Reading Reviews From Member: luvinpadfoot
  
634 Reviews Found

Review #26, by luvinpadfootImunity: A little bit of introduction

22nd April 2014:
This is a really good start! Honey seems like an interesting character and her mother's just so cruel. I hope she doesn't really mean that she can never come back. Poor Honey. I'm excited to see where the Veritiserum and Albus come in! So eager for more! :)

The spacing is a little funky and long throughout this story, but I'm sure that's an easy fix. It'd also be nice to see a little more description to go with the dialogue. Your dialogue is fantastic, but a little description is always nice!

I really enjoyed every word and hope you might be interested in coming back to finish this. I can't wait to see what you can come up with for this story! From the summary it seemed like a really original idea. :D

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Review #27, by luvinpadfootDrunk Love: Who Interrupts Draco Malfoy?

20th April 2014:
I've really enjoyed reading this story! Sammy's so interesting as a character and I think you've written her entrance into the wizarding world really well. I liked how she used the term mudblood because she didn't know any better, that was really good. I wonder how she'll react to other students, if Harry and the rest of the trio will be entering the story at any point.

I can't help but wonder who her parents were. Draco obviously seems to know something or at least suspect. Sammy doesn't seem to care so much though, at least not enough to press Snape further. Hopefully it'll get revealed soon! Or at least hinted at.

Her chemistry with Draco is really great! The sexual tension is nearly palpable. It'll probably take them ages to realize that's why they hate each other so much though, they seem a bit daft. Seems like they'll have to start dealing with each other soon because of Blaise.

I love Blaise's character! He seems like a decent guy who you should automatically like, but then you keep throwing in his prejudices and his casual use of the word mudblood. It really makes it hard to decide if he's a decent guy or a jerk and I adore that. He's not black and white, a more complex character.

Anyway, I'm excited to see where you go with this story! Is Sammy going to adopt the prejudices too? Will she remain friends with Hagrid? It's all so interesting and I love it! Great story! :)

Author's Response: I think you're my new favorite person! I'm actually still debating if the Golden trio will make any appearances in this story or not, but I'm pretty sure they'll pop up as some point. :)

You'll find out soon (at least a little bit) about her parents, though I'm a bit nervous about the whole thing because it is a bit out of the norm for most hp fan fics!

Ah Blaise, I honestly love him so much. I don't really have a lot to go on with his personality, there's only little bits told about him by Rowling so I'm happy you like my take on him! (I was actually a bit worried about people thinking he was out of character)

Anyways I'm in the process writing the next chapter right now. You definitely gave me the inspiration to continue on and finish it! Hopefully you like the next chapter! :)


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Review #28, by luvinpadfootDrunk Love: What Are You Gonna Do About It?

20th April 2014:
I'm really liking this story! Sammy seems like such an interesting character, even if I do worry about her a bit. I wonder which House she'll be Sorted into. I'm still a bit curious about her past- why Dumbledore couldn't find her, what caused her to need the flask, etc. Her mother seemed to let her go a little too easily, so I'm sure there's a story there somewhere.

I really like the way she talks! It's so distinctive. I mean, yeah she swears a lot, but it's more than that. It's not the stereotypical sassy either. She just seems like Sammy and that's fantastic. You've developed a great voice for her!

This is Draco/OC so I'm assuming Sammy is the OC? It'll be nice to see her take Draco down a peg or two. Sometimes I think he could really use it. I think you've written him well too. It's fun to see him interact with people he doesn't already hate, like the trio. He's so enjoyably arrogant- I wonder if that'll last long with Sammy around. ;)

I'm really excited to read the rest now! It's a great story so far! :)

Author's Response: I wasn't expecting any response to this story but this really made me smile! :) I don't think you realize how happy (and relieved) I am that you like it so far!

I'm extremely happy you like Sammy too, I've noticed most people don't really like third person but I always thought you get a better view of the whole picture. :)

Yes, Sammy is the OC and Draco will definitely get knocked down a bit I can promise that! ;)

Thanks so much for reading this and I hope you like the rest of the story too! :)


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Review #29, by luvinpadfootThe Lost Wolf: Kid A

19th April 2014:
I think you're doing a really good job of slowly answering questions so that readers are always asking for more, but the lack of answers isn't confusing. I've noticed that whenever it's necessary for the story you make the information known and a lot of it is a little at a time over several chapters.

However, this chapter seemed like a bit of an info dump. I get that it's necessary, but at times it was a little tedious to read, though all the information was interesting. It lacked a lot of your lovely description which I think is one of the strangest parts of your story. Not that this chapter was in any way bad, I just don't think it was as good as some of the previous ones.

Your characterization is really good. It's so strong and consistent. I really feel like the characters are growing and changing already, even though it's only ten chapters in. They really do feel like real people, even if their situations are a tad strange to say the least.

I'm really enjoying the progression of the story and it feels like you've got it planned out really well. There seem to be reasons for everything that's happening, so that's good.

Um. I dunno what else to say. CC is hard. I thoroughly enjoyed the whole thing and even though you haven't received many reviews, it's just wonderful! Keep writing, it's a fantastic story! :)

Author's Response: Hi!

