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74 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ykai 

12th December 2010:
That was nice.. Haha! Genius like his mother.. I wonder why Slughorn didn't press for more info.. Hmm.. Anyway.. Great, great!

Author's Response: Let's just say it was because he didn't care much about "ordinary" students. :D

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Review #2, by 1DarkAngel1 

15th November 2009:
wow! this chapter is so awsome!

Author's Response: Thanks for the comment, hun! :)

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Review #3, by Breatheonme 

7th August 2009:
Great chapter once again.

Author's Response: Thank you! :)

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Review #4, by TheLittlestLestrange 

6th June 2009:
"espeacially not harry potters." no no no! musn't steal harry potters glory its just... etched into his DNA. without his glory he doesn't exist. lol I like the stroy so far... like a lot

Author's Response: Thank you! :)

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Review #5, by spreaddapoo93 

5th June 2009:
BEAUTIFUL!!! My fingers are twitching... Can't write anymore, gotta read the next chapter! BYE!

Author's Response: Sure sure! Thanks for the comment anyway, hun! :)

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Review #6, by Tinkerbell01 

29th May 2009:
Hello m'dear! I'm finally here to review! Sorry it's taken me so long. I've just haven't had the get up and go to review like I did there for awhile, but here I am, back in action! :p

I remember reading this story awhile back and adding it to my favorites. Your writing is simply amazing. The way you describe Hayden's thoughts to both his mother and father, are simply astounding. I don't think I have any criticism for you dear.

Wonderfully done! I can't wait to find out what happens next in Hayden's adventure to save Hermione and his parents marriage!

*Alicia

Author's Response: Thank you, Alicia! :)
Sorry for responding just now. I'm glad you liked it so far.


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Review #7, by Linn 

22nd May 2009:
Great original story. Just started it tonight, seems great so far:D
Love your style in writing :]

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Review #8, by Phoenix_Flames 

2nd March 2009:
Wow. Hello there, dear! I'm here with your reivew again!

I'm so glad you requested for the third chapter and I'm sorry it took me so long to get around to this. I've been so busy and I would have forgotten to add this to my to-read list if you hadn't requested. :D

But, anyways.

This story is developing wonderfully. It really is. It has such a nice, refreshing and new plot. I've never erad anything like it.

Your writing is very impressive and your story just keeps getting more and more in depth. I love how you ended the chapter. It was nearly chilling.

This was wonderful. As I have a very large queue right now, I don't have time to continue reading, but I would love to read more, so you are welcome to request for the coming chapters.

I can't wait! XD

9/10

Author's Response: Thank you for the kind words, PF! :) I'm glad you liked this chapter too. I'll be requesting more reviews soon. :)

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Review #9, by Love Made Visible 

5th February 2009:
I was quite worried at the end of the last chapter about how you were going to have Hermione react to Hayden's random outburst, but lo and behold my faith is restored. It was exactly how I imagined Hermione to react. She's not soppy and she certainly does not suffer fools, but she's not cold either - and I think you wrote her reaction extremely well. She kept her distance but she still seemed quite concerned. And I had to laugh out loud in the way that Hayden gathered himself afterwards, making that feeble attempt to flirt with her was extremely humorous. Even though this is quite an emotional, heartbreaking story I admire the way you're throwing hints of humour in here to break things up a little bit and lighten the mood, it works really well and doesn't take any of the drama out of the story at all.

Something that struck me and made me quite unsure was this: "Ginny turned around and flounced away," I'm not sure Ginny is the sort of girl that would flounce anywhere if I'm honest. I don't mean to be nit-picky but it just jumped off the page at me. But I do like how she joined a load of fifth years and walked with them to her lesson, because Ginny was an extremely pretty, popular girl and I imagined her to get along with everyone and fit in with a lot of people; therefore I liked how you added that. It's your attention to detail which I admire, these small things are what set your story apart from the other time-travelling fics.

I noticed that Hayden accidently slipped the word 'dad' in there whilst he was talking to Hermione. Wouldn't she notice that? She's extremely perceptive and I highly doubt that she would miss him referring to Draco as dad. In this chapter I just fell in love with your descriptions, they're really indepth, well written and thoroughly inspiring, keep up the good work. Your use of imagery is absolutely excellent, the scene easily unfolded in my mind and flowed like a river - wonderful. I thought it was particularly humorous when you described Slughorn's moustache as 'dancing'. Another great chapter, I'm really interested in seeing how this unfolds.

