I like it! I do see the flaw, and how I love them. :) You write passion well my dear, I always glaze over it because I'm afraid. I like that beginning - their dry interaction. It seemed very fitting for ex-lovers. I love the emotion in this piece - the agony, the passion, the love, the hate it's such an array. You do an amazing job relaying feeling - it's a gift. Excellent work. Report Review
Though, of coures, I love the closing here I think my favorite part in this series was '1 Minute Left'...it was like that moment just before you find out what's going to happen that you hold your breath. And this is the release, the smile...the 'happily ever after'. (Mind you, the SO deserved 'happily ever after') I read this part last, which surprisingly was understandable and very strong without having read the other pieces. Of course I think it fits so perfectly with the other pieces but this was still a brilliant little breath of fresh air. I love it! What a very pleasant little series of one-shots! Good job!! :)Author's Response: I enjoyed writing "1 Minute Left" the most out of all of these actually. I was wondering if it would be understandable without reading the other pieces because these are a series of one-shots so you should be able to understand each individually also. Since you say it was I am no longer worried. I am happy to know that you enjoyed the series. Hopefully you will keep reading my stories in the future and we will not have any more misunderstandings. ;-) Thanks as always for all of your reviews. Report Review
"Well, I guess if the smartest witch of her age wouldn't understand then no one would ever expect me to would they." Sarcasm was thick in my every word. AW :( So very Ron there!! I love it. I could just hug him. I love the way you toy with Ron/Hermione/Draco. It's so fun to mess with them. BTW, your first person is also very strong. Coupled with your one-shot makes for a very potent effect. Awesome job!! :)Author's Response: Ron/Hermione/Draco is a very fun love triangle to play with. Hermione/Draco is fun to toy with in and of itself but I enjoy love triangles.
Thank you for thinking that my first person couple with one-shot is potent. However, I find Ron the easiest PoV to get across especially in one-shot form so I am unsure if I would be able to pull off such potency with another character. Thanks again for the lovely review. Report Review
You nailed the characters. Characterizations are so important to me and I think you did a great job there. Poor Hermione. I feel like she was sorta trapped and made the best of what she had but was never living to her fullest - and she only sees that now. I so love Ron/Hermione and to see the agony that they are going through makes it real. Poor Ron, though he's grown up in this piece I still see that he has that ever present Ron-mentality that is 'I'm subpar'. Awesome work. You're craft is strong in one-shot form. :)Author's Response: I know how important characterizations are to you. You have and probably always will be a character person which makes the fact that you believe I nailed the characters the best thing you could have ever told me. As for Hermione being trapped that is exactly what it was supposed to be like so I am glad I was able to convey that well.
If Ron did not have the mentality of feeling subpar he would no longer truly be Ron. I am pleased to hear you believe my work to be strong in one-shot form. I will have to continue to write one-shots and stop forcing myself to try multi chaptered fics. As always thanks for the review. Report Review
Guess what I did today?! I read this little masterpiece...and cried. I'm such a weenie, I cried! You are a brilliant author! I'm so glad I came to SAYS, I never would have found your works either! Remember how I told you I print the stories out? Well I did that with this one, so I didn't have the banner and as I read I didn't know who the couple was that had the loss! It made the story so powerful when I got to the end! I thought it might be Harry all along... /SOB but it wasn't...it was my little Remus. /WAIL Any story that can move one so much has to be amazing - and this one really is! So sad! But so amazingly so! Your gift of writing is awesome, you have a skill for painting with your words. I could envision each little part - gost it was just so good. And the song, what a powerful use throughout. I think my favorite part was the mention of him leaving her things and him going through the house...like when he touched her pajamas and then the little memory after. My lip is quivering even now. Just brillaint! BRILLIANT!
