Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.





  
28 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Sushmita 

7th December 2016:
This was definitely a much more entertaining chapter and felt believable than the earlier chapters. I think I saw one word misspelt.

 Report Review

Review #2, by AndrinaBlack 

8th April 2008:
It's so long ago I started reading this story and why it has taken me so long to come back is beyond me. I guess I have to start from the beginning when I get to the end to really remember how it started. Now all the Sirius/Lily love/hate during april fools made me remember to come back to your page. And then I come right before going to sleep so I have to continue later again... But to the story, which I was happy to be reading again. :)

I'm so jealous of your descriptions! Like the first paragraph. It's so effortless and easy somehow but still it has a lot of description in it and you really get the feel of the place. Sometimes descriptions are overdone and seem forced, but not yours.

You seem to like to write Narcissa as well and you do that well too. You show her different sides, making her both nice and purebloodishly stuck up. Her words in this chapter actually make the pureblood way of looking at things somewhat understandable.

Ooh! I loved that fluffy, funny, cute little nargle insident!

-Annina

 Report Review

Review #3, by Blissbug 

11th January 2008:
This was a great chapter, I laughed and loved the glimpses into the strange family of Black. Really good!

 Report Review

Review #4, by Tearlit 

15th April 2007:
This was great! I love the nargles.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review!

 Report Review

Review #5, by Lizzy 

2nd March 2006:
Another wonderful chapter; I’ve been so busy with school I have hardly had time to visit HPFF lately. But I am back, and what a wonderful chapter, (and humorous) to begin with. I am very interested in seeing where you are going with this story, keep up the wonderful work.

Author's Response: Thank you!

 Report Review

Review #6, by Noblevyne 

9th January 2006:
Again with love for Narcissa, you write her more compassionately than most writers, she and Sirius play off one another well. There's some great diversity amongst your players, everyone is well characteristed and individual and I do love the idea of a ball held for Blacks and other purebloods, gives some charm to that world.

Author's Response: Thank you!

 Report Review

Review #7, by Kimberly 

25th December 2005:
Sirius and Narcissa relationship is strange but likeable. I'm glad Lucius was humiliated in front of everyone. You did a great job as always.

Author's Response: Thank you!

 Report Review

Review #8, by Cor_Leonis 

2nd December 2005:
I have to be completely honest. After reading this chapter, I was unsure if Sirius was actually still eleven. There was so much talk of love and kissing and the serious conversation between Narcissa and Sirius made me doubt my sanity. Not only that, but Cat was ragging on Sirius about him not wanting to kiss her. I must be too old. I think I forget what it's like to be eleven. (Or else I was a very immature eleven year old, which is quite possible.) I did, however, love the ending of the chapter with the Nargles. GREAT explanation of how they can infest mistletoe and the havoc they can cause. Loved that.

Author's Response: He's actually not eleven...he's 12 1/2. And I really really promise, I did research on this before embarking on this plotline so early. I was afraid it was too early too and I may have made it deeper than intended. Cat is older and a bit pushy, and reasons for that will come to light in later chapters as well. I hate saying that because I feel like I'm not doing something right and need to move it along faster :( Thanks again for all the wonderful and helpful comments!

 Report Review

Review #9, by laughable_black_storm 

20th November 2005:
The beginning of this chapter captured my attention right away. The description of how the house was decorated is marvelous, and the way you said 'the smells of Christmas' was nice too. I like how this chapter has a variety of sentence lengths, which helps it stay smooth and flowing. Your vocabulary is great because you use different words instead of all the normal ones. One thing that you should look out for is your dialogue, for sometimes you put a period instead of a comma before you say who said it. You have a few spelling mistakes, but nothing a quick read couldn't fix. Another thing that kind of confused me was when you all of a sudden added Cat into the chapter without giving off the slightest hint; you can just go back and put in somewhere in the conversation that Sirius smelled the rosmary and mint. I think that when he kissed Cat's hand he was being a touch out of character, even if he is very mature for his age. And yes -- I'm quite opinionated :D. Back to the bright side: I love the little conversation with Sirius and his uncle; the whole getting a chair for the front row seat brightened up the whole chapter. Great chapter, and keep it up!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

 Report Review

Review #10, by kaitlyn 

12th November 2005:
what an amazing story this is, its full of humour yet still has those angsty emotions we all love, I can't wait till the next one!