LMV

Author's Response: Hi again! Thank you again for this review! I was a bit worried how people would react to Hayden's reaction to Hermione. He's her son and he 'flirted' with her. People usually get this part wrong, like Hayden has a hidden attraction for his mother.

Yeah, I thought, too, that Ginny must've been very popular when she was a teenager. Okay, I think I'll change that word "flounce" if it bothers you. :)

Well, Hermione didn't notice it just now, but she'll be the first one who'll get suspicious about Hayden. She'd just ignored it this time, and was probably only distracted by the fact that Hayden (a Slytherin) was accompanying her to their next class, even carrying her books, that she didn't notice Hayden slipped the word 'dad' when he was talking about Draco.

Again, thank you for the wonderful review. :)


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Review #10, by Pingo 

10th January 2009:
Just wanted to say that Fallstar did a great job editing this chapter! Great! :D

Author's Response: Yeah, I'm thankful to Fallstar, too. :)

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Review #11, by Browneyes101 

11th December 2008:
I'm back! :)

I loved this chapter, I'm really starting to fall in love with Hayden. He is such a gentleman that's it's hard not to love him; I've always wanted a gentlemanly boyfriend, they're so hard to find nowadays.

Their was only one thing that I saw that needs fixing:

"He suddenly wished he were Cupid that he could shoot an arrow through the hearts of his mum and dad and so co-join them and cause them have true and requited love."

You should have a comma between Cupid and that and a to inbetween them and have.

Once again, this was beautiful! Please come back and request more I want to see how this ends.

Hope I helped. 10/10

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Review #12, by FanofCards25 

25th November 2008:
Good Job on this chapter. I was well written and flowed better than the previous chapters. I like how you write Hayden's persona as being part Hermione and part Draco. Keep up the good work :)

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Review #13, by gitgit 

14th November 2008:
oh wow
that was definatly an interesting chapter
and are hayden's foster parents of no importance?

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Review #14, by SpringTime 

5th November 2008:
This was a good chapter, I like how you incorporated the scene from HBP, but you didn't change the outcome of HBP by having Hayden perform well. The only thing I would change is that when Hermione laughs at Hayden's suggestion of getting Draco to Love her I think she should say something along the lines of "why in the world would I want that, i hate draco..." (but that is just me). I liked th awkwardness after the surprise hug attack, and how Ginny jumped to the wrong conclusion. See you next chapter. :)

Author's Response: Oooh, great suggestion. I love it! I'll fix it right away. :D Thank you for the review. ^__^

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Review #15, by rowenaravenclaw94 

18th October 2008:
he needs to talk to dumbledore. isn't it kind of bizarre that he's just going to these classes in a school where nobody's ever even heard of him before? good job... 10/10!
-xoxo, rowenaravenclaw94

Author's Response: There is a higher magic altering everyone's memory when they are near Hayden...and this is what protects his identity. :)

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Review #16, by SilverEssence 

11th October 2008:
great work!, just again, if you could clarify something: was malfoy like, abusive and overpowering in their marriage? or am i going to have to read more to find all this out? i'm fine with that, i'd just like to have a bit more background info please:)
great work!!
xx

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Review #17, by Mistress 

8th October 2008:
haha the first line is great,


"Hermione, I didn't know what effect you have on blokes," Ginny whispered through her giggle.

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Review #18, by TantheCan 

9th June 2008:
I kind of got a weird Oedipus Complex vibe at the beginning of this chapter, but its all cool now.

Liking the interaction between Hermione and Hayden; I want to see more father/son encounters as well though!

I also like how you're using the real events of HBP in your story, to make it seem more real; great idea.

I also feel like Hermione is some what out of character here. I don't see her trusting someone line Hayden so quickly. Hermione is very methodical and logical; she doesn't let her emotions overrule her, but I will wait and see what happens as the chapters go by...

I'm also shocked that Ron and Harry have nothing to say about Hayden's sudden friendship with Hermione.

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Review #19, by singerhotti24 

7th June 2008:
Well, this is my last review for the day :)
I'd keep on reviewing, but I'd rather the next ones be of praise, and one of those "OMG UPDATE SOON!" ones :)

You should really get someone to look through your chapters, because your previous beta missed alot of commas that need to be put in, and some re-phrasing, to make the flow of the story better :)

Once more, I am going to praise you on your genius. Hayden is a beautiful name, and a great character. One, that I believe I have fallen in love with :)

I am about to add this story to my favorites :) If I notice anything when I pull this story back up (I have a couple others to review as well) I will tell you if I see any grammer errors.