I am happy you liked the story!

I swear, in the next chapters I'll be back with my usual writing style... I am aware that was not one of my best chapters... I'm afraid I got carried away when other readers on other websites told me I needed to give answers as soon as possible. I'm just not good with long dialogues and didactic explanations!

But, as I said before, that will not happen again. On the contrary, I think the next chapters will be incredibly psychedelic and well... weird, as the other ones!

Thank you again, and stay tuned!


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Review #30, by luvinpadfootThe Lost Wolf: Give Up The Ghost

19th April 2014:
So it wasn't Remus who attacked her? I'm confused about the sharing of memories in this, but I'm sure that will be explained shortly. Sometimes I can't really tell whose memories are whose and who has them in their mind, but I think that might be intentional on your part. Not sure, but I think I like it. Sometimes I think the memories could be a little more...I dunno, remembering. I'm not sure how to explain it, but they read like any other scene, only in italics, instead of remembering past events.

Oh my god, I swear your Sirius just gets better and better. He's fantastic. I know I keep going on about this, but he really feels so canon and real. His pain is my pain and wow that's a lot of pain. It's brilliant, really.

Description continues to be top notch. I'm really not a fan of your characterization of Remus. Sorry, but he just doesn't feel like Remus. I can't imagine him as an alpha wolf, not with everything we've learned about him. I'm trying to be open minded though. I don't hate his character at all and you've written him well, it just doesn't feel very Remus.

I like that things are starting to look up, even a little. Curious as to who the man who obliviated her is. I keep expecting Sirius to ask her to describe him. Maybe it's Snape? I feel like it'll probably be someone she knows.

Another few lovely chapters! Can't believe I'm almost finished with what you've posted so far! :)

Author's Response: Hi again!

the problem in this chapter is that actually this shouldn't have been a chapter, but a part of it. However, it was too long so I had to cut it in half. It is a pity, because some parts were connected with the second half, and in this way you kind of loose the connections...

Anyway, I'm so sorry you don't like my version of Remus! If that makes you feel a bit better about him, he will never be a sort of sadistic, blood-thirsty wolf. At the moment he is in a very depressing and confusing phase... The wolf is trying to get free, and this causes him problems with the... broadcasting. Yep. Broadcasting. That is the main reason you were confused by the last memories... they are memories, but at the same time they aren't... I am confusing you more, aren't I? Anyway, in the next chapters you'll get a lot of answers. Remus will still be in his brooding and dark mode, but please remember that deep down he is the same good guy who kept thinking to be too poor, too old and too dangerous for a sweet girl like Tonks.

Thank you again and stay tuned!



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Review #31, by luvinpadfootThe Lost Wolf: Go to Sleep

19th April 2014:
Oh my gosh, was it Remus who attacked Cassie? What a twist. I mean really that's pretty shocking. I can't wait for a bigger reveal there, to find out what really happened. He really is more of a sad sack here than I pictured him in canon. I supposed that's the AU Cassie plot, though. Still, it'll be interesting to see how he pulls himself together to teach.

Also speaking of Remus, I'm not sure about the anger you have him expressing here. Not that he doesn't have the right to be angry, but canon Remus never shouted. Maybe this is just me sticking to my head canon, but I have a hard time seeing him expressing his anger so violently.

I never imagined him having such a close relationship with McGonagall. I guess it's just a bit strange for me to read them as anything other than politely friendly.

Your description and Sirius portrayal continue to be spot on and perfect! I think my favorite parts of the story are when it's from his point of view. And Cassie's too, but mostly his. I just love a good Sirius story and you've got a fantastic one here.

I think you mentioned once that you loved London and it really shows in the way you write about the city. It feels so alive and magical, even the muggle parts.

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm glad you liked Sirius' parts. Being him my favorite character, I tend to put a lot of effort into depicting his behavior.

My Remus is... not Canon Remus. At all. Although not the shouting type, not even here (he shouted only while arguing with Sirius, and that was because he was actually panicking), my Remus is more... Feral. More werewolf, if that makes sense :). When he'll get to Hogwarst students won't notice this, though, because he is still trying to reject that dark part of his soul... Anyway, I'll let you read about him in the next chapters and make your own opinions. Just note that, in the books, we never get a true insight of Remus' character. We see how he acts around people, but not when he's alone. And, I think, it is only when he's alone that his demons come out.

Regarding McGonagall... I love her character in JK's books, and I wanted to give her a major part in the story... I don't exactly know the role she'll have in the future, but... She'll be much more involved in Harry's and the other character's lives than in the book.

Oh, I'm so happy you liked my description of London! I would have really hated not to have been able to express my love for that city in my story...

Thank you again for the review, dear! Stay tuned!


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Review #32, by luvinpadfootBlack Ties: About Bloody Time

19th April 2014:
Yay! I'm flailing so hard over this ending! Everyone's happy and Harriet's with James and Minty's with Shorky and it's all perfect and lovely! I actually had to go spend ten minutes flailing in the corner before I could calm down enough to write this. I don't even know what to say except that yay it was fantastic! I loved every minute and every word!

