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25 Reviews Found

Review #1, by datbenik513 

25th May 2009:
This chapter again witnesses several things happening at the same time in the many side-plots.

The DE get their punishment for having missed Harry again.
The kids consider different ideas on the Horcruxes; now that they had to tell Ginny everything, they have to make sure all this remains between them. In the meanwhile decisions are being made whether or not allow the kids, who soon come of age, join the Order, a question not everybody has the same opinion of.

Draco is spending some quality time with Father McKenna while working on Snape's assignment; this time not Potions, rather Muggle magic, as he calls it. The Priest is a good source of information, of course, but time is ticking.

My only point of criticism would be that some of your readers might find it difficult to switch several times between different subplots in one chapter. Other than that, this is a highly addictive fic. Well done so far!

Author's Response: Oh, my God, you have read and reviewed so much now! It's made my day.

Now, one of my tendencies is to multi-plot. It's rather likely that I make it a bit too complex and can lose readers for that sometimes. I'm still undecided as to whether this (having several plots going on simultaneously) is a virtue or a fault. I guess, it's okay in moderation but I can often overdo it. It will all be tied up in the end but some of it may not be revealed after later.

I wrote this before DH and I was racking my brains as to what was it that Dumbledore experenced exactly when he drank the potion. Ginny's dream or vision is a clue (in my AU version). Hermione will get very close to the truth shortly when they are brainstorming. He theory is that Voldy put something in the potion to inform him that someone has drank it...

Ginny, well she's the 7th daughter which according to legent tend to have psychic abilities. You're right in her connection with Harry, also she was possessed in book 2. The closest Harry and her get the strongest the connection between them will be (especially when their union becomes physical, which will do later on) but this is a double-edged sword in many ways.

Draco, well, you know now where I was heading. That kid will have no choice but to grow up quite a bit in this story, although hopefully I maintain his basic personality.

Thanks so much.


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Review #2, by SpringTime 

12th November 2008:
Very good theory on why Snape might have killed Dumbledor. I love hearing them even though the truth is now known. It is so fund to see how close people get. I also liked Harry's refusal to accept and ultimatum.
Draco's transformation could be underway. I am glad, I have a bit of a soft spot for him, even though I am a Ron fan. This is the shortest review yet, and I am sorry but I have nothing to say other than it was a good chaper. Thats the best to hear though isnt it;)

Author's Response: Thanks again and I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. I wrote up to and including chapter 14 before DH came out so these were really my theories. I always thought that there had to be more to Dumbledore's killing that met the eye.

Moody doesn't seem to be able to read Harry very well, does he? He should know by now how stubborn Harry can be.

Draco, well, yes, but more has to happen for him to really want to change. Draco is almost as important as Harry in this story.

Thanks so much again.


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Review #3, by crazygingercatlady 

5th October 2008:
Another great chapter. I thought the first part was written very well, I thought your characterisation of Voldemort was perfect, you had the right balance of his cold heartedness and his manicness. Also I thought your Bellatrix was really well written as well.

I really like how you've introduced Ginny into the secret, I like how your making use of her character and showing her intelligence. Also I really like Hermione's logic to why Dumbledore let Snape kill him, it's an interesting theory and one that fits quite well with the circumstances. I thought you handled the passage of time very well, you conveyed the events that happened in that passage of time very well and it was cleverly done.

I'm getting more and more intrigued by Draco's situation and really like how you're exploring religion and magic and whether they could be linked. You write Draco's confusion for the muggle world really well, and I really like that though his disdain for Muggles is still there it does appear to be weakening. Like Harry, I really like how you're showing a matured Draco and showing how the events of book six have alerted him as well.

Tory

Author's Response: I'm so glad you like my characterisation of Voldy and Bella. I find it hard to write Death Eaters! You may enjoy my chapter 20, I think it is, when you get to it.

By the way, I cannot thank you enough for engaging into reviewing something this long and still in progress.

