106 Reviews Found

Review #1, by someone___1 

13th November 2012:
Huh. This is the first Merope/Riddle story I've ever seen, and I am absolutely fascinated. It's an unique tale, and I can't wait to see what you do with it.

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Review #2, by georgeandfred 

6th January 2012:
this is really cool :) i iwlll keep reading! p.s. are they speaking pareltongue??

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Review #3, by mdog04 

13th November 2011:
Hey! Congratulations on all these awards! I really enjoy looking in to Merope and most of all Morfin! During the 6th book I became so interested in Morfin so thank you! Just one quick question. If Voldemort wasn't born yet, than the necklace couldn't have been a horcrux so it couldn't have strangled Morfin. Is their another reason it strangled him? please explain. BUT AMAZING JOB!

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Review #4, by zeynep 

9th September 2011:
I always wanted to know about Merope too. it's a very interesting story. I can't wait to read more :)

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Review #5, by marisalovesharry 

25th September 2010:
Wow never thought of them as story material.

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Review #6, by _Maya_ 

28th July 2009:
Wow, I love the way you've written Merope.

Author's Response: Thanks Maya! I'm glad you liked the beginning of this story and I hope you'll like the rest :)

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Review #7, by Ravie_girl29 

10th May 2009:
Intresting, I wanna keep reading

Author's Response: Thanks! I hope you do keep reading and please let me know what you think :)

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Review #8, by rosie_sirius93 

21st January 2009:
Fantastic first chapter, can't wait to read more!! I think you did a brilliant job of portraying all of the characters, particularly how Merope is treated by her father and how Tom Riddle looks down on her as though she is disgusting and how she was imaging herself with him, it's so sad! And I liked the idea of the necklace only liking her, very original and a clever way of explaining why she has it as Marvolo wouldn't likely give such a precious family heirloom to his daughter particularly because she is a Squib.

Author's Response: I'm happy that you liked my characterization of Merope! She is a very tragic character who only wants to be loved, and this constant rejection and hate from everyone will force her to make even more tragic decisions. *sigh* Glad you liked the locket! There is a reason why it likes her the best and you're absolutely right, Marvolo is a huge jerk and would never give his daughter the locket unless it tried to strangle everyone else!

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Review #9, by sazel_c 

27th October 2008:
Wow, I can't wait to read this! This is a really awesome idea! Always wanted to read one like this!

Author's Response: Thanks sazel! I hope you liked this :)

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Review #10, by savagebeginnings 

25th October 2008:
Hi! This is babygohan from the forums! I know you only asked for reviews on chapters 12 and 13, but since I'd read this before I figured that I'd go ahead and fill in some of the extra reviews!

I thought this was an excellent first chapter! I loved the portrayal of Merope that you show and the horrible but believable way that her family treats her. Not to mention the perfect way that you show her want of Tom Riddle and his revulsion of her!

Overall, this is an excellent chapter that perfectly sets everything up!

Author's Response: Wow! You are so generous, I appreciate it so very much - I felt bad about taking up so much of your time so I only requested a couple of the later chapters, knowing that this storyline is pretty self-explanatory (since we all pretty much know about Voldemort's mother's story turns out). But thank you!

I'm so glad you liked this opening chapter. It was very important to me to have a strong opener, to display the character's situation realistically, and to present the conflict and the motive for escaping her horrible life!

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Review #11, by RoseLolly 

18th October 2008:
Oh wow, this was so well done. Though, of course, you must know that by now =) Anyway, I really must read on, because it's brilliant.


Author's Response: Hi Rose! I'm so proud and happy that you thought it was well done. :) I've worked really hard on this story so it's wonderful to hear that you enjoyed this first chapter! I hope you'll like the rest of it and thank you so much for reviewing :)

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Review #12, by Tor Petty 

14th October 2008:
Wow. A-a-mazing.

You did a most wonderful job setting the scene, making us believe that we are actually back in that time period. The language is so well-put, and the characterization seems spot on. Great job of weaving in canon, also. :}

Author's Response: Hey Tor! Thanks so much :D I'm glad you felt that this was authentic. I had a little trouble trying to make the dialogue and the setting all fit, so it's really encouraging to hear you say that.

