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104 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marlita1311 

15th March 2011:
wow..
the idea..it's just so..original..
i must keep reading..

Author's Response: Thank you. :)

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Review #2, by faithintheboys 

11th November 2010:
Oh wow. I really like the introduction of Hayden and his past. Interesting!

Author's Response: Thanks! I hope you come back and read more. :)

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Review #3, by Ronsgirl29 

20th August 2010:
Hello (:

What a unique idea! I'm not a huge fan of Draco/Hermione stories, but your summary really got me interested.

I really like Hayden so far. I feel bad that he never got to live a happy life with his family. I can't wait to see what happens now that he's gone back to change everything.

-Ronsgirl29

Author's Response: Thank you, Ronsgirl29. I hope you will read more. :)

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Review #4, by strawberrydarhling 

18th June 2010:
This seems like a very interesting story and I can't wait to read on!

Author's Response: Thanks very much, strawberrydarhling. :)

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Review #5, by serenity_1 

10th June 2010:
I really like what I've read so far. I can't wait to read the rest!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :)

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Review #6, by 1DarkAngel1 

12th October 2009:
wow - i want to read on!

Author's Response: Thank. Looking forward to reading your comments. :)

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Review #7, by Miss Lily Potter 

9th August 2009:
Hey! I decided to read and review the first two chapters; I hope that's alright?
Well, I like how you keep going back and forth between Hayden and Hermione's POV's, it makes it interesting. (:
The phrase 'Silver as youthful as gold', about his hair, was really... nice. So good job on that, as well.:D
I just have a question, what was the liquid? But that's a better idea then the oh-so-overused Time Turner. [Says the person currently planning a fic about that... Ahem. Sorry.]
Ahha, Draco catching her was adorable. xD Kind of like what we used to call first grade flirting, mess with the girl then be nice to her? I don't know, it's cute. (: Kind of cliche, but cute.
Haha, Draco being a jerk to Hayden made me laugh, just from the sort of irony of it all? Yeah, not making sense, sorry.
Well, Chapter Two's next! (:
-Jasmine

Author's Response: It's okay about the two reviews. I'm sure to get back to your reviews' thread and request some more. ^___^
Well, that Liquid, it's an Asportation Potion that comes from the future. Hayden brews it with Luna's help (she provides the ingredients) his mother's books (books from the past and advance potion making all of that).

Thank you again! :)


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Review #8, by Breatheonme 

7th August 2009:
Great chapter, cant wait to read more

Author's Response: Thank you! Just keep on reading! :)))

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Review #9, by mgmve 

23rd July 2009:
I love this story and hope you continue with it. Please update as soon as you can!

Author's Response: Thank you! :)

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Review #10, by Wierdy 

18th June 2009:
Great idea.

I love the flow and the characterizations.

Great job. :]

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it so far!

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Review #11, by Jredthegreat 

27th May 2009:
OMG i love this! Im so excited that i cried. And im only just reading. This is my first actual review so you know just exactly how much i like this! I think the idea of time travel is brilliant, and have been toying with it for quite some time, just didnt really have a proper story line. I have a good feeling about your story! :D

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Review #12, by LuckySeven 

26th May 2009:
Hello! I have come to (finally) answer your review request. I apologize for slowness.
I have never read a story with a plot like this (and I've read a lot) so congratulations. I really like the way you write. It's very nice.
My favorite parts:
"As he had felt the warmth of the summer breeze against his five-year-old face; hed believed, just for that short moment, that hed had the happiest family in the world."
-Very awesome writing skill here! It sounds so artistic. :)

"Hopefully Dad wasnt a prat when he was a teenager."
-hehe. Nice.

So, yeah. amazing job. I have no criticism & the flow was marvelous. It's hard writing multiple POV's, so I think that you rocked it!
Huggles,
LuckySeven
10/10

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Review #13, by Groundswell 

27th February 2009:
What an interesting start! I'm glad you got straight to it, letting him get to Hogwarts, even though you had a bit explaining in the beginning. I think it flowed easily, and perfectly.
Hm, to be honest I think they're underestimating Hermione. After all, she is the brightest witch at Hogwarts, so why would she need to walk around with a bunch of protectors? Of course it's Ron's job to feel such, but to me it seemed a bit out of character that Ginyn agreed with him. After all, she's such a strong woman herself, and she should know that Hermione doesn't need help.
But overall I think this was a really good first chapter. I enjoyed reading it, and a lot happened, even though it didn't seem rushed or too long. Well done!

Author's Response: Hi Groundwell!
Thanks for the review.
Yeah, here at the beginning, they are sort of being protective of Hermione. But wasn't she vulnerable in HBP? Hmm... Dunno. I thought she was. Anyway, thanks for dropping by and sorry for taking so long to respond. *huggles*


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Review #14, by Phoenix_Flames 

23rd February 2009:
Hello, there! I'm here with your review.

Wow, so this was an extremely great story.

