Reading Reviews From Member: luvinpadfoot
  
622 Reviews Found

Review #26, by luvinpadfootBlack Ties: To The Castle!

19th April 2014:
Back, finally! I really love these last two chapters! There were a few typos here and there and you should always split the paragraph when another person speaks, but other than that I didn't notice anything.

I'm so glad Tabby gets to go to Hogwarts too! Lue seems like a cool guy, even if he's not Hagrid. I guess Hagrid deserved some time off with his kid. Are Rose and the others going to be in this or are you not sticking with the canon next gen? I love it when people mess with the system. Makes the stories more interesting because you never know what to expect.

One thing I noticed is that your characters seem to swear an awful lot for eleven year olds. Perhaps this is just me, but I've never known any kids that young with such foul mouths. You might want to try saving that language for when they get a little older, but that's just a suggestion.

I love the inner narration with the Hat! Why does he think her mind is strangely familiar? Did she have a family member who was magical? Perhaps the strangely absent mother? I'm really excited to find out! I'm also really glad they all got Sorted into the same House.

Can't wait to continue on reading! These chapters were just as awesome as the first! :)

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Review #27, by luvinpadfootDevil's Trickery: Devil's Trickery

18th April 2014:
Hi! Here with that promised review. (:

I've never thought about anything like this in the HP world before which is odd because it kind of makes sense that there'd be other magical creatures. Jinn, demons, what have you. And I think you definitely did the crossroads demon justice.

Anamaria, or whatever her name really is, is ice cold. Just wow. No heart there, though I guess I shouldn't be surprised since she is a demon. I like how almost sassy she is when speaking with James, but during the deal itself and ten years later. I want to call her psychopathic, but can demons even be psychopaths or are they all just like that by nature? Either way, you portrayed her character really well.

What a twist ending. I hadn't even though about James's words until then. Sending his kids to Hell because he made a stupid mistake is just mean. I think I'll be blaming you for all the emotions that gave me. That question at the end from the little girl asking if she was going to Heaven broke my heart in two. Take the father if you have to, but the little girl too?

One thing that I think could improve this would be delving into James's character a little more. I think there's a lot more to him than we can see in this. For example, why was he in Azkaban in the first place? If a little more of who he is could make it into the story, that might make it all the more painful when his life (everything he has) is ripped away at the end.

It was truly a great one-shot though and I'm glad you did well in the challenge! You definitely earned it. Enjoyed every word! (:

Author's Response: Hi!

Heh, to be honest neither did I until I saw the challenge and started to think about all the creatures that might exist but never got mentioned in the books. And thank you -- I don't watch Supernatural, so I was quite concerned about that, so it's great to hear that you felt I did the crossroads demon justice!

I feel like Anamaria manages to survive in Azkaban because she's one of the demons who don't have a soul. She's pathological and manipulative, and it was really fun to write her because she's so unlike any character I've ever tackled before.

If it helps, I felt absolutely awful writing that scene. I deliberated over it for a good few hours, but in the end it felt like the right option. She's a soulless being who leeches off humans, and to have her suddenly feel sorry for a child would have felt unrealistic to me.

That is part of the reason why I withheld information on James' circumstances, too -- to Anamaria, that's irrelevant. That's nothing to do with her little plot to steal everything that James has. I am planning to write a one-shot from James' POV as a companion piece to this one, flipping the POVs so we can see what he was thinking when he made his choice.

Thank you so much for such a lovely review! :)


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Review #28, by luvinpadfootInside: Inside

18th April 2014:
Hi! Here with that promised review. :)

How delightfully obscure! I must admit, I don't think I've ever given more than two thoughts to Broderick Bode. It took me a few minutes to place him at all. Did you pick him or was he assigned? Either way, it made for a really interesting story!

The thing that was in my mind the whole time was how unpleasant he was. I understand that his current situation is not the greatest, but it seemed more than that- like he was just generally an unpleasant person. That really worked for me. His almost arrogance and general distaste for everyone around him felt very realistic for someone working in the Department of Mysteries. His talking (thinking?) down to the hospital staff seemed so true to his character, even though we never really see it in canon. That right there is an impressive accomplishment.