I also love your observation about Draco being more mature. I think I decided on the onset of this (before DH), that coming of age meant "coming of age." I mean in our world is a bit different because, although we thought we knew it all at their ages sometimes, thankfully, we didn't live through these very extreme times. I mean to be ordered to murder your own mother! Well, I think by the end of this Draco could be worse off than Harry emotionally, by far in fact... I don't think anyone could do that! Well apart from Bella, I guess, anything for her beloved! I honestly believe that the only characters capable of that are Fenrir (possibly), Bella and Voldy. To me Bella is a misguided soul; maybe he gave her a very potent love potion! lol

Now, as to magic and religion, that seems to be my plot strength. Personally, I was brought up Catholic but I have Pagan leanings too. In short, I have a sort of DIY religion. I sort of try to see the common patterns. In my writing though, I owe it all to JKR for putting the idea in my head about Lily's love and sacrifice. It tallied so well with Christianity and Wicca, I was in awe! Put the other cheek forward and if an enemy curse you and you send them love, they cannot touch you (quoting from both religions), Budhaism as well and just about every religion.

I'm so glad, you are enjoying this silly and very long novel fic! x


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Review #4, by DragonGoddess 

13th May 2008:
Wheee!! Am back ^_^

Wow...I might've forgotten a few things, so I hope you don't mind me asking a few mundane questions. Firstly, what's with the 40 days limit? Is it something in the Bible or is it something in the story?

Heh, since when does Draco act like a hero? :P Oh, and the Dark Mark can't find Draco? Is it cuz of the power of Church?

The whole formula of Hermione that Snape is good is really believable. Hermione would be the one person who would believe Snape. But, under these circumstances, how she still trusts Snape is really...amazing. But, of course, the circumstances and the behaviour of Snape seems to be assisting the whole thing.

I'm simply hooked here :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing so much again! Please, ask me any questions you wish. I'm aware that I use many concepts derived from all sorts of souces, like the Bible, Pagan celebrations, mythology and even Medieval law, so it's highly surprising that it gets confusing.

Now, the fourty days protection. The inspiration for this (explained a little in chapter 1) is the medieval law of "sanctuary." Basically, people who were in trouble with the law would be protected from the wrath of the authorities of the time for 40 days if they sought refuge (sanctuary) in a church or monastery. After the 40 days, they had to give themselves up and go to jail, be hanged or whatever, or adjure the realm (leave the country at the earliest opportunity and under certain conditions). For the purpose of this story, since this is a fantasy, I implied that this protection had a magical dimension. It's a bit like Harry's mum's protection but only of use for 40 days, so now Draco is vulnerable again. Of course, he will weight up his options and this will put him in an "interesting" position.

Now, no Draco has never been a hero so far, however, Snape knows that he loved his mother and that he would try to do something to save her.

Hermione, yes, her mother died so you would have thought that she would blame Snape but also bear in mind that he is foremost a logical person and he seemed to let them escape...

I'm so glad you are finding this story interesting and thanks so much for your review!


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Review #5, by celticbard 

12th May 2008:
Oh, how horrifying! The start of this chapter was chilling indeed, infused with Voldemort's complete contempt for family and goodness. Poor Narcissa. I cannot imagine how she is feeling. She wants her son to live, but it seems now that her life is at stake too. What mess! I only hope that Snape can help them both.

My favorite part of this chapter was Draco's time spent with Father McKenna. His fascination with "muggle magic" was quite interesting. I loved his curiosity and his attempts at reconciling certain aspects of faith with magic. And how is Lily Potter connected with all this? Was her love for Harry also an act of faith?

You certainly have me intrigued, morgana. Hmm, I wonder if Harry will be able to put all the pieces of the puzzle together first or will Draco beat him to it.

I only noticed a few errors in this chapter. They are as follows.


Lord Voldemort was observing his prey sitting by the fire, casually stroking Nagini's scaly skin, his red eyes gliding with venom.
This should be glowing with venom, I think.


