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64 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ykai 

12th December 2010:
Take that, Draco! Haha.. Now I'm curious about Naomi.. :)

Enjoying this.. ^^,

Author's Response: Thank you! :)

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Review #2, by TheLittlestLestrange 

6th June 2009:
ha! "...I assure you she will start to notice you." wah! hayden should so teach every single guy in the world that.

and then draco picked up her stuff!. of course you knew that. you wrote it but stilll!

Author's Response: LOL Thanks for the comment. :)

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Review #3, by spreaddapoo93 

5th June 2009:
Ho... I am rendered senseless... speechless... mindless... mouthless? Twitchy fingers again...

Author's Response: LOL Thank you! :)

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Review #4, by mgmve 

26th May 2009:
I'm loving this story so far! It's great! I hope Hayden can figure out a way to save Hermione. He's really getting to Draco. I can't wait to read more. I better go so I can!

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Review #5, by Linn 

22nd May 2009:
Wow, this is amazing. Really love it.
It's gonna keep me up tonight, I assure you:D

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Review #6, by celticbard 

7th December 2008:
Hi Mitch!
I'm here at long last to review your fic. I do apologize for the delay-the last few weeks of the semester are always markedly busy ^_^

Hayden really is starting to grow on me as a character. As the story progresses, I'm beginning to see more of his flaws. He's a smart kid, but seems to be lacking in common sense. Certainly, he has all the tact of a fish out of water. I wonder if he'll truly be able to set things right between his parents.

I also truly enjoyed Hermione's last encounter with Draco. I certainly didn't expect him to pick up her books for her-how charming! Honestly, I do think Draco is capable of being a gentleman and you've done brilliantly revealing his genteel tendencies bit by bit.

I only noticed two small errors in this chapter. They are as follows.

Without watching Hermione's mouth fall open or give anyone else time to respond, Draco strode from the classroom.
This should be, giving anyone else...


Ron said sceptically, raising a brow.
This should be, skeptically


Thanks so much for giving me the opportunity to read this fic, Mitch! Feel free to stop by my queue and request again. Have a great week!

Best,
celticbard

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Review #7, by FanofCards25 

25th November 2008:
Well done. The chapters are getting better the further I read. Could Malfoy's attitude be changing towards Hermione? Guess I will have to read on to find out :) Keep up the good work.

Author's Response: Thank you very much for the comments you left. I'm glad you like it so far. :)

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Review #8, by gitgit 

14th November 2008:
oh wow
that was definatly an interesting chapter
and lol i love how hayden told draco off

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Review #9, by EchoLynn 

7th November 2008:
Another interesting chapter... I've apparently already reviewed your first three chapters long ago... since its added to my favorites lol. But I must tell you that I will wait to read the rest until its finished... great stories like this drive me crazy if I can't finish it just yet lol... Awsome! 10

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Review #10, by SpringTime 

5th November 2008:
I was just about to mention Cho being in their class. I love the similarities that Hayden shares with both of his parents. You have really illustrated that well. I also really enjoyed the part where you start to show that Malfoy is just a kid picking on the girl he likes in the playground. Wasn't sure how you were going to bring about their relationship, but now I can see where it is developing. I like how it isn't one of those immediate attractions either.

Author's Response: Thank you for the review again. I love it. And I am glad you enjoyed this chapter somehow. ^__^
I actually wrote this chapter when I thought Cho was a sixth year. oops. So I had to justify that in the next chapters. x.X


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Review #11, by rowenaravenclaw94 

18th October 2008:
omgizzle! draco did something considerate! good job! 10/10! :)
-xoxo, rowenaravenclaw94

Author's Response: Yeah, he did. :) Thank you for leaving a comment. :)

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Review #12, by SilverEssence 

12th October 2008:
HAHA! gotta love hayden, and malfoy running! wonderful job!!
but he can't fall for cho! he has naomi!! garrrhh.
you have me hooked!

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Review #13, by Mistress 

8th October 2008:
Oh, Cho Chang. She is such an interesting character.

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Review #14, by TantheCan 

9th June 2008:
Interesting twist with Naomi's real background. Very interesting.

Loved the encounter between Ron and Hayden. I still think Ron would not be that accepting of someone like Hayden, but I understand how you wrote it.

I also feel like there should still be some mystery with Hayden, and Hermione shouldn't be so accepting of him. I mean after all this does take place after Half Blood Prince, and this is during the war with Voldemort on the rise. Unless of course, you're writing this story without THAT specific back story.

I think your story would be more entertaining as it is now if there was difficultly in Hayden getting Hermione to trust him.

Overall, it was great chapter! Loved the ending!

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Review #15, by Shellee 

12th May 2008:
Aw, Ron. Hayden fancies a girl! So lovely! I'm also wondering why she hasn't told him anything. Good that Ron seems to tolerate Hayden now and things. I don't get why Cho first seems disgusted and then she keeps on blushing. I love it. How Draco suddenly did that and all.

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Review #16, by KaraBlack 

24th April 2008:
Holy cheese and crackers, Draco picked up hermione's stuff.