Now, I can't really remember, but how exactly was he unable to communicate? I can't remember what the books said and I was a bit unclear if it was his volume or he was babbling or what. I think that for a character this minor you might want to be a bit more specific if you can be.A fair number of people might not remember exactly what happened from the books.

The ending was really strong! I'm really glad you didn't have him overly suspicious of the plant. That could be a little overplayed, him screaming in his head for them to take it away. A little suspicion was nice, but it worked better coming across as more of a distaste of the gift rather than immediately recognizing it as a murderous thing.

I really enjoyed reading this! It's a lovely look into his head and it all flowed together really well. I may have flailed a bit over the story ending mid sentence, but I supposed we all know how it ends. Wonderful story and glad I had the chance to read it! :)

Author's Response: Hi!

Not everyone's a hero. Not everyone comes close. Bode isn't evil, but he wouldn't be a nice person to spend time with! And at this point he's really frustrated because he's used to being in control. I'm so glad you like the characterisation.

In my version, he had no control over his body - there were other impulses controlling that, probably causing him to babble as well as the teapot thing. But he wasn't able to control that. When he did manage to say anything, it was struggling through an unresponsive body so especially at first only a few words would have come through, then he'd have managed more but they'd have been slurred and mumbled and yes, a volume issue. I'm not sure that really is in the books, and I was taking the book interpretation loosely on this occasion - but good point, thanks.

Thank you so much! I think he didn't recognise it or panic over it because he was too absorbed in his own problems, too busy being grumpy for the hell of it. We do all know how it ends, and at that point his POV kind of became no longer available! :P


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Review #29, by luvinpadfootFeel Again: Feel Again

18th April 2014:
Hi! Here with that review. :)

For starters, I think you kept the story in the moment very well. It's a hard thing to do without confusing the reader or having chunky explanation paragraphs, but you straddled the line really well! I was never lost to the point that it was difficult to keep up, but you showed without telling. It all seemed like a realistic thought process for James.

The only thing that did seem out of place was the line that everyone was against him. Perhaps I missed something, but I didn't notice a reason for that? I understand Slytherin, of course, but not the other two. A brief explanation, even a line, might help clarify that a bit and give it a purpose in the story other than a plot point.

Two parts really stuck out to me. One was the beginning, just wow. Those first four lines were brilliant and instantly drew me in. "There. Right there." Utter brilliance, really. I love that line. It was such a perfect way to start the story.

The other was James's rambling line. "Something cracked and there was pain, unbearable pain, and there were cries and there was falling and fading and toes, and toes, and wiggle your toes, and I cannot." There was just something about it that flowed so well and fit with the story. I think I read that line about three times before continuing on. I can't exactly say why, but something about it is so moving.

I'll admit, the ending made me tear up a bit. It's so sweet and a little bit sappy, but only good sappy. It's such a hopeful end and I just adore it!

This whole story was lovely and wonderful! There was nothing at all awful about it. You definitely earned those extra points. :)

Author's Response: Hi, hi, hi! Thank you so much for the review! It's so nice to have some feedback on it! I'm always so panicky when posting new fics, and this one in particular was nerve-wracking because of how quickly it had to be written! hehehe This is exactly the type of review I needed - you're fabulous; thank you so much! *hugs*

Phew! Well that's great to hear! I'm pretty inexperienced with this sort of writing, so I'm relieved to hear I handled it alright! I tend to avoid all mystery, too, because of exactly what you said: finding that balance between giving the readers enough so they can follow along, without giving so much away that they know what's happening before you want them to. I was mostly afraid people would get lost, so I'm glad you could follow along! Yay! ^.^

Ah, I see what you mean! I know what I -tried- to do, but it must not have worked how I planned. :-p This paragraph here: "Today was meant to be so simple; just defeat Slytherin and take a heavy lead in both the Quidditch and House Cups. I'd been so certain that we would, too. It had been easy to ignore the fact that all the other Houses were rooting desperately against us, against me, because all that had mattered was guiding my team to victory and taking that comfortable lead." was meant to sort of allude to the fact that the other Houses were against Gryffindor because if they won the game, they would take a hefty lead against the other Houses - so it wasn't so much that they were against James as a person, but his team (though he was the Captain, but I should have written that... I did originally, but it was an awful sentence, so I deleted it, LOL). I can definitely make that clearer in an edit, though! Thank you for pointing it out; I'll work with it as soon as I get the chance! (I can't believe this is the only critique! *dies*)

*squee* Yay! Beginning are so important to me, and I'm just thrilled you like what I did with the opening here!