A dark cloaked figure lied on the hard stone floor contorted with pain.
This should be, lay on the hard


"This isn't my problem, Lestrange, I believe it's your problem" remarked Lord Voldemort leering at her.
This should be, "That isn't my...


"This isn't the playground, Bella" said Voldermort "I, and only I, impart justice here!" "You two together will go
This should be, You two will go together


"It is possible," admitted Harry, who had himself been wandering the same thing a little while back.
Typo! ^_^ It should be wondering not wandering.


"Yes," added Hermione like if struck with a sudden realisation,
This should be, as if struck


"But you said he told Draco that he knew he have been trying to kill him all year, and presumably had done nothing to stop him," retorted Hermione.
This should be, that he knew he had been trying


Perhaps he was being unfair, maybe he was behaving recklessly regarding the protection but he had made his stance and he had remained firm.
This should be, but he had made his stance clear and he had...


He had acquired somehow the ability to command, to be listened to, he might not be a military strategist but he definitely had a sense of purpose.
This should be, He had somehow acquired the ability to command...


"I'm sorry. That isn't negotiable. I don't want to join, if this is the price
This should be, if that is the price



Father Sean though this a bit strange but put it down to the youngster having watched too many Hollywood movies.
Typo! ^_^ This should be thought not though.



Another good chapter, morgana! I look forward to reading the rest. Good luck!

Best,
celticbard

Author's Response: I can't believe how many obvious errors I seen to miss, like missing letters or the wrong letter etc. That's why your reviews are so wonderfully helpful. All these errors are now fixed.

As for the plot, ok; Your comments are slightly hard to answer without giving too much away (which I have a dreadful tendency to do). Voldy, well, he thought he was cool to kill his whole family when he was a teenager, so yes.

A mess surely! Both Draco and Narcissa are in danger and you make a very good observation by suggesting that Harry and Draco are working towards the same goal. There will be rivalry, of course, but something will happen that will make their paths converge.

Lily and the religious theme is a bit two-folded, what she did (sacrifice) connects with the Christian idea, whilst the idea of love (positive energy) is believed by Pagan tradition to make curses backfire, but in this story, she actually used her wand.

Thanks so much and I'm glad that I'm keeping you intrigued.



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Review #6, by Shellee 

16th April 2008:
Hmm, so Voldemort isn't trusting Snape as much, either? I don't like Bella like this, really. Snape wouldn't know if Harry would come along or not. If no one is supposed to know where Draco is -besides Snape and no one knows he knows- how are they to get Draco then? I'm sure their ways are also limited.
Okies, so they don't know there are 7 Horcruxes? I thought they knew that already? Hmm. I'm glad that Hermione's got some other sense. She isn't keen on vengeance that much and is thinking about other things. I hope she can prove Snape's innocent, well, that he's on the good side. They all should get in the Order, although I don't see how that would change much, they all have the same information and another title to their name isn't going to do anything.
I like seeing Draco a bit vulnerable like this. He's got absolutely no clue and he isn't his usual cocky self. Haven't seen him like that alot. I really like it. Did the letter caught fire? Or was it something else?

Author's Response: Well, Voldy is not stupid but he is a right bully anyway. Bella, ok, which part did you not like? I tried to make her obsessive and unable to reason in a logical way. Bella hasn't a clue how to get held of Draco, Snape has, of course, but he will not help her.

Yes, the trio are supposed to know that he made 7 horcruxes. Their fear is that if Voldemort knows that some are already destroyed, he may have made some more, some replacements, so that they may still have 7 to go despite the ring and the diary!

Draco will mellow quite a bit in this story but I hope he still retains a bit of his normal snobbery. I didn't want him to change overnight and for no reason.

He set fire to the letter, to destroy the evidence, so to speak.

You're a real star for reading and reviewing all this! x


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Review #7, by Ginerva_Potter 

6th April 2008:
Oooo! The introduction of Lord Voldemort! And more Draco! What more could a reader want!

