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37 Reviews Found

Review #1, by datbenik513 

11th May 2009:
Every chapter's coming with something unique. This time, the wedding of Bill and Fleur and the adjoining magic of the newlyweds' oath.

Finally, the long awaited talk between H and G. G finally gets some confirmation that H still loves her. I did have a feeling that their dialogue is a bit forced.

Back at the Burrow again, when lightning strikes. Way to end with this cliffhanger! Is it a setup? We'll see in the next chapter!

Author's Response: I wondered and wondered what wizarding weddings would be like. I wrote up to and including chapter 14 before DH. A reader once told me she preferred my version of the wedding. How is that for a compliment! I guess the Wiccan idea of handfasting may have been at the back of my mind but doing it with wands, yeah, I'd love to get married like that! The one thing that nearly spook me is that what Hermione is wearing is almost what Jo wrote! (same colour dress and stuff...) meaningless as this detail is.

Harry loves her, desires her, would rip her clothes apart! lol

Now, I love constructive criticism because that's what makes us all improve. If you ever get the time, would you kindly let me know what you found forced? I'm pretty honest myself when I review (especially amongs us older authors) so I would love to hear more on this note.

Cliffhangers are something that I have grown a little too fond of, of late. I sometimes think they can be a little bit "cheap" like blackmail almost... but I guess in moderation they are ok.

Thanks so much again!


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Review #2, by SiriuslyPeeved 

5th May 2009:
Another well-written and entertaining chapter. I love how Harry's point of view comes across so strongly, highlighting the things Harry would have found most important at the wedding. (food, Ginny, drink, Ginny, other guys looking at Ginny, parts of the mystery he's trying to unravel, Ginny again :) )

Ginny and Harry's romantic encounter (despite Harry's impaired condition) was funny and sweet, and I was smiling throughout the whole thing. Harry's scar was a nice touch at the end.

Author's Response: Oh, thanks so much again. I thought that the wedding had to have a wizarding element to it but yes, it's mainly written from dear Harry's point of view.

He's actually a bit drunk but not as badly as he makes out, enough to get a bit of Dutch courage though. I knew those two couldn't stay apart for ever. In fact, it more or less went that way in canon too, when they kiss.

The trouble I'm having with this story is that I'm trying to include a bit of everything: action, mystery, romance etc and is thretening to become the longest thing ever.

I'm so pleased you enjoyed it. It is very encouraging.


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Review #3, by Foxtrott 

30th November 2008:
你好!こんにちは! (Sorry, I got bored of greeting in English. Not sure if you'll be able to read the chinese and japanese though.)

I thought this was a very nice filler chapter. :) It progressed the story nicely, but slowered down the pace a bit so the reader can reflect on what's already happened and what could happen, and it doesn't lose the reader's attention either with great plot twists. :)

I could practically imagine McGonagall and Harry dancing together. Haha! And when she professional swung him into Ginny's arms - oh! That's a killer. :P

"She had to admit, he was no longer the 'Boy' Who Lived but a young man ready to take command, he exhaled charisma." Er, the comma between 'command' and 'he' should be replaced by a '-'. I think it would work better. :)

I'll revisit this story later, and I'll probably keep reviewing until all my slots are filled. (but you can always request again.)

Great job! :)

-Foxtrott

Author's Response: Hi, yes, Chinese or Japanese would be good if I could read either! lol

Thanks so much again. I'm glad you enjoyed this. I thought the wedding had to be described. I do sometimes have a tendency to indulge a little on filler chapters although, of course, something important happens at the end of this chapter which leads to a very action packed one.

Of course, it also progresses the relationship between Harry and Ginny a bit.

Just read and review what you can, when you can and as long as you enjoy it. No obligation at all. I'll try to review for you at some point to if you want me to. It's the least I can do.

Thanks for spotting the error again. You seem to have a good eye for detail, which I often don't.

I'm glad that you enjoyed it again. x


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Review #4, by SpringTime 

11th November 2008:
So at the beginning of the alk with Ron and Hermione Harry is focused on shuffling his feet as if he were trying to avoid the topic? Why is he trying to avoid it? I would think he would have been eager to at least hear some of Hermione's thoughts on it. I loved how Ron slipped and called Hermione 'love' but then the conversation about Slughorn just ended, with out any true closure, even if that closure was less dialogue and more summary I feel that there should have been something there.
During Ginny's description of Harry she says " he exhaled charisma" I think exuded would be a better word.
Ha, Ron not being able to manage all the food, very nice touch. OOOh, is Moody going to bite the big one in your's as well? I liked the playfulness of Ginny and Harry though I felt that it was very sudden that she was nice to him agian. Maybe there is a way to introduce her change of feelings, or have her come off as a little meaner until Harry is able to warm her up.
I am definitely going to continue reviewing, but I wont be able to right now as I am going to work a little on a fic I am starting, but I promise to do every chapter if you want me to. Thanks for the response on my first review by the way, I appreciate it, and thanks for asking me. I hope that these reviews help, and though I know I got cut off on my comment (as you can see I tend to get verbose) I would love it if you wanted to read any of my fics, but How to Save a Wizard (which is in canon) and Addict (which is not) are my two favorites for very different reasons. :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much again. Now, I think you are referring to when Harry seems completely at a loss in terms of what Slughorn may be doing in a Muggle church. My idea was that he is a bit down and overwhealmed by all the different conundrums. He is also still worried about having to face Ginny and well, Lily's letter was a pretty sad one, well for obvious reasons because his parents got murdered and also because it would seem as if Lily had decided that if something happened to her and James, that their friends would take care of Harry. This seems to point, at least in Harry's mind, to Sirius and instead he got the blame for their killings. In terms of the converstation about Slughorn ending too abruptly, I will look into this. Thanks for the insight. However, I just feel as if they really didn't reach any logical conclusion at that stage, so the whole thing is sort of ongoing.