I definitely wasn't expecting the Elle twist at the end of the last chapter, or Harriet's near death. I mean the girl just got out of the Hospital Wing. She couldn't have even just a week of nice relaxing fun before almost dying again? I guess she can have all the relaxing she needs now with James. Perfect couple. Their chemistry, their banter. Ugh it's sickening and perfect and flail worthy.

Have I mentioned how much I love your writing style? It's not slow. You get to the action and the good parts and don't waste time on silly nonsense that doesn't matter. Every sentence you write has a purpose and I adore that. All the characters play important roles, just everything is flawless and wonderful.

And you're funny too! Gah I spent every other chapter either on the edge of my seat hoping no one was going to die or laughing my bum off. Honestly, it was just hysterical. Your comedy in here is brilliant, especially with Harriet but the others too.

Um my only critiques are stuff I've already mentioned. Small stuff mostly. Grammar, spacing, etc. I dunno, I'm not so helpful with the reviews. I do better at flailing.

I'm half hoping you have a sequel and half hoping you don't because sequel means the likelihood that Harriet will be miserable and nearly die again is rather high. Everything ended so perfectly here that I kinda don't want her to be miserable again, but you know. I dunno if I could resist a sequel. I blame you for the pain you've caused. :p

I love love love this story so much! It's fantastic and amazing and brilliant! You're such a wonderful writer! (sorry for all the review spam today. kinda. not really) :D

Author's Response: *squeels like a piglet* thankyouu so much!! Seriously I think you just inspired me to go and write a sequel. Gosh dang I think I might go do that write now! I had so much fun writing this too, once I had two imperfect but weirdly compatible characters in James and Harriet my imagination went nuts and I just brainstormed plots. Can't wait to do it all again for the sequel. It will be different in style with more perspectives but yeah.. Ah I'm so pumped now. :D

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Review #33, by luvinpadfootBlack Ties: Claustrophobic

19th April 2014:
I'm glad James apologized. He really needed to, though I'm not sure I'm as forgiving as Harriet at the moment. The Map though, I wonder who she's going to see. Intrigue!

I think I'm as confused as they are right now. Is it a ghost? Or someone with the help of a ghost? Or Peeves? And I can't believe Fred just broke up with her! Their relationship didn't last very long, but there's always hope for the future. (Or James. No I haven't given up hope yet.)

Oh my gosh that's awful! Is she a vampire? I'm gobsmacked! (Sorry for the short review, I just really want to move on.)

Author's Response: Ah no your reviews are amazing thankyouu so much you made my week! So exciting to see your enjoying it, it makes me want to write more!!

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Review #34, by luvinpadfootBlack Ties: Wrah Wraoh

19th April 2014:
Yay she found out! This is all so exciting. I wonder how Harry will react. I always kind of like it when Sirius has children. It's like a part of him lives on even though he obviously didn't. Harriet was rather impressive with that riddle too. She figured it out a heck of a lot faster than I did. I hope that just because they're telling people doesn't mean they'll get into any trouble with the stalker. I do keep wondering who it is.

The scene with Tabitha was really sweet! Aw it made me tear up a little. I can't believe she looks up to her big sister so much! I mean I can, but you know. I'm just really glad she told her.

I think you have a little habit of mixing up your and you're, but that's not really a big issue. Just something I noticed. Same with the spacing. It can still get a little funky at times. :)

Wow that was really cruel of James. I get that he's a little jealous or whatever, but still. He could have been a touch nicer to her. That was crossing the line.

Poor Godric! This whole chapter was really sad. Poor Al. Poor everyone. They all need hugs and to be stuck in happier lives with no murderous psychopathic stalkers. Speaking of which, I'm starting to get a little suspicious of Padill. There's something not right with her, I don't think. She just seemed weird. I dunno. I might be making stuff up because I want to know so bad.

I hope Fred doesn't play Harriet, like James said. I know it's a possibility, but she doesn't deserve that. Maybe Fred will prove to be nicer than that. I can hope at least. :)

Author's Response: Ah yes I know exactly what you mean about Sirius. I am currently entertaining a firm denial that his death is canon. And yes with the epiphany! I will never forget reading the chamber of secrets when harry and Ron read the passage about the basilisk and it all comes together. My ten or so year old mind was blown and I was kind of hoping for a similar sort of effect here. There is nothing worse in my opinion then sitting round waiting for a character to figure out something you got three chapters earlier.

Ah yes I love writing the sister scenes. I have a sister myself and although these days we are more like mint and Harriet, tabitha is still quite young meaning Harriet is still 'big sister' rather then just 'sister'. If I do write a sequel I plan to develop that relationship heaps more as Tabitha gets a bit older.

Ee sorry! I really should have paid more attention in year three. I do technically know the difference my brain just refuses to pick it up unless I'm concentrating . I plan on doing a big edit very soon though so I shall fix them up then. As for everything else ~no comment~ ;)



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Review #35, by luvinpadfootBlack Ties: Welcome to Stares-Ville

19th April 2014:
Giving Harriet the boggart was a really Harry thing to do. I can just imagine canon Harry doing that. He's kind of like Lupin in that way, I think. I loved that scene so much. I guess I'm not really surprised that her boggart was her father, but I feel bad for her that James witnessed it. I wonder if that'll come back to haunt her some. After this chapter, I definitely ship her and James. I love them together.