Plot:
- Ok, first things first. I absolutely loved the beginning section with Lord Voldemort and Snape. I thought you captured Snape wonderfully! It was fantastic!
- I also really liked the connections you were making between theology and magic. I am very interested in finding out more about this and how this becomes relevant for Draco.
- Ok, the last general comment; it is very fitting that it is Hermione that is figuring everything out. She would be the one to make all the connections.

Grammar:
- "'It is possible,' admitted Harry, who had himself been wandering the same thing a little while back." It should be "wondering," not "wandering."
- "'But you said he told Draco that he knew he have been trying to kill him all year, and presumably had done nothing to stop him,' retorted Hermione." Technically, this sentence isn't wrong. In writing, you should never use the same pronoun to refer to two different people of things. In that respect, the sentence is incorrect. However, since this is dialogue, you could decide to keep it and it would be fine. I just thought I should mention it because it still gets a little confusing. Here's an easy change: "'But you said he told Draco that he knew Draco has been trying to kill him all year, and presumably had done nothing to stop it,' retorted Hermione."
- "There was another problem, though, he, stupid Harry had let the world at large know that he was with Dumbledore at the Astronomy Tower which, in a way, proved that he had been on an errand with him immediately before." This would work better as two sentences: "There was another problem, though. He, stupid Harry, had let the world at large know that he was with Dumbledore at the Astronomy Tower which, in a way, proved that he had been on an errand with Dumbledore immediately before."
I also changed the error of two different people being represented by he/him.

Ok, so overall, this was another good chapter. The section with Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny was much better than other chapters when it comes to description in a relatively fast paced scene (Hermione works things out quickly, that's the fast pace). I think there is still room for some improvement in that section, but when isn't there? So, good job! Keep it up!

Author's Response: Thanks so much. I'm so pleased you like my Voldy and my Snape. Yes, the religious theme will be important later as well as a few other aspects. I combine a mixture of Christian faith, Pagan tradition and the paranormal but it will all sort of come together. The inspiration for this was "the power of love" that Lily seemed to have drawn from.

Of course, wandering was a typo, silly me! I take your point about spliting the sentences and about the confusion when they are talking about Dumbledore's death. Well spotted.

Thank you for reading and reviewing so much and for being so thorough. x


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Review #8, by Renfair 

3rd April 2008:
I still just can't ever how totally cool the idea of using the Sanctuary idea is in this story :) Every time you mention anything having to do with religion, I just think, "Man! That is SO COOL!" Poor Draco...stuck in a church...but at least, like you wrote, he has lots of books to read and hopefully will get a better grasp of Muggle "magic" so he won't get killed. I'm not a huge Draco fan, but I certainly don't want the poor kid dead, especially after how much effort Severus has put into keeping him alive! Now I'm pretty sure that you have a Severus/Narcissa ship listed for this story, so I'm interested to see how it's going to turn out when Severus has to bring Narcissa before Voldemort. Great job, like always!

Author's Response: Draco, yes, he was odious throughout the series, but I challenge you to feel sorry for him, later... things are not on the up for him! Sean McKenna will play a role, undoubtedly, yes I thought it all tied up with the same idea, at the end of the day. Now, Sevvy would rather die than kill Cissa! He's unable to do so, anyway. You will see him cry though, watch out for chapter 13, I made it 13 on purpose as well...This one (13) is perhaps my most elaborated, yet most controversial. I hope you'll feel for Sevvy when it happens.

Thanks ever so much, it means a lot, honestly!


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Review #9, by punk poet 

2nd April 2008:
yeah i love the whole religion thing and how you have put that in the story

Author's Response: Ah, I got you converted in the end! lol (and pardon the pun). Well, the plot will thicken even further, especially for Draco in chapters 13 onwards...

Thanks, so, so much!


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Review #10, by juls 

26th March 2008:
It's good to see that most of the Order recognize that Harry needs to be a member- not just the kid who hangs out with them. And that they are also willing to bring Ron and Hermione. Poor Molly- losing another child to grow up to be in the Order. Wars always gobble up the young to fight the battles don't they? It's always the hardest on the parents to see their young go off to battle- to grow up and be adults.

