Haha Jenn you out did yourself again! This was awesome!! Though it's still not my fave :P Is that the next chappie?
The pimp wa hilarious! but how could she trade Sirius?!? If I pretend to be a pimp can I have him?
And the Christopher Columbus comment! hilarious!!! I want the next chapter please :) *puppy dog eyes*
*huggles* 10/10 as usual!!Author's Response: *mock bows*
Thank you, thank you. First of all I'd like to thank... *ahem* Wrong thing. Sorry.
You can't have him, he's mine! Or at least he is in my dreams.. hehe.
It is the next chapter, which is now viewable to the general population. =] Report Review
Good chapter! a few typos but still good. I love how this stories coming together i like it alot!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you like it. Report Review
Ok a few typos but only little ones. The different P.O.V.'s got a little confusing maybe you should stick to one P.O.V. to make it a bit easier on the reader.
I like this story quite alot, it's not too cliche and i appreciate that! Keep it up!Author's Response: Yeah, I'm already working on that. *blush* Thank you! Report Review
Awh bless little Jamsie, though it seems a little ooc for james asking a teacher for advice on girls. anyways thats just my opinion. there were a few typos and it was a little short. other than that I really think you did a good job!Author's Response: Well, thats ok! You can have your own opinions and I can have mine! ^_^ He could have just talked to Remus, and Remus even says so in the next chap. lol
Thank you! Report Review
I wish the chapters were longer lol I like this story alot, there were a few typos but we're all human! great chapter!Author's Response: thanks! xD Yeah, maybe I need to find a better beta..... Report Review
Good chapter! And I'm glad you gave peter a girlfriend, it makes the plot a little less cliche. keep it up :)Author's Response: Yes! non-cliche is what I aim for! Report Review
haha this is soo cute. I loved the umbrella spell it's a nice little touch. I still wish the chapters were longer. Anyway good job! Author's Response: Thanks. I liked making up the spell. ^_^ Report Review
Hey again :)
You still need a little more discription, I found it hard to visualize the scenery. I loved it though! It made me laugh. Keep up the good work!Author's Response: ok, I'll work on that. Thank you! :) Report Review
I think you did a good job for an opening chapter of a story, though i wish were longer. It's lacking detail though I think you portrayed Sirius, Emily and Lily well. James seems a little ooc, I just can't imagine him getting nervous around Lily, cocky and arrogant yes, but nervous no.
I think you need to balance your dialougye with your discription. all in all a good job, I'm looking forward to reading more. 7/10Author's Response: Well, I guess thats why Lily was so surprised. She couldn't imagine him being nervous either. Or maybe it was an act? hmm... Report Review
Hehe I loved this chapter. Brilliant prank! Is it odd that I want to do that to someone? Gah! you ate Herbert! *cries* he was my favourite after Henry! You Herbert eaterer! *points accussing finger*Yeh so anyways ignore that outburt :P
‘Row row row your boat, merrily down the stream… after revenge on Sirius Black life will be but a dream haha how long did it take to think of this? I know it would take me all day :P
All in all a brilliant chapter, though not my favourite mainly because my fave is coming up soon :p anyways update soon! 10/10 as usual
ps. Jenn I...:P
Author's Response: Ahhh! I didn't eat Herbert, they did! *points fingers at characters*
Lol, I do find that I want to wrap someone to their beds with Plastic Wrap as well... maybe when my brother's asleep... hmmm.
It didn't take long to think of it, it just took longer to get it into beat with the rest of the song, y'know? That way it didn't sound out of place or weird.
LOL! My favorite is coming up soon, too!
...never read a better story in my entire life. :) teehee Report Review
Haha I love this already!! Lils your an awesome writer, absoloutely amazing. *is going to be a dedicated reviewer to this story* gah! I am a terrible person, i totally forgot to review ALLNO whoops, but hey I'm doing your transfig, that can be my punisment :p
haha Rosaline aka Rosalie, Hmmm i wonder where you got that name from. i swear Sirius is almost as good as Edward Cullen! But Edward still wins. I >not a high enough number!!!
Love Jessy/Wonder Wick/cabbage!!! xoxAuthor's Response: EEP! Yay!! I'm glad you like it!! *Grins* Aww thank you!! hehe! Woot woot woot! =P! Im soooo glad you liked it!! And I'm not that good! But thank you soo much for reveiwing! Yup I suppose I will consider that your punishment! Lmao! =P yesh i wonder where? lol! I would have to admit that I think Edward wins too! *waves edward flag* Well I shall get right on writing the next chappie! Danke! =D! Love Lils/Super Fang/Parsnip!!! Xoxo Report Review
OMG Jenn this is amazing. You made me cry! Twice! *is jealous of your writing abilities* Seriously though Jenn you have a real talent. It's so beautiful and moving. I think you captured the romance between the two really well.
