx

Author's Response: Thank you very, very much :) I have a great liking for minor characters (which explains why I don't usually like to write about the Trio, since we already know so much about them and there isn't much room to work without going out of canon) and I have developed a great affection for Merope. I can so clearly see the village of Little Hangleton in my mind when I write - it too is a "minor" setting since we never get to see what's in it except for Riddle House and the pub called the Hanged Man. I get a lot of freedom with the places that I want to add in and the layout that I want it to take (for example the two hills that face each other, one with Riddle Manor and the other called Gaunt's Hill with the cottage, is not canon).

Merope often wanders outside because the Gaunts' garden and the water pump are both outdoors. I imagine her sneaking away when she's supposed to be gathering food or getting water and just stealing a moment for herself.

I think the Gaunts would have been alienated completely from the rest of the villagers - when people see a drunk, bad-tempered man and a dangerous half-wit son, they are apt to stay as far away as possible.

Thank you so very much! :) Hope you enjoy the rest of it if you decide to continue!


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Review #21, by greylady_Ravenclaw 

23rd March 2008:
Bethe is so nice. Merope is finally going to have a friend, hopefully. The gossips remind me of a few people I know. xD

This chapter is really well writen. Great job. 10/10

Author's Response: Hahaha the gossips remind me a LOT of some people I know. *eyeroll* There's some in every town/school/family/group isn't there? Thanks a lot for your review, I'm glad you liked these first two chapters! :D

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Review #22, by marauder_lover 

22nd March 2008:
Cool second chapter, I like how you introduced Bethe as a character, she seems real, and she seems to fit the time too, which is definitely refreshing to read. I think that this is a really good story with a great plot so far, I'm very intereseted to see where it's going!

You write realy well: it flows and keeps the reader intrested. Nice :D

Author's Response: Awesome thank you very much! :) I hope you enjoy the rest of the story if you decide to go on! I appreciate your review once again :D

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Review #23, by AnnaKay 

19th March 2008:
Very good chapter. I like it a lot and I really enjoy when people are nice and not evil.

I hope she can help a lot, and make her life a whole lot better! She seems like she should and would do anything to help out!

Author's Response: Haha I like nice people better than evil ones too, although evil people can be interesting *cough Voldemort cough*. ;) I think Bethe will help out a lot! Thank you for your review!

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Review #24, by Echo95 

16th March 2008:
Hello, this is Coolio again. I think this chapter is also very good, so I don't have much to say! I love your character Bethe Lawney though. I think it's a good plot for at least one character to have a friend. Marvolo Gaunts an Ugly, Drunken, Git. That's all he is. I think that you have got the second chapter to an amazin story, so keep writing. It's very good. Well, Cheers!

Author's Response: Awesome I'm really happy that you liked Bethe! HAHA I agree with you about Marvolo. He's got some skeletons in his closet, but he really is just a big ugly drunken git. It's a good thing he'll get thrown into Azkaban soon! Thank you for your review! :)

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Review #25, by hogwarts_witch 

11th March 2008:
This was another absolutely amazing chapter! I love your writing style and the amount of detail you put into your story. It makes the reading much more enjoyable rather than just reading dialoge like some people do in their stories.

I don't really have much to say about this chapter except that I really liked it and that it was very well written. I also really liked your Bethe character. You brought out her characteristics and personality very well.

Anyway, fantastic job. I really like this story so far and I'm really excited to see what's going to take place in the next chapters :)

Author's Response: Yay! Glad you're liking the story so far :) I agree with you - too much dialogue gets really old but so does too much description. I think a healthy mixture of the two definitely makes a story easier to read. I'm happy that you liked the first two chapters and I hope you liked the third!

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