I agree with you totally that "exuded" is a much better fitting word there. I'll change that. Thanks for pointing this out.

Moody, well, I'm not going to kill him off straight away, if I do at all but there will certainly be casualties and soon. Ginny and Harry were dying to get back together despite all the tension between them. I think what gave Ginny the confidence to go for it was in part fueled by what Hermione tells her in chapter 3 when she says that she thinks that Harry still has feelings for her and Ginny sort of smiles. Harry is a little drunk so his barriers are down and Ginny realises that he still very much wants her.

I really look forward to reading and reviewing your stories too. I will start either tonight or tomorrow.

Your reviews are definitely very helpful and they are certainly giving me food for thought and are encouraging at the same time.

Thanks so much, babe! x


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Review #5, by celticbard 

1st May 2008:
What a wonderful chapter! I could not stop smiling while I was reading it. There were so many bits I loved, the wizard wedding, the feast, McGonagall dancing, Harry and Ginny finally seeing past their hurt and confusion. And what a cliffhanger ending!

I really enjoyed the conversation Hermione, Ron and Harry had at the beginning of the chapter. It was very in-character and reminded me very much of all the time they spent brainstorming together in the books. McGonagall was also spot-on. I'd always wondered if she was married, as most of the Hogwarts staff seem to have no life outside of school.

You're also weaving the themes of love and faith together perfectly in this fic. I cannot help but wonder, is love truly different for wizards and witches? Is it some sort of spell that binds them together and does it, indeed, protect them? Hmm, I'm certainly curious to find out!

I only noticed a few minor errors in this chapter. They are as follows.


Harry realised this and hoped beyond all hope that, after what Bill had gone through, this wouldn't come to spoil his and Fleur's special day, because despite all the precautions that had been taken, he worried.
This should be, he was worried.


Harry and Ron didn't looked bad themselves.
This should be, Harry and Ron didn't look bad themselves.


It must do.
This should simply be, It must.


There was an impressive buffet comprising a large selection of fine French cuisine
This should be, There was an impressive buffet comprised of a large selection of fine French cuisine.


She smiled. "Yes, he hasn't had an easy life, bless.
I think this should be, bless him.


"I know I'm drunk because I still fancy you," he ventured, feeling as it had been someone else who had uttered those words.
This should be, feeling as if it had been...


There seem to be no need for this panic. The musicians were ready and were taken aback by this commotion.
This should be, There seemed to be no need for this panic. The musicians were ready and were taken aback by the commotion.


Another great chapter, morgana! I'll be back for chapter six tomorrow. Good luck!

Best,
celticbard

Author's Response: Thanks so much again. I have now got a computer and I have fixed the errors you found. I seem to miss silly things I tend to do, like typing that when I mean than etc. I'm still mulling over some of the point of view issues. I have change the swith to Ron's and Lupin's POV in chapter 3, for instance but I have left the switch to Petunia's because I sort of wanted to show how she felt, but I may change that later if I think of a way to express this without switching.

I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this chapter. I thought the wedding had to involve some magic (I wrote up to and including chapter 14 before DH came out). Also, I thought it would be interesting to give a teacher a bit of a background personal history.

The themes of love and religion will be important in this fiction. Now, Harry and Ginny, well I always thought that they would go back together but they are both fiery and stubborn and it's not going to be an easy ride for them. Their union is very central to the story and not just from a romantic perspective.

I'm so glad you're enjoying this!


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Review #6, by Shellee 

16th April 2008:
Such a lovely wedding and it seems so magical and short. Ginny really is planning something, isn't she? Hmm. They all seem so lovely. Harry drunk, haha, that's a good part! Then the dancing, I'd have wanted to see his face when he landed in Ginny's arms. I hope things will be alright between the two of them.
I think it's a bit obvious it's a trap too. I do wonder why so many people got drunk when it's was obvious they could ahve expected something like that. Curious to what's going to happen now.
On to the next one.

Author's Response: Yes, I thought the wedding had to be magical in some way. Ginny just wants him back and I think, deep down, she suspects that he wants her back too but her pride is hurt and she wants him to be the one who comes to her, whilst normally she would be quite happy to take the initiative.

