Reading Reviews From Member: luvinpadfoot
  
621 Reviews Found

Review #26, by luvinpadfootAnother Kind of Crazy: Another Kind of Crazy

7th July 2014:
*House Cup 2014 Review*

After all the lovely reviews you left on Moonlit Sonata, I just had to come by and see your stories and I'm so glad I did! This one is absolutely lovely! You delve so deeply into Bellatrix's thoughts and I adore how you've 'justified' her position. She honestly believes she can be in the right too and the way you've written it, I've started thinking 'well, why not?' It's really great!

The only critiques I can offer is that at times there's a lot of exposition and it can feel like you're just explaining her life. The parts with your imagery, like at the very beginning, are so powerful that I'd love to see more of them! A few of the paragraphs are also a little large, but that's more formatting than anything in your story.

My favorite part was when she was talking about being the perfect follower and the perfect wife. I felt that was so perfect and true to Bellatrix's character. She loves Voldemort more than even her husband. You really managed to capture her essence in this story and she's not an easy character to write. I truly loved reading it! :)

Author's Response: Awww, thanks so much! You reading my stories and leaving this review means so much to me! When I was writing this I was thinking that no one really ever thinks that they are evil for the most part. They have all reasoned things out for themselves. I thought that Bellatrix would be no different, especially since she was raised with those ideals.

Thanks for the criticism, I wrote this my freshman year of high school on a separate site and haven't really looked at it since except for when I put it on here, but rereading it I can see what you mean. I think I might go back and just touch up a few things so it reads better.

Thanks again for leaving such a wonderful review, I truly appreciate it! I hope you keep writing and coming up with some more stories! I really loved your take on the Marauders Era!


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Review #27, by luvinpadfootNaive: Chapter the Twenty-Ninth

7th July 2014:
*House Cup 2014 Review*

I may have been reading this story for the past month and just finished it. Just maybe. It's so fantastic! I'd loved how bright and vivid all your characters were! At first I thought it was going to be a parody type story (I mean, his name is Glitter...), but this was so much better than anything I could have imagined!

I did suspect a little something with Elliot and Lily. Not much, but in the last few chapters especially it seemed like there was something rather negative going on between them. I never imagined he'd do something that horrible though. Just wow. Makes me wish Lily had kicked him to the curb a long time ago.

Something I really enjoyed about this story, so much more than most others, was that ending. Even though Lily and Elliot broke up, it wasn't a sad ending. It just felt nice and hopeful like that was just another aspect of life you have to deal with sometimes. It wasn't sad because he was gone or really triumphant, just soft and hopeful. It was the perfect coming of age story.

All of your characters were so vivid and real. I cried when Molly died and laughed at Glitter, Al, and all the others. They each had such vibrant personalities and story lines! I adored every minute of reading this story. It was so wonderful in every way.

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

I ALWAYS planned on having Elliot being a big meanie poo so I actually hated writing him. I used to always scowl and mumble, "I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO, ELLIOT!" but I tried to hide it, haha :P

A lot of people think (and write) that when a person is in a relationship, they're going to last forever and ever and ever but the sad and hard truth that a lot of relationships WON'T work out. So I wanted to write that in my story!

I admit, I got a little teary when Molly died :'( But I always laughed when I was writing Al. He's such an eccentric character and I loved writing every scene with him, haha! :P

Thank you so much for this beautiful review. You're just so lovely! ♥

- Kayla :)


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Review #28, by luvinpadfootThe Very Bottom of the Cauldron: Fischer Family Fact Time

23rd June 2014:
Ooh I really enjoyed this! You got Frida's personality spot on. She seems like such a real character, spouting insults that aren't always the most clever, but enough so that it's amusing to read. She's so funny and vibrant and original, which I think can be difficult to do with OC's sometimes. You've definitely broken the mold with her, so kudos!

The relationships you've started building here, namely with her mother, sister, Agatha, and the Potters, all have great potential. I especially love the way she interacted with her mother. They seemed to banter more like friends than mother and daughter, but it really worked with them. The same comment goes for Melissa. They felt like sisters, bickering sisters. Not all sisters are the best of friends, no matter how many times it's written that way, but it's still obvious she cares about her sister.

I'm very interested to see more of the Potter boys! I'm assuming James knows her well from being prefects together and his brother friends with her sister, but I'm not sure quite yet how he really feels about her. He obviously likes her at least a little since he got her out of the compartment and possible out of a great deal of trouble.

For constructive criticism, I only have that sometimes her inner commentary got a little tiring to read. I'd love to see it interspersed with some more descriptions. I think that could help the flow of the piece a lot.

You have a lot of interesting characters and a great dynamic building between them for the first chapter! It's a wonderful beginning. :)

Author's Response: THANK YOU!!! I love personalities like Frida honestly, both reading and writing like main characters who aren't afraid to speak their mind rock and i love them a lot!!! Thank you so much!! Of course, I was slightly concerned about the inner commentary and I'm glad you pointed that out!

Thank you for the review!!