Author's Response: Thank you!

 Report Review

Review #11, by Hiduras 

9th November 2005:
"Or the self absorbed brat from hell" Ha! that is what I call a seer... and at such a young age, his mother must be proud... I really enjoied this chapter. I like the way we slowly see Sirius drifting away from his family, little by little, inch by inch, nicely done! And Narcissa she is just as I pictured her! One thing I really liked was the way Narcissa talked to him when she was on orders from "someone". The way you discribe, from the inside, what is so special about being a Pureblood, we never hear that in cannon! Well thank you for a great story so far, now that I have catched up I will stick with it, it is so wonderfull! Heidi

Author's Response: Thank you!

 Report Review

Review #12, by Rachel. 

1st November 2005:
I just discovered this story today but I wasn't able to stoped reading until I finished. Sirius has always been one of my favorite characters, but it's so hard to find a good piece about him. This is most definitely one of those elusive good pieces. I must admit, there are a few things throwing me for a loop here, such as why Sirius' uncle (is it Alphard, perhaps?) left Cat in Sirius' parents care instead of taking her in himself, or leaving her with a muggle orphange, but I'm sure all those questions will be cleared up in time. Also, perhaps I missed it, but did you mention exactly how old Cat is? This is a really great story and I can't wait for the next chapter. Keep up the good work.

Author's Response: Wow. That is such an amazing compliment. Thank you so much! I really really do appreciate the comments. To answer your question, there is a specific reason his uncle (yes, he is unnamed but yes, it is Alphard) brought Cat to Grimmauld. It will come to light, a promise, and hope it will actually prove to be an interesting twist that no one expected. I did not mention Cat's age and that was actually on purpose. She is several years older than Sirius but exactly how many is entirely up to the readers imagination. As you learn more about her in upcoming chapters though, you should be able to guess within a year...her "revelation" chapters will clear up a lot about her and her history. Again, thanks for coming along and I hope you stay with me!

 Report Review

Review #13, by Violet Gryfindor 

26th October 2005:
This is brilliant, timeturner! I love how you mixed in the humour of Sirius's prank against the gravity of his discussion with Narcissa. The Nargles were simply hilarious - Lucius so deserved what he got. =D I also really liked how you characterized Narcissa. You give her a nicer depth than some people, as well as a kind side, particularily with Sirius. It's hard to explain what you did to make her so easy to sympathize with, but whatever it was, it was amazing. The line when she and Sirius are talking “Or the self absorbed brat from hell, made me thing of Draco right away - such a perfect guess on Sirius's part! Altogether, this is an excellent addition to your story, which is turning out really well. I can't see anything wrong with this chapter at all. =) Congrats on another success!

Author's Response: Thank you!!

 Report Review

Review #14, by Annika Keys 

23rd October 2005:
this is great so far. I just came upon it. Great job. If you ever need help, don't hesitate to ask. : )

Author's Response: Thanks so much, Annika. This has been such a struggle that I may very well take you up on that! Thanks for coming over and joining me and I'm glad you like it!

 Report Review

Review #15, by Rebekka 

22nd October 2005:
Hiii... I'm so excited that you took a little lighter route for this one. It gives the whole story more hopeful undertone. :)

By the way, I have to disagree with you and Lucid about Lucius. He was younger then and all aristocrats have that uglier and not so refined side. I liked him just the way you wrote him. I wouldn't change anything about him not in this chapter and not in the earlier chapters. :) But of course, it's your choice. :) I can't wait for the next chapter to come out. :)

Author's Response: Thank you!!