The trap, well, yeah... Yes, too many people got too drunk but Moody kept on saying that the Burrow was protected. They didn't expected the trouble would be in a place other than the wedding's venue.


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Review #7, by Ginerva_Potter 

4th April 2008:
I enjoyed reading about Fleur's wedding from your point of view. I think it makes a lot of sense to have the wedding in France, away from the trouble of Voldemort. Alright, I'll start the critique:

Characterization:
- Good overall. There were a lot of characters in this chapter and I think you did a good job with them. I really love Ginny's reaction to Harry when he bumped into her while dancing. It just shows how funny, and fiery she is. She's awesome (of course, I'm biased). I also enjoyed the tidbit that she refers to Voldemort as Tom. That's very striking. Indeed, she got to know him and had a very personal encounter with him when she was young. It's very fitting that she would refer to him in this way.

Writing:
- I loved the phrase in the beginning, "before the girls had a chance to get in there and it became unavailable for hours on end." It was perfect!
- There seems to be more grammar and missing words in this chapter than the other ones. It may be helpful to read over it again, slowly, and see if you can catch most of them.
- For the last few chapters, I have felt that something was missing from the writing. At first, I thought it might have just been the descriptions, but I finally realized in this chapter what it is: Comic Relief. I know the story is serious and there is some dark material present, but I feel like there is a need for comic relief. Personally, I believe comic relief is appropriate at just about any point in the story, but that it sometimes works best to leave it out of the most serious scenes. The story is serious, and you shouldn't add comedy to every bit of it, but I think one good laugh per chapter would be nice (maybe not the last chapter with Draco and Father McKenna). The addition of comedy would help make the plot more serious when necessary. Bringing both seriousness and comedy helps the reader feel strong emotions because you are always wavering between the two levels. If everything is kept on one level, the reader's feelings don't vary much and it becomes slightly monotoness and emotionless (or maybe, emotionally numbing would be a better description). I, myself, have a hard time writing the comedic aspects, but I think you should give it a try. Ron is a good character for this. So are Fred and George. You could have the two of them pull a quick prank here or there, and that would suffice. Ginny is also funny, but in a different way (which you showed in this chapter). Ok, I've gone on way too long about this, but I just thought it might be helpful for you.

Plot:
- Good. It's still moving well. Not entirely related to the plot, but I enjoyed your details about the wedding ceremony. The idea of the wands touching and connecting was awesome! It was such an original idea and it makes perfect sense. Wizards are so connected with their wands, it makes sense that they would share that special connection with their spouses.

Again, great chapter! Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Thanks a million again! I'm really pleased that you liked my take on the wedding. I thought that normally the bride choses the venue and the wands, well, I thoght there had to be magic involved.

I love Ginny too, and she features a lot in this story. She is a much a central character as the trio. Her relationship with Harry will not always be smooth though. She is in my mind somehow the strongest out of the four, although they all have their strengths. Yes, the fact that she refers to him as "Tom" in my mind sort of proves how strong she really is.

You got me going with the humour thing. Amazingly enough I thought I was including humour but, thinking about it, well, maybe not enough. I thought the Draco/McKenna converstation included this because they just come from such different universes, like when the priest goes on about "the Lord" and Draco almost freaks out, but then maybe my sense of humour is a bit off. Ok, I'm British, but that's no excuse, since so is JKR and she got me in stitches on many ocassions. Ron and the twins, yeah, definitely. The twins do this kind of thing in the chapter that deals with Harry's birthday. I thought the McGonagall scene was funny but maybe that's just me, or maybe you realised this because this chapter has more humour than the others. I agree with you though, that this is a very general story and we cannot just have doom and gloom all the way. Also, I agree that is hard to write comedy. It's difficult to know what would tickle people.

I'm going to re-read all these chapters and see what I can do to fix them a bit, also yes, I'll look out for missed words, errors and so forth. They're normally easy to stot, but I re-read my own writing too quickly sometimes, since I know what happens. Slap on wrist! lol

Your reviews are wonderfully insightfull. Thanks ever so much!


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Review #8, by punk poet 

1st April 2008:
great chapter i lol when mcgonagall pushed harry towards ginny. great chapter the best yet

Author's Response: I'm so pleased this is your favourite chapter so far. It's one of my favourites too. I thought the wedding had to contain some magical elements. Yes, McGonagall was supposed to be funny. I wanted to portray her in a different capacity to that of Head of House.

I'm really thrilled with your reviews. Thanks so much!


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Review #9, by juls 

23rd March 2008:
The wedding ceremony was so lovely- and so touching in its beauty. Great job there.

I see everyone wants Harry and Ginny together- and seems to be working. Love is an empowerment he'll need... for Tom Riddle knows it not at all. He may understand the concept, but the feeling, never.

O.o and Aunt Petunia. who will save her? Can't wait to see.

~~juls

Author's Response: Well, Harry loves her and he can't hardly control his hormons anyway! These two will go through a right roller-coaster but well, ok, they will get together although I must say the ending with them is far from that of a fairy-tale story...