-Curie xx


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Review #29, by luvinpadfootDevlin Potter: Riddle and Rescue: Shifting Thoughts

16th June 2014:
I didn't have time to catch up to the last chapter tonight, but I'll continue working on this story for the next however long it takes me. I'm really enjoying it! I'll continue onto the others tomorrow, but I'll probably leave reviews every ten or so chapters. :)

Devlin/Dubhan seems much older than he is, even for a child prodigy and the grandson of Voldemort. It's not so much the story or plot surrounding him, but rather your writing. Your writing is amazing and you have lovely word choice, but it feels very adult in tone, language, and style. It just feels very mature in ways that even a brilliant child who's been through what Devlin has can't master. I guess the word I'm looking for is worldly. Devlin has a very worldly sense even though he's a young child with limited life experiences. I think this was more of a comment for the first few chapters (in part since he was younger) and that's seemed to tone down a bit more for the last couple.

Sometimes you mix up apostrophes, especially words like its and it's. Also adding the occasional extraneous space in words like illogical. Other than that, I only noticed the occasional typo which wasn't distracting from the story. Just a few things to maybe keep an eye on.

One thing you do really well is viewing the characters from different point of views. The best example is the way Devlin views Harry. At first I thought you weren't giving Harry enough credit, but then I realized it was Devlin not giving Harry enough credit and from other POVs you can really see Harry's strength. You give such great depth to all the characters through this.

Another thing is the physical feelings, like when Remus punches Geoffrey. You write those scenes with such power that it's impossible to disregard anything the feels. This story is very emotional and there's a lot going on in the various characters' heads that they don't say, but the physicality isn't forgotten about.

The way you combine both Dubhan and Devlin into the same character is quite wonderful and well done. The differences are so intricate that he's never completely one or the other, but instead both at the same time. The intertwining of the two is masterfully done. It's sweet how Emma's the one who manages to bring out the emotion in him. Even though he's faking it to get his wand back, he's doing that for her and it's sweet.

This is a really great story and I'm looking forward to catching up on the rest of it. :)

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Review #30, by luvinpadfootDragons, Disguises, and Not-So-Dumb Blondes: Dragons, Disguises, and Not-So-Dumb Blondes

17th May 2014:
I really wasn't expecting to love this story as much as I did, but it was brilliant! I absolutely adored the way you wrote Greece. Have you ever been there? Because I'd totally believe that you had from the way you wrote it. It just seemed so easy and natural which is hard when writing about other countries. (Granted, for all I know you could be Greek. That'd be awkward.)

I can honestly say I've never seen Teddy written like this and I adored it. It really feels like you combined Remus and Tonks's personalities into one person, which I guess that's what Teddy is so it makes perfect sense. He's the perfect mixture of chivalrous nice guy and cocky jerk. The way you turned the chivalry around on him with Victoire at the end was amazing. It's nice to see the girl saving the guy in a realistic way for once. It fit very nicely into their personalities.

"We are Greek. What do we care about protocol?" That line. I was reading this at some ridiculous hour of the morning and that line almost made me wake up the whole house I was laughing so hard. All the Greek characters were hilarious, from Nikolas to the Minister. Even Victoire's horror at realizing the man she'd just threatened was the Ministry. All so unbelievably perfect. I can't write humor so I'm always amazed and impressed by those authors like you who do it so well.

By the time I reached the ending, even though I knew it was a Victoire/Teddy and where it was going, it felt so right. You really built up to their relationship so well and earned that sweet, romantic moment at the end. The love/hate relationship can feel tacked on or overdone sometimes, but I think you tied it into the characters and the story realistically. It worked. Everything you did in this story worked. I may have read it a couple of times it was so good. :) I really really loved it!

Author's Response: Hola hola!

First off, I am very glad that my story surprised you! You are so sweet.

Yes, I have been to Greece (and it's totally as great as the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants makes it look), though I am not from there, so no need whatsoever for awkwardness. Although some people thought I was Greek? Does that count?

Hahaha--that was one of my favorite parts to write. All the humor of the Ministry section. My other published stories are less humorous, or at least less zany, and I loved taking a break to be silly and write this one. I'm always reading at ridiculous hours, so I am well familiar with the don't-wake-the-sleepers laughter, and am delighted to have inspired it :D

Thank you so much for this review! It's like I've received a box of warm, fuzzy, happy feelings. I am so, so glad you enjoyed the story. The smile on my face is huge.

Thank you for making my day!

--Penny



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Review #31, by luvinpadfootThree against the World.: Back to Hogwarts

12th May 2014:
This was a really good start! I like all the characters so far, especially Aimee. She seems really interesting, as do the Potter/Weasley Clan. And Scorpius, mustn't forget him. There's so many of them, but you did a good job of introducing them all. I like the rivalry between Albus/Scorpius and the Gryffindors. I must say, I'm always a sucker for stories that stick Albus in Slytherin.

And speaking of Albus, am I sensing a little crush on Aimee? It's really cute so far and I can't wait to see what else happens! It's always nice to see the Potters and Weasley from an outside eye. Sometimes it lends to better descriptions of their interactions and a little less bias.

Anyway, I really enjoyed the first chapter and it's really good so far! Keep writing! I'm eager to find out what happens next. :D

Author's Response: Thankyou! I'm really fussy when it comes to fanfiction, so I'm trying to make it exactly how I like it, so in turn maybe others will too. That's my plan anyways.
Thanks for all this positive feedback too, it's really motivated me to keep going, and the next chapter will be up asap!
And yes, there might be a chance of Albus having a crush on Aimee! She has a lot of problems of her own to sort out first though. She needs to get her own life/feeling/thoughts straight before her and Al can really kick off. But there's a possibility it could happen.
Anyways, I'd better stop rambling before I tell you the whole storyline!
Thanks again for the lovely review :)


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Review #32, by luvinpadfootMemories : Harry

5th May 2014:
Ah the Princess Bride is one of my favorite movies/books! William Goldman is a fantastic writer and I just had to see what you wrote. It was brilliant! You tied so many quotes in. I just loved them! And it was so impressive how many you used and yet it still made sense. Especially repurposing Inigo's iconic line for Harry. That was brilliant.

