Reading Reviews From Member: aCCIOcOOLNESS
46 Reviews Found

Review #1, by aCCIOcOOLNESSDelicate: Learning to Live Again

15th April 2008:
"I'll tell you but then i'd have to kill you"
Hahahaha. I don't know why, but that line made my laugh out loud. Keep updating! I pretty much stalk this story now :P

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Review #2, by aCCIOcOOLNESSRedemption: The Exception

6th April 2008:
Oooh! I really love this story so far. It's unlike anything I've read so far, and very fresh. Can't wait for updates!

Author's Response: This means so much to me, thankyou acciocoolness! I've deliberately try to stay away from reading any New Generation Fics so far because I knew I was going to write one myself. So I don't really know what's out there, and I'm glad to know mine's different! Thankyou so much for your review once again!

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Review #3, by aCCIOcOOLNESSDelicate: Chocolate, Cupboards and Memories

1st April 2008:
this is the best Rose/Scorpius fic I've ever read!
I love how it's funny and endearing at the same time.


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Review #4, by aCCIOcOOLNESSStalkers Anonymous: Welcome to the Sisterhood

13th October 2007:
Fangirls of the world unite! :)
(yeah, okay that was kinda lame)

Anyways, I thoroughly enjoyed this story.
I've never read a story like this, and I thought it was hugely original and fabulous in every way.

Can't wait for an update!

Author's Response: Heheh, there's a fangirl in all of us, whether we'd like to admit it or not *winks*.

Yay! That's good to hear.
That's why I decided to write it, it's not going down the route of quiet girl attracts hot guy and they end up together ;). These are strong-willed, full of personality, driven girls who are going after the guy. Original and fabulous, wow, those are great words, thanks fo much!

I'll do my best about the update!
Thank you for the rating!

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Review #5, by aCCIOcOOLNESSBlack Hole: Prologue

15th September 2007:
Awesome first chappie, Carrie
Loved the descriptions and EVERYTHING.
Great work!
Update soon xP


Author's Response:
Aww, thank you, silly ol' banana. (: I'll update soon. *grumbles about her 18734098173984173289472 WIPs.*


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Review #6, by aCCIOcOOLNESSStrange and Beautiful: Better Off

25th June 2007:

that was seriously brilliant.
Sirius is quite the player
or should I say WAS quite the player??
great story!


Author's Response:
Awww, thanks, Anna. *blushes* Ah, yes, that's good ol' Sirius for ya. :)


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Review #7, by aCCIOcOOLNESSYou Look So Good in Blue: You Look So Good in Blue

22nd June 2007:
that was brilliant! It was very well written, haunting and satisfying all at once. Awesome story!

Author's Response: Thank you so much, love!

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Review #8, by aCCIOcOOLNESSBlack, White and All Shades of Grey: Prologue

17th June 2007:
this is really brilliant. Nicely written and completely original idea. Can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Thanks very much for the review! Stay tuned for the next chapter, it'll be up soon! =D

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Review #9, by aCCIOcOOLNESSHis Real Father: Where the stories lay

23rd April 2007:
I can't believe there's only one more chapter because this is such an amazing fic.

I was practically crying at the end when Ron called Fred "Dad." It was so incredible and sad.


P.S. Get well soon!

Author's Response: Aww..! I'm getting so many great reviews! That's so nice of you. Thank you!

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Review #10, by aCCIOcOOLNESSMarch Seventeenth of 1992: "Be Sure to Wear Green Today, Or We'll Send Peeves After You"

22nd April 2007:
I just have to say I love Seamus -a lot. He's one of my favourite characters in the entire Harry Potter series and I think you portrayed him brilliantly.

It was so sweet of the boys to do that for Seamus, and I've never read a fic like this. I thought it was great, especially with Seamus as the main character and not just a person in the background.


Author's Response: Yeah, Seamus is one of my favorite characters as well. Thanks for your review!

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Review #11, by aCCIOcOOLNESSTraitor: Traitor

22nd April 2007:
I thought this was really brilliant. I haven't seen a story that was so thought provoking with such insight into Peter's mind as you have provided with us here. I really thought this was excellent.

Sorry for the short review, but I really have no CC. Fantastic job!

Author's Response: Thank you! I can be a bit overcritical of myself (but who as a writer isn't?) but my beta helped. Thank you for the review and all the kind words!

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Review #12, by aCCIOcOOLNESSMisguided Perspective: Distortion

22nd April 2007:
Ciaoxbella from the forums here, reporting for reviewing duty!
I thought this was short, but brilliant. The language proved that your writing skill is not only mature, but quite advanced as well.

