Oh my god. I totally didn't expect that Ophelie was Scorpius' daughter with Dominique! Clever twist. :)
Can't wait to read more and see what happens!Author's Response: Yes, there will be, erm, a lot of twists in this story despite it not being very long, LOL. In my mind, Scorpius always lost a daughter -- only in this story did I establish that that daughter was going to be with Dominique :) Thanks for reviewing!
~Soraya~ Report Review
This is absolutely brilliant. I started reading this when you had posted your first version and loved it. I'm so glad you picked it up again and revamped it! I'm really looking forward to see what happens!
Update soon! :)Author's Response: Awe, thank you so much! I love to hear that you read it then and came back for it now. That means a lot to me. I'm very glad you're enjoying it. :)
I hope to see you back for more! :)
Drue Report Review
Brilliant. I just love how you did it out of order too. :) Report Review
This sounds absolutely amazing!!! I can't wait to see where you take this. Please update as soon as possbile!!! I'm looking forward to reading more. :)Author's Response: Thank you so much! I will be updating this weekend with chapter one, it is already written I just need to make a few changes. I hope you like it! Report Review
That was "aw" worthy. :) So cute! Although, I was expecting a little big bigger of a Ron/Hermione fight concerning the fact Ron found a house without her. Oh well.
Regardless, this was precious!Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyred this. R/Hr fight should have gone down but Hermione was outplayed by the better chess player ;). Thanks again! It made me smile--your review! Report Review
I absolutely love love love this song! And I love Florence + the Machine. :) And ScoRose. Yay Rose and Scorpius!!!
While this was good, I have some criticism. I don't think this song works that well with your story line. It's not horrendous or anything, just incredibly cliche. In fact, it would have probably been better to have made this a "real" songfic, with lyrics showing up every so often. (Usually, I wouldn't even suggest this, since I abhor songfics.) The theme of darkness didn't mesh very well with the story line. But I must say, I liked the whole half-blind theory.
Otherwise, it was quite enjoyable. :) Write on!Author's Response: I know, and you are right. I usually dont write fluff and cliche but I knew that the love concept was going to have to be more heartfelt, so I didn't care if it came out predictable. I started it and half way through I couldn't connect to it anymore, so I sorta quit :/ But I thought I owed it to myself to finish it & post it.
Thanks for the review! Report Review
So clever. I must sat that I am really looking forward to the next chapter.
I just have one question. Is the title a reference to Florence + the Machine's song, "Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)"? Because if it is, I love this story even more. She's my favorite artist of the moment. :)
Anyway, I do hope you update soon! Can't wait to see what happens.Author's Response: I'm glad that you're enjoying the story so far, and yes, the title is a reference to the Florence and the Machine song. :) I was going through a FATM phase and a rough patch when I was trying to name the story. The next chapter is in progress. Thank you for taking the time to read and review! Report Review
I don't really like reading stories in the second person. I have a hard time following the story that way. So I avoid them at all costs. However, it was TedRose, therefore, I had to read it. Obviously. :P
This is not my first time reading "Collisions of the Heart", but I felt I needed to review this time. I had noticed I had favorited it, but I had no idea why. So I read and read and read and got to the last line and then I remembered why I added this to my favorites.
"If you weren’t so wary of rejection you would kiss him right now, even with the whole hospital watching, but it doesn’t matter because he’s not scared and he kisses you anyway."
I am such a romantic at heart, it kills me.
Here I'll get to the good part. :) Despite my dislike for second person, you did a fantastic job. You wrote wonderfully structured sentences and there are a great number of lines that I absolutely loved, but I won't put them in here.
Thank you so much for making me change my mind about second person and letting me get a TedRose fix. Report Review
Bah! I love this. :D It's just so cute.
Scorpius is so...god, what the word? He's too innocent, but at the same time he's so very guilty. Guilty of the lies, but innocent because he's come clean. He's owned up to his misdeeds and isn't trying to "fix" them, since they can't be fixed, but rather moving past them.
I could see your Scorpius right in front of me, flawed and perfect. Wow, I'm just a bunch of contradiction, aren't I? And I don't even know if you understand what I mean. (I sometimes wonder if I even know what I mean.)
Nevertheless, I just wanted to let you know that I loved this story. And I especially loved the lyrics at the bottom. Find Your Love by Drake is currently my favourite song. :)
Thanks so much for writing this. Report Review
That was a tease. After so long, that's all we get?
Just kidding. :) I'm thrilled to see that you're updating. Hopefully the next chapter won't take so long! Can't wait to read more! Report Review
Glee. The quote is from Glee. Do I win? :P
Interesting story, by the way. Can't wait to see where is goes.Author's Response: *sigh* no, you don't win. But you're second! Here's a batch of invisible cookies for you prize:
Anyway, thanks for reading/reviewing and... the end! Report Review
I love how you characterise Rose - she's nothing like her mum. She's crazy and little spacey and undeniably irrational. I can really see a person, and not just a character.
Thanks so much for the fun read!Author's Response: Thank you! Yeah, I sort of totally love her. Haha I definitely didn't intend for her to be so fun, but I just kind of went with it and she turned out great! I'm glad you liked it, thanks again. Report Review
Oh my god. This is absolutely brilliant. I loved reading Agatha Christie's "And Then There Were None" and reading a Harry Potter version makes me love it even more.