I'm glad that Draco seems to be adjusting, and that Snape (hopefully it was Snape) got the warning to him about Bellatrix. Oudious woman!

Anyhow, another wonderful chapter!

~~juls

Author's Response: Well, Harry, it's practically his war, so I guess he should have a say on the matter, lol. Now, Molly? Are you psychic because later on she is faced with the ultimate thing as a mother, and no, it's not, in that instance, the death of a child, worse than that, treson!

Draco gets it a lot worse actually. He will change slowly and eventually, for the best I hope....


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Review #11, by AnnaKay 

18th March 2008:
So some want him to join the Order? I think that it is a very good move, but Harry should be really careful because I would not like it if they made him tell them what was going on.

I know that Ginny had to be let in on the secret, and she seems to have a good head on her sholders, and she can think things through.

So Draco is really trying to figure thins out isn't he. Good thing too, because it seems like Snape or Slughorn are not doing very well on their parts.

Author's Response: Thanks so, so much. I can't believe that you have read and reviewed the whole story, so in detail and so quickly too! You have really made my day with this.

Now, Harry had to join, after all he's the central character in this war. Of course, he will not be tempted to reveal the horcruxes business. He made a promise and he is true to his word. I just thought of the time when Voldemort offered him to bring his parents back to life, if he joined him and he still didn't budge, so yes, he's a determined person and fairly strong willed. Ginny, well, she is important in this story, even to the point that something that will happen with her will precipate the final battle, but ok, I don't want to tease you too much here, no yet.

Draco knows that something isn't right. Snape cannot spell things out too much in case the letter got intercepted, hence also he uses the Muggle post. Snape is playing a pretty dangerous game, and he is pretty integral to this story too. Thanks again so much!


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Review #12, by Gords7015 

18th March 2008:
This was a very good chapter. One issue is that you're missing a sentence near the end, as Draco says "A letter from a friend." This is presumable in response to the Father's question of who it is from. However, you don't have that question in there, so it is a little random.

Otherwise, nice chapter, and I still think that the inclusion of Christian symbolism and religion is a very unique take on this story.

Author's Response: Thanks once again. Draco's comment, well, my idea was that Father McKenna hasn't really asked him directly but that Draco felt compelled to give some kind of explation, to stop him from wondering about the letter if anything else. Now, yes the religion business plays a part in this story, that's one of the aspects in which this story is pretty much AU.

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Review #13, by Aurora Dawn 

21st February 2008:
Hi Morgana,

You're still doing a good job with the Hary-Ron-Hermione parts. They really sound and interact like Harry, Ron, and Hermione do.

I believe I read somewhere on the forums that you said you didn't think you do a good job with characterizing Voldemort. He isn't in here much, but from what I see, he looks fine. He's reckless and off the wall with his cruelty, and that's just typical Voldy.

I do wonder whether he'd call Bellatrix "Bella" though. Using a nickname is usually kind of a sign of affection (unless that's what you're going for). I know he does use Peter's nickname, but I kind of think it's in a mocking way meant to point out that he betrayed the friends that gave him that name and that he can't ever go back to that life. (But that's just my reading of it)

Also, I'm wondering why you made the decision to have the narrator call him "Riddle". He hates that name and I don't think I remember the narrator in the books calling him that. I'm not saying it's the wrong thing to do -- I'm just curious.

Where previous chapters have focused on Harry as a new adult, this one seems to focus more on his role as leader. Harry has always been the leader of the Harry-Ron-Hermione triad and of course, the DA. This perhaps is the first time that people have consciously taken notice of the fact that Harry is a natural leader. It makes sense that it would come from Lupin, who probably recognizes that Harry gets this from James.

Poor Draco. It's mean, but it's fun to see him brought down to such desperate straights. He was such a cocky, arrogant little brat and now his whole world has been yanked out from under his feet. It's an interesting situation.