The relationship between Ginny and Harry was so sweet. The fairytale elements you worked in tied in beautifully with their story. I could just imagine them as Westley and Buttercup, true love overcoming everything. Not even death can stand in the way of them. ;) (Perfect use of that quote, by the way. I think it was my favorite in the whole piece.)

The part with James was adorable! He's so cute in here, especially the little annoyance with Harry telling the same story over and over. I couldn't help but giggle at him. And Ginny at the end was great characterization on your part. I like that she sided with James over her husband.

Great story! You definitely did all those quotes justice! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review! It really made my day (and no I am not just saying that, it really did!). I am sort of impressed myself by how many quotes I was able to fit in...I was almost worried that I put to many in! I really appreciate the time you put into this review, thank you so much!
~Panda Weasley


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Review #33, by luvinpadfootThe Three Couples: After The War: Mrs Weasley's Children

3rd May 2014:
Aw this is really sweet! I agree, it's pretty fun Harry made his career choice from what a Death Eater told him he'd be good at, but I think the Death Eater was right. All their plans seem realistic for their characters. I like the Harry and Ron aren't going back to school full time, but it works well for Hermione. Is she going to Australia soon to look for her parents? I'm eager to find out!

And oh, Luna and Neville. I was kind of hoping this wouldn't be a canon story and they'd end up together, but ah well. Poor Neville. I suppose you'll bring Hannah in at some point for him. Luna's a bit oblivious to how much he likes her, I think, but I'm glad she's going to Africa and has plans for her own life.

Helpful critique time. You switch tenses a bit between past and present, but that would be an easy fix if you ever wanted to go back and edit. Same with a few typos I noticed. I love the characters, though. They seem really true to their canon selves. :)

Everything's looking up so much! It's nice to see them piece their lives back together after the war. We never really got to see them do that in canon, so it's really sweet to see it here. I wouldn't worry too much about the lack of reviews. I think the average number is something like 1 for every 300 reads. But you could try joining the forums to get reviews there. I'd really like to see you continue this story!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I ship Luna and Neville, and have plans for them. . . ;)

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Review #34, by luvinpadfootShe's Just Broken Glass: I Dont Think Youd Hurt Her

3rd May 2014:
Poor Sammy! I hope things start getting better for it. It looks like they might be with Draco getting so sweet. i love how you're slowly revealing her past and her issues instead of dumping everything all at once. It seems so much more realistic that way.

And Draco is really sweet! I can't believe he stayed down there with her all night. I guess he'll be a bit sweeter now that he knows more about her and her past, but I wonder what Sammy will think when she wakes up. They're so adorable! I can't wait until the story progresses a bit and we get further into their relationship.

Blaise seems like a really good friend to both of them. Honestly, I think he's my favorite character in this story. He's not really the focus, but he seems so real and fantastic. I love every scene that he's in! He just seems like such a chill guy, though I guess the exception to that would be his blood purity prejudice. Still, I'm interested to see where things go with him.

Are the Moores really her parents? I'm assuming they are, but what did they do? It had to be pretty bad if they made the top of the Ministry's most wanted list. Was Draco going to say something about murder? I wonder when Sammy will find out and everything gets revealed. I can't wait!

Still loving this story so much! It's brilliant and can't wait for the next update! :)

Author's Response: This made me smile so much! I've never been a big fan of just dumping all the info on a character into one part either so I made sure to space it out and get to know her like you would a normal person.:)

Draco can be a bit sweet but he's not a big fan of showing that he cares. I know I'd be freaking out if Draco was sleeping on a couch with me! But I'm not Sammy so we'll see how that goes.

I've always loved Blaise! That's how I've always pictured his personality would be like if JK had gone into more detail with him.

Spoilers! I'm not going to give away any ideas on the Moores just yet! I suppose that's kinda mean making you wait on that though. But yes he was going to say murder dun dun duun. I promise you'll find out a little bit more about the Moores, maybe not in the next chapter but soon!

Thank you so much for sticking by me with this story so far! This review definitely made my night! :)


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Review #35, by luvinpadfootIt Is the Colour of Joy: You Smile...

23rd April 2014:
Wow. This story reads like poetry. It really does seem like one long narrative poem. It flows so beautifully through the different parts of their relationship, the courtship, marriage proposal, and finally her pregnancy. It all tied together so nicely with the three challenges. It seemed like an utterly seamless transition and I wouldn't have known it was for so many different challenges if you didn't mention it!

I liked that the tense changed throughout. That seemed natural for the type of story you were writing, but I wasn't sure if the section with the rosebush worked as well in present tense as it maybe would have in past. I liked that the present tense pieces were bookends for the rest of the story and seemed more in the now or something continuous rather than a specific moment in a memory. Just my thoughts, though. :)

Astoria's characterization is so incredibly strong here, even though it's so short and almost a piece of poetry instead of prose. What few words you do use, you use powerfully and every one is crucial to the story. Such a minimalist approach can be really difficult and you pulled it off so well!

I really got a sense of the light red color you were writing about even though you didn't directly describe it as more than just 'light red'. With all the examples and emotions you gave, I didn't need to hear anymore about it.

Reading this story was just lovely and I'm really glad I found it! Every word was enjoyable. Now I just have to go back and read the first one! (In case you were wondering, this works really well as a stand alone piece too.) Good luck on all your challenges! With this piece you'll be sure to blow them away!

Author's Response: Aww! Thank you so much! My actual attempts at poetry are terrible, so I'm always surprised when people say that this story and the companion piece read like poetry. I get all unnecessarily flattered *blushes*

I had so much fun with the tenses. Not only was it a great way to control the word count, but it was just a blast sitting there coming up with a different tense every time. Usually, tenses are the bane of my existence, but for once we were the unlikeliest of allies. And I know what you're talking about with the rosebush section. I wrote that paragraph in both tenses and chose the present simply because it was a better fit for the word count. Lazy writing - 1; me - 0.

Gosh! I'm so happy Astoria comes through. With the other one, it's totally okay because everyone knows Draco, so even if I skip bits and pieces it's not that big of a deal. But with Astoria, she's basically an OC, and so her characterisation had to be a bit more thorough in the same number of words. I'm glad that you felt it worked!

I actually thought I'd overused the colour! Basically, if the thing could be red, it was red! I'm really really happy that wasn't the case, however!

I hope you enjoy the first one as much as you did this! Thank you so much for your lovely review :)


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Review #36, by luvinpadfootA Brand New Year: Welcome Back

23rd April 2014:
Wow that was a pretty shocking start! I really like all the twists with Minerva and Dumbledore and the Heads and May... There's so much going on and it's all so exciting! I forgot to look at the pairings for this, but I'm assuming Dramione will happen at some point? I'm always a sucker for a good Dramione and this looks like it will be one.

I love what you've done with Blaise and Draco! I really enjoy seeing Blaise in fan fiction because he's so left out of the series and you've written his personality wonderfully so far. You've also done a great job with the chemistry between the two friends. Am I sensing a little Blaise/Ginny perhaps? He did make that comment about her hex and call her fiery...

I love your writing style! Even with so much going on it really feels down to earth and realistic. The characters seem like real people and I can't wait to see you develop them more!

Why doesn't May know who Harry is? Is the romance going to happen smoothly or will it get all dramatic? So many questions! Sadly I don't have time to finish reading tonight as it's getting late here, but I'll be back in the next few days to finish what you've got so far. I'm really adoring it! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! This made me so happy :)

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Review #37, by luvinpadfootDo You Believe?: Do You Believe?

23rd April 2014:
Aw this was really bittersweet! You captured Abby's emotions perfectly. Even the scene with the priest felt realistic. I could imagine her going in just for lack of reason not to and finding more answers than she expected. The questions she asked were perfect. I think you definitely portrayed her confusion and sadness well.

I really enjoyed the ending with James! It was so hopeful without pushing her immediately into another relationship. I think after what she'd gone through that was a lovely way to end things. Hopeful, but not immediately happy yet.

Your writing is really strong. I'd love to be helpful and offer some critiques, but I really don't have any. I just adored reading this story and I'm so glad I found it! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for such a lovely review! The whole priest seen was written first, believe it or not. I just based the rest of the story around that scene because I really liked the whole feel of it (if that made any sense?) And I loved the ending with James too! And I tried to not make it seem too forced into a too happy ending because of everything that she has been through :D Thank you so much again, I'm really happy that you enjoyed my story!!
~Aimee xxx


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Review #38, by luvinpadfootImunity: A little bit of introduction

22nd April 2014:
This is a really good start! Honey seems like an interesting character and her mother's just so cruel. I hope she doesn't really mean that she can never come back. Poor Honey. I'm excited to see where the Veritiserum and Albus come in! So eager for more! :)

The spacing is a little funky and long throughout this story, but I'm sure that's an easy fix. It'd also be nice to see a little more description to go with the dialogue. Your dialogue is fantastic, but a little description is always nice!

I really enjoyed every word and hope you might be interested in coming back to finish this. I can't wait to see what you can come up with for this story! From the summary it seemed like a really original idea. :D

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Review #39, by luvinpadfootShe's Just Broken Glass: Who Interrupts Draco Malfoy?

20th April 2014:
I've really enjoyed reading this story! Sammy's so interesting as a character and I think you've written her entrance into the wizarding world really well. I liked how she used the term mudblood because she didn't know any better, that was really good. I wonder how she'll react to other students, if Harry and the rest of the trio will be entering the story at any point.

I can't help but wonder who her parents were. Draco obviously seems to know something or at least suspect. Sammy doesn't seem to care so much though, at least not enough to press Snape further. Hopefully it'll get revealed soon! Or at least hinted at.

Her chemistry with Draco is really great! The sexual tension is nearly palpable. It'll probably take them ages to realize that's why they hate each other so much though, they seem a bit daft. Seems like they'll have to start dealing with each other soon because of Blaise.

I love Blaise's character! He seems like a decent guy who you should automatically like, but then you keep throwing in his prejudices and his casual use of the word mudblood. It really makes it hard to decide if he's a decent guy or a jerk and I adore that. He's not black and white, a more complex character.

Anyway, I'm excited to see where you go with this story! Is Sammy going to adopt the prejudices too? Will she remain friends with Hagrid? It's all so interesting and I love it! Great story! :)

Author's Response: I think you're my new favorite person! I'm actually still debating if the Golden trio will make any appearances in this story or not, but I'm pretty sure they'll pop up as some point. :)

You'll find out soon (at least a little bit) about her parents, though I'm a bit nervous about the whole thing because it is a bit out of the norm for most hp fan fics!