I think that the story is quite abstract, open for interpretation and I like that about it. It's flowy and with meaning especially for such a short piece.

Good job!

Author's Response: I'd just like to start by saying that I love your penname, it cracks me up every time I see it.

But anyway, thanks for prompt review. Yes, I was going for something a bit more abstract (I was feeling pretty philosophical at the time), which also resulted in the "meaning" and openness. Of course, I did write with a specific interpretation in mind, but I like the idea of people coming up with their own as well. And I agree, it does rather flow.

Thanks again!

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Review #13, by aCCIOcOOLNESSHarry Potter and Parents: The Doctors Appointment

21st April 2007:
I think this story has a lot of potential and is a great idea, but I also think it's a tad cliche.

This is a little bit boring so far. The descriptions are quite vague. For example: in the sentence:

Five minutes later the doctor walked back in and sat down. “Okay well the tests seem to be Positive, Mrs. Potter your pregnant!, Congratulations!” She said.

Where did she sit down? How did she sit down? How did she say it? If you just say "she said" it's awfully vague and gives little insight to your story.

So far I think that the story is a bit cold and doesn't connect with the reader very well. I found that this story was generally lacking good sentence structure. Most are short and non descriptive.

Your grammar and spelling are okay, but they aren't exactly good. I think you should get a beta for your story, because it really takes away from the story if you have a lot of spelling mistakes.

Sorry if I'm being harsh. I really think you can improve and good luck for the rest of the story!


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Review #14, by aCCIOcOOLNESSSquee! HeHe!: The Prank

19th April 2007:
I found this story to be very random (but in a good way). This is really good for your first one-shot. I didn't find a lot of critize about, so good job!
the characterizations are great and I'm glad you didn't just focus on one character, so bravo!

Author's Response: thanks. it was supposed to be random, cuz it was a random idea and my bff and i are 100% and completely random! thanks for the review!!


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Review #15, by aCCIOcOOLNESS:

19th April 2007:
To tell you the truth, it was just okay for me. There was a few spelling and grammatical erros in the story.

Also, the story was lacking, to me anyway, in material. There were not a lot of descriptions and not a lot of background on the things going on in the information that not only leave the reader confused, but wanting more.

I think you should putting more adjectives and adverbs in the story. I think the dialogue is a bit stiff and unrealistic.

I suggest getting a beta. They edit your work and are really helpful for various aspects of writing.


Author's Response: I agree with you 100% which is why i am not pursuing the story any longer. I made that decision today. I just do not have time to write anymore and I was never really good at fanfictions. I am better on real life experience. But thanks anyway!

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Review #16, by aCCIOcOOLNESSProtector of the Crown: P R O L O G U E

19th April 2007:
I can't believe there's an actual fanfiction about the Tudors at HPFF. I've never really read "Historical fanfiction" except for you "A Shot in the Dark" (one of your stories, which I thought to be really fantastic as well).

I thought you characterized Elizabeth well and I think very few people would be able to capture the feel and the environment about Tudor England quite like you have. I thought this was absolutely brilliant and I'm really looking forward to reading more.


Author's Response: I think I'm the only person on HPFF that writes Historical FanFiction. Hahaha...I love the genre so much though that I knew I would have to write something in the past and mix history with two obsessions. I figured someone had to mix Tudor England with Harry Potter sometime! Why not me?

Glad you liked it!


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Review #17, by aCCIOcOOLNESSWhen Daddy dosn't Come Home.: When Daddy Dosn't Come Home

18th April 2007:
Hi! Ciaoxbella from the forums with the review you requested.
It was alright. I found that this story had a lot of spelling errors and grammatical errors that takes away from the story a bit.

I also think that you don't really give a chance for the reader to relate and feel the emotions of this story and I know that there are a lot of emotions that come with the loss of someone special. I believe this story was lacking that emotion and I think it could be expanded upon a lot.

I also believe this story is a bit rushed and I think that goes hand in hand with the emotion comment.

I do, however, believe that this story has a lot of potential to be a great story and I encourage you to keep going! 7/10

Author's Response: yea i knew i wasn't going to do that well with this story so i stopped writing and i only was allowed one day on the computer that month so i rushed it but i am actually updating it soon i've just been re-writing it but thanks so much for the review!

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Review #18, by aCCIOcOOLNESSVestri Astrum: Smooth Move

18th April 2007:
Hello! This is ciaoxbella from the forums with the requested review (and I have to say, I'm definietely enjoying reading this story so far).
I don't know if this was intentional, but I think you have a quick-witted, subtle sense of humour that you executed perfectly in this story.