I found some small typos. There's one sentence that's in present tense when it ought to be in past tense to fit with the others around it. "The days have passed." And there's also that thing with the introduction of the characters that I've noticed before and you caught me on when you last reviewed my novel. Here it's in the scene where Harry and Ron go downstairs and you just have no idea which characters are in the room until they speak.

Other than that, a good job as always.

Author's Response: Thanks so much again.

Now, Voldy, yes, I think what I said is that my reviewers are normally happy with my Voldy but that I find him difficult to write. Harry, for instance, comes to me pretty naturally. I can imagine being him, but it's hard to imagine being Voldy, well, thank goodness! lol

Now, he calling her Bella. Well, they are not a ship in this story as such but it is implied that they have been lovers at some point, I mean physical lovers, not that he shows her much affection though. As for the narrator, I think I did it for the sake of avoiding repetition but maybe it's not the best way to refer to him. Now, Harry will call him Riddle to his face (especially at the end) because he knows he hates it.

Draco, bless, it's going to get worse, you'll see... He's going to have to eat a lot of humble pie!

Thanks for pointing out the sentence that is in the wrong tense. My mind wonders sometimes, also for pointing out that may characters turn up out of the blue. I believe I was able to spot this in your story because someone pointed this out to me before (in a different scene) and I'm not more careful with this. I'll go and put this right.

Hugs x


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Review #14, by kara101 

16th December 2007:
Back once again!

You skipped from Harry to Voldemort so I would add Voldemort's POV in italics in the beginning. Then you skip back to Harry, Ron, Hermione,and Ginny so maybe in Italicas say meanwhile...Then same with switching to Draco, meanwhile back at the muggle church. Otherwise it was great. Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Yes, I think something like "meanwhile" should be said at the beginning of the Draco scene. Starting with Voldy is probably ok, I guess, since it's the beginning of a new chapter, but maybe something needs to be said as well before the trio + Ginny scene.

The next chapter is a happy one for a change, just to let you know.


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Review #15, by Bella_Portia 

12th November 2007:
The first scene, with LV -- great! Your story just TAKES OFF in that scene. Gotta love the bad guys.
The scene with the kids (Harry, Ginny, Ron, Herm), w/ the dialogue, is very good. The only slight suggestion I would make is this: coming after another chapter that is almost entirely dialogue, it seems a little flat. Don’t get me wrong – it’s good dialogue and it’s insightful. But a little more inner monologue along the way (Harry’s, since it’s his POV) might tend to deepen it.
I didn't see the reason for the debate over letting Harry into the Order. Seemed it would be a foregone conclusion to admit him, and R and H, as soon as they came of age/finished school/met whatever necessary criterion. I can't see Mollie protesting so much about Ron. She's very protective, but I don't see her protectiveness showing itself this way. She'd want Ron to do the right thing.

Love the idea of Draco puzzling over religious books, although the particular paragraph was a little puzzling. What is he reading? The Bible? Aquinus? A modern theologian? The quote is from the NT – is he sitting at the desk like a monk with a bible and a concordance? Is he reading up on the eucharistic mysteries, thinking about quizzing the priest, who obviously knows all about transfiguration? I’m not sure “fool” the DL is quite the word, but, puzzling over how to use this knowledge to gain some sort of advantage?

And I would have liked just a little more day-to-day detail of life with the priest. Can't help thinking:wouldn’t the priest think it odd that Tim had a friend that knew to write him there, at the church? Indeed, wouldn’t the priest think the kid strange altogether? Perhaps he feels helping that Draco is someone sent by God? (I don't know, just a thought.)




Author's Response: Ok, I'll start with Draco first because it's easier! Slight understatement. As to what he is reading, all of the above and beyond, from a wizards point out view, and being truly desperate! Draco may be what he may be but he is highly intelligent, so he'll grasp it! Aquinus is an interesting one. I was brought up as Catholic myself in a posh boarding school so I guess I draw a little from there. Don't worry Father McKenna will be back even after Draco lives and he will know about us.

