Aside from the occassional awkward spot and a couple small mistakes , I am in love with this story. Brilliant job describing the next generation. Anywho, here are the few things I noticed: "For example, Tegan, you hold it with your hands right over left instead of right over left..." Did you mean "right over left instead of left over right"? And also: “They think I’m a crazy fascist cap’n,...And, if it’s any consolation, I can be your crazy communist Chaser.” You do know that communists and fascists are opposite things, right? Or are Tegan and James just not aware of that? And lastly: "Not that there isn’t anything wrong with being black." I'm not sure if you meant "Not that there is anything wrong with being black," because that's the expression people generally use.
Sorry if I'm nitpicking, but I really did love your story and am looking forward to updates!Author's Response: Oops, stupid typo there! And I put fascists and communists deliberately, because they're opposites on the political spectrum. I guess I mean that they'd both be radicals. Uh oh, another typo. Sorry, I wrote this really fast without proofreading, and I'll fix it. Thanks for pointing everything out, and thatnks for your review! Report Review
Oh. My. Goodness.
That was hilarious. Don't ever change your writing style.
Please update soon. Author's Response: Updates on the way, as fast as the validation queue will roll! And don't worry, Snape's writing style will never change...I could probably write this story straight through to book 7 if I wanted to...hmm, interesting idea... Report Review
I thought this was a pretty good chapter; looking forward to more! You don't find many stories about James' and Lily's parents, and this is a nice representation. Just one minor thing-- when someone is engaged, it's spelled fiance, with an accent over the 'e'. Other than that, good job! Report Review
First, I just wanted to say that I really, really like your story. It's so fun and you have such an amazing writing style. Second, I'm not sure if it matters too much, but in Spanish, to say my (multiple) friends, it's mis amigos. But, hey, other than that, it's great!Author's Response: Thanks for reading! Luclare is probably my favorite fanfiction i've written so far (I have other fics on a different website). Thanks for the language thing too, I don't know if I'll have time to change it though, I'm really in a writing "zone" right now, and can't stop writing. And chapter 8 is in waiting!
Love, love it! I have to admit that, yes, I'm craving more Remus/Emilie, but this chapter seemed perfect the way it is! Not rushed, which is always a good thing, great writing...can't wait for next update! Report Review
The story's good so far, well-written and interesting...but I noticed that Lovette seemed to change eye colors in the early bit!
First they were brown, and then, "Lovette stood right in front of Sirius, her blue eyes piercing his gray eyes," and then they were brown again! ?Author's Response: Yeah, thanks for reading my story! I did notice the eye color thing the last time I read through it...which just happened to be after it was in waiting! Thanks for notcing that though, I'll change it as soon as I can!
As much as I don't care for Draco/Ginny stories, this one is excellent! Great job!Author's Response: Really? Wow, what a compliment. I know how hard it is to enjoy a ship that you usually wouldn't. I feel so honored that you actually enjoyed this oneshot! *grins*
Thanks so much for your review! Report Review
Ooh, such a different take on the whole Harry Potter scene! I really like it-- excellent writing, hardly any typos, and I liked the legnth as it is! Great Job!Author's Response: Thanks! I try to make my stories as realistic as possible and stick to the canon, just from another point of view. I do have a problem with those typos; I'll go back over it and try to weed them out. Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you like it! Report Review
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