 Report Review

Review #16, by Lucid 

20th October 2005:
I love the description of the first three paragraphs, they really do invite you into the party through Sirius’s eyes, and it's wonderful to read. The description has a wonderful physical feeling to it with the smells and sights. It's sad to see that Sirius can’t fully allow himself to have a good time; he seems to feel far too ill at ease with what technically are family and friends around. He has a most interesting relationship with Narcissa, the way he has to parry and riposte during his conversation with her. It's feels like survival of the quickest wit, and Sirius seems to have grown up knowing how to deal with it, well some of it – he still has things to learn, which I like. I thought the bit where Sirius tell Cat to come out of hiding was terrific, I loved that he was insightful enough to know that she were there, as well as know her smell – and that’s desperately romantic too. She was obviously more than a little jealous there, or in the very least wondering who had taken Sirius attentions away from the rest of the gathering. The bit I loved best of all, was his Uncle turning up and again, with his wit and patience, he puts Sirius at ease with himself and provides that much needed firm and secure base, from which Sirius can function from. I am really looking forward to the next chapter knowing that Sirius’s Uncle will be a part of it, his interaction with Sirius and Cat are always insightful, he gives us more depth and clues as to what is going on, than any other character I feel. Wonderful again :)

Author's Response: Thanks to Kay for help with those…she really was the driving force behind the framework for that opening. I talked her ear off about them :) Survival of the quickest was such a wonderful way to describe this…that’s exactly what I was trying to convey here. I’m glad you could also see that somethings he still needs to learn and can’t cope with yet…I’m always afraid those brief moments of child likeness for him will be glossed over. I love that you mentioned the bit about Sirius noticing her scent! It’s one of those tiny little things that I was hoping would add some realism to the story. I hope it worked! I hate to say this because you sounded so excited…but the uncle isn’t in the next chapter :( The next chapter is Cat and Sirius only (a semester to catch up on, after all) and then the next chapter (is it 11?) will be the eventful day out on the town. Where, I’m afraid, some of the uncle’s niceness may be colored by some very Black family values (or not, you never can tell with me!)

 Report Review

Review #17, by Nina_wife_of _Fres 

20th October 2005:
“Or the self absorbed brat from hell,” he mumbled with a small grin. That line just made me laugh =D

Wow you write Narcissa so well, she really is so self obsessed...but she is loyal to family and you can tell she cares Sirius.

Haha those Nargles were a great touch though .. wreaking havoc on the party ...

You say you lost readers but I really can't understand why, I'm really looking forward to the next chapter =D

Author's Response: Thank you!!

 Report Review

Review #18, by kz 

19th October 2005:
I love them! Luna would be proud!

Author's Response: thanks, kz

 Report Review

Review #19, by anonomus 

18th October 2005:
The chapters keep getting better and better!I loved the way we get to see Sirius acting like a kid!

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

 Report Review

Review #20, by summer_rain (who's too lazy to sign in) 

18th October 2005:
I think this is one of my favorite chapters so far. The first two paragraphs describing the house are fantastic, I love the vivid details you used. Your Narcissa is excellent. Wickedly pureblood, one of those love-to-hate-her girls. The talk between her and Sirius was really well done. I was thrilled to read more about Sirius and Cat. I loved Cat's little temper-tantrum! Oh, the nargles were the best. That made me literally laugh out loud. Serves old Lucius right. Two teensy little grammatical things I noticed. "That dark dangerous one that turns all the girls heads at Hogwarts." Girls needs an apostrophe. And "You have never cared about anyone other yourself" is missing a than. Don't get discouraged on this, because each chapter is getting better and better. You're doing a fantastic job!!

Author's Response: Wicked! That is the word I tried to figure out for days to try and describe her! Darn it! Cat does have a temper in her...one that matches well up against Sirius' own. It should make for some fireworks as time goes on. Thanks for the grammar mistakes...I've been so worried about the story that I didn't even notice things like that. I'll make sure to get them fixed so thank you so much! I'm glad to know this is your favorite...it was painstakingly written so that truly means a lot to me.