*double squee* That was actually part of the story I struggled the most with, so this is so wonderful to hear! I knew what needed to be said, but was having trouble saying it, and then finally this line came out! I'm so happy it was worth the extra time I took to sort it out! :-D

Aww, it did? *hugs* That's so wonderful to hear. Other than the section I mentioned above, the ending was the other part I struggled with. I'm really pleased and touched that it moved you, as it was about 2am when I was pulling that part together and was really unsure if it was going to land the way I intended for it to!

YOU are just lovely and wonderful! Gah! Thank you so, so much for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful review; I endlessly appreciate it! *hugs*


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Review #30, by luvinpadfootThe Lost Wolf: Street Spirit

18th April 2014:
Yay! It is her memory! I thought at first the attack she remembered might be Sirius/Peter blowing up the street, but then I realized that was not quite April. So I supposed this was before? I keep trying to figure out if it's a canon event, even though it probably isn't. I make myself crazy sometimes. ;)

Anyway, each little memory so sweet and well written! They honestly do seem like realistic scenes, the question about the sweater in the heat and the stars in the Great Hall. I really love what she's remembering, though I am quite curious if there's going to be anything about her mother?

As for this chapter, I love love love the narration from Sirius. It's hard to do a really good Sirius, I think, and you've caught his personality wonderfully. I like that there's a reason he's looking for Cassandra, not just random hope that she might still be alive. It gives him such better purpose in the story.

To be nitpicky, Sirius seems to travel quite quickly considering he's in dog form and walking everywhere. But that's just me not having any good critiques to offer you. (:

Your descriptions are lovely. Just the smells and sights and how Sirius sees everything. It's all about perspective and you capture his so well.

A few typos in this chapter, but nothing major. Nothing that really stuck out, so that's yay. (I'm not so good with the CC, sorry.)

I do wonder, if Cassandra was attacked by a werewolf, why she never turned? Is it because her father was a werewolf? Also, why did she never get a letter to Hogwarts? Hasn't she still got magic in her even if she's living in the muggle world? Or did the Death Eaters curse it out of her when she was kidnapped? I'm kind of wondering now if she was kidnapped or if she just wandered away and got lost... I suppose these questions will be answered shortly, but I haven't got time to keep reading right now!

It's such a lovely story, I'll definitely be coming back to it later/in the next few days.

And on a rather amusing note, I got the scary profanity message about Cassandra's name. :p

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you again for your reviews!

Your questions made me realize that I didn't specify an important detail in the Author Notes: this story isn't set during the same period as the original Harry Potter, but a couple of years before. The time during which Cassandra and Sirius act is 1990, I think three or four years before the actual period during which the story was set. Harry was born in 1977 and not in 1980, and the Godric's Hollow attack happened in 1978. Lily and the Marauders, however, were born on canon dates... I know it's a bit confusing, but this way Sirius and the other protagonists of the first war are younger than canon, and well... Personally I prefer this way, considering the next developments of the story :)

Regarding the time taken by Sirius to reach Surrey... You are not the first one to point out the fact he seems to be a bit too fast... Actually, being this Sirius POV, I wanted to make the timeline a bit of a blur. He has just escaped Azkaban after twelve years, having lost completely the concept of day and night... He has only one thing in mind, and that sort of isolates him from the real passing of time. It may seem that it took only a day for him to reach Magnolia Crescent, but in reality he ran for almost a week.

I'm so glad you liked the descriptions and the memories... I tend to be very "visual" in my writing style, because before starting a story I sort of play my mental film of the plot... In this way, the fan fiction per se is just a written description of a series of images, sounds and smells. Sometimes writing is not enough, so I have to draw everything!

Thank you again for your feedback!


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Review #31, by luvinpadfootThe Lost Wolf: A Wolf at the Door

18th April 2014:
I saw Sirius/OC and was shocked when she put Lupin! So I'm guessing she's Remus's daughter then? Who's the mother? I'm really curious how AU this story is. Is Remus even alive? With Tonks? With her mother? *flails* So many questions!