I have had another uncommon OC out of my sleeve from when I planned this and she is an old lady who is the leading author in Parapsychology (briefly introduced in canon, but not in this capacity), ok, T Riddle's Snr posh girl! Her and the Priest can debate theology for as long as they like, but in the end, it comes to the same thing... they're fighting on the same side... but, honestly I'm not trying to preach here, I just thought it could be interesting.

They together get to the bottom of what happened to Harry when he was one, several religions and beliefs would help, but is that enough? well, wait and see...

Now, Harry and the Order, well, Moody and the rest want him to spill the beeans, and H won't! because of his promise to DD! They all bargain, that's the point of most of this chapter, to establish Harry as kind of a leader. He is not the leader of the Order of course, well not in name... Harry here is inmensely determined and brave and rich, but maybe not all those things for ever, he is still only a kid in people's eyes by the end of my story, Halloween a year later the picture will be different...

Thanks so much again x


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Review #16, by GoCalgaryFlamesGo 

26th October 2007:
Yay, more Malfoy. And I like how you've depecited Harry's struggle with regards to Dumbledores mission.

Again, I love how you write moody :D

Favorite line "I'm sorry. That isn't negotiable. I don't want to join, if this is the price!" and with these last words, Harry stormed up stairs and made a motion for Ron to follow him.


Author's Response: Yes, Malfoy features a lot here. I'm very glad you like my Moody too. I always see him as a bit rough and quite impulsive. Now, Harry is stubborn as usual, he promised Dumbleore to keep it a secret and nothing can change his mind.

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Review #17, by JLHufflepuff 

17th October 2007:
And the plot thickens! I am glad that Ginny knows about the Horcruxes in your version. I can't stand her not knowing and not being included! GRR! Anyway, I feel like some of the characters' thoughts are jumping around a lot, and I have to read carefully to be sure who is thinking at certain times. I really like Draco in his little subplot looking into Muggle magic (as I think I already said), and it's neat how you are bringing out the theme of sacrifice using Lily's protection of Harry as an example. :-)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review. Yes, I feel like that about Ginny myself. I wanted her to play a more important part, although I knew that DH was unlikely to have her in as much as the trio. Yes, Draco appears here a lot more too and well spotted again... Now, I'm in the process of reviewing the whole story to make it clearer, because yes, several people have commented that sometimes it's a bit confusing. What they are doing is thinking aloud a lot of the time, they are trying to work out all the conundrums without Dumbledore, they have clues of course but still it's not easy for them, but yes, I'll have to make sure that the dialogue is clearer. Hope you continue enjoying this. x

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Review #18, by jyyl94 

13th October 2007:
Ah, very eventful chapter this one is. I love the ending, very well written in paragraphs, which gives you more time to describe everything since the starting is mostly conversations. The parts about Draco and the church really intrigued me, so I'm eager to read more. Just a few grammatical errors, and I'd like to point one out to you.

The sentence is : Peter Pettigrew smirked down at him, it felt good to sense the pain in someone else's eyes. I think it would sound better if you change the sentence to be : Peter Pettigrew smirked down at him. It felt good to sense the pain in someone else's eyes. That's much better, you should correct the use of your punctuations. If you still think the sentence isn't good, then it should be better this way with Peter's thoughts : Peter Pettigrew smirked down at him, thinking that it felt so good to sense the pain in someone else's eyes. About the "sensing the pain" part, I don't think people actually sense pain in someone else's eyes, LOL, so I think it'd be better if you put "see the pain in someone else's eyes" because you can actually see the pain in someone's eyes.

Great chapter, overall, keep up the good work !

Author's Response: Certainly a good point, but I thought if the Dark Lord was doing that, you'r mean to "sense it" but then again... Thanks for all your constructive tips and advice. Hugs x

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Review #19, by Joanne K 

17th September 2007:
This whole church thing with Malfoy is really interesting! I can't wait to see what happens with it.