Is Al gay? I can't believe he kissed her! I mean wow that was unexpected. I'm glad you're not doing a romance between them. I think that'd feel a little awkward. That line Harriet said, though. Oh my god. Don't be, Al its no biggy which team you bat for as long as your scoring. That is possibly one of my favorite lines in all of writing. It made me laugh so hard! It's just utter brilliance, really. I adore it!

This chapter was hilarious! I love your writing style. I kept laughing so hard the entire time. Probably not a great thing since everyone here's asleep, but oh well. I didn't see Harriet/Fred coming, though they do have a pretty awesome back and forth going there. I guess I can ship it, though I am still hoping for a little James romance to be thrown in. ;)

Still loving every minute! Can't wait until they do some more discovery with the stalker- and they won't get expelled over the plant, will they?

Author's Response: Yess ah thankyouu! It was so hard to stick to canon with Harry because everyone knows him so well I have to make sure I don't change jkr's wonderful character, and yes I did kind of like the idea of Harry teaching her about boggarts like lupin taught him. It also means a lot more to Harriet as he is kind of her hero in a way her father never was.

Ah! Thankyouu! Yep it was actually an accident at first but when I re-read it I was like 'YES accidental brilliance!'. I think Al is not entirely sure which team he is batting for at the moment but Harriet helps hiim to realise that while it seemed like this big scary secret thing to him, it actually did not so much as make Harriet blink she's just a little surprised but mostly like 'k sweet'. I thought her reaction helped say a bit about her character and personality too. But yes, in the sequel he's gay.

Sque so glad you thought it was funny ! It was really fun to write too!


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Review #36, by luvinpadfootBlack Ties: Sorting It Out

19th April 2014:
You call them eleven two chapters ago, but aren't they fourteen now and in their fourth year? I thought you skipped ahead a couple of chapters back.

Anyway, I love all the ridiculous theories they have! I think I read a fic like that on the site, where Harry is in a mental ward and Hogwarts is really just his hallucination. I like that Mint seems nearly convinced of it, really brilliant! I'm kind of worried about the teachers now. Is it one of them? I assume the note ties into Harriet's family, but how? I'm starting to think Black Ties might relate back to the Black family, but I'm not sure yet...

Wizarding royalty, huh? That's impressive! I can't wait to find out more about her past and who her grandfather is. I'm still thinking Black maybe, even though there are Blackwells too. Is her mother still around? I wonder how she would take the news that they've maybe found her parents, at least one of them. And poor Harriet. I'm glad she's found her friends at Hogwarts and gets to go home with Albus over Christmas break! I'm really excited to see how you write Harry and Ginny. It's always really interesting to see them all grown up in fanfics.

More intrigue with the notes. I'm really adoring this story so far! I can't believe I'm almost half done with it! :)

The spacing is a little off sometimes. Not a big deal, but there are occasionally extra spaces or not enough.

Some more great chapters!

Author's Response: Oh yes, sorry about that, Harriet and her friends were originally actually all eleven the whole way through the story but it got a bit wierd with the stuff they were doing so I re wrote the whole thing. Also, fun fact, it used to all be in first person so if there are random 'I's and 'me's that is why. :/

Oh really? I haven't seen that one I actually got the idea for that one off a 'community' episode.

Also with the Blackwells they are actually on Harry potter wiki as wizarding royalty, so I didn't just completely make it up :)

Thanks for the review!! No spoilers ;)


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Review #37, by luvinpadfootBlack Ties: The Diseptive, Perceptive and Disruptive

19th April 2014:
This got dark really fast. I'm so glad Mint is going to be okay, but that note's got me scared. I remember there was something about Harriet getting a stalker, is this it? I feel so bad for them, though. They're only kids. They should really go to a professor with that note, but I suppose they're all too headstrong for that. Gryffindors, you know. Hopefully nothing else bad will happen, but I'm doubting that a bit.

The last one was probably my favorite chapter so far! You write the action so well and I just love the chapter title. It's perfect!

This chapter was just really sad and I guess a little bittersweet too. You captured the tone perfectly. It felt kind of like an emotional roller coaster, but I think that worked well with what was happening and Harriet's personality. With all this talk about her home life, I can't help but wonder if it's gotten any better. She still has to go home over the summer, right? And how's Tabby doing?

I think after this chapter I kind of ship her with James a bit. Maybe I shouldn't, but they seem to have such wonderful chemistry! I can't wait to see what you've got planned next! I'm really adoring this story! (:

Author's Response: Eeep!! Omy goshh! Thank you so much for the reviews!! Ah yes it does get dark. I often get inspired by the style of what I'm reading and I had just started reading game of thrones when I wrote this so you may understand the effect that had.. 😕 Ah and the title thankyouuu I spent a long time staring at the screen trying to think of something clever 😎 no spoilers 😉 🚢🚢

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Review #38, by luvinpadfootBlack Ties: To The Castle!