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Review #13, by Stag Night 

6th October 2008:
All right, so I've been promising to review this for months now, and this is the week to do it! I tend to go longish, so don't worry yourself about trying to respond.

First of all... poor Merope. I love the way you write her, where it is so easy to be inside of her head and feel the jealousy that she does. Her lack of self esteem and pride is evident and you've characterized her wonderfully. The way you've written it makes it look like her lack of magical skill is due to her low confidence, and that works really well for her character. I enjoy the way she still daydreams about Tom, even knowing it's silly, but I can see that it is almost like an escape for her, to picture herself in Cecilia's shoes instead of her own. The backstory you create with her mother is an interesting one; I'm glad you include it, because HBP never even mentioned a mother. I like the necklace also; it is her only friend, and I love the story of how she came to own it. I wondered why Marvolo would give a precious family heirloom to the daughter he despised, and you supplied a good reason for that.

I hated Morfin and Marvolo, but then, I was supposed to, so you've done well with them! Morfin is lazy like his father and he obviously enjoys torturing his sister. Him sitting in a corner cackling while Marvolo screamed at Merope showed his odd nature early on. And it was nice to see Marvolo passed out in the end. At least Merope gets one break today! He's every bit of the lazy pig JKR created him as.

Anyway. You've done really well setting the mood for this story, and for this chapter especially. When it starts out watching a fairy tale sory of relationship between Tom and Cecilia, and wishing it was her instead, and then harshly brought to the reality of her own life by her screaming father... not to mention hearing Tom's words about her... And then she comes to realize she has little escape, and falls into despair... it's really easy to see why she would resort to something like a love potion in the end. And it's really easy to sympathize with her as well, which is, I think, what you were aiming for.

It was a really good first chapter :)

Author's Response: Hello hello!! Thanks so much for coming to review my story :) I've been really excited to hear what you think of it and now I get this lovely review!

I'm thrilled that you could identify with Merope. I actually borrowed the idea from canon that her magical skills were suppressed due to abuse and neglect - I think it was Dumbledore who suggested that she was actually a powerful witch whose potential wasn't realized until her brother and father were out of the picture. It makes a lot of sense since I can't picture any of Slytherin's descendants being really Squib-like. Merope has this horrible life that she's been dreaming of escaping for a long, long time, and she sees Tom as her meal ticket to freedom. Being Cecilia is all that she aspires to be in life.

Yay I'm so glad you like the backstory behind Mrs. Gaunt, as well as the locket which will become a hugely important figure as the story goes on. There's a lot more to it than meets the eye...

I imagine Marvolo passes out quite frequently - I'm not sure what useful thing he could do besides yelling, drinking, and falling asleep :D

Thanks so much, I'm so grateful that you liked the beginning of this story and I hope you'll enjoy the rest, dear!

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Review #14, by granpa harry 

30th May 2008:
I am new to the site. But I did enjoy your story. I read a few of the Q&A on your page.

You sound like a good kid. Good luck with your writing.

Author's Response: Well, welcome to the site :) And thanks for reading my story, I'm very glad that you enjoyed it. If you have any questions, feel free to post on that Q&A page - I am a good kid :P and will respond to all queries/comments.

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Review #15, by ButterflyRogue 

4th May 2008:
I remember having this story bookmarked for months now, but never seeming to find enough time to start reading it. The story about Tom Riddle Sr. and Merope was always intriguing to me and after all of the great comments you've had in the past Story Club sparkled my interest even more so I was pretty much very anxious to start reading it... :)

Well, to get to the point, I really enjoyed the way you've started the first chapter --- all the way from the quote at the beginning which I found very fitting.
Poor Merope... The little sight of her we had in HBP showed how badly she was treated, but you gave more depth to that torture by showing the stark difference between her life and the life she had been daydreaming about. I wonder was such lack of love throughout her entire life the reason why she so desperately wished for a prince charming to save her from her father and brother? If things were a bit different, maybe she wouldn't have turned to such drastic methods...
I also like the way you showed the peculiar connection the locket had with her. As if it somehow knew she would be the mother of Voldemort and gave her strength because of that. I wonder will the locket have a role in her decision to give a love potion to Tom...

