(This didn't show up the first time I posted it, so forgive me if it ends up on here twice).
Great story, I've had this sat in my favourites for ages, and I eventually got around to reading it, read the 1st one first (obviously) and it was so good that I just had to keep reading. Hence, I then started this one.
I've thought of how she can get him to remember her:
She can break into Dumbledore's office and steal his pensive (or just explain to him why she needs it), then put all of her memories with Alec into it and then Jenyse and Ian can go through the pensive, and maybe just maybe, when he sees everything that happened between them, he might remember. Just my theory anyway, you've probably got something else planned though.
Why did you let her kiss Travis?!?!?! Now everything's going to be awkward!!
A) The Marauders won't be very understanding if and when they find out.
B) She'll lose Travis as a friend because things will be just too awkward between them now.
C) She'll have to repair the damage and pain it caused to Ian/Alec.
D) Even if Ian's memory of Alec does come back, he'll still have the memory of what just happened, and will be angry that she betrayed him like that - even after all her assurances that they were 'just friends'.
Ooh! I was listening to some songs the other day and they seemed to fit this story really well. One of them was "Please Remember - Leann Rimes". The lyrics are:
Time, sometimes the time just slips away/And your left with yesterday/Left with the memories/I, I'll always think of you and smile/And be happy for the time/I had you with me
Though we go our separate ways/I won't forget so don't forget/the memories we've made.
Please remember, please remember/I was there for you
and you were there for me/Please remember, our time together
The time was yours and mine/And we were wild and free/Please remember, please remember me.
Goodbye, there's just no sadder word to say/And it's sad to walk away/with just the memories/Who's to know what might have been/We'll leave behind a life and time/We'll never know again.
And how we laughed and how we smiled/And how this world was yours and mine/and how no dream was out of reach
I stood by you, you stood by me/We took each day and made it shine/We wrote our names across the sky/We ran so fast, we ran so free/I had you and you had me.
Please remember, please remember.
I think that fits in quite well. Either with her struggle to forget about Alec (before Ian came to Hogwarts) or about when Alec died, it could fit there because he promised he'd remember her.
The other one I thought kind of fitted with your story was "What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts (or Cascada)". The lyrics are:
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house/That don't bother me/I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out/I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while/Even though going on with you gone still upsets me/There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok/But thatís not what gets me.
(Chorus)What hurts the most/Is being so close/And having so much to say/And watching you walk away/And never knowing/What could have been/And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do.
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go/But I'm doin' It/It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone/Still Harder/Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret/But I know if I could do it over/
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart/That I left unspoken.
I'm saying that loving you/That's what I was tryin' to do.
I think this sort of shows how she felt in the month between losing Alec and then him coming back as Ian. Especially the chorus, it hurts her to be around him, because he's not the same guy she fell in love with.
Okay, now that I've left an extremely long (and probably mostly irrelevent) review, I'm gonna go now.
Please add the next chapter soon!! Please!!
:DAuthor's Response: ((response below)) Report Review
What were Elsie and Peter whispering to each other at dinner in the last chapter?
Great story by the way!! Report Review
I LOVE it!! I like how you changed the lyrics to fit the story! The spelling was a bit off in places, but that's not that important. I love Meatloaf and Harry Potter, I have actually had a similar idea to this myself - using his songs for a story! This is brilliant, I also think of Sirius when I hear this song!!
10/10!!!Author's Response: wow, thanks ^___^ i'm a bit late in replying to this, i know, but it still means a lot Report Review
I LOVED ONE OF YOUR STORIES AND YOU'VE DELETED IT!!! "Educating Neely" is one of my all time favourites, I came to re-read it and it's nowhere to be found!! Please please please please please can you upload it again??? PLEASE! Report Review
Is someone going to open the closet door and see them hugging and think there's more to it??? It'd be good if that happened, would be funny seeing Lily trying to explain her way out of it!!
Anyways, great story - unique idea too!!
Update soon please!!Author's Response: :) thank you! i LOVE when people leave me ideas!! but ironically enough, i thought of that, and deleted it. instead i began the next chap with alice and lily. and since you offered your idea, i'll tell you how the next chao opens:
alice asks lily why she was writing notes to james all class. and why she was in a broom closest with him. lmao. Report Review
I LOVE this story!! It says a new chapter was added on the 20th September, but it hasn't appeared yet!! Why??