19th April 2014:
Back, finally! I really love these last two chapters! There were a few typos here and there and you should always split the paragraph when another person speaks, but other than that I didn't notice anything.

I'm so glad Tabby gets to go to Hogwarts too! Lue seems like a cool guy, even if he's not Hagrid. I guess Hagrid deserved some time off with his kid. Are Rose and the others going to be in this or are you not sticking with the canon next gen? I love it when people mess with the system. Makes the stories more interesting because you never know what to expect.

One thing I noticed is that your characters seem to swear an awful lot for eleven year olds. Perhaps this is just me, but I've never known any kids that young with such foul mouths. You might want to try saving that language for when they get a little older, but that's just a suggestion.

I love the inner narration with the Hat! Why does he think her mind is strangely familiar? Did she have a family member who was magical? Perhaps the strangely absent mother? I'm really excited to find out! I'm also really glad they all got Sorted into the same House.

Can't wait to continue on reading! These chapters were just as awesome as the first! :)

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Review #39, by luvinpadfootDevil's Trickery: Devil's Trickery

18th April 2014:
Hi! Here with that promised review. (:

I've never thought about anything like this in the HP world before which is odd because it kind of makes sense that there'd be other magical creatures. Jinn, demons, what have you. And I think you definitely did the crossroads demon justice.

Anamaria, or whatever her name really is, is ice cold. Just wow. No heart there, though I guess I shouldn't be surprised since she is a demon. I like how almost sassy she is when speaking with James, but during the deal itself and ten years later. I want to call her psychopathic, but can demons even be psychopaths or are they all just like that by nature? Either way, you portrayed her character really well.

What a twist ending. I hadn't even though about James's words until then. Sending his kids to Hell because he made a stupid mistake is just mean. I think I'll be blaming you for all the emotions that gave me. That question at the end from the little girl asking if she was going to Heaven broke my heart in two. Take the father if you have to, but the little girl too?

One thing that I think could improve this would be delving into James's character a little more. I think there's a lot more to him than we can see in this. For example, why was he in Azkaban in the first place? If a little more of who he is could make it into the story, that might make it all the more painful when his life (everything he has) is ripped away at the end.

It was truly a great one-shot though and I'm glad you did well in the challenge! You definitely earned it. Enjoyed every word! (:

Author's Response: Hi!

Heh, to be honest neither did I until I saw the challenge and started to think about all the creatures that might exist but never got mentioned in the books. And thank you -- I don't watch Supernatural, so I was quite concerned about that, so it's great to hear that you felt I did the crossroads demon justice!

I feel like Anamaria manages to survive in Azkaban because she's one of the demons who don't have a soul. She's pathological and manipulative, and it was really fun to write her because she's so unlike any character I've ever tackled before.

If it helps, I felt absolutely awful writing that scene. I deliberated over it for a good few hours, but in the end it felt like the right option. She's a soulless being who leeches off humans, and to have her suddenly feel sorry for a child would have felt unrealistic to me.

That is part of the reason why I withheld information on James' circumstances, too -- to Anamaria, that's irrelevant. That's nothing to do with her little plot to steal everything that James has. I am planning to write a one-shot from James' POV as a companion piece to this one, flipping the POVs so we can see what he was thinking when he made his choice.

Thank you so much for such a lovely review! :)


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Review #40, by luvinpadfootInside: Inside

18th April 2014:
Hi! Here with that promised review. :)

How delightfully obscure! I must admit, I don't think I've ever given more than two thoughts to Broderick Bode. It took me a few minutes to place him at all. Did you pick him or was he assigned? Either way, it made for a really interesting story!

The thing that was in my mind the whole time was how unpleasant he was. I understand that his current situation is not the greatest, but it seemed more than that- like he was just generally an unpleasant person. That really worked for me. His almost arrogance and general distaste for everyone around him felt very realistic for someone working in the Department of Mysteries. His talking (thinking?) down to the hospital staff seemed so true to his character, even though we never really see it in canon. That right there is an impressive accomplishment.

Now, I can't really remember, but how exactly was he unable to communicate? I can't remember what the books said and I was a bit unclear if it was his volume or he was babbling or what. I think that for a character this minor you might want to be a bit more specific if you can be.A fair number of people might not remember exactly what happened from the books.

The ending was really strong! I'm really glad you didn't have him overly suspicious of the plant. That could be a little overplayed, him screaming in his head for them to take it away. A little suspicion was nice, but it worked better coming across as more of a distaste of the gift rather than immediately recognizing it as a murderous thing.

I really enjoyed reading this! It's a lovely look into his head and it all flowed together really well. I may have flailed a bit over the story ending mid sentence, but I supposed we all know how it ends. Wonderful story and glad I had the chance to read it! :)

Author's Response: Hi!

Not everyone's a hero. Not everyone comes close. Bode isn't evil, but he wouldn't be a nice person to spend time with! And at this point he's really frustrated because he's used to being in control. I'm so glad you like the characterisation.