Thank you so much for requesting me to review this! It's a great story!

Sincerely,

singerhotti24

Author's Response: THANKYOU singerhotti24!!! Your CCs are awesome, as well as your review. hehehe I'm so glad you liked the story. :)

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Review #20, by crazy4fred2 

4th June 2008:
Sorry this review is so late!!!

Your detail and descriptions are phenominal.

"A silver as youthful as gold..." Lovely, but somewhat confusing.

I like jow you have us wondering who the time traveling kid is.

Ron is very much in character.

I don't know if this was intentional, but "with an outfit from the future is italicized.

I enjoyed the allusion to Icarus.

I like how you use cliffhangers :)

Overall I very much liked this story :)

Author's Response: It's okay, hun! :)
Yeah, actually the "with an outfil from the future" the whole sentence should be italicized because it's Hayden's thought. I just fixed it. Thanks for pointing that out. :)
Yay, I'm glad you liked the chapter. :)


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Review #21, by Shellee 

11th May 2008:
Aw, he's such an affectionate guy =) I have a very horrible feeling that Hermione is going to end up falling in love with her son, even though she doesn't know he's her son. He's just too nice already. Wouldn't people notice that he's a new guy? People just don't get into Hogwarts right in the middle of a year, right? Hm. Curious!

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Review #22, by KaraBlack 

24th April 2008:
Another great chapter, i love how little hayden is so worried that he's going to steal Hermione's thunder and its great to know that he has the same questions as i do!

I can't wait to find out what happens next! Your story is great and super amazing 10/10 (that's the same rating for the others as well!)

Author's Response: Hehe, yeah. I'm glad you liked it. :) Thanks for the rating. :)

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Review #23, by onestop_hpfan18 

5th April 2008:
Hey, back to review --

Great job with this chapter. Though, I believe the potion they were making in HBP was The Daught of Living Death... Or something of the sort. Felix Felicis was just the prize for who ever got closest to the end result. But that's the only think I saw wrong. Overall, this chapter flowed nicely together. Keep up the great work.

Author's Response: Are you sure? Daught of the Living Death??? Waah ... I don't remember it anymore, it's been so long since I last read HBP. I'll try to fix that when I have time. Thank you for pointing that out. :)

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Review #24, by JLHufflepuff 

4th April 2008:
I really like the depth that this idea seems to have. You are using Hayden to analyze just WHY ON EARTH Hermione and Draco would ever fall for each other. It doesn't make sense, especially to Hayden, but he feels like he so desperately wants to help them. I wonder how they ever did end up having them. I like that you have D & H in character - that's the only way I like my Dramione... The only criticism I have is that I'm not sure how or why the trio and company would just randomly accept that there's a new kid walking around the school without much explanation. That is a major problem with all time changing fics, but in this one I'm willing to overlook it because I like everything else too much! :)

Author's Response: That's funny, when the readers reach this chapter, they ask the same question. :) But a few chapters later, they tell me to disregard the review they left here. :) Everything will be answered in later chapters, why no one is noticing his sudden appearance, why teachers can deduct house points from him, etc... Thank you for reading so far... *huggles*

*Off to read some of Jesse's stories* ^_^


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Review #25, by Ginerva_Potter 

23rd March 2008:
Nice scene. I know you were interested in hearing about the overall flow of the story, so here goes: I think it flows well. The scenes transition smoothly into each other and you take your time in describing each scene and letting it play out. Good job!

I do have a question about the overall story. Hayden appears to have never gone to wizarding school. Why is this? I assume he is about 16, so why wouldn't he go? We see later with Tom Riddle that Hogwarts contacts him in an orphanage, why not a foster home? I suppose he could have elected to teach himself, but he would have had no guidance like a wizarding parent to help him, so I would think he would prefer a teacher. That's just something that's been bothering me. You don't really need to address it in the story, but I figure, if I'm curious, others might be as well.

Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Oh, no, Hayden turned 17 when he drank the Time-Traveller Potion from the first chapter. Remember the line: "His mother once told him that when a wizard turned seventeen, he’d be of age and was therefore allowed to use magic."
And then when Hayden said, "This is my birthday gift to myself".
I know at this point many readers ask the same question about that thing as to why Hayden never went to Hogwarts. But all this will be answered in the next chapters. Again, thanks for the review. :)


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