Petunia, well, she harbours her own secrets...

Thanks so much again!


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Review #10, by Renfair 

19th March 2008:
HI! I am FINALLY back to read some more! It is absolutely criminal how long it is taking me to read this story, but I promise I won't give up until I've read it all!

So, wow, there were so many cool, awesome, funny, touching things in this chapter. Let's see...I'll just try and go in order. The conversation between the Trio at the Burrow was really well written and seemed very in character with all of them. I laughed at this line: "...added Ron with his customary subtlety." No kidding, right? I still think your use of magic and Christianity is fascinating. I still think it's a cool thought to think that, in the Harry Potter world, Jesus could have been a wizard, though I don't know if that's the angle you're taking. It's probably a blasphemous thought, but a cool one nevertheless.

All of Harry's longing over Ginny is so sweet and sad, but it's ok cause I know what happens later *he he he!* The wedding ceremony was SO COOL! I love the idea of them joining wands and also the idea of the Lore where their marriage is, indeed, much more of a big deal than a Muggle one.

McGonagall seems just a *tad* out of character, but then again, who can say how she would be at a wedding with lots of champagne?! I think the only thing that seemed OOC with her was her calling Harry "Harry" instead of "Potter," but, again, that could be the champagne talking :)

This was a great line: ""I wonder," Harry said, "the Death Eaters must know we are all getting wasted. It is definitely not the best state to be in if they were to attack." HAHAHA! Yeah, that *would* be a good idea...I could just see, like, Ron swaying around and saying, "Come 'ere, you bloody Death Eaters! I'll Stun the lot of you, if you would just STAY BLOODY STILL!" Haha. Sorry. That amused me.

"Ginny had always referred to Voldemort as Tom ever since the diary experience." --Really nice detail. I like that!

The letter at the end is, of course, very curious. I'm wondering if it was sent by Snape, who would know the Death Eater's plans but also probably still want to help out the Order.

Ok, well I need to get some dinner now! I'm really glad I was able to get a chapter read today! Great job, and hopefully I'll be able to catch up soon!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your very detailed review. I know the feeling, I have been meaning to fully catch up with your story too, it's just a matter of having the time to be on top of everything. I will read and review some more today though.

Ah, I'm really pleased you did like the wedding and the trio's conversation. McGonagall, yes, she was fairly out of character in a way but I just wanted to show her as someone "human" as opposed to the Deputy Head, that's why I gave her a little personal history. Harry is in a funny position in this story, because he thinks of himself as a grown up but still sees the teachers as that teachers etc, he is somewhere between adulthood and childhood so to speak.

The magic and the comment about Jesus, well, it would sound plausible to me, the miracles and such. I would not consider it blasphemous unless someone make out he was a Death Eater or something. I mean the Order side are not evil at all, ok, they can do magic, good for them! Also, I thought a wizarding wedding had to be magical somehow and I came up with the idea of joining the wands.

Ron, yes, bless him, he can be a bit clumsy in the way he says things. Your comment about stunning DEs as long as they kept still was absolutely hilarious! I loved that!

Harry and Ginny, yes, you know what happens later but these two are both quite fiery so they won't always have a quiet life. He just doesn't know how to go about things and as you know, Ginny will have to take the iniciative. She will play a big part in this story and the fact that she was once possessed herself will come into it too.

The letter... umm... interesting theory, it's all I can say.

Thanks so much and as I said, I intend to make some progress with your story too!


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Review #11, by Gords7015 

17th March 2008:
A very nice chapter. You did a great job describing the wedding. I really hope that Hermoine is wrong, and it isn't a trap! Otherwise, I thought that Harry's "proposal" was interesting. You do a good job capturing his inner thoughts!

Author's Response: I'm really pleased you liked this chapter. I thought the wedding had to have some magical element to it. Well, Harry wasn't completely sober and he is not the best at dating. I'm glad you think I capture him alright because I just love this character. Now, well, Hermione might have been write...

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Review #12, by AnnaKay 

16th March 2008:
Good chapter. You kept the flow going very well, not too slow to lose the reader but slower for the pace of a wedding.

Your details sounded awesome for this. A wedding has so many details for everything and I think that you managed to cover most of them in a really good way.

Harry can be just a little bit dense sometimes, can't he. What a weird comment, but I like how McGonagall is trying to help them out a little.

Author's Response: Thanks so much and I'm really glad you liked this chapter. I just thought I include some magic into the ceremony. Of course, I wrote this before DH, so I wasn't too sure what to expect, although I always thought that something was bound to happen at the wedding.

Harry, bless him, he hasn't a clue. He's fighting with himself here because, on the one hand, he's dying to be back with her and he's jealous of anyone else coming near her, and on the other, everyone he gets close to him tends to die, so he's frightened but, well, I couldn't see these two apart for ever...

Again, thanks so much. The next chapter is the really action based one, in fact.