Excellent start! I'm eager to read more!!

~Rosie Nymphadora from eHPf

Author's Response: Oh hi Rosie!! It's great to hear from you :) Yeah I've had a lot of really great support and encouragement on this story, and everyone's been really nice! I was very excited to be able to discuss it on Story Club and bounce ideas off of everyone.

It must have been a very bleak existence for Merope, sort of Cinderella-esque. I'm positive she did most of the cooking, cleaning, and taking care of her father and brother, who didn't treat her any better than the dirt beneath their shoes. I wanted to explore what a person subjected to that kind of treatment would be like; what they would think and feel, how they would act. In Merope's case, she has a desperation for love and escape that only Tom can really give her.

The locket, in my story at least, will be an extremely important element that offers guidance and companionship, yet it has its own sinister goals to accomplish. It will come out in time!

Thanks so much for your review Rosie :)

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Review #16, by shadowycorner 

3rd May 2008:
Finally a decent Merope story I stumbled upon. Wonderful insight into her feelings this was! The atmosphere and setting was described very well. It will be interesting to discover and delve more deeply into these characters, especially Merope and Tom.

I'm excited as to what will come next. Great start. Simple and so engaging. :)


Author's Response: Hi Liz! :) Thanks so much! One of the big attractions for me in writing this story was the fact that it forced me to be original, which was a great challenge for me and an opportunity to flex my writing muscle. JKR's storyline was there, I just had to expand and flesh it out. Glad you liked the beginning, and I will definitely be delving deeper into Merope and Tom, as well as other characters.

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Review #17, by gryffindorseeker 

2nd May 2008:
First thing: I've wanted to read this story since last September. I'm useless.

Second thing: I'm terribly behind on the EHPF Story Club. Again, I'm useless.

But I've finally got around to reading this, and it's just as wonderful as I thought it would be! I think it's brilliant that you're writing a story about Merope, cos her son ends up being a pretty significant canon character. Also, I love tragic, misguided love stories. Happy endings are boring.

You've characterized Merope, Tom, Marvolo, and Morfin exactly as I imagined them. Merope seems to be the right sort of tortured soul, and I love her conversation with the snake locket. Is that a Parseltongue thing? (Or is it just a particularly chatty locket? Or has Merope gone insane?)

I love your descriptions as well. I'm rubbish at descriptive language, so I admire anyone who's got a good handle on it. You can just see the Gaunt house...it's clear without being overly described.

Tom is such a jerk, but I love him that way. Maybe cos I'm picturing him as Colin Firth. Yep, that's probably it =P. Kidding, I always thought of Tom Sr. as a bit nasty, but in that lovable bad boy way.

Hmm, I think I've rambled enough. Lovely first chapter, and I hope to catch up when my professors stop assigning me these silly essays.

Author's Response: Hey! No, no you're not useless :) I've been wanting to read "We Gryffies" because everyone's been raving about it, so I guess we're even :D I'm pretty behind on the Story Club too actually, I've only been able to post because I've read all of the stories already (with the exception of Renny's last 10 chapters or so) so no biggie!

Woo-hoo I'm excited that you enjoyed my "pilot" for this story! I'm also a big fan of unhappy endings (I was definitely an advocate for Harry dying at the end of DH) - I just think they make a bigger impact.

Hee hee the snake locket is talking to Merope in her mind. I think of it as a sort of connection to the person who's wearing it, because it basically chooses who can put it on. It's a very chatty locket!

Oooh Colin Firth as Tom Riddle - why didn't I think of that?! Hmm maybe I'll use him as an older Tom Riddle!

Thanks for your review, I'm really glad you enjoyed it and don't worry about reviewing if you're short on time. I hope you enjoy the rest! :)

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Review #18, by momotwins 

30th April 2008:
Wow! I've been meaning to read this for ages, I've always thought Merope and Tom Sr's story would make an interesting fic, I felt so sorry for her in the books. She's a sad character. This is a great start, I love your characterization and the twists you've added to the story thus far.