Awesome work, write more! *HUGGLES*Author's Response: Oh Joela *blushes* thank you so much for reading my story and reviewing. This was my first song-fic and I was terrified of posting the story. If it makes you feel any better I was crying while I was writing the story. I'm actually glad that you didn't know who the couple was, it makes the ending even more emotional. You are much to kind with your lovely compliments, thank you! I'm so pleased that you like my descriptions, I've always felt like they are my weakness. I love writing memories, so I'm glad that this one pleased you! Thanks again for this lovely review, it means the world to me. *huggle attack* Report Review
If there is one thing Poppy is – it’s a concerned nurse about her treatment; and though in her later years stern I think you captured her nature and meaning right in the beginning with her conviction to care for her patients as best she could. This is the reason I could never be in the medical world. I would become too attached and we all know where that would lead. Man did you ever capture that fleeting and powerful feeling of confused romance! Yes Matt – you tackled it head on and came up victorious. What I have learned is that even though we can repress it there is always a hopeless romantic in ever female alive – we want to feel all of this “…Remorse, love, heartbreak, amorous affairs, particularly engaging conversations.” it makes us feel alive. I must admit I am beginning to worry a bit for Poppy – she seems to be coming quite attached to Redmond…and that could be dangerous for her emotionally. Please do update soon, thank you for sharing it, this is a wonderful story! ~MandyAuthor's Response: Ah Mandy, yes! You are firstly a woman, and so you understand the complexities in this maze of emotions; however, as an author secondly, you definitely can appreciate the interweaving of the female element into the context of the romance. Poppy's character is developed quite flimsically, as one would perhaps mold a dirty and undone piece of clay to render a still messy and disorganized semi-sculpture. I loved the lines you mentioned so much I felt I had to highlight them; something in their literal meaning required me to shine more light on them. I am afraid for Poppy as well, but it is her destiny to choose (I have decided to allow the course of events to flow subconsciously through me and into this piece). Whether or not they fall in love is a different matter, and perhaps that is a story for another story, but the immediate interactions between Poppy and Redmond need to be studied and reviewed very carefully. Well, Poppy is off to visit him in Chapter 3, so I do hope you will stay tuned!! Thank you so much for your magnificent review!!! Matt
(P.S. This is, however, where Poppy's character is mostly defined as a nurturing and maturing adult. I believe it can be assumed that she is represented, in a way, by her own beliefs). Report Review
I don’t imagine you’d mind me calling you brilliant, would you? I think your work is spectacular. You’re description is refreshing Matt, so few use it their advantage diving head first into some material they can’t handle – but not you, you are a master at this. I must admit I’m taken (as Poppy is) with Redmond. The wisdom of age is nice to see and you wield it well. I did notice that the question wasn’t completely answered but I figured you had a plan…I knew you wouldn’t leave it open unintentionally. I really like what you’ve done with Poppy as well, I never really considered her as a character to be reviewed but this proves that I was wrong. I am interested in the relationship developing between her and the Alastair. I think you’re doing a phenomenal job addressing their remote infatuation with one another – it’s quite fitting and fun to read. As always Matt – beautiful work, but I expect no less from you now. ~MandyAuthor's Response: No, *blush* Mandy, I wouldn't mind at all!! =)) I cannot thank you enough for your splendidly kind words!! I am positively beaming every time I read one of your reviews!!! I do love to toy around a little with the idea of maturity (in Redmond) vs. fertility (in Alastair) that our protagonist, Poppy, is attracted to. I shall address the second part of the question in chapter four (next update...) I am so appreciative of your words, Mandy, and I cannot wait to see what you write about the next chapter. I'm always aiming to please, Matt Report Review
There aren’t words to describe my reaction to this story. I’m not a shipper and when I recognize relationships in the HP world they are always the ones JK develops. And however I’ve never been a fan of Ginny Weasley I am moved by your use of her. It wasn’t about the shell of a character we see when she moves about on the marionette strings that are attached to JK’s pen, oh no, this was about a real character who feel and lives and touches people. I must also add that I’m a sucker for the ocean, in all it’s forms and ways…so I could be Ginny standing at the edge watching the waves of never-ending-less fantasy crash against that which is real. *sigh* You captured that on a level I’ve never been able to express, so even without the other amazing things happening on an emotional level I’m connected to this piece. It’s raw and without meaning, and you have it – you tamed it, you even described it!
Please let me linger on this: It was the visage of a man who, by all the laws of Nature, could not muster the bare and essential qualities of fruitful love, and yet, the passion with which he now greeted his adorned wife, would mislead even the most conceited of fools ... Brilliant description. Matt! You summed up a huge potion of what makes Harry – Harry (from his childhood through his maturing years) in one bold statement…it’s amazing. I’ve always wondered how Harry would be able to express something he never received.
With this line I had to pause and gather my strength: ‘What have we done to reach this point, and where must we go from here?’ To anyone who’s been in love there is always moment where you wonder – how did it all come to his. For this couple on a much grander level then the rest of us just trying to keep our heads above water and have fun while trying to fight life. There is a moment in a relationship where one wonders, how did this happen – and if they haven’t they aren’t in love or have no meaning or reason for where they are going…that is no sense of self awareness. With this one light you struck a very sensitive and raw area of my personal being and I had to keep from honestly tearing up by getting wrapped up in these character and their feelings.