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Review #13, by Mrs_Sirius_Black_4eva 

15th March 2008:
Harry drunk...interesting :p
Another wonderfully awesome chapter!
10/10

Author's Response: Well, he's pretending to be more drunk than he is at one point, but then, yeah, he's been on his own sipping champagne for a while, so, well, bound to happen. I actually write him very much as a typical 17 year old teenager, experimental and that. You will see him do a few more things in that vein in this story (ok, I never get him to take drugs, that would just be awful) but well, wait and see. I'm really glad you enjoyed it and thanks so much for the review.

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Review #14, by Aurora Dawn 

15th February 2008:
Hi Morgana,

I'm not going to pick this chapter to death, I'm just going to say that it was very fun to read.

I thought that the wedding scene in particular was just beautifully written and imagined. I like the 'wand joining' concept and it really fits into the series well. It sounds very JKR.

The scene is also fun to read because it has a lot of humor to it. Ron and Hermione are absolutely cute from time to time, and poor Harry...sometimes you can't help but laugh.

I like how you gave McGonagall a bit of a history. I've always wondered about the staff and their families but none of my stories have ever given me the chance to explore that ...yet. It's also fun to see Harry interact with his teacher as an equal, and not just a student.

Good job

Author's Response: Thanks so much again! I'm really glad you found it funny. Well, yes I wouldn't go taking dating lessons from either Ron or Harry lol

I thought the actual ceremony had to contain something magical and I thought of joining the wands, and I am very pleased that people seem to like this.

McGonagall, yes I wanted to present the teachers as human beings also. I think when you are young and are at school, it's easy to see teachers as a bit uni-dimensional. I thought I make up a bit about her past.

Your reviews as just so encouraging!


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Review #15, by subtle_plan 

13th January 2008:
Back with another review, goods and bads from chapter 5 :D

"He mustn't allow them!" would have been better off if you exchange mustn't with couldn't, or I think so, in any case. Mustn't just seems a bit... wrong, in the tense you are writing.

I love the way you wrote at one point that Harry 'exhaled charisma': that was very neat: I had never thought of that metaphor! I also really like your interpretation of a magical wedding, with the wands bonding at all. That was, to me, the best paragraph in the chapter because it was just so original and well done.

I also think you did a very good job with Ron in this chapter: all his dialogues sounded very... Ron.

And the little detail about a French boy talking to Ginny, and Harry thinking that next time he might be there in the wedding of Ginny and a French git-- haha! Good one!!

McGonagall seems a little OOC-- I have a hard time imagining her asking Harry to call her Minerva, or calling Harry Harry, for that sake--- but I have to say I love the way you made her send him on into Ginny's arms. That was hilarious :D

Ginny is acting seductively, but I kinda like it :P hehe. And I like the detail with her still calling Voldemort Tom :)

The ending, however, was very confusing. I've read it four times now, and I still don't understand what happens. Why did Moody come and stun Harry? At first I thought he was one of the Death Eaters, but why, then, would he have taken the time to read the note first, come alone and not stunned anyone else? In all it's just very confusing: I'm sure the thought behind it was good, but you would want to clarify it. I'm so confused!

Well, but as you probably could tell from my review I really liked this chapter :) Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Thanks so much again! I'm glad you like Ron and the idea for the ceremony. Yes, McGonnagall is being very informal here. I wanted to show a different dimension to her which she cannot allow to show at school. It seems clear for me from the books that she does have a bit of a soft spot for Harry which cannot really show because that would imply having favourite students, but yes, I think she worries about him.

Ginny of course is always going to be a bit more forward that Harry. Boys in general can be a bit clueless at that age, even if he really can't wait to be back with her. He is really struggling with his feelings here but I would say that Ginny usually gets what she wants, she is pretty tenacious.

About the ending. If it's that confusing (thanks for pointing this out) I will have to change it so that it reflects why Moody did what he did. The reason he stuns Harry is to prevent him from taking part in the rescue mission. It seems clear to them that this is a trap to get him (Harry), also he has had a bit to drink and could be an easy target. Moody is doing a bit what Dumbledore did in the Astronomy Tower, preventing him from being his noble self and getting himself killed or something. He doesn't stun the others because they will be needed but he just knows that Harry is not capable of sitting tight and the Burrow waiting for news, and whether he likes her or not, she is his aunt after all.

Thanks for pointing this out though and I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter.


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Review #16, by Girldetective85 

13th January 2008:
I love the description of the wedding! Very beautiful, and I liked the way you included Bill and Fleur's wands in the ceremony. I laughed out loud when McGonagall asked Harry to dance. Just priceless! I hope someone took a picture of that. Your Ginny and Harry have a lot of chemistry, which is a really nice change from all of the Ginny/Harry fics I've seen in which they don't have anything in common! I think Ginny especially is very in character. How sweet that Harry wanted to join his wand with hers, and marry her! HAHA and Molly and Fleur confessed their love for one another, with the help of some bubbly. Wonderful!

