Poor Al. :( His pain was so vivid here, I could really feel for him. Your portrayal of him was so wonderful. I loved the way he changed from before Lily's death to after. It seemed so realistic and powerful.
Great one-shot! Report Review
I really like it! You've got a great plot and I can't wait to see what else happens to Emma and her friends (and cousins). The concept is really interesting!
There are a few spelling and grammar mistakes, nothing too major, but just something you might want to look over. And there could be more description. I love what you've got, but there could be so much more!
Your characters are great, really vivid. I can't wait for more interaction between Rose and Scorpius and Emma and Albus. Is Emma really in love with Al? I can't wait for more! Looking for an update soon, I hope! =) Report Review
I've never read the poem, but that was a really powerful one-shot. The image you painted of Sirius in his cell was so vivid and real. I could see him pacing in my mind.
The grammar and spelling seemed fine, I didn't notice anything odd.
The syntax was lovely. Everything was written and phrased just beautifully and added so much to the piece. I still can't get over the image of him pacing.
Great one-shot! I really loved it!Author's Response: IÂ´m very glad you liked my one-shot.
The poem is originally in German. I recited it in school, and since then it became one of my favourite poems. I always had that immage in my mind, of someone in a cell. iÂ´m glad you could see it too ;).
thank you very much for reviewing. Report Review
Poor Gaby! That's so sad! Her best friend being killed right in front of her like that. I'm very interested to see what happens next.
Your descriptions were really good, although some of the paragraphs at the beginning were rather long. You may want to think about splitting them up.
I loved your characterization, the way Draco would do anything for Gaby. The only thing I can really suggest is to make Voldemort a little more... cold, I guess? At the moment he seems just a little bit childish in his anger, although still quite scary.
Great story, I can't wait for more!Author's Response: Thanks for the review :D
Yeah I totally agree with you there. Voldemort does need to be a lot colder but it's very hard to capture that when J.K has already done it.
I'll see if I can post more up for you! I'm still trying to figure what will happen next. Report Review
Hahaha! I was laughing through the whole story! This is a great portrayal of Lily and Alice! It's always how I imagined Lily, clever and mischievous. I think it's great that you made Neville's daughter one of the biggest troublemakers in the school.
And their love potion was a splendid idea! It made me laugh so hard! Great story!Author's Response: Ohmygosh, thank you! This review was so sweet, and this Lily was always how I imagined her, too, and Alice is just amazing. If she was real, she'd definitely make an awesome friend :) I loved the love potion idea, too, and I'm really glad you liked this. Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Aw, this was cute. I liked the realism of Pansy and how she mourned for Marcus while moving on. It was very sweet. =) And the taco thing made me laugh!Author's Response: AWWW Thanks! :) This was the first time i've tried to write anything funny. If you've read my other fics you might have noticed they tend to be darker so this was interesting to write. I'm glad you liked it :) Report Review
This was a great start to the story! Roxanne seems like such a strong character, I'm interested to see how she deals with the pregnancy and telling her family. I also like how you've written Molly and Lucy as twins- I don't think I've ever seen that before.
I can't help but wonder about the whole situation with Hunter. Is that something you'll be delving into more? It's peaked my curiosity!
Anyway, this story seems wonderful so far and I'm looking forward to the next chapter! =)Author's Response: Thank you for swinging by to give me a review :)
Yeah there's not many stories where Lucy and Molly are portrayed as twins. I wanted to try something new and this was what I came up with. I'm glad I gave the impression that Roxanne's will be a strong character as that's hopefully where it's leaning to.
She's not dealing that well with her news as you'll find out in the next chapter. It'll hopefully be a huge thing when her parents finds out as she's afraid to disappoint them especially her mother.
The whole situation with Hunter will be reveal as the story progresses. He plays an important part in the story, not only because he's the baby daddy. Anyway all will be reveal later :)
Aw thanks for such a nice review. It means a lot :) Report Review
I've never seen James II written as a gay character before. It seems like it could work, especially the way you've written him. He's very cocky and self assured, but in a fun way. It's great to read.
I also love his relationship with his cousin. He and Fred have great chemistry together. They're so similar it makes sense that they would fight so much!
This is a great start to a story and I'm sure it will get even better when James finds his significant other. :)Author's Response: I've never written him as a gay character until this. It's strange to try and rethink the whole image I have of him. But I think it turned out well.
Fred is so much fun to write. He's a lot like an annoying little sibling in James' veiw.
Thank you. :) Report Review
OH MY GOD! I LOVE HIS OMNI-IMPOTENCE!