Ah Blaise, I honestly love him so much. I don't really have a lot to go on with his personality, there's only little bits told about him by Rowling so I'm happy you like my take on him! (I was actually a bit worried about people thinking he was out of character)

Anyways I'm in the process writing the next chapter right now. You definitely gave me the inspiration to continue on and finish it! Hopefully you like the next chapter! :)


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Review #40, by luvinpadfootShe's Just Broken Glass: What Are You Gonna Do About It?

20th April 2014:
I'm really liking this story! Sammy seems like such an interesting character, even if I do worry about her a bit. I wonder which House she'll be Sorted into. I'm still a bit curious about her past- why Dumbledore couldn't find her, what caused her to need the flask, etc. Her mother seemed to let her go a little too easily, so I'm sure there's a story there somewhere.

I really like the way she talks! It's so distinctive. I mean, yeah she swears a lot, but it's more than that. It's not the stereotypical sassy either. She just seems like Sammy and that's fantastic. You've developed a great voice for her!

This is Draco/OC so I'm assuming Sammy is the OC? It'll be nice to see her take Draco down a peg or two. Sometimes I think he could really use it. I think you've written him well too. It's fun to see him interact with people he doesn't already hate, like the trio. He's so enjoyably arrogant- I wonder if that'll last long with Sammy around. ;)

I'm really excited to read the rest now! It's a great story so far! :)

Author's Response: I wasn't expecting any response to this story but this really made me smile! :) I don't think you realize how happy (and relieved) I am that you like it so far!

I'm extremely happy you like Sammy too, I've noticed most people don't really like third person but I always thought you get a better view of the whole picture. :)

Yes, Sammy is the OC and Draco will definitely get knocked down a bit I can promise that! ;)

Thanks so much for reading this and I hope you like the rest of the story too! :)


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Review #41, by luvinpadfootBlack Ties: About Bloody Time

19th April 2014:
Yay! I'm flailing so hard over this ending! Everyone's happy and Harriet's with James and Minty's with Shorky and it's all perfect and lovely! I actually had to go spend ten minutes flailing in the corner before I could calm down enough to write this. I don't even know what to say except that yay it was fantastic! I loved every minute and every word!

I definitely wasn't expecting the Elle twist at the end of the last chapter, or Harriet's near death. I mean the girl just got out of the Hospital Wing. She couldn't have even just a week of nice relaxing fun before almost dying again? I guess she can have all the relaxing she needs now with James. Perfect couple. Their chemistry, their banter. Ugh it's sickening and perfect and flail worthy.

Have I mentioned how much I love your writing style? It's not slow. You get to the action and the good parts and don't waste time on silly nonsense that doesn't matter. Every sentence you write has a purpose and I adore that. All the characters play important roles, just everything is flawless and wonderful.

And you're funny too! Gah I spent every other chapter either on the edge of my seat hoping no one was going to die or laughing my bum off. Honestly, it was just hysterical. Your comedy in here is brilliant, especially with Harriet but the others too.

Um my only critiques are stuff I've already mentioned. Small stuff mostly. Grammar, spacing, etc. I dunno, I'm not so helpful with the reviews. I do better at flailing.

I'm half hoping you have a sequel and half hoping you don't because sequel means the likelihood that Harriet will be miserable and nearly die again is rather high. Everything ended so perfectly here that I kinda don't want her to be miserable again, but you know. I dunno if I could resist a sequel. I blame you for the pain you've caused. :p

I love love love this story so much! It's fantastic and amazing and brilliant! You're such a wonderful writer! (sorry for all the review spam today. kinda. not really) :D

Author's Response: *squeels like a piglet* thankyouu so much!! Seriously I think you just inspired me to go and write a sequel. Gosh dang I think I might go do that write now! I had so much fun writing this too, once I had two imperfect but weirdly compatible characters in James and Harriet my imagination went nuts and I just brainstormed plots. Can't wait to do it all again for the sequel. It will be different in style with more perspectives but yeah.. Ah I'm so pumped now. :D

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Review #42, by luvinpadfootBlack Ties: Claustrophobic

19th April 2014:
I'm glad James apologized. He really needed to, though I'm not sure I'm as forgiving as Harriet at the moment. The Map though, I wonder who she's going to see. Intrigue!

I think I'm as confused as they are right now. Is it a ghost? Or someone with the help of a ghost? Or Peeves? And I can't believe Fred just broke up with her! Their relationship didn't last very long, but there's always hope for the future. (Or James. No I haven't given up hope yet.)

Oh my gosh that's awful! Is she a vampire? I'm gobsmacked! (Sorry for the short review, I just really want to move on.)

Author's Response: Ah no your reviews are amazing thankyouu so much you made my week! So exciting to see your enjoying it, it makes me want to write more!!

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Review #43, by luvinpadfootBlack Ties: Wrah Wraoh

19th April 2014:
Yay she found out! This is all so exciting. I wonder how Harry will react. I always kind of like it when Sirius has children. It's like a part of him lives on even though he obviously didn't. Harriet was rather impressive with that riddle too. She figured it out a heck of a lot faster than I did. I hope that just because they're telling people doesn't mean they'll get into any trouble with the stalker. I do keep wondering who it is.