Aha and here is where the Petunia story comes in! They're luring the OotP to the car park, oh no! I'm curious why Mad-Eye stunned Harry - so he wouldn't be able to go off and save his aunt while drunk? I'm sure they would have some kind of potion to get rid of his intoxication ... maybe ... but it's something strange to do when you know Petunia is Harry's own family and despite their rocky relationship, he would want to go and save her.

I found an error earlier on: "Harry," Hermione changed the subject. "Did you get my letter? You didn't reply," Hermione changed the subject.

Well I love how this story is going! My reviews thread is jam packed but I will try my best to come back and read more of your story, I've been wanting to continue for some time and just couldn't find an opportunity. Keep up the good work, and feel free to come back sometime and remind me! I'm asking you to, so don't feel cheeky ... haha. Great job!

Author's Response: Ok, Moody doesn't stop Harry just because he is drund (Harry) but because he undestands who the true target is, that's just an excuse!

I'm glad you liked my wedding vowes, I thought it had to be something special, well, it's the wizarding world after all! I deviced this before DH and I have to say, yes, I made it more different! (vain me, never since she created a world I could never have written or concoctec!), but yes, Harry can be a romantic... or so it's my idea, but Ginny, well, like her mother, she is tough and bossy, right match for him, I thought. There will be a hell of a lot more on these two, but that's a general story, so no predominantly romance! I think it's more of a mystery/adventure but romance will feature, that's why I love novels, you can do a bit of everthing!

Hugs and thanks so much! x


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Review #17, by shadowkitty22 

12th January 2008:
So yeah, I just had to snicker at the idea of Harry using shaving foam. I know he's probably old enough to be shaving but I just keep imaging eleven year old Harry Potter from the movies and it's just really funny.

Oh and then the note was rather amusing as well. "Petunia has been taken. Good luck and congrats!" Obviously, this version leaves out all the details but it just seemed funny to be to add in a congratulations at the tail end of a note explaining that someone has just been kidnapped. Odd thing to call it kidnapping when it's an adult, don't you think? I understood the good luck part and that it could be used on both levels (the wedding and in finding Petunia) but it was just the congratulations that stuck out.

But hey, I've finally reached the chapters that you were talking about that involve all the questions that you have been asking on the forums in regards to Hermione's conversation with Petunia. Yay go me!

Emilie
=^_^=

Author's Response: You have almost made me laugh about the shaving foam, well, he is 17! His parents were only 20 when they had him! and in this story he is a grown up so to speak. Yes, he still have a lot of teenage issues, of course but, yes, life goes on and he is now physically a man! This story has mature rating for a reason but you will have to wait and see...

Yes, the note! Who do you reckon is from? Maybe the DEs are being sarcastic or maybe it comes not from a foe but from a friend... I hope it's not terribly obvious who wrote it because it will be important later on!

As for the word kidnapping, my understanding is that not only children can get kidnappped, I mean, is often more common because it tends to have more of an impact on the victim's family, but I believe anyone can be kidnapped. But please correct me if I'm wrong.

Yes, now you can see where I was coming from on the thread but of course, because of it, you already know who dies! That's the problem with the threads that you have to give stuff away (and potentially ruin it for your readers) in order for the predicament to be understood.

I can see you are enjoying this and thanks so much for reading and reviewing! x


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Review #18, by pandadude 

11th January 2008:
--- jet from the forums, reviewing as promised ;] ---

I really love where your going with this story! Your writing is amazing [I haven't found any errors so far] and your plot is unique, creative, and well thought out.

Great story so far!
:]

Author's Response: Goodness, I'm really chuffed with your review! Extremely encouraging! Hope you have the time to continue reading because there will be lots of twists and turns in this!

Thanks so much x


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Review #19, by DragonGoddess 

23rd December 2007:
Ooohh. I loved the marriage plan...the sparks flying as the wand was placed on their clasped hand...well thought of!

'Let's go, let's get something to eat, let's sample that highly spoken of Burgundy wine. I can't wait!' - - far too many lets in this sentence. Use something different?

LOL. This mad me laugh!!

'otherwise, who knew, maybe in a couple of years time, he would have to be back there, to celebrate Ginny's wedding to a French git!

A small typo:

'the Death Eaters must now we are all getting wasted,' - it should be 'know we are all'

'They just lied on the lawn shouldn't it be laid? Lied means telling a lie, right?

Fascinating ending! I wish to read more!! But I have to go now, will return soon!

Author's Response: Well spotted again. You obviously have an eye for detail (which I don't!) yes it should be know an laid (of course lied is to do with telling lies).

The ending is a cliffhanger, of course. I just thought that something had to happen at the wedding and that it wouldn't be the obvious attack on the venue, since the DE would have expected the Order to protect the place.

Yes, the magic in the ceremony. I thought it had to be slightly different to a muggle one, more magical...

There will be some real action in the next chapter...

Well, thanks so much again!


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Review #20, by _DearMyLove_ 

17th December 2007:
Wow I loved the ending, it was very abrupt and left me wanting to read on to see what’s going to happen next!