There are no words for the awesomeness that is Scorp. Le Scorp, to be exact (since he takes such pride in always being exact).
Scorp is the true savior of the world. Meow meow meow meow meow (that means he is god for sharing his genius with the world- a true sacrifice).
TRUE AMAZINGNESS IN WRITING!Author's Response: HAAA, THANK YOU. ♥
Le Scorp is exact - so exact, in fact, that he is specifically exact, always. All of the time, 98 percent of the time.
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow (that means thank you for reading and for leaving an awesome review).
:D Report Review
Oh wow, this was great! Normally Sirius/Remus is done so seriously and melodramatic, but you've made a them a great couple for this light story. I almost wish there was a story for their seventh year. You've made it sound so interesting!
The subtle hints were great in this. I love that everyone knew about Sirius and Remus except for Lily and they all seemed in on the joke. It was hilarious.
Great story! I enjoyed every minute I was reading it! Report Review
I love the way you wrote this! The repetition of the syntax was so simple and yet it made the story so powerful. (Look at me using those big AP English words!) I love how you gave each Marauder a different verb. They each seemed to fit together so well, especially Remus's.
You did a fantastic job with the emotion throughout this piece, particularly in Peter's paragraph. It's rare for me to feel any kind of pity for him in a canon story, but you successfully accomplished that.
With Sirius and Remus it's everything we've seen before, but you present it so beautifully that it feels like the first time. They're such complex characters and emotions, but the simplistic way you've presented them seems oddly fitting.
This whole story was just put together so well! I loved every moment I was reading it! :)Author's Response: Oh, wow, thank you so much! I'm so happy you liked it and you're praise really means a lot to me. Report Review
Poor Hermione! I'm so glad Ginny and Arthur found her hiding place. After everything she's been through already in this story she deserves to be happy.
The alternate world you've created for them seems so dark with Harry and the others gone, but I like what I've seen of it so far. The hunters seem like something Voldemort would create to seek out people who've betrayed him.
I really love the description in this, especially at the beginning when Hermione is describing what happened at Hogwarts. It all seemed so vivid and the emotions so real.
It was a really great first chapter! I enjoyed it a lot!Author's Response: Oh! I just realized I had a review! :D
Thank you so much! I really appreciate the review! I'm really glad your liking the story so far! I'm hoping to finish the next chapter sometime this weekend!
Thanks again for the wonderful review!! :) Report Review
Poor George. He always makes me so sad without Fred. This story was written beautifully. The mutual pain he and Angelina felt over losing Fred seemed so real and down to Earth.
I loved that you wrote Hermione such an important role in this. It's always interesting to see her interact with George after Fred's death since she had so little to say to them before. The way he felt towards her on the day of the wedding was very sweet since she knew nothing about it. It seemed like one of those things he could bring up in ten or twenty years and she'd be utterly shocked she had such a major impact on him.
Everything about this one-shot was just so lovely. I enjoyed reading it immensely, even if I did tear up a bit towards the end. You wrote it wonderfully!Author's Response: Oh my goodness. This is one of the nicest reviews anyone has ever left me. I am ever so grateful!
I am so glad that you considered it to be realistic, especially the interaction between George and Hermione. I was a little unsure about whether it would be her who would talk with George or whether it ought to be Ginny, but I went with it, so I'm so happy that you liked it.
Apologies that you were tearing up towards the end. It was a little sad wasn't it? I'm very thankful for the review, it really does mean so much to get feedback on my story. Thank you for taking the time to read and review. =] Report Review
Aw! So bittersweet! It's always nice to see Draco shipped with an OC he can truly be happy with during his time at Hogwarts.
I love the odd POV you've told this story with, the mixture of Draco 1st, Gretchen 1st, and third. I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like it, but it fit the story quite well.
And the ending! It's impossible to dislike a happy ending. Anytime a story ends happily that just cements how wonderful it is in my mind. Bittersweet the story may be, but that ending is nothing but sweet. Seeing Draco happy just makes the whole story seem to light up. :)
It's a really great story and I enjoyed reading it! Awesome job on it!Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! The first major point of this story is a mental argument. At the time it was just supposed to be Draco thinking about what he did, but it soon became the OC in his mind using the opposite of oclumency (I can't spell the other off-hand).
As for the point of view, I didn't think about it like that. I just sort of wrote the thoughts from the different POV's and finished the story with everybody's POV.
As for the setting, I had to choose a time where Draco was really conflicted. I thought (my fave scene of movie/book 6) the fight in the bathroom was perfect. Then you have to get someone else-Pansy- to want Draco too and you have a bittersweet relationship with none other than Draco Malfoy.