Author's Response: Hello hello! :) I think Merope's a very sad character too and she's the perfect heroine for a tragic angst-y story! I felt bad for her in the books as well and thought she deserved so much more than just one tiny scene. Thanks very much for your review, I'm glad you liked how this has started! :)

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Review #19, by Weasley Wizarding Wheezes 

20th April 2008:
This is so sickeningly good, I just want to give you a round of applause. Everything seems so likely, and canon it's as if it's an excerpt straight out of the book.

The names you chose are perfect for the time and place, and the idea of a talking locket is brilliant. At least poor Merope has some companion.

I just wanted to point out that when Marvolo was screaming for Merope, it says "ME-RO-PEEE", which make the end look like 'pee', and her name is pronounce with a silent 'e'. Maybe it was intentional, but I thought I should point it out just in case.

While I'm pointing out things, if I were you I'd consider making Morfin meaner. I know he's mean now, but I always thought he was just as bad as his father.

It's no big deal, just my opinion. It's still amazing. The descriptions were really, really good too. A 10!

Mystery Marauder, by the way. Sorry for not reviewing for so long.

Author's Response: Thank you so much :) I think that's one of the best compliments a fanfic author can hear (that the work is like canon) and I really appreciate that. All of the names that appeared in the first chapter are in fact canon, and it's JKR who chose the names Merope, Tom, Cecilia, etc.

Yeah, I suppose it's good that the locket provides her with companionship! For the time being at least. Obviously it doesn't do this without expecting some payment in return but yeah she has someone (or rather someTHING lol) on her side.

Actually the name "Merope" does end with a "pee" sound lol. I know, I wanted to say "Mer-rope" at first too but it's a Greek name so keep in mind the "e" is pronounced. It's along the same lines as "Hermione" or "Penelope."

Yeah Morfin will be much meaner later on, I agree that in this chapter he was just kind of ... how to put this delicately ... kooky. :D

Thank you very much for your review!!

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Review #20, by morgana67 

19th April 2008:
Arg! it's happened again. I left a review for this chapter a little while back and it didn't show, so I thought I do it again.

First of all, my apologies for taking so long to get to this story but my laptop is dead and I have been having to use work, the library and interntet cafes but things should go back to normal by mid next week.

I love your characterisation and the style of this story. The language is very varied without being overdone. In my humble opinion is actually just right. I love the detail that you add to the story whilst keeping everything canon too.

Ah, I'm very intrigued about the locket. I love how it would attack her father and brother but not her. I wonder whether her downfall has something to do with the fact that she sold it in the end.

Author's Response: Oh, that's all right! :) No problem at all, thanks very much for coming by. I'm thrilled that the characterization and style both worked for you. I'm not going to vouch for it being 100% accurate to that time period or that location in England (someone mentioned that it seems a little bit more in the past than the 1920's) but I thought my language seemed okay and I'm glad you did too. :)

The locket's one of my favorite parts to write about! It certainly chose her, didn't it? As though she is the one worthy of wearing it...

Thanks again for your review :)

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Review #21, by celticbard 

16th April 2008:
Wow, this story is nothing short of amazing. I loved nearly everything about it, the characters, the vivid descriptions and the tight, realistic dialogue. You've taken a minor character (Merope) and elaborated on her story magnificently. She's complex, flawed and thoroughly likeable. This fic is really one of a kind and I cannot wait to read the rest.

I'm afraid I don't have much to criticize, but I do think the first paragraph needs just a little tweaking. These first three sentences...

"The girl crouched beside the window, arms folded on the sill, half hidden by the dusty, ragged cloth that served as a curtain. It was a beautiful day, the kind of delicious summer afternoon that lured young and old alike out to the grassy fields under the sky, as cool and blue as deep water. Even the smelly, trash-strewn yard, dappled by sunlight through the trees, seemed cheerful on a day like this."