And finally this: Wishing no longer to ponder these things, she averted her eyesight to the rippling waves in the distant sea, a place she knew she could always find limitless solace. I don’t think anyone who’s lived and really appreciated it couldn’t accept this very line – of course that is the soul trapped inside of me that isn’t staring at the ocean right now and getting lost in its depths.
This piece is so packed with emotion that it’s more like the length of a full feature film and a couple thousand word one-shot. You’ve encompassed so much of the characters – their feelings – and their lives that this is more the embodiment of their relationship that the JK could have expressed in the whole novel (but I’ve already told you I think you are superior to her). And secretly you make me like Ginny and Harry together. :-) Please, please do not stop writing. ~Mandy
Author's Response: Mandy!! You always read so beautifully into my writing, I am only amazed by your lucidity! Whatever the reasons you have for not arriving at these stories sooner, rest assured I accept your apologies... I am a patient person, one who can wait for the criticism of others!! Thank you, you bring tears to my eyes reading your thoughtful reviews: they are so wonderfully crafted and magnificently open-minded I simply cannot get enough of them!!
Having said that, I am happy you are an ocean lover! I wrote this with the idea of the English sea setting, perhaps of the cliff-and-rock formations of coastal Britain. And though I've never been there myself, I could only imagine the scene as I wrote it down. Yes, I agree that there is something mystically transfixing (both physically and metaphysically) about the sea that Ginny is so drawn to: an element of the deepest nature that spurs the imaginative recesses of her mind to yearn for it. I cannot express it myself, only that I was surprised when I re-read it and thought, "well, that was deep!" *smile* You have brought warmth and a fresher semblance to this small piece I hadn't noticed until now!! Thank you!
I am also blown away that you would consider this timid, oftentimes shy and reserved Ginny Weasley, as a fruitful and well-rounded character to have deserved your keen observation!! I wasn't sure at first how to approach Ginny's important role in this story, but I am overjoyed it worked for you nonetheless!! Personally, (and don't get me wrong), Ginny is not a fav of mine either! I see more into the aged and somewhat "wiser" characters of JKR's anthology (i.e. McGonagall, Dumbledore, Remus, or even Sirius), than I do in the younger wizards and witches that are JKR's "heroes."
I am captured by the inner strength of love, it has been a subject (no, subject is a bad word... it has been a passion) that I solemnly work at everyday of my life. Nothing speaks to me more than understanding what love is, how it can be nurtured and replenished, and most importantly, how to always keep it alive. It's such a hard and abstract idea to think about, but when it comes down to jotting my feelings about it on paper, all the perplexities disappear and I can openly declare what I feel. In essence, that's what writing does for me: it allows me an unblocked passage to describing the emotions of the heart in a much more fluent and concise way. It's suddenly all clear, and for that moment of clarity I can cherish the gift of writing that I seem to possess. But I thank you for pointing that out with such ease of mind. =))
I am flattered and will never stop writing as long as I can continue to receive the support and admiration of writers such as you! You have more than likely brought a smile that's not going to go away for some time!! Thank you so very much!!! Matt Report Review
Matt – Wow…just wow. Would you be surprised if I told you how brilliant I think this is? I doubt it very much, because you must know that this is an amazing piece. Isn’t it funny how real life things inspire us or move us to express ourselves in our various forms of art? I wasn’t surprised to see that this was spawned from a documentary – as I have been subject many-a-time to the same action from the very same source. I think from the moment you begin Poppy’s story you know her, and allow the write to see her…the real her – right form the beginning with the beautiful imagery of the pigeon.
And now you’re dialogue – I want you to explain to me where you’ve learned this skill. How do you get your drive (or your inspiration) for it? It’s so natural and the exchange between Poppy and Redmond Tobias was so real – it added flavor to the story. I really think you’ve captured something here – Madame Pomfrey often goes (sadly) unnoticed. And you say I have a gift for story telling. :-)
Please accept my deepest apologies for not reading this sooner and again I hope you won’t be offended if I take this story right to the ‘Recommend a Story’ on the forum. (I am often guilty of often recommending your stuff, I hope you don’t mind.) I know one particular staff member who adores Poppy, is a nurse, and would very much appreciate what you’ve done here – on a level we can’t understand. As always, brilliant work Matt – I look forward to more…please don’t make us wait. :-) ~Mandy
Author's Response: Mandy, thank you so much for your ever-increasing fountain of inspiration! Although I cannot lie and answer "no" to your question, I still appreciate your words immensely!