It was captivating from the very first second. Gripping and compelling. It's very unique and original. Sometimes time travel can get a little cliche but you pulled this off by making every word original and making it your own!

It's fantastic! Excellent job.

I loved your characterizations. Everyone feels dead on and I feel like I'm actually there with the characters and they are my own friends. You are an excellent writer!!

Now, I must bid farewell before I find myself rambling about this fantastic story, for I have nothing but praise.

10/10

Author's Response: Thanks for the compliments, and I'm glad it wasn't too clichéd because it's about time-travel. :) I'm glad to hear you like my characterisations. My betas helped me with them, especially Fallstar. :)

Mitch


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Review #15, by Aligiah 

8th February 2009:
Every story that an author asks to be reviewed on the forms are different then the normal. I've noticed that. I love it. I never would have found this on my own. I love this plot. I've never read a time travel fic that actually had a good plot. Really.

First of all I love Hayden. I love his characterization. I'm very big on that. He's written like a real person, he has feelings and other things that people have, unlike some of the mindless zombies some people write.

I understand that Time Travel can be hard to write too, because you as the writer have to think about how things will play out. Because what happens if something happens between Draco and Hermione? Your main character should start to not exsist. I tried to write a time travel once. It wasn't pretty let me tell you. lol

Anyways, I really love your plot. Good job on Chapter One. :]

10/10 :]

xx Alex

Author's Response: Hi Alex! Thanks for the fantastic feedback and the compliments. =D It's really hard writing a time-travel fiction. This was my very first Dramione AND time-travel I've ever written, and I'm glad it turned out to be okay. I'm glad you like my OC; it was hard to create him, especially if he 'should be' a mixture of Draco's and Hermione's personalities. I didn't realise how hard it is combining those two completely different characters with each other. LOL I'm glad it turned out to be okay too, and that Hayden is a believable and realistic character, and not just a mindless zombie. =D

Thanks again for reviewing this chapter. :))


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Review #16, by Love Made Visible 

5th February 2009:
Loved the chapter image, it's really well made. Caren did an excellent job there and I think it adds quite a nice tone to the chapter. Now then - on to the chapter content: I like how you've laid this chapter out, it's extremely well spaced out and easy to read, good job. I also found that your descriptions were perfect. The way you described the bedroom at the beginning and also the photograph; it was extremely good and I can clearly tell that you've got an extreme talent for writing. I also enjoyed reading about the portrayal of Hayden, he seems a very interesting, angsty character and I'm excited to learn more about him. Your imagery and the use of similies was fantastic, I saw the scene unfold in my head through the use of your wonderful imagery.

The second part of the story was also very good. It flowed well and the dialogue was well written, it wasn't choppy or anything like that. I believe the way you characterised Hermione was spot on, just as head-strong as she was in the books, you hit the nail on the head with the portrayal of Hermione. The only thing I'm not too sure about is the way you portrayed Ron. Yes, he hated Malfoy in the books and he jinxed him numerous times; but I never imagined him to be as agressive as you've characterised him as in the second section. And I definitely cannot see him yelling at Hermione like that, but that's just me. I know in DH he lost it but that's because he was under a tremendous amount of pressure - I'm not sure whether he'd raise his voice like that at Hermione over Malfoy. I think there was just the right amount of dialogue in this chapter, there wasn't too much that I lost interest, it kept me involved with the story throughout.

I'm not usually interested in time-travel stories, they seem quite overused and often cliche'd, but this is proving to be quite promising thus far, I like how you're mixing it up a little bit with the different sections: Hayden time-travelling to find his parents, and also the interaction between Ron and Hermione. One thing I noticed is that you've used mum and dad a lot, and it started to get quite repetitive as you used them quite close together a lot of the time. I think it would be slightly more effective if you replaced some of the mum's with mother, and dad with father. I think it would make the story flow a little better. Another thing I enjoyed is how you slipped that little detail of Draco, Crabbe and Goyle shoving Hayden into the wall, I thought that was quite effective (well I'm assuming it was those three).

"Yeah, of course you can..." Shouldn't course be in italics instead of can? I literally gasped aloud when Hayden realised that Hermione was his mother, I wasn't expecting that at all. I also thought it was extremely effective how you collided both worlds: first, you'd kept Hayden's life and Hermione's life separate, using asterisks to highlight the split between the two worlds, and then at the end they were both brought together. I thought that was a great technique. This first chapter is wonderful and definitely caught my attention.

LMV

Author's Response: I was like "OMFG What a review! Yippee yay! *tackleglomps* " Thank you very much, LMV! I'm so sorry I couldn't reply right away. But thanks for taking the time leaving a review this long. =D

I'm glad you like my OC. Half of your compliments should go to Fallstar and Bella_Portia. They helped me fix this chapter. :) And yeah, I love ALL the chapter images Caren made for me for this story, and I'm glad you like them, too. :)

Yeah, I think I see what you mean about Ron. He was a bit aggressive and I over-exaggerated his jealousy towards Malfoy a bit, and maybe made him like a control-freak. Not only in this chapter, but in the entire story, I think. I dunno... I'll try to justify his behaviour in later chapters. Thank you for letting me know. :)

Oh, I used mum and dad a lot? I'll go over this chapter and fix it right away. I didn't notice. :p

LOL No one ever commented on how effected I used asterisks to separate sections. And yeah, Hermione is Hayden's mother. He knew it from the start. :p Since Hermione had died when he was eight years old, Hayden used a Time-Travel Potion to save her, and also, to fix his parents' 'broken' relationship from the very very beginning.