 Report Review

Review #21, by robyn 

18th October 2005:
wait-this is new...when did you add this? never mind. I loved it. It was such a nice break and we got to see sirius acting like a kid again...those moments are priceless since he has so few. i could see the party all around him..you did excellent on that. Keep it up and until next trial prep time let us know how far along you get!

Author's Response: Thanks, Robyn

 Report Review

Review #22, by DarkDesires 

18th October 2005:
Ahh, I love it. This truly shows a different side of Sirius, and the new character is interesting. Sirius is pranking, that just makes it all the better. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks, Dark...I'm glad to have you along. It's been tough going but thanks to wonderful readers I'm hoping to add a bit more fun and adventure for Sirius to help balance the serious things going on in his life. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #23, by xobebeox 

18th October 2005:
Such a good chapter! I love the prank... I love what you made nargles out to be, and I loved the entire party. It must be incredibly hard on Narcissa though... even though she is kind of shallow, we all have feelings and I think you showed that really well. I'm excited to read the next chapter. I'm so glad you came back just as strong as ever, even though it may be hard. Keep going because this story is beautiful, and you are such a good writer. xoxo

Author's Response: I loved writing the nargles, they were so much fun to create! I'm glad you were able to see that break for Narcissa. The HBP scene with Snape made me believe there is goodness in her but her life has darkened that...sort of a direct opposite of Sirius. I hope to use that as the story goes on. And thank you for the encouragement and support through this...it means more than I can ever say.

 Report Review

Review #24, by dreamdweller 

18th October 2005:
Wow...I am actually feeling sorry for Narcissa. I mean, that situation would be bad for anyone, marrying someone that you don't love. But I guess she is still making the choice, so I don't have to feel too bad. I really enjoy the interactions between Sirius and Narcissa, they have such an interesting chemistry. The one thing that might have made this chapter better is more Sirius/Cat interaction, but I guess I'll just wait until the next chapter to see if you really get into it some more. Cat seems to be the only character I really don't have a feel for yet, and maybe thats what you're going for, but I would love to learn a little bit more about her character. Anywho, great chapter and I can't wait for the next update. Keep up the great work!

Author's Response: I want you to feel a little bad for her so that's good but, your right...she is making this choice and has to be responsible for that decision. I really think she and Sirius play well off each other, both being from the same background but taking such different routes in adulthood. I think they'll be fun to play with as this goes on. I had planned to beef up the Cat part but was struggling so much I went ahead and posted. The next chapter though starts exactly where this leaves off and Sirius and Cat are together for the entire thing allowing you to learn more about her and Sirius. Thanks for sticking with me and being so supportive!

 Report Review

Review #25, by Drommen 

18th October 2005:
Ahah! Really nice prank! This chapter has some great dialogue between Sirius and Narcissa. The characters are really developing, instead of being bidimensional figures that make things happen - a mistake that so far you have never made. Descriptions, the bane of many existences, are as strong as usual. My only remark is that I found the conversation between Cat and Sirius a bit short. Maybe it could be developed more? Anyway, I'm really glad you kept writing. (This is the part I turn into a fanatic teenager with too much coffee in his veins.) Please upd8 soon! I'll stop breathing if you don't!!! I mean it!!!

Author's Response: Thanks. I was actually surprised how well they played off each other but was glad it turned out so well. I agree about the conversation with Cat...I planned to develop this more but had struggled so much I gave up and just posted the chapter....leave it to you to call me on it :) I may still go back but the next chapter is only the two of them swapping stories so I may wait to see if that flushes things out before I try and rewrite...I'd love to hear your opinion on it when the next chapter gets up and if you still think I need to add more to this one. Anyway, I'll stop rambling but I do want to say thank you ever so much for everything you've done to help me get through this. You've been absolutely wonderful

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login
Add a Review
<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>