I think I totally get what you mean by the ironically funny side of life (and of the events in it) that moves us "to express ourselves in our various forms of art." YES! I think that compliments this idea perfectly! I tried not to rush the imagery of the pigeon, but it appeared to me that I needed it before she arrived to her destination... it was a symbol of the spirituality (of the medical profession) she felt would carry her successfully through to the meeting with the Director. We know from our own experiences how naive that assumption is, but for Poppy, I wanted it to be a way to find beatitude in something fascinatingly different.
I beam at your comments on my dialogue! I try never to stress it, but my only secret is to draw from real conversations had with others. If I think something I've heard is strikingly obscure (like Redmond's peculiar address to Poppy), I'll attempt to write it down. So, I guess it just depends on the randomness of your personal interactions!! And believe me, I'm very random with people! ;-)
And what a shocker it will be to read this story and then the ending to "Dark Wizards"!! I won't say anything, just be ready to keep each story separated!! And to your final comment, I don't mind at all! Actually, I can't thank you enough: you allow others to read my work and review so that I may improve as a writer! I can only offer my greatest gratitude for that!! I'll get right onto writing more of this!! Matt Report Review
Matt – Again I’m awestruck. This is such a delicious piece. Your writing is just stunning and it is my new mission (endeavor if you will) to get this piece read, recognized and reviewed – as it rightly deserves. You do brilliant work with Curtis; I’m amazed by him. You have done a beautiful job developing this character. I like where he sits with his alignment; it makes the story absorbing. He’s shadowy and I like his quizzical nature. He sucks you into the already amazing ability you have to story tell. Sadly, this site is driven by younger readers who don’t understand the nuances and subtleties that make a strong plot important. I hold to my claim that you are superior writer to JK and certainly are professional quality. Many tease and poke at fan fic writers; however there is an art in it that is more complex than original work when you are careful enough to use the characters in such a way that they were designed by the original creator. You have that ability, that special skill – I saw it in Minerva and now (even more in Dumbledore). Dumbledore is a very complex and challenging character; you have captured his quiet and gentle mystic…whatever it is (in this case I believe the Force is to blame for his immense knowledge) that makes him mysterious and so very wise. Now, to you application of the Force in this genre: I’m speechless. I can’t express how amazingly it fits and is described in your awesome use of description. The Sorting Hat explanation was just perfect; and, for me at least, it made absolute sense. As it stands, I can’t wait to read more and it’s likely that I’ll poke and prod you for it because this is (I can’t say it enough) the best Harry Potter fanfiction story I’ve read. I bow to you sir. ~MandyAuthor's Response: Mandy, I do immensely enjoy reading your reviews when they are so collected and well-rounded: I always come away beaming at my computer screen, thinking, "Here is someone who understands what it takes to be a writer!" You have so nicely captured for me (and everyone who will wish to read this story) the essential, underlying basis for this piece of fiction: that, below the surface of the writing, there exists a hidden art, and it takes the well-tuned eye to keenly and respectfully observe it. You've realized after only four chapters that what lies beneath, is in fact the life and soul of this story: that moving, stirring, and all-around reality which is incumbent upon Curtis everyday of his existence. Therefore, I feel it is my duty now to bestow upon you the laurel leaves of sageness and experience: you have once again encompassed everything this story stands for, and for that I thank you. =)) I was especially amused when I read what you said about Dumbledore: he is, perhaps, the oddest, most peculiar man that has ever graced the pages of J.K. Rowling's work. He is that tall, slender, agile, able-minded character who comes alive at the slightest perturbation, however minor in quality! And just like in a Shakespearean tragedy, after the scene in which a main character is killed, I decided I ought to include a minuscule reminder of that lost, comical aspect of the tragedy, and so came upon Dumbledore: after all, he seems to possess an uncanny ability to sneak around the Castle, doesn't he? ;-) I also wish to thank you for mentioning the Sorting Hat, since I wasn't sure whether to use a new and unexplored item in Dumbledore's office (by creating one and thereby occupying much space in subtle description), or whether to go with one most readers would be comfortable with; thus, I chose the Sorting Hat, and as you put it precisely, "it made absolute sense" for me. When I read your words now, I sense them relaxed, the ideas from your mind flowing fluently across the page, and they remind me that I should return to my piece of writing with an open and focused mind. Cheers, Matt Report Review