.have the same structure and therefore, give the prose a repetitive feel. Now, this is easily remedied. Perhaps you would consider restructuring one or two of these sentences? For example,

"The girl crouched beside the window, arms folded on the sill, half hidden by the dusty, ragged cloth that served as a curtain. It was a beautiful day, the kind of delicious summer afternoon that lured young and old alike out to the grassy fields. The sky was as cool and blue as deep water. Even the smelly, trash-strewn yard seemed cheerful on a day likes this with dappled sunlight streaming through the trees."

Sorry for being nitpicky, but honestly, this story is wonderful. Also, I'm curious, is Cecilia's last name a reference to Miss Ingram from Charlotte Bronte's "Jane Eyre"?

Anyway, I really loved this, girldetective. Good luck!


Author's Response: No don't apologize! Thanks so much for pointing that out. Repetition is a no-no so I'll definitely go back and try to clean that up a bit :) I've got an idea of how to fix it up and it'll be along the lines of your example, so yeah!

Thanks for the kind words! I'm very happy to expand on a minor character who has always struck a chord with me, and it's nice and very, very fun to be able to explore her story in fanfiction.

You are absolutely right! You are the first person to mention that reference to Blanche Ingram, Mr. Rochester's "fiancee" from "Jane Eyre." I had just finished re-reading that book for the zillionth time at the start of this story, and I thought the name "Ingram" sounded so highbrow and perfect for Cecilia. :)

I appreciate your review so much and hope you'll continue to be as nitpicky as you like! I aim to improve after all, and there is a ton of room for that!

- Jules :)

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Review #22, by Chappe 

13th April 2008:
Aha! This is a brilliant first chapter, Girldetective. I love how you opened it with a portrayal of Merope's shyness. You have a great characterization of her so far - You've capture her timidity, yet desire to be a part of the wizarding world beyond her so perfectly.

I love the dialogue by the way. Especially this one line (even though its small, it had me ROLLING): "GIRL! MIND THAT WATER!" Your portrayal of her father is so realistic. You've made him to be a cackling and senile old crone; JUST as JK herself had pictured him.

And the snake locket being able to talk to Merope was GENIUS. Who would have thought that such a small object would have them bound so closely by magic?

As for anything else, surprisingly --I haven't been able to find a single flaw so far ;)

Great chapter so far, I'm about to read the next few of them as I've promised

Author's Response: Hey Chappe! Glad you liked it so far :) Yes I wanted the story to kick off with Merope's life thus far, and to start it off with her sitting by the window - something she has done her entire life. Haha and I'm also happy that you liked Marvolo's characterization! He is definitely a cackling, senile old crone for sure, and an evil git to boot.

Yeah the idea of the talking locket actually just came into my brain one night - what if it was more than just a necklace? It's a magical object with a great legacy, why shouldn't it be endowed with weird creepy powers of its own? So yeah, you will see more of this later on. :)

Thanks a lot!

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Review #23, by Potter_fan 

10th April 2008:
Hiya! I'm Hogwarts_Castle from the forums filling your request for reviews :)

First, I'd like to apologize for the long time it took me to review.

Second, I'd like to thank you for asking me to review this awesome fic! It is so creative and original, I simply loved reading it.

I think the idea with the snake talking to Merope was brilliant. I also liked the way you showed her being tortured by her bro and father, that was really heart breaking. The dialogues and setting and way of writing are all true to that time- old fashioned and perfectly fitting.

Everything was very well done. Ugh, I dont want to sound like I'm flattering you or something. It really was brillaint work. I'm adding it to my faves!

One little thing that I think can be changed it when Merope whispers "Damn it!" when her apron got cuaght in the window and the muggles looked up. I think that looked kind of Ooc. She should have been frightened of being discovered at that point and no angry. So somehting like "Oh, no, please help me God" or somehting would be right.


Love it!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks very much for fulfilling my request :) I'm super glad that you thought it was creative and original, which was my intent since I hadn't found any full-length Merope stories before and I just decided to write one of my own. :D

Glad you liked the locket talking to her! That was one of those moments where I was just lying in bed and sat bolt upright and said, "Hey. What if the Horcrux could talk to her and manipulate her? What if it was helping her on her way?" Because why on Earth would Marvolo Gaunt entrust the locket to a daughter that he looked down on? Logic told me that maybe the locket "chose" her ;)

Hey, it's okay to flatter me because I am very flattered by your kind review :) Thanks for pointing out your opinion about Merope being OoC. I just thought maybe that she would have picked up some "bad language" from living around a potty-mouth like Marvolo all her life. ;) Thanks a million!