If you have any suggestions for any other character one-shots, I would be happy to see what I could do with them! Report Review
Stories about George without Fred always seem so unbelievably sad. I don't know if there's anything worse in the world than losing your twin. I'm really glad you found a way for him to come back in this story, even if only briefly. I think George would need something like that to get him through the tough times.
And even though Fred was still in this story, I have to admit I teared up a bit. Shame on you for making me cry! ;)
The bittersweet ending fit this piece perfectly, the new chapter of his life without his twin and all that. A beautifully written story, I really enjoyed it. Report Review
This is a really interesting take on Sirius's Uncle Alphard. I don't know if I've ever seen a story solely about him before.
The ending was so sad! Calista dying with her mother was just one of the most depressing things I've read in a while. A part of me was hoping that Amelia would get away, but it almost seemed to work better that she stayed and died with her youngest child. And the two sons were murdered earlier, I suppose?
I loved the way you worked the lyrics to the song into the last few lines. It flowed really well. Oftentimes when lyrics are changed into dialogue it can sound forced, but it just sounds beautiful here.
It was so sad, but a great story nonetheless. I thoroughly enjoyed it!Author's Response: Thank you for such a great review!
At first I was going to have Amelia get away, but than I wanted her to have a sort of Lily-esque redeeming factor for her in the end.
I actually have no idea how I made up this depressing and story. I'm glad that you enjoyed it though!! Report Review
I really liked that! It was a great combination of funny and sweet and it's difficult to say anything bad about a story that ends on such a lovely note. :) I can only imagine the fight they had immediately after this, haha.
Lily's insult were awesome! I don't know how you came up with all of them, but they were incredibly original and hilarious. So many strange combinations... :)
The whole thing with Lily's nickname was funny, although you have to wonder why Sirius thought it would be a good idea to say that out loud to a pregnant woman. He can be a bit clueless sometimes, it seems.
And yes, they were so immature, but James and Lily are at their best when they're bickering like teenagers. Which they are. It creates all the best moments for them. This really was a great little one-shot! You did a remarkable job for your first James/Lily story ever. I hope you keep writing more of them! 10/10Author's Response: Awh, thanks doll! This review made me smile (:
I love writing humorour love stories Lol. Knowing James and Lily it was probably a rather large fight...hmmm...haha!
Lily's insults were my favorite part to write out of the story! I loved them, they were a little crazy, but I thought they were amusing too.
Sirius was being the epiphany of clueless in this! Haha Saying that to a PREGNANT LILY was not a wise idea...Lol :)
I agree with you, that's my favorite way to see them written, as bickering teens.
I'm glad you enjoyed it, I enjoyed writing it! :D Report Review
Wow! This was great! I think you were spot on with Snape's feelings. The combination of regret, relief, and who knows what else just seems perfect in this story. You manage to make him come alive in such a short time and fill us with a sense of his emotions over several decades, which is a powerful feeling. He's one of the most complex characters in the books and I think this one-shot sums up his emotions wonderfully.
I love the addition of Lily even though the story is more about Snape's masters. The few lines in which she's mentioned gives him a greater purpose than simply a servant of both Dumbledore and Voldemort.
And the things Dumbledore always told him were amazing. It almost twisted Dumbledore into the villain's role for a bit which is always quite interesting.
I think you did a wonderfully on this story! It was marvelous to read!Author's Response: I think that out of all the reviews I've ever gotten, this is my favorite. This story was my baby and I was begining to think it was one only a mother could love. So, thank you so much!
Also, about Lily, I had to include her. I felt that she was the key to nearly everything about Severus' life. He became a death eater because of her rejection and joined Dumbledore to protect her. She is a lasting presence in his life.
I would also like to point out that I am very impressed. Not a lot of people would look past the surface of the story. They say 'aww, that's so sad' or 'awesome' and don't bother to consider the depth of the characters and their background. So, thank you for that as well. Report Review
Poor Fleur! I could really feel her pain throughout this piece. Giving up her son just seemed so hard for her and you portrayed it perfectly.
Teenage pregnancy is such a difficul issue to write about well, but I thought you handled it beautifully as well as realistically. The pain and sadness were there, but that the same time it was very bittersweet.
The ending was very sweet and gave it a nice fairy tale ending for the real world- if that makes any sense at all. All in all it was a wonderful story. You did a marvelous job.Author's Response: Awh, thanks for the lovely review! Sorry for such a late response :p
I'm so glad you were able to connect to her, I wanted to make readers feel for her.