The scene with Tabitha was really sweet! Aw it made me tear up a little. I can't believe she looks up to her big sister so much! I mean I can, but you know. I'm just really glad she told her.

I think you have a little habit of mixing up your and you're, but that's not really a big issue. Just something I noticed. Same with the spacing. It can still get a little funky at times. :)

Wow that was really cruel of James. I get that he's a little jealous or whatever, but still. He could have been a touch nicer to her. That was crossing the line.

Poor Godric! This whole chapter was really sad. Poor Al. Poor everyone. They all need hugs and to be stuck in happier lives with no murderous psychopathic stalkers. Speaking of which, I'm starting to get a little suspicious of Padill. There's something not right with her, I don't think. She just seemed weird. I dunno. I might be making stuff up because I want to know so bad.

I hope Fred doesn't play Harriet, like James said. I know it's a possibility, but she doesn't deserve that. Maybe Fred will prove to be nicer than that. I can hope at least. :)

Author's Response: Ah yes I know exactly what you mean about Sirius. I am currently entertaining a firm denial that his death is canon. And yes with the epiphany! I will never forget reading the chamber of secrets when harry and Ron read the passage about the basilisk and it all comes together. My ten or so year old mind was blown and I was kind of hoping for a similar sort of effect here. There is nothing worse in my opinion then sitting round waiting for a character to figure out something you got three chapters earlier.

Ah yes I love writing the sister scenes. I have a sister myself and although these days we are more like mint and Harriet, tabitha is still quite young meaning Harriet is still 'big sister' rather then just 'sister'. If I do write a sequel I plan to develop that relationship heaps more as Tabitha gets a bit older.

Ee sorry! I really should have paid more attention in year three. I do technically know the difference my brain just refuses to pick it up unless I'm concentrating . I plan on doing a big edit very soon though so I shall fix them up then. As for everything else ~no comment~ ;)



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Review #44, by luvinpadfootBlack Ties: Welcome to Stares-Ville

19th April 2014:
Giving Harriet the boggart was a really Harry thing to do. I can just imagine canon Harry doing that. He's kind of like Lupin in that way, I think. I loved that scene so much. I guess I'm not really surprised that her boggart was her father, but I feel bad for her that James witnessed it. I wonder if that'll come back to haunt her some. After this chapter, I definitely ship her and James. I love them together.

Is Al gay? I can't believe he kissed her! I mean wow that was unexpected. I'm glad you're not doing a romance between them. I think that'd feel a little awkward. That line Harriet said, though. Oh my god. Don't be, Al its no biggy which team you bat for as long as your scoring. That is possibly one of my favorite lines in all of writing. It made me laugh so hard! It's just utter brilliance, really. I adore it!

This chapter was hilarious! I love your writing style. I kept laughing so hard the entire time. Probably not a great thing since everyone here's asleep, but oh well. I didn't see Harriet/Fred coming, though they do have a pretty awesome back and forth going there. I guess I can ship it, though I am still hoping for a little James romance to be thrown in. ;)

Still loving every minute! Can't wait until they do some more discovery with the stalker- and they won't get expelled over the plant, will they?

Author's Response: Yess ah thankyouu! It was so hard to stick to canon with Harry because everyone knows him so well I have to make sure I don't change jkr's wonderful character, and yes I did kind of like the idea of Harry teaching her about boggarts like lupin taught him. It also means a lot more to Harriet as he is kind of her hero in a way her father never was.

Ah! Thankyouu! Yep it was actually an accident at first but when I re-read it I was like 'YES accidental brilliance!'. I think Al is not entirely sure which team he is batting for at the moment but Harriet helps hiim to realise that while it seemed like this big scary secret thing to him, it actually did not so much as make Harriet blink she's just a little surprised but mostly like 'k sweet'. I thought her reaction helped say a bit about her character and personality too. But yes, in the sequel he's gay.

Sque so glad you thought it was funny ! It was really fun to write too!


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Review #45, by luvinpadfootBlack Ties: Sorting It Out

19th April 2014:
You call them eleven two chapters ago, but aren't they fourteen now and in their fourth year? I thought you skipped ahead a couple of chapters back.

Anyway, I love all the ridiculous theories they have! I think I read a fic like that on the site, where Harry is in a mental ward and Hogwarts is really just his hallucination. I like that Mint seems nearly convinced of it, really brilliant! I'm kind of worried about the teachers now. Is it one of them? I assume the note ties into Harriet's family, but how? I'm starting to think Black Ties might relate back to the Black family, but I'm not sure yet...

Wizarding royalty, huh? That's impressive! I can't wait to find out more about her past and who her grandfather is. I'm still thinking Black maybe, even though there are Blackwells too. Is her mother still around? I wonder how she would take the news that they've maybe found her parents, at least one of them. And poor Harriet. I'm glad she's found her friends at Hogwarts and gets to go home with Albus over Christmas break! I'm really excited to see how you write Harry and Ginny. It's always really interesting to see them all grown up in fanfics.

More intrigue with the notes. I'm really adoring this story so far! I can't believe I'm almost half done with it! :)

The spacing is a little off sometimes. Not a big deal, but there are occasionally extra spaces or not enough.

Some more great chapters!

Author's Response: Oh yes, sorry about that, Harriet and her friends were originally actually all eleven the whole way through the story but it got a bit wierd with the stuff they were doing so I re wrote the whole thing. Also, fun fact, it used to all be in first person so if there are random 'I's and 'me's that is why. :/

Oh really? I haven't seen that one I actually got the idea for that one off a 'community' episode.