Please update (properly) soonAuthor's Response: I noticed some errors so I went back and fixed my typos, then re-submitted. Sorry! I'm doing one-shots for a while. Then I'll be picking up my novellas again :D Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
It's a good story, you won a Dobby Award. SO WHY ON EARTH HAVEN'T YOU UPDATED IT FOR OVER A YEAR?!?!?!?!?!? Report Review
It says that this was updated yesterday (the 18th), but no new chapters have appeared!! I got really excited when I saw an update, and then quickly disappointed when the chapter isn't there!! :(Author's Response: I know I'm sorry! That was just an edit to chapter 5! Chapter six is in the validation queue right now and should be up within a few days! Report Review
Poor Lily!! I really thought someone was going to wake up before them and see them in bed together!! Just wondering, after Lily saw James doing THAT, when she came out of the bathroom, Remus was doing a similar action with the broom handle, was this to reinforce the image she already had imprinted in her brain from earlier?
You didn't actually say that Sirius mixed the boutterbeer with the firewhisky. You only implied it as you only said he grabbed three bottles of butterbeer, he apparently didn't have any firewhiskey bottles. Just though I'd point it out for you.
Please update soon!! Report Review
I've only just found this story. I really like your idea with this so far. I think Hermione and Fred are a good couple!! (Have you ever read "A Summer Job" by Harrys_Patronum ?? That is a really good Fred/Hermione story too, and well worth a read.)
I was just wondering about the dungbombs section. Was that in the books?? If so, where? Also, what did Hermione need them for?
Keep up the good work and please update regularly!! (I've just read all of it and came back to this chapter becuase I wanted to ask about the dungbombs)Author's Response: I'm really glad you like the story! I have read A Summer Job and it's one of my faves :) first Fred/Hermione story I ever read and it got me hooked!
The dungbombs part came from Chapter 19 of GOF, page 330 in my book. When Harry is about to speak with Sirius in the fire he mentions "The common room was deserted, and, judging by the fact that it smelled quite normal, Hermione had not needed to set off any dungbombs to ensure that he and Sirius got privacy." And I thought to myself, wherever would Hermione get dungbombs??...
You'll be happy to hear that the next chapter should be up within a day or two, as it is already in the validation queue. Report Review
Wow this was a fast update!! I'd only just read the previous chapter and then this one appeared!! Although there is one problem with this; in the last chapter, Franks said that "It was Charmyís birthday recently", however, in this chapter, it's her birthday now. It's nothing major, just thought I'd point it out.
Great story!! Update again soon!!Author's Response: That's a fair point but it was one of those parties that were held after the actual birthday. Maybe I ought to make that clearer.
Thanks for the review! Report Review
Hey!! Thanks for updating!
Your use of speechmarks has greatly improved!! There's the odd one now and again, but most of them are right! :)
This looks like it's going to be a pretty good story.
However, one thing I will mention is that at Hogwarts they don't have maths, they have arithmancy. But then again, they might have maths as well and J K Rowling just never mentioned it! You never know, it's possible!!
Anyway, keep writing please!!
I'll look forward to your next update!!Author's Response: Thank you, and I'm working on the speech. So I'll change it to arithmancy. I wasn't even thinking about that. But Thanxx and I'm glad you like the story. =) Report Review
spelling was bad in places, Ginny's full name is Ginevra nor Virginia!
It was a bit weird and random Report Review
please please please please please please please please please please continue this!!!
I can't understand why no-one else has reviewed! I think this is going to be a really good story!!!
However, my only criticism would be your use of speech marks. For example; when you put:
"thanks, hermione smiled, i'm going to miss you guys so much."
It should have been: "thanks", hermione smiled, "i'm going to miss you guys so much."
once or twice is fine, as we all make mistakes, however you seemed to do this all the time!!
But other than that it looks like it's going to be great!! So please continue with it!! Report Review
I've spent the best part of today reading this. At times your spelling wasn't the best, but I still think it was a great story!!
Loved the bit earlier when Harry and Ginny were broke into on christmas eve and Ginny asked what it was and Harry said Santa!! LOL!!! Laughed ages at that!!
I was actually in tears when Ron was "killed", you wrote that scene beautifully!!
However, I do feel that you need to work their ages out better. Erin was 4 when Reynolds was born and so six years later would make her 10 (possibly nearly 11), Reynolds would be 6 and you said Madelyn was 3. Then you said 12 years later, Erin was 22, but she started Hogwarts at 11 and 11+12 =23 not 22! Also, you said madelyn would be 14, but this is impossible as she was 3 when Erin was 11, so 3+12 = 15, not 14! However, I suppose she could have been about to have her 15th birthday? Hmm, never mind, ignore me! It's late, Lol!