I picked up on a few grammar-y things, although not that much really :)
1) “"Harry," Hermione changed the subject. "Did you get my letter? You didn't reply." Hermione changed the subject.” – Pretty obvious, really, you’ve repeated ‘Hermione changed the subject’
2) “Harry not truly concentrated on the topic at hand.” – I reckon it should be ‘concentrating’
3) “with long gloves, like in the old films.” – I didn’t really like the structure of this sentence. Perhaps something like ‘with long gloves, such as those worn in old films’ or something
4) “him and Voldemort's wands” – it should be ‘his and Voldemort’s wands’

Overall, I liked this chapter. I thought it was nice to get away from all the new ideas about religion etc that you’ve been introducing and just have a happy chapter. I especially liked the description of the wedding. I thought it was a very beautiful idea, and also quite intriguing, as I’d like to find out about the magical contract that is made during the wedding. I expect you’ll explain about it later! ^_^

I thought that a few of your characters were a little ooc. Professor McGonagall springs to mind, especially this line:
“"I am, Mr Potter," she confirmed flirtatiously too.”
I just don’t think she would be flirtatious ever, even in a joking, drunk way. I actually can’t even see her being drunk. It seems completely out of character. Ron was another character that seemed a little out. It is true that he can be a little tactless at times with what he says, but not all the time, which is the way you presented him. He knows when to be sensible, or rather when Hermione tells him to be sensible, so I don’t think he would be quite as blunt all the time.

Finally, there was this line:
“They both looked handsome and grown up.”
Ron and Harry are both seventeen when this is happening, so I think they would look grown up by default really. I doubt they would have to dress up specially to be grown up.

Really, I thought this chapter was very good. You’ve developed Ginny and Harry’s relationship very well, and I like the way that they both obviously like each other, but are both resisting their feelings. It was a little long, but that’s ok, and I didn’t have any trouble reading it. I hope this review has helped, even if it is a little short, and I should be able to be a little quicker with my reviews from now on as I’m on holiday! :D

Katherine
xxx

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your very detailed review!

The ending, well, yes, a bit of a cliffhanger. I was always convinced that something had to happen at the wedding in canon. Yes, there will be some action in the next chapter.

Now, the grammar and spelling. The first two ones are just oversights really. Now, yes maybe the sentence with the gloves needs sorting out somehow. The forth one is another oversight (I can't believe that I haven't spotted these! I guess since I know the chapter I'm re-reading too quickly!)

Thanks a lot also for help with the characterisation. Ok, Ron, I guess you find him too blunt when is talking about Lily's letter. He doesn't say anything absolutely terrible but then again you have a point. I should make him a very more subtle in places.

McGonagall is not completely drunk by any means. I think I may take off the remark about flirtation because no, she wouldn't flirt with Harry! Whatever I was thinking off. I wanted to portray her in a different context, more relaxed, to prove that teachers are also normal people outside of school. She is a bit worried about Harry, there all by himself and I wanted to show that everyone has noticed his attitude to Ginny.

Now, I don't think it is necessarily the fact that they are dressed formally that makes them look grown up. Of course, to someone who hasn't seen them in a long time, this would have been obvious no matter what they were wearing but maybe this made someone like Ginny realise more because she is used to both in either uniform or casual clothes.

I'm so pleased you enjoyed this chapter, especially the bits with Harry and Ginny. Yes, there will be plenty more on these two.

Again, thanks so much for this review!


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Review #21, by kara101 

16th December 2007:
I am back again

Loved the description with the wedding. It was well written. I would have made Harry and Ginny dance though. I am out of words. I loved it! On to the next chapter.

Author's Response: I'm pleased you liked my wedding. I thought that magic had to come into it somehow. Now, Harry and Ginny do actually dance (although not for very long) when McGonnagall throws Harry into Ginny's arms which I thought it would be funny. He is such a disaster when it comes to girls, bless him!

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Review #22, by Bella_Portia 

11th November 2007:
Fascinating idea, tying the fedelius charm to the secret keeper so that it the Potter house charm would have continued in possession of Peter all these years. I've never understood how it worked but, now that you mention it, the secret does appear to be tied to the place, not its occupants. (I suppose the theory is that LV broke the charm, but the details are none too clear.)

Again, I thought the discussion of religion was rather interesting (and I could just see Slughorn trying to corral the Archbishop of Canterbury for his Christmas party -- good line), but I did think the ignorance a bit hard to buy. Harry and Hermione, viewed realistically, may well have been confirmed (presumably in the COE) before they ever heard of Hogwarts.

Lovely description of the wedding, really well done
And I also liked the bit with Harry and Minerva dancing.

Scene with Harry and Ginny is especially good on the dialogue: I think you heard this scene very clearly in your head. Thought it was the best dialogue scene so far, because the way the people spoke was "them" and organic, but it also helped color their character.


Author's Response: First of all, thanks so, so much for your really detailed reviews. They are great!