Thank you! Teen pregnancy is difficult to do without it being cliche, but I hadn't seen a story written like this before (:
I'm so glad you liked it! :) Report Review
Aw! This is so cute! So many stories portray Ron and Hermione has having an unhappy marriage, I'm glad you're giving them a happy one, no matter how fleeting it may be.
His relationship with Rose is the most adorable thing ever. I like how he and Hermione bow to her every whim just because she's such a sweet little kid. It seems so perfect. I almost want the story to end right here before anything goes wrong. The sweetness of the beginning is almost too much when you know it's not a happy story. It's really really good! You've done a wonderful job with the story thus far!Author's Response: Yay! I'm so happy with your response!:D Makes my sucky week a whole lot better! Yes...yes, it will be fleeting:'( But as you will know if you've read any of my other stuff, this is my only fix were they're even together so, so I'm trying to make it as sugary sweet as possible because i feel guilty!
Isn't it? It makes me want to die of fluff! Rosie is a sweet thing; I love writing her.It is perfect, the family lovey dove part that is! Oh no...I don't want to end the story yet! I know; it's going to be so terribly, gut wrenchingly, tear worthy tragedy when he dies:'( I'm going to cry a lot. And I'm not a big Ron fan so if i'm crying over it already, it's going to be BAD.
Thank you so much for such an amazingly wonderful review!
It may have been a bit chessy, but in the best possible way. The whole exchange between Lavender and McGonagall seemed very real, from the way they were entirely different at the beginning to the realization that they were in fact similar. Lavender seemed especially well characterized in that a bit of her shallow, air headed self remained, but she was much more serious. It felt very real and very right.
You did a wonderful job with the first chapter and I personally think you made a great call in starting with two minor characters instead of the trio. It fits the story very well and seems perfect. Lovely story!Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review, I really appreciate it! I'm glad you thought the charactersation was good!
I was actually originally going to use the trio to start us off, but it needed to be at King's Cross because of all of the symbolism and circles and sevens and new beginnings and all my little nerdy obsessions, and these two somehow ended up there. I just needed to start off this story in a way that echoed the beginning of the series, and it meant that McGonnagall had to be there in cat form!
Thanks for the review!
-Livi x Report Review
This story is really great! I love Molly's personality and the way she's an outcast in her own family. You've done a fantastic job at making her feelings seem real. Moth is a funny guy and I can't wait to see their relationship develop! I'm also very interested in what kind of things they'll be learning in this new school.
The only note I have is that sometimes you spend so much time in Molly's thoughts that it can occasionally be difficult to follow the action, but that doesn't happen too much. I really love this story and I'm looking forward to more!Author's Response: Hello! :)
Thank you very much - I'm glad that Molly's personality is coming across and not just her awkward situations! Oh that relationship will develop - I'm having as much fun writing it as I hope you will reading it! xD
Hm, I completely see where you're coming from. That's been bothering me recently, especially with this chapter. Hopefully that'll improve by the next! :)
Thanks so much for reading and leaving a lovely review! Keira :) Report Review
Wow. This story was absolutely amazing. This is one of the best protrayal I've ever seen of Draco. His situation after the war seems so realistic, down to Harry's entrance in the end. Draco's dilemma was fascinating throughout the whole story, whether or not to blame himself and I was amazed at how well you showed those emotions. This was an utterly fantastic story and I enjoyed every minute of it!Author's Response: Wow, thank you! Post-war!Draco is one of my fanfic obsessions, for both reading and writing - I just think there are so many different ways he life could have turned out after the war. I'm really glad you enjoyed it, and thanks so much for the review! :) Report Review
Aw! That was such a bitter sweet ending. I felt so bad for Hannah and Frank and all the characters throughout the piece. It was so sad when Frank started to cry at his grandfather's casket. You did a wonderful job with the emotions in this story. They seemed so vivid and real. Fantastic story! :)Author's Response: Oh thank you! I know, it was quite sad, wasn't it? I'm glad you liked it though :)
I'm glad you liked how I captured the emotions, too & thank you for the compliments :D
Thanks for reading and reviewing! Unexpected reviews are always so nice!
-Amanda Report Review
I love this story! I can't wait to see what Amelia does next and how she manages to keep Jazzy from her friends. Jazzy is the most adorable thing ever! She's so so cute, I love her! Great story, can't wait for more! :)Author's Response: Yay! I love writing the story so thanks for reading and reviewing. Well, somebody will be finding out the big secret very soon.
Next chapter is in the queue so if its accepted it should be up in the next few days.
-m :) Report Review
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