Anyway, overall a great story, thought it skipped a bit too much at the end though, should have said if she actually became a Gryffindor or not, and also some adventures she had at Hogwarts. I think it would have helped a lot if you included a description of what her husband looked like though.
But, on the whole, great story!! Well Done!!
100/10!!Author's Response: yeah, i wrote this mainly when i was in 8th grade, so i spelling and stuff is sketchy. haha. erin was 5 when he was born and 12 years later if erin would have had her birthday, she'd be 22, and the same for madelyn. however, i also could have messed up. haha. thanks so much. i'm really glad that you liked it, overall. :] Report Review
that was good, but i think it could make a quite good story. you know, continue this and have them meeting in secret cos they're afraid of families reactions, then have her having to tell her parents that she's in love with a malfoy.
I think it could be good if you get time to do it!Author's Response: thanks! i'm really glad that you liked it! haha. i might. Report Review
Oh come on!!! You can't just leave it there! It's been over a year since you updated this! I've spent the past few days reading this entire trilogy!! You can not just end it there!!! UPDATE IT!!! ASAP!
It's looks great so far, but please please please please please please please please please update soon!!!Author's Response: Hey Star!
Thank you for reviewing! I just want to let you know (and anyone else that may come back to read through reviews :P) that I've submitted chapter 7 for validation - so it should be up soon! I'm still shocked that a couple of people have nailed the parentage... I figured I'd be burned at the stake... another reason why I couldn't bring myself to update the story in a year. But, no more excuses from me! I'm on a NCtN roll!! :)
I appreciate your sticking with this story and hope you enjoy what's to come! XD
Jessi x x x Report Review
I how one word for this story: WOW!
It's brilliant!! Really! Well done!! The last few chapters have actually had me in tears! (and I don't cry easily at stories!!) From when alternative Harry begged Hermione not to go, I haven't been able to stop crying!! lol!
You gave it so much emotion, it is quite simply brilliant!! I'm off to read the sequel now. I thought he might remember something, due to how much he loved her!!
Fantastic! Well Done!! Report Review
WOW!!! I love this story so much!! I love the whole telepathy idea, it's brilliant!!! You have to finish this!! Please update soon!!
(p.s: 10/10)Author's Response: I'm so glad that you're enjoying it so far. I plan on updating this very soon, I'm just tweaking the next chapter.
Thanks for taking the time to review Report Review
Great story, though there seems to be a lot of gaps: eg.) he hit her one night, next morning she slept with him?? i mean come on!! it's not exactly plausible is it? Also, then after one night together he "loves" her?! and they are an item? and how does he know they can't tell the friends?? you haven't had hermione saying that!!
if you fill in the blanks it would be great. this story is really good appart from that though! well done!! please could you add the next chapter soon? Report Review
I absolutley LOVE this story, it's so much better than the usual Dramione fanfics!
keep up the good work!! Report Review
Could you continue this, you know to tell the story of their relationship after this? Because I think that would be good!!
Well done, 10/10!!Author's Response: I'm so happy you liked this one! t was my first attempt at a pairing/story outside of trio era.
I don't think I'll continue this one,I rather like it as a one shot. Sometimes plots are best left to what you have done, extending can sometimes ruin things.
Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
This is a good start to your story, and I bet that it could be really good if you continued with it! I don't understand why nobody else has reviewed this, or why you have abandoned it, because it looks as though it is going to be good. If you kept at it more people are probably going to review and like your story.
The Snape/Pearl storyline looks to be interesting, as it's a side of Snape I have never seen explored on here and think it could be a really interesting read.
I like the idea of Ginny and Malfoy, it's so much better and original than the many Draco/Hermione stories on here.
Please continue this if you get the chance as I would love to read more and see where all of this is headed.
All in all I think you have some really good and original ideas.
8/10 (only reason that it is not higher is because the chapter needs to be slightly longer and you need to continue with the story) Report Review
good story but with this chapter you really need to use spellchecker!!!Author's Response: I did... hmm i must have been in a rush that day
Happy Holidays! Report Review
um... y doesn't ron have long to live? what's wrong with him?
okay i guess, needed to be longer though.Author's Response: Ron is terminally ill. I think I made hime have cancer or leukemia perhaps. Yeah, I wrote this a long time ago, so it's pretty short. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing though! Report Review
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