Now, the fidelius charm!!! Well, I posted a thread on this at the time of writing this chapter (before DH came out) and I confused myself and the whole forum as well! Now, even after DH I'm still not too clear... Now, of course, not everything Harry believes has to be the truth. He thinks that only Peter as SK can take them there but apparently he may be able to see the house since he lived there. The problem is that he was only a baby, so there may be still a twist on this. Like in canon, he really wants to go there soon but it's too risky because Voldemort knows him too well and the fact that he can be sentimental. I think Hermione will try to delay him a bit but just to spoil it a bit, a very important scene will take place in Godric Hollow towards the end. What happened in canon is the Peter betrayed them, so he told Voldy of the location. Now, with Grimmauld Place, we see in DH that all the people in the know become secret keepers in turn but in chapter 9 you will see that it's not quite the case in my story. I have decided to follow my original plot, so they will just find another secret keeper after Dumbledore's death.

Yes, the religious thing is perhaps the most AU thing in the whole story. Now, Harry and Hermione know the Christian tradition well, Ron hasn't a clue. I'll re-read this to ensure that it hasn't come across the wrong way. Now, ok, after DH in an interview JKR said that wizards could adhere to any religion just like muggles, so I would guess yes Hermione and Harry would be probably COE but I imagine the Weasleys more as Pagans (druid tradition or something on those lines). This was hard to do because in the books JKR never mentions religion at all, not even at Dumbledore's funeral, so I was at a loss as to how to portray them. Harry does reply to Hermione that he is aware of the Christian idea of sacrifice etc, so, yes of course he did know.

I'm glad you liked the wedding and the bit with Minerva.

Now, Harry / Ginny are quite special to me, so yes, I think I lived that scene in my head. They were both dying to get back together but Harry has gone obsessed with the going to die soon thing, but the feelings and the attraction are just too strong...

Thanks so much for this.


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Review #23, by Fields Of Innocence09 

3rd November 2007:
This chapter is very descriptive, i loved how you described the events that happened at the wedding.
I also liked how you showed McGonagall in a whole new light, we always see her as a stern and sensible witch but you have portrayed her as more than that, she can dance and she has had two husbands!
Ron was really funny in this, as he always is anyways, i love how you wrote his character, you wrote him well!
Harry's "drunkness" was also very amusing =] It was sweet how he said he'd come back for Ginny after the war, if she'd still have him.
Despite all the good stuff it ended dramatically and on a negative note which gave a twist to the chapter. There was none of this happily ever after crap, it was straight to the 'i have kidnapped Petunia'. Haha i loved it!
This story is excellent so far, i promise i will read and most likely review the other chapters later, but i do have to review other people's stories as well and this is very long. But long is good!
I hope these reviews have been helpful to you, it's been a pleasure reading this story! =D
10/10

Author's Response: Don't worry about what you can review or how soon, I love all reviews and your are amazing, positive but still vey in-dept!

Well, M McGonagall, yes, she is a senior teacher but still a human being, I thougt I give her some background, but of course, it's Harry! and again I wanted to show Harry that he is not the only one to have lost people! and that there is a point in continuing to live even if your parents, or husbands or whatever are dead, nasty I know but true in a way... and yes, I think hearing it from Minerva was powerful. although she says it in a matter of fact sort of way... yes Harry and Ginny, wait and see... this goes a lot further than DH with them. I did it in case he didn't survive.... but that's much later on


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Review #24, by Kahlan 

28th October 2007:
This is progressing rather nicely^^ I loved the wedding, and Harry and Ginny afterwards in particular. It was sweet.

I really think you're onto something when it comes to the plot, and I know this is only the beginning! However, I have a lot on my agenda at the moment, but I will definately be back to read the rest!

one thing though:
"How did you guessed?" Guess?

You have these mistakes, sometimes. But that isn't anything a beta, (or yourself) reading thoroughly through it wont catch.

Author's Response: As for the guessing, everything up to and including chapter 14 was written before DH, the eniding too!

Now, Harry/Ginny again, I love them! Ok, what I do with them, you will have to wait and see but, ok, put it this way they are adults in this story, with adult responsibilities etc...


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Review #25, by GoCalgaryFlamesGo 

26th October 2007:
Ooh, cliffhanger :P

I really loved the interaction between Harry and Minerva, as well as the little bit of Minerva's back story that we recieved :D And I loved the actual wedding, it was really sweet :D

Favorite line "I mean it, Ginny." There was a sense of urgency in his voice. "I mean it! Otherwise, I'll come back for you after the war is over, I promise, that is, if you'd still have me." AWW!!!

Author's Response: Yes, I really like Minerva as a character. Her past just came to me as I was writing the scene, perhaps as if to prove that teachers are also human beings! Now, yes, Harry really has feelings for Ginny and obviously the champagne has losen his tongue a little. Thanks so much again. Well, the cliffhanger, yes. I'm actually in the process of editing the next chapter, but the plot is still the same, I'm just adding more detail, trying to make it more clear and so forth. I hope you keep on reading and I'm very pleased you are following this fic.

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