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28 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Sushmita 

7th December 2016:
The sorting hat stuff was great but the senseless violence that followed in Hogsmeade made no sense. I'm sure Dumbledore wouldn't have allowed something like this. And I don't get the idea that Sirius' parents would get him beaten up for no reason.

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Review #2, by spangles 

26th May 2009:
That was breath taking.and quite scary. I've never read a Sirius fic before but I'm very excited to read yours, Sirius is a little more into the pureblood stuff (in a way) than I would of thought him to be but you're doing an excellent job!! 11/10!!

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Review #3, by Blissbug 

11th January 2008:
Oh my gosh, you shouldn't have been worried about this chapter, its excellent. You have a real talent for building the tension without it being obvious, and the way you characterize through dialogue, its refreshing!

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Review #4, by AndrinaBlack 

23rd August 2007:
Poor Sirius! :( How horrible his parents are! This was again a good chapter and there were a lot of different emotions as you said.

A moment I really had a Harry-Ron-Hermione vision, which was funny. It was this bit:
“That’s a banned substance, you know.” Lily’s voice made both boys look up.

“What are you going to do, report us?” James’ haughty voice made Sirius cringe but she ignored him and offered Sirius her hand.


Lily made me so think of Hermione and then Sirius is Harry and James is Ron. Like in their first train ride Hermione was much friendlier towards Harry than Ron (as Ron wasn't being very clever or anything :D )


Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to read and review!

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Review #5, by Drucila 

10th May 2007:
OMG!! i am shocked :O how could his father do that to him?! oh poor siruis.. and was i right in suspecting they used the cruciatus curse?? and if so.. OMG!! how could they.. on a liitle kid.. aw this chappy was really well done tho!! *snaps for you* hehe :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

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Review #6, by Noblevyne 

9th January 2006:
Much love for the Sorting Hat sequence, perfectly fitting with the whole Sirius doing his rebel with a cause act, not letting anyone get in his way or see who he is. Man, it must have made him terribly uncomfortable knowing the the Sorting Hat sees all because he's such an insular person.

Really hated his parents during this, poor kid, makes you really feel for the boy carrying all these expectations on himself and they just remind me of so many other annoying parents that thin they know what's best for their children when all they want to do mould them into what they think a child should be, despite everything. Sirius' thoughts are perfectly characterised: he takes it all on himself, little kids will always accept that they are the ones at fault if their parents tell them enough.

Lucius is so evil, he's the typical jock, bully...a regular little Nazi Youth, the final line is horrifying, the dispassionate deluvery and the image of this little boy ashamed and hurting is an awful one.

You write James fine, he's everything I see in him at that age.

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #7, by Hiduras 

7th November 2005:
Poor Sirius, I really hate Lucius! This was a good, wellwritten chapter as always. I liked the introduction of Lily and Peter adn I am looking forward to say hallo to Remus! I have a few things to correct (I think, sometimes I'm wrong of course!); “oafs were trying to make him to eat owl droppings.” Isn't there a "to" to much? and; "Neither James nor Sirius were exciting at the prospect of..." Shouldn't it be "excited" instead of exciting? Well on to the next chapter... I have a bit of catching up to do! - Heidi

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #8, by Cor_Leonis 

2nd November 2005:
Goodness me. I'm still unsure if this chapter was really fast paced or if I was so sucked in I was holding my breath and unaware of time passing me by. :) I really liked James and Sirius together and am hoping to see more of that to come. Lily and Peter's appearances were also nice, as was our introduction to Lucius. I was quite surprised at just how far spiteful and mean you've made Sirius's parents, however this will explain a lot to come. Another interesting chapter, with great descriptions. I'm looking forward to reading more.

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #9, by kz 

19th October 2005:
I hate his father. Despise him.

Author's Response: um, thanks. I think :/

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Review #10, by robyn 

18th October 2005:
this was a sad sad story. that last line just hit me right in the stomach. this is getting better with each one

Author's Response: Thanks, Robyn

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Review #11, by Lizzy 

15th October 2005:
Poor Sirius does his family’s curtly have no bounds. I enjoyed the interactions between James, Sirius, Lily and Peter at the beginning of the chapter. The sorting was very entertaining, almost reminiscent of Harry’s. And his parent’s reactions to the sorting were well with in canon. The fight scene was a bit confusing, I read it twice. It sounds like it took place in the Tavern, but then wouldn’t there be a lot of people to witness it. All and all it was very a very entertaining chapter. It will be fun to experience Hogwarts through Sirius’ eyes.

Author's Response: That scene confused even me. I had to have help with it and even then it seemed a bit off. I finally gave up and just posted it. The people did disappear and at least in one edit I mentioned that but whether or not it made it through to the final version I haven't a clue. Sorry it was so confusing for you and I'm glad you stayed to read onto the next chapter. Thank you very very much!

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Review #12, by Drommen 

6th October 2005:
Poor Sirius. Those stinky, slimy, stupid, oily, disgusting, sons of... (you get the rest) Slytherins. Like you said in your authors note, this was a multi-emotion chapter. I liked seeing Lily, I was revolted to see the pre-historic behavior of those guys, that unfortunately also happens in the real world, and it was funny the whole James-lion-itching thing. Once again, excellent work!