Matt – Your writing is so poetic, I simply can’t get enough. I’m not sure if you want to hear this or not but your Force bares a resemblance to that of Lucas. I like the way you have applied this universal power to the world; I like the way you manipulate it and ensnare it to the players in this piece. Snape’s villainous was brilliant to see in action. He’s a vile man (some days I hate him, others I adore him…today is a hate day). Curtis’s final draw, when he yields, is so descriptive yet sad – it’s the knowledge that he gives in to it; for nothing good can lay on the other side of that road. I am looking forward to this journey that Curtis is about to go on with as much zeal and vigor as previously (I’m trying to contain my excitement this time and perhaps give you something useful in a review). Please, please say you have more for us to read soon...it’s just brilliant! ~MandyAuthor's Response: Mandy, I must commend your brilliant insight and thank you for pointing that particular out: I am not the author who would wantonly take another idea without giving any support to it, and I'm glad you've realised that. I wanted to take George Lucas’s idea of the "Force" and give it a "spin" by applying it to Magic. Exactly how this will come into play with Curtis will be revealed soon, but I can tell you this much: Curtis will be forced to use Dark Magic to ensnare the minds of others when he is presented with a challenge down the road. Again, I must thank you for peering into my world of writing with such majesty and then so favourably and colourfully reviewing it! I cannot find words for this but to shout in answer, "YES, there will be more...soon" =)) Matt Report Review
Oh Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt!!! I’m bouncing around in my seat with excitement! I’ve never read anything so intriguing! I love it…I hate to not say anything meaningful and sound like a silly fan girl – but at the moment I am. I’m all wild with giddiness. It isn’t common in the HP fanfic world to find something with great characters, mystery, and a solid purposeful plot! This isn’t some ‘every other’ general romance style fic; this is a genuine, full blown, good quality story. You have meaning and amazing mystery. Your story telling is phenomenal, your characterizations are real and tangible, it’s just breathtaking! I want to know what came over Curtis, I want to know what this room is all about, I want to know what exactly happened to McGonagall – Matt, you’ve done it; I’ve never been this interested in and excited about a fan fiction before. Never! You write so amazingly I’m even more beside myself that you find my work even read-worthy. This is insane! I have nothing to compare this amazing work with except professional quality (but on a higher caliber than even JK, more like Weis and Hickman ). You’re brilliant! Simply brilliant! You personify McGonagall perfectly and have the feel of the world so precisely imbued in this work. Curtis is a fantastic character – he’s just so real and believable…I can feel his curiosity, his intrigue, his liveliness, and his confusion. I see you have a chapter three up and I’m bouncing around still to read it – unfortunately its going to have to wait until I get home; I’m off from work now…but don’t you dare think for a moment I’ve given up on this because I’m not kidding or simply saying it – this is the best Harry Potter fan fiction I’ve read, ever. I hope you don’t mind but I’m off to recommend you on the boards. This story deserves to be recognized. ~MandyAuthor's Response: Mandy, I'm ecstatic to see you're continuing to read and value this story: it's going to take some time before I can get it soaring high, though! ;-) Once again, I can only stare amazingly at my computer screen while I read and marvel at your words—it’s almost like the screen is glowing back at me! Thank you very much for saying that my "characterizations are real and tangible": it means the world to know my story can be credible despite all the oddities it has. WOW, more caliber than even JK, perhaps like Weis or Hickman?! Mandy, this is truly heart-touching ... I have NEVER received such magnificent and resplendent words for anything ... Absolutely a wonderful surprise to see a favourite author of mine coming away with descriptions like these ... never in a million years would I have expected it ...
You've also wonderfully pictured the internal conflict of Curtis as he wields through unchartered territory to discover a frightening world of shadowy powers and devilish ensnarements: he is the first character I've ever created with whom I've wanted to divide many of my darker secrets, with whom I would openly and unabashedly describe my troubles with the World, with Politics, and our damned Foreign Affairs. There is so much suffering in Curtis's life, yet that pain has not quite manifested itself. He feels the anger and the need to fight back somehow, to empower all his reckless behaviour and brute personality with this newly found "Force.” Yet, Curtis Channey wasn't always that mean, debased, and seething individual, and for these reasons, I sincerely feel this is the story of a person who is like everyone else you've met in your lifetime, of the great friend who never exposed his or her dark past...until now.