Also with the Blackwells they are actually on Harry potter wiki as wizarding royalty, so I didn't just completely make it up :)

Thanks for the review!! No spoilers ;)


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Review #46, by luvinpadfootBlack Ties: The Diseptive, Perceptive and Disruptive

19th April 2014:
This got dark really fast. I'm so glad Mint is going to be okay, but that note's got me scared. I remember there was something about Harriet getting a stalker, is this it? I feel so bad for them, though. They're only kids. They should really go to a professor with that note, but I suppose they're all too headstrong for that. Gryffindors, you know. Hopefully nothing else bad will happen, but I'm doubting that a bit.

The last one was probably my favorite chapter so far! You write the action so well and I just love the chapter title. It's perfect!

This chapter was just really sad and I guess a little bittersweet too. You captured the tone perfectly. It felt kind of like an emotional roller coaster, but I think that worked well with what was happening and Harriet's personality. With all this talk about her home life, I can't help but wonder if it's gotten any better. She still has to go home over the summer, right? And how's Tabby doing?

I think after this chapter I kind of ship her with James a bit. Maybe I shouldn't, but they seem to have such wonderful chemistry! I can't wait to see what you've got planned next! I'm really adoring this story! (:

Author's Response: Eeep!! Omy goshh! Thank you so much for the reviews!! Ah yes it does get dark. I often get inspired by the style of what I'm reading and I had just started reading game of thrones when I wrote this so you may understand the effect that had.. 😕 Ah and the title thankyouuu I spent a long time staring at the screen trying to think of something clever 😎 no spoilers 😉 🚢🚢

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Review #47, by luvinpadfootBlack Ties: To The Castle!

19th April 2014:
Back, finally! I really love these last two chapters! There were a few typos here and there and you should always split the paragraph when another person speaks, but other than that I didn't notice anything.

I'm so glad Tabby gets to go to Hogwarts too! Lue seems like a cool guy, even if he's not Hagrid. I guess Hagrid deserved some time off with his kid. Are Rose and the others going to be in this or are you not sticking with the canon next gen? I love it when people mess with the system. Makes the stories more interesting because you never know what to expect.

One thing I noticed is that your characters seem to swear an awful lot for eleven year olds. Perhaps this is just me, but I've never known any kids that young with such foul mouths. You might want to try saving that language for when they get a little older, but that's just a suggestion.

I love the inner narration with the Hat! Why does he think her mind is strangely familiar? Did she have a family member who was magical? Perhaps the strangely absent mother? I'm really excited to find out! I'm also really glad they all got Sorted into the same House.

Can't wait to continue on reading! These chapters were just as awesome as the first! :)

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Review #48, by luvinpadfootDevil's Trickery: Devil's Trickery

18th April 2014:
Hi! Here with that promised review. (:

I've never thought about anything like this in the HP world before which is odd because it kind of makes sense that there'd be other magical creatures. Jinn, demons, what have you. And I think you definitely did the crossroads demon justice.

Anamaria, or whatever her name really is, is ice cold. Just wow. No heart there, though I guess I shouldn't be surprised since she is a demon. I like how almost sassy she is when speaking with James, but during the deal itself and ten years later. I want to call her psychopathic, but can demons even be psychopaths or are they all just like that by nature? Either way, you portrayed her character really well.

What a twist ending. I hadn't even though about James's words until then. Sending his kids to Hell because he made a stupid mistake is just mean. I think I'll be blaming you for all the emotions that gave me. That question at the end from the little girl asking if she was going to Heaven broke my heart in two. Take the father if you have to, but the little girl too?

One thing that I think could improve this would be delving into James's character a little more. I think there's a lot more to him than we can see in this. For example, why was he in Azkaban in the first place? If a little more of who he is could make it into the story, that might make it all the more painful when his life (everything he has) is ripped away at the end.

It was truly a great one-shot though and I'm glad you did well in the challenge! You definitely earned it. Enjoyed every word! (:

Author's Response: Hi!

Heh, to be honest neither did I until I saw the challenge and started to think about all the creatures that might exist but never got mentioned in the books. And thank you -- I don't watch Supernatural, so I was quite concerned about that, so it's great to hear that you felt I did the crossroads demon justice!

I feel like Anamaria manages to survive in Azkaban because she's one of the demons who don't have a soul. She's pathological and manipulative, and it was really fun to write her because she's so unlike any character I've ever tackled before.

If it helps, I felt absolutely awful writing that scene. I deliberated over it for a good few hours, but in the end it felt like the right option. She's a soulless being who leeches off humans, and to have her suddenly feel sorry for a child would have felt unrealistic to me.

That is part of the reason why I withheld information on James' circumstances, too -- to Anamaria, that's irrelevant. That's nothing to do with her little plot to steal everything that James has. I am planning to write a one-shot from James' POV as a companion piece to this one, flipping the POVs so we can see what he was thinking when he made his choice.

Thank you so much for such a lovely review! :)


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Review #49, by luvinpadfootInside: Inside

18th April 2014:
Hi! Here with that promised review. :)

How delightfully obscure! I must admit, I don't think I've ever given more than two thoughts to Broderick Bode. It took me a few minutes to place him at all. Did you pick him or was he assigned? Either way, it made for a really interesting story!

