This is honestly the best James/Lily story I have ever read! Amazing character development and good incorporation of dance. Minor spelling/grammar mistakes 10/10! Report Review
ok, first off--slow down!! You have a great plotline, but rushed through it just to get this chapter out.
second--work on character development. How did Hermione make the change from bookworm to Miss Diva? Who the Heck is Jaque? Give some insight on the characters (what they look like, how they are acting, etc.)
third--Minor spelling/grammar errors and double-space story
Update Soon! Report Review
That's hilarious! I love the idea for CAFS and I can't wait for this story to continue! Minor spelling/grammar mistakes. Report Review
Hey! This is not complete crap!...I rather enjoyed it.
I love both the characters of Jonas and Sparrow and the unique twist of HPFF--no Harry Potter!!
Work on spelling/grammar (tense usage) and update soon!Author's Response: (:
Thank you for the review.
Yeah, I've noticed that. I certainly will work on my grammar. I'm kind of OCD about that stuff, so I'll certainly be looking out for it.
And I've put the third chapter up and it's waiting for validation (:
Thanks again! Report Review
Amazing!! I love your writing! Report Review
This story is great so far! I always imagined Sirius as the rebel from a very early age, but this story gives a great perspective on the values that were drilled into him by his father. Poems could use a little work, but overall spelling/grammar was nearing perfection! I can't wait to read the next chapter...! Report Review
Loved it so far, but it's a bit confusing as to why Rookwood is treating Harry as his equal and, if Voldemort is dead, why doesn't Harry and/or the ministry evacuate the muggle borns? Report Review
"Quidditch comes before love" -lol Report Review
Amazing story!! This addresses a very prevalent issue...you have probably changed many minds on the concept of perfection. Just a few minor spelling/grammar mistakes in the later chapters, Please continue!! Report Review
Amazing story!!! I totally fell in love with all the characters and I was sorry to come to the end of chapter 10. At first I thought you were rushing it a bit, but this chapter was PERFECT!! It summed up the whole story and tied it all together really nicely...
Just a few minor spelling/grammar mistakes, I can't wait to read more of your stories!!Author's Response: Thank you so much! You ROX!!!~~Emma~~ Report Review
That was fairly interesting, considering that it's less that 1000 words. Work on character development, even in a one-shot and watch minor spelling/grammar mistakes. I can't wait to read more of your work!Author's Response: oh yeah - thanks for reviewing - i was in a rush with this story i just had to get it all out Report Review
More Description and character development!! This is incredibly short!Author's Response: i know; it's not one of my better stories, i'm thinking about rewriting it, but am not sure (i can be really busy with school and my other writing). Thanks for the review! Report Review
umm. Interesting so far. It would have been nice, though, if you had provided some background info on the septuplets' birth--how astonished Lily and James were, telling their friends, etc.
The girls' names are really hard to pronounce, but I guess I'll get used to it...
It would be awesome if you had a banner or found some way to make chapter pics. Update soon! Report Review
Great story so far!--totally worst case senario! For future chapters, don't space out the lines so much and condense flashbacks together. You might want to write your chapters alternating from Hermione to Severus' point of view.
And--you might want to change the destination of the conference to Sydney, Australia or something because it sounds like the plane went down in the pacific. Why wouldn't they have just flown over the Atlantic?
Also--what happened to the other 300 or so passengers on board?Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I made it New York, because as a New Yorker, I know a lot about the city...There are SOME islands if you drift down far enough, like near Florida down there...they drifted about three days...;) I'm going to leave it at that for now, cuz I'm trying to get the next ch. up.
Maybe I'll switch the POV's around in some of the chapters...I'll have to see...
The other three hundred passengers must be floating or dead...after all, the story is about Snape and Hermione...they wouldn't know what happened, as they're by themselves, so neither do we.
Thanks for an awesome review and the great critiques/advice. Expect a chapter in the nect two weeks or so!
~ShantiSnape Report Review
Great start! For future chapters work on character development (showing not telling characteristics) and tense usage. For the record its Prof. Mcgonagall. Update soon!Author's Response: contrary to popular belief im a really good english student, but i write these and submit them usually with minimal proofreading because i dont have much time, but i love writing them! so please don't complain when it's not perfect, you still can understand it! Report Review
That was an absolutely brillant and amazing story! Spelling/grammar was nearing perfection and I'll admit it-I both cried and laughed while reading this. "Runaway" is one of the most amazing stories ever to make its way to fanfiction, so you should feel extremely proud of the hard work and effort you have put into your writing. I don't want to bug you about updating --just wanted to let you know that I will read the next chapter whenever its posted. Amazing work, keep writing!Author's Response: Oh my god, what an incredible review! I'm seriously smiling so much it hurts right now. lol. Thank you so so so so much for taking the time to write this. It's still amazing to me that people have come to like my story, but it's reviews like this that remind me of why I write. If I can make one person happy doing it, then it's worth it. :) I'm actually writing the next chapter now. I know it's been a horribly long time since I updated, but I'm going to try and get it out as fast as I can. So sorry for the wait! Thank you again for this awesome review though. I cant tell you how much I appreciate it!
~Scrib Report Review
omg, that went by really fast. If you're trying to make this story lighhearted, don't change a thing. If you're trying to make it serious, slow down and work on character development.
Overall, your plot line and writing is very good, with only a few minor spelling mistakes.
and,.the only way for Hermione to have both Dean and Ron's children would be for her to have two uteruses, which is extremely rare...and I guess they wouldn't actually be twins then. Great twist though.Author's Response: This is actually possible and there some cases of it, it is known as heteropaternal superfecundation, so no Hermione only has one uterus. Report Review
cute, short, sweet, and sad. That about sums it up! 10/10Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm really, really glad that you enjoyed it! Report Review
hmm, very depressing. Is this a one-shot? Anyways, you might want to give more of a background on the Potter family and what has been going on for the last sixteen years. Just a side note--according to JKR, there is no boundary between the wizarding world and the muggle world. Wizards do tend to live together, but they exist simultaneously with the rest of the planet. (The ministry of magic is in the heart of muggle London) Report Review
I freaking love this story! Its seriously in the top five I've ever read on here. You have just a few minor spelling mistakes that can easily be corrected, but one tiny detail you overlooked--why didn't the staircase to Rose's dormatory turn into a slide when Scorpius tried to enter on the night of James' party?
Also, just a suggestion--I'm all for Teddy breaking up with Victorie and Dom eating something poisonousAuthor's Response: Hey, yes I have thought of that detail and will deal with it in later chapters - first I thought maybe they could have thought of a spell to lift the anti-boy charm, but then I thought that was a pretty old tradition - maybe it was removed by the time Rose and co. went to Hogwarts?
I'm so glad you like the story! I'm really flattered! (",) Report Review
now I'm really depressed...great story though! Just go back and edit tense usage and spelling. Very unique and enjoyable plotline! Report Review
hmm, that was okay, but not the most interesting story I have ever read. Work on character development and watch your spelling and grammar. If you can, try to reformat your story to fit the computer screen. Right now, I have to flip back and forth between lines and it is extremely annoying. Update soon! Report Review
interesting...The adoption process seems a little lighthearted, but overall it is unique and enjoyable. Watch spelling/grammar and update soon! : ) Report Review
Ahhh! cliff hanger, well I'll just have to wait for an update (hint, hint).
Overall, this story is amazing. Great topic, great characters, just watch your spelling and grammar! : ) Report Review
OMG!!! I love this story! Characters are amazing, plot line is amazing, dialogue is amazing, everything is amazing!!!...PLEASe update soon!! Report Review
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