10/10Author's Response: hahha, I'm just good like that. You know that it's for you right.. I forgot to add that *runs off to add it* I'm glad that you liked it! Thanks for leaving a review even though you'd already read it before! Report Review
hahahahahahahahaha I Author's Response: :D
~LB Report Review
Ok again you need discription for isnstamce you refer to the death eaters as just that death eaters. You could discribe what they look like,
(example) A death eater with shaggy dark hair and piercing grey eyes ran out in front of me, I could tell my just looking at the detirmination in his eyes that he meant business.
Do you see where I'm coming from? I'm sorry if I'm being a little harsh. I think you have the potential to be a good writer. This could be a great story :)Author's Response: I am going to rewrite it probably. It was an on the spot chapter for a contest on Hogwarts Experience. I am also working on the future chapters. Report Review
Ok again I think you need a Beta. It's just the lack of discription, it's causing the story not to floe. You have the basic story you gotta put the flesh on the bones if you get what I mean. It just seems to be moving too quickAuthor's Response: Ok, I have one. By the way you spelled flow wrong. Report Review
This still isn't flowing well, though you have used a little more discription. I think a Beta would help you loads :) Report Review
Ok this isn't my usual kind of fic. This could end up being a good story, but you need to include more detail, for instance when describing the car crash you just said there was aloud boom.
The dialouge between Hermione and her Mother. i mean if you had just told someone that your husband had been in a wreck they would be like are they ok? Is he alive?
Also at the hospital it seemed a little cliche that Ginny went into labour. I think you really need to consider gatting a beta, coz this story could be really good :)Author's Response: Ok, thanks for the advice. I will be rewriting soem of this. Report Review
This is brilliant! I really love it! Can't wait til the next chapter! keep it up, it's wonderfully written!Author's Response: Thanks loads for reviewing! Report Review
ok, I think you need some more discription in this. Like the graveside scene. You didn't explain what the gravestones looked like. earlier on in the story you didn't explain what your characters looked like either, it really helps the reader if you describe things, it makes it much easier to imagine it :)
you also didn't explain about her parents death, perhaps your saving it for later chapters. Anyways i think this could be a good story, I'm looking forward to the next chapter.Author's Response: oO geez. i can't believe i didn't think about describing the people! XD oi. ill try to do that in the second chapter. hahaha. yeah, as of now i am saving the parents' death thing for later. thanks though and i hope you continue to read it (: Report Review
JENN, I totally love this story, as you already know :P Oh and to the rest of you the next two chapters are bloody awesome aswell hehe. *waves Herbert flag* I wish I could have kissed Sirius lmso. I love it anyways Jenn, and you need to get revenge on Cindy soon! Looking forward to chapter 11 or is it 10? lmao :D 10/10Author's Response: lol, I haven't started to write eleven yet, but it's starting to trun in my head! lol, thanks for the review! Report Review
This is a brilliant one shot, at first I was a little like woah, just because I haven't read this style before. I had to read it twice to make sense of it lol (that may be because I'm just tired) I'm so adding this to my favourites. Brilliant :)Author's Response: Eeee, thanks so much for this review! It's admittedly kind of a weird style and probably the last I'm doing of this style for a while, but I'm sosososososososo glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the favorite! Report Review
I'm not really sure what I think of this chapter. It seemed a little off. I can see the concept of the story and it's a good idea. I think Hermione is OOC, she just doesn't seem Hermione-ish. Thats just my opinion anyways, your writing style s good though :) keeep it up.Author's Response: As I said before to other people who noticed this, there is a reason for Hermione beinf OOC in this chapter. It leads to her finding out something in the next one. You'll understand what I am saying when it is up. Thanks for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it. Report Review
ERICA! I love this story already. *is adding it to my faves* I can't wait to read more. Keep it up! Author's Response: lol.. Im almost done wit chappie 2, but not quite yet :D Report Review
This story just keeps getting better and better. Can't wait til the next chapter :)Author's Response: I'm so glad you like the story so far. Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
I like this story, I think I've had a smile on my face the whole time I was reading :) keep it up!Author's Response: Glad to see you're still smiling. :)
Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
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