The colonel is a real jerk. As awful as it is that he threw her out, some part of me is thinking good riddance. To be helpful and offer CC though, he almost seems a little cartoonishly evil. Though I guess anyone throwing out their adopted daughter because she has a prosthetic leg (or whatever it is) is going to seem cartoonishly evil.

The memories/dreams were really awesome! I can't wait until she finds out more about her past and Remus. I do wonder what scene she's remembering. Is Aunt Mary the Mary MacDonald that was mentioned by Lily? I really wonder how she'll take meeting her father (if he's alive) and Sirius and the others.

The spacing is a little off, but that should be an easy fix. I think I only noticed one spelling typo so yay! No idea what the British army is really like, but I'm pretty surprised they'd let a minor in because, you know, minor. And all that. I dunno, sort of nitpicky.

Mostly I'm just sitting her flailing about how difficult it is to be helpful when all I want to do is read the next chapter. :)

Oh god, I can't wait until Sirius shows up. This is AU so I'm crossing my fingers really hard that he lives. No dying in the veil, I hope?

Author's Response: Thank you SO much for your review!! I'm so happy you liked the first chapter!

The Colonel is REALLY awful. Oh, he is. He'll return after some chapters, and you'll find him even more horrible!

Yeah, the "Aunt Mary" in the dream is actually Mary McDonald. Actually, you'll find lots of "Aunts" and "Uncles" in the story, because... Well, you'll see! :P

Oh, the spacing. I know, that is horrible. I sort of fixed it in the next chapters, but in the last chapters it has returned wonky! Urgh! I'll edit everything as soon as possible.

Regarding the Army... Well, everything will be sort of explained in the next chapters. I know that technically she is too young to be a full trained soldier, but... Remember that the Colonel is... A Colonel. And a bad one too :)

Anyway, thank you again for your comment, and stay tuned :)


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Review #32, by luvinpadfootBlack Ties: Welcome Intrusions

18th April 2014:
Eep! I just found this and it's completed and already so good! Yay! Just wow it's fantastic! I can't believe you haven't got loads of reviews on this. Just wow.

I think my favorite part was the line about the HP world being too flawless. JKR's a squib. New head canon. Yep. Totally true.

I feel so bad for Harriet and Tabby! Poor things. I'm so glad they're getting the chance to escape and get out of the house. It really is like a dream come true. (And if this has a sad ending, I can tell you right now I'm going to bawl my eyes out.)

I like Daniel's character. A lot of people don't write Charlie with kids since it's not technically canon, but I've always kind of felt bad that he's all alone. Daniel seems really nice too, which I think Harriet needs.

I'd really really love to read the rest of it now, but sadly I haven't got the time today so I'll be coming back and leaving more reviews! Yay! :) I love this story so far!!!

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Review #33, by luvinpadfootThe Flying W: Suspicion

16th April 2014:
Ooh I love the intrigue! I can't wait to see what happens! What did they do with Delaney? Who tried to kill him? I'm really curious as to what happened! I can't wait for more, this is a really great story!

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Review #34, by luvinpadfootA Little of This: Valentine's with Doren

15th April 2014:
I really like this so far! All of the characters are really interesting and I like the little joke about their relationship coming of age. It seems really well thought out and I'm sure you've got great plans for it!

However, I'm a little confused as to who the narrator is. I don't think she's introduced at all, though she's got a great personality. Just something you might want to check our. I love how she fusses over everyone, though.

And what's with Doren? Don't tell me there's something wrong with the little hamster! Aw.

Well it was a really great start and I thoroughly enjoyed every word of it! Lovely story. (:

Author's Response: Thank you for the review.
Actually I just wanted to have a go at this. I already had second thought before posting this. It is good to know you enjoyed it.
The narrator will be revealed in the next chapter though. I am working on bringing it together.
And Doren will be fine... I assure you :)


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Review #35, by luvinpadfootLove Story: Love Story

15th April 2014:
Aw this was so sweet! Your summary was just perfect for this story. It was gooey and cliched, but also precious and perfect in every way. I just loved it! Wonderful little one shot!

Author's Response: Thank you it means a lot every time I get a positive review. It really makes my day thank you!