I'm glad you like it so far. And thank you once again for the wonderful review. :)



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Review #17, by Emo Mist 

10th January 2009:
I am sorry it took me so long to get around to reviewing. I had medical issues this last week :/
Anyway. Great chapter.
Very interesting and intriguing.
Your chapter left me off wanting to know more, which is an amazing thing!
Keep up the great work. Can't wait to read chapter 2.

Author's Response: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Thank you for leaving your feedback anyway and I am glad that you liked this chapter.


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Review #18, by Pingo 

10th January 2009:
Hey sweets
I'm may be the worst reviewer ever! And I promised you a long time ago that I'd read your story and then I didn't.. That's not very nice. .So I'm starting from the beginning and reading it all right now.. Hehe.. But I'm sorry that I'm not going to review every single chapter.. I hope you didn't expect me to.. Hehe..

Well you're of to a very good start and considering I've read up till chapter 5 I do know what's going to happen, but I'll read again, just in case I'd forgotten something.. Hehe..

I hope you can forgive me for my very very late review, but you know what they say - better late than never right? Hehe.. :)

I hope you'll be able to use my last review to anything..

Love,
Pingo

Author's Response: Aww... thanks for taking the time re-reading my story and leaving reviews where it's necessary. :) I appreciate it very much! :) It's okay for the late review. Better late then never, right? :)

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Review #19, by Browneyes101 

11th December 2008:
Here I am just as you requested. :)

This was an amazing chapter, the describtion, the emotion, the setting everthing was simply beautiful. I know your ego probably skyrocketted after I said that. Should I put up a warning sign? I'm just joking, but really this chapter is really well writen I really enjoyed it. I don't really have any feedback to give you besides good job and keep it up.

Now I'm off to the next chapter, till we meet again. 10/10

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Review #20, by FanofCards25 

25th November 2008:
This is an interesting story idea. I like the way you had him learn some basic magic as a child. One question that I have, if Malfoy is his father, why didn't he receive a letter to attend Hogwarts when he turned 11? Anyways ... Good Job, I am off to chapter 2

Author's Response: He did receive an owl when he turned 11. But he refused to go to Hogwarts after all. He didn't see a reason why to go there... :) Thank you for the comment. :)

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Review #21, by gitgit 

14th November 2008:
ooo that was definatly interesting
poor hayden
i wonder if the two will find out hayden is their son

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Review #22, by canta_loupe 

9th November 2008:
Hi! I've come from the forums with your reviews. :)

Alrightie. Firstly, I have absolutely no idea why you are concerned with this chapter. Actually, I have no idea why you are asking ME to review your story. Quite frankly, THIS STORY IS SO AWESOME AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVEN'T READ IT YET! Sorry for the caps... Hehe. But yes, I feel rather insignificant right now, after reading only your first chapter, because that's how great it is. :) I think that the fact that the main character is nameless as of now, is alright, because I've read your story summary, so I kind of already know who it is. Other things such as grammer, flow, plot, etc, etc, they're fine. And the characterizations of all the characters are brilliant. BRILLIANT!

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Review #23, by zEthHPfrEaK 

7th November 2008:
:) Nice!

The flow is great, definitely... You're really good writer. As in, seriously.

One thing, though - I don't really thing that Hermione would get into a FIGHT about Malfoy (with Ron)... I dunno, in this story, it seems almost like she'd stand there and take a beating (well, not literally, but you know that I mean), while I actually think she's more of ignore them or (if it gets really bad) a) walk away, or b) fight, like in 3rd year... Or just hex 'em really bad. but, other than that, great story!

Once again, this great flow!

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Review #24, by SpringTime 

5th November 2008:
I think this is a really neat idea, and I liked how Hermione's future son thinks that Draco is a prat :) The part where Hermione is talking to her friends seemed a bit forced, like you hadn't determined exactly how their personalities were going to show, but you knew what you wanted said? I hope that makes sense. I am excited to see what happens now that he is face to face with his mother.

Author's Response: Ooh... I'll work over that part. I thought I created Hermione...like sort of...like she's irritated and confused and that she didn't know if she was angry or surprised. That will be her throughout the story. Thanks for the review. That went really fast... XD

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Review #25, by hermione_weasley_angel 

3rd November 2008:
OMG!! I love this story already! I don't know why I didn't click on it before!!
It's very interesting!! Good job! :)
10/10

Author's Response: Thanks. I'm glad you like it. ^___^

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