Just thought i'd say that! :D another amazing chapter in my opinion! Hayden knows his father well AND he's smart! and he likes a 'muggle' whose mother is cho chang! OMG! I love this story! :D

Its so amazing! Can't wait to read more 1000/10

Author's Response: Hey KaraBlack!
Thank you again for the review. :) Yes, Hayden likes a girl who he thought is a "muggle" but is actually a pure-blood. hehe :)


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Review #17, by JLHufflepuff 

10th April 2008:
I really like all the implications this chapter has.. I like the way Ron got angry at first and then started to be more understanding after finding out Hayden liked what he thought was a Muggle. I can't help but think after all is said and done Hayden is going to realize that it's IMPOSSIBLE to save his mum and dad because they aren't suited to each other.. However, I like what Hayden said that kind of implied Draco had been semi-interested in Hermione before. Hrm... The whole thing with Naomi seems interesting, and I can't wait to find out more! :)

Author's Response: Hi Jessi, nice to see another wonderful review from you again. :) Yeah, Ron started to be more understanding towards Hayden when he realized that Hayden was NOT interested in Hermione but in another girl, and most impressively, a "Muggle". "Impressive" because Hayden was (for Ron and Hermione) a Slytherin.
Yeah, you're right. There will be a time for Hayden when he realizes that his parents just don't suit to each other, and he wants to give up. But his parents aren't his only concern. There are: Cho (Naomi's mum), and Naomi herself, and then Ginny. Hayden didn't know Harry until he met him in the past. So what happened to him in the future? And why was Hermione crying when she stared on the magical picture with her, Ron and Harry? So many questions...

Thank you for reviewing this chapter. I promise it gets more interesting. :D


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Review #18, by Weasley Wizarding Wheezes 

8th April 2008:
It just keeps getting better and better! Only thing this time is that technically, Hayden is a half-blood since his mother is muggleborn. Change that and you're good to go. Flows nicely.

Author's Response: Oh, yeah! I am gonna change that. Or I'll just justify that in an explanation in later chapters. :) Thank you for the review.

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Review #19, by onestop_hpfan18 

5th April 2008:
Hey, back to review --

I liked this chapter. Excellent characterization and description. Keep up the great job.

Author's Response: Thank you. :)

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Review #20, by Girldetective85 

25th March 2008:
WOW! Hayden actually talked Malfoy into doing something nice! I guess he touched the right nerve, didn't he? “If you would just once, Malfoy, just once show her the respect she deserves, I assure you she will start to notice you,” he hissed through clenched teeth, pointing a threatening finger at Draco’s face. “You know what I’m talking about.” LOVE IT! I guess Draco never thought that anyone would ever know or find out about his secret love for Hermione.

One of my favorite things about this chapter was the Slytherin/Gryffindor dichotomy and how you nicely showed that there is so much prejudice between the two houses. It's not really just another house anymore you know, but the bad house! There's a lot of stereotyping and it's good that Hayden is not the typical Slytherin.

He loves Naomi!! I think that she may not have known she was a half-blood; otherwise she would have told Hayden for sure, I think. Maybe they just told her that Cho was a weirdo and then sent her off to live with Muggles ... I hope Cho is okay, I wonder what happened to her!

You've got everyone in PERFECT character - Draco is perfect, Ron is perfect, Hermione is perfect. This is a brilliantly written story, Mitch. Great job! On to the next chapter :)

Author's Response: Oh thank you for the review. Yeah, Draco was quite surprised when someone knew about his secret love for Hermione.

W/R/T Naomi, well, in this chapter you can't really tell if she had known she was a witch. But yes, he loves her. You're right, not sure yet whether as a dear friend or as a girl. :) Hey, you just gave me an idea about Cho! :) Thanks, teehee...


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Review #21, by Ginerva_Potter 

23rd March 2008:
Great chapter! I laughed, out loud, so hard and Hayden's comeback about being homosexual! Genius! I usually don't laugh out loud while reading stories, so great job!


As always, your characterization was great. Snape was great, especially how he responded to Hayden. I loved Hayden's answer! You supplied a really intelligent response without quoting someone else's response from the book. Good job! I really enjoyed the end bit where Hayden says:

“If you would just once, Malfoy, just once show her the respect she deserves, I assure you she will start to notice you,” he hissed through clenched teeth, pointing a threatening finger at Draco’s face. “You know what I’m talking about.”

Draco's reaction was totally in character, still, and believable. You have been dropping the hints all along that Draco really likes Hermione, so this fits with that, but also doesn't get rid of his nasty outward demeanor. That's a tricky thing to accomplish, but you did it very well.

One error I found: Cho Chang is in the seventh year, so she wouldn't be in that class. I don't know if you would want to change this because of how the scene is played out, but if you do, maybe you could just have Hayden thinking about Cho or Naomi. However, that wouldn't allow Corner to get mad at Hayden, so idk if that would work. Just thought I would point it out though.

Nice work!

Author's Response: Thank you for the amazing review (I really should come up with a term for "amazing"). Oh, hehe about Cho, I will make something up to justify that thing about Cho's age. Maybe I will make it like Cho just had a sit-in in the sixth year class. Dunno... let's see... Again, thank you so much! :)

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Review #22, by starry_night89 

22nd March 2008:
Awww, finally a snippet of Dramione in the end. I could sit here and rant about how much I love this story and how it was a shock to know that Naomi's Cho chang's kid but I have to read the next chapter!

Great chapter btw!

Author's Response: There will be more Dramiones, I just needed to set the plot first... Hehe :) Yeah, Naomi's Cho's daughter. Why is it a shock for you? :(

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Review #23, by Gords7015 

7th March 2008:
Another neat chapter. I'm guessing the Hayden knew the answer based on what was in Hermoine's books that he read in the books she left him. Again, a good chapter!

Author's Response: Yes, exactly. Hermione left many notes in her old books. But remember that Hayden is not using his mother's books in this era. He 'Gemino' all of Hermione's books before class began...

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Review #24, by Lillylover22 

6th March 2008:
LOL!! that was excellent!!! 10/10 =] GO HAYDEN!!

Author's Response: Oh, thanks. ^_^

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Review #25, by AussieAnatomy627 

3rd March 2008:
I really like how hayden is slowly changing Draco.

Author's Response: Thank you. Yeah, he's got a lot of work to do to change his father. ^_^

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