Author's Response: Thanks you...much appreciated :)

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Review #13, by JaxGranger 

6th October 2005:
Dear God. Poor Sirius! I do love this passage, "They were right, weren’t they? He had betrayed them before he even knew them. They, just like his family, had every right to hate him." I think that's where Sirius' personality was formed... right in that moment. The defiance, the pride, the courage. He's all alone in the world now. Poor guy. You've reallly drawn me in... I have no idea how you could lose readers... reading on....

Author's Response: *cries* neither do I. You are the ONLY person to have mentioned that. The only one. It means a lot that you did notice it and I completely agree with you...the Sirius you see from now on will be completely different and those who missed that point will be a little lost for awhile at the change in him. Excellent catch!

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Review #14, by Kimberly 

10th September 2005:
Sirius father is an ass. I hope he gets his ass kicked for having poor sirius in pain. Any way good chapter.

Author's Response: LOL! He really is isn't it? Thanks Kimberly!

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Review #15, by Connaisance_moi 

29th August 2005:
Sirius's bravery shows through even more clearly at this stage...definitely a Gryfindor....so u loved torturing him huh? The last line, just in one sentence you could deduce his father's personality.....he thought by getting him beaten up he'd get sorted into Slytherin...but if his father plans to take him to another school how does he remain at Hogwarts?

Author's Response: That's the burning question, isn't it? I have the feeling that Sirus' uncle has some of Sirius' famous persuasion abilities in him and it doesn't hurt that he's willing to bend the rules a little to get what he wants. Thanks so much! (and yes, I adore torturing him!)

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Review #16, by laughable_black_storm 

25th August 2005:
I really liked this chapter; I have noticed, however, that you tend to forget to put a comma after the word "but", you always should. The ending was wonderful, but really sad. Keep it up please!

Author's Response: I'm terrible with commas! Just horrible. Thankfully, I have someone checking over things before I post them now so hopefully those errors will be cut down as the chapters go on. Thanks so much!

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Review #17, by dreamdweller 

25th August 2005:
Great chapter for the most part. The train ride was great, nice way to introduce Lily and Peter. The sorting was good too, Sirius' impatience was very clever. My only problem was the lack of detail, which doesn't usually seem to be a problem with your writing. For this chapter, however, a little more detail, like in the headmaster's office and Hogsmeade, might have made that part of the chapter seem less rushed. And I'm still not clear how or why they went to Hogsmeade in the first place, how could Lucius beating up Sirius change the fact that he was a Gryffindor? Anyway, overall a great chapter, the last line was especially disturbing. I can't wait for your next update!

Author's Response: I really appreciate the comments and I agree completely...I've struggled a lot with this story and I appreciate you having faith in me and continuing to come back. Details are something I tend to waver on..sometimes they come out strong and other times they are almost nonexistent. I've tried to work on that a lot but obviously I still need to be careful about it. As for his father, his father wasn't trying to change the sorting hat's decision..he's not that foolish. He blames Sirius for the hat's decision and believes its because Sirius doesn't understand the importance of being pureblood. By demonstrating the power and abilities of purebloods and their willingness to stand together for anything, his father believed Sirius would learn a valuable lesson. Excellent point and I'm glad you brought it up. Thanks so much!

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Review #18, by Rebekka 

24th August 2005:
I can see why you wanted to get this written and posted as soon as possible. :) I also understand why you felt the need to apologise the ending. And I can clearly see that your story needed this chapter to happen. And I know you will give us answers later, maybe in the last chapter even. Okay, so I trust you as an author. :) I just have to say that I loved everything else, except the way they ended up in Hogsmeade. I still have trouble with the fact that you leave so many things out. Even if he is a child and you write from his pov... sometimes I need more. What was Dumbledore's reaction? That I missed the most. I think he would protect any of 'his children' to the very end. But I think Sirius was too distracted to notice what Dumbledore said or did. I hope it will be cleared in the next chapter. I think I should read this story when it's ready. Now I question it too much. I'm sorry. :) And I think you would make me happy with each chapter if I could read the next immediately after it. :) My favourite scene was when Sirius tricked Lily. And my favourite sentence was the last, even though (and maybe just because) it made me feel sick. You're so talented. Even though you say that you listen to us readers so much that it affects your writing, I think you're driven by your need to tell stories and you have something to say and you're not going to give up until you've said it clearly enough for us to understand. I'm impressed how full of soul your words are. I love that. Good work dear. :)

Author's Response: Thanks, Rebekka. I appreciate such a thoughtful review. I did struggle with this one and I don't honestly think I could've added anything else to it without losing my mind. I'm working hard on the future chapters to be careful of those types of details you mention. It means a little longer between updates but hopefully it will pay off for everyone in the end. Again, thank you!