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Review #36, by luvinpadfootHarry Potter and the Trip Across the Ocean: Mysteries and Mail

15th April 2014:
I really like this beginning! I'm eager to know what the birthday gift from Luna and Neville is, and what she wouldn't say in the letter. Why was Malfoy at Hogwarts over the summer? That seemed more than a bit strange. It looks like a really good start to what's going to be an interesting story!

A few critiques. You shift between past and present tense a fair bit, but that's a pretty easy fix. You could also try rewriting your summary to get a few more views. It might help to get the tone and plot of your story across, rather than leaving it so vague.

That being said, your characterization of Harry is really good! He seems really canon in this, hiding all his things under the floorboards and staying up all night to watch the Map. It was a great scene to really introduce him and the story.

Also your description! Wow! It flowed really naturally and had just the right amount of imagery without being overly flowery. Really great stuff, description is a hard thing to do well.

Fantastic beginning! I'm sure the next chapters will be just as great! Really enjoyed every word. :)

Author's Response: luvinpadfoot,

Thanks for the review! It means so much to me! I am glad you are enjoying the story! So first off, I have absolutely no idea what I am making Luna and Neville give Harry, but it should be great! Second, the news that she wouldn't say in the letter is pretty exciting! I won't keep you waiting too long. My next chapter should be up in the next few days. :) Thirdly, Malfoy was at Hogwarts talking to Dumbledore for a very important reason, but you must know I will not bring that in until around Chapter 5 or 6, just so you know! Um I think Fourthly? Haha. Anyway, I am trying to work on the present/past tense problem; I sometimes feel like saying it in the past tense is weird, but it's the grammar law! I will try and be more careful and maybe reword it to still sense perfectly. Next, do you have any suggestions for the summary? Write one and send it to me if you want! I am not good with that part because I don't have everything totally planned out yet, but I know that the main plot involves Harry and his friends having to travel across the Atlantic Ocean to America and find someone or something, maybe both. Or something that is also a someone. Next on my list, thanks you for your compliment on my characterization of Harry. I did my best remembering everything. Lastly (I think), Which description are you referring to? Is it one of Harry or his friends? Thanks for that though! Thanks so much for this review! I hope the next chapters will be as enjoyable for you as the first was! I am open to any suggestions! Like I said chapter 2 should be up in a few days! And chapter 3 sometime this week if I have time! We'll see!

Thanks again!
~TMFAS


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Review #37, by luvinpadfootThe Three Couples: After The War: People Start to Notice

15th April 2014:
Aw this is really sweet! I like seeing all the couples coming together after the war. Finally they can have a chance to be happy together and rebuild their lives.

I always kind of shipped Neville/Luna even if it isn't canon. I just love the two of them together. I especially love the way you characterized them. Neville seems really canon in this, his shyness about Luna.

I wonder who's selling the pictures to the prophet? Is it Skeeter? Poor guys, they've all been through so much and just want to be left alone.

There are a few typos and tense errors, but nothing too much and that was about the only thing I noticed to critique. :)

What you've got so far is great and I really enjoyed it! It's such a lovely idea and you're working with it so well. (:

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing the story!! Believe it or not, this is the very first review I've received. I'll try to recheck mt spelling, its really not a strong point of mine!

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Review #38, by luvinpadfootSilent Footsteps : Prologue

14th April 2014:
Wow this was awesome! I'm really excited to see everything that led up to this moment. Charlotte seems like such a vivid character already and I tend to be a sucker for story's where James has a sister. ;)

Your descriptions were so lovely! Just wow. I could picture everything so clearly in my head. Especially even just the first paragraph. It was such a strong start to the story!

The only critique I have is that sometimes you switch tense from present to past so that might want to be something to watch out for.

Other than that it was fantastic and I absolutely loved it! Haven't got time to read the other two chapters now, but I'll get to them later. :)

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Review #39, by luvinpadfootPoly My Juice : III.

3rd April 2014:
Really cute story! Seems like a great beginning. Can't wait to see where you go with the polyjuice potion and Albus! You've got two great characters here. :)

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Review #40, by luvinpadfootTo Take Umbridge: 1- Reconnaissance

3rd April 2014:
Ooh I'm really enjoying the beginning of this! All the intrigue. And it's just like Harry to mouth off and get himself hit a few times. Silly boy. I can't wait to see where you're going with this story! I love it so far and am looking forward to the rest of it! :)

Author's Response: Thank you!!
Haha, yeh, I think people can forget that Harry can be quite mouthy sometimes.
:)


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Review #41, by luvinpadfootHypocrites: The biggest hypocrte of them all.