To be completely honest, I don't quite remember how it ends, but I sort of do. And I most definitely don't really remember the middle parts, so this a wonderful way to get a bit of a refresher.
Update soon! I can't wait to see what happens next. :)Author's Response: Hello! I'm so glad you like my HP version of And Then There Were None, it is such a great book! So creepy, too. And then end of it is really convoluted, so thats ok if you don't quite remember...I had to look it up! And, i'm glad that you don't, or you might be able to figure it out...kind of...;). I'll try my best to update soon! Report Review
Oh my god. This is hilarious. I just love Dom; she's just crazy and amusing and brilliant. And I, of course, love Lysander and Scorpius and how they have clearly begun plotting something tremendous concerning Dom and Rose.
I can't wait to read more. Please update soon! Report Review
Oh my god. Absolutely BRILLIANT. I loved the whole thing. I actually was brainstorming a similar story (about a girl with a boy's name, though) and I don't think anyone could beat your name-gender confusion tale.
Wonderful. Dominique/Nick is hilarious and that Georgiana/George is like a segway into another one-shot. (If you so choose.)
Anyway, thanks so much for writing this incredibly amusing tale!Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review! I have tossed around the idea of following this up with another Nick/George story, though I doubt it would come anywhere close to the humorous tone of this one-shot. It's definitely something I'll consider, though sometimes it's actually more satisfying leaving it open-ended. :-)
Thank you again! I really appreciate it. Report Review
Please please please update this soon! I cannot wait until to read what happens next.
Love love love this story! Report Review
Oh my goodness. This is absolutely brilliant.
I love Vaira. She is an amazingly realistic character.
Just thought I'd let you know before I move on to the next chapter! :) Report Review
That was cute! Luna is such a fun character and this Draco is very endearing. He doesn't seem so cold and inhuman.
I think our challenge person is going to have some difficulty deciding who is the winner! Anywho, best of luck in the challenge!
Keep writing! Your style is refreshing. :)Author's Response: I am glad that you enjoyed my story. And, judging from your pronoun use, I presume that you to are in the challenge. Well, best of luck to you as well.
Thank you so much for the kind review. Twas *very* appreciated. :) Report Review
Haha! I LOVE this! It's wonderful. It certainly made my day.
Milburga is a hilarious character. Report Review
I must say, this is a very unique interpretation of what can be considered a blossoming relationship between Rose and Scorpius. However, I do have some constructive criticism.
For the most part, your writing and grammar is very good. That's always a good thing. Good grammar can make the worst plots better (although your plot is fairly good, so you don't have to worry). :)
Your character development is somewhat lacking though. Your character Blake out-of-the-blue lashes out at Rose and we don't know anything about his background. That is something that's an easy fix. Since you're writing in third person, you can easily include background information about him, his family, his life. It's easy to see that he is pureblooded by some of his comments, but dialogue isn't always the best way to go to get to know a character. The same goes for Rose and Scorpius. We really want to see who they are, not merely what they say.
Also, the action is a little choppy right from the get-go, and especially when Blake just flies off the handle. This just happens to go along with the action being guided by the dialogue. If you were to move the plot along with imagery and description, it could flow so much better.
Anyway, this is a fairly good start. I know it may seem like a lot of suggestions, but I assure you they will help if you choose to follow them.
Best of luck with the rest!Author's Response: thank you! i found the criticism quite helpful actually. unfortunately, i have abandoned this fic for now and have moved on. "Tests of the Heart" is my new fic, i had a huge inspiration for it so i went with it. i do hope you will check it out Report Review
Oh please please please update! I absolutely love this story. It's unbelievably adorable. And it does help that I love fluffy things and ScoRose pairings. :)
I would really love an update. The suspense is killing me!Author's Response: Thank you so much!
I love fluffy things too! :)
I'm terribly sorry about the wait this time. I've been SO busy I've barely had any free time.
Hopefully I'll get it up before we go into December. :)
Thanks so much for the review and I'll try my hardest to get the next chapter up ASAP. :)
xxx Report Review
I love The Script and I love this Rose/Scorpius pairings and therefore, I love this story!
Wonderful job. Report Review
Omigod! I LOVE SafetySuit! I saw them opening for 3 Doors Down at my first ever concert and they were even better than on the CD, if that's humanly possible! Just wanted to let you know that. :) And that 'Annie' is my tied for my favourite along with 'Apology.'
Anyway, I like Lily/OC stories. I was surprised to see that this was a Lily/Scorpius story. It's very interesting and I can certainly emphathise with Lily. The only thing I would have to say is that Lily seems much too old for her eleven years. But hey, it could be result of her dreams. Who knows. After all, you are the author! :D
Best of luck with the rest of the story. :)Author's Response: It's my favorite song by them too. Lol.
& I wish other people would write Lily/Scorpius stories. For some reason, I'm not a big fan of Rose. Lol..I don't even know why.
Thanks for the criticism, & Lily is definately "wise beyond her years" for a reason =] Report Review
This is quite different. I'm not quite used to reading HP horror stories but I'm quite intrigued to read this one.
This Rose seems like a real person with rational/irrational fears like anyone else. I'm looking forward to see her personal growth as she faces her fears, ten years later, head on.
Please update soon. I can't wait to see what happens next! :) Report Review
Ooh! I got tingles when Scorpius told Rose he loves it when she calls him Scorpius. So cute!
Please update soon. I'm kind of addicted to this story. :P Report Review
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