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Reading Reviews for Extempore, Chapter 15: Fifteen
  
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by PhoenixStorm 

18th July 2007:
Ooo, exciting chapter! A relatively short review coming I think, I want to read the next one :p . I don't think I've mentioned this before, but I love the way you write the Order as a unit, in my Marauder fic I personally find it difficult to write the organisational side of things, and work out a hierarchy of mission setting and delegating, intelligence and all that. It's very together in your fic, and it is believable that they move with past experience of war.

There were quite a few bits I liked here, so I'm just going to go through them in the order they appeared rather then try to put them together in sensible groups in paragraphs. Molly was worried more now than ever and, rather than asking you over for dinner a few nights a week, had begun delivering dinner to your office, that's very Molly and it made me grin to think of Remus so checked up on :D . Not only would you have been able to hear a pin drop. You could have heard the sound of that same pin trying to form a thought in spite of its status as an inanimate object I liked this phrasing, interesting expansion there lol.

This needed a new paragraph I reckon “We’re going to lose, Lupin.” || It was a jarring realization to find that you and Mad-Eye agreed on something, more disconcerting for it to be a prediction of early and painful defeat He shouldn't say that! I'm wary of where you're taking this now and what you're going to do to these characters you know :p . It was effectively written admittedly. the part of you that had outgrown and colored over your own youthful indiscretions I just liked this bit, quite a lot, it's just true :D . So, really liked this chapter! :)

Author's Response: Everything I know about war I learned from the History Channel, M.A.S.H. and J.J. Abrams :P Nah, that's not entirely true, but I just always had this concept that someone had to combat the notion that the Order was an entity moving about on Dumbledore's orders because, once he was dead, there had to be someone to organize everything and, Mad-Eye, being a character who was never as compelling as Dumbledore would, I figured, need paperwork :p He always struck me as the kind of guy - with his concept of constant vigilance - who would want to drown you in paperwork to make sure that everything was accounted for and recorded....

This chapter seems to have been amas with quotes that I liked too :P


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Review #2, by DAC 

13th January 2007:
ok I'm confused... Intrigued... but confused

Chapter 16 soon? Yea? That way I don't go mad.

Thanks!

Author's Response: :) I hope it made more sense later :)

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