3rd April 2014:
This was a really creative idea! I like how the Weasley/Potters have always been so open minded toward other species, but they shut out Rose for being a vampire. I don't think I've ever seen a story like this one before. It's so original and I love that in a fanfic! :D

There were a couple of grammar mistakes throughout, but nothing major and that's my only real critique. You say it's not very good, but I beg to differ! You're a wonderful writer and I enjoyed every minute I was reading it.

Rose seemed very real. I really loved that you had her change so much after being bitten, that even her own family was surprised by the piercings and other modifications. It felt realistic for someone who'd gone through what she went through.

It was fantastic how she told them all about what she went through at the end. That was my favorite part of the whole story. People don't often realize what others go through when they're discriminated against. I loved that they were all shocked and horrified by the marking process Rose had to undergo every two weeks at the Ministry.

Just a lovely story with such a sweet and optimistic ending! (:

Author's Response: Thank you for your review! It's my first one for the story! And I'm so glad you liked it!

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Review #42, by luvinpadfootSpecial Occasion: 1

3rd April 2014:
Aw that was really cute and sweet! I'm not usually a Hermione/Sirius fan, but every now and again it's nice to read a story. I love your dialogue and the sequence of events leading up to the proposal. It all worked together so well! Lovely one-shot, I thoroughly enjoyed it. :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I tried to make it humorous, but it's not my strongest point. I am glad that you liked it considering you're not usually a Hermione/Sirius fan.

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Review #43, by luvinpadfootBrain Activity: Preparations

3rd September 2013:
I don't even know how to review this story, really. Half the time I'm not sure if I'm seriously invested and concerned about the characters or laughing at all the zombie jokes. Before this I wouldn't have believed someone could write canon zombie Harry Potter fanfiction. So thank you.

It's just brilliant. I don't think you could even understand how happy this story makes me, and I'm not even really much of a zombie reader.

I'll definitely be coming back for me! :)

Author's Response: I am so glad that you enjoyed the story! :) I had a blast writing it up to this point. You really are supposed to kind of sit here and say wait...is this supposed to scare me or make me laugh...I Can't decide. So I'm glad you totally got it!

Thanks again so much for reviewing!


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Review #44, by luvinpadfootForget Me Not: Chapter 4

10th August 2013:
Oh no! Poor Lily. I can't believe the Marauders would say such cruel things to her. That can't be reality, can it? She has to be in a coma or dreaming or hallucinating or something. There's no way Sirius, Remus, and Peter would do that.

James keeps telling her to wake up- is that symbolic? Is she the one in a coma and her hallucinations of him are flashes of reality? Maybe I'm just grasping at straws here, but that's my final guess. I can't wait until the final chapter is posted and we know for certain! I'm really looking forward to the conclusion!

All the spiders in this chapter were rather terrifying. I uh skimmed those bits. Again. Terror things. But definitely worth it for the story. It's absolutely brilliant!

I was so sad when the forget me nots weren't where Lily thought they were. That was the one bit where everything seemed so real, like that was reality and her bits of James really were just hallucinations. The way she keeps trying to prove to the others that James isn't dead is truly heartbreaking.

Can't wait for the ending! It's so brilliant! :)

Author's Response: Yeahh the spiders were a really difficult part for me to write because i'm TERRIFIED of spiders.

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Review #45, by luvinpadfootThe Story of Argus Filch and Mrs. Norris: Isabelle's Despair

10th August 2013:
Isabelle's feelings seem so real in this chapter. It's that feeling of the first love that everyone has at some point, that first time you feel the rush of emotions for someone else and how you know you'll never feel that way again for anyone else. Teenagers are especially prone to such strong emotions and that's how Isabelle comes across, deeply embedded in her love for Argus cut short.

I'm so glad you mentioned Romeo and Juliet! It's what I've been thinking since the romance began between them and I just adore the comparison (I'm a huge R&J fan). It comes across as so down to earth and real, despite the slight tendency toward melodrama. I dunno if that's an oxymoron, but that's what I think.