In my version, he had no control over his body - there were other impulses controlling that, probably causing him to babble as well as the teapot thing. But he wasn't able to control that. When he did manage to say anything, it was struggling through an unresponsive body so especially at first only a few words would have come through, then he'd have managed more but they'd have been slurred and mumbled and yes, a volume issue. I'm not sure that really is in the books, and I was taking the book interpretation loosely on this occasion - but good point, thanks.

Thank you so much! I think he didn't recognise it or panic over it because he was too absorbed in his own problems, too busy being grumpy for the hell of it. We do all know how it ends, and at that point his POV kind of became no longer available! :P


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Review #41, by luvinpadfootFeel Again: Feel Again

18th April 2014:
Hi! Here with that review. :)

For starters, I think you kept the story in the moment very well. It's a hard thing to do without confusing the reader or having chunky explanation paragraphs, but you straddled the line really well! I was never lost to the point that it was difficult to keep up, but you showed without telling. It all seemed like a realistic thought process for James.

The only thing that did seem out of place was the line that everyone was against him. Perhaps I missed something, but I didn't notice a reason for that? I understand Slytherin, of course, but not the other two. A brief explanation, even a line, might help clarify that a bit and give it a purpose in the story other than a plot point.

Two parts really stuck out to me. One was the beginning, just wow. Those first four lines were brilliant and instantly drew me in. "There. Right there." Utter brilliance, really. I love that line. It was such a perfect way to start the story.

The other was James's rambling line. "Something cracked and there was pain, unbearable pain, and there were cries and there was falling and fading and toes, and toes, and wiggle your toes, and I cannot." There was just something about it that flowed so well and fit with the story. I think I read that line about three times before continuing on. I can't exactly say why, but something about it is so moving.

I'll admit, the ending made me tear up a bit. It's so sweet and a little bit sappy, but only good sappy. It's such a hopeful end and I just adore it!

This whole story was lovely and wonderful! There was nothing at all awful about it. You definitely earned those extra points. :)

Author's Response: Hi, hi, hi! Thank you so much for the review! It's so nice to have some feedback on it! I'm always so panicky when posting new fics, and this one in particular was nerve-wracking because of how quickly it had to be written! hehehe This is exactly the type of review I needed - you're fabulous; thank you so much! *hugs*

Phew! Well that's great to hear! I'm pretty inexperienced with this sort of writing, so I'm relieved to hear I handled it alright! I tend to avoid all mystery, too, because of exactly what you said: finding that balance between giving the readers enough so they can follow along, without giving so much away that they know what's happening before you want them to. I was mostly afraid people would get lost, so I'm glad you could follow along! Yay! ^.^

Ah, I see what you mean! I know what I -tried- to do, but it must not have worked how I planned. :-p This paragraph here: "Today was meant to be so simple; just defeat Slytherin and take a heavy lead in both the Quidditch and House Cups. I'd been so certain that we would, too. It had been easy to ignore the fact that all the other Houses were rooting desperately against us, against me, because all that had mattered was guiding my team to victory and taking that comfortable lead." was meant to sort of allude to the fact that the other Houses were against Gryffindor because if they won the game, they would take a hefty lead against the other Houses - so it wasn't so much that they were against James as a person, but his team (though he was the Captain, but I should have written that... I did originally, but it was an awful sentence, so I deleted it, LOL). I can definitely make that clearer in an edit, though! Thank you for pointing it out; I'll work with it as soon as I get the chance! (I can't believe this is the only critique! *dies*)

*squee* Yay! Beginning are so important to me, and I'm just thrilled you like what I did with the opening here!

*double squee* That was actually part of the story I struggled the most with, so this is so wonderful to hear! I knew what needed to be said, but was having trouble saying it, and then finally this line came out! I'm so happy it was worth the extra time I took to sort it out! :-D

Aww, it did? *hugs* That's so wonderful to hear. Other than the section I mentioned above, the ending was the other part I struggled with. I'm really pleased and touched that it moved you, as it was about 2am when I was pulling that part together and was really unsure if it was going to land the way I intended for it to!

YOU are just lovely and wonderful! Gah! Thank you so, so much for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful review; I endlessly appreciate it! *hugs*


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Review #42, by luvinpadfootThe Lost Wolf: Street Spirit

18th April 2014:
Yay! It is her memory! I thought at first the attack she remembered might be Sirius/Peter blowing up the street, but then I realized that was not quite April. So I supposed this was before? I keep trying to figure out if it's a canon event, even though it probably isn't. I make myself crazy sometimes. ;)

Anyway, each little memory so sweet and well written! They honestly do seem like realistic scenes, the question about the sweater in the heat and the stars in the Great Hall. I really love what she's remembering, though I am quite curious if there's going to be anything about her mother?

As for this chapter, I love love love the narration from Sirius. It's hard to do a really good Sirius, I think, and you've caught his personality wonderfully. I like that there's a reason he's looking for Cassandra, not just random hope that she might still be alive. It gives him such better purpose in the story.

To be nitpicky, Sirius seems to travel quite quickly considering he's in dog form and walking everywhere. But that's just me not having any good critiques to offer you. (:

Your descriptions are lovely. Just the smells and sights and how Sirius sees everything. It's all about perspective and you capture his so well.

A few typos in this chapter, but nothing major. Nothing that really stuck out, so that's yay. (I'm not so good with the CC, sorry.)