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Review #19, by Lucid 

22nd August 2005:
Oh that arrogance is wonderful, they are like little bags of testosterone, walking around, and the egos...huge :D I like the scene at the station and in the carriages, James looking like a Lion was wonderful Symbolism, I really loved that. The sorting hat scene was wonderful, I loved every second of it, especially Sirius' impatience, which is so Sirius. Moony is conspicuous in his absence, but I like that you haven't tried to introduce everyone straight away, because it feels rushed, but the very fact you leave someone out is brilliant and much more realistic. The ending here was very dark, and I had to blink when I read the last line, its horrific, utterly horrific, and made me feel a little sick. Poor Sirius. His father seems the right kind of nasty but still a parent in the end. And Lucius, he was deviously evil in that, I could have bitten him for what he did to Sirius. But all this just just tells you how powerful your writing was because it invoked such emotions in me (a reader) to everything. I liked this part and didn't at the same time, purely because of the emotions involved, I could really feel them.

Author's Response: I'm glad you mentioned that last line...I re-wrote that several times and at one point including an additional 556 words describing the ending of the fight. I let it sit for awhile and decided none of it sat just the way I wanted...it made the characters seem more devilish and more conniving that I ever intended. So I deleted it all and left it at that one line which, to me, symbolized not only how vile his father could be reminded everyone that Sirius was still a child with a child's reactions to events that he couldn't hide...no matter how hard he may try.

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Review #20, by 62442almystery 

22nd August 2005:
You portrayed the train ride and sorting perfectly, and even what happened afterwards, but James would have been sorted way after Sirius because would be one of the first ones to be sorted because Sirius's last name starts with a 'b' and James with a 'P'.

Author's Response: I know, I know..I like to forget all canon that doesn't fit in with my version...very bad habit I have, I know. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #21, by goodbyetrain 

22nd August 2005:
Oh wow. That was really intense. This was an interesting chapter, though I don't know what to make of it. It was really fast moving, were you going for that? 'Rollercoaster' is a nice way to describe it actually. I like the way you introduced the other characters, mainly Lily and Peter, good job on that. Wonderful job, looking forward to your next update.

Author's Response: Thanks...I was really careful about introducing them. I didn't want it to seem cliche or "monumental"... more like they were just some other kids and not people who would end up playing such vital roles in Sirius' life. Thanks so much!

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Review #22, by nomikkin 

22nd August 2005:
wow, so Lucius is a prick ... an evil one at that. hmm, i wonder if Sirius will continue on with Hogwarts ... wait he has to, right? well, i'm sure you'll answer it all in good time. great job my dear, i was holding my breath again as i read the violent scene, wonderfully done. not too gory, but just enough to get me on the edge of my seat. much love! ;) ~nomikkin

Author's Response: Isn't he though? And yes, he will head back to Hogwarts one way or another. ;)

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Review #23, by Violet Gryfindor 

21st August 2005:
:-o Oh my gosh, timeturner, what have you done?!? As usual, it's wonderfully written, showing amazing complexity with the plot and the characters, but all the twists and turns are tying me in knots! *takes deep breath* Must calm down...

Anyways, I adore your characterization of all the new characters you've introduced us to in this chapter. Lily rather reminds me a little of Hermione, helping the weak (in this case Peter instead of Neville) and being a little bit of a know-it-all. But I liked how you portrayed her - it's very likeable and realistic. Peter is portrayed better than most (ie: he actually has some personality) and I hope that he comes up more in coming chapters. Lucius is just as silky, two-faced, and hate-able as one could imagine. You've suprised me by not including Remus yet, but maybe this makes their friendship (the Marauders') more realistic, not happening all at once as some people write it. The greatest character development in this chapter, however, is of Sirius, who seems to discover a new side to himself - that of a Gryffindor. I really am curious to see how he'll come out of his present situation and end up back at Hogwarts.

Altogether, this was a very good chapter - not quite the same as your last chapter, which was amazing - but this was very powerful and certainly shocking. I'd love to see where you go next with this. All the ideas are very original and creative, making this story a very very interesting one to read. ;-)

Author's Response: Wow. I honestly don't think I can come up with an appropriate response to this. You've given such a wonderful, great, insightful review. I did choose not to have the marauders meet all at once on purpose...I don't think it happens that way in real life and I think the times and manners in which they met played a role in their later relationships. Thanks, violet, for always helping me when I need it most.

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Review #24, by angelinaballerina 

21st August 2005:
poor sirus, i feel so sorry for him!

Author's Response: lol...so do I :)

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Review #25, by ConradK 

21st August 2005:
They were right, weren’t they? He had betrayed them before he even knew them. They, just like his family, had every right to hate him. --That was my favorite line in this chapter, which was once again wonderfully written! You really tied in the introductions of new characters in nicely, with Lily and Peter and the other Slytherins and I was impressed with the originalness your writting. The only thing is, like other people said is that it jumps really quickly from the train to Sirius already being put in Gryffindor. Regardless, this was a great chapter and I can't wait to see how you introduce us to Remus and to see if Cat and Sirius still get to stay in touch! Happy writing!

Author's Response: Can I say I just love it when I see a review from you? You always make me smile and you always read this so carefully. Thank you so much!

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