Author's Response: Well, chapters 13 and 14 will tell you more... I really thought that Voldy would have come a lot harder on Malfoy and I can't believe that all the Malfoys survive DH! Thanks again.

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Review #20, by Snitchsista 

9th September 2007:
"So, I haven't thought about it like this" started Ron "but maybe You-Know-Who doesn't know we are after the Horcurxes, yet. Maybe Snape only knows about Dumbledore trying to hunt them down"

"Ron, you"re a genius!" Hermione went and kissed him.

"Thanks, Mione" said Ron taken aback. "But, how?"

I selected that because I thought that it was so in character, plus everything that Mad Eye Moody said was spot on as well.

I'm afraid I can't be long tonight as I've been told to get off the laptop (always a difficult thing) as I am going back to my Mum's tommorrow, ready to set myself up for University! Ah. Lol.

Back to the chapter- I loved it, again. There's just something about this fic that makes you want to read more and more and more. I don't know what it is, but I think it's very excellently written and the plot is about the most unique thing I've ever read. Father McKenna, I mean, what a great character! Oh, I've worked it out now, who I thought was in perfect character- Lord Voldemort. Fantastic stuff. You have his balance between insanity and calmness to a T! I mean it. Unfortunately, I have to go now, but rest assured I will be back for more. Damn time!! Why did I have to pretend I wasn't doing anything with the laptop, and then . . . . because I could still be on it, and, **grounds teeth in frustration.** I could always review one more chapter . . . .

Snitchsista

(Rachel)

xx



Author's Response: I'm so encouraged by your comments! I'm especially glad that you like Voldy in this since I find him really hard to write (the character I think I find the easiest is probably Harry since I think I'm quite in tune with him, well, like you, I fancy him as well!). Well, this chapter gives you the answer to what Draco says later on re what Voldemort wanted him to do... and Snape himself may very well have issues having to kill Narcissa but you'll have to wait and see... I'm glad you like the priest. There will be another sort of OC who is also an adult later on, it's in fact a lady that JKR let us have a glance at but never re-appears in canon and she will complement McKenna quite well because in my fic she is a parapsychologist. Glad I got Moddy right in your opinion and as always, best luck for Uni, I know you'll love it! x

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Review #21, by dramione12 

8th September 2007:
Awesome chapter! :-)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. Hope you continue to enjoy it!

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Review #22, by LupinFan45 

3rd September 2007:
it's really good! keep writing!

Author's Response: Thanks again!

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Review #23, by edenvirg 

25th August 2007:
Great chapter (lots of things happening, LOL, all of them keeping me glued to the edge of my seat), but please review this chapter for punctuation mark errors.

Author's Response: Yes, I need to review the whole thing for errors. Now, I'm glad you liked this. I expected Voldy to have come down a lot harder on Draco than he did in canon, although of course having him (Voldy) as a "guess" in your own home against your true will has to count for something...

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Review #24, by Marty Mcfly 

6th July 2007:
cool!

Author's Response: Wow, I'm soo, soo grateful for what you've done! Honestly. I'm like you also very interested in versions of book 7. I started this because I couldn't wait! I'm definitely going to read and try to review yours. You've been so kind as well. Now, are we any clearer as to Snape's position or are we not? I hope we aren't but I guess by now it definitely shows. Post me if you wish (morgana)

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Review #25, by seanos 

6th July 2007:
There are a number of spelling and grammar errors so getting some proof reading would help. There are errors in most chapters.

The plot is excellent so far and I have enjoyed reading it. You may want to make Bellatrix's murder of Fleur and Mrs Granger more explicit. When the order go to rescue Petunia you have the potential for a very good action sequence.

Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review. I agree, I type very quickly and tend to make silly errors, I guess I am a bit desperate to finsish this before DH, which of course is never going to happen! Yes, I need a beta, I haven't got one at present. I'm glad you like the plot though, I think you are a lot better with action than me (yes, I thought I need to expand on this scene, I wold be very grateful for any help, ideas etc with this). Thanks a lot.

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