I do wonder, if Cassandra was attacked by a werewolf, why she never turned? Is it because her father was a werewolf? Also, why did she never get a letter to Hogwarts? Hasn't she still got magic in her even if she's living in the muggle world? Or did the Death Eaters curse it out of her when she was kidnapped? I'm kind of wondering now if she was kidnapped or if she just wandered away and got lost... I suppose these questions will be answered shortly, but I haven't got time to keep reading right now!

It's such a lovely story, I'll definitely be coming back to it later/in the next few days.

And on a rather amusing note, I got the scary profanity message about Cassandra's name. :p

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you again for your reviews!

Your questions made me realize that I didn't specify an important detail in the Author Notes: this story isn't set during the same period as the original Harry Potter, but a couple of years before. The time during which Cassandra and Sirius act is 1990, I think three or four years before the actual period during which the story was set. Harry was born in 1977 and not in 1980, and the Godric's Hollow attack happened in 1978. Lily and the Marauders, however, were born on canon dates... I know it's a bit confusing, but this way Sirius and the other protagonists of the first war are younger than canon, and well... Personally I prefer this way, considering the next developments of the story :)

Regarding the time taken by Sirius to reach Surrey... You are not the first one to point out the fact he seems to be a bit too fast... Actually, being this Sirius POV, I wanted to make the timeline a bit of a blur. He has just escaped Azkaban after twelve years, having lost completely the concept of day and night... He has only one thing in mind, and that sort of isolates him from the real passing of time. It may seem that it took only a day for him to reach Magnolia Crescent, but in reality he ran for almost a week.

I'm so glad you liked the descriptions and the memories... I tend to be very "visual" in my writing style, because before starting a story I sort of play my mental film of the plot... In this way, the fan fiction per se is just a written description of a series of images, sounds and smells. Sometimes writing is not enough, so I have to draw everything!

Thank you again for your feedback!


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Review #43, by luvinpadfootThe Lost Wolf: A Wolf at the Door

18th April 2014:
I saw Sirius/OC and was shocked when she put Lupin! So I'm guessing she's Remus's daughter then? Who's the mother? I'm really curious how AU this story is. Is Remus even alive? With Tonks? With her mother? *flails* So many questions!

The colonel is a real jerk. As awful as it is that he threw her out, some part of me is thinking good riddance. To be helpful and offer CC though, he almost seems a little cartoonishly evil. Though I guess anyone throwing out their adopted daughter because she has a prosthetic leg (or whatever it is) is going to seem cartoonishly evil.

The memories/dreams were really awesome! I can't wait until she finds out more about her past and Remus. I do wonder what scene she's remembering. Is Aunt Mary the Mary MacDonald that was mentioned by Lily? I really wonder how she'll take meeting her father (if he's alive) and Sirius and the others.

The spacing is a little off, but that should be an easy fix. I think I only noticed one spelling typo so yay! No idea what the British army is really like, but I'm pretty surprised they'd let a minor in because, you know, minor. And all that. I dunno, sort of nitpicky.

Mostly I'm just sitting her flailing about how difficult it is to be helpful when all I want to do is read the next chapter. :)

Oh god, I can't wait until Sirius shows up. This is AU so I'm crossing my fingers really hard that he lives. No dying in the veil, I hope?

Author's Response: Thank you SO much for your review!! I'm so happy you liked the first chapter!

The Colonel is REALLY awful. Oh, he is. He'll return after some chapters, and you'll find him even more horrible!

Yeah, the "Aunt Mary" in the dream is actually Mary McDonald. Actually, you'll find lots of "Aunts" and "Uncles" in the story, because... Well, you'll see! :P

Oh, the spacing. I know, that is horrible. I sort of fixed it in the next chapters, but in the last chapters it has returned wonky! Urgh! I'll edit everything as soon as possible.

Regarding the Army... Well, everything will be sort of explained in the next chapters. I know that technically she is too young to be a full trained soldier, but... Remember that the Colonel is... A Colonel. And a bad one too :)

Anyway, thank you again for your comment, and stay tuned :)


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Review #44, by luvinpadfootBlack Ties: Welcome Intrusions

18th April 2014:
Eep! I just found this and it's completed and already so good! Yay! Just wow it's fantastic! I can't believe you haven't got loads of reviews on this. Just wow.

I think my favorite part was the line about the HP world being too flawless. JKR's a squib. New head canon. Yep. Totally true.

I feel so bad for Harriet and Tabby! Poor things. I'm so glad they're getting the chance to escape and get out of the house. It really is like a dream come true. (And if this has a sad ending, I can tell you right now I'm going to bawl my eyes out.)

I like Daniel's character. A lot of people don't write Charlie with kids since it's not technically canon, but I've always kind of felt bad that he's all alone. Daniel seems really nice too, which I think Harriet needs.

I'd really really love to read the rest of it now, but sadly I haven't got the time today so I'll be coming back and leaving more reviews! Yay! :) I love this story so far!!!