The description of her and Filch's love was beautifully written. I loved the phrasing you used in the last paragraph, especially "I would forget what it was like to love" and "Torn into shreds as easily as a piece of paper". Those two lines really stuck out as spectacular. The whole paragraph was just perfect and left me awestruck. :)

Author's Response: Ha! That's Ironic :) I just talked about Romeo and Juliet in the last review! Wow, Thanks!! This is actually my first novel/novella (not sure which its going to be yet) so it's really encouraging to get this kind of feedback. Thank you so much for all of your reviews- I really appreciate it!!!
-TheRandomGurlz


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Review #46, by luvinpadfootThe Story of Argus Filch and Mrs. Norris: Plans and Promises

10th August 2013:
Oh poor Filch and Isabelle! That's just so awful. What's he going to do now? He's only a kid. Even with everything that happened and Mr. Wright not wanting anymore romance to happen between Filch and Isabelle I can't believe he'd just kick him out like that.

The last bit was very sweet and very much seemed like two young lovers. It almost reminds me of Romeo and Juliet, the over the top farewells and proclamations of love as well as her parents forcing them apart.

It's very well done and I adore every bit of the romance, although I can't wait to see what happens from here. Obviously their story isn't near done yet so I do wonder how they come to meet again.

And when will Isabelle discover what her parents have planned for her future? I feel almost certain it's an arranged marriage now, although I can't imagine she'd be too fond of that. She seems a bit too headstrong to merely bow to her parents' will, but sometimes it's hard to tell.

I'm eager to keep reading and this story continues to be so lovely! :)

Author's Response: I'm glad I got the Romeo and Juliet act to be noticeable! I read the play a little while ago and it was just so over the top- perfect for Argus and Isabelle! I just felt the need to incorporate something like that in the story. Thank you for your insightful reviews and I hope to hear more from you!!
-TheRandomGurlz


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Review #47, by luvinpadfootThe Story of Argus Filch and Mrs. Norris: Young Love

10th August 2013:
Oh no! Poor Isabelle and Filch. I really do wish things could be happy for them. That moment before her parents walked in was so sweet. They just fit really well together despite all of their differences. I don't know what it is about the two of them, but they really work together as a couple.

And their thoughts were so parallel! It was brilliant how you switched between them so seamlessly in the narration, just flawless.

I am curious as to why exactly her parents are so upset with it, beyond the obvious reason that Filch is a servant and a bit strange. Perhaps some sort of arranged marriage? I dunno yet.

I do wish that in the end they'll run away and live happily together, but somehow I don't think that's much of a possibility. At the very least I hope her father isn't too harsh on Filch. He only just found a new home, a new place to live. It'd be so awful to have that ripped from him too after leaving his mother.

Another wonderfully crafted chapter! I adore this story so much. :)

Author's Response: I like your thoughts on the chapter :) very helpful. Aw, thanks! I really wanted to get both of their perspectives on the whole situation so I'm glad it worked out okay. Thanks for your review!
-TheRandomGurlz


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Review #48, by luvinpadfootRisen: Out of the Ashes : A Family Reunion

10th August 2013:
I pointed out one thing in the last chapter about his parents not being there and all of a sudden so many people! Haha! I love it! Harry and Ginny are just how I imagined they would be.

I adore James's relationship with his family. It just seems so realistic! And it's beautifully contrasted with Charlotte's relationship with her family. I especially liked how James didn't realize that families less perfect than his could really exist. That was very well written, great characterization!

I laughed so hard at all of his family's teasing. Even his Dad and Mum got in on it, poor James (well, not really). Everyone just assuming that he and Charlotte are together is hilarious! I'm loving it so much!

I feel so bad for Charlotte and her bad relationship with her father. I really hope as the story progresses that gets a little bit better. She deserves to be happier than she is and feel more loved, although James is such a sweetheart for getting her out of the house and taking her camping.

I know you said you had trouble with this chapter, but it definitely didn't show at all. So far this is one of my favorite chapters of the whole story! The entire thing was beautifully crafted and just perfect in every way! :)

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Review #49, by luvinpadfootRisen: Out of the Ashes : Twenty Questions Part Deux

10th August 2013:
I disappear for two weeks and so many new chapters! I'll definitely be reading through and reviewing them all over the next few days. Sorry for missing them before.