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Review #24, by _DearMyLove_ 

29th March 2008:
All I can say is…wow…this is a fantastic beginning. I really liked how you portrayed Merope. Her whole character is fascinating to me and you’ve captured her almost exactly as I’d imagined, although you’ve added a bit more feistiness, such as the bit when she runs out of the house, which is really interesting.

I saw a few spelling mistakes (or rather Word saw them! :D)
‘guility’ – I think should be ‘guiltily’
‘drily’ – I think its ‘dryly’
‘moldy carrots’ – quite a gross image (lol). I think ‘moldy’ should be ‘mouldy’

Your writing is absolutely outstanding. I love the way you show little details which really help with picturing everything. And your really good with the ‘show not tell’ technique so it’s really awesome to read your writing! ^_^ I loved this bit at the start:
‘It was a beautiful day, the kind of delicious summer afternoon that lured young and old alike out to the grassy fields under the sky, as cool and blue as deep water.’
Oh and the description of Cecilia is wonderful, although she does seem a bit…too perfect at the moment. I guess all that’s been shown of her is very brief though. And the bit with Merope and Marvolo was really great. Ooh and the locket talking to her was really interesting and original. I’m eager to find out what happens there. Oh and I’d like to say that I love the banner and chapter image, especially the fact that the chapter image is so relevant to what goes on in the chapter! :D

Basically, brilliant first chapter, definitely makes me want to read on and find out what’s going to happen. I’m eager to discover how Merope and Tom discover each other…at the moment they seem in such completely different worlds! Well, I guess I’ll just have to read on, won’t I? ^_^

Author's Response: Wow thanks for such a long review :) Merope is a truly intriguing character and it has been a challenge to work an entire novel around her, since most of the background details had to be made up (there is very little about her and her life in canon). I think it wasn't so much feistiness as it was being fed up with the way she had been treated; she is meek and subservient but I think even she must have had her breaking points and that was one of them.

Spelling errors!! I am so ashamed! :D Thank you for pointing those out ... "guiltily" is definitely the correct way to spell it. "Drily" and "moldy" are, however, correct - and so are your spellings of "dryly" and "mouldy." I think both forms of each word are acceptable. Thanks for pointing them out!

Cecilia is meant to be perfect. She is being seen through Merope's eyes and she is the epitome of everything Merope currently wants to be - beautiful, rich, and loved by Tom. Her character will be fleshed out much more ... starting from Chapter 4 onward, there will actually be scenes from her POV.

Glad you liked the locket talking to her! It was my own personal spin on the future Horcrux and will be explained in detail later on. You'll see it many more times and the way that it helps Merope achieve what she wants.

Thanks for the compliment on the chapter image, and for all of your kind words! :) I appreciate your feedback!

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Review #25, by Bella_Portia 

27th March 2008:
I thought it was terrific, the way you got into the head of Merope. She's generally a sympathetic character (IMHO), but you really make the reader feel her desparation and her longing.

The original idea -- of the locket having an affinity for her alone, to the point that it speaks to her -- was inspired. It is as though old Slytherin, who knows she'll be the one to preserve his line, is helping things along.

Great job.

Author's Response: Hi Bella! Thanks for your review. :)

I agree with you - Merope is a very sympathetic character, and I definitely wanted her to be more than just someone to feel sorry for. I wanted her to be believable and for her yearning for a better life to be respected instead of just pitied.

You know, you're the first reader to have mentioned that about the locket. Very, very astute of you... :) The locket is surely singling Merope out and by talking to her and only her, and constantly helping her out (you'll see it many, many more times throughout the story), it's controlling her under a guise of friendship.

My idea that the locket can communicate plays on the fact that smart, inanimate objects are creepy! (And often have ulterior motives for what they "do")

Thank you so much!

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