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Review #45, by luvinpadfootThe Flying W: Suspicion

16th April 2014:
Ooh I love the intrigue! I can't wait to see what happens! What did they do with Delaney? Who tried to kill him? I'm really curious as to what happened! I can't wait for more, this is a really great story!

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Review #46, by luvinpadfootA Little of This: Valentine's with Doren

15th April 2014:
I really like this so far! All of the characters are really interesting and I like the little joke about their relationship coming of age. It seems really well thought out and I'm sure you've got great plans for it!

However, I'm a little confused as to who the narrator is. I don't think she's introduced at all, though she's got a great personality. Just something you might want to check our. I love how she fusses over everyone, though.

And what's with Doren? Don't tell me there's something wrong with the little hamster! Aw.

Well it was a really great start and I thoroughly enjoyed every word of it! Lovely story. (:

Author's Response: Thank you for the review.
Actually I just wanted to have a go at this. I already had second thought before posting this. It is good to know you enjoyed it.
The narrator will be revealed in the next chapter though. I am working on bringing it together.
And Doren will be fine... I assure you :)


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Review #47, by luvinpadfootLove Story: Love Story

15th April 2014:
Aw this was so sweet! Your summary was just perfect for this story. It was gooey and cliched, but also precious and perfect in every way. I just loved it! Wonderful little one shot!

Author's Response: Thank you it means a lot every time I get a positive review. It really makes my day thank you!

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Review #48, by luvinpadfootHarry Potter and the Trip Across the Ocean: Mysteries and Mail

15th April 2014:
I really like this beginning! I'm eager to know what the birthday gift from Luna and Neville is, and what she wouldn't say in the letter. Why was Malfoy at Hogwarts over the summer? That seemed more than a bit strange. It looks like a really good start to what's going to be an interesting story!

A few critiques. You shift between past and present tense a fair bit, but that's a pretty easy fix. You could also try rewriting your summary to get a few more views. It might help to get the tone and plot of your story across, rather than leaving it so vague.

That being said, your characterization of Harry is really good! He seems really canon in this, hiding all his things under the floorboards and staying up all night to watch the Map. It was a great scene to really introduce him and the story.

Also your description! Wow! It flowed really naturally and had just the right amount of imagery without being overly flowery. Really great stuff, description is a hard thing to do well.

Fantastic beginning! I'm sure the next chapters will be just as great! Really enjoyed every word. :)

Author's Response: luvinpadfoot,

Thanks for the review! It means so much to me! I am glad you are enjoying the story! So first off, I have absolutely no idea what I am making Luna and Neville give Harry, but it should be great! Second, the news that she wouldn't say in the letter is pretty exciting! I won't keep you waiting too long. My next chapter should be up in the next few days. :) Thirdly, Malfoy was at Hogwarts talking to Dumbledore for a very important reason, but you must know I will not bring that in until around Chapter 5 or 6, just so you know! Um I think Fourthly? Haha. Anyway, I am trying to work on the present/past tense problem; I sometimes feel like saying it in the past tense is weird, but it's the grammar law! I will try and be more careful and maybe reword it to still sense perfectly. Next, do you have any suggestions for the summary? Write one and send it to me if you want! I am not good with that part because I don't have everything totally planned out yet, but I know that the main plot involves Harry and his friends having to travel across the Atlantic Ocean to America and find someone or something, maybe both. Or something that is also a someone. Next on my list, thanks you for your compliment on my characterization of Harry. I did my best remembering everything. Lastly (I think), Which description are you referring to? Is it one of Harry or his friends? Thanks for that though! Thanks so much for this review! I hope the next chapters will be as enjoyable for you as the first was! I am open to any suggestions! Like I said chapter 2 should be up in a few days! And chapter 3 sometime this week if I have time! We'll see!

Thanks again!
~TMFAS


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Review #49, by luvinpadfootThe Three Couples: After The War: People Start to Notice

15th April 2014:
Aw this is really sweet! I like seeing all the couples coming together after the war. Finally they can have a chance to be happy together and rebuild their lives.

I always kind of shipped Neville/Luna even if it isn't canon. I just love the two of them together. I especially love the way you characterized them. Neville seems really canon in this, his shyness about Luna.

I wonder who's selling the pictures to the prophet? Is it Skeeter? Poor guys, they've all been through so much and just want to be left alone.

There are a few typos and tense errors, but nothing too much and that was about the only thing I noticed to critique. :)

What you've got so far is great and I really enjoyed it! It's such a lovely idea and you're working with it so well. (:

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing the story!! Believe it or not, this is the very first review I've received. I'll try to recheck mt spelling, its really not a strong point of mine!

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Review #50, by luvinpadfootSilent Footsteps : Prologue

14th April 2014:
Wow this was awesome! I'm really excited to see everything that led up to this moment. Charlotte seems like such a vivid character already and I tend to be a sucker for story's where James has a sister. ;)

Your descriptions were so lovely! Just wow. I could picture everything so clearly in my head. Especially even just the first paragraph. It was such a strong start to the story!

The only critique I have is that sometimes you switch tense from present to past so that might want to be something to watch out for.

Other than that it was fantastic and I absolutely loved it! Haven't got time to read the other two chapters now, but I'll get to them later. :)

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