Hey, if you'd like a banner, I made on for you. Just kind of out of the blue. Anyway, if you want to use it, go for it, if not, that's okay. Check it out at
Hope you like it!
Author's Response: its gorgeous katyjoy_777 thank you soooo much! Report Review
It's sounds good so far. You definitely have talent for writing McGonagall, you've made her sound perfectly like the McGonagall from the book, excellent work! I'm interested to know more about this new character you've introduced. I like the idea of a character who isn't interested in Draco Malfoy. This is going on my favorites!
But by the way, "loose" means like, "loose instead of tight." The word you're looking for is "lose".Author's Response: thanks. im glad you enjoy it so far.
:D Report Review
Hey, I made a banner, if you'd like to use it! Check it out at
Hope you like it!Author's Response: Report Review
Sorry, I keep meaning to review every chapter, but it's hard. I just want to keep reading! The story is progressing well, I think you've done a good job in creating a new character. You really know this character and that is evident in your writing.
I am a bit confused, however, by Harry's actions in this fic. He's faced Voldemort numerous times, giant spiders, a basilisk...and yet he's suddenly afraid of anything that snaps a twig. Harry seems incapable of taking care of himself anymore, which is an odd development because it seemed to happen overnight. He couldn't stand up to the snake, the weird hairy crab thing, or this chimaera. That seems slightly strange to me, because Harry's never been afraid of anything before. I would work on developing that a bit more. Make Harry's mistakes something that he would do, not just anyone. Rowling has made Harry into a character that is very confident and doesn't get scared easily, but here, Harry is tripping up and dropping his wand, and doing stuff that's very out of character.
Anyway, just my thoughts. I hope this is helpful!Author's Response: But see, here's the thing. Harry IS a normal boy. And he is always terrified when he fights people and animals, such as the basilisk. And he is almost always helped by someone... usually Dumbledore. In this story, it happens to be Toby... and he actually helps Toby bring down the chimaera. And he didnt fight the "wierd hairy crab thing," that was only Toby's battle. And Harry tripping up and dropping his wand, just as he dropped the Gryffindor's sword in the second movie, makes for a more suspenseful read. At least I thought... Report Review
It sounds good so far, I like the idea of an already magical entity being infused with even more magical powers.
The name of the character, Toby Parker, which I assume to be a combination of Toby Maguire and Peter Parker, is a bit much, but it doesn't take away from the story.
You do a good job of describing the fight with the wolf. Most people wouldn't have been able to write that action sequence with such elegance and ease. I felt like I was watching a film in my head-I could really see exactly what you were describing, good job!
The wolf is frightening, especially its eyes. I like the fact that I fear the wolf, but I am also interested to know exactly who it was. That is, I'm assuming (again) that it is an animagus.
Anyway, I can't wait to read more, so I'll end this review!Author's Response: LOL. Wow, you are very intuitive. that is... about the names. With the wolf, guess again! With the name, I just really wanted to see who would spot that, good job! As for the character himself, he is based looks and kinda personality wise on the Spider Man character, as Spider Man 2 was my favorite movie at the time that I wrote this. Heh... Report Review
I was surprised, this turned out better than I thought a Severus slash fic would. You have a good writing style, and you're good at telling a long story in a short amount of time, which can be extremely advantageous. All in all, it was good.Author's Response: .wow. I'm glad I surprised you in such a good way that could elicit that kind of a review. Thanks for taking the time to read what you thought would be a lame story! LOL. Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection