Original story for the HP universe. Anything with Dudley having to lose weight is bound to be funny, but having him try to become a semi-decent human being is priceless. I've read other stories where Snape and Petunia know each other but her infatuation was truly worth reading. The diet potion and Vernon's side-effects was disgusting but HILARIOUS!! And I really liked Snape showing a human side while still being the intimidating, manipulative and evil Potion's Master we've all come to know and love.
It's probably in Harry's best interests that he didn't get any pictures of Snape - Voldemort would be the least of his worries as the Dark Lord doesn't have access to the Hogwarts dorms or kitchen; Snape does.
I really got into the story and almost didn't read it because it is listed as WIP and hasn't been updated for nearly 2-years. But I'm glad to see it is finished except for an epilogue or possibly a sequel. Either way I want to know if the two cousins will continue a civil relationship, especially in light of how the books ended. Report Review
First let me say I like the story. But I have found a problem with this chapter. CDs, DVDs, plasma TV, Ben Affleck, etc. Rowling's info has Harry either born in 1981 or losing his parents, I can't remember which. Either way the Marauders were at Hogwarts in the seventies, probably class of 78. This is well before the music, movies and electronics you mention. Think vinyl records and disco. Other than that great story so far.Author's Response: I know, and it took my quite a long time to decide whether to write my story correctly or just to modify it to the present and well I just liked it better with all the modern technology.
But I know what you mean, I usually notice it too, when I read stories of others, if there are impossible things mentioned, but well I just couldn't controle myself!! =D
Don't think I'm stupid! I'm fully aware of the fact that my story isn't correct! I just hope it doesn't stop you from reading it though!! Report Review
Normally I don’t even consider reviewing a story until at least chapter five, however I will make an exception since no one else has. The crossover is unusual but creative. The pairings are slightly scary but I can handle slash. The plot is not original—evil family member dies and still tortures family from the grave—but has room to be told your way and maybe the characters will inspire something great. I’ll reserve judgement for now.
The grammar is okay but run the spell check again. I’m sure I missed some because I automatically mentally correct a sentence when I see errors, unless it distracts me from my reading to decipher it. The chapters are smooth considering there are two writers. Keep the chapters coming. One thing that irked me and I don’t know why as it really isn’t important. At the funeral, Snape’s hair; ‘almost touching his shoulders but missing by at least a few inches.’ Choose one as a few inches would make it chin length. Report Review
Wow! What a cold blooded deal even if it is for a noble cause.Author's Response: It is a rough trade. Ginny really loves her momma. Report Review
I like the story and am glad they finally realize their misunderstanding. That said when are you going to update? Report Review
I was searching through my favorites for a story that had been updated and found this one. I started over from the beginning and remembered how much I enjoyed it. I like the switch between the actual events and the journal entries. I'm surprised that Hermione took so long to realize that she is the only person on his list. I was happy to see Harry finally get up the nerve to tell her how he felt and the progression of their relationship. I'm glad the war wasn't drawn out and hope that Harry's injuries and Hermione's guilt don't destroy them. Post soon! Report Review
I happened upon this story and couldn't stop reading. I have it saved here an on two other sites. I didn't start reading until it was completed so I was able to read it straight through instead of being shocked with cliffhangers.
I found it to be original. I watched as Ron and Hermione finally admitted their feelings and didn't find their reactions to be unusual. They had a great deal of trauma that made them realize what could have happened, what they could have missed out on. Hermione had reasonable reactions to what she experienced: nightmares and a determination to never let it happen again, to save those she loves. Everyone was as expected: guilt from Harry, helpless rage and protectiveness from Ron, obsessive mothering from Mrs. Weasley. Many of these characters haven't been explored to this extent in the books because they haven't been faced with these situations. They have been fleshed out accordingly.
I was happy to see an original solution to the problem. Protect each other by bonding themselves together. They had to decide if they had the commitment to pull it off and eventually face the consequences from their friends who would easily be overwhelmed by the negative connotations associated with their choice. I couldn't believe you killed a major character even temporarily; but was more annoyed at Rowling who did it for real! I was happy to see that the plan worked even though you had me worried about the twins after the Hogsmeade/Shrieking Shack incident. I was pleased to see both Ron and Hermione stand up to Mrs. Weasley--Dumbledore, Snape, Charlie, Bill, etc.-- about their relationship.
A previous reviewer complained about merging your story with the sixth book. Many seconded that review. I didn't have a problem with it. I didn't think it interrupted the flow of your story or stopped your originality. Your story focused on Ron and Hermione and their bonding, its effects on their relationship and other characters. Your story had key incidents that advanced the plot for them and other characters as you presumably planned. When you did merge it seemed natural as you mentioned things that didn't distract from your own story.
I was sorry to read that you'd planned to wrap the story around the holidays, I was hoping for a full year. I do want a sequel especially now that the last book is out. Don't let a few complaints stop your muse. If nothing else do a few more outtakes that focus on their bond in conjunction with book seven as well as day-to-day life. Do others acknowledge their relationship, how did their classmates take the news? A side bit about Harry/Ginny/Parvati wouldn't hurt. How did this affect the hunt, continued situations with deatheaters and Voldemorts plans, deaths of characters, and other things I won't mention and spoil the seventh book for anyone who hasn't read it. Please let us know!!! Report Review
Just so you know, the outtake 'Under Cover of Night' is not currently listed on Checkmated.com. Good chapter anyway. Report Review
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