The thing that was in my mind the whole time was how unpleasant he was. I understand that his current situation is not the greatest, but it seemed more than that- like he was just generally an unpleasant person. That really worked for me. His almost arrogance and general distaste for everyone around him felt very realistic for someone working in the Department of Mysteries. His talking (thinking?) down to the hospital staff seemed so true to his character, even though we never really see it in canon. That right there is an impressive accomplishment.

Now, I can't really remember, but how exactly was he unable to communicate? I can't remember what the books said and I was a bit unclear if it was his volume or he was babbling or what. I think that for a character this minor you might want to be a bit more specific if you can be.A fair number of people might not remember exactly what happened from the books.

The ending was really strong! I'm really glad you didn't have him overly suspicious of the plant. That could be a little overplayed, him screaming in his head for them to take it away. A little suspicion was nice, but it worked better coming across as more of a distaste of the gift rather than immediately recognizing it as a murderous thing.

I really enjoyed reading this! It's a lovely look into his head and it all flowed together really well. I may have flailed a bit over the story ending mid sentence, but I supposed we all know how it ends. Wonderful story and glad I had the chance to read it! :)

Author's Response: Hi!

Not everyone's a hero. Not everyone comes close. Bode isn't evil, but he wouldn't be a nice person to spend time with! And at this point he's really frustrated because he's used to being in control. I'm so glad you like the characterisation.

In my version, he had no control over his body - there were other impulses controlling that, probably causing him to babble as well as the teapot thing. But he wasn't able to control that. When he did manage to say anything, it was struggling through an unresponsive body so especially at first only a few words would have come through, then he'd have managed more but they'd have been slurred and mumbled and yes, a volume issue. I'm not sure that really is in the books, and I was taking the book interpretation loosely on this occasion - but good point, thanks.

Thank you so much! I think he didn't recognise it or panic over it because he was too absorbed in his own problems, too busy being grumpy for the hell of it. We do all know how it ends, and at that point his POV kind of became no longer available! :P


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Review #50, by luvinpadfootFeel Again: Feel Again

18th April 2014:
Hi! Here with that review. :)

For starters, I think you kept the story in the moment very well. It's a hard thing to do without confusing the reader or having chunky explanation paragraphs, but you straddled the line really well! I was never lost to the point that it was difficult to keep up, but you showed without telling. It all seemed like a realistic thought process for James.

The only thing that did seem out of place was the line that everyone was against him. Perhaps I missed something, but I didn't notice a reason for that? I understand Slytherin, of course, but not the other two. A brief explanation, even a line, might help clarify that a bit and give it a purpose in the story other than a plot point.

Two parts really stuck out to me. One was the beginning, just wow. Those first four lines were brilliant and instantly drew me in. "There. Right there." Utter brilliance, really. I love that line. It was such a perfect way to start the story.

The other was James's rambling line. "Something cracked and there was pain, unbearable pain, and there were cries and there was falling and fading and toes, and toes, and wiggle your toes, and I cannot." There was just something about it that flowed so well and fit with the story. I think I read that line about three times before continuing on. I can't exactly say why, but something about it is so moving.

I'll admit, the ending made me tear up a bit. It's so sweet and a little bit sappy, but only good sappy. It's such a hopeful end and I just adore it!

This whole story was lovely and wonderful! There was nothing at all awful about it. You definitely earned those extra points. :)

Author's Response: Hi, hi, hi! Thank you so much for the review! It's so nice to have some feedback on it! I'm always so panicky when posting new fics, and this one in particular was nerve-wracking because of how quickly it had to be written! hehehe This is exactly the type of review I needed - you're fabulous; thank you so much! *hugs*

Phew! Well that's great to hear! I'm pretty inexperienced with this sort of writing, so I'm relieved to hear I handled it alright! I tend to avoid all mystery, too, because of exactly what you said: finding that balance between giving the readers enough so they can follow along, without giving so much away that they know what's happening before you want them to. I was mostly afraid people would get lost, so I'm glad you could follow along! Yay! ^.^

Ah, I see what you mean! I know what I -tried- to do, but it must not have worked how I planned. :-p This paragraph here: "Today was meant to be so simple; just defeat Slytherin and take a heavy lead in both the Quidditch and House Cups. I'd been so certain that we would, too. It had been easy to ignore the fact that all the other Houses were rooting desperately against us, against me, because all that had mattered was guiding my team to victory and taking that comfortable lead." was meant to sort of allude to the fact that the other Houses were against Gryffindor because if they won the game, they would take a hefty lead against the other Houses - so it wasn't so much that they were against James as a person, but his team (though he was the Captain, but I should have written that... I did originally, but it was an awful sentence, so I deleted it, LOL). I can definitely make that clearer in an edit, though! Thank you for pointing it out; I'll work with it as soon as I get the chance! (I can't believe this is the only critique! *dies*)

*squee* Yay! Beginning are so important to me, and I'm just thrilled you like what I did with the opening here!

*double squee* That was actually part of the story I struggled the most with, so this is so wonderful to hear! I knew what needed to be said, but was having trouble saying it, and then finally this line came out! I'm so happy it was worth the extra time I took to sort it out! :-D

Aww, it did? *hugs* That's so wonderful to hear. Other than the section I mentioned above, the ending was the other part I struggled with. I'm really pleased and touched that it moved you, as it was about 2am when I was pulling that part together and was really unsure if it was going to land the way I intended for it to!

YOU are just lovely and wonderful! Gah! Thank you so, so much for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful review; I endlessly appreciate it! *hugs*


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