I really liked the line: I was finally relieved of my mental misery when James took his arm away from me and my friend Alina Cudney entered the compartment. I liked how you didn't just say "I was relieved", but made it a little comical and more descriptive.

Fantastic job! 10/10

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you so much for taking the time to review this!

YAY! That's amazing, because my parents have no sense of humour whatsoever. And nor do my friends. I wonder where I got it from...

Thanks! I thought if I just said, "I was relieved," it would be too boring and TOO to the point.

Thanks again! I'm so excited now! Really, thank you!

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Review #19, by aCCIOcOOLNESSFidelity: Things Are Heating Up

18th April 2007:
Great chapter! I loved the descriptions. For example, this one:

“That’s fine, babe,” he answered with a small smile. He must have seen her disconcertion at his dispassion, because he quickly pulled her into a slight hug and kissed her temple. “I’m game for anything, as long as it’s with you.” Lily couldn’t stop the faint blush that rose up into her cheeks. Frank always had that affect on her…his Irish charm and quaint manners could charm a nun.

I liked how instead of something like, "Lily blushed," you said "Lily couldn't stop the faint blush that rose into her cheeks." That was excellent and the rest of that paragraph too was very well written.

No CC for this one. I look forward to reading and reviewing more!

Author's Response: Thank you! Now a faint blush is rising up into my Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #20, by aCCIOcOOLNESSIt's Not Over: Childhood Years

18th April 2007:
I think this is fantastic! The descriptions are great and I think you are very good at letting the readers relate to your character (I love her name by the way!)

I also think you're very good at closing your chapters with one sentence and leaves an impact on the reader.

Great job! 10/10

Author's Response: Thanks, I like the name, too. Thanks thanks thanks

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Review #21, by aCCIOcOOLNESSIt's Not Over: Prologue

18th April 2007:
Hey! This is ciaoxbella from the forums.
This is a short prologue, which is what prologues are supposed to be and I have to say you've done a really good job on it. I like the first person description and I think you've done a good job of grabbing the reader's attention and I'm looking forward to reading more chapters, so good job!

Author's Response: thanks!

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Review #22, by aCCIOcOOLNESSHidden Memories- Year 4: Quidditch World Cup

18th April 2007:
Hi! This is ciaoxbella from the forums.
I think this story has a lot of potential, and is off to a great start. Only a couple of things that I could point out. First, I don't think it was descriptive enough. Yes, there are a lot of actions, but I think you want to get the reader more involved with the story and I think a lot of your sentences are kind of choppy and short.

For example:

She saw an owl. It wasn’t any ordinary owl, it was Cedric’s owl. sounds choppy and short and I think "She saw an owl" could be expanded upon a lot. What colour was it? How big was it?

Your grammar and spelling is pretty good, a few errors here and there, but otherwise it's good.

Overall good start and I look forward to reading the rest of the story!

Author's Response: thanks for reading and reviewing... and i will definitely make it more descriptive from now on.... i am trying as hard as i can as this is my first fanfic.

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Review #23, by aCCIOcOOLNESSFidelity: A Disturbance in the Force

18th April 2007:
Hello! This is ciaoxbella from the forums!

I think this was a great start so far. I've never read a story including Alice and Frank at school, and this is very original, I think.

Just a few little things...
In this little paragraph:

“I know,” she reassured with a smile and small kiss on the lips.

I think it should be "I know," she reassured him with a smile and a small kiss on the lips.

"She screamed playfully, and took off. Frank continued to chase her." maybe it's just because I haven't gotten a lot of sleep lately, but I'm not sure I can see a scream being playful. I suggest maybe changing the verb. Maybe yelped? (okay, that was the best I could come up with at the moment. Sorry x)

Overall, this is a great, interesting story that's also not your typical James/Lily, I think. The characterization is also spot on. Great job!

Author's Response: Good catch on the typo! And the screamed playfully issue...maybe I'll change it to squeal. That can be playful right? Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #24, by aCCIOcOOLNESSThe Sorting of Luna Lovegood: The Sorting of Luna Lovegood

12th April 2007:
This was hilarious! I always wondered to myself "How on Earth did Luna Lovegood get sorted into Ravenclaw?" Comical and very imaginative

Author's Response: Gracias. ^.^

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Review #25, by aCCIOcOOLNESSI Fancy Oliver Wood: I Fancy Oliver Wood

12th April 2007:
Excellent story! I lurrve Oliver/Katie and this one was really sweet and fantastic!


Author's Response: Thanks very much! I lurrve them as well! ♥

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