Mandy, your words are both generous and thought-provoking, and I know that, with some luck, I'll be able to make this story go in a good direction... just don't expect 37 chapters, okay ;-)) I am also speechless that you would recommend this on the Forums, I didn't think my writing would warrant such attention! You're an amazing person, Thank you, Matt Report Review
Matt! Not only can you woo with words in reviews but in her sister version the story. I’m delighted to see that you’ve posted a piece here! Your form and verbiage is so eloquently flawless it flows like a smooth river and I can’t even being to express in words its beauty. You are a master of decoration, description and dialog. I envy those who write conversation with such grace; I must work so diligently at this trait that seems to come so easily to you. Your dialog is extremely expressive – so much so that I can feel it; and feeling (to me) is what makes a great story superb. You have done that here. I must say, what and interesting can of proverbial worms this can turn out to be – it’s so unique and intriguing…this ‘Force’. I have a feeling it’s cleverly woven and as mysteriously intense as you make it sound (and like Curtis) I’m looking forward to hearing more about it. (Maybe I’m a little darker inside than I like to admit.) I must admit, you have a knack for character introductions…as you know, I like to think of myself as a character writer…and I see such a well developed individual in Curtis. I like his aloofness yet subtle interested in McGonagall’s story which is present by his questioning in mild curiosity (and intent to continue that questioning). You write amazingly and trap the reader with such perfection in your style…it’s just beautiful…I look forward to jumping into chapter two now. ~MandyAuthor's Response: Mandy, thank you *oh* so very much!! I was blown away by this beautiful review, and I’m incredibly happy to see that you relish this story with as much fervour as I have in writing it: I will certainly aim not to disappoint you in future chapters! (I have already written chapters 4 and 5, but they’re just waiting to be validated.) I simply revel at how you can see so far into this small piece of fiction, since I began writing it with a feeling it might just turn into something better.
The initial dialogue was not planned at all when I wrote the first introductory paragraph, but as a fan of History's colossal volumes, I felt compelled—almost obligated—to delve deeper into the unexplored, and then transform those ideas into written word. The protagonist, Curtis Channey, lives, breathes, and reacts exactly as you've described him: you see, he's a new addition to this strange, bewildering, and yet fantastic Harry Potter world, but something I created in him was so vastly different from every other character, that I knew I was supposed to write it down on paper. I thought to be different, to reflect on the qualities of “the new character,” whilst maintaining that oftentimes eloquent, subtle wickedness of J.K. Rowling's antagonists. Thank you for complimenting me on the idea of the "Force," it was very considerate of you; however, I’m afraid I must pay credit to George Lucas for this one. I thought that by incorporating an older idea into this piece, I could somehow correct the naive belief that the goodness in people is forever invariable—that people can, or will, only do good in their lifetimes. I’m afraid that is *not* human nature, but we must remember another of Lucas’s teachings: that there is always a hope for redemption...
I absolutely cannot express my gratitude enough for such kind words, Mandy, and I know that, with this inspiration to push forwards, I will certainly craft an ending (perhaps tragic, perhaps not), of this deep-thinking, contemplative idea, for *it* is reflected in our everyday lives. I’m quite flattered that you would regard this story—and its characters—with so much spirit and eloquence of words: it would seem that we both share a common purpose for writing!! Thanks again =)) Matt Report Review
Of course I think you do beautiful work; I always have. This is no exception. You write Elle beautifully...you are a character writer - as I like to think of myself as too. :-) I loved the interaction with Elle, Lily and the Marauders. I think you formulated the situation perfectly...you did a beautiful job with Sirius (and James! A character I still have difficulty with). I adore the relationship between Elle and Severus and I look forward to more Remus/Elle interactions. You express the human nature and emotion between characters so perfectly - it's one of your best strengths. I do hope you won't make us wait too long for the next piece. ~JoeAuthor's Response: Jo.. thanks so much for your kind words. Whenever I begin to doubt my ability as a writer, you review and it makes me feel as though somone else shares my vision, which, in my opinion, is the whole point of writing. I was terrified to write this flashback, but it just sort of poured out of me. I had been playing it out in my head for quite sometime, so this was one of those non-stop writing chapters. I'm honoured that you'd even compare yourself to me since you have always been what I aspire to become as a writer. Thanks again..=)
Mags Report Review
Great beginning. I love the anxiety of it; I remember those feelings when I graduated from high school - it's very real. I like that about it. There is nothing like being on that precipice of being an adult and going out into the real world, leaving that sense of security behind. Poor Oliver, so uncertain of what he wants but knowing that he wants something. I look forward to reading more. :-) Report Review
Another brilliant chapter! You just write so beautifully! I found this quite amusing - "Lord-Slayer". Poor Harry, what a description...none the less it was clever and made me smile. You do wonderful with a whole group of OC's, I just love it. The animosity between these two strong personalities is wonderful (Lydia and Daphne). Again, I look forward to the next chapter, however I'm afraid it will have to wait until tomorrow...but again - beautiful work! Report Review