Ooh The Princess Bride is my favorite! I honestly love you ten times more for referencing that. Anyone who loves TPB must be amazing.

James and Charlotte are really cute. I loved how he was just over the hill sending little notes back and forth with her- that was the most adorable situation! I like how he's so protective of her, but not at all in a creepy way. He just seems really nice, which is a good change of pace.

I can't believe his parents let him have a motorcycle. I'd have loved to see their reaction when he first got one haha! And speaking of them, I'd really like to see more characters since so far it's just been Charlotte and James, with brief cameo from her mother, of course. I'd just like to see how they interact with other people and if James changes how he acts (to be fair that should be James and Charlotte both, but I'll just stick with James because I feel like his changes would be more obvious).

I'm eager for the rest so I'll keep reading! Lovely chapter as always. :)

Author's Response: Hope you like what I've been up to with Charlotte and James. :)
So you like Dr. Who and The Princess Bride? wish I knew you in real life, you have good taste. :D
I like to think that James "borrowed" the motorcycle. :)


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Review #50, by luvinpadfootCruel Intentions: One Mistake and A Bucket Full of Regrets

21st July 2013:
I really enjoyed this chapter! Especially at the beginning with Ellie at the party. I liked that she shocked Oliver and the rest of the boys. They seemed like they needed a good shock. I was kind of glad she got scared and left, it seemed more her than being able to handle everything all at once.

I wasn't so sure about the ending. The last thing in Ellie's POV was that she didn't care about the bet and that she was done, but then when Oliver offers her a way out she doesn't take it. That might be something that needs a bit of explaining, or at least an additional note or something. It felt kind of out of place.

Not sure how I feel about multiple POVs either. They're interesting and add to the story and you definitely write the characters well, but with so many different POV characters it's sometimes easy to lose sight of the main character, which does seem like it's supposed to be Ellie. It's her story after all.

I have one question about Oliver/Alicia. How was that blackmail? It just seemed a bit confusing and I wasn't exactly sure how it became blackmail. It seemed like Alicia had done that kind of thing before.

Not entirely sure how well the two teams chose their judge. It seems like Alicia has been pretty easily swayed into helping both teams, not to mention the blackmail. Or maybe she's so wrapped up in both that she has no chose other than to be unbiased.

The bet looks like it's bringing out the worst in everyone so far. They're still all friends, but it's kind of turned from teasing into war. The boys are blackmailing and using their friends and the girls are, well, I'm not exactly sure what the girls are doing, but it doesn't seem too positive. I'm hoping everything turns out okay in the end, because I could see this getting ugly.

And I dunno, I'm kind of wondering why Elllie stayed friends with these people for so long. Especially the guys seem really mean to her, particularly in that in six years they never once paid her a compliment. I hope nothing bad happens to her because she could get in a lot of trouble if she "becomes a color" the way they want her to.

Okay, that got really long and rambly, but I hope something in there was constructive criticism. There's a reason I probably shouldn't be leaving reviews at three in the morning! Maybe I should take a leaf out of Alicia's book and go for a walk instead, haha.

But this was a really great chapter and I loved it all! I'm really looking forward to the next one and finding out what Ellie has to do next to start proving she's a color. You're such a great writer and I love reading this story so much. Can't wait for the next chapter! :)

(I just previewed to post and realized how long this got. Uh... Sorry about that. Kudos if you actually have the patience to read all of this.)

Author's Response: hahahaha, i did read the whole thing, in fact i read it twice!

In the beginning I didn't want Ellie to change completely, because honestly where's all the fun (and truth) in that?

I have to say don't worry! EVERYTHING will be explained in the next chapter (which I'm currently writing). The blackmail, what changed Ellie's mind, what the girl's are planning and the strong parts of the friendship do come out in the next chapter.

Bets never turn out good. Someone always gets hurt and it either fizzles out and never ends, or it just get worse and worse as time goes on. (At least from my experience).

I hope I covered everything, but if I didn't I apologize, I just woke up so it's a little early for me. Thanks so super much for writing a review!! Next chapter should be up really soon.

xCriglerx


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