Wow, you have a heck of a way with words. This was quite possibly the smoothest writing I’ve read in a long time. You had the most tasteful passion moments I’ve ever seen and so beautifully worded. I just can’t get over your word use and how harmonious it all flows together. I have to say I simply adored the way you have the Muggle community and the Magical community so close with one another in the United States; that is a trick I often use when writing about magic in the States – I love it. I especially like the cause for their uniforms to so closely mirror that of Catholic school…makes perfect sense. Daphne is a beautiful OC, well rounded and liked. I’m a fan of OCs, though I don’t often find ones I like as much as yours – she was very real. Her relationship with her mother was spectacularly portrayed, I could feel it. I could feel everything in your writing though…it was just beautiful. I look forward to the next chapter. Kudos for a wonderfully written first chapter. ~MandyAuthor's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it enough to keep reading. I really enjoyed your story as well! Such a complimentary review just made my day! I am blushing! Thanks! Report Review
Okay, I'm without words...agian. You have a habit of doing that with your writing. Two lines got me, the second I almost cried at. "...probably thought he was just some drunkard: a misconception he dealt with often. Being an avid Lupin fan I found this so fitting and believable of the way people would mistake him. For thinking those who like to write him insane (a title I take willingly :-) you portray him amazingly! And this *sob* "For the first time in his life, he’s not thinking of what could have been." I love it! It fit so well with the song, it was beautiful. I just love Remus and Tonks...so lovely, so brilliant, so fantastic! Just amazing! Great work...great work! I'm never disappointed by your stuff.Author's Response: Thanks again, Joela. I've always felt a real sense of pity for Lupin, he's such a proud and dignified human being but he's so shabby in his appearance that unless you know him, you'd think he was homeless or a drunk. Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
Of course Mags, as always, your writing is exquisite. I love your dialogue and your description. You've got all the canon characters down accurately and (like you) I enjoyed (and was a bit surprised in that good way) the relationship between Elle and Snape. It was refreshing, as anything new and exciting is. I really like Elle, but you shouldn't be surprised I like all your OC's and I really like your 3rd person POV it's very, very good! I do hope you'll update soon! I think Shawna would be proud of your work here, I don't think you give yourself enough credit chick'a - it read beautifully, smoothly, and accurately. Don't make us wait so long for the next update...k? :-)Author's Response: Jo..your words, as always, mean the world to me. Thank you so much for your continued loyalty, it's more appreciated than you know. I'm glad you feel I can hold my own..even without Shawna. It's also makes me happy to hear that you had just as much fun reading my bit about Snape as I did writing it. I hope you won't be dissappointed with where I take this story. Thanks again..=) Report Review
Worth the wait you ask? Yes. Thought that is not a fair assessment for me to make since I read the entirety of this story a few weeks ago; however this piece was fantastic. If you were trying to make us cry, you succeeded. This section was highly emotional and amazingly written! I can’t even put into words how wonderfully accurate you have these characters down; I swear it’s like we’re reading JK’s missing chapters. I adore your Remus and at this line He heard Lupin’s subdued voice drift up, through the quiet, “I didn’t, Harry.” I sincerely felt a lump form in my throat. I have such a soft spot for Remus, he is so dynamically sad that he must be loved by his fans. The discussion between Harry and Remus as exceptionally good and I could just seen Harry feeling all trapped and repressed by the adults around him. These two need each other, they feel the same lost from different perspectives – it’s awesome to read that and you do a great job with it. As you’ve halved this chapter I do hope we won’t have to wait as long for the next piece. :-) I’m left wanting more – and praying that I get it soon. ~Your resident denial girlAuthor's Response: lol...'Your resident denial girl'...You so are in denial :P
I honestly wasn't trying to make anyone cry, just perhaps move people in some way hopefully. People think I only love Remus, but I think Harry is great too, after all, the whole series is about him. I am so glad that you liked the conversation between them, it took me a long time before I was happy with it, its so rewarding to know that somebody liked it and connected with it on some level. Hopefully the wait for the next chapter wont be too long, but it definately won't be as long as six months, I can assure you :) Thanks for your wonderful positive comments, Joela. :) Report Review
I suppose it’s my turn to add to your plethora of reviews here. I, however, understand that they are all here for a reason; to say it plainly this story is nothing short of amazing and breathtaking. You have such a deep feel for the characters it’s uncanny. Dumbledore, I’m not even sure that JK herself could have written him more accurately. It’s so good that I can hardly stand it. Hermione with all her young wisdom is perfectly portrayed yet a little more introspective…I really like seeing that side of Hermione, we are never able to see it in the books. Harry, poor, sweet Harry who never sees what’s just past his glasses…how you got that down to the T – when Dumbledore has to tell him that others are hurting; it tares at your heartstrings. I laughed when Remus asked Tonks what ‘foot’ tastes like! I simply adored how Harry was able to recognize why Tonks was an auror; it’s a side of her we don’t see but we all know is there. And then Remus, our very precious Remus! I can’t even begin to count all the ways you’ve touched home with him and made him so much more tangible and real. The condition he was suffering from and it’s cause, so clever and just amazingly done. You write him so well, so strong, that it’s like it happened and we never saw it in the book. I know I’m tripping all over myself but it’s because I can’t even being to express in words how wonderful this story is. I do hope you won’t wait too long for us to learn what happened to Tonks, if Remus has fully recovered, or any of the other little tidbits you’ve left us with. It’s like a teasing thing that there isn’t more and to quote Wolf from the 10th Kingdom, “It’s like thrusting a steak in front of a starving man!”
~JoelaAuthor's Response: *Dangles steak* hehe, Thank you for such a beautiful and wonderfully worded review :) I got a big swell in my chest when I read what you wrote. I love Dumbledore, I have always loved the Mentor type characters in stories, that are worldly wise, intelligent, dangerous but have a mischievous sense of humour, a few spring to mind (Gandalf, and Mr Miagi from Karate kid) They all have the same type of character, and they teach where they can. I guess perhaps because I see my dad in Dumbledore, perhaps is why I love him so. As for Tonks, there has to be more to her than falling over stuff and pining for Lupin, and I wanted to express that rather than her more accepted appearance. I am pleased that you like Remus :) It's gratifying when another pervy Lupin fancier says I have touched home :) Brings no end of smiles to my face. I have been writing chapter seven for a while now, and every time I go to update, it doesn’t feel right, and I want it to be. And to be wolf before I leave *Takes steak and shows it to the oven* Report Review
Wow! Where to begin? This is very powerful, especially the first person part of it. It really adds flavor. I love the inner turmoil that is itching inside of Remus – it’s so true to form; to character (being an avid Lupin adorer myself). There were too many lines in this that could be quoted to do so; it’s just magnificent. Your writing is smooth and full with the exact amount of description needed to give us a real solid appreciation for what Remus is going through. Constant dichotomy, yet one side give to the other if only for a moment. It was powerful with passion and honesty. Yes, this was beautiful there is no other way to describe your style…just beautiful.Author's Response: I didn't write this in first person originally, but it just didn't feel right from third so I changed it. Dichotomy - I love this word, I was so thrilled to actually be able to use it legitimately. Its emmensly thrilling to recieve praise from a fellow 'Pervy Lupin Fancier' like myself, I'm just really glad that you liked it and felt Remus emotions and feeling were all tangible. Thank you, so much for such a beautiful review :) Report Review
As before here is another wonderful chapter awaiting me. I must admit I adore the way you write each of these characters, their subtle interactions, their thoughs of each other. It's delicate and percise - like JK would have it. Poor Sirius, a second horrible thing to have to come back to in his life, almost everyone he ever loved dead. You keep up the great work and the speedy updates, I must know where this leads us. ~MandyAuthor's Response: Thanks, Mandy. I'm glad you are enjoying it. I'm having a tough time with Draco in this, otherwise a new chapter would already be up. I'm not sure why I have such a struggle writing him but I do. Thanks for the kind words and I hope you stick around for the rest! Report Review
Okay, so this was just as brilliant as the previous chapters. I simply adore how it was the same as if he fell in one side and stepped out of the other. That was perfect, I can just see it in my mind. My goodness you have a way with weaving an intricate story plot. I can't to see where this leads, I do hope you will continue to update as hastily as you have been. Thank you for this wonderful piece!Author's Response: I'm glad that worked out all right...I was afraid I was the only person that could imagine it happening that way. I'm so glad to see I'm not alone in that...it just seems, I don't know...not realistic but well, magical I guess. Like Alice going through the looking glass. I'm trying really hard to make this a fresh and original story...new magical objects, ideas and (obviously) not your ordinary ship. Glad you like it and thanks so much for reading and reviewing! Report Review
You have such a variety of vocabulary it makes your writting so smooth and powerful. That's a word I would associate to this story - powerful. I love it, there is conviction in it. I could see everyone behaving this way in this situation, I really like that. All in all this whole piece just fits - it's all very surreal yet grounded at the same time, just writen beautifully... I simply love this.Author's Response: Oddly, conviction is probably the way I would describe how I approached this story. I've never written Draco and the trio only in passing so when I decided to pursue this plot bunny, I jumped into it with both feet, determined to do my best and just see what would happen. The plot is a bit unrealistic but I have tried hard to "ground" it where it can be believable all the same. I'm glad that so far it is managing to work. Thank you for such